# Episode 11 - GenZ Women Series: Kaya, Ashlin & Vanessa

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2024-11-24T11:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/16162378-episode-11-genz-women-series-kaya-ashlin-vanessa.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-11
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode11.html
- People: Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host), Kaya (guest), Ashlin (guest), Vanessa (guest)
- Topics: GenZ Women

## Summary

In Episode 11 of the GenX Adulting podcast, hosts Kaya, Ashlin, and Vanessa discuss their experiences as Gen Z women navigating life in their 20s. They share stories about their college years, friendships, and the impact of COVID-19 on their social and academic lives, while also exploring themes of self-care, mental health, and the evolving dynamics of dating in their generation.

## Key takeaways

- Kaya and Ashlin met randomly through a Facebook page while looking for college roommates.
- The impact of COVID-19 significantly altered their college experience, shifting many classes online.
- Gen Z women emphasize strong support for one another, fostering a sense of girlhood and community.
- Mental health awareness and self-care practices are prioritized among Gen Z women.
- Dating dynamics have changed, with many young women seeking genuine connections rather than superficial encounters.
- Social media influences the dating landscape, making communication more immediate but also more complex.

## FAQ

### How did Kaya and Ashlin meet?

Kaya and Ashlin met randomly through a Facebook page while looking for college roommates, leading to a strong friendship.

### What challenges did they face during COVID-19?

COVID-19 shifted their college experience to online classes and limited social interactions, impacting their academic and social lives.

### What is the Gen Z perspective on mental health?

Gen Z women are more open about discussing mental health and prioritize self-care, creating a supportive environment for each other.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqLMAN0XwI)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-11-genz-women-series-kaya-ashlin-vanessa/id1764838823?i=1000678059885)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1coqk3qEz3SwwkTKtYtZ3a)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/16162378-episode-11-genz-women-series-kaya-ashlin-vanessa)

## Transcript

[Music]
Welcome to GenX Adulting. This is the
first segment in our
Gen Z women's series.
And today we have with us Kaya and Ashlyn
and Vanessa to share their Gen Z
experience so far in life.
They're in their 20s, so they've had some
decent life so far,
some lifetime experiences.
So I think what I'd like to start with is
how did Vanessa and
Ashlyn, how did you two meet?
So we randomly met on a Facebook page to
room together in college.
Oh cool. So it was completely random?
Completely random.
Well we did, I think you had a post of
pictures of yourself and
you write a little thing.
A little blurb.
And then I think I commented on it or
something. That's how.
Both of our roommates had canceled on us,
so we were like last
minute like the last two.
Like, it was just us left.
And so did you guys already know you had
like stuff in common or had you shared
anything about yourselves before you met
for the first time or was
it completely going in blind?
I think we started like
Snapchatting and stuff.
Yeah, a little bit.
And we used to DM.
Ashlyn still has the messages.
If we go back and look at the DMs, it's
like we sent like four things to each
other and then I was like, so should we
room together? Like we
really didn't know much at all.
Wow. And how wonderful it worked out
because it's a
lifelong friendship, right?
So and then your first year, did you live
with anyone else or was
it just the two of you?
Just the two of us.
And that was in the dorms?
Yeah.
And then for your sophomore year, where
did you guys, you moved to an apartment?
No.
Anyone in Tallahassee, the nine.
And then did you live just the two of you
or did you live with people then?
There was four of us, actually.
OK. And then did they continue to live
with you the rest of that whole year?
Did anyone move out?
We spent a year with the
first like our initial group.
Yeah. And then one of them had left and
that's when Kaya came in.
Right. OK. Yeah. So then enters Kaya.
So that would have been both
of your junior year, right?
Yes. And what year
was that sophomore year?
OK. Yeah. And then how did you get
connected with Ashlyn and Vanessa?
So I transferred from University of
Florida in Jacksonville to
FSU in Tallahassee. Right.
And I had been wanting to go
to FSU for a really long time.
And the day I found out I got accepted, I
called our mutual friend, Isla.
And told her I got accepted.
And she said, oh, I think I
have a place for you to live.
Like immediately on the phone.
That's amazing.
And I was like, oh, no way. And she said,
do you remember Ashlyn from high school?
Because Ashlyn and I went
to high school together.
And I was like, oh, yeah,
we had math class together.
I love her. Yeah.
I think my junior year, your senior year.
We sat next to each other. Yeah.
We sat next to each other. And it was
like lab tables, too.
Yeah.
So it was just like desks.
Like we shared a lab table.
Was that with Mr. Miller?
Yeah. Love him.
Yeah. Shout out to Mr. Miller.
And then I was like, oh, my God.
Oh, I love Ashlyn.
Like I would be so down because I
honestly thought I
was going to live alone.
Like transferring.
I found out so late and it
was like during COVID too.
So I kind of was like, I don't even care.
Like all move to
Tallahassee and live alone.
Like I just want to go to FSU.
I want to get there. Right.
And then it worked out like, I mean, I
didn't even have to think about it
because Isla gave me the
answer right away. Right.
Because one of their
roommates was moving out.
So I also happened to know.
And then it just kind of worked out.
And then we got
connected and then we FaceTime.
Yeah. We got there.
And I remember like getting off the
FaceTime and was like, oh, my God.
We like we really connect.
Did you guys feel the same way?
Yeah, we did.
I was definitely nervous at first.
Just because they knew.
I knew Kaya from school. Right.
But then, yeah, once we did the FaceTime
and then Kaya and I clicked immediately.
And yeah, I was the last Kaya moved in
and like I was the only one that like
knew her kind of and I was like the last
one to come move in.
So I felt so bad.
Kaya was like, I wasn't there to like
mediate it all, but they hit it off.
Yeah.
It worked out.
And so this would have
been fall of 2020. Right.
Or no, 2020.
Yeah. Fall of 2020.
So this would have been
right in the middle of COVID.
Yeah.
So how would you guys say?
Fall of 2019?
No, it was 2020.
Oh, yeah.
So how would you guys say COVID altered
your college experience?
Well, in the beginning when we would go
out to go to the bars, like they,
they, you couldn't really
go like they had a capacity.
So this one bar pots, like you would
normally be standing up at,
but they like put tables in the whole
place and it was kind of weird.
Like they had to like reserve a table to
go drink at this bar that you
would normally be standing at and not a
sit down bar at all.
So then they probably had to
significantly reduce the amount of.
Beautiful service spot.
Yeah.
And a lot of places weren't open like
that first, those first few weeks.
Like there really wasn't like a silly
week, a syllabus week. Okay.
Okay.
Everyone goes out.
Yeah.
No one has like homework or anything.
So, um, so that's the
social aspect of it.
What about, what about academically?
Did it alter?
I'm you couldn't go to class, right?
Yeah.
No one could go to class.
Everything was online.
I kind of liked that they made like a lot
more online classes after.
Yeah.
So I was so better at that.
So I was like great with that.
Right.
So probably for kids to prefer online,
that was one benefit of going through
COVID.
And then you were in a sorority, right?
Yeah.
When you ended that
affects your sorority life.
Um, well, yeah, like I, since I
transferred over, I just stayed in the
sorority that I was in
that I got into at UNF.
Um, and then I, it was hard cause I feel
like I didn't really get to know
everyone super well
because it was all online.
So normally when you would be in the
house hanging out with all the girls,
that wasn't happening.
Like you would just go and
get your food and then leave.
Yeah.
So I like missed out
on that aspect of it.
Yeah.
But like everyone I met was super nice.
Just, I didn't get to
like make those connections.
I bet that happened to a lot of girls.
If you think about it, probably across
the country that, you know,
transferred in or even started a sorority
and couldn't really get to know
anybody.
Yeah.
I think even the rush was like online.
Yeah.
So they didn't have
that, that experience.
So that's cool.
Okay.
So I have a question about girlhood.
So as a gen X or, um,
we didn't really have
girlhood, I would say.
I mean, we had, we had our friends, we
had our good friends,
we had our best friends.
Um, but I feel like Gen Z has a very
strong sense of girlhood.
I feel like, and you can
correct me if I'm wrong.
The perception is, is you guys are very
supportive of each other,
not just even friends, but
just other girls in general.
Um, there isn't a lot of jealousy
competition instantly,
where when I grew up in the eighties,
we were kind of raised to always be in
competition with each other.
But I feel like your generation is very
much paving the way of women
supporting women.
That's at least from the outside, looking
in the sense that I get,
is that accurate?
I think, yeah, I would say so.
Yeah.
I feel like we are like super supportive
until maybe there's a reason
not to be in a sense.
Like always giving the
benefit of the doubt or like,
yeah, like always giving
the benefit of the doubt.
But then if someone's
like, you know, right.
So if somebody crosses a boundary, so if
somebody crosses a boundary,
do you guys have any
issue calling them out on it?
Like, do you feel that you're an
assertive generation or more of a
hesitant generation on that?
Like your experiences with other girls?
