# Episode 17 - GenZ Women Series: Brooke

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2025-01-28T02:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/16515506-episode-17-genz-women-series-brooke.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-17
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode17.html
- People: Brooke (guest), Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host)
- Topics: GenZ Women

## Summary

In Episode 17 of the GenZ Women Series, Brooke shares her journey as a Gen Z woman navigating her childhood marked by family instability, including her experiences with divorce, substance abuse, and her eventual diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. The episode highlights her resilience, the challenges of growing up in a strict religious environment, and her path toward adulthood and self-discovery.

## Key takeaways

- Brooke was born in 2001 and identifies as a Gen Z woman.
- She grew up in a tumultuous family environment with a history of divorce and substance abuse.
- Brooke was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 14, which significantly impacted her life.
- She has a complicated relationship with her biological father, who has struggled with addiction.
- Brooke's experiences shaped her desire to pursue a career in nursing, specifically in labor and delivery.
- She currently works in the ICU and is preparing to apply for nursing school.
- Brooke emphasizes the importance of self-care and maintaining healthy relationships.

## FAQ

### What challenges did Brooke face growing up?

Brooke faced numerous challenges, including her parents' divorce, substance abuse issues in her family, and her diagnosis of type 1 diabetes at a young age.

### How did Brooke's upbringing influence her career choices?

Brooke's difficult childhood experiences motivated her to pursue a career in nursing, as she wants to help others in similar situations.

### What is Brooke's current living situation?

Brooke currently lives in Delray Beach with her boyfriend, Alex, after previously living with friends and family.

### What are Brooke's future plans?

Brooke plans to apply for nursing school in June and hopes to specialize in labor and delivery nursing.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpFoz-fOcYw)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-17-genz-women-series-brooke/id1764838823?i=1000685993766)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/2NzQdhqeu9tGL8QxUrJt3D)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/16515506-episode-17-genz-women-series-brooke)

