# Episode 1 - Introduction of Brian and Nicole

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2024-08-25T20:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15636151-episode-1-introduction-of-brian-and-nicole.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-1
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode1.html
- People: Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host)

## Summary

In the first episode, Brian and Nicole introduce themselves by sharing their contrasting childhood experiences as quintessential Gen Xers. They discuss their family backgrounds, parenting styles, and the impact of their upbringings on their current lives and parenting approaches.

## Key takeaways

- Brian grew up in a traditional family setting in New Jersey, while Nicole was raised by a single mother in Oregon.
- Both hosts reflect on the common experiences of Gen X, including a lack of supervision and a sense of independence.
- They discuss the differences in parenting styles between their generations, highlighting the shift towards more involved parenting.
- The episode touches on the impact of social media on today's youth compared to their own childhood experiences.
- Brian and Nicole plan to explore multigenerational topics and invite guests from various backgrounds in future episodes.
- They emphasize the importance of sharing stories from Gen Xers, who often do not share their experiences.

## FAQ

### What are the backgrounds of Brian and Nicole?

Brian grew up in a traditional family in New Jersey, while Nicole was raised by a single mother in Oregon, leading to very different childhood experiences.

### How do Brian and Nicole's parenting styles differ from their parents'?

Brian and Nicole both aim to be more involved and communicative with their children compared to their own parents, reflecting a shift in parenting styles among Gen X.

### What common experiences do Gen Xers share?

Gen Xers often share experiences of being unsupervised as children, leading to a sense of independence and self-reliance.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwyQLJBlGvg)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-1-introduction-of-brian-and-nicole/id1764838823?i=1000666562013)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0dSJJIl5NLj6tqRwoGQdcA)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15636151-episode-1-introduction-of-brian-and-nicole)

## Transcript

[MUSIC]
So in this episode, which is episode one,
we're just going to give a little bit of
a background of ourselves
before we dive into current events,
different issues, hot topics, et cetera.
So, Brian, do you want to share a little
bit about your childhood?
Like, I would say that even though you
and I were both born in 1971, so that
makes I'm 53, Brian
will be 53 in a few months.
I married an older woman.
Yes.
So even though we are the quintessential
Gen Xers, we each represent kind of the
two different
backgrounds Gen Xers came from.
Our backgrounds could
not be more polar opposite.
But even so, we still
have some common experiences.
When we reflect on our childhood, there
are some definitely some common
experiences we share.
Even if our childhoods
were the complete opposite.
So would you like to start with sharing?
Sure, sure.
So even geographically,
we're polar opposites.
I grew up in the East Coast.
I grew up about 45 miles outside of New
York City in the northwest corner of New
Jersey in a little town called Sparta.
Sparta is not so it's still probably the
same size, but it's probably bigger and
more global thinking.
Then it then it was when I grew up there.
You know, for me, two parents, sister, so
we had four of us in
the house in the suburbs.
I always had a dog, had a
large extended family nearby.
My mom had six sisters and a brother.
They had a total of eight kids and they
all live pretty close.
So, you know, weekends for us were family
parties, birthday parties, just hanging
out, barbecues, whatever it would be.
What was the what's the word demographic
of your family or the.
You mean like the.
I'm using the wrong word.
Our background was Irish
and English and kind of mutts.
So your so your mom,
were they Irish Catholic?
Yeah, yeah, my.
You know, my mom's and her family, her
sisters and brother, they grew up in
Hoboken, New Jersey.
Yeah, they grew up poor in Hoboken, New
Jersey, as Irish immigrants, second
generation, not first.
Her parents didn't come over, but I'm
sure her grandparents did.
So, yeah, you know, she's Irish Catholic.
And then your dad
grew up in West Virginia.
That's from West Virginia.
My mom grew up in
Hoboken, Hoboken, Hoboken today.
If you go to Hoboken today, it's it's you
know, it's very wealthy.
It's the up ease.
Yes.
A lot of folks that work in New York.
Very different.
You know, the cake bosses there now.
Right.
I think so.
Well, yeah, I don't know.
But he was there for years.
Yeah, my dad grew up in a little town
called Granville, West Virginia, which is
across the river from Morgantown where
West Virginia University is.
Yeah.
He went to the Navy after high school.
And for him, fortunately, there were no
active wars at the time.
He was there between, I would say, the
Korean War and Vietnam.
So very lucky.
Traveled the world.
You know, got to see the world basically.
They met in Hoboken, I think, at a dance.
Well, I've had my mom on, right?
Yes.
She can tell us.
She can tell the story.
But so they met and then they didn't want
to raise their children
in Hoboken at the time.
And so they went out into the country
basically in New Jersey.
I mean, it's a ton of farmland and it's
still very rural, even though it's
building up because so many
people are moving out there.
And they well, they got married and then
they moved out to Sparta and they raised
you and your sister.
Well, they did.
My aunt and uncle Sonny
first moved to Sparta.
My uncle Sonny was the fire chief of the
Hoboken Fire Department.
And they bought a little plot of land in
Sparta and they built a house there.
And then probably, you know, within five
years, maybe my
parents then moved to Sparta.
So I feel like if I remember correctly,
they moved to Sparta.
Was it in like 1958 or was it in the 60s?
I thought it was like 1962 ish.
Okay.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Maybe even 66 because I think my sister
was born in what, 68 or seven?
Like that 67, I think.
Yeah.
So I think it was 65, 66
ish somewhere around there.
Right.
And so you had, they stayed married.
You had aunts and uncles, cousins, a
whole bunch of family living
in the small town of Sparta.
And so you really had this traditional,
you know, conventional upbringing where
your parents are home.
When you were young, your
mom, she didn't work, right?
When you were young?
No, she didn't work until I think I was
in eighth grade, she went back to work.
Okay.
So yeah, no, I 100%.
I grew up in the, very similar to how
we've raised our kids, but dad worked.
Mom didn't.
Mom was home raising us.
I remember coming home from school and
having peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
You know, she'd make them obviously.
Yeah.
Or grilled cheese, watching cartoons
after school, getting some food in my
belly, then going and playing.
Right.
And if I played within the neighborhood,
it was, I'm outside and just out there.
But if I was going to a friend's house,
she would drive me there.
Right.
So yeah, she was home
till I went to eighth grade.
Right.
So, but did you, do you feel that you
still, um, experienced a lot of this, of
the same Gen X upbringing that some of
the more feral people from that
generation experience that didn't have.
What do you mean by feral?
Meaning, um, just go outside and you come
back when the lights come on.
Oh, a hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
You know, a couple of the rules I think
we had was be home by the
time the lights come on.
Every Sunday, we had to be home for
dinner at like four o'clock.
So we'd always have dinner on Sundays.
Um, you know, when you're younger,
there's tighter rules.
Right.
And as you get a little older, the
boundaries get a much
broader, much wider.
So, um, I grew up near Lake Mohawk, which
is the centerpiece Lake in Sparta.
And we would walk down to the lake and go
fishing and then walk home.
And sometimes if, you know, when you have
sleepovers, we'd stay up all night and go
fishing at like three in the morning.