I would say personally, I'm hesitant,
but I think that's
just a personality trait.
I can go both ways.
Yeah.
I think I'm more hesitant, but if
something was really like I could say
something.
Right.
So overall though, do you feel, okay,
so when you guys go to a bar and you see
like you're around a bunch of
girls, is your initial vibe to be in
competition with them or is it more
like, oh my gosh, they're so cute or I
love her dress or I love her shoes
or is it automatically like, like you're
kind of, I don't know,
I don't know how to describe it, but when
I was growing up, it was on like
you were in competition with everybody.
So you walked in and
you were just like, okay,
like who's going to get the guys who's
going to get more attention?
Are you guys like that?
Or are you more, is it more just kind of
everyone's supporting everybody?
I guess on a superficial
level, not on a deep level.
Yeah.
I feel like I always look at everyone's
outfit first, honestly.
Yeah.
Like, and I'm like, oh, that's cute.
Okay.
Or I'm like, that's, I wouldn't wear that
in my mind, to be honest.
But if we're talking about another group
of girls, I feel like most of us are
always like, oh my
God, look at her outfit.
She's so pretty.
She's so pretty.
Like we would never amongst each other be
like, look at that outfit.
Like we're always saying nice things.
Yeah, no.
In my mind.
I would be like,
okay, I wouldn't wear it.
But so I don't think
your generation is as catty.
I don't think so.
I don't think you guys
are as catty as Gen X was.
Gen X was, we just were.
And again, we, we were close with our
friends, but it was almost like that was
our group.
And then that's the other group.
You know what I mean?
It was very much a division.
Yeah.
So, and I loved what I was going to, my
point was is I love that about your
generation.
I've loved watching it.
I think together as you guys are going to
accomplish so much because you
naturally have that support,
that support of each other.
Even if it isn't, even if it's
superficial, even if
it's just when you're out
and about, you just kind of all know that
you are there for each other.
Like if you were in a restaurant or
somewhere and something happened to a
girl, you would help
without, you know, without it.
You're just like in it together.
I feel that vibe off of, off of you guys.
Yeah. I feel like we're our generations like
hyper aware of like that.
I don't know.
Men are weird or people are weird.
So like if we were out and saw something
weird, we would, you know, make
sure that she's okay.
I mean, even we did
that with that one girl.
Yeah.
Like our first night of
senior year, she was like stranded.
Oh, I remember this stranded and like
waving us down in the car.
We were a little bit scared up.
Yeah.
We were nervous.
But then we turned back
around and we picked her up.
Her phone was dead.
She was a freshman.
Yeah.
And we ended up bringing her back to our
apartment and charging her phone,
which we were both super scared about
because you just never know.
And we felt very timid, but we were
seniors at the time and she was by
herself.
Yeah.
We thought about the Intella house.
You can never read.
Like the bars were closed.
Right.
Bars were closing.
She was completely alone.
So we were like,
okay, we have to go back.
Yeah.
That's two AM.
So yeah, I was like,
nothing good can happen to her.
No, that's right.
She didn't have her.
Her phone was dead.
Right.
So we just put her in the back.
That was our first
night in our apartment.
Actually.
Wow.
Our first guest.
We said you're our first guest.
We never saw her again.
I had her location on snap maps, but I
would see her on there, but we never
saw her again.
That was our first guest.
That was your first guest
senior year was saving a freshman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's good though.
That's good because it is dangerous.
Well, actually, you know,
that does lead me to a question.
During your college years, did you
encounter situations yourselves where you
felt you could be taken advantage of, or
you were in a threatening situation
with the opposite sex or you were
suspicious of the young men you were
around?
I would say we were lucky me particular,
like me, I would say I haven't been.
In a situation like that.
Luckily enough, but I feel
like we were always together.
Yeah.
And even if we were alone, like we had
guy friends that we could trust, like
I never felt like I was, but we were
smart also where we wouldn't be in
situations or walking home
alone or anything like that.
Yeah.
And most of the time to one, if one of us
was staying in, we would always,
you know, offer to drive, come
pick up or anything like that.
Yeah.
And you guys share each
other's locations too.
Yeah.
So that's a big benefit of
social media, I would say.
Yeah.
Is that you can share each other's
locations and keep an eye on each other.
1000%.
So that's good.
I mean, I think that you hear these
horror stories, especially of young women
and what happens to them at college and
where you guys went to school is a
huge college.
Yeah.
So the chances of something happening.
But again, I think like you said, groups,
that's the key to never be alone.
Never walk alone.
Like that girl that you
guys saved, like she was alone.
So thank goodness.
So we saved a couple of people.
Yeah.
That's good.
We're just always
accountable for each other.
Even like now, like when we go out around
where we live, it's no different
just because we still are
accountable for each other.
Yeah.
We'll share the Ubers with each other to
see and to track each other.
We don't really like
anyone like riding alone.
No.
Like if we're all going out, we'll like
drop someone off or we'll like, we'll
figure it out.
Yeah.
Or you'll stay on the phone with someone.
Yeah.
You hear horror stories.
So it's, it's, it's
especially with the Uber, all of that.
So I think again, your
generation is so aware.
You're just so much more aware of stuff.
And I don't know if that's because of
social media or just,
I know Gen X parents
are typically helicoptery a little bit.
So maybe it's because of that.
I'm not sure what it is.
But like for us, we would go out in a
field and get drunk and pass out.
And our parents thought we were spending
the night somewhere and didn't know any
different.
Like no one was tracking us.
Right.
So we did the craziest things.
And one benefit for us not having social
media is we were able
to do all those crazy
things, but it was very dangerous and
things happened to
people because of that, which
I think our generation probably took a
lot more risks because no one, we weren't
accountable.
Yeah.
We were just like, uh, Farrell.
That makes sense.
Just out and about.
Yeah.
And Farrell at times.
No, I'm sure you guys have not that you
don't do wild stuff.
It's just no, someone
could track you, you know?
Yeah.
Like if you, and I guess for us too, um,
no one could film us doing anything.
That's right.
Like you could totally be turned into a
meme or like a public
viral video at any chance.
And it's freaky.
Yeah.
It could be on end up on Tik TOK.
Yeah.
Like anywhere that does
that make you guys hesitate?
Like I know when we would
go to, um, bars, we dance.
I don't know if you've ever seen the
videos on social media,
uh, Gen X was dancing, but
we dance because no one was filming us.
No one was watching us.
So everyone just dance literally.
Like no one's watching you.
And I've heard, and I don't know if this
is accurate, but that
the younger generations
don't totally dance
because they're nervous.
They're going to get filmed.
Is that true?
I don't think I, I still dance.
Yeah.
For other people, maybe, but
not like I feel like we dance.
Okay.
So you guys don't care.
No, like we did.
The next day I'll be scared.
Yeah.
Like, oh my God.
Good.
Okay.
In the moment.
Oh my God.
This is so fun.
And I feel like we had a really good
group where like everyone would dance.
So I never felt like weird about it.
Or that anyone's going
to be filming you or.
Well, if somebody was
filming, I'd probably care.
Yeah.
Stop maybe.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's ever happened to
me where I was like
dancing and then someone
started like filming me.
Like not a random person.
It was one of my friends maybe, but then
I was like aware they were filming me.
Because we danced good.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So do you think the risk of getting
filmed and posted is more
if you're doing something
negative or bad than
if you're having fun?
Like if you were being a Karen or if you
were being rude to
someone or if you were, I don't
know, doing something hyper embarrassing,
I guess, but I don't
know what that how you
would define that.
You know, I mean, there are like videos
of people that are like
out at the Tallahassee
bars and like making out.
And I would never want a video of me
doing anything like that.
Yeah.
But like, again, I feel
like we don't like do that.
Like, I don't know if that would happen.
Yeah.
But that does happen.
Like where people are
like doing stuff like that.
And I always when I see it, I'm like, oh
my God, they probably are freaking out.
And I feel bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I think our
generation honestly feels bad.
Because the internet can be really mean.
Yeah.
Like nice at times.
Yes.
But I feel like majority, at least people
I know, like when we
see videos like that,
it's like, oh my God, like
is it their friends doing it?
No, it's random people.
Or I mean, with guys, I don't know.
Guys are different.
Like I feel like some guys
would just film their friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like that.
To like end up on
like parcel or something.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
I mean, I guess again, we didn't have to
worry about anything.
I'm so grateful for that.
We didn't even have anything to post on.
So even when I was 14, 15, 16, all my
random thoughts didn't go
anywhere on the internet.
But then for you guys, right, you have
places, not necessarily you personally,
but your generation,
if you're mad about something, people
might post like a meme
about it or like say something
and then it's there on the internet.
So I know like our generation is very
much like, thank God
the internet wasn't around
because it's forever.
So I know for the for the social media
generations, do you feel that that's
there's so many positives?
What's your aspect on social media?
Like, do you guys view it
positively or negatively?
Or what are the pros
and cons in your opinion?
I personally like TikTok a
lot in like a positive way.