## Transcript

[Music]
Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we
have Brooke with us. Welcome.
Hello.
Our first question is
always what year were you born?
2001.
Okay, so you're Gen Z.
Mm-hmm.
You are definitely Gen...
you're like right there.
100%.
Okay.
So she's not a zillennial, she's Gen Z.
Some people put the 2000, 2001, 2002
people into the zillennials,
but I find that once you are
born in 2000, you really...
they seem to identify more and relate
more with just Gen Z.
Yeah.
You know.
I accept my fate, you know.
I think Gen Z is awesome.
Exactly.
I love Gen Z women.
I think Gen Z women are just
such a hope for our future.
So I think it's awesome.
And where were you born?
I was born in Dearborn, Michigan.
No way.
Yeah.
Wow.
So my family's from Dearborn, Michigan.
Really?
Yeah, I'm Armenian.
Oh, really?
Yeah, so there's like a lot of Armenians
there and my
great-grandparents started there.
I think it was them started there and
then everyone branched off,
but I... my dad was born there.
I was born in Michigan.
I was born in Pontiac.
Really?
Not to put it on to me, but I never meet
anyone born in Dearborn, Michigan.
It's like a once in a blue moon thing.
So you're not Middle
Eastern though, are you?
No, I'm a hundred percent Polish.
I'm like the whitest of the white.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So is there a big
Polish community in Dearborn?
Not that I know of.
It's just my
grandparents are from Grand Rapids.
Yeah.
And they're so they're really Polish and
I feel like the more up in Michigan you
get, the more, you know,
the more Polish you get.
I was gonna say like the more like you
get super, super white people.
Yeah, that's true.
You burn in the stun like you step out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So why Dearborn?
Who was in Dearborn?
Do you know?
I don't really know.
I know my parent, my mom and my
biological father, they moved there right
around like after they got married and
then they stayed there, had me and then
once they got that
divorce, they moved to Florida.
So that's all I know.
Okay.
Yeah.
So were they from Michigan?
Yeah.
My mom's from I believe Lansing.
Yeah.
I'm not wrong.
Yeah.
My dad, no idea.
Okay.
Okay.
But somewhere in Michigan.
Yeah, somewhere there.
Did you ever go up north?
Oh, no, you were so little.
You probably have no
memories of Michigan.
No memory whatsoever.
And did you ever go
back and visit Michigan?
We go every summer.
Yeah.
Okay.
My, do you know where Bear Lake is?
No.
Is that up north?
I've like heard of it.
Okay.
It's beautiful though.
It's like you go out there and it's
actually the sticks.
No service.
No, just lakes and then it's gorgeous.
I don't even know how else to say it.
Up north is amazing.
My dad lived on Burt Lake.
It's another random Lake Burt Lake.
I've heard of it though.
He lives in the Indian River.
I don't know if you've heard of Indian.
No, there's like so many little towns,
but he was up there for a few years.
And I think that was when he was the
happiest of his life.
He loved up north.
The upper UP is beautiful too.
I love it up there.
Yeah.
Have you been to Mackinac Island?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
I love that place.
My parents had their
honeymoon on Mackinac Island.
Yeah.
Did they go to the Grand Hotel?
Do you know that's
like that famous hotel?
I want to say it's all white.
I want to say they did and they went
through like they had like some
scary maze back in the day.
Okay.
Okay that they were
hyping up when I was younger.
So Mackinac Island is
absolutely just the most special place.
I love it.
It really is.
So when how old were you when they moved
so that did they get a divorce
in Michigan or want to say, you know,
they did get a divorce in Michigan
and then when my sister when my mom found
out she was pregnant with my
sister, my mom moved us down to Florida.
So I was probably like one and a half to
so what was her decision-making
there to come to Florida?
It was kind of in my opinion.
I think it was just to get away from my
dad, but then he followed her.
Okay.
Okay.
When he went down to Florida with her and
then he ended up moving.
I don't know if you guys
know where Cape Coral is.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I moved to Cape Coral and we moved
to Fort Myers Estero area.
Okay.
So those are like
right next to each other.
Exactly.
My mom's like, oh god.
So when you guys first came down, she
moved to Fort Myers with my
grandparents because they were they were
living up in Ocala at the
time.
So then my mom was like, let's just all
move down to Fort Myers and
then shortly
thereafter your dad followed.
So did she instigate the divorce?
I assume then you know that that that's
the thing that is always
just like so iffy both sides say like I
did and then the other
person's like no I did and I'm like guys
listen, it's not like a
win-win situation.
Right, right, right, right.
But then he followed down and then were
they able to keep an amicable
relationship?
No, never.
Okay, never.
All right.
So then what was your
exposure to him during those years?
So those years it was kind of like he
came around when he wanted to
and like my mom was pretty much playing
like the role as like a
single parent living with her parents at
the time and my dad he
would like it was so weird.
He they tried to set like a set.
Oops, sorry.
The schedule for like with the courts or
whatever like Christmas
holidays, whatever.
Mm-hmm.
My dad would like only pick like what
holiday he wanted wouldn't
tell my mom.
So my mom's just kind of like left in the
dark with that but then
he would turn around and take her to
court saying that she's the
reason that he can't have me on the
holidays when my mom's like
now that's not the case whatsoever.
Right.
Yeah, he was playing a game a hundred
percent to just kind of
sounds like torment
her a little bit exactly.
That's like his favorite thing to do was
just like drive her up
a wall at all times.
Now we're both you and your sister his?
No.
Okay, that's that's a funny story.
My sister is what my
dad's old friend's kid.
Your biological dad's.
Yeah, friends child.
Yeah, so she got pregnant
before Michigan and when she moved
down did her dad come down to Florida?
No her dad if my if my if I remember this
correctly got arrested
shortly thereafter for
I think meth dealing.
Okay, so he's been in
a jail for a long time.
So she doesn't have a relationship
doesn't even know who he is.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, and but she knows of him.
She knows of him now, but yeah
growing up until probably like
14.
She didn't know who he was.
Okay, and then was did you have a father
figure in your life in
those formative years?
You could call my
grandpa my father figure.
I ended up meeting somebody from a friend
when we moved down to
Fort Myers named Lee.
He's now my stepdad.
Okay.
He was there since I was
probably like four years old.
My sister was two and
at first I hated him.
I thought he was the worst thing ever
because he was trying to
be my dad and I was like hardcore.
You're not my dad.
Stop acting like it.
And so it took me until
I was probably like 15.
So even starting.
Yeah, yeah, even starting at four.
You were digging in.
Because your biological dad was making
appearances and those
were probably very exciting for you,
especially because you he
was like a novelty.
Yeah, it was kind of like it made me want
to be around him more,
but I couldn't you know, and so I
honestly growing up.
I was always like oh, I
just want to live with my dad.
Like that's all I want.
I don't want to live with my mom when in
reality, you know, it
shouldn't have been that right, right.
So what during those years when Lee
entered your life and your
dad was making appearances,
did your dad make consistent
appearances or was there a
period where you stopped seeing
him for a while?
Oh, it'd be like like it would be like
you like he'd go like
a year without seeing me and
then appear again and then try
and try and try for like
months and then just give up again.
And then it was like him
calling me late at night being
like oh like when am I
going to see you again?
It's like what who where did you go?
Right, right.
So it's very sporadic and what it
probably created some trust
issues.
It really did for you.
Especially with men.
Oh, big time.
Yeah, and I can relate to
this as I have a little bit of a
similar background.
So did was Lee consistent?
Always.
He never really left the picture.
They were together now at like I want to
say when I like they
didn't move in together until probably
like two years in but
he moved all the way from
California down to Florida.
He made a huge commitment to my mom.
They moved in together.
How did they meet?
My mom's best friend Alana growing up
said hey, we're going
over to California.
You come with us.
I believe if my story is not
mixed up and they went up to
California.
She introduced my mom to
leave from like her boyfriend at
the time.
So they're just like on vacation.
Yeah in California and they
met and hung out and it was
that much of an impression
that and long distance back then
would have been great letters.
Yeah, pretty and landline phone calls.
If I can I mean we're
talking like what 80s 90s.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
I was born at this point.
I was oh, true.
Yeah, we're in the phone.
Okay.
Yeah, I was thinking back
when we were growing up.
No, so you're right.
She's yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So flip phone where you press
the button like three times to
get an A or okay.
So they were at least able to text.
Yeah.
Okay, and then he made
that commitment to come over.
Wow, that's cool.
I know and then was it pretty stable
childhood would you say
with your mom and Lee?
It was they were so I know that the
beginning of the relationship
was a little rocky just
because they were trying to figure it
out like what like Lee has no kids
whatsoever and he was now
getting introduced to having
two kids and he was like they
were just going back and forth.
I believe there was a part where they
were on and off for a
little while there.
But besides that really they
were always kind of together.
It's always been like really
I've known them as them even
when they were broken up.
I would still see Lee at the time.
Unfortunately, because I didn't like him.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, my grandparents.
They weren't a fan of them either.
They thought that he was terrible and I
was just like, okay,
I'm gonna feed off of what
you guys are telling me because
I'm a child as an app as that happens.
Definitely was there a
particular reason though you think
your grandparents weren't a fan.
So my grandparents are Mormon.
They're hardcore to the bone Mormon and
it might all they wanted
was my mom to marry like
somebody who was also Mormon
because there are other
two kids did the same thing.
They married somebody who
was Mormon and when Lee came to
the picture, he didn't
really have like a side to choose
like he didn't have a
religion that he was set in and they
like hated that.
They were like, no, absolutely not.
Yeah, and it took them just
as long as me to like actually
like him.
Right, right.
So were you raised Mormon?
I was I didn't get baptized
Mormon until I was about I
want to say 12 years old.
Okay, but I remember like my
earliest memories was in the
Mormon Church and stuff like that.
Okay, so how so how would
you compare growing up in the
Mormon Church to how would
you explain that to somebody
who grows up Jewish or grows up Catholic?
Are there stark differences
you would say in my opinion?
There was like a whole bunch of
differences like right off
the bat when sure I think
it's like eight years old.
They start like making sure
it's like engraved in your
brain that like you are
supposed to stay at home and cook
and clean and like that's your only
God-given duty to do.
And so they literally have a
camp called the Young Women's
Camp where you go and you
learn how to cook and clean
take care of the house and I
had to do that from the age
of what was that?
I think it's 13 to 18.
You just go to a camp every
summer for like two weeks in
the middle of the forest
and you just like sit in these
like little cabins and you
just try to learn how to be
the proper wife to them.
Where is this camp located?
The one so they have one like all over
this like the United
States.
Yeah, they're everywhere.
But the one I went to was in Fort Myers.
Oh, so not far from home.
So but you didn't come home
in between you went and spent
the night at the camp.
Yeah, it was two
straight weeks of just learning.
Learning had to that had to
have been how did you reconcile
that because your mom
wasn't Mormon, right?
So she was raised Mormon too.
She was she just didn't
follow it very quickly.
I didn't get so the reason I
didn't get baptized until I
was 12 was because like my
mom she was always iffy about
it might my real dad.
Oh my God, don't even
get me started on that.
He was like, I'm Catholic.
You're not getting baptized Mormon.
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
So then I never really we
never went through with it.
But until like my mom went to
rehab then I like, you know,
I was stuck with my
grandparents and they were like, well,
you got out.
Okay, so let's backtrack.
So your mom went to rehab.
Okay, so there was some
substance abuse issues there with
just your mom all three of
my parents all three of you.
So when your parents were in Dearborn
were there substance
abuse issues there?
I want to say yes.
I don't know because I don't I was so
young at that point,
but my dad's kind of always
had a really bad problem with
drugs and alcohol and my mom
was really only I want to say
alcohol and my stepdad was
drugs and alcohol as well.
Okay, and so then when you were in
Florida growing up you
were still you so your stepdad and your
mom there was substance
abuse going on through your
formative years all the time.
What kind of substance?
My stepdad I believe he just
was like hooked on Adderall.
Okay, and you know looking back on it.
It's kind of crazy because I
would wake up for school and
he'd be funniest thing now,
but back then it wasn't right.
He'd be up playing the Wii at like 6 a.m.
just locked in and I'm always like
looking at him like you
just got up to play the Wii.
No, he's been up all night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I'm sure that
was just such a stark
contrast between your mom and your
stepdad and then with the
substance abuse and then your
grandparents were so Mormon
and then being sent to this
camp in the summer to learn
how to be a wife and a mother
but really your home life is
going against everything in
some ways the churches because
you're not supposed to drink
or do drugs light in the church
is that correct?
You can't even drink
coffee like it's very strict.
No kidding.
Okay, no tea, no coffee energy.
I can't become a Mormon.
That's what I'm saying.
I can't be Mormon anymore.
So it's so it's no tea, no
coffee, no alcohol, no drugs,
no drugs, no tattoos.
You can't show your shoulders.
You can't show your knees.
You have to oh, this was my favorite one
growing up as a teenager.
If you have a boyfriend
before the age of 16, you have to
sit down with the Bishop and
explain why you should have a
boyfriend or you should be allowed to
date and then once you
turn 16, you have to go and chaperone
dates with your parents
and you can't have a serious
relationship until you're 18
years old.
And so and then when you have
the serious relationship, do
they assume this is a
relationship for marriage pretty
much?
They expect you to pretty much get
married within the year.
That's crazy.
So how do you think the
religion matches up with society
now?
Do you think a lot of young people are
leaving the religion?
In my opinion, yeah, I mean with social
media and everything
you're like you see like how
other people live and that's
no weird near what like Mormons are
supposed to write and
I've realized like a lot of my friends
growing up that I've
met through the Mormon religion.
They just don't go anymore.
They don't really abide by
those rules anymore either.
So I would very strict.
Yeah, I would say strict you
get you just brought up such
a great point though.
I would assume social media
in some ways has affected the
Extremely as far as keeping
young people in the church.
Exactly.
I don't know if you guys heard about
this, but there's this
the show that just came out on Hulu.
It's called I think the Mormon wives or
something like that.
Yeah, and like the Secret Life of the
Mormon wives or something
like that where these girls are
absolutely not abiding by
a single Mormon law, but they
they call themselves Mormon.
Right.
And so there's been like a
huge increase in people like
saying that they're Mormon but not
abiding by any of the
rules and it's driving like
the hardcore Mormons insane.
And I think I've seen them on social
media like they look
kind of like real housewives.
Right.
I have like five different baby daddies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to say they're
doing like sex parties and they
are.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah, but then are they going to church?
Like are they in the Mormon Church?
Yeah, but so they're just
kind of saying I wonder if that's
just all part of the shtick.
I think you know like the show exactly,
but then is the hardcore
far extremes where it's the
polygamous and they've been
accused of child abuse
and sex abuse and all that.
So you have that sect and
then you have probably just the
regular Mormons who've been functioning
fine and then social
media showed up and you've got a whole
television show kind
of a parody in some ways.
And then you also have all your young
people seeing social
media and having FOMO and they're
probably I'm wondering
how it's going on and
with the Amish folks.
They're really yeah, I've
been seeing a lot of Amish people
start using their phones posting on
social media and it's
like but you guys
were against technology.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's really interesting how and
that's where with Catholics
were just like whatever.
Yeah, you know, if you do
something to my dad, right?
You do some bad just go to
confession start all over.
It's fine and they
drink so it all works out.
Okay.
So you had this this
contrasting life of living at home