Right.
It's still dark out.
Um, so it was, yeah, it was pretty, um,
the, the, that Generation X, you know,
our, our upbringings and that Generation
is, is, um, probably very similar in, in
that we were all, that
was the parenting style.
Right.
Yes.
You just, you were out,
but for in different ways.
So, so you had this more
traditional upbringing.
Mine is the exact opposite.
So I am more one of the first kids of
divorce parents, my parents divorced when
I was two and a half.
And my mom was a single mom.
We started out, I was born in Michigan,
but then we moved to
Oregon where she's from.
And I grew up, um, in Portland, Oregon.
And that I would say
that I was a daycare kid.
You know, my mom had to go to work.
So I was in daycare from the time I was
in preschool all the way
through until I was old enough.
Well, really I was, I was in preschool
until a third grade.
So I was in daycare.
I mean, I'm sorry.
I was in daycare from
preschool through second grade.
And then in third grade is when I became
a latchkey kid, which is a
little grade third grade.
So, and that is a, it's a legit term.
We had keys and we
wore them around our neck.
I don't know if everybody
wore theirs around their neck.
I have a feeling I kept mine in my
backpack throughout school.
And then on the way home on the bus, I
put it around my neck, but I thought that
was the term to you told me that right
now it's a legit key.
I had a key.
So we hit our keys if, um, yeah, probably
maybe once it was eighth grade, right?
And there was, I'm going
home to an empty house.
The key was hidden somewhere like under
the doormat or whatever.
Right.
I don't know about, I don't know.
Cause I had a key.
So I don't know if my mom had a key as
well, but I had a key.
I don't think so because I remember in,
um, I think it was, I can't remember.
I want to say fifth grade.
I got locked out and I was, I was so
upset because I couldn't get in.
So we didn't have a, we didn't have a key
had hidden, but in third
grade is when I started.
So, well, first of
all, I should backtrack.
I hated daycare.
I hated daycare there.
Daycare was not as common as it is now.
Um, it feels like it just really started.
It was really starting up because we're
the first generation.
I think of, uh, of say higher
divorce and daycare probably.
Yeah, I would say, and I would, yeah.
And again, it was, it was
fine, but my mom was at work.
I was one of the last ones picked up.
I hated it.
So in third grade, I was able to go home.
I would go inside.
I'd lock the door behind me.
I'd call my mom, let her know I'm home.
I'd call my dad, let him know I'm home.
He was in Michigan, but I would let him
know that was the rule.
And then I would, I don't, I don't think
I had any homework then.
I don't think we had
homework in third grade.
I don't remember having homework really
until maybe sixth grade,
but if I had any, I did it.
And then I would pick
up around the house.
I would, you know, do the dishes, get the
coffee ready for the next day,
any picking up that needed to be done.
And then I would go outside and play with
the neighborhood kids until
my mom came home from work.
And that was kind of my
life through third grade.
We moved a lot.
It's another thing
because she had remarried.
So, and then they got divorced.
So I was, I was, let's see, by fourth
grade, I'd gone through two divorces.
And then, so we moved and I
was still the last key kids,
still coming home,
doing all those things.
But then having, you know, as you get
older, having regular
experiences, I played basketball.
I wasn't a huge athlete.
Middle school, I ran cross country.
I love that.
But it's interesting because I'm sure, as
I know that your parents
were at all your football games,
baseball games, basketball games.
And my mom went to my games, but my dad
was never at anything.
So when I had a stepdad, he would go, but
there were intermittent.
It's hilarious when I had a stepdad.
Well, because she did remarry again.
She was a wild one.
She remarried again and
he came to some stuff.
But then, so there's
periods where it's just your mom.
And then when she remarries, it's your
mom and your stepdad.
And then if they get divorced, and they
did get divorced again.
So I'm a thrice divorce, a kid of three
divorces, I guess, is how I'd say it.
My parents stayed, they were married, I
don't even know how many
years, like 40 something years?
Oh, yes.
Yes, they were into the 40s.
Yeah, they'd still be
married if my dad was alive.
Yes, 100%.
So again, opposites, but I was out, not
supervised until my
mom came home from work.
And as a result, I
had an empty house too.
That's another thing with last key kids.
So when I had a boyfriend in sixth grade,
he came over to the house.
There's lack of supervision.
In that capacity, the
house is not supervised either.
Or at least for you, you had someone
supervising the home until eighth grade.
But you also had sports so much, so you
were going out, going to your practices.
You didn't have as
much downtime as I did.
I had a lot more downtime.
No, probably not.
Because I played the town sports from
whatever age you could do it.
Played football in the fall, basketball
in the winter, and
baseball in the summer.
And then actually, having a mom who's
home, we had lake memberships.
So we'd go down to the lake and go to the
same beach every day,
unless it was raining.
That was in the summer.
Yeah, in the summer, yeah.
Yeah.
I can't even remember.
Oh, I know.
When I was younger, in the summers, I
would go spend like five
weeks at my dad's in Michigan.
So I was gone in the
summers when I was younger.
And then as far as when I got home, I
think I just hung out with my friends.
I would sleep in and
wake up, watch cartoons.
So we're also called the MTV generation.
And something that's interesting about
you and I is that
because I lived in a city or
outside of a city, we got
MTV right when it premiered.
Like the day it premiered, I remember
coming home from school,
watching it the minute it
premiered.
And I know you guys
didn't get it till later.
I don't even know when we got it.
I feel like maybe eighth grade, ninth
grade, something like that.
So for me, I want to
say it was sixth grade.
Well, what's interesting a little--
Or fifth grade, because it was 1980.
A little nugget of little trivia, at
least this is what we
grew up thinking or knowing
or learning later, is that Service
Electric Cable TV is the
oldest cable TV provider in
the country.
They were the first.
And that's who we had our service from.
Oh, that's interesting.
They were the first and we had like 13
channels or whatever.
Then we finally got the upgraded box and
then MTV came out and that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
And they had a monopoly
on that whole area for you.
They still might.
They still might, yeah.
But so then I come home
from school and watch MTV.
I would do my normal stuff, get my snack,
whatever it was, and watch MTV for hours,
for hours, because it was such a new
phenomenon to be able to
see the music, not just listen
to it.
So if I didn't have anything going on,
because I really only
played it that fifth, the
elementary years I
played like rec basketball.
And then in middle
school I ran cross country.
I don't remember anything else.
So I had a lot of downtime.
I had too much downtime,
but I think a lot of us did.
And then once, and then I would go over
to my friend's house
in elementary school and
middle school and we would hang out.
So we would walk around the
neighborhood and do stuff.
So I think I'm similar to you in that.
I would go out and
hang out with my friends.
Or I'd go over to their
house and we would watch MTV.
Like we would do that together.
But I think that's similar.
I had to be home when my
mom came home from work.
I think that as far as...
You mean like if she was coming home at
six you had to be home
by 555 type of thing?
Yeah.
So I think the thing with Gen X is we
were unsupervised when
we were out of the house.
The whole drink from the
garden hose, like in the summer.
So much of that is true.