Yeah.
Like, I feel like my for
you page is built for me.
Like what I'm seeing is what I want to
see, especially with like reading like
books and everything.
You can really feel
the community on there.
Instagram, I'm not as into as much like
post like once a month.
But I'd say TikTok is more my thing and
I'm it's more positive.
Would you say Instagram
is kind of fading away?
I think that I really use Instagram.
Yeah.
Like younger kids use like just TikTok
and they'll do like
photo dumps on TikTok.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So even the younger kids
aren't using Instagram really?
I feel like I don't need more.
So is Instagram kind of
going the way of Facebook?
I was saying so.
Yeah.
But in like a weird way, like I feel
people that are really
using Instagram are influencers
that are doing brand deals.
Yeah.
Or so stuff like that.
It's very specific.
Yeah.
Or I would say it's just repeated content
that the creators are
posting on TikTok already.
Yeah.
Multi-platform.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like our age group and our like
friend, everyone we know
now will still use Instagram
over than doing the TikTok dumps.
But I think it's becoming like not cool.
Like we're old or whatever.
Yeah.
Instagram.
But we're still going to do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you guys post that much.
Yeah.
I'm more into the stories.
Yeah.
I'll do an Instagram story.
But then you guys don't
do Facebook at all, right?
No.
Unless you need to.
Well, you have for work, right?
But like I'll turn the feature on
sometimes like you can do,
you can post on Instagram
and Facebook.
Like sometimes that's on.
I don't even realize it's on.
Right.
And then I'm posting on Facebook.
But then you probably have.
It's an update to the fam.
Family.
Right.
And then I guess
Snapchat is the other one.
Yeah.
Do you guys still snap?
Yeah.
Group chats.
Yeah.
Our group chats always going.
But is it as prominent in your life as it
was, say five years ago, Snapchat?
No.
No.
And that's something that like they give
you the flashbacks of
my God five years ago.
And that's when I'm like, oh my God, I
cannot believe I was like filming.
Like this.
And even with like Snapchat stories, like
I feel like none of us
post Snapchat stories
anymore.
I get embarrassed if I post one.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh my God.
That is so funny.
I only post on like a
private, private story.
Yeah.
And it's like even then I'll post it and
then I think about it and delete it.
So I'm just like, what was I doing?
Yeah.
So it's mainly TikTok and texting then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For your for around your age.
I just say you guys are
in your early to mid 20s.
So I think maybe the difference there is
like like when we get
together, like if we're feeling
funny, like we'll make TikToks, but
TikTok is more like for
you to take in content.
Yeah.
Whereas Instagram, I feel like you're not
really taking in any content.
Like you're just you're either posting or
like other people are posting.
Right.
Or Instagram is for the
people that don't have TikTok.
So they spend hours on reels, but it's
just the same thing as TikTok.
They're like six months behind.
They're like, did you see this?
I'm like, yeah, six months ago.
I said, yes, I'm I say that too.
So I should disclose Kaya is my daughter.
I was about to say, I say
that to your dad constantly.
He'll go to show me something.
And I'll say, yeah, I saw
that last month on TikTok.
And Nathan does that too.
Yeah.
My older son, Nathan, her brother, he's
not on TikTok and he'll think he
discovered something.
And now we've already seen it.
Yeah.
So now that you guys are out of school,
what is your perspective
about entering the workforce
in your 20s?
What have what has been your experiences?
Your challenges?
Is it what you expected?
Who wants to go first?
Kaya.
Kaya, go first.
OK, I got my job.
I've been working at it
a little over a year now.
I started working like
very quickly after graduation.
Yeah.
But yeah, I like it a lot.
I'm full time every day, 8.30 to 5.
But I stay after a lot.
And I've learned a lot of stuff.
I'm a marketing coordinator at my company
and I went in with like
zero experience besides
maybe like knowing
social media and stuff.
And I've learned a ton.
So that's one thing that
I really like about it.
What would you say has surprised you
about working or the work life?
Like now that you've been in the work
life that so many people
participate in as adults?
At first it threw me off for sure.
I was really tired all the time.
And just like figuring out like your
routine is very tough.
But now I've like gotten it down.
Like I know like I just know like what I
need to do during the
week to like feel sane.
So do you find that you have to be more
regimented during the week,
more strict with your schedule
in order to?
Yeah, definitely.
To what was something that you had?
What is something you have to be strict
about in order to maintain?
Is it your self care?
Is it like if you didn't do it, you would
ignore it if you weren't
dedicated to it outside
of work?
Probably the gym.
Okay.
I just go right after work.
Right.
Because if I don't go right after work,
I'm not working out.
Right.
So then Monday through Friday, are you
pretty much on the same schedule?
Yeah.
Are you finding that you're super social
on the weekends or are
you using that time just
to recharge to get
ready for your work week?
It depends.
I feel like the past few weekends have
been very social, but
then I go in waves where
like they're recharge weekends.
Now I'm volunteering on Sundays.
So like Sundays I have something always,
but I've been pretty
social recently, actually.
Yeah.
So it ebbs and flows.
Yes.
So Ashton, what about you?
I wasn't entering the workforce.
So I've been on like
quite the career journey.
I've started.
There was I wanted to be a cosmetic
injector and then I ended
up getting a job at like
a cosmetic office, ended up hating that.
So I switched to marketing and then I was
working in marketing for a while.
But now I want to do speech pathology.
So I'm still in school.
Oh, that's great.
I've had quite the like indecisive change
my path like 10 times.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's what your 20s are for.
Yeah.
I always see videos and stuff on TikTok
and like just try everything.
So I feel like I've done
good at trying different things.
Yes.
Your 20s are when you figure stuff out.
And it's kind of fun.
Yeah.
I have like a bunch of funny stories
about like random jobs
and side quests that are
really random.
That's great though.
Yeah.
What made you decide you
want to do speech pathology?
My older sister's friend does it and
she's always like talked
about it with me or whatever.
So it's always been in the
back of my head a little bit.
Yeah.
And I think just like kids like I hated
kids for a while, but I
started to like them now
and like they're just like it's just like
they're just like innocent little kids.
Yeah.
It's like being around adults can be
like, I don't know, I
feel like it would just be
more fun to like be
interacting with kids and stuff.
And like actually like, I don't know, it
would just be meaningful
because I'll still remember
like my teachers from even elementary
school and it's like cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
No, I mean, definitely
this is when you go for it.
Yeah.
You have nothing, you don't have a
husband, you don't have kids.
Yeah.
So you should just like try everything
until you find something.
So all right, Vanessa, where
are you at since graduating?
Well, I've just recently graduated.
Yeah, I just recently graduated.
So I've been also kind of trying to
figure out what exactly I
want to do because my major
was not something I was
super, super interested in.
So I guess I'm kind of looking for
marketing positions
because I feel I'm more creative
than I'm not a very,
you know, type A person.
Right.
So something more creative is definitely
more appealing to me.
And I think I've also realized I don't
really want to work for
like a big corporate company
because I don't know, I feel like just
important, very serious
people are very intimidating
to me.
So I just want to be in an environment
where I feel comfortable.
So I think like I just applied for a job
that it's a bunch of
like FSU alumni and it's all
like girls and like something like that
is exactly what I'm looking for.
Yeah, that's great.
Fingers crossed.
Yeah, yeah.
That's definitely you'll
have to keep us posted on that.
But it all makes sense.
I mean, even like Kai, you were saying
you're in your job now,
but things can change over
the next few years.
Like for all of you girls, especially
without being committed to
a person or a family, you
can, you know, the sky's the limit with
trying different things.
Do you find that most of your peers have
gotten jobs easily or
has it been challenging?
Like how is the job search out there?
Would you say it's hard for your age to
get a job right now?
I would say it's a, I don't think we know
anyone that's like really had a hard time
with it, but I could see
how it's more challenging now.
Like there's so even every application
I'm doing, I see how
many people have applied
for it.
It's like 200 people per application.
Oh, wow.
It's a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that makes sense.
Are you working with a lot of kids your
age or adults range?
I should say they recently hired a lot of
people that are more in their 20s.
But when I first started,
it wasn't really like that.
So they're hiring.
That's good.
Yeah.
Like they're hiring people in their 20s.
Yeah.
So that's good.
But I would even say like people that are
older and hiring people, they always like
sometimes they have this idea that like a
degree doesn't matter.
Like you don't need to go to college, but
then when you're
actually applying, it matters.
Like they care about it.
So I feel that there's sometimes like
things with maybe your
guys's generation where it's
like, oh, like you
don't need to go to college.
Like it's all going to be fine.
Like you don't have to have a degree.
But then when you're actually applying,
like you do need to
have something on there.
I think nowadays having a degree is not
even that impressive anymore.
Like even it's hard to even find an entry
level position that's
not asking for two years
of experience.
And so that's the hard part coming out of
college is well, I don't
really have any experience
in the field yet.
So it's hard to get a job where they're
willing to train you.