with some dysfunctionality, your dad
popping in popping out,
your grandparents wanting
this Mormon life for you, this
very straight lace life for you.
What made you to decide?
What did you say at age 14 you accepted
Lee and you had didn't
have issues with him?
I want to say was like 14 or 15.
I finally was just like, all right, I
don't have a choice.
He's been here for so long.
I guess I gotta like this
guy and my dad was just like so
in and out at that point
where I was like, all right.
Well, guess you're gonna be my stepdad
then like see exactly
except you probably he wasn't
sounds like he couldn't have
been the worst person.
Right.
Yeah.
No at that point at that age.
He was sober for I want
to say like eight years.
Okay.
So yeah, when did what age
were you when your mom went to
rehab?
So my mom went to rehab when
I want to say I was either 12
or 13 and it was kind of
eye-opening because when you're
when you're a kid, you don't really
realize that your parents
have a problem.
You just think like oh,
that's just how mom works.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it took my grandparents kind of
sitting me down being
like no, your mom has
like a real problem.
Like she's gonna go away for a little
while and I was like,
what do you mean?
Yeah, mom was fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was it mainly alcohol you said?
I want to say yeah, I
never heard anything else.
So it's very easy to be a
high-functioning alcoholic.
Exactly.
Especially for women because
we take on so much and we just
keep going going going.
And so many people wouldn't
even know if somebody's drunk
during that time or drinking.
Exactly.
And if you drink enough on a regular
basis, you're not even
really drunk.
You're just kind of functioning.
Yeah, you're yeah.
Was there an event that
happened that said you've got to
go to rehab or so you're
describing high-function.
This is oh, yeah, across the threshold.
So we were living in
Jupiter, Florida at this point now.
My stepdad has been out of
rehab for X amount of years.
I don't remember at
this point and my mom.
She always kept like a huge
handle of I think it was her
drink of choice was smeared off.
Right.
So my stepdad was like that handle is
like almost gone and
like I'm I can't be around
somebody who is an alcoholic for
me for my sobriety and he
kind of like said I hate to say
this but you guys got to go
and he kicked my mom and my
sister and I out and he said
you got you got to figure it
out.
I'm not going to be with
somebody that's an alcoholic.
Right.
So then the next day my
grandparents literally show up
and they take us down to Fort
Myers and my mom's like well
I'm not an alcoholic.
So I'm not going to go to rehab.
My grandparents like no, you
need to go to rehab and then
it didn't hit me that she
actually had a problem until
she started hiding it in Windex bottles.
There were yeah, it was like a real
problem and the problem
with the Fort Myers rehab
was they didn't I don't think
they had a detox center.
So they made you detox at
home and I had to take care of
her while she was detoxing and I'm
telling you it's like
the most terrifying thing
you could ever go through.
Absolutely.
And how old are you?
I want to say I was like 12 or 13.
That's pretty heavy.
Yeah.
So like that's crazy.
She I will never I will always say
there's like she looks
like the devil was coming out of her.
Yeah, the whole time.
I'm just sitting there.
I'm like, oh my god.
She's telling me things like like that.
That no kid should hear come
out of their mom's mouth and
I'm just sitting there like
what is going on like five days
ago.
I thought you're a normal person.
You're like screaming at me
and like holy shit and then
physically I'm sure she was getting sick.
Yeah, she was in so much pain
throwing up and it really broke
my heart, but you know that
that's a traumatic physical
withdrawal from the
alcohol and vodka's boat.
Yeah, but it's a drug.
She also went to the hospital a few weeks
prior to that because
I don't I forgot what the
disease is, but it's when your legs
swell up.
So get like a Deema or something.
Yeah, kind of like yeah, but it was from
the alcohol and they
almost had to cut her legs off.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, my mom was like, okay, I'll cut
back on the drinking
and unfortunately she didn't
so then wow, so she was drinking
that much.
You know, there was a risk.
She could have died through withdrawal.
I don't I think it's supposed to be
supervised by a doctor
when it's to that degree.
It's kind of crazy that they
put you and your grandparents.
I guess in charge.
Wow.
So then she was expected to
with go through withdrawal.
I think it's 24-hour period
and then you just have to then
you just go in.
So like yeah, the next day my
grandparents drove her down
and how long was she there?
I want to say she was there for about
like two three months.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, because they insurance huge thing.
Yeah, if they don't want to
cover you're gonna have to pay
a whole bunch out of pocket and my
grandparents didn't have
that kind of money.
Yeah, neither did my mom.
Right.
And she was spending all
of her money all the time.
Was she working?
She was always in and out of jobs.
Okay.
At that time.
I believe she was working as
like a front desk or like a
wash person at like a hair salon.
Yeah, just to
backtrack for Myers to Jupiter.
What was the reasoning why
you guys went to Jupiter?
I actually oh my stepdad he works.
He works down in Miami and
the Fort Myers to Miami truck.
He didn't want to make so
he chose Jupiter instead.
That's a whole too though.
That's what I'm saying.
I was like you guys chose
Jupiter, but I guess his office
is based out of like Delray or Wayne or
something like that.
So he was like, oh I can
stop there and then go to Miami.
Okay, that makes sense.
Having a lube all the way around.
Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
A quick question.
What's the age difference
between you and your mom?
My mom, she's 49.
Well, she's turning 49 this month.
I won't talk the year
off of her and then I'm 23.
So okay.
I'm not wasn't 26.
Yeah, that's how old I
was when I had Nathan.
Yeah.
So she went through rehab for two to
three months and you
and your sister were with your
grandparents during that time.
So during that time, were you really
immersed then into the
Mormon Church?
It was like balls to
the wall right after.
Because they had you all to themselves.
They were like, oh this is perfect.
Yeah.
So were you going to church every week?
Is it once a week or
is it multiple times?
So it's Wednesdays you go
for like the kids they go there
and they do whatever games
or you know learning activity
that they have and then you go to church
on Sundays for three
and a half.
Wow.
And then is this in
addition to going to school?
So on Wednesdays when would
you go before or after school?
After school around like 5 p.m.
Okay.
All right.
Did you get a big
social circle from that?
Yes and no, I never really
got along with them because I've
never really loved the Mormon like
Outlook or like the rules.
So I was always like the bad Apple.
Right.
Even at that age at 12 13 14.
You were like, I don't know about this.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
I'm just curious.
Did you ever have a point
where you're like, I can kind of
jive with this or were you
always in it somewhat rebelling?
Did it ever resonate at all?
So I was so when I first
started going I was like, oh I can
get used to this and then
once I turned 13, that's when you
go to this young women's group
thing and I went to the first
year of the camp and I was
like, oh, this isn't too bad.
You get to hang out with all
these girls mean girls because
you know, they're better
than you because they know more
in a trip.
So that's going on.
There's a hierarchy probably
and I didn't read the Book of
Mormon. I know I said I did
back in the day, but I promise
you I barely read that.
It's like saying you read the Bible.
Like I haven't read the Bible.
Yeah, I'd see the gift you a
Bible like a huge Bible probably
this thick with like half
fits the Book of Mormon and the
rest is just a normal Bible.
Yeah, and you get these
strings and it's like for there's
like I forgot the list,
but it's like gratitude.
If you like show that you have a great
amount of gratitude,
you get a string and if you
collect all the strings by the
18 you get this necklace
that is like supposed to be like
your pure.
Oh my goodness, but who
decides who gets the string the
Bishop and how does he
notice he have like spies watching
you to make sure who's who's
grateful or who's has the most
gratitude.
So when you enter the high
school years, you have to go to
Mormon school every
morning from I believe 5 a.m.
until 7 when you go into
school and it was it was insane.
I my grandparents still
forced me to go even though my mom
was back in the picture.
Okay, I would sleep
through the entire thing.
I didn't have any of those strings.
I wanted but I was willing
to put the work in for it.
I'm a piece of shit high schooler.
Okay, I don't know.
Normal high school
your normal high school.
You have to like do all my homework.
You want me to also do that?
I'm like no, I where where do you how
where do you when do
you sleep?
Where do you find the time
for everything with these kids?
If they have to be there
from 5 to 7 and then go to high
school.
I can't even imagine were their kids
though that were there
and paying attention to the wall.
Really?
It was insane like these
people would sit there and they the
teacher would ask a question me slumped
out on the desk just
passed out.
Everybody's like, oh,
I know what I'm like.
Okay, wow overachiever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but it's almost
like just wanting that
validation that acceptance and a
competition to see who's
the most the best the most.
That was the best one of
them all right, right, right.
So you had so what was that like 9th
grade that was 9th grade
until 12th grade.
You're supposed to go.
Yeah, and how long did
you go 9th grade 9th grade?
Okay, so your mom say when did you rebel
when I was like halfway
through sophomore year?
I was like, I'm not doing this anymore.
My mom's like, I'll take your car away.
I'm like you can't I don't care.
So she so she returned back
from rehab and you guys kept
living with your grandparents.
Oh, yeah, and least was
still over in Jupiter.
Were they still married during this time?
So they've never been married actually.
Okay, fun fact.
They've been dating for 20 22 years now.
But they're still together.
Yeah.
Okay, they call each
other husband and wife.
You know, it's not on the books.
Right, right, right.
That works.
Yeah, of course, but they
were still at this time.
It was like my mom was so hurt
about him like kicking us out
and stuff because that's
that's a lot to do on her and her
kids.
So my mom was like on and off.
They were like talking but
they weren't together, right?
He was he was like Lee's.
I mean not Lee.
He was Avery's only my
younger sister's father figure.
So my mom was like you can
come and see her you can come
visit her but like
respectfully right distance and then
they ended up getting back together.
So speaking of your sister, how did she
feel about the Mormon
Church?
Was she she was better than me?
I'm going to be honest until
up until probably sophomore
year too.
She just she gave it
her all her freshman year.
My grandparents like
you're doing so good.
I'm so proud of you.
They'd look at me and be
like, what are you doing?
Get it together.
I'm like guys.
I'm not going.
I'm not waking up at 4 a.m.
And then going to school after that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what's the age difference
between you and your sister?
Two years.
Two.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you were living with your
grandparents and your mom's
still doing the Mormon thing through
ninth grade and then
through mid sophomore year still living
with your grandparents
and your mom and how hard
was it when you decided to stop
going to those classes?
How hard was it for you at home?
Oh my god.
Well, I should say like I never got along
with my like parents
or my grandparents when I was
growing up because I think it
was just like with my dad and all that
that other thing like
I was rebelling against them because I
was like you guys are
the problem.
Okay, my dad's not the problem.
Right.
Right.
I wanted to you know, see
what it was going to be like to
live with him and they never
gave me that chance and I was
always so mad at them because I'm like
you guys first of all
you need me to come Mormon.
Okay, right.
I didn't want this but
I did it for you guys.
To make you happy.
Yeah, I hated it.
So then I started rebelling against it
and then if I didn't
go to church freak out and
I'm like guys, I'm over it.
Okay, my all my parents I'd
get in fights with them and then
I'd be grounded for months.
Oh my god.
Yeah, my mom loves
pulling that grounding card.
Yeah, because she even
though she had had a lifestyle of
abuse.
She was probably thinking
maybe if you are Mormon it would
help you not following those footsteps
exactly and maybe it
would give you some parameters to work
within and and maybe
you want to party or whatever.
So she did the complete opposite.
Did it make you want to party more?
Yeah, it did because I was
when I'd go to high school.
I'd have all these friends that were
always going to party is
sneaking out at night or like skipping
school and I was like,
oh, this is cool.
Yeah, nobody does this in
the Mormon religion, right?
I'm gonna do it.
So when did you start that?
What it wasn't when you mid sophomore
year when you walked
away?
Were you doing that?
Were you partying at all before then?
It was mid sophomore year
right when I stopped going.
I was like the worst
kid you could imagine.
My mom was always getting
calls from the school saying, hey,
she didn't show up today.
My mom's like, where were you?
I was like, oh, I just showed up late.
No, I just didn't go.
Yeah, and then sneaking out.
Oh my god, the amount of
times my grandpa would wake up the
middle of the night check
my room and I wasn't there.
Oh boy.
So you were hanging
out with your friends.
Yeah, partying.
Yeah, we would just sneak over to this
one person's house always
because their parents were
just kind of like the same.
They just didn't care.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was the same thing all the time.
And would you say so you would say that
was a big rebellion.
A huge rebellion.
Yeah, not just against being in the
church, but also about
them not letting you live with your dad.
Would you say just kind of
all culminated in that moment of
your life?
It was like everything.
I was kind of taking everything that
happened to me as like
a child and as like a teenager and I
bundled it all up into
one and was like you guys are right,
right, right and I'm
getting it.
So was it just drinking?
I started.
Yeah, it was drinking at first and then I
started smoking weed
when I was a teenager.
I don't do that anymore.
Cause it's just I have anxiety, right?
I think that happens to pretty much
everyone wants to become
an adult like I'm
overthinking everything.
I have to stop this.
I'm sitting there.
I'm like, oh god, even if you have the
most perfect life, you
find something you need to worry about.
It's an adult.
Exactly.
You fixate.
So yeah, it was it was just I
was huge on smoking weed me and
my friend Sammy.
I would just always just get
caught by my mom and she'd be
like guys, you need to get it together.
You guys are glazed over and I
was like, you're the problem.
So did that go on for
the rest of high school?
Honestly, I think it only so
the problem here was my mom.
Well, I shouldn't even say my mom.
My mom wasn't at the house at the time,
but the reason why I
had to get moved back up to
Jupiter my sophomore year.
The reason why I had to, you know, stop
going to Mormon school
or whatever.
I decided it was a great idea
to sneak 11 people in my house
in the middle of the night.
Thought I wasn't going to get caught.
Right.
Great, great idea.
Best part is we were just
sitting around watching a movie
and my mom's room
because she was out of town.
So I was like, oh, this is perfect.
They're not going to check in here.
Movie ends, whatever
grandpa walks in the door, right?
When the movie ends, I'm
like, oh, no, my grandpa loses his
mind.
People are like, oh, oh my gosh.
So then my grandpa
goes, I'm done with you.
Like your mom's going to talk to you in
the morning and we're
going to figure something out and
literally like three days
later, I was moved just to do.
Yeah, it was just me and my
old were you then at this point.
So I'm in sophomore year.
So I'm about 15, 16.
So you and your sister?
No, my sister stayed in Fort
Myers with my grandparents and
I got moved up to live with my stepdad
and and where'd your
mom?
She well, she started
traveling for work after she got out
of rehab.
She got like a really
good job and everything.
Okay, she was never really home except
for like the weekends.
Okay, so she would stay in Fort Myers
most of the time because
the airport's right there.
Just get okay.
So wow, so wild because your
stepdad had no parental rights
to you.
Right.
Now, so did you feel?
Did you feel abandoned a little percent?
Oh, I rebelled even harder when I moved.
Yeah, because did you
feel abandoned by your mom?
I did.
It was like you're throwing
me out and making me live with
somebody who I still hate.
Right at that time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I have to
live by myself with him.
I was like, you're really just screwing
me over when in reality
is probably for the best
because I was going crazy.
It was sober, right?
He was.
Yeah.
And that was that that was
always the issue with them.
It was like you have to stay sober
because you're gonna end
up just like me growing up.
It was just like the same
thing and I'm like, I get it.
Okay, it definitely runs in my family.
Right.
But it's like I'm a kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you have no your ability to look
ahead and see the big
picture is not even
developed at that point.
Exactly.
Every day is every day.
There's nothing beyond that day.
I'm not looking down the line.
No, I'm gonna get married to
this person in this and no, not
not unless you're in the
Mormon Church to get to there in
the Mormon Church.
Exactly.
