# Episode 3 - All Things Music

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2024-08-27T14:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15641574-episode-3-all-things-music.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-3
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode3.html
- People: Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host)

## Summary

In this episode of Gen X Adulting, the hosts discuss their musical journeys, sharing memories of their first concerts, favorite bands, and the evolution of their musical tastes over the years. They also reflect on how music has played a significant role in their family life and the experiences they've shared with their children at concerts.

## Key takeaways

- First concerts often leave a lasting impression.
- Live music experiences can create strong family bonds.
- Different generations have unique musical influences.
- Concerts can vary greatly in energy and atmosphere.
- Music festivals provide opportunities for family connections.
- Taylor Swift is compared to Shakespeare for her lyrical depth.
- The cost of concert tickets has significantly increased over the years.

## FAQ

### What was the first concert mentioned in the episode?

The first concert mentioned was Brian Adams, attended by one of the hosts in eighth grade.

### How has music influenced the hosts' family life?

Music has been a constant in their family life, bonding them through shared concert experiences and creating lasting memories.

### What are some of the bands the hosts have seen live?

The hosts have seen a variety of bands including the Grateful Dead, In Excess, and Billy Strings, among others.

### Why do the hosts compare Taylor Swift to Shakespeare?

They compare her to Shakespeare due to her lyrical depth and the emotional connection her fans have with her music.

### What challenges do the hosts mention about attending concerts today?

They note that concert ticket prices have skyrocketed, making it expensive for families to attend shows together.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2Tg6fR8_ZM)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-3-all-things-music/id1764838823?i=1000666795127)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1fDi6Lcv1eof2s5iMGU5dL)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15641574-episode-3-all-things-music)

## Transcript

[Music]
All right, hello.
Welcome to Gen X Adulting.
This is episode three.
And today we are going
to be talking about music.
The musical influences
from when we grew up,
the various concerts we've been to,
the different music our kids are into,
the concerts we've gone to with them,
and some of our house bands,
which we all like as a family.
And we'll kind of see where that goes.
So I'm going to kick it off asking you,
what was your first
concert, and how old were you?
So my first concert was Brian Adams,
and I would think I was
either seventh or eighth grade.
I want to say eighth grade.
I saw him at Pine Knob
Amphitheater in Michigan.
I don't think, well, it wasn't called
Pine Knob for a while,
but I think it's back to
being called Pine Knob again.
But that was my first concert,
and I was hooked right from that.
And that's when he was in his prime 80s.
Yeah, he was popular.
It was all so popular.
How old were you again?
So if it was eighth
grade, I was probably 13.
Okay, yeah.
So that was my first concert,
and then I just
started going to concerts.
My next concert was