So they're looking for experience and the
degree is just a, you
have to have the degree.
They're just assuming you have a degree,
skipping past that and
wanting to know how much experience
do you have?
That's what you're saying.
Yeah.
No, that makes sense.
That's hard.
That's interesting that you've, your
perspective is that people
from our generation say that
I've never, I haven't, you know, I mean,
we've always felt,
you know, you should get
a college degree, but are there people
our age that kind of
put that, give that vibe?
Really?
1000%.
Especially because it's like, Oh, what's
his face dropped out of
college and he's, I don't
know, like what?
Microsoft or some shit.
Oh, Bill Gates.
Oh, I just watched that
thing about the movie about him.
I don't know if I've seen,
I've seen like the social network.
What's it called?
Oh yeah.
That's the Mark Zuckerberg.
That's the Facebook one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He went, he went, he went, he went.
He dropped out of Harvard.
Yeah, I think.
Okay.
So they'll be like, Oh, they made this in
their garage or like
this person like dropped
out of high school and look how
successful they are.
Like, but then it's like, right.
So they'll preach all that.
And then when you actually go to
interview or apply, like
it almost is like, they just
assume that you have it.
Yeah.
And then you also need like two to three
years of experience.
And I feel like a lot of jobs will say
like two to three years
of experience, but then
like they'll hire you.
It's just like a weird way to vet it out.
Like they'll put two to three years of
experience, but I feel
like they'll still hire you.
Yeah.
I've noticed that too.
Yeah.
So you feel like they're kind of seeing
how bad do you want it?
Will you come in and just
try to sell yourself in a way?
Yeah.
Or yeah.
I don't know.
It's, it's interesting.
Would you say that the Gen Z perspective
of Gen X is that that,
that we're like, Oh, just
go and do something crazy and you'll,
you'll become a millionaire.
Like you don't have to go to school.
Is that kind of a general assumption
about our generation
that we're just like, just,
just go out there and who cares if you
have a degree or is it
just those few stories about
Zuckerberg and Gates?
I wouldn't say like a generalization of
that, but I will say I
feel that sometimes like
your generation gets not pissed, but
maybe envious to not
even knowing they're envious
that like we actually like set boundaries
and like speak up for ourselves and we'll
be like, Oh, like I prefer this, like
setting boundaries in the
workplace or just setting
boundaries in life and
like not tolerating stuff.
I feel like sometimes like I see on
TikTok, like people that
are older will think that
we're just like not cut out for things or
like we're acting kind
of entitled when really
I think we're a lot smarter at times
because it's like, why
would I do something I don't
want to do?
Right.
Like nobody's like
going to force me to do it.
Right.
Like I feel like we have
more like a sense of self.
Yeah.
And we would care more about like liking
our job and being happy with it.
I feel like rather than
just like, well, it's work.
You're not going to like it.
Like we want to like it.
Yeah.
It's like that.
We're like, we don't want to.
I think it's like I've been seeing videos
of the difference of
like living to work or
working to live.
Yeah.
So you'd say your generation is more
trying to find a better
work life balance and find
more fulfillment in your jobs than older
generations probably.
I think yeah, it's more about like
finding something you're
passionate about or like
you can find purpose in
rather than just like having a job.
So much time.
Yeah.
Like most of your life
is going to go to working.
So you might as well do something.
You actually know.
No, no, it's very true.
And it's very admirable if you guys are
able to attain that.
It's, that's what, it's amazing if you
can do that for sure.
I would say that's certainly not
something that our
generation was even was even discussed
with us and we were never
even taught to consider that.
It was more, you know, you go to college
and you get a job and
you're really looking for
a job that makes money that you can make
as much money as you can.
And then you just kind of keep working,
working, working and making money.
So it is, that is new with your
generation is to look for
that meaning in your job.
So now do you feel most of
your peers feel that way too?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
1000%.
Yeah.
That's cool.
And the men too, not just the women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like it's almost kind of like
breaking like, I don't know,
this could sound so serious,
like the system, like not
following it completely.
Right.
Like you guys are kind of
being rebels a little bit with me.
I don't know.
That's a Gen X term, by the way.
Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like it's just like our generation
will get labeled as
like lazy and stuff, but
really, I feel like we're just taking our
time to make these
decisions early on in our
twenties so that we don't wake up and
we're like 30 or like 40 or something.
And we're like, what the hell have I been
doing these past few years of my life?
Like, why am I doing this?
Like I think it's like we're maybe at a
people can like say we're
lazy and stuff, but like
I think we're more just like figuring out
like, what do I want to do?
Right?
And I can enjoy it.
What's going to make me happy every day?
You're giving yourself that time.
I do feel that, and I've covered this in
one of our podcasts,
that I feel that especially
people are not viewing their twenties as
they're, you're just living until you get
married.
Like you're doing what you need to do
till you get married.
But I feel like the women in your
generation are viewing their
twenties as their self-care
decade, their decade to focus on
themselves, their decade to
do what they want to do and
truly living it and not using it as a
placeholder until you get married.
Would you say that's accurate?
That that's how you
guys view your twenties?
Yeah.
I feel like, yeah.
That's great.
Travel.
Yeah.
The no, because I feel like, I don't
know, I feel like you guys
might feel like this too,
but like the whole idea of just waiting
to like get married and have
kids, like responsibilities
are kind of scary.
Like I don't want them to, and I'm not,
I'm not counting down the days at all.
And I also feel like since it's kind of
unrealistic these days that
you can get married and then
like sooner.
Like being able to like actually like
have like a house and
like start a family.
Like I feel like that's happening a lot
later for people
because of money and stuff.
So it does give us the time a little bit
more to focus on
ourselves rather than chasing.
Yeah.
Well, and the economy doesn't, to your
point, the economy right
now is not helping your
generation or the older sect of your
generation and the younger millennials.
It's just, it's hard to
buy a house right now.
It's just all of that.
So, okay.
So that, that's a good segue into dating.
How is it out there for your generation?
So we didn't have dating apps obviously,
because we didn't have the internet.
But I know you guys use that, like not
use it, but it's, it's normal.
It's not frowned upon, right?
To just go on and scroll
and see what's out there.
Is that kind of normal for?
I think it is normal, but
I, I haven't really done.
I had it for like a, one of them for like
a week and it just wasn't for me.
There's nothing out there.
I've never met up with anyone.
No one.
I just don't like the idea
of meeting up with a stranger.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
Okay.
Do you know people that do use them
though and find success?
Yeah.
Okay.
So you would say some, some women in your
generation, they
enjoy it and then others,
not so much.
So are you guys more old school where you
want to meet someone organically?
Yeah.
Would you say?
And how is the, is it
hard to meet guys right now?
Yes.
Yeah.
I'm taking.
Shout out Josh.
Wait, yes, shout out Josh.
I should have said that ahead of time.
Ashlyn has a boyfriend.
So she's not on the dating apps.
And they're so cute.
Yes.
And you've been together how long?
Almost three years in December.
Wow.
I know.
That's crazy.
That went by really fast.
Yeah.
But you met him in college, right?
Yeah.
Through a mutual friend.
Yeah.
And that's a great
organic way to meet someone.
Yeah.
So that's great.
That's still working out.
So, and he doesn't have
any friends for your friends.
There are friends.
Everyone's friends, right?
So, well, okay.
So for Kaya and Vanessa, what, what is it
you're looking for in a guy?
Like what would be the five top things
that you would, if you
could name five things that
you would be looking for.
He's the high Lord of the night.
Is that from the book?
He's a fairy.
All I know about that is
from both Tom, a hairy stuff.
Okay.
A top five.
And it doesn't have to be physical.
It could be anything.
Have you guys ever thought about that?
Yeah, I have.
But I'll let you go first.
Hard.
I would say funny for sure, because I
don't want to have like a boring partner.
Funny is very important.
And.
I don't know.
But we can go.
I'm not shy.
Is there an age range?
I would say not older than.
No, like not older than like 30.
I like love the like 27 to 30.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It depends.
Like if he's 31, but he's great, you're
not going to be like, no.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, let's put this.
What gives you guys the ick?
Oh my God.
It's going to be easier to answer.
Like if they're too full of themselves.
I don't like and I don't like.
I've dealt with this before.
Of them putting you down, like just
finding little things to pick on you
about.
Like I really don't like that.
Yeah.
No, that's crazy.
If they don't think you're
funny, like honestly leave.
Like that makes me not like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything else or what's cringy?
Or is that the same thing?
Yeah, it's like I think there's a little
bit of a difference.
It can be so situational too.
Like you could get it out of
nowhere for something normal.
Yeah.
No, actually you could really like
someone and then they do something.
And it's like, oh my God.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And then it cuts everything off for
people listening that don't know what
the ick is.
Can one of you explain?
How would you explain what the ick is?
It's just when you're like,
ew, like, why is he doing that?
Like a shiver.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's like, I don't like him anymore.
And it turns you off.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Then there's like somewhere.