So how did Lee feel
about that bringing you in?
He he set some very strict rules.
It was like I think it was 9 p.m.
Your phone is in my hand.
You're not allowed to have
your phone at night because he
knew I would sneak out.
And it was I wasn't allowed to drive my
car unless I he like
knew where I was going.
He made me ride my bike to school.
Actually, no way I had to ride my bike
even in a really hot
Florida weather.
I rode my bike in the down
pouring rain and he was like,
I'm just you know,
that's your responsibility.
You just rule.
Oh my gosh.
It was terrible.
I was so embarrassed to hate
him even more though because
I'm like, you're like
the new kid at school.
I was gonna say you're in a new school.
What did you start a
junior year at the school?
So this would be mid
sophomore year and you had to start
a new school.
So how was that?
I school.
How was that transition?
It was really hard.
But the only thing that like
worked was because I did go
to like elementary like late
elementary school and early
middle school in Jupiter.
True.
You would live there.
I knew a whole bunch of people.
They just didn't remember me.
Right.
Because I just left randomly.
Right.
Because we had pretty much pick up
everything and leave
after Lee kicked us out.
When I came back, I really
was like, where did you go?
And I'm like, oh, I really
wished you didn't remember me.
Did you rekindle
friendships with those same kids?
A little bit.
It was it was like certain
people I started hanging out
with and then I realized real quick.
It was the wrong people
because they were all like super
crazy and it was weird.
Once I moved to Jupiter, I
was like, I need to dial back
for a second.
I don't want to, you know,
get kicked out of here because
then where do I go?
You know, I mean, right?
God forbid that happened.
So then did you kind of stop
partying a bit or I did and
then I started hanging out
with like the old my old friends
that I would hang out with and I never
really drink though.
I was just kind of like the person I
would sit around watch
everybody drink.
So I'd be at a party.
I would just kind of
be like, I know better.
I'm gonna get grounded.
Right, right.
So their tactic as harsh as it was.
It did work.
It did work.
And so you weren't really drinking but
you were still socializing
and you and Lee I assume were kind of
mending your relationship
a little bit or was it rough?
It was like it was rough
for the first couple months.
I was over it because I was
like, dude, you're treating me
like a like a child.
I'm like, I get it.
I am a teenager, right?
I did mess up a lot.
You should take my phone at night.
But I was like 9 p.m.
Really?
Yeah, that's early.
That is early.
So what about your biological father?
Was he still popping in
and out during these years?
Yeah, this was like right
around the time when he heard
I moved one that I got shipped all the
way back to Jupiter that
he was like heavy texting me calling me
all the time late at
night to when he usually
would be drunk and high.
He would call me and just
be like, oh, this is perfect.
We can like get you to move in now
because like he's not your
biological father.
So he has no parental rights and like
that I just feeding all
this stuff into me and I
was like, you know what?
You're right.
You know, for the longest time and then
one day it actually worked.
I this was the craziest thing I've ever
done and I regret it every
day, but I literally tricked my mom into
thinking I was coming
down to visit her for
the weekend in Fort Myers.
I had all my stuff packed in
a backpack and I got to the
Fort Myers house.
Nobody was there.
My my friends were there and they drove
me all the way to my
dad's house and that was it.
I moved I snuckily moved in.
So this is still sophomore year.
Yeah, this was the end of sophomore year.
Also a lot happened in my sophomore that
second semester of sophomore
year.
You squeezed a lot of
life into that time.
Wow.
So you really weren't
with lead that long.
No, because that's really January to May.
Yeah.
So did you drive from
Jupiter to Fort Myers?
Yeah, I drove my well, my
mom left her car in Jupiter.
So then I was like, oh perfect.
I'll drive it and drop it off at her
house in Fort Myers and
then my friends will be there
to pick me up and take me over
to Cape Coral to go live with
my dad and your dad knew you
were coming.
My dad a hundred percent knew
and he was like she can call
the cops.
I'm I'm still your biological father.
Yeah.
So how was it when you got there?
I mean, when was the
last time you had seen him?
Oh my god at that point.
It was probably I think I
saw him on one of my trips to
Fort Myers previously.
So it was like probably like six months.
Okay.
It was just like we went to
lunch really quick and caught
up and then I left.
So okay, that was that was the
first time I saw him in a long
time was that lunch at Chili's
was like, oh, I can even tell
you.
I'm sure I'm sure that did he have a room
for you and everything?
Yeah.
Well, he made me sleep on the couch for
the first couple nights
because the room that was
mine was like the storage room.
So he moved all the stuff out
and then I finally had a room.
But right off the get-go
was a really rocky start.
My mom was calling me begging me to come
back and I was like,
no, you shipped me away.
I did.
I told you I didn't want to be shipped
away and she was like,
this is for your own good.
You're doing this so wrong.
Da da da da da.
And I was like, no, you're wrong.
I finally get what I wanted.
I get to live with my dad.
Yeah.
Went south so quickly though.
What made it go south?
What do you think?
My dad's drug and alcohol problem.
He wasn't sober, right?
No, no, he's not been sober.
Not a day in.
Still today.
Oh, still to this day.
Okay.
Hardcore party or at five years old
drugs, not just alcohol.
Yeah, it was like when I got over to his
house, he would be like
drinking out of a handle a fireball at
all times and just like
doing so much cocaine and him and his
wife at the well, they're
still married.
But like his wife would do it all the
time and just like not care
what anybody thought about them.
And I was just like,
okay, you do your thing.
And I always stayed away
from like that whole thing.
And then one night I invited my friend
Sammy over to come sleep
over at his house.
I was like, this is cool.
Look, I'm finally living
at my dad's house, right?
Yeah.
And he let us drink, drink, drink,
whatever and we did and then
the next morning I woke up and I could
tell something was off
and he was it was 6 30 in the
morning and he's sitting there
with a bud light in his hand just still
drinking and I'm like,
something's weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So shortly after that, Sammy came over
again, like probably a
week later and that's
when everything hit the fan.
Kind of he was already drunk.
It was 4 p.m.
And me and Sammy walk in the
door and he just like looks at
my friend Sammy and says, there's
something off about you.
I feel like you're
being too faced right now.
I feel like you're about to do something
and my my friends like
what?
Yeah, we're just here to hang out.
Trip.
He's just tripping out and
and I'm like looking at my dad,
calm down.
Everything's funny.
He's like, no, her mom's a cop.
I know what's going on
here and I was like, what?
He literally starts charging at her pin
like gets her in a corner
and I'm like, oh my god.
I'm screaming at him and my friend Sammy
screaming and crying.
I'm like, oh my god.
Oh my god.
This cannot be happening.
She luckily runs out the
front door all the way across the
street to a Lowe's sits
in the front parking lot.
Now I'm in the corner.
My dad's got me in the corner.
I'm like, what are you gonna do?
I literally looked at him.
I said fucking hit me.
I dare you.
Yeah, and he was
like, no, I won't do that.
I'm just gonna sit here and I was like,
like you're freaking
me out and I like snuck under
his arm ran to the bathroom,
lock the door.
He bust the door down
and he gets in my face.
He's like, you're just
like your fucking mother.
Like you're a piece of shit.
I'm like looking at him.
Like I didn't do anything.
I came home from picking Sammy up and
you're looking at me
like I just committed like arson.
Right, right, right.
And so we Sammy and I came
up with this plan after like
that all settled and I hid
in my room for the rest of the
night where she was I mean,
she was going to send one of
her friends to come like
hang out with me for the day and
we were going to get me out
of my dad's house and that's
exactly how it happened the next day.
Oh my gosh.
Are you and Sammy still friends?
Was she a friend from Fort Myers?
Yeah, we've been
friends for like 10 years now.
We played softball together.
Okay.
Yeah, so I was going to say
when you went to Cape Coral,
did you go to school there?
I went to another new school.
Yeah, I went to five
different high schools.
Okay.
Yeah, I was always a new kid.
I was used to it.
Oh man, that's rough.
Yeah, so but he
didn't hit you or anything.
No, never never ended up hitting me.
Thank God.
So where did you go?
I went back to my grandparents.
I was funny enough and did
they know what did your mom
know what happened?
My mom was my mom and Sammy
had planned this whole thing
together and Sammy just kind
of was like telling me because
my mom and I weren't
really speaking at that time.
Yeah.
So then once you got home,
did you ever see your dad again?
Or so the unfortunate part
was I realized I left my school
laptop at his house and I was
like, okay, we have to go back
there, but this is
going to go really south.
So we're going to get
some police involved, right?
Okay.
So the police we all drive over there.
The police escort me inside
and I get my laptop and I grab
everything else that I
forgot and as I'm walking out, he
looks at the cop because yeah, I just
want to let you know
if she ever steps foot on my
property again, I'm going to
put a bullet in between her
eyes and the cops were like,
you know, that's a threat, right?
Like you're playing dumb right now.
And then the cops and then
my dad's like, I'm just saying
I'm just being honest.
The cops like, do you have a gun?
He was like, not for you to see.
I'm like, dude.
Oh my goodness.
Wow.
That was the last
time I've ever seen him.
Is that the last time you saw your dad?
Oh my goodness.
So have you unpacked that?
Because the trauma of that there's love.
There's a level.
It is heavy.
It took me a while to be
like, like get over it.
Like now I'm totally fine.
You're okay.
Yeah, you've unpacked it.
Yeah, you've settled it and
because that is especially at
that age and and what a
blow to have spent most of your
childhood just wanting to
live with him because you thought
that was the answer to fix
everything that everything was
wrong and he's the answer
and that he ends up being more
horrible than everything else combined.
Exactly.
I mean, what a blow at that age.
Like the biggest
asshole ever to my parents.
I was like, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, but you wouldn't have known that.
No, no, you kind of
find it out for myself.
Absolutely.
You were the child and it's not like
everything was wonderful.
You know, puppies and
kittens at your mom's house either.
You get a pass as a kid.
Yeah, you know, that's something if you
have children, that's
something you'll learn is the
adults are the ones that are
supposed to be in charge.
Yeah, you know, so it's because for you
it was too very unstable
situations and then your
grandparents trying to bring
stability in but with the Mormon Church.
Exactly.
So which is like hyper stability on
steroids, you know, so
it's almost like you
didn't really have that to me.
It's tell me if I'm wrong.
It's sounding like you didn't
really have a solid foundation
to stand on anywhere.
No.
So you were just kind of
grinding and surviving trying to
figure out what is the right
move because I feel like every
move I made was the wrong one.
Right.
So it's just kind of like I finally like
set in after all that
where I was like, all right, I kind of
have to sit back and
let them take the reins
because they might not be wrong.
Okay, so what age would you say that was
then without software?
You are we still in sophomore year?
We're at the end of sophomore year.
What year was this?
I would would you say back
2016 2017 2017 2018 probably.
Yeah, we would be in 2018
now because I started sophomore
year 2017.
So 2018 so that year you need to write
that down on a piece
of paper and burn it.
That's the year to burn.
Honestly, I have a question though.
You're you're young.
How did you get through that?
So how are you so okay with
it at such a young age like I'm
blown away.
I'm it's admirable.
You know, it's it's awesome.
Absolutely.
You know, it's funny Nate asked me the
same thing because I
don't know.
I think it was because you know, I've
always kind of had to
like grow up really quickly.
Like when my parents went to rehab and it
was just my grandparents.
I always had to like make
sure my sister was taken care of.
She was up for school
and all this other stuff.
So I kind of like taught myself how to
cope with things way
easier than most people
because I tried therapy.
I tried so many therapists.
They always told me that my family was
crazy and I was like,
thank you.
I knew that but I need
like actual guidance.
They were like try grounding yourself.
I'm like, okay, this isn't working.
Seriously.
They then they put me on antidepressants.
Oh my god.
Those things are terrible.
It literally so I used to have
really bad panic attacks after
that whole thing
happened with my dad, obviously.
And so they put me on any depressants.
They're like, oh this will
help and I was like, okay cool.
No, you can still feel
yourself having a full-blown panic
attack.
You're just not expressing it.
You're just sitting there
like shaking and you're like, oh
my god, but like you're like close a
cucumber on the outside.
But on the inside
you're freaking out exactly.
How long were you on an antidepressant?
About six months.
Then I was like, I can't do it anymore.
Okay.
Was it hard to go off?
No.
So you didn't have any
physiological issues going on.
I think it was because I was so on and
off with it in the first
place.
I would purposely forget to take it.
Yeah.
Just because I was like, I
want to feel something here.
Yeah, absolutely.
So you also growing up then played a
parental role for your
sister too.
So you were, yeah, I
mean, I'm sure you're coping.
Did you have any other
coping mechanisms besides when you
drank alcohol and you went
through period smoking weed?
I don't think you, that was
necessarily a coping mechanism.
That was just the phase.
That was a phase like in freshman year
just to rebel against
like the Mormon thing.
And I honestly, I stopped smoking weed
after I left my dad's
house because I was like,
I do not want to end up.
I did not want to end up like him.
I was like, no, hell no.
I don't care if it's
just weed like right.
First of all, this man when I
told him I smoked weed started
bawling his eyes out crying
on the floor and he was like,
he's like, you're going to hell like
you're a piece of shit.
I'm like, okay, mister.
Talk about mixed messages.
Did you have co you
must have had some coping?
Mechanisms to get to
get through all that.
I really don't like I don't
remember how I like got through
it as a kid.
I think it was just kind of I kind of
always taught myself
like push it down.
Okay, and so it all comes down.
That's a coping mechanism.
Yeah, I would throw my temper
tantrums like if I just kept
pushing stuff down next thing
you know, I'm blowing up just
like crying and letting
everybody have it and they're
like, whoa.
Yeah, it's the balloon.
You're letting the air fill
the balloon and then it pops
exactly and then you start over again.
It's a cycle.
So and because even if we
mentally don't resolve things
our body will one way or another
something's going to
happen.
So whether it's we lose it or we talk
about it, but something's
going to happen.
So that was and you were
probably in fight or flight.
Oh, yes of your life.
Oh, yeah, always.
Yeah, it was like I always had anxiety.
I was never safe.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, you never felt safe.
So do you feel you have
downshifted and you're not in
fight or flight at this
point in your 20s or do you still
are you still trying
to shake some of it off?
I feel like at this point, I'm like
pretty okay with with
everything.
I can't even like I talk
about it so much that I feel like
that's another coping mechanism.
100% my friends think it's
hilarious that I will literally
will be a drunk at a bar and I'll be
like, I'm like guys,
let me tell you about this
one time that happened when I
was five years old and they're like,
you're just okay with
that.
They're looking at me
like, Brooke, that's not okay.
I'm like, it's funny, isn't it?
They're like, I'm terrified of you.
Well, I'm sure part of your
coping was disassociating.
Yeah, it was associating
and laughing about it thinking
it's funny when it's really not.
Yeah, it's survival.
It's survival.
So you got through
high school, graduated.
I graduated a year early
because I went to so many high
schools.
I was like, I'll take the last my last
year year as my junior
year.
So I graduated in 2019.
So after that terrible
sophomore year, I finally graduated
the next year and I was
like, oh, that's great.
I know though because it's
like another high school.
You probably didn't feel completely
connected to any high
school where you're like,
oh, I really want to go to prom
or I want to attend the graduation.
I was so over it as you had
been bumping around so much.
So you must have gotten decent grades
then or test it out.
So no, no, my high school.
I might my GPA before I you know, my
junior year was like
a 2.2.
Like I failed out of so many classes
because again, I was
skipping so much as in Fort Myers.
I was like, I don't
care what's happening.
So what had happened was is
I would stay after school and
from so school ended around like 240.
I would stay until about 7 p.m.
and just work on schoolwork
every single day and I would
take all the classes that I
that I failed and I'd retake
them and I would but
they were all online.
You could just cheat in reality.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
So mute that out.
Yeah, that's a public system.
So you were determined just to be done.
I just wanted it over with you.
And so what was your