If you're outside with a bunch of kids,
there was no, I'm going
to bring my 10 friends into
the house to get drinks and snacks.
It just wasn't like that.
If everyone's thirsty and you're in the
middle doing something,
if there's a big group, you
would grab a hose, turn it
on, everybody got a drink.
I mean, I experienced that.
Where I'm from, I imagine you did as
well, being from more of a rural area.
100% I can taste the taste right now.
It's like metallic.
No, that rubbery taste.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like
metallic when I think back.
That's so interesting.
Yeah.
To me, it's that
rubbery garden hose taste.
Yeah.
And you all took turns or sprinklers.
You would just hook up a cheap ass
sprinkler, the hose and run
through it for like hours.
It was such simple entertainment.
We played a ton of Whiffle Ball.
We had a pretty cool situation.
We had the house behind us.
It's like abandoned or something or the
people that were there.
I think it was abandoned.
They were just, I don't know what the
deal was, but the backyard was open.
It was flat.
We'd bring a lawn chair
up there as the strikes on.
Yeah.
We played Whiffle Ball for hours.
Well, and I think that's also the
difference between a boy and a girl.
So I was more social.
Like girls would get together
and be more social, watch MTV.
We did have some girls play with us.
Did you?
Some of the neighborhood girls.
I'm not trying to like say
girls in a play with football.
I'm just saying that role for us, there
wasn't an empty abandoned
field because everything
I'm in a suburb, you know,
and we would walk to seven 11.
We would take our money
and we'd walk to seven 11.
And I remember I would always buy a
tangy, big tangy taffy
bar, which is kind of like
a big, laffy taffy bar now and chocolate.
And then we'd sit on the curb on a
highway, a fairly decent, busy highway.
We'd sit on the curb and watch cars go by
and eat all of our candy.
I'm sure you had similar situations.
We actually, we had the seven 11.
Yeah.
We'd walk up the hill to seven 11.
And we buy candy and we're
hot dogs, slurpees, right?
Slurpees.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'd actually dumpster dive to see, to
get magazines like the playboys.
Oh my gosh.
They threw away.
Yeah.
Some of my friends caught on.
Cause that was the porn then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was porn.
Yeah.
There wasn't any access to the internet
for videos, uh, for porn for boys.
It was Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse.
There was no internet.
Right.
There was no internet.
But yeah.
No, it's your uncle's stash of playboys
or somebody's we or
Penthouse or whatever.
And yes.
100%.
That was the porn.
But then they caught
onto the whole thing.
Um, and they, I think they
stopped doing it or something.
I don't know that
that didn't last forever.
Well, you used to have to.
Okay.
So how about this?
Did you ever go down to a store and buy
cigarettes for a friend, a relative?
Um, we actually had the Sparta diner.
Okay.
And they had the machine you'd put your
quarters and then pull
the thing and the cigarettes
would fall out.
But you did it.
You were able to stand at
that and no one stopped you.
100%.
I would go down there.
We'd have family parties at my house.
And, um, I knew what all my, I know, I
still know what all my
cousins smoked, right?
Whether it's Paul malls
or Winstons, Marlboro Reds.
Yeah.
Um, and I'd go down there because they,
we would have parties at the house.
Every party.
Um, there was poker game.
All my cousins, uncles, my
dad, they'd all play poker.
So they all had changed.
They send me down to the
diner with their order.
I'd walk down and, um, get
everybody their cigarettes.
Yeah.
And they had the matches sitting there.
Um, pretty funny.
Cause I was probably, I don't know, 10,
11, 12 ish type of thing.
Did you go by yourself?
Um, um, no, no, my cousins, um, or like
my problem, I don't
know if my sister went,
um, but definitely
like cousins or friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, my, so the smoking
thing is interesting, right?
Like, so my mom smoked Virginia slims.
Um, she smoked when she was
pregnant with me, she smoked.
That does explain a lot.
Yeah.
Uh, uh, they, she drank too, not heavily.
She was never a big
drinker, but they drank.
Um, she smoked, you know, with me in the
car, she smoked in the house.
Um, that was normal.
One of my favorite memories is my aunt
dot would smoke in the car.
So we'd go to the mall.
I just specifically remember this time
where we're going to the mall and she
had a, this alarm on her car.
It was this old big ass green sedan.
I don't even know what the
hell it was like a Chevy.
It was a Chevy or a
Ford or something, right?
It was, um, an American car big had this
little red thing that if it went over
as 55, the thing would start to buzz.
It wouldn't alarm would come on.
Yeah.
I just remember sitting in the back, no
seatbelt windows are down and she's
up there just smoking and it's just
bellowing around the whole car.
Yeah.
No, it's hilarious.
It's very normal.
Um, I remember you, uh, telling stories
about for holiday parties, you guys
would be sitting, you're young sitting on
the floor and you could see a whole.
Yeah.
My aunt Lorraine and uncle Tom's.
Yeah.
Um, it was just the
full inversion of smoke.
Like just hovering
above you like a cloud.
Yeah.
Almost.
Yeah.
No, it was awesome because it was for
like Christmas parties.
We'd all go there.
And there's, I don't know how many
people, 20 people, 30 people.
I don't even know.
Right.
But the house wasn't that big.
Yeah.
And everybody's there and everybody's
smoking and they had these in its
winter and it's freezing outside, but
they're the heat they had was the old
radiators, those, you know, people, kids
today would, they would no clue what a
radiator is, but you know, people are,
those radiators would run pretty hot.
So that was like the source of heat.
And it was, you just couldn't really
totally dial it in because you had the
radiator on, you had a
bunch of people there.
So it's hot as shit inside.
You've got the bellowing smoke up above
and everyone's loud and drinking.
And yeah, yeah.
Just chaos.
Yeah.
Which I would say probably for most Gen
Xers who grew up like you with a big
family that you spend a lot of time with,
uh, your family, probably some of the
best memories you've ever had.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
And people would love to go
back to even one day of that.
So what we look forward to doing.
Right.
And what's interesting listening to you
talk about these memories, these
memories you have with your family.
And then for me, so much of it is just my
mom and I, because she's a single mom.
So, you know, my mom smoked
and I have memories of that.
Now my stepdads did not smoke.
So it was just my mom.
So my memories are chaos.
Your memories are chaotic,
loving family, fun times.
My memories are chaos from the craziness
that was going on in my childhood.
Meaning my parents got divorced.
I was moved from one state to another.
I saw my dad every summer
and every other Christmas.
I remember I flew
alone at five years old.
That's when I started flying to see him.
I was five years old.
He would put me in first class just
because I was so little and a stewardess
would, or flight attendant, they were
called stewardess back then.
Flight attendant would be in charge of
keeping an eye on me.
And I flew alone from Oregon, Portland,
Oregon, and I would land in Detroit.
Get off the plane.
Like a flight attendant would walk out
with me and hand me to my dad.
Cause back then you could
meet planes up until nine 11.
You could meet people right at when
they're getting off the plane.
So actually that stopped right before
nine 11, but it's in New York at least.
Cause I, when I would fly from Oregon to
Newark, uh, Newark airport after the
first, uh, the basement
bombing or the parking garage,
the first bombing.