I feel like if you really love the
person, it could be like, oh my God,
that like kind of is an ick, but like you
should just like love them.
You look past it.
If you love someone, the ick doesn't
exist in my opinion.
Oh, that's, that's, that's good.
Yeah.
That's actually good.
Or if it's an ick, it's, it's fleeting.
Yeah.
But it's funny.
I guess that's a part of them.
It's like, yeah, that's how
you'll know if it's the person.
That's my top five.
I just want them to love me.
How I am.
I was thinking about the whole time.
It's like, as long as they just like me
for who I am and don't want to
touch me, that's it.
Yeah.
No, that's.
And that's it.
That's it.
That's the secret right there.
You guys just nailed it right there.
That is the secret to all of it.
I feel like so many guys in our
generation like have this
idea of like the girl they're
supposed to be with or like.
Just like an image.
And I feel like that's where like social
media might have like
ruined dating because you're
supposed to like look a certain way or
act a certain way or
like even like unfortunately
clout sometimes.
Is clout still a thing?
Not like after college, but I feel like
there's definitely people in college that
are like, oh, I'm so facey.
And it's like, yeah, it's true.
But I think social media on the dating
aspect maybe has like ruined some things.
Yeah, I could see that, especially
because so many people
use filters or alter their
pictures too.
So yeah, what they're putting out there
and what guys think they want or can
acquire maybe isn't even reality.
Yeah, I think about it.
So it's hard.
I feel like it's hard to be like a
genuine person and like
actually be like genuinely
like trying to look for the person that
you not spend the rest of your life with.
Like, honestly, I look at it as like I'm
not even dating to marry.
I'm just dating for like someone who's
going to just like
respect and love me like
whatever. If it works out, it works out.
But then there are people like Ashlyn and
Josh who are both very
genuine and they found
each other. And I feel like they're like
two puzzle pieces that just like ended up
together. Like I've never
seen anything more perfect.
I'm obsessed.
So like it's weird because it feels like
it's like almost hopeless at times.
But then there's like those relationships
in your life where
it's like, oh, wait, like
it worked out for them.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like they somehow found each other.
Yeah.
So do you feel that the guys, the young
men in your generation
are looking for a down
to earth?
Like our Ashlyn and Josh, the exception
or do you think there
are other Josh's out there
that are looking for a relationship?
They're looking for a
more down to earth situation.
Or do you think that they're still kind
of just getting with
girls and don't really
care? Are they still in that mindset?
Or do you think they've evolved?
I don't know.
I guess that would be
a question for them.
I don't know the answer.
Yeah, I don't know.
But from what you
say, you can't tell from.
OK, so when you think about dating, if
someone were to ask you
on a date, what's your idea
about and this again
would be for this and Kaya.
Sorry, Ashlyn.
No, it's OK.
What's your idea about who should pay?
Oh, I still think they should.
Yeah, especially on the first one.
For the first date.
Yeah, the first date.
And then so then do you think if it's
working out and you guys
are continuing to see each
other then it maybe gets some
more like I'll grab this one.
You grab that one.
I think once you're dating, like if you
make it official, then
of course, like a little
back and forth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For now, are there girls and I'm not
talking about girls that you
personally know necessarily,
but are there girls in your generation
that are just trying to
go on dates to get free
meals? Do you think that our gold degree
or do you think that
they're truly most most girls
are just out there
trying to meet someone?
Oh, well, I was going to say
no, but then I thought about it.
There are some people that there's
definitely there are definitely
especially you got to keep in
mind, we live so close to Miami.
I was just like, that's
what changed it for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
Like we've been there and
like I feel like seeing things.
So like, OK.
Yeah.
So there's definitely an aspect of women
in their 20s that are
just trying out there getting
the free stuff.
They're on the dating meal plan.
It depends what kind
of the date meal plan.
The dating meal plan.
I love that.
That's awesome.
What are you going to say, Vanessa?
I think it depends on the guys they're
going on the dates with.
Like they're not going out with these.
Yeah.
Like you said, they're not going out with
them because they're
looking for something.
Yeah.
Right.
So you think the guys
kind of know the deal, too?
Yeah, for sure.
OK.
It's almost like a transactional thing.
Yeah.
OK.
So no, that makes sense.
They're both in it for something.
They're in it for something.
They're in it for something.
No, that makes sense.
Yeah.
So it's those two worlds of girls like
you guys that are
actually dating for some sort
of maybe relationship
or something meaningful.
And then the girls that are
out kind of having a party.
Yeah.
And do you think there's an
obvious it's obvious who's who?
I would say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you say the men though the young
men in your generation
are respectful of women in
the firing order?
Oh,
Oh,
no.
That was a long next.
I think some are some are.
But not in general.
And I feel like it might kind of be at
the point where it's like in our mid 20s.
It's like maybe the guys that are like
not too respectful,
like maybe that's just them
and it's not a young thing.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Okay.
No.
So you mean these guys may grow up and be
in their thirties and
forties and be the same
person?
Yeah.
Because I feel like the growing is what's
happening now is when
they're supposed to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're twenties.
I mean, typically by the time they're 30,
you kind of know who they are.
Yeah. The frontal lobe doesn't
close to your 27, 26, 26, 26.
I think it's the same for men.
Yeah.
So, and that, that is a shift.
So that's funny though.
Um, okay.
So would you say your generation
prioritizes self care
more than other generations?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The women in your generation.
I think like, yes.
Well, I was going to say, I think yes,
but like in the way
of like in like female
friendships, like I feel like that's like
a form of self care that like our
generations does a really good job of
definitely really, I don't
know, nurture each other.
You're very supportive of each other.
Yeah.
Right.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say men too, kind of, I
feel like it's very,
um, in now for men to be,
you know, going to the gym, not drinking,
working really hard,
like reading self care
books, stuff like that.
So that's interesting.
That's quality.
That's quality life, right?
Quality living that.
And that brings me to another question.
Is your, there is a, there
was a study that just came out.
Your generation is drinking less.
Did you know that?
I believe it.
Yeah.
I believe it too.
Yeah.
Have you, do you know friends that are
not drinking as much?
Yes.
I think even us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't drink as much
as we definitely not.
Yeah.
I think that, I don't know what it is if
it's that your generation has just gotten
more educated on, um, how it affects your
health and the
negative aspects of alcohol.
But I think you're the first generation
in your twenties to start cutting down on
alcohol use.
It's very interesting, but I didn't know
if you actually know people like that or
besides yourselves.
No, we know a lot.
Yeah.
That's really
interesting and young men too.
Yeah.
Not just the women.
Wow.
And so as far as self care, do you feel
that you're, and you
touched on this also,
do you feel that your generation has no
problem with boundaries, setting
boundaries for yourself and with others?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think so.
I think so.
And do you encounter
that with other friends too?
Like,
actually wait, it kind of goes both ways.
Like, okay.
Setting boundaries and what's that?
Yeah.
Meaning, um, you have boundaries for
yourself of what you will accept from
others and if they cross it, then you
keep them as at a certain place in your
life, meaning you have your standards of
the people that you want around you, the
energy you want around you, the vibes you
want around you, whatever.
And, um, if somebody is continually
crossing those boundaries, even if you've
communicated to them, I'm not comfortable
with this or I don't want to do this.
Um, are you, do you have a problem kind
of not cutting them out of your life,
but setting them further away from you,
protecting your peace?
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Yeah.
I feel like I do a good
job of that to be honest.
And do you feel you,
I just like, not even like cutting people
off, but just maneuvering, right.
The situation a certain way.
And I feel like we know
each other all really well.
So we know like not
to bring up something.
If like the other doesn't bring it up,
like we shouldn't cry.
We all know each other pretty well.
Right.
Yeah.
But even with like, um, not outside
people, I don't mean
necessarily you guys,
but with both like outside people, I
don't really, I feel like I'm,
you're still learning that skill.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Cause I feel like I'm just a really
non-confrontational person.
So maybe I'll take a step back,
but I don't know if I have vocalized it
to the other person.
It's hard.
It's hard to do that, you know, and
usually, um, when I was your age,
I didn't even, wasn't even aware of it.
So the fact that you guys are even aware
of these things, self-care boundaries,
all of it, you're already so far ahead.
You know, we were just kind of like going
through blindly and everything.
Um, also I feel like your generation, uh,
really seems to acknowledge mental
health and respect it is,
would you say that's accurate?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that there's no, um,
stigma to talk about it.
Yeah.
And then you guys can
all talk openly about it.
Yeah.
It's actually chasing.
Yeah.
With each other.
Yeah.
You're a good support system.
1000%.
Like, yeah, especially like these two,
they know like some of my,
craziest thoughts I've ever had.
That's wonderful.
Again, our generation, like we shared
stuff, but mental health
was, you didn't bring that up.
That was like looked down
upon, uh, for our generation.
So I think it's very liberating.
Yeah.
You know, for you guys.