motivation to graduate so early?
Did you have a next step or
plan or your idea was just I
got to stop I can't
be doing this anymore.
I can't be in high school anymore.
High school was the
worst years of my life.
So I was just like I want this done.
I'd rather be sitting at home.
Yeah, yeah, going to
this school every day.
But right when I graduated my
mom like shoved college down
my throat and I was like put
a pin in that right, right.
We're gonna save that for a
later date, but I tried to go
and I failed out of my first semester of
college and my mom's
like, what are you doing?
And where did you go?
So I go to I still go
to Palm Beach State.
Okay, my first year I went
there and I took like the basic
classes purposely failed all
of them because I was like,
I don't want to go to school.
Yeah, I just got out of this.
I don't want to do this again.
My mom was pissed.
So over in Fort Myers, no,
no, and Palm Beach State.
So I didn't know if they
have different campuses.
I didn't know if they
had a campus over there.
So okay.
So you graduated and moved here.
I was already here.
I was at Jupiter High
School when I see you were in
Jupiter High School.
Yeah, there's a mix there
because I went back to Fort
Myers.
My mom wouldn't let me stay there.
So she shipped me back to you.
Okay.
So after you left your dad's, yeah, true.
We miss this.
We miss the period here.
So you left your dad's and you went back
to Lee's in Jupiter.
So you finished that you did
that whole graduating early at
Jupiter High School.
Yeah.
And then your mom
wanted you to go to college.
So then were you driving from
Jupiter to here every day when
you were doing Palm Beach State?
So I went to the Palm
Beach Gardens campus.
Okay.
And so it wasn't that
terrible of a drive.
But yeah, I would go there try my best.
And when I kept saying I was
failing, I was like, you know,
what?
I'm not going to I'm not
going to keep doing this.
So then I told my mom
like I'm going to take a gap.
I was like, I need a
break from everything.
I just want to work and figure
it all out and she wasn't okay
with it.
And I think it was because
it was also during COVID.
So nobody was doing anything.
Yeah, we were all just
sitting around and I was like, yeah,
I just want to sit around too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You deserve a break.
Yeah, exactly.
Quite frankly.
Yeah.
So did you work during COVID
or I did I worked at Alehouse?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So when well in
Florida opened up so quickly.
So really we were you're
probably just not working for
what two months.
Maybe.
Oh, no, I still had to work.
They've made you do to goes at
Alehouse, but you were making
such good money.
Right.
That you were working.
So which is the Jupiter Alehouse.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
I forgot that we would
do takeout for every.
Remember that was the whole thing.
Yeah.
It was to help keep
restaurants and business and stuff.
Yeah, we participated in that.
So you worked at Alehouse.
Was that for like your gap year?
That was like, oh, so that was for about
the entire gap year.
And then well, I had a
boyfriend at the time and he was one
of those people that was
like, I'm not going to college.
I don't care about school.
I'm just going to work in the restaurant
the rest of my life.
So I think that was also the
other thing that was making it.
So like I didn't want
to do anything else.
Yeah.
So I was kind of feeding
off of that for a while.
And then one day I just woke
up like when I was still working
at Alehouse, I was like, yeah, I don't
want to be in the restaurant
for the rest of my life.
So then that's when I started
going back to school taking it
a little seriously.
I'd only take like two classes not
because I was like if I
take a full load, I know I'm just going
to mess something up.
Yeah.
So then I just started taking
like basic classes past him.
Felt great and he would
always be like the one that's like
you're what's wrong.
Like you men being men at that age.
Yes.
Yes.
Being like you are making it seem like I
need to go to school
now. I'm like, I don't care what you do.
It's his own issue.
Yeah.
I was like, that's your problem.
I don't care.
Well, he was threatened because you were
starting to do something
to better your life.
So it threatened him.
Exactly.
Because he knows either it's
making him feel insecure about
what he's not doing and also he's scared.
He's going to lose you.
Exactly.
So that's where that came from.
Oh my god.
And then he always
thought I was cheating on him.
Yeah.
And I was like, dude, what?
And he was like, you're cheating on me
with someone at your restaurant
job.
I'm like, no.
Well, didn't he work?
Oh, he didn't work there.
Okay, so two different restaurants.
Yeah.
And it was him like showing
up to my rest showing up to ale
house sitting in a booth
watching me work and then like also
driving by my house to make sure that my
car was in the driveway
like crazy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I think that also was
another thing that made my trust
issues even worse with men.
I was like, you're really giving me a
number over here again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is a lot because up until then.
Had you was he your first boyfriend?
I had one when I was in Fort Myers like
my freshman year of high
school, but it was like
freshman year of high school.
It was like nothing.
So he was your first
real serious boyfriend.
Yeah, that was like the first
one because my first boyfriend,
we were dating for six months and he
moved all the way to
Washington and we tried to make it work.
It was the funniest thing.
Yeah, I think it's hilarious because
you're what like 14 really
get much further away.
Literally.
I still make fun of myself.
Like wow, yeah, but at 14, I was also
Mormon, which was crazy.
So I was making my parents proud.
Yeah.
Did they know he was more men?
Your mom?
No, my mom hated him.
She was like, he's a weed smoker.
I'm like, yeah, I'm
warming weed, but he's Mormon.
Yeah, I was like mom, but Mormon.
Okay.
But wait, during that time,
your sister was still living in
Fort Myers and going
to school in Fort Myers.
Yeah, she didn't come to
Jupiter until her I want to see
senior year of high school.
So how was your
relationship during those years?
Oh, Rocky.
Oh, my sister and I have always had a
rocky relationship because
we're half sisters and she
thinks that that matters.
I was like, dude, you've been in my life
since you were born.
Yeah, I was like,
you're my sister sister.
I don't care if you're half.
Where do you think
that came from with her?
Like that somebody put that in her head.
Do you think when she was young, she's
always just been the
type of like person.
It's like her opinion is what matters.
Like that is the right thing, right?
Still to this day.
She's just a stubborn girl.
Yeah.
So I think just whenever she found out
that we weren't biological
sisters, but you are we are.
Yeah, but I mean like a full biological.
I was like, how do I say this?
Yeah, she would just
took that and ran with it.
She's like, oh, I don't have a sister.
That's my half sister.
And I was like, even though
you had spent a good part of your
life helping raise her.
Yeah.
So she always thinks that I
was like, you know, the evil one,
like I'm just as bad as the parents are.
I'm like, oh, Carol, listen.
So what age did that click for her where
she made that decision
that you're not her real sister?
How old were you when that happened?
She had to be like 12.
She was about to go into like her eighth
grade year of middle
school. So I was sophomore.
Yeah, my son.
Yeah, it's just like sophomore year.
It's just like four years.
It was terrible.
Oh my goodness.
It's that sophomore year.
You had so much happen to you that year.
Don't even get me started
when I when I moved to my dad's
house.
He literally sent me this disgusting
paragraph being like
you're a disgrace to the family.
Mom doesn't love you anymore.
Like you just you just really
threw away your entire family
for someone that was never there for you.
And I'm like sitting
there like oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Wow.
She she also has her own issues.
She doesn't know who her dad is.
Yeah.
My mom also told my my sister for the
longest time that Lee
was her real dad.
And when my grandparents,
unfortunately broke that news
without my mom being there, my sister
absolutely went apeshit.
Of course.
Oh my god.
So how old was she when that happened?
I want to say she
was, you know, 11 or 12.
So this all this all exploded.
Yeah, right.
So your grandparents told
her without your mom there or
your mom's consent.
Yeah, was your mom in
rehab during this time?
No, just out of town at one of her jobs
and they just decided
do you know what their motivation?
Now's a good time.
They hate Lee.
They hated him for the longest time.
Do they still hate him?
No, now they love him and I'm
like, those are just some rocky
years for Lee.
I don't know how he stayed.
Hell of a guy.
I was thinking I want to help a guy.
Shout out to Lee.
He's like the best stepdad now.
I actually do like oh my goodness.
So she was lashing out
because her whole world collapsed.
Yeah, everything kind of came at one time
and she was like, oh,
so both of you were having a major stuff.
Yeah, and then your
mom's traveling, right?
She's doing what she needs to
do to keep her life together.
But she's also not completely present
with you guys and the
people that are want you to be Mormon.
Exactly.
And so yeah, shout out to Lee
because at least when you were
with him, even if you didn't like those
years, he was stable.
Yeah, he was stable.
So okay, so you so she moves over.
Why did she move over?
Did they get back together?
My mom kind of said like, oh,
she to be honest, she kind of
went through the same thing.
I went through she was
just kind of being a teenager.
She's going out sneaking out
doing all these crazy things.
My mom's like, no, both of
you girls are in one house so we
can supervise you were
like Lee's always home.
Right.
You're not getting
anything past that guy.
Right, right, right.
And they're still on and off.
No, at this point, they've been pretty
steady like after that
like like when she got out of
rehab, that was the last time
they were on and off for like about a
year and then they finally
said, all right, we're back together.
Does she does your mom
live in Jupiter then?
Now she lives in Jupiter.
So yeah, so your sister, she sent him
your sister to Lee for
stability and you were
still living there then.
So you guys were back in the
same house for the first time
in what five years or five years.
And how did that go?
Oh my god, it was a shit show at first.
I hated her like
being around all the time.
I was like, she's also just
so dramatic and I was like so
used to me just being like
the only child over there.
I was like, this is great.
I can do whatever I want.
Yeah, and then you come
around and now I have rules because
you're around.
Right.
What?
And you were done with
school by then, right?
So you're working at Ale House or going
to Palm Beach State.
She's there.
How long did it stay that way until your
mom moved over or so
my mom was kind of like in
between houses at that point where
she would be in Fort Myers
like one week and then she'll be
in Jupiter the next week.
So we got to see her a good amount of
times, but this is like
right around the time where
her work sked like load picked up
and she was traveling like a
whole bunch like she'd be home
like once a weekend, maybe.
Yeah, and it took us a
while to get used to that.
But like now that it's all like the dust
has settled and we're
used to it.
It's like nothing has ever
been right, you know different,
right, right, right.
So so she then is with you guys in
Jupiter and you guys are
all together.
Yeah.
How did your grandparents handle that?
They didn't they didn't mind it.
They missed the company, of course.
Yeah, and so they they would
always call us and be like,
when are you going to
come and see us again?
It's like, yeah, soon.
Yeah, once I moved away from
Fort Myers, I had no interest
to go back to Fort Myers
except for Sammy because she lives
over there still.
Yeah.
So once we moved though, I was like,
yeah, kind of over it.
Yeah, don't really love it.
The last time you've
been back over there.
I was there last weekend.
Was it was it kind of a surreal thing
rolling into town and
being like just awkward?
It kind of is sometimes
because it's like I have so much.
I just remember all the crazy things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, yikes.
Yeah, I can imagine.
So then how long were the
four of you in the same home?
Would you say so it was
probably 20 so like COVID pretty
much like COVID hit all of
us were in the same house.
My it was also the time my
parents were getting like their
bathrooms and kitchen
redone and it was just madness.
Yeah, my sisters like over there just
complaining that she's
stuck inside.
I'm playing video games all the time.
I'm getting my Wi-Fi shut off and I'm
screaming at Lee again.
One big happy family at the time.
I mean, I can't imagine that you guys
have had all this stuff
go on and then now it's
all come back full circle.
You're living together again for the
first time all four of
you and it's COVID.
Yeah, it was stuck and then
you're saying they're doing
house renovations.
It was like madness.
Yeah, did after that.
Did your mom try to read parent in a
sense that had to have
happened right where she
tried to be mom again and you had
kind of moved past
that in some ways, right?
You had some it was on
it was kind of like that.
I should say like the one thing that I
will say still to this
day.
My parents will apologize time and time
again for my childhood
and everything that I went through and
they always say like
if I could take it back if I could do
this different like I
would and so my mom I want to
say in the last like five six
years now, she's like tried to step up
and be like the best
parent and she has I'm not gonna lie.
She's definitely made like a
complete 180 with that one.
So I'm very happy that that's wonderful.
Yeah, that's wonderful
because for a lot of people that go
through hard times in their
childhood, they never get that
apology ever.
I mean, you know, you'll
never get it from your dad.
Oh, no, no, you might you
might you're young maybe you
might but you know, it may not come.
I wouldn't I wouldn't hold
out hope but no, I'm not betting
on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but that's wonderful that that
happened for you and and
also, I mean and for her, you know,
speaking as a parent,
I'm sure she's very grateful that you
guys are still in her
life and talk to her and
want to have a relationship with
her because when you look as
a parent, you know, when you
make mistakes you it's
terrifying if you think it could
cause your children to
want to be estranged from you.
Exactly.
So that's for a while.
Yeah, of course, of course.
So has she been sober since rehab?
Oh, yeah, both my my
stepdad and my mom my stepdad's I
think he's going on 15 years.
My mom's going on 10 this year.
Wow.
I want to say so that's amazing.
I know that's amazing.
Nothing.
No, no weed.
No drinking.
Nothing.
They're they're they're guilty pleasures
Monster Energy drinks
and I think it's the cutest thing.
Monster Energy drinks
and like San Pellegrino.
Do they do anything that
that help keep them sober?
Like I don't know not AA but
like people will do things as
a diversion.
That's almost as addictive.
Are they or they just kind of is it
normal type of thing?
I think for my mom and I'm
just going to say this as my
opinion here.
She works so much that
that's like her bread and butter.
Yeah, she loves the tea at work.
Oh my gosh.
She goes crazy for it.
She's also now over the last
couple years just like because
she's a boss now.
She just got a promotion recently.
Well, she switched companies, but she
just like loves running
her like little area of expertise.
She's like, I'm the boss now.
This is I've worked my way
from washing hair to like being
in the cabinet industry and like making
these cabinets, which
is cool.
That's amazing.
I know.
Yeah, because a lot of times
and speaking is because we're
not 100% sober, but we made a
huge shift a couple years ago
and a lot of times when you
like to enjoy something or have
an addictive personality, what
you change to also you become
addicted to, you know, like
Brian loves cold plunging or
exercise.
We love exercise, but then
we were like we have to do it.
Yeah, so I think once you have that
addictive personality,
that's why it's important to
try to find healthy things.
You're going to be into it just as much.
So if you can find that
outlet, that's not destructive.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm sure for your mom, it's working.
Yeah, which she's been very good at and
successful and crazy
and very fulfilling for her.
So that's awesome.
It's so crazy to watch that though.
Like see my mom literally go
from nothing to like this huge
boss all of a sudden.
I'm like, what?
Amazing.
Yeah, that is amazing.
It's very very cool.
It is really cool.
Yeah, no and you and your sister, you
guys still butt heads
a little bit or?
I just think that at this point into
sisters being sisters.
It's not as bad like
she calls me sissy now.
Like she actually does know
that I'm her sister and she's
not as much of an asshole.
Okay, that's good.
That's good.
Well, how old would she be right now?
She's 21 now.
Okay.
Yeah, so she's still young.
Yeah.
So after covid, did you stay
there or did you move somewhere
else?
I'm trying to think so.
That's 2020 2021 ish.
So I ended up quitting
Alehouse because my ex-boyfriend's
sister started working at Alehouse.
Oh, wait.
Did you break up with
the boy the crazy boy?
No, I was still with him
at this point in covid.
Okay.
Yeah, we were going on
like two years crazy.
I know.
Okay, regret that one too.
We all have those and so I
quit Alehouse because his sister
started working there and I
just couldn't take it anymore.
She was like one of those very toxic
people like it's my show
like you're just like
a extra in it, right?
But is this the I'm sorry.
Is this the guy that
was driving by your house?
It's his sister.
It's his sister.
So you guys did break up.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
okay.
Yeah, I started working at the
restaurant, but it's it's