Okay.
Yeah.
The that's, that's what happened.
But to your point, you, people would go
to the airport and hang out.
Oh yeah.
Hang out at the gate and you'd walk off.
You walked off the flight and your loved
ones were standing right there.
And they would walk with you to baggage
claim or they, if you didn't have bags,
pretty much everyone checked back.
Thanks.
It didn't cost another thing.
It did not cost money to check bags, but
the flight attendant
would walk me off the
flight and hand me to my dad.
And then when I would go back to Oregon,
he would meet the flight attendant right
at the gate, she would
walk me on the plane.
They'd get me settled.
And this was back when, uh, so, uh, first
class at that time, you got a hot meal.
I think everyone got a hot meal back then
flying, you got a meal and it was hot,
but on first class, you would get on a
tray and you would get these little
glass salt and pepper shakers.
They were maybe one inch tall each one
inch by one inch each.
They were so pretty.
They were clear crystal, little glass
salt and pepper shakers.
So I would take them and then I would
give them to my mom when I would get off
the plane. So she had a collection of, I
can't tell you how many salt and pepper
shakers she has because every flight.
So I started doing that at the age of
five, I would fly out in the summer.
I'd spend the summer with him.
He was an emergency room, uh, doctor.
He ran the ER.
I spent a lot of time in the ER.
The nurses took care of me.
Um, entertained me.
God bless them.
They spent hours entertaining me and then
I'm, uh, I'm half Armenian.
And so my whole Armenian family is out in
Michigan and I had ants and cousins.
And because my dad would be on shifts, I
spent a lot of time kind of, this is
similar to you, I would spend a lot of
time with, I would be one ant for like a
week and I'd be another ant for a week
and another ant for a week.
So those women really
cared for me and raised me.
Thank God at that time.
Um, so my summers, a
lot of my summer was that.
And, but then there was, I'd go back to
Oregon and it would just be, so I had
this big family feeling, this big family,
um, vibe in Michigan,
and then I'd go back
to Oregon and it'd be my mom and I again.
Now I do have family in Oregon, but it
wasn't, we did see each other maybe for
family birthdays and stuff, but it
wasn't, we lived on the other side of the
river in Portland.
We didn't see them a lot.
So really my memories feel like it was my
mom and I, unless there was a stepdad.
And so there was a stepdad two times
throughout my childhood.
And then there wasn't.
So that's pretty good.
So it's, it's the opposite of it's so
interesting, but I will say that.
Well, I had ultimate stability.
Yes.
Whereas you're, you had semi-pure chaos.
Here you talk about it.
It's, it's, it's actually funny, but
it's, it is pretty fucked up.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
No, it's crazy.
It's, it's, but I think that a lot of Gen
Xers are children of divorce.
And because divorce was so new back then,
I don't think society knew how to deal
with it for these, for us
kids, let alone our parents.
Not at all.
If you think about it back then, you
know, at least women didn't have rights,
the same rights they do today.
Right.
If you, I don't know, whatever the
divorce settlement was safe for your mom.
I, it feels like they're
probably more equitable today.
Um, maybe, maybe not.
I don't know if you know, you still hear
a horror story, but there wasn't, I don't
think there were as many systems in place
to, to help with all that.
So you were, you're at home on your own.
Very limited resources.
Yeah.
Very limited resources.
I mean, daycare had just like we were
saying that it probably was, it just
started back then
when, when we were kids.
Like con institutionalized daycare.
I think, I think that people helped out
moms, like your neighbor would watch
your kid, that type of stuff.
But, but so, well, I mean, right after my
parents got divorced, my mom was able to
get a credit women were pretty much just
starting to get their, starting to get
their own credit cards for
the first time in their name.
Yeah.
Like you used to be able to get one in
your husband's name.
Yeah.
Um, and you, and on your
bank account, it was Mr.
And Mrs.
So the husband's name, but finally in the
early seventies, women could finally get
their own bank account in their name,
their own credit card.
It's just crazy.
No, it is crazy.
It's crazy.
But so I think what we have in common,
whether we're children of divorce,
genex children of divorce or a genex
child that was raised in a normal,
quote unquote, normal family.
I think one thing we do have in common is
the lack of supervision.
And also I would say a complete and utter
lack of checking in with us as
kids on how we're feeling, how we're
doing psychologically, how we're
handling life, there
was zero checking in.
It was, it was, you know, we, or I think
there was probably checking in,
but it's kind of like you good.
Yeah.
All right.
Right.
It was very, maybe very surface that I
will say for my mom and I, we probably
took it a little step further.
Cause there was now I look back a ton of
trauma, but there was drama going on.
There was a lot of ups and downs.
So she, as a result would
check in with me on that.
Overall, I would say for Genex kids, we
were just kind of doing life on our own
and whatever, whatever happened to us, no
one was catering to how we were
feeling about anything.
No, I'd even go a step further in.
We grew up in the generation where
coaches were old school, right?
We call them quote unquote old school.
I used an old school approach.
Like my old basketball coach.
Boy, I hated that guy for a while.
Uh, he would scream and yell at us.
Swear, swear, you know, call us.
Pussy's names, whatever.
Um, but man, I know basketball cause that
guy was, he was a genius, but he would be
in the gym chain smoking, he would light
his next cigarette off the one he was
currently smoking.
Yeah.
You do not see people like that anymore.
And what's funny about
it, actually he got ran.
He got ran out of the program.
So, you know, I left that was seventh and
eighth grade travel basketball.
Um, and you go, you know, you move on to
high school, come back from college.
And, and I remember he was just got run
out of the program because he was just,
he hadn't changed, but the
world had changed around him.
Yes.
Very different.
I think there all of those
coaches were, were let go.
All right.
Where there might still be
somewhere around, but not,
I would be shocked.
Could you imagine?
You almost see it now, um, more in
women's sports, right?
This, this coach at LSU, she's, she's
kind of got a reputation to being little,
you know, little, uh, aggressive, maybe.
I don't know.
I don't, I forget her name, but she seems
to kind of have that old school style.
She doesn't take shit from anybody.
It's, it's actually pretty funny.
Yeah.
But is it that, or is it just that
society isn't used to
seeing a woman being like
that?
Yeah.
Good point.
Could be because any, I don't find her
offensive or abrasive, but
I know, um, she catches,
catches some shit from people.
Right.
But is again, could be
because she's a woman.
Like if she was a man, would anyone blink
twice at what she's doing?
Um, the Bob Knight coach of Indiana, he
kind of got run out too, right?
He was that old school type of coach.
Right.
And she finally just got set up.
I don't know.
I don't follow.
I don't follow the sport closely enough,
but you know, it's the NCAA women's
tournament time of year.
And so she's got a
little spotlight on her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she's not taking anybody shit.
I think it's actually pretty funny.
I think that's awesome.
Honestly, I think that when you can speak
as an athlete growing up in the eighties,
um, and your experiences with different
coaches, I'm sure that your experiences
with different coaches are completely
different than the experiences our
kids have had with coaches.
As far as the coaches you
had had zero boundaries.
They had complete, they could do whatever
they wanted with you.