So, but I do feel your generation is
known to have anxiety and our generation
had anxiety, but it was not named and it
wasn't acknowledged and no one talked
about it and I know millennials have
anxiety, but I feel like your
generation is very comfortable saying you
have anxiety and being okay with that.
No one's judging you.
Yeah.
Would you say that's accurate?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like we'll say it
like a lot to each other.
We'll just be like, I'm having anxiety.
Yeah.
And it's common anything.
And we're just like, same.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
You say it out loud.
Yeah.
I haven't been in a situation where I
need to tell like someone else like
other than you too, like I'm feeling
anxious or something.
I don't know how it would be reciprocated
in that kind of environment.
But yeah, it's like, just take a step
aside with your girl and
it's a little pep talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is you know what they're feeling?
Yeah.
It feels so much better when you tell
someone too, because
they're like, no, I am
too.
And you're like, okay.
Yeah.
And if they're not, then you, then, then
you're the one that's leading the talk.
And it's like, we're
going to go out there.
I'm this organized.
Yeah.
Do you, do you think there's a reason?
Do you, do you think your generation has
more anxiety than previous generations?
Or do you think you're
just more vocal about it?
Or do you feel that something has gone on
with your generation to cause more
anxiety?
I don't know.
I haven't thought about that.
That's a good question.
Yeah.
Cause you guys have a shared childhood
experience, even if you guys didn't grow
in the same town, country, state, there's
common commonalities among generations.
Right.
And then in Gen Z there's older Gen Z's
like Nathan, you guys are right in the
middle and then like
Dylan's a Gen Z, right?
So all, all those groups have very
different experiences, but it seems at
least with the Gen Z's in their late
teens through twenties, you guys are very
comfortable talking about your anxiety,
even to your point, talking to an
employer I've seen on social media where
people are very comfortable telling their
employer, I can't come in today.
I have anxiety or I'm
having an issue today.
I'm anxiety.
So yeah, I'm wondering, is it because you
had certain experiences, maybe the other
generations did it, or do you just feel
that it, your
generation is because you're
more comfortable talking about it?
Oh, I think it goes both ways in a sense.
I feel like maybe it's a domino effect
from like people that
raised you guys and then
the people that raised
them, like it just keeps going.
Yeah, I forgot the name and then whoever
comes before that, I have no idea.
The silent generation.
But like, I just feel like maybe there's
been like these things with the older
generations of, I don't know, like to act
tough or like they try to act like they
don't give a fuck about anything.
Where I feel like our generation like
does, you know, we
show that we give a fuck.
Like we actually care about things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We like want to be a safe space for, it
makes me comfortable
when I know people around me
are comfortable.
It gives me almost like anxiety if I feel
that someone might be
feeling uneasy about
something.
Like I want everyone to feel comfortable.
Oh, that's really interesting.
And I don't think that's just me.
I think that's like a generation thing.
Like that's like common.
So your generation
wants everyone to be okay.
Yeah.
And feel like safe.
And then like my generation may be viewed
as we don't give a fuck.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I think more tough in a way.
And not very like soft.
Yeah.
No, no, we're not.
Genesis is not known for that.
We're like soft.
No, yeah, we were.
We're the generation that, you know, was
running and drinking out
of garden hoses and not
getting fed.
So yes, it's a different perspective.
But so would you say you guys definitely
more embrace wanting a soft life?
Like when you get married and have
children, do you foresee
wanting to carve out time to
have a soft life?
I've seen a lot of that, the soft life
where you're not always
rushing, always grinding.
Where you have that time just to be.
And your generation will make that a
priority more than
other generations have.
I think a little bit of both.
Like I think.
Hard question.
I definitely want a soft life.
Like when I come home from
work, it needs to be soft.
Yeah, sure.
Especially when with kids,
like I don't want to be chaotic.
Like, yeah, I would
rather relax with them.
Yeah, but I feel like we say that and
then like none of us have kids.
So like, yeah, we don't know.
We don't even know what
the hell is going to happen.
How do you, well, that brings up, we just
had a video we put up
about this, but so how do
you envision marriage as far
as shared responsibilities?
If you're both working, how do you guys,
if you were going to
have a conversation with
your future mate before you got married?
I know.
I know it's weird.
How would you know the word mate?
Okay.
Your future partner, partner, partner
with your future partner.
What would be your expectations of that
man in your life as far as shared
responsibilities?
Would you know how to communicate that?
It depends on if they're, if
they're able to like listen.
So I feel like I would struggle because
like I feel like I
would be comfortable sharing
what I want, but I think
I don't know what I want.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
But I feel like I'd be okay.
Like standing up for what I wanted to do,
but I just have no
idea if I, what I expect
out of it yet.
Okay.
I agree.
All I know is that I want to be the one
to make the decision.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I kind of want to be like, okay,
well, we're both
working or I'm working from
kids.
Right.
Well, that is an important, I will say
that's an important conversation to have
before I get married.
I don't know what I want.
Yeah.
Ashley's a little bit closer to that.
Honestly, I don't even really think about
that because I don't
have to worry about it.
You're more focused on my career.
No, that's fine.
I want them to know.
But I will, my advice to you girls would
be when you do meet
that person and if you're,
you're figuring out what you want, but if
you're both working,
definitely talk about the
domestic responsibilities because that
ends up being quite a
strain if both of you are
working, especially.
So something I know you think, oh, this
is never going to
happen, but all of a sudden
you're going to be there in life.
So remember this conversation because
that's, it's important
before, before you go in.
But I know, do you know anyone that's
even close to getting married?
Yeah.
Someone we know just got engaged.
Really?
And are they in their early twenties?
They've been dating for a few years.
Okay.
Mostly like my older sister's friends.
They're getting married.
A lot of people from Jacksonville.
Yeah.
Two people, two of my friends from where
I lived in Boston, engaged.
And they're all in their twenties.
Yeah.
They're, they're our age.
Okay.
So, so people your
age are getting married.
There are kids that are getting young
adults that are getting married young.
So your generation wouldn't necessarily
be saying they're waiting.
It's just somewhere and somewhere.
Yeah.
Okay.
I wasn't sure if you
guys were all waiting.
I feel like more people are
waiting with our generation.
But there are still.
It's definitely a slim
view that are getting engaged.
Okay.
And I feel like they've been dating for a
really long time, but like some years are
like high school sweethearts.
Okay.
So it's kind of like,
they're closing the deal.
What's the next, like they got to get
married at this point.
Yeah.
So what would you say your biggest
challenge so far in your
twenties has been each of you?
I think like being okay with like not
having everything figured out yet has
been hardest for me.
Like I'm like kind of hard on myself.
Like I want my set job now and stuff, but
I'm not going to have
that for a couple of years.
Like I think just being okay and
embracing not knowing what I'm doing.
Right.
Trusting the process.
Yeah.
Has been like the
hardest part, I think for me.
Yeah.
I have mine now, but I agree.
I completely agree with Ashland.
And then also I think it's been hard for
me after college, not
having my safety net
available within five minutes, you know,
like not having my
roommates and the people that
are closest to me, like I have my
parents, but it's not the
same once you've lived with
your best friends for years and having
that available to you of
just like, I don't want
to be alone right now.
Like let's throw on a movie or just like
laugh for a couple of
seconds, hook something
together. Like that can really help with
your mental health
and just like, it makes
life worth living.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
So I'm excited to move
close to you guys soon.
Yeah.
Are you moving closer?
Well, I'm looking for jobs.
Right.
So once you get that figured out, yeah,
yeah, that'll be nice.
That'll make a big difference for you.
And it's definitely
really motivating too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
This is why you plan like I have girls
night out with my
girlfriends and this is also why
you plan girls weekends
because life gets going right.
And then, but you still need that quality
time with your girls.
So as you get older, you make it a
priority and you plan, you
have to plan, plan, plan,
because it isn't like college anymore
where you can just walk out of your door.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely.
What have you, Kai?
What's been the most challenging thing in
your twenties so far?
Um,
hmm.
I feel like mine is
similar to both of theirs.
Like I want to figure out what I'm doing
with my life and career.
And I feel like I need to have it all
figured out right now.
Like I feel like when I look at my
twenties, I don't have as much time.
Like I have time, but in my brain, I'm
like, oh my God, like
I don't have any time.
I got to figure it out.
But I feel like a big thing in my
twenties and like my
young adult life is like a
difficult thing was kind of like my
mental health and like figuring that out.
I feel like I went through a lot of
hurdles and like I had
these girls right beside me
helping me out and like
help make sense of it.
Because I don't really think I like knew
what my mental health
situation was honestly
before I like lived with you guys and
like could make sense of it.
So that's definitely been like one of the
more difficult parts
of my twenties is like
prioritizing my happiness
and like just navigating that.
That's huge.
And understanding it.
That's huge.
I mean, there's people that go to my age
and still don't
figure that out or haven't
resolved that.
So I would say your way ahead.
All of you are to you're very self-aware.
You're very self-aware women in general.
But I think the generation
in general is very self-aware.
But you know, just just to even be able
to answer that
question with those answers is
you're already way ahead of the game.