her so it's your boyfriend's sister.
Yeah, so she's there and
she's making my life health.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm gonna get a new job.
And so one of my friends that I knew was
like, hey, my brother
works at this place called jetties.
You should go apply there.
I was like, okay, word like
I'll go and give it a shot.
Yeah, and I got hired on the
spot and I was like, oh cool.
I this like my breakaway from Alehouse
and is it a restaurant?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
It's really it's really nice over there.
I like it.
It's in Jupiter though.
I still make that hike.
It's crazy.
But um, and so I start
working there and like everything's
fine.
We're still dating and then it was like I
think my 20th birthday.
We all went to like me and a
whole bunch of my friends and
two, um, universal for the weekend and
we're obviously drinking
and we're having fun.
He was like the sober Sally though.
He was like, oh my mom's an alcoholic and
like you're not allowed
to drink because my mom's an alcoholic.
I was like, listen, my
mom is next alcoholic.
Okay.
Yeah.
And you've been together so long now.
I know.
I was like, is this a new thing?
He decided to bring
into your relationship.
This was like ongoing
for years at this point.
I never really drink
though until I turned 20.
Okay.
Because I was just
like, oh, I'm almost 21.
Why not?
And so we were drinking and he was
screaming at me in front of everybody
and I will never forget this one day.
We were all waking up nice
and early to go to universal.
He's downstairs screaming at me at 8 a.m.
Being like you're hungover.
You're a drunk.
You're a piece of shit.
Da da da da da.
And I know I was just sitting there like,
okay, buddy, you want to play?
And I started barking back at all my
friends like Brooke, stop like,
yeah, get it together.
Yeah.
And after that, it was just kind of like
I knew it was over like
I was like, I'm over it.
I don't want to be with somebody that
this that did you end it right then.
No, I think it lasted
like another like six months.
And I finally just
like dude, I can't okay.
Can't do this anymore.
Yeah, he just kept
getting progressively worse.
Yeah.
And I was he sounds like
he was very controlling.
Oh my god.
Yeah, like none other like he would text
my mom and be like, hey, can I come sleep
over because my mom kicked me out?
That didn't happen.
Right.
Like he would just always need to be the
amount of times I would get off of
work and he'd be in my bed without me
knowing and just be like, I wanted to
surprise you and I was like, get out at
your house where your parents are.
Yeah, I was like, get out.
How did they feel about him?
My mom always had like a
rocky feeling about him.
She was like, sometimes he's so nice, but
then he's like so hot and cold.
Like I don't yeah, she was always just
kind of like I'm not comfortable with
him always being here
and I'm like, that's fine.
Yeah, very toxic.
Very very toxic.
How did he handle you ending things?
Oh my god.
It was like the end of the world.
He just looked at me and he was like, he
was like, oh, you'll be back.
I was like, for sure.
And then did he keep coming around and
texting me like asking my
friends about me, ask my
parents about me, which is crazy.
I was like, yeah, and then I remember I
tried to rekindle things with him again.
I was like, all right,
we'll give it another shot.
Maybe a month after we broke up, right?
Yeah, and he went through my Apple watch
and showed my mom all
the text messages that I
had to voice over the last month and
said, your daughter's a
whore and just dropped my
Apple watch.
And my friend texted me and
said, did you cheat on him?
And I was like, never.
I was like, I've never cheated on him.
And he was like, then what's this?
And he sent him screenshots
of like the text messages.
Yeah, and I texted him.
I go, if I ever see your face again, I'm
gonna freak out like you were so done.
And that was the last
time I ever spoke to him.
That's crazy that he had the
balls to show your mom that.
I know.
Oh my God.
That was so awkward.
I get home and my mom's
like, we need to have a talk.
I'm like, yeah, but hopefully she said
our talk is going to be
you never go near this kid.
It was.
It was.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah.
I'm really sorry that we have to talk
about this and other half
was don't don't go near him.
Like he's bad news.
Right.
Oh my goodness.
So he was done.
Yeah, you're working in jetties.
And what was your next move after that?
Like you're still living at home.
I'm living at home and I'm just trying to
like figure out what I want to kind of do
with my life at that point.
I was like, I could go
to the business route.
I could go to this nursing thing.
I don't know.
I'm just kind of taking classes and then
that's when I met Alex and how did you
guys meet from jetties?
He worked there with me.
Okay.
Yeah.
And so for the first year, it was funny
when I first started working there, my
managers made an announcement
that I wasn't allowed to be hit on by any
of the men that were working there.
I thought that was
hilarious because I was freshly.
I think it was just 19 at the time.
Oh my goodness.
And then everybody was
like, oh, well, why not?
And they were like, she
has a serious boyfriend.
Okay, do not ruin that.
And I was like, please
just like, yeah, stop.
Like, it's not great.
Right, right, right.
And then I don't even really the
Christmas party happened at jetties,
which got a little crazy.
Everybody just got really drunk as
happens at work parties.
Yeah, it's a bar too.
Yeah, exactly.
We were at a bar and it was just like and
then one thing led to
another and we started dating.
It was kind of crazy.
That's cool.
So that was how many years ago?
Three years now.
Wow.
You guys have been together a long time.
So he lived in Jupiter.
No, he lived in a point in the whole time
and he was driving up to Jupiter.
Wow.
Yeah for work.
So where do you live now?
I live in now.
We live in Delray.
Okay.
Yeah, you're close.
Yeah.
So you're living a home in Jupiter and
was he living in his own place in point
and you guys are both working at jetties.
And did you go back to school or yeah?
I was kind of like doing the thing that I
always was doing was taking two classes
trying it out seeing what's happening.
Yeah, and then it's going from there and
then around I want to say it was like
April of like so now we're in 2022.
Yeah.
My stepdad like so I got home from Alex's
house for the weekend like I went back
home and my stepdad just was like in a
like a little mood you could tell and he
was like you didn't clean your litter box
like your cast litter box.
Like okay, like I'll get it done.
He was like, I don't like your attitude.
What did I say?
You didn't clean your litter your cats
litter box all weekend.
What is that's not my responsibility and
I was like, okay ends up turning into
this huge fight and he kicks me out and
he goes you're gonna have to figure it
out like get out of my house.
So I literally within the next hour pack
up all of my stuff into my car and I just
drive and I call my friend.
I'm like, hey just got kicked out.
She's like go to my house.
You can live with me.
So what what what what like?
Did something lead to that?
No, the litter box has you been spending
more and more time at Alex's?
Yeah, but Lee's biggest thing was let me
know where you are and when you're going
to be home and I don't care and I told
him every single day was
like, hey, I'm staying the night.
Hey, I'm staying the night and he was
like, okay, no problem.
I think he just had like a bad day at
work or something and then the litter box
was like the last straw was like the last
straw and so and you're like fine.
I've been through this before.
I was like, yeah.
We're going to retract
the shout out to Leon.
He'll recover as we go.
He might recover.
Okay.
Okay, so you went to your friend's house
and it was it was like a very like I was
I knew I was going to move out soon.
Like I just had like an inkling that like
this was going to happen or I was going
to take the reins and just leave and so
when I moved out for the first time, I
finally felt like
everything in my life was going.
Okay, I didn't talk to Lee for a while.
I'm not gonna lie, like probably a month.
I was just like, I'm over you.
My mom, she didn't
know about this either.
My mom was out of town.
She calls me freaking out.
What do you mean?
You're you left like all your
stuff just out of the house.
I'm like, hey, I you told me to go.
I'm not scared to go anymore.
Okay, I'm an adult.
Yeah, I can do this and she was like,
well, you're going to come home and we're
going to have a chat
like we can have a chat.
I'm out like I'm not coming back.
No, it's also I'm sure in some ways
whether it's
consciously or subconsciously.
Triggered old wounds and had to have
because this is the first time I've been
kicked out right and
so it's like look I trusted you guys and
you've broken my trust exactly and I
don't it's not a safe space right
now for me because I can't I'm not going
to go back when now I can't trust you're
not going to do this again exactly.
How many times can someone be put through
something like that by a parental figure?
I've kind of like been I'm
like at the I was at that point
I should say where I was like you guys
keep kicking me out.
What's the end goal going to be?
I'm gonna end up having
to be fully out anyway.
So why not just stay out?
Yeah, now I don't blame you.
Because they were begging me to come back home.
They were like, no, I didn't mean it.
I was just having a bad day.
I'm like, I don't care.
Yeah. I don't care.
Especially considering the history.
There's certain things,
especially if you know the history,
you just don't go there.
Exactly. Because if you do,
there's gonna be consequences.
Exactly, and that was
my whole view on it.
And so, but--
Where did you live then?
West Palm Beach.
I lived with-- By yourself?
With my friend, no.
I moved into her
apartment with her boyfriend
and her dad was living there.
And it was pretty, it
was decent for a while.
And then--
So her dad and you
and her lived together.
And her boyfriend, yeah.
And her boyfriend. He was there too.
Okay.
And you know, it was a great time.
I was never really there though,
because I was always at
Alex's house at that point.
I'm like, nobody can
tell me when I come home.
That's right.
You didn't have to tell
anybody where you're going.
Exactly. Yeah.
And she liked it.
She says it still to the stage.
She's like, you were
the best roommate ever.
Never there. Yeah.
Everything was always clean.
You paid me rent way before time.
Right, did your cat go with you?
No, he had to stay there
because she has a pit bull.
And that wouldn't have been good for me.
No, no, no.
Is your cat still alive?
Yeah, he's still at my mom's house.
He still lives there.
So you get to see him when you go home.
Yeah, my mom won't let me take him.
I've asked and she's like, that's my cat.
Yeah, that makes sense.
So you're living with your
friend, mainly in Alex's.
Still working at
Jenny's and going to school.
Now at that point, did
you know what you were going
to school for?
You were just doing prerequisites.
I knew nursing was like
my end goal at this point.
I was starting to
take the prereqs for it.
And Alex being in college
also and seeing how hard
he was working really
pushed me to like the next level.
And I was like, all
right, I can't do this.
And then I started taking more classes.
Then I was taking four classes.
I was like, whoa, who's this person?
Yeah, right.
Were you going to
school or was it online?
I did half online, half in person.
And where was he going to school?
UCF.
So did online or did he go up to Orlando?
He did online and he had to go to Orlando
like once a week to go
to one class or something.
Okay, crazy.
I know he hated it.
With like an attendance maybe.
Literally. At least it's only two and a half hours.
It's not Tallahassee.
I guess it could be worse.
It could be worse.
That ride though is.
Yeah, but still.
It does.
It does, we've done it so many times.
Okay, so you're now nursing.
Did you know what kind
of nurse you wanted to be?
I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse
for the longest time.
I was like, that sounds cool.
Babies, I don't have to see
any of the really gross stuff.
I just have to watch, I guess birth.
It can be gross.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Trust me, I changed my mind real quick
when I saw it for the first time.
And it can be sad too.
It's beautiful and it's
also very sad sometimes.
I just couldn't take it.
So I was like, you know
what, we'll figure it out.
Yeah, yeah.
So do you know what you're
doing right now with nursing?
Are you still in school
right now for nursing?
So how much longer do you have?
So I have a year.
I start like official nursing school
in hopefully June if I get in.
This June?
Yeah.
That's exciting.
I know, I worked my butt off
and finally, hopefully it's bang off.
I just gotta take those tests.
Wow, that is so cool.
And do you know now what
kind of nurse you wanna be
or where you wanna be working?
I kind of had the idea
because I work at
Wellington right now in the ICU.
So I see worse than
labor and delivery, right?
And I love it.
I eat it up every day.
Like I think it's like,
you just learn so much on that floor.
There's nothing you really can't learn.
Every day is different.
Every day is different.
Some days are terrible
where you're just like,
you don't sit for 12 hours
and the other days I'm sitting
and I'm just waiting
for something to happen
which sounds bad, but like,
you're always on edge though in the ICU.
You're just waiting for
something to go wrong.
And that sounds bad,
but it's like you're in such
critical condition up there.
You deal with the worst of the worst.
Are they like a level one
or I don't know the designation.
They're not a trauma hospital, no.
But sometimes they take trauma.
Like if it's the worst case scenario
and no other hospital can
take them, they'll take them.
But they ship immediately to JFK.
They're like, all right,
we'll get you stabilized
and then we'll ship.
That's like our local hospital here.
Yeah.
If you like ICU like that,
have you thought about
being a trauma nurse?
I thought about it.
I just, I would have to
start working at Delray
which I've heard is
like a decent hospital.
So I've been debating on moving it over
because now that we moved to Delray,
it's right around the
corner from my house
instead of now
Wellington being 35 minutes away.
And waking up at like 5 a.m.
to have to go to work is like.
It's like Mormon school.
(both laughing)
It's like my, my bear's.
It takes a very special
person to be a trauma nurse.
And just from what I'm hearing you say,
you have some of that in you.
So it's definitely something,
my dad was a trauma doctor.
It's definitely something, yeah,
something to consider
because I'm talking about exciting.
I know.
Would you ever
consider becoming a doctor?
Is that an interest?
If anything, a nurse
practitioner or like a PA
or something like that,
I don't think I could be a doctor doctor.
Not because I don't
think I'm smart enough.
I think it's because, you know,
I don't wanna be like
$500,000 in debt with school.
My aunt, she was an ER doctor
and she told me she's
like $350,000 in debt.
She was like, it'd take
forever to pay this off.
Well nowadays I think nurse practitioners
get more action even, you
know, like they're busy.
And it's almost as much school I think,
or it's a lot of school.
It's six years, yeah.
Yeah, so we'll let her get in as a nurse
first to decide if she wants to.
We'll rock and roll with
this for a little while.
Yeah, so then nursing
school, that would be in June.
And then how long do
you attend nursing school?
Until, so it would be a full year.
So it would be a full year of school,
which is gonna suck.
But, you know, gotta grind through it.
It's 40 hours a week,
which is also crazy.
Wow.
Plus don't you have,
aren't you working a job or two still?
I'm working two jobs right now too, so.
So what are you doing?
I work at, so I work at
the ICU in the hospital
and then I work at Jetty's still
as a bartender and server, so.
What's so interesting about that
is both of those jobs are
giving of yourself to people,
but in two completely different ways.
It's exhausting.
You have got to be exhausted.
Always.
Because you're always
taking care of someone,
whether it's behind the bar or as a
server or in an ICU.
I mean, do you take time for yourself
and prioritize any self care?
Yes and no.
Alex just said this yesterday.
I was like, I'm gonna
go get my nails done.
And then he was like, okay, go have fun.
And then I was like,
no, I'm not doing it.
And he sent me money.
He's like, please go.
Go take care of yourself for once.
And so then I went, I was
like, wow, that's really nice.
So I need to start doing it.
Yes, you do.
And at this age, if you can
start making that a priority,
because if you end up
having a family and all that,
it's the one thing as women
we put on the back burner,
if you can incorporate that now
with how crazy your life is now,
then you'll be able to hold onto it,
even if it's once a month.
Exactly.
Go get a massage or go have coffee alone
where there's no noise, just something.
It's important to keep that balance,
especially right now.
Now it sounds like
Alex is very supportive.
Very.
And he knows all about your history.
Oh yeah, we bonded over that
because he's been
through the wringer himself.
Okay. Yeah.
So he understands.
We kind of trauma bonded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's interesting,
because I also have a
similar, not similar,
but a traumatic childhood.
But what's funny
about Brian is he didn't.
And so you would never
think that that would work,
because I always thought I
would end up with someone
who had a similar, I would
trauma bond with someone.
So that makes more sense to me.
Exactly.
But because they get it.
You don't even have to explain.
It's amazing because your trauma,
and I'm not diminishing it,
so don't give me shit later.
I'm committed.
But you've got a story.
Oh, for sure. My gosh.
For sure.
I'm really proud of
you, to be honest with you.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Because now you're, so
wait, what's the step from,
you were living with your friend,
and then, but now you're living with us.
So what happened there?
So I was always just at Alex's house,
and then one day he was just like,