Well, it's an interesting concept because
I do remember I'm by the time I got to
high school, that was, we
were in that transition phase.
I do remember one of our coaches getting
in trouble for
getting physical with a kid.
Nothing crazy.
I think he grabbed them too rough.
And you know, so, and that didn't fly,
but five years prior
to that probably would
have been fine.
Yeah.
So we were kind of in
that, um, that transition.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like where things were
starting to a little bit change.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, what's interesting is, um, I
remember in eighth grade, some, I had a
junior, I was junior high, so seventh,
eighth and ninth grade where you were
more middle school, which was sixth,
seventh and eighth grade, I believe.
No, no.
We went K through six,
seven and eight is junior high.
And then, so K through six is elementary
middle school was seven and eight.
And then nine to 12 was high school.
So we went K through five, seven through
nine and 10 through 12.
Yeah.
So in eighth grade, I remember we had a
gym teacher who took an
interest in a ninth grade girl.
We didn't really know what was going on.
They just were always sitting next to
each other in the hallway on the bench.
You know, he was a PE teacher.
Um, looking back now, I am
shocked that nothing was done.
I net it would never fly now, but the
interest that he took in this girl,
it, you just kind of went, everyone just
kind of went about their day.
And, you know, it's crazy, but, and come
to find out, I think I'm not sure,
but it was inappropriate.
I don't know what happened, but whatever
was going on was inappropriate.
Whether it was, even if it was just him
talking to her every day and giving
her special attention, inappropriate.
And the fact that it wasn't even handled
by the staff or the administration.
And that all of those
kids, that shit flies today.
No, I think even as parents, if you see
it, you know, people would get involved.
Yeah.
People are way more hyper
aware, at least in schools.
Now, if you're talking about what's so
interesting is the documentary quiet
out right now, and I just watched it last
night, if you're talking about
Hollywood, I think it a hundred is a
hundred percent with,
uh, with, uh, Drake.
Yes.
Drake and Josh.
Yes.
It's incredibly sad.
And I think that in
Hollywood it's still rampant.
So we're talking and Hollywood's full of
perverts too, though.
In general, I would say a lot, but
perverts and weirdos and
lots of inappropriate shit.
It's what they get away with.
It's, it feels like
there's, there's a change coming.
Maybe, maybe not.
Well, with everything going
on with, um, Diddy as well.
Was who with Diddy?
Oh, Diddy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you maybe, maybe there's a shift
coming, but what's so
interesting is since
we were growing up, there's been a shift
in how coaches can
treat student athletes.
There's a shift in how teachers male or
female can be towards their students.
That doesn't mean it doesn't happen,
especially I feel
like more women teachers
now are getting caught inappropriately
with young boys, with teenage boys.
Yeah.
That's wild.
You know, then, then when we were growing
up, I don't remember ever hearing about
that, but I do think people are more
aware and there's more
shift of, of being more
being on it, there's more consequences.
Well, you know, think about the, we were
kids, the priests were
still molesting boys.
Yes.
And that it's, we're
from that generation.
It feels like we were that last
generation for that to be, just continue.
Yeah.
Um, probably continued it probably, I,
you know, I'd never
let my kids be an altar
boy or anything like that.
I'd never let my kids be alone with the
priests because I grew up in that
generation, right?
I do know of someone who accused one of
our local priests and
it was the whole thing.
Um, the resolution was to move the priest
to another, uh, diocese or whatever.
Right.
But either way that you, that doesn't, I
don't think that's, it's not certainly
not as prevalent if it happens or not.
I don't know.
Feels like there's a lot
more awareness around that.
Yes.
All of these things really.
So, well, I feel like to your point in
the church, in school, in sports, but
it has not evolved in Hollywood.
Yeah.
I think it's coming.
And maybe that's the last shift.
It feels it, it has to.
I don't know.
Because you think about it.
Hollywood is, is what feeds.
I'll tell you why I think it's happening.
Um, look at what we're doing, right?
We're doing a podcast.
This is alternate media.
Right.
Hollywood does not have the same monopoly
on entertainment that it once did.
Right.
So there's a lot of avenues for creative
people to do creative things and a lot
of more independent filmmakers, right?
You can, you know,
think of the technology.
You can get a cinema capable camera at a
very affordable price now.
Whereas the barriers to entry on, on all
fronts, distribution, marketing,
you know, the equipment to do things, all
of those costs have come down.
Hell, you can make, uh, make amazing
videos with, with your iPhone.
Yes.
So I just don't, I don't
think they can get away with it.
Like the, like they once could.
I think you're right.
And I think what's interesting is that
Tik TOK has pulled so many viewers
away from streaming services, not only
viewers, but creative people.
If right.
You want to go to a lot of people would
want to go to Hollywood
to become famous and make money, right?
Probably the, you know, 50% one to make
the money, the other, either way,
it's, it's fame and money.
You can get that now on Tik TOK.
Get that now on YouTube.
You can get that in other avenues.
So you don't have to be,
um, part of something that you
don't necessarily want to be, I guess.
Well, yeah.
I mean, if you look at people that wanted
that dream of being famous and making
the only outlet for that was Hollywood.
That was it.
And so people would go there and sell
their souls and do
whatever they needed to do.
Or whether it was their choice or they
were forced to, or they were assaulted.
Well, the power paradigm was in the favor
of the person in power.
Yes.
The, if you go there and you do have to
sell your soul, maybe even your body.
You just don't, I don't
think you have to do that today.
Like you once did.
Well, I don't know about that, but I, I,
to your point, I do think that there are
now so many outlets that people can go to
content creators, um, creative people
and where other outlets where viewers can
go, where people aren't beholden
to Hollywood anymore
and YouTube, Tik TOK.
And I, I don't know about Instagram and
Facebook, but there's, I will say
Tik TOK exposes people.
It exposes celebrities.
It exposes the regular people that if
they're not doing something they should
be doing, you can't, the regular people
are talking to each other.
Do you mean the exposes them like in the
form of like a cancel culture or.
More like, um, takes
them off their pedestal.
I feel like it's brought, it's brought
actors and actresses off their pedestal.
Because for example, this whole JLo
documentary, she's getting so much back.
Um, what's the word backlash from it?
Uh, people in general don't like it.
Uh, they view it as it's just a
narcissist that funded her own
movie and all that.
So now people are coming out on Tik TOK
sharing their JLo stories
and they're all negative.
And people are like,
You mean like their, their JLo story that
they went and saw the movie
and now they're bashing
on it or they know her and.
Like they waited on her in a restaurant
or they had to do this, help
her personal shopping or it's all these
different things, right?
Or they worked, they were,
um, my working on a video shoot.
Maybe they brought her water.
I don't know.
It's all these different stories.
So it, that's what I mean when I say
exposing is that the regular people
are going to, are, can connect and come
out and talk to others and say, look.
This is what this person did to me, or
this is my experience with this
entertainer and they're not a nice person
or they're not a good person.
And it can, it affects them.
No, I know.
I'm not, I'm not, I don't know.
I don't know how I feel about that.