As someone who's older, you
know, and you are still so young.
I know it's scary, right?
Every year that your twenties goes by,
you feel like, oh my
gosh, like I'm not doing what
I'm supposed to be doing
or I need to do it quicker.
I need to know.
But trusting the process is so important.
You are still very young.
So so I was going to ask you, I want to
ask you, are there three
television shows from when you were
little that you all
three think you watched even
though you didn't grow up together?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
OK, so what would be what would be the
first one that's for sure all three?
Hannah Montana.
Hannah Montana for sure.
Like Wizards.
Wizards of Barring.
Yeah.
Sweet, sweet lives.
Dr.
Toney.
Hear that generation.
What about movies?
Three movies that you know for sure.
The three of you saw.
I get to generational thing.
The Princess Diaries.
Oh, yeah, with Anne Hathaway.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Like Ellen Chantin.
Ellen Chantin.
She's like Ollie Anne Hathaway.
Yeah.
Even like Lizzie McGuire.
Lizzie McGuire.
Yeah.
OK.
And what about three toys?
Oh, toys would probably be harder.
Bratz.
Yeah.
Bratz.
Littlest Petchops.
Yes.
Littlest Petchops.
Holly Pocket.
Yes.
There you go.
Yeah.
And it's so true.
That's so accurate.
I and I even think of Little Little.
Like I think did you all
three watch Wonder Pets?
No.
Oh, I didn't watch.
I did.
I did.
So what about when you're Little Littles
or one that you think?
Teletubbies.
I don't even know if I watched like.
I watched the Teletubbies.
True.
Oh, yeah.
The Wiggles.
The Wiggles.
Yeah.
The Wiggles.
The Wiggles.
Actually, Vanessa, would you share your
background a little bit?
Yeah, I can.
Can you?
Because it's very interesting.
I should have.
I should have asked you
that at the beginning.
It's a long one.
But so both of my parents are European.
My mom grew up in the Swiss countryside.
You know, they grew all their food, all
their vegetables and fruit,
had a farm, cows, goats, chickens.
That's so cool.
Wow.
And then my dad, he is
his parents are Spanish.
His dad's Spanish.
His mom is, I mean, his
mom's Spanish, his dad's Italian.
But they, it's so complicated.
They met in Ethiopia and got married
there because my grandpa was a doctor.
So then they met there and then they
moved to Switzerland.
And then so my dad lived in Switzerland
for a little bit and
then they moved to Canada.
And so my dad grew up
most of his life in Canada.
OK.
And then they moved back to Switzerland.
And then my dad went to a university in
Canada and moved back to Switzerland.
And that's when him and my mom worked for
the same company and they met in Geneva.
And that's why we speak French at home
because my dad spoke English mostly in
Spanish and Italian.
And then my mom only spoke German, but
they both spoke French.
OK, wow.
Wow.
And then how did you guys end up here?
And then so they were working for a while
in the same company.
And then my dad got a job offer to move
to New Jersey, actually.
And so they got married and my mom
already had my oldest sister.
So OK.
But then they moved to New
Jersey after they got married.
And then after I think only not long in
New Jersey, only like a year or two.
And Karen was born.
And then they moved to Paris.
Wow.
And then they were only
there for a little bit too.
And then they moved to
Memphis and that's when I was born.
And then we lived there for four years
and then we moved to Boston
or the South Shore of Boston.
So we lived in a town called Dr.
Bury and we lived there,
I think, for five years.
And then we moved to Switzerland.
Oh, my gosh.
We've been all over.
Yeah.
So I went to an international school
there, which was a really
amazing experience because
all of my friends were in
the same exact boat as me.
So yeah, yeah, everybody
had moved their whole life.
Everybody was from all over the world.
Super welcoming community.
What ages was that when you were there?
So I moved there
beginning of fifth grade.
OK.
And then we were there until we moved to
Jacksonville, my
freshman year of high school.
OK.
And that's when you came to Florida.
So how would you say your upbringing?
When do you notice the differences?
Because I'm sure it's very nuanced.
But I'm sure you pick up on little
differences between your
childhood or how you view things
and American kids.
So when do you notice that the most?
I would say, well, my school in
particular in Switzerland
was just very such a blend
of culture that it was a little bit of a
culture shock moving to
Jacksonville because everyone
was related and has known each other
since they were born.
Right.
So I don't have a childhood
friend or anything like that.
And that's something I'm a little bit
envious of with people from
here, like even Voca High.
I could probably name like over 100 kids
from Voca High just from knowing them.
Right.
Right.
So I definitely would say that is the
biggest difference I sense.
But culturally, I don't know.
It's very different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you feel that--
was it a challenge to assimilate?
That was probably the biggest move.
Yeah.
And it took us a really long time.
And I would say
academically the most because we are--
it's just so different because there when
you're growing up,
it's like the curriculum
for our school was super focused on just
kind of nurturing, like
being a good person rather
than I feel like the US is-- which I
don't know if it's a good
or bad thing, but is very
focused on getting really good grades,
getting straight A's so
you can go to college.
And that just was something that was not
the case for me in middle school.
So it was really hard transitioning to--
The grind.
Yeah.
The grind.
You weren't on a grind in Switzerland.
So I wonder if your middle school
experience has got to be totally
different than American
middle school.
Completely different.
We would spend our days going on hikes in
the mountains and
learning about the plants.
Yeah.
And everyone probably got along.
Oh, yeah.
We were all like this,
even with the parents.
It was like you create your own family
because we're all foreign.
Yeah.
And you would take the train.
Yeah, we would take public transportation
every day to school, super safe.
The kids there, there's kindergartners
walking across the
street with their backpack on.
It's completely different.
Yeah.
Completely-- well, in middle school here
is like a war for kids.
Just between--
There's no serious fights happening.
Girls are mean to other girls.
Every boy wants to be the alpha boy.
It's traumatizing.
I find--
I think for raising three kids, it's traumatizing.
Oh, I would say that's a really big
difference, too,
between the US and Europe is--
or at least for my experience was that
since it was such a small school,
the girls and the--
we were just all best friends.
Super, super close.
Even to this day, I still know all of
them still hang out all the time.
That's great.
For kids I was friends with.
And here, I would say
it's more separated.
Right.
So it probably shocked you sometimes with
some of the behavior from people here.
Still, I bet.
You're kind of like--
because you came from such-- it sounds
like such a lovely, wonderful place.
And then you arrived in America.
And it was like, bam,
you've got to be on guard.
Well, high school was a really hard time
to come into it, too.
Yeah.
I think that's true for any move, but
then the move from your situation.
So--
Well, thank God I had Karen, my older
sister, and we're in it together.
And that brought us closer, too, because
in Switzerland, we
actually weren't that close.
Because we were just really
good friends with our friends.
Yeah.
Yeah, she was a little bit of a rebel.
Would you ever want to--
would you want to stay
here and live in America?
Or would you ever live in Switzerland?
Stay here just because I'm
more used to it here now.
But if I would have finished high school
there, I probably would have gone to
university in Europe.
They all went to college in the UK.
So if I would have finished there, I
definitely would have stayed.
Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Well, we're glad you're here.
Yeah.
We are.
Happy to be here.
Yeah, I know the girls
are glad you're here.
You have a little family here.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Ashton, would you like
to share your upbringing?
Oh, my god.
Hello.
If you're comfortable.
I don't know what to say.
We have a sister.
Yeah, I'm from Boca.
I've always lived here.
The only time I lived anywhere else was
when Tallahassee for four years.
I have an older sister, Kirsten.
I'm 24.
She just turned 27.
And then it was pretty much my dad who
raised me 11 plus because
my mom died when I was 11.
Right.
Did she pass away from cancer?
Yeah, cancer.
Yeah.
So it was the three of you growing up.
Yeah, it was just the three of us, but we
had a lot of like outside family support.
Like my dad had a lot of friends, like
all of our neighbors
were over all the time.
Oh, that's wonderful.
And then you and your
sister are really close.
Yeah, we're really, we've like gone on
and off with being close.
I feel like we got the most close, like
maybe when she had
graduated college and I was there.
But when we were both in
high school, it was like bad.
Did you guys fight?
Yeah, a lot.
Okay.
Yeah, I can't picture that at all.
Oh my God.
We relate a lot with this.
I just got to experience
what it's like to have a sister.
I see the dynamics.
It's so interesting.
And I don't get involved at all.
Yeah, it's better not to.
Because they'll make up.
So you can't get involved.
No.
You'll be like the bad.
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
So did you know Kya in high school or did
you guys not know each other that I mean,
you had the class together.
I think we were like, I feel
like we knew of each other.
But I don't think we ever
like talked until math class.
And then I think we saw each other out at
like a party once we had class together.
It was one of those things when like,
yeah, you'd like see your classmate out.
And he would be like, oh my God.
And I feel like we were like, hi.
Yeah, like we were like school friends,
but it was like we
actually liked each other.
So it was like cool.