you wanna move in together?
I mean, you're always here.
There's no point in
paying two separate rents.
And it kind of all worked out,
because then he got a really good,
his sister needed a place to move into,
so her stepdad was like,
here, you can stay in this house,
and we'll charge you
like $6.50 a month for rent.
Wow, geez. And we're like,
that's amazing.
So he was like, you can move in here,
and just pay $6.50, call it a day.
So that's exactly what we did.
And then she was sad to see me go.
And then my friend, she was like,
we were never really roommates.
Yeah.
(both laughing)
Your stuff was here, but you weren't.
Yeah, and then now you guys
have your own place in Delray?
So, and how long have you been there?
We just moved there in October.
And is that your first time
where it's a place you
two picked out together?
It's just us two, yeah.
And how's that going?
It's going really well, actually.
I thought at first it
was gonna be a shit show,
because it's a 780 square foot apartment.
Right. It's pretty small.
And I was like, that's a lot of,
that's close at all times.
And I'm like the type of
person I need my space.
He's the same way.
And so I thought we were gonna
just butt heads all the time.
But no, he shuts the door
when he plays video games
and I can sit on the couch in peace.
That's perfect.
That's awesome. That's perfect.
And it sounds like you
guys really understand
what each of you needs,
because you both kind
of need the same thing.
Yeah.
So you don't have to explain it to him
and he doesn't have to explain it to you.
That's huge.
At first when I was younger,
because when we started dating, I was 20.
So he was like, he
had explained it to me.
And he's like, okay, listen,
if we're gonna make this
work, I need my Sundays.
Sundays are for football
and the boys, that's it.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, okay, that's fine.
I got it.
What's your age difference?
It's four years.
So he's 28 and I'm 23, about to turn 24.
So yeah.
I mean, just being able
to have that communication
so early is so vital.
And it could be because you both have
already been through
so much, you're like,
I'm not afraid to speak up.
I'm gonna stay what I need,
because I don't have time to
kind of like put up with stuff.
I've already put up with enough.
Exactly.
It took me, it's still like to this day,
I'm like the worst person to be like,
like if I have a problem,
I'll still push it down.
And Alex would be like, tell me please
for the love of God.
Just tell me what's wrong.
I'm like, no, it's
fine, everything's fine.
Do you have tells where he
knows like certain things
where he's like, okay,
something's going on.
If I'm super quiet, he's like, oh no.
Cause I talk a lot.
Right, right.
So that's something
you still have an impact.
So, and that can, I
can tell you for myself,
really I spent good part
of my thirties and forties
trying to impact some stuff
and really just settled it
like maybe five years ago.
You won't take that
long, but once you unpack it,
you realize, wow, I
was holding onto a lot.
You don't know you are
until all of a sudden
you're not carrying it anymore.
And you're like, oh, yeah.
And it'll just happen one day.
You'll just decide to, you know,
and you're probably
doing it piece by piece.
Yeah.
Every year.
I've been realizing that
I've been getting better
with just like talking what's on my mind.
And he's like so funny.
He's like, there's nothing
you can be embarrassed about
in this relationship.
We've told each other
like our horror stories.
Right.
And he was like, I'm here for you.
You're here for me.
And like, that's it.
I used to get so embarrassed if I'd like,
if I said something out
of place, he was like,
why are you embarrassed?
Like you're fine.
And I'm like, oh no, well, I
had that toxic relationship.
I was like, if I spoke
out of place, oh God.
Right.
Well, and for your childhood,
there was just so much upheaval.
And at times rejection
when you're kicked out
and then your dad was
such a disappointment.
So it sounds like Alex
is really the first male
in your life that you've
ever been able to 100% trust
with your heart.
Yeah.
And he's a safe place.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, even though Lee's great.
Yeah, Lee's great.
He's bad.
But then he even had his moments.
And not that Alex isn't going to,
but it sounds like
he's given you that place.
Exactly.
And then, but when you've
gone through a lot growing up,
it takes a long time to trust that
and to really hand over your stuff.
It took me a long time to trust Alex.
Cause I heard frat boy
and I was like, oh God.
Right.
(both laughing)
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
No, and you just, it takes so long to,
you also trust they're not gonna leave.
Exactly.
That was the biggest thing.
I'm 20, you're 25,
I'm 24, 25 at the time.
I was like, you could find anybody.
Okay.
Right, yes.
Yeah.
And then having some
abandonment probably issues too.
Now, and I don't know if you did this,
but I know with Brian, like
I would test him, you know,
or I would almost like
start to sabotage things.
Cause I'm like, well,
you're gonna leave anyways.
And it takes a while to
realize, no, you're not.
You're actually gonna
stay and trust in that.
I feel like there's a couple of times
where I would just like
really test the waters
and see like how much he actually like
wanted to be with me.
And then we'd always get
into a fight and I'd be like,
oh, why did I do that?
Yeah, yeah, no, but it's
like learning and all that.
Now I feel like I remember, I
don't know if Nathan told me,
but were you diagnosed with diabetes?
So was that sophomore year?
I know, I was thinking the same thing.
No, no, it was thankfully.
Oh my gosh.
Actually crazy thing was
right when my mom got out
of rehab probably like two months later,
I got diagnosed with
diabetes and my mom was like, oh.
So were you having symptoms?
So they thought I had mono.
They swore left and
right that I had mono.
They're like, oh, it's
normal in kids, whatever.
Like no big deal.
So they ran a whole bunch of blood work
and my blood sugar was like crazy.
It was like 400 or something like that.
And they were like, okay,
we're gonna bring it back in.
We're gonna rerun it,
see if it was just a
malfunction or something.
It was even higher than,
and then they pretty much
looked at me and they're like,
okay, so this could be
an overactive thyroid
or you're a diabetic.
And I was like, oh, cool, cool.
So then I got shipped to the hospital
where they put me on an insulin drip
and they just like pretty much were like,
we're gonna just run some tests,
really make sure like we know what we're
seeing here is true.
And then we'll get back to you.
And they kept you at the hospital though.
For a week.
Then like, I think it
was day two or day three
of me being in the hospital.
The doctor comes in with
like the nurse practitioner
and they're like looking at me.
They're like, so it's
not the thyroid disease,
it's diabetes.
And I just remember my mom
looking at me being like,
it's okay.
And I looked at the doctor and like,
okay, I'm gonna kill myself then.
And then the doctor was like, okay, no,
you can't say that.
Yeah, we can't let you leave now.
I know she's like,
well, you're stuck here now.
And so I was like screaming and crying
and they were like, you gotta calm down.
And then the doctor was
like, put her in a wheelchair,
take her outside, let
her get some fresh air.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I came back in and I was like,
well, this is my life, I guess.
So what were your,
were you just exhausted?
Was that the main thing?
I couldn't get out of bed.
I was peeing like crazy.
My body was actually
like aching at all times.
I'm like, I feel so old, I'm 14.
And had that happened before that?
So it was an onset at that time.
Is it considered type
one or type two then?
Type one.
Okay.
Because it just, so with type one,
sometimes it just takes a
long time for your pancreas
to actually finally fully shut off.
And then with type two, it just like,
it still gives you insulin, just not
enough for the upkeep.
So is that genetic?
Does anyone else in your family?
My dad's side of the
family has type one diabetes.
Did you know that?
No, at the time I didn't.
And the best part is, is my
mom called my dad and was like,
hey, so I just want to let you know,
like Brooke has
diabetes and he goes, okay.
And I was like, well,
can you come see me?
He was like, yeah, if I have time.
And I was like, okay,
so I'd call him every day
and I'd be like, come see
me, come see me, not once.
And then he just called me when I got out
and he was like, sorry,
kid, just got so busy.
This was before you
lived with him, right?
Yeah, this was before.
This is, how old, 14, right?
Yeah, I was 14, yeah.
So then you needed to
start giving yourself shots
and learn and doing all that.
You pretty much have to
relearn the way to live again.
And it was kind of
crazy because the doctor,
she was like, before you leave,
you're going to have to
give yourself an insulin shot.
I'm like, no, I'm not doing that.
She was like, well then
you're going to be here
for another week.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
So then I gave myself an insulin shot
and she literally
discharged me within the hour.
I was like, cool.
So for people listening that are curious
how diabetes changes your life
and you said you had
to relearn how to live,
can you explain a little more on that?
Yeah, so pretty much
every food label you look at
is like your kind of like
guideline of like the type of,
like the amount of
insulin you need to take.
So if I like look at, for
an example, a gallon of milk,
it's going to be like 12
carbs per like eight fluid ounces
or something like that.
So then you have to take
whatever your insulin regimen
is for that 12 carbs.
Okay.
And then you also have to
take into account fiber.
Fiber is another one that
you would subtract a point
for how much fiber is
like in that product.
And it was just all
this math at all times,
but I've had it for, this
is my 10th year having it.
And it's like, it's like
the back of my head now.
Like I just look at a label
and like, yeah, I got this.
So what about when you go out to eat?
So now I have like a insulin pump
and I have a continuous glucose monitor.
So I just type everything into my little,
Oh wow, that's cool.
My diabetes phone.
I just type it in there
and it gives me insulin.
Don't even have to poke myself anymore.
And so do you have to
watch what you eat at all
or can you just do whatever you want?
You get to live.
That's crazy.
You can drink alcohol and do it.
So it just takes care of it.
Yeah, it kind of, well,
when you drink alcohol,
you just got to make
sure that your blood sugar
doesn't crash cause that happens.
Because you know, alcohol
is always going to lower
your blood sugar and then
you're going to get shaky.
That's not what you want.
Initially you'll spike it, right?
Yeah, it goes up and
it just crashes hard.
I think that happens even
when you're not diabetic, right?
That's just something to happen.
Cause I know we've woken up shaky before
with my blood sugar down.
It's partly why as you get older,
it's harder to, the
hangovers hit you worse.
That's what happens, you crash harder.
Yeah, exactly.
So was it hard when you got diagnosed
and was this when you were in Fort Myers?
Of course.
Yeah, going to school,
was it hard socially at all?
Did it spill into your social life or?
At first I took it really hard
and I was just like,
everybody's gonna make fun of me.
And they did, high school was fun.
Like the first, my
freshman year was just like,
everybody called me Captain Diabido.
Seriously?
Yeah, it was kind of funny.
Now it's hilarious,
but back then I was like,
you guys suck.
So how did they know?
Because you'd have to go to the office.
Because I'd have to go
to the nurse's office
and give myself an insulin shot.
And they would always just
like see me walking there.
They're like, yeah, go take your insulin.
So I'm like, I'm like a
hundred pounds, thank you.
What?
I wonder now if that would happen.
I feel like in today's
society, I don't think so.
I really don't.
Because I think maybe
there was one positive
of cancel culture, I'm not a fan of it.
But I think you can't, I
think kids just won't do that now.
No, I don't see it as much.
No, I don't think the
whole, that whole bull,
I think there's other bullying.
But I don't think
about something like that.
So for high school, it
was like that for you.
It was probably for
the first like two years.
And then I kind of like
grew like this like fake skin.
And I was like, oh yeah,
yeah, I am Captain Diabido.
Then they stopped, oh my God.
The bullies, every time that
you stop them in your tracks
and you agree with
them, they're like, what?
You took the power away.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, yeah.
So, and then you said
you just recently got
on an insulin drip, is
that what they call it?
Insulin pump.
Insulin pump.
And how long have you been on that?
So I've actually had
that for like six years now,
but I got this, the
continuous glucose monitor
like two, three years
ago and it's life changing.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
was that life changing?
I don't have to trick my
finger anymore, it's great.
That's amazing.
And how accessible is
that to people with diabetes?
Well, insurance companies nowadays.
I mean, you can go pick up
the continuous glucose monitor
at like Walgreens.
You can get them at Amazon.
Yeah, but like the pumps,
it just depends on
your insurance company.
They have like the one with the tube,
which I absolutely
was like not happening.
Yeah.
So I have the wireless one, so.
Wow.
And so for children, is
that what children have now?
A lot of kids have
the, what do you call it?
The insulin pump.
So do you think having to
go down to the nurse's office
and give yourself a
shot doesn't really happen
as much anymore?
No, because you can just do it
from your like little diabetes phone.
That's wonderful.
That's amazing.
No, that's a really positive thing.
It is.
For children.
Now, do you come across,
have you come across
people with diabetes and nursing
since you've been going in the ICU or?
I feel like every day I
see somebody who's in,
it's called DKA, but
it's diabetic ketoacidosis.
Okay.
I feel like I see somebody
that's in that all the time,
which just means your
blood sugar is like high
for such a high amount of time that
there's so much acid
in your like acidity in your body
and it's eating away at
like anything it can, fat.
Sometimes when it gets
really bad, like organs.
In that scenario, are you
seeing like amputations then?
I have seen amputations.
It just the most, it
sounds bad, but unfortunately,
it's like mostly only type two diabetes.
That's what I thought.
And I always feel bad saying that
because there's that stigma around it
when it's like, it
shouldn't be like that,
but that's the only
time I really ever see it.
And it's never like,
I've never seen like a full leg
amputation or anything.
It's like toes all the time.
Just people know toes.
I'm like, damn.
So that's mainly type two.
And am I wrong?
And I'm probably gonna get hate for this,
but am I wrong that to sum up type two
is people eat themselves into type two?
Pretty much.
It can come from
drinking too much as well.
Okay.
But yeah, most of the
time it's just your body.
Yeah, it's over consumption.
Your body just can't keep up with as much
that you're putting in.
Bad things.
Yeah, well, like food.
Like you could just eat
a lot of sugar and just--
It's a metabolic disorder
that people don't address.
Exactly.
I know Brian at times
has gotten diagnosed
with pre-metabolic in his annual checkups
and that's when he changes everything.
Well, what you do, you
get your high cholesterol,
high blood pressure, high sugar,
your triglycerides are
wrong and you Google it.
And it's like, shit, I'm gonna die.
I've got five years to live.
But if I lose weight and I cut out carbs
and I don't drink and
you can kind of reverse it.
You can reverse it.
100%.
That's a beautiful thing.
Like if you're borderline type two,
you can easily fix that.
100%.
But then once you are
on insulin with type two,
can you reverse it then?
They say you can.
It's just a very tricky slope.
Like you could fall right back in.
So your pancreas can like once again,
like pick back up, oops, pick
back up and like work again,
but then you fall down that hole again.
Yeah.
It's completely within your control.
That might piss people
off too, but I can tell you,
I've been in that
pre-diabetic metabolic syndrome before.
If you exercise and eat better,
you can correct your numbers.
Exactly.
It's just the reality.
He doesn't wanna be on medication.
So that's what motivates him.
I wouldn't blame you
if you don't wanna be
on type two medication, it's terrible.
Yeah, yeah, he has family members.
People do start
getting their toes cut off.
And then if then it goes up to your knee,
then it's your leg and that's real.
And it's the other leg.
Yeah, yeah.
It's unfortunate.
So with type one, as long
as you monitor everything,
then you're good to go.
Pretty much, yeah.
You always have to
like type one, you just,
I don't know how to say this.
Like it's, I always
call it the better one
because you can kind of
play with your numbers.
When you're type two, you
take that, I don't know.
I don't really know if type two diabetics
is a really fast acting insulin.
I know I do, that's
what I like live off of
is this fast acting.
So it just acts really
fast, like within 15 minutes.
And so I can kind of
play with my numbers.
If I want my numbers to
stay in a certain place,
I'll just take a
certain amount of insulin.
I don't know how it
is for type two people.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
And what about as far as
having children and stuff,
does type one affect reproductivity or?
So pretty much they
just warn you that like,
if you are gonna have a kid,
you have to keep your
numbers pretty, like controlled.
Like they have to be like,
I want to say like in the low hundred,
like you can get to like upper hundreds,
but like they want you to
stay in that like 100 range.
But thing about it is
like when you, oops,
the further along you
go in your pregnancy,
the more you get insulin resistance.
So then your numbers are always high.
Right.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And also if you have type one,
are you more prone to
gestational diabetes?