It's, it's good, I guess, but at the same
time it's maybe sniper sniping or
maybe a little catty, maybe petty, maybe
it's, you know what I mean?
I don't know.
Cause so many people
do things for attention.
So what's up, you know, will you get
attention if you say
something nice about JLo?
Versus if you say
something bad about her.
Well, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
What's the fine line there
that feels like it's getting
crossed at times, I don't know.
I think it's good because I think it does
bring, it brings these entertainers
down a little, down a notch a little bit,
but is a nice story going to garner as
much attention as a negative story?
I can say yes, because on Tik TOK you
have just as many positive stories.
And there are people on there that will
say nice stories about entertainers and
they get just as many
views and just as many likes.
So in fact, sometimes the nice happy
stories get more
attention than the negative ones.
Yeah.
So it's funny.
It just, it just depends.
I, I think, I think
it's a very positive thing.
I know there's people that have mixed
emotions about Tik TOK, but I think
it's a great way to connect us.
Just us people, us regular people with
each other to share
ideas and to share stories.
And it's also shows the different
generations that we
all kind of had a shared
experience, like listening to other Gen
Xers on Tik TOK made me realize, oh wow,
what I was going
through, it wasn't just me.
There were other kids my age, home from
school, sick, watching the prices, right?
Yeah, that shit cracks me up.
Campbell's chicken noodle soup or, or,
um, you're with your, staying with their
grandma and a young and the restless is
on and you're watching
her stories with her.
All of us were doing that.
That commonality stuff cracks me up.
Yeah.
Things like fantasy Island, the Brady
Bunch, Gilligan's Island, love boat,
what all those things, but that, that, I
think I saw that meme as well around.
You're everyone who was home sick, eating
Campbell's soup, watching
prices, sitting on the same couch.
And so it's just so interesting to me.
I never would have realized how connected
our generation was
and how we all had very
similar circumstances if
it wasn't for tick tock.
And I would say the millennials are, they
go through the same stuff.
Cause I see their videos talking about it
and Gen Z will too, when they're older.
Yeah.
And the boomers, you know, I have seen
boomers on tick tock.
Um, I either see them being filmed for
being racist or rude or ridiculous, or I
see really cool ones making videos with
really positive
messages and great advice.
Um, and there's really no in between.
I mean, I do sometimes, and then there's
the grant, the grandparent videos, but
that's more silent generation.
So I think it's very positive.
I think it's been a
great way to connect people.
Tick tock plug.
That's my tick tock plug.
Little tick tock.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm one of those, you know, middle-aged
women that will go into her room and
watch, you're not a Karen on there.
Are you like, no, I'm a Gen X or we're
not Karen's Gen X women are not Karen's.
But is that a fact?
Who are the, you think so?
I don't know.
I'm sure there's some asshole Gen X
people out there that have been jerks.
I, I'm sure.
Everyone says boomers, but sometimes when
I'm watching the videos, I'm like,
they don't look that much older than me.
Cause cause Gen X is a
age, I think it's 35 to 30.
No, 45 to 59, 45 to 59.
So there's a wide range there.
Yeah.
We're kind of in the
middle, I guess we are.
But I feel like it's more young boomers
that I see doing the
complaining and stuff.
Yeah.
But I'm sure there's, I
don't know, Gen X doesn't care.
We don't, we really don't want to insert
ourselves into what's going on or other
people's business unless if
you need help and that's obvious.
But other than that, we're
just kind of living our lives.
We do not care what anyone else thinks.
We do not care.
Certainly don't care what the younger
generations think
about what we're wearing,
how we look, like what decisions we make
with our own personal lives.
That doesn't mean we don't care about
what's going on in the world.
We are, most of us are very pro
environmentalist, big on recycling.
We do more action than
speaking or yelling, I guess.
We don't really virtue signal a lot.
We just kind of more live our lives and
we are compassionate and we do care,
but we aren't out screaming it like the
younger generations
do, if that makes sense.
Yeah, it does.
I don't, I'm trying to think.
I think I do that sometimes.
So, and I try to catch myself, but I
don't, I don't, I can't
think of an example of,
I don't know.
What were you trying to prove a point?
No, no, no.
Where I know I shake my head at what the
hell are these kids thinking or doing?
Right.
That kind of thing.
But then you have to, you know, you have
to check yourself and think, okay, you
know, dial it back a little bit.
What are they thinking?
More as a, what the
hell are they thinking?
It's okay.
Why are they doing that?
Right.
That kind of thing.
Well, and I meant more, we don't, we
don't need their approval.
Like we're going to live our lives and we
don't really care what they think about
how we're living our lives.
But I didn't mean I don't
care what they're doing.
I, you know, I definitely am observant to
what the millennials and what Gen Z,
especially Gen Z, because
we have three Gen Z kids.
We have the oldest Gen Z kid.
We have a Gen Z kid right in the middle.
And then we have the youngest Gen Z kid.
Um, so I find, I find it fascinating to
observe the generations and how they
tackle millennials seem to have a lot of
anxiety, but so do Gen Z.
There seems anxiety seems to be very
common and I have a feeling that is
what they don't get about us.
They don't, we don't come across as
having a lot of anxiety, but ironically,
because of the way we were raised, we
kind of, I think didn't have time to be
anxious or if we were anxious, we buried
it because it was not acknowledged by
anybody, we didn't allow
it to have a right to exist.
You buried that and you
went, kept going forward.
Whereas then when.
What interesting concept.
Yeah.
There, there wasn't, wasn't,
So my heavy.
Yeah.
There wasn't time for us or we weren't
allowed to bring it to the surface
for it to be dealt with.
It's an interesting concept because I
don't, you know, what is the source of
their anxiety and if you know kind of the
source, I guess you could start to make
sense of it.
Um, we had anxiety around things like,
you know, I remember when that kid, was
it Mikey, the kid on
the life commercials.
He died, right?
No, that was just like a rumor.
I don't think he died.
I thought, cause the rumor back then was
he ate pop rocks and died.
So there you go.
I bought, I bought that, but we did grow
up in the generation
of sitting and eating
your cereal and the back of the milk cart
was some lost kid, right?
Right.
And that was like, so we were scared in
some ways, but, but not.
Right.
Yeah.
I, it was, I think it was just another
thing, at least speaking for myself.
Cause I would, again,
I was in the middle of.
But there, there is, you know, nowadays
too, the kids are, there's a high tech
bombardment and constant assault on
everybody from all these different
technology, um, inputs, whether it's
social media or the news, you know, the,
the environment is, is, you
know, we're all going to die.
So the kids today are completely in it.
There's it's by design, right?
Right.
Very, it's high tech paranoia,
divisiveness type of type of stuff.
For us, it was like, okay, the, we're
going to go to war with Russia.
Right.
Russia's going to come and kill us or the
there's the body snatches are going to,
aliens are going to come
out of the sky and take us.
Right.
So they have that plus all the really
sophisticated, you know, I don't know
what you would call it.
Mind fucks.
I was going to say mind fuckery.
Really?
Yeah.
It's a good term.
No, I, I agree.
Oh, well, gosh, that's a whole, the
social media concept, but it's really
interesting.