Yeah, exactly.
So big question.
Where do each of you see each other?
See yourselves.
I'm sorry in five years.
Oh my God.
What would be a what would where do you
know, where do you hope?
Where do you hope to see yourself?
Is that 29?
For me, 28 years.
It will in a month.
It'll be 29.
Oh a month for me.
It'll be 30.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Oh my God.
No.
Don't say that.
We need more.
I'm sorry.
I didn't go by like this.
They're gonna drink wine after this.
Okay.
I don't know.
I think we I would like to be established
and happy and confident in my career.
Yeah.
And then hopefully have a relationship.
Maybe a guy a boy or a lover.
And then yeah, I don't know.
No, those are changing.
Those are two very big goals.
Those are big goals.
So that's what about you Ashlyn?
Want me to go to Kaya?
Like maybe like hopefully like engaged.
Owning a house.
Maybe you're buying one established in my
career kind of the same thing as well.
Yeah.
So kind of starting on the
beginning of the adult life.
Okay, same.
But I need to like leave
the country at some point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I need to leave.
Yeah.
So that needs to happen in the next five
years and same thing.
I want to be established in my career.
Have a nice guy in my life.
And then I think
eventually down the road.
I think like the three of us and our
friends need to have
like a vacation house.
That's what was in our dream.
That's great.
That's a wonderful goal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause then when you can
bring your families there too.
Yeah.
Family trips.
Family trips.
Girls trips.
Yeah.
Kid trips.
Have you picked a
destination for this house yet?
I feel like we've talked about it.
We've been a couple.
We've thought about like countryside, but
I feel like we will be
lived by the beach already now.
So yeah, I need to be a little different.
Yeah.
Like honestly, I just see myself swinging
on the swing from the tree.
Yeah.
And just like happy.
I always think about the
movie, the Yaya Sisterhood.
Yeah.
Yes.
You really get the mountain.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's a great.
That's those are
wonderful goals, honestly.
And and this is the time to take those
steps to achieve them.
Do you have any questions for me?
I was going to ask you in the beginning,
like with the roommate
process, how did you guys,
I don't know if you had a random or like
if you knew who you were going to live
with freshman year, but like college.
Yeah.
Because like they met on Facebook.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
And we didn't have social media.
Yeah.
I'm not sure how it went down.
I did end up with a random.
I think that the college gave you the
phone number of a person
and then you called them.
You called them.
That's really scary.
Oh my god.
I know.
You called them on a landline phone.
Do you know what a landline phone is?
And you talked.
Oh my god.
My mom always talks about the landline.
It's like whenever I had a boy calling, I
would have the phone
was in the living room.
So she would have to sit there and talk
to them in the living room.
Yes.
Couldn't someone hop on and like hear
what you were talking about?
If they had another
phone in the other room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could get it real
quiet and then you'd listen.
Yeah.
I would hate that.
Yeah.
And when people, if you were on the phone
and other people called, they'd get a
busy signal and they would just keep
calling until you were off the phone.
So they couldn't get ahold of you until
the person on the
phone got off the phone.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
So in college, like we called and we
spoke and then we moved in
together and she was nice.
She was very nice.
But my neighbor who lived next door is
who became my first
best friend in college.
Maya.
And then I moved out sophomore year with
my other best friend
from college, Kendall.
We lived in an apartment and that was
that was a great year.
So I'm still friends
with her to this day.
Yeah.
She's one of my best friends.
But yeah, it was it was picking up a
phone and and then I think actually oh,
this will this will trip
you out after we spoke.
She wrote me a letter.
Yes, it came in the
mail before you moved in.
Yes.
Multiple pages and then I think I wrote
her something back because
that's how you communicate.
A letter.
Wait, did you guys ever have to depend
how like when you were younger in school?
We did like a fake one.
They didn't go anywhere.
Maybe mine was fake and
I just didn't touch on.
I think I did.
Mine might have been fake though.
Actually, I think mine was real.
I think you know, it was not what's real
and it was before I was young young.
This was legit.
I remember it arriving in an envelope.
That's what people did.
I remember I met on my
senior trip in Mexico.
I met a guy and he sent me a letter.
Well after the trip was
over and came to my house.
That's how you
communicated and you sent letters.
In fact, I think with your dad even the
first summer we after that after senior
year and he was home for a couple weeks.
I think we exchanged letters.
People wrote letters.
Do you still have them?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm sure I do.
Nicole.
Yeah, no, it's definitely not that but
no, it was normal to write letters.
That was how you communicated or you
called on the phone.
See that's one thing that I think is
different with our generations for sure
is we like know what
everyone's doing at any time.
Like if you're posting it on Snapchat or
Instagram or like even just Snapchatting
with someone or texting.
We don't get any letters.
We're not getting letters.
We're seeing that we weren't invited.
W-A-D.
You up?
Yeah, so one thing I've observed about
the social media with your age is it
feels like you could easily go through an
entire get to know you in a week with a
guy where for me it would have taken
three months to get that far.
But because there's 24-7 access you can
talk about everything in text and there's
not there isn't that space that mystery
there is that brain.
Yeah, so it speeds everything up really
fast and I don't know
if that's pro or con.
There's no slow burn.
Yeah, and I love a slow burn.
Yeah, you probably have to work harder
for a slow burn now, right?
Yeah, I don't know.
What's considered a slow burn?
I think I'm in one right now.
No, not with like some...
We can edit that out.
What would be considered a
slow burn for your generation?
How much time to like be
taught like what is a slow burn?
What's a slow burn with social media and
the social media generation?
I think a slow burn can be whatever you
want a slow burn to be as long as...
Okay, so for example, when I read a book,
they don't get
together to page 500 or 600.
That's a slow burn.
So in my generation you
would go on multiple dates.
It would be out like on the weekend, you
know, and that's when you would see each
other as that date and then you wouldn't
do anything social till the next weekend
and you'd have phone calls in between.
But it might be weeks and weeks and
weeks, you know, that was a slow burn.
But I don't know for your generation,
you're talking, you're talking, you're
getting to know each other.
And then now it's like, do you know if
it's a slow burn or if it's just...
They're not interested.
Yeah, or you don't know what they want.
What would you say me and
Josh were not a slow burn?
No, because you were together every day.
Yeah, like we spent a lot of time
together, but we didn't date
for like five or six months.
But that's the right
kind of slow burn actually.
That's the right kind of slow burn
because you're still
spending so much time together.
Yeah, that's true.
But you're not rushing the label.
Yeah, I will be the first to say that is
one of the best ways to start friendship
before relationship.
Yeah, that's how...
It's one of the best ways.
That's really what you do.
You were friends and then you
took that step and that's...
Then that friendship is
always there in the relationship.
Yeah.
It's great. It keeps a
certain level of respect.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's one thing is the social
media has changed dating for sure.
But that's all you guys know.
Yeah, right?
So maybe game for...
I don't know if it's game
or I know Dylan calls it Riz.
But maybe game for your generation, the
men in your generation would
be to do some old school...
Yeah.
... gestures.
Yeah, I think that's...
Oh, yeah.
Bring you guys some flowers.
Walk up to the door.
Yeah, that doesn't happen.
Don't text you, I'm here.
Walk up, knock,
flowers, take you on a date.
Like some old school stuff.
Open the car door.
Open the car door.
That's a big one.
That's important, yeah.
You know, and then maybe send a letter.
That'd be reaching.
Oh my God.
That would be the big move.
No, because if they send like a long
paragraph text, you're insane.
Well, then it's the ick.
So I was like, it's a fine line.
I think that would be the letter.
I'd rather prefer like a
letter form at that point.
Listen, I've loved talking to you girls.
I think you are amazing young women and
I'm so excited to see what
you're going to accomplish,
especially in the next five years.
Your 20s can be so challenging and so
wonderful and it's so many ups and downs.
And you can sometimes just feel defeated
and then joyous and it
all can happen in one day.
So I think you guys are handling this
ride so well with a lot of grace,
honestly, because it's not easy.
People think they don't.
I think they underrate
how hard your 20s can be.
I call it the second childhood because
you're not a kid anymore.
You're not totally in
that adult world yet.
You're in that in
between figuring it all out.
And the main thing is just to keep going
and keep trying things and
keep believing in yourself.
Keep your boundaries and all that.
But I think you guys
have such a hold on this.
So it's and I'm just so happy you sat
down to share some of your thoughts
because I know that's not always easy,
you know, to, to, to have people ask you
questions right on the spot and to be
able to have to share.
So thank you for giving us this time.
We appreciate it.
Happy to be here.
This is so fun.
Yeah.
That would be fun to do is maybe in like
a year, do another one
and see where you're all at.
Yeah, that would be fun.
Yeah.
Well, and the cool thing for you guys is
this will you'll always have this so you
can look back on this, you know, share.
So thank you for coming and spending time
with Genex Adulting and until next time.
And thank you for listening.
If anyone has any comments or anything
they want to share, please do.
We always love to hear from
you and we'll see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.