Well, you already have diabetes.
Oh yeah, I guess so
you're just, it's not, yeah.
It is gestational.
So it is gestational, right?
That's a redundant question.
So, cause I know for people,
the people that get that is
that, that didn't have it,
then is it more of like a
type two thing they're getting?
It's crazy though.
Some people they get gestational diabetes
and it leads to type one diabetes
where their pancreas just shuts off.
Even when they're just
during the pregnancy?
After the pregnancy they give birth,
that pancreas never starts again.
Really?
I've seen people that happen to people.
I'm like, oh my God.
Wow.
Welcome to the club.
Yeah, right?
Wow, that's so interesting.
It's almost like your
thyroid, I think, right?
Your thyroid doesn't
really work that well.
At all.
Yeah.
Mine doesn't.
So you have like type one thyroid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have to take
medicine every morning.
Yeah.
To replace what my
thyroid doesn't produce.
Exactly.
Cause mine is gone.
Yeah.
Cause I have Hashimoto's too.
Oh, okay.
So it's like, it's a fun, it's fun.
Fun little life.
Fun little life.
So I did wanna ask you for Gen Z,
my impression of Gen Z women is they have
a very strong girlhood.
I feel like Gen Z women are in general
very women supporting women vibe.
Has that been your experience?
And now that you're in your twenties,
not through your adolescent years.
Okay, now that I'm in my twenties?
Now that you're in your twenties.
That's a lot better.
Yeah, I think that
there are a lot more women
supporting women than back in the day.
I feel like more people were hateful,
like a little hateful
back when social media
first started coming around.
I was like, oh, everybody's judging it.
I'm not saying it's good now.
I mean, it's so crazy,
but it's a little better.
Like if you, for
example, if you were going into
a restaurant or a bar and you
saw a girl with a cute outfit,
was your first initial feeling be,
oh my gosh, that's such a cute outfit,
or would it be, oh my gosh,
I have to compete with her?
Oh, it would be the first one,
that I think that's a cute outfit.
Okay, so for Gen X women,
our first thing was always,
I have to compete with her.
We never looked at
another woman and we're like,
that's so cute.
We were like, shit, like
she looks better than me.
And I think that's a, I
don't know what that is
about you guys, but that's what I mean.
In general, you kind of are able to
appreciate each other
and not immediately put each other down.
Exactly.
And I think it's so cool.
I see my mom's friends
and they're so judgy.
Yes.
I'm like, you guys, come on.
And we're not boomers,
because your mom is a Gen X-er, right?
We're not boomers,
because that's a whole
nother level of judgment.
Because we are loving and
we're caring and thoughtful
and generous, but we,
I've gotten past that,
but I do know that about myself and my
generation as women.
We have not been known to be
big women supporting women.
I think your generation is
changing the narrative on that.
It's really cool.
I think it has to be
better with social media,
especially, because you go on TikTok
and you see all these girls just like
hyping each other up.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, that's great.
It's awesome.
I love to see it.
So what's your approach to goal setting?
Like, would you say you're
the type that in five years
I want to be here, in
three years I want to be here,
or how do you tackle that?
So I'm actually the
worst with goal setting.
I said, I will try to
set like short term goals
because I don't know where
I'm going to be in five years.
No idea.
And I think that stems from my childhood
where I'm just like,
I don't know what's going on.
So I'm just going to
take it one step at a time.
So I kind of always start
small and be like, okay,
this month I want to
try to like read more.
And that's my goal for this month.
And then I'll kind of
do that month to month.
This month is I want
to go to the gym more
because I used to be really
into the gym and then I stopped.
I don't know why, but I
just one day was like,
it happens.
It happens to all of us.
It's like they do anymore.
Yeah, that happens.
That's a great approach.
And because then it's realistic.
Yeah, I'm not going to disappoint myself.
If I'm like in five years,
I want to be this crazy, great person
with all this money.
And then I'm not.
Right, right.
Yeah.
And I'm sure it does
stem back to a little bit
of the instability that you grew up with
and maybe not
trusting five years from now.
Kind of like nothing's
promised kind of thing.
Yes, exactly.
So you're like, but today is.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm going to tackle today.
Exactly.
No, that's great.
So if you, what is your
goal this month is the gym.
And so you haven't
looked to next month yet.
You're just tackling this month.
Yeah, I take it one step at a time.
I'm the worst.
I love it.
I love it.
Now is Alex a goal setter?
Like he, I want to say yes,
but he's probably going to say no.
Like he'll have a
goal like for this year.
I just want to like knock
my numbers out of the park
for work or something like that.
But besides that, I
haven't really heard of anything.
I know he has his like step
by step plan to get married.
It's hilarious.
Oh my God.
Are you part of that plan?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
He said before,
before we even get engaged.
Okay, this is my step by step plan.
One, I have to have a big boy job.
I said, okay.
He goes, two, we have to get a dog.
And I go, okay.
And three, we have to buy a house
and then I'll propose to you.
Oh my goodness.
I love it.
That is goal setting.
That is, that is.
That is, that is what he wants.
He knows what he wants.
And I'm like, I
can't, I can't shit on it.
No, no, that is goal setting.
Those are all very realistic
and rational goals to success.
And you guys are
living, I always tell people
you're even considering marrying someone
you need to live together.
You have to live together.
You have to.
I don't know how people
are like getting engaged.
First of all, one of my
friends just got engaged.
She was together with
him for like nine months.
I was like, that's terrifying.
Yeah, you don't even totally know.
They're not even living together.
This is scary.
That's a risk.
That's a risky situation there.
Good luck.
Yeah.
I have a question though.
One thing, one of our
episodes that came up,
we did a short on it and
got a ton of activity around
just the corporate environment
and people shitting on corporate.
But like what you're doing
is you're working two jobs
plus going to school.
So in spite of not being a big goal
setter, that's a goal.
And where I'm going is
when we ended that episode,
it was like, people are really struggling
in the corporate world.
And they're like, well,
what the hell do you do?
Because I don't want to go corporate.
But I think one of the
answers is you work your ass off
and then you're doing that.
And how did you get into that mode where,
because you're grinding and
it is the way to get ahead.
It's the way to what you do at your age.
How did that happen?
Did you fall into it
or you set some goals?
So I think what was
happening is over the last year,
I realized that when I was
just working at the restaurant,
that I was like living kind of an
unhealthy lifestyle,
like going out way more with my coworkers
and staying out super late,
waking up super late in the day.
And just, I felt kind of
like drawn down at all times.
I was just like, oh, I
feel terrible at all times.
And then I remember Alex, I don't know,
he just said something to
me one day and he was like,
you know what, you need a big girl job.
And I was like, no, I don't.
That sounds terrifying.
No, thank you.
And then I was like,
I'll apply to this hospital.
And if they accept me, they accept me.
And unfortunately they did.
Wow.
And then I had a set
schedule and I was like, all right,
I'm going to work five days a week.
I'm going to have my two days off
and I'm going to call it a day.
And that's what I do.
And I kind of just like
look at my like Friday
and as like the best day of the week.
I'm like, this is great.
I can't wait.
So I don't know, with school being
involved in all of that,
it's kind of like, I don't know.
It all just flows together now.
Like, I don't know how I've made it work.
I'm going to be honest.
I just, it's finally made it work.
It's a lot, but you're doing it.
So for the longest time I
was just giving up shifts
and just sitting at home,
just playing video games.
And I was like, oh God,
I got to stop doing this.
No, it's almost like you reached a point
where you made a decision
and to make a change of
trajectory of your life.
And you did.
Exactly.
And like Brian said,
that is goal setting.
Yeah.
It did set whether you,
or maybe it was
subconscious goal setting.
I think it was.
Yeah, but you did it.
So are your grandparents still alive?
And how do they feel
about where you're at now?
They love it.
They think it's, well, at
first they were a little iffy
when I moved in with my boyfriend.
They were like, you're not married.
Okay.
And they're still Mormon, right?
Yeah.
How old are they?
My grandpa's turning 79 this year.
My grandma is probably 78.
I want to say.
They're still relatively young.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They act like it too.
My grandpa's retired like five times.
Oh, that's great.
He's so funny.
That's great.
He just keeps going back to Lowe's.
He loves Lowe's.
(both laughing) And they keep inviting him back.
So hey, take it.
That's awesome.
But yeah, they're pretty supportive.
They love Alex.
Oh my God.
Don't even get me started.
My grandma will text me and be like,
no, just how's Alex?
(both laughing)
I love it.
I love it.
And then how does your mom
feel about where you're at?
Oh, she's really, really proud of me.
Especially with like me being so close
to getting into nursing school.
She's like, finally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And how does she feel about Alex?
She loves Alex too.
She's like his number one supporter too.
Cause they're both in business.
Okay.
And so when he was like
applying to all of these jobs
fresh out of college,
she like sat on the
phone with him for hours
and built his resume.
That's wonderful.
Oh my God.
It was crazy.
I was like, wow.
That's great.
And things with Lee?
Things with Lee are great.
I actually, I look at
him as like my real dad now
cause I put my other dad
aside and I was like, you know,
he was never truly there for me.
So, and we learned that the hard way.
Yeah.
But yeah, I look at Lee
as like my real dad now.
And I tell everybody
that he's my stepdad,
but I look at him as like the real deal.
And he's happy with where you're at
in your life right now.
Yeah.
He's like the person that
you could call at 2 a.m.
and he'll pick up the phone.
Like he always is like the best.
That's wonderful.
And how do you feel about yourself?
I'm really proud of where I've come from
cause I know it's been a rocky road.
We should be.
And sometimes that's
hard to say about ourselves.
I hated myself for the longest time.
I was like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm not going anywhere.
And then I swear like Alex putting like,
like getting into my
life and telling me like,
you gotta like work your
ass off to get what you want.
I just like opened my eyes.
I was like, whoa.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it gave you-
Having a supportive
partner is very important too.
It is so important.
No, I'll be the first to say Brian,
he knows that I've said he saved me.
Like he, I don't know where I would be
if he hadn't entered my life.
And it's important to
have the right partner.
Do you feel like Alex
saved you in that sense?
100%.
I was at a very low place.
I mean, I came from that relationship
where it was just so terrible.
And then I was just
like always down on myself
and not thinking I was going anywhere
doing anything with my life.
And he came in and he kind
of just made my point of view
completely different.
Yeah.
And I thank him all the
time still to this day.
I'm like, you literally changed my life.
Like you have no idea.
Yeah.
And also he's proven that
he is a safe place for you
and you can trust him.
Yeah.
You know, and to get
to that point is huge.
It is.
So, and you guys will always have that.
No matter if let's say you
do get married and all that,
you'll always have that bond of respect,
understanding of each other.
And I think that
marriage has ups and downs,
but that's what will get you through
is having that foundation.
It sounds like you guys already have that
and it's so important.
It is.
It really is.
It's so important.
And you don't have that
foundation, you're screwed.
You're screwed.
And it's almost like I
always say friendship
before you get married is important.
But what you guys have
created is friendship
within your relationship.
And friendship is what maintains respect.
Exactly.
And that is what will
make the relationship last
because you have to
respect each other truly.
You have to.
So, you know, and you
should be so proud of yourself.
I am now I am.
You should be, yeah.
Everything you've gone through.
Do you wanna have kids?
Yeah, I think so.
You know, I go back
and forth all the time,
but like I'm pretty set on it now
where yeah, I think
I'm getting to the age
where I'm not
terrified of children anymore.
Because when I was
younger, I was like, oh God,
I don't wanna be caught
dead with one of those things.
Now I'm like to the age where I'm like,
eh, I could see kids not
anytime soon, but you know.
Yeah, yeah.
You can see it happening.
Yeah, no, and definitely take your time.
Oh, 100%.
You guys take your time.
No rush.
Remember we gotta get
through his five step plan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alex has his plan.
And you have nursing school.
Exactly.
We got stuff going on.
Yeah, but I will be curious
if you look into trauma at all.
I want to, because ever
since I started working the ICU,
I mean, I went from labor and delivery
to the complete opposite of like babies.
So, you know, it's, I know down the line,
if I wanted to go back to school
and become a nurse practitioner,
I'd wanna become a diabetic educator
to teach kids kind of
like all about diabetes
and kind of what that
nurse practitioner did for me.
So that's kind of like my,
if I go back to school
after this, that's my goal.
That's a goal.
There you go.
There we go.
Just go into the trap.
You don't think
you're going, but you are.
I know.
(both laughing)
Just sometimes saying
it, like planning it,
it can be overwhelming, but you are,
that's what's gotten you so far.
I like keeping a secret from myself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're bringing that down too.
Push it down.
(both laughing)
Listen, we can't thank you enough,
honestly, for coming
and sharing your story.
I think you're very inspiring.
I think that especially to other women,
young women or any teenage girls or boys
that hear your story,
it could be just the
thing to help them hold on.
Because as you know, I'm sure there's
some desolate moments
during times like that.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
And sometimes people just need to hear
from someone who's gone through that,
that, hey, there's life after this.
There is.
And you have to trust in
that and just get through it.
Because especially if
those teenage years,
every day is every day
and they don't see tomorrow.
Actually, have you ever thought of
counseling or anything?
Like going to counseling
or becoming a counselor?
I mean, I think you have
a lot to offer the world
and kids who come through your situation.
I think you could do
anything you put your mind to.
Have you ever
considered working with teens
or getting into that?
I did for a while.
I did, I wanted to be,
when I first started college,
I was like, I wanna be a
psychiatrist, I really do.
And then I was like, no, I don't.
Because I took psychology
my first year of college
and I was like, this is terrible.
It's like a mind bend.
And I was like, I can't do this.
It's like, I'm gonna
stick with nursing though.
And like, I could go into
psychiatric nursing though.
I definitely think that like in my path,
there will be a point where I can do like
some sort of counseling work
because I think I do have a lot of
knowledge about like,
like what's next after
your traumatic experience.
Because that's the thing is like,
when you're that young and
you go through so much stuff,
you're like, always like,
when is something
good gonna happen to me?
And I feel like I
could be a light for kids
and be like, listen,
it's terrible now I get it.
But like, it's gonna get a lot better.
Definitely, I agree.
And even as a nurse, I
feel you could probably go
and talk to kids, even
whether it's in schools,
like assemblies or something.
Might be a nice balance.
Because once you do get
into that counseling world,
you start to rehash
the stuff you push down.
You might wanna keep it there.
You have to bring it back up.
May not be the way to go.
Exactly.
You have to wait and see.
I know when I really
started forcing myself to unpack
was when I became a mother.
Because you don't wanna
project your shit onto them.
So you're like, oh, I gotta heal this
so I don't push it on.
And so that becomes a big motivator.
So you have that way down the line.
So you have time.
You gotta go through Alex's plan first.
Yeah, we gotta step by step, bless.
But again, thank you so
much for sharing everything
and trusting us with your story.
It's so inspiring.
And we're so excited to see,
we do wanna have you back in a few years
and see where you are.
I'll be back.
Whether you set those goals or not,
you are setting them.
So we will see where you're at.
And again, thank you
for sharing everything
with our listeners.
Because again, I think that
it's gonna be very meaningful
for a lot of people.
I think so too.
Yeah, thank you.
Good luck to you guys.
And maybe next time we see
you, there will be a dog.
Hopefully.
We'll know you're getting closer.
Yeah, the dog.
Here we get a dog.
Check that stuff.
Let's check too.
Okay.
(laughing) You're 66% of the way, or no, 40%.
Yeah, exactly.
So thank you to our
listeners for listening.
And if you have any
comments or questions,
we always love to hear from you.
And thank you again,
Brooke, for your story.
Absolutely.
We'll see you next time.
Thank you.
Bye.
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