I think that the Gen Z, especially they
have more anxiety because of social
media, because, um,
with your peers, right?
When we were growing up, if your friend
spent the night at your other friend's
house and you didn't get invited, you
either never found out about it or you
didn't find out till Monday when you got
back to school, right?
You didn't know about it in real time.
That's, that's a good point.
Phones know, you know, our
phone was hung on the wall.
Yeah.
And if the landline, yeah, the landline
and there was one phone, there was one
phone in my house, my mom
was usually on it at night.
So there's not a whole lot of, um,
tracking you down type of thing.
You had to go knock on
someone's door, right?
So to your point, there's no, there's no
Snapchat or, or Instagram or whatever
of kids out doing
something and you're left out.
So if you, and that, that's where
Snapchat really comes into play because
kids post what's
going on on their stories.
So, you know, immediately, Oh, I wasn't
invited to Timmy's house.
Um, and then you're crushed, right?
Yeah.
So I think that happens enough to
children that eventually it just breeds
this insecurity and this anxiety.
That's amplified.
It's like on steroids.
It's not normal.
And, and also I think that even go older,
like they're saying in the
clubs now, they don't dance.
Like when we were, you didn't go to
clubs, but when we were going to clubs,
we would dance and I know the millennials
dance too, but the Gen Zers don't dance.
And is it because they're
afraid of getting filmed?
Yeah.
Good point.
You know, every,
everybody can be recorded now.
Every aspect of your life at
any moment can be recorded.
Yeah.
And I'll be the first to
say I live my life literally.
Like I dance like no one
is watching to a fault.
I know that, but I love it.
It's my, it's my church
besides the actual church.
It's my moment.
I'm picturing Elaine on Seinfeld when you
say you've danced like no one's watching.
Kinda, but I don't care again.
That's the Gen X in me, but there is no
way a millennial or Gen Z.
I think millennial, maybe
Gen Z, no way they would there.
I think that they have this, this
paranoia that now lives inside of them,
that they could be quote unquote caught
doing something at any given time.
And I think it's just,
and not caught doing
something illegal, but being caught,
embarrassing kids will
pick on them type of thing.
Something it's,
and it could just be you're standing
there and you have a facial expression.
That's neutral and you'll get ripped
apart type of thing.
I mean, Ben Affleck's an example of that.
They rip on him because he never has an
official expression.
He's just sitting there.
So I think that for the younger,
that's that's actually kind of funny.
Yeah. And he doesn't care.
But which people are, I
think are astounded by that.
But I think for the younger generations,
once the social media
and the phones came in,
there's so much
positivity about it, right?
Like we have a family chat.
Yeah, we were able to keep in touch with
our older son and our
daughter when they were in college.
We never felt
disconnected from them right now.
Our youngest is out.
He's old enough.
He's going to be in
high school in the fall,
but he's out biking with his friends.
We can track him.
We know where he is.
These are all wonderful things.
Yeah, there's a lot of positives,
but the negatives,
I think sometimes outweigh the positives
and how it affects the
psyche as you're growing up.
And our youngest Gen Z is the first
generation that literally
has had social media from
the time that he got a phone.
Whereas with our other two, they were in
late middle school and high school.
So they had the privilege of having some
childhood without social
media and without phones.
What's interesting about that, though, is
he at least he uses it more for a
communications tool,
it seems, where in that they'll use
Snapchat to communicate with people.
I don't he's not a big IG kid, right?
He's not a big he'll look at shit on on
TikTok, but he's not
posting a bunch of stuff.
No.
YouTube, I guess, is social
media, technically, maybe.
I don't know.
But that's a wealth of information.
So it is interesting because we Gen Xers
Facebook, what was the
other one that that fell over?
It was Myspace.
It all started with Myspace.
We didn't do that.
The millennials, the
millennials did Myspace.
Yeah, we it came out.
We didn't really hop on it.
We didn't have on it.
Facebook came out and we
were on that like crazy.
Yeah.
And so there and but
are older to had Facebook.
They means they probably still do, but
they're not posting.
They're not actively engaged.
So it's an interesting where I'm going
with this is the as Gen
Xers Facebook came out.
We got on it.
The boomers got on it and
everyone, you know, it went nuts.
Now that these now that it's out and it's
kind of run its course,
it's not as big of a deal.
I don't think for kids,
it's not a deal at all.
So Gen Z does not Facebook at all.
It's it's non-existent thing.
Millennials, I think it's significantly
less like for millennials.
We had it in, I want to
say high school college.
Yes, Facebook.
So they were on then our oldest son.
It was high school.
He was on and our
daughter, she didn't have it.
She was middle school.
She didn't have it.
But now I think the only people on
Facebook are so boomers
did not go on it right away.
It was they did not.
They discovered it late.
But now it's a lot of
boomers and Gen X on Facebook.
Facebook.
That's who's on Facebook.
Gen Z wouldn't be caught dead.
The only reason I think our
daughter's on it is for work.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Other than that, they
have no interest in Facebook.
Instagram's kind of
going that same route.
Instagram's interesting because our
youngest son, him and
his friends have Instagram.
They're on Instagram.
He plays lacrosse.
It seems to be more for them posting
lacrosse videos and all that stuff.
As far as communication, I
think it's 100% Snapchat.
Snapchat's their world.
Snapchat's their lifeline.
And Instagram, I think Gen
Xers are still on Instagram.
Millennials are still on Instagram.
But what has taken over is TikTok.
TikTok's taken over.
TikTok and of course TikTok's changed.
Right.
So during the pandemic, it was fun,
dancing, you know,
and it's now it's gotten
dated a bit with, you know, the same
people that inundate
Facebook and ruin it, the
same people that inundate Instagram,
they're trying to creep
in and then celebrities
are getting in there and some of them
understand it and do it well.
They do, but others
don't and it's just cringe.
So I don't know.
The whole thing, as far as the anxiety is
what we were talking about.
I think a lot of it has
to do with social media.
The anxiety that millennials feel that
also could be because they did get
Facebook in high school.
It could be a lot of social media.
I'm sure there's tons of studies on this.
I don't know, but they seem to be two
very anxious generations.
And again, we probably suffered as well
from a ton of anxiety,
but I don't remember.
I personally had anxiety because of my
own personal situation,
but in general, we were
kind of just out there.
Like I remember in second grade, walking
down to the baseball diamond around the
corner and the lady,
I would pick up trash.
I was alone picking up trash and then I
would turn it in and
she'd give me a ton of
candy and then I'd walk home.
What was I like?
Seven.
I didn't have anxiety to do that.
I wasn't nervous about doing that.
Is that good or bad?
I think we were so unsupervised.
Did you have a Chester, a Chester, the
molester in your area?
Well, I moved so much.
I never was in one place
long enough to do what that was.
Yeah.
Did you?
Oh yeah.
It was like, okay,
stay away from that guy.
That's Chester, the molester.
Was it ever proven?
No, no.
It was pure rumor.
Yeah.
But everyone was like,
they were just weird.
Well, and now everyone can be a molester.
Yeah.
The, you know, our kids, friends, parents
can be, you know what I mean?
It's you suspect everyone.
I'm sure our, our Chester
was on the spectrum in some.
Yes.
Unfortunately, unfortunately.
They get ostracized for that.
Exactly.
No, that's yeah.
It's horrible.
So I don't know.
I mean, us not being supervised and our,
our parents pretty much not being
involved with our emotional and mental
psyche in any way probably helped us
become so
self-reliant and so independent.
We didn't really have time to ponder
being anxious about ordering off
of a menu or making a
doctor's appointment.
These are things they're anxious about.
So.
That gives me anxiety.
Oh, mostly because I don't want to deal
with calling a doctor's office and
explaining something to somebody.
So I think when it comes to you, you
don't want to have, you don't want to be,
you're annoyed that you have to go
through the process of dealing with that.
Yeah, that's a totally different thing.
And you've had a wife.
We should mention this year
marks our 30th anniversary.
So we got married at 23.
Yep.
So you've had a wife since you were 23
years old and we have
a very old fashioned.
The reason this is great.
Yeah.
We have a very old
fashioned marriage in a lot of ways.
So you've had a woman that's been taking
care of that for you your whole life.
You've had that privilege.
That's been a privilege for you.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
Privilege.
So, but I'm talking about for kids.
Well, even with our kids, like our son is
in his late twenties and our daughters in
her early twenties, and they are just now
starting to make their own doctors
appointments.
So, which brings me to another point.
I think Gen X because we were so quote
unquote neglected and there's different
levels of that, but sending a kid to buy
cigarettes isn't being neglectful.
You know, there's all
different levels, right?
So mine was more severe than yours.
But there were missteps by, I think most
parents, what the boomers and the silent
generation that were raising the Gen Xers
misstepped in a lot of ways out of
ignorance most of the time, but because
of that quote unquote neglect, Gen Xers
became helicopter parents.
Yeah.
We are.
And we also wanted to give for us
personally, wanted to give our children
everything that they didn't have.
And so for me, I wanted to be home
raising our children
because I didn't have that.
So staying home and raising our children
healed so much of my
inner child, allowing
me to give, I wanted to be home when they
walked in the door from school.
I wanted to, I wanted to
make the grilled cheese.
I wanted to be at every practice, every
game, because I didn't have that.
So you wanted those things because that's
what you knew growing up.
Yeah.
You wanted a similar, um, a childhood for
your kids, but where you also went extra
is I would say you are way more involved
with your children with interpersonal
communication, with knowing really who
they are authentically with keeping your
finger on the pulse of their emotional
and intellectual psyche and their mental
health.
I think you definitely stepped that up
from what you grew up with.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
So I have a, my, I
have a BS in psychology.
So I have a natural interest in that.
Yes.
You know, maybe that's kind of weird,
but, and I'm not, they're not lab
experiments in any way, but to your
point, there's just
the greater awareness of.
The mind, I guess, in mind and emotions
and things like that needs.
But do you think that that's driven from
your college degree or your
interests or more you wanting to, you
wanting to be even, even a better
father, not your dad was a great dad, but
in even better father and stepping up the
level, even higher
than what you experienced.
I it's great question.
I think it's, I did have a
great dad was close with him.
Um, and he did check in, you know, we
definitely, uh, you know, spent a lot
of time in the car together, type of
thing and talking pain
enabled various things.
Um, no shot at my mom here.
Mom, I love you.
Um, she was more afraid.
Whereas he grew up a country boy and he,
and he did the Navy thing.
Right?
So he, he grew up a country boy and then
left and traveled the world.
So when I hit that face, he was very
supportive of it, um, and
enabled those types of things.
Um, so yeah, he was a
great dad, great role model.
So yeah, you do want to level up, you
know, long story short.
Yeah.
And so you want to do as
good, um, and or better.
Right.
Right.
I think Gen X overcompensates in their
parenting in general, because of the
feeling, because of what they feel they
did not get as kids,
yeah.
You know, I don't know if
I totally agree with that.
I think it's, I think it's a combination.
So in some ways for you, right?
You're, you're, and this is maybe, I
don't know if we've even
touched on this before.
For you, it's making up for,
um, what you didn't have for me.
Like I just described, it's maybe more of
trying to do, like, level it up a little
bit based on what I, what I had.
And, you know, even to be honest with
you, it's not like
I'm, I'm, my sister and
I were alone in having a pretty good
upbringing where we grew up.
A lot of people, that was the norm.
Right.
A lot of my friends, parents were, you
know, married forever and together still
they had bigger families, they had
brothers and sisters, siblings.
Uh, they had cousins.
So I had cousins, right.
Um, that I knew and played with often.
Um, and then my cousins
grew up in the same situation.
So I don't know if we're trying to make
that I'm trying to
make up for lost ground,
but more just try to maintain in some
ways, maintain and do a little better.
And I think that, and that's kind of
brings us full circle
of where we started.
You had a completely different upbringing
as a Gen X or than I did.
And so I think that people that had a
similar upbringing as you probably
can relate to what you're saying.
You want to do at least the same.
And if you can improve upon that.
Yeah.
And people who had children of divorce.
One to ideally create
what they didn't have at all.
Yeah.
So, and I think that kind of, that kind
of sums up where we're at, where as
Gen X adulting is we are both coming at
it from two different backgrounds.
But the commonality is
that we want the same thing.
Yeah.
So as we've raised are raising our kids
and being married for almost 30 years
and trying to do this life together, even
though we're coming from two different
backgrounds, there's enough of that
common need to do better or to create
something that didn't
exist that's even better.
So, yeah.
And this will happen a lot is we will
start on one subject and we will go off
many different tangents.
That's just how our communication style
has been for the last 32 years.
We've been together 32 years and I'm sure
many people can relate to that.
So, yeah.
So, um, welcome, welcome into our lives,
our, our world here.
Um, you know, this is the first of many
and we'd love to hear feedback and any
questions or comments and, you know, any,
you know, any topics that our plan is to
just to cover a whole slew of topics,
things from, um, you know, historical
relevance or current affairs, um, plan to
have special guests on probably have,
uh, you know, maybe our moms on maybe
both at the same time, you know,
individually other
friends, our kids friends.
Um, so
multigenerational, uh, topics here.
Definitely multigenerational.
Cause I think we'd like to interview your
mom who's from the silent generation.
My mom's from the boomers and then
interview people who are millennials,
people who are Gen Z and
really kind of get some insight.
You know, I guess this is also going to
be kind of a multigenerational podcast
kind of to two Gen Xers talking to the
other generations to hear their outlook
on issues and current events and hearing
their life stories and, and I'm sorry to
interrupt, but also having a lot of Gen
Xers on because Gen Xers don't, don't,
don't speak, they don't
share, they're not overshares.
And there's so many
really interesting stories.
There are so many
interesting life stories.
So we'd like to have them on to hear
their life stories and
their perspective as well.
Yeah.
I'll throw it out there.
I want Elon Musk to come on at one point.
That's your goal.
Yeah.
You're going to manifest that.
Yeah.
All right, everybody take care.
Thanks for joining us.
Thank you.
See you next time.
Bye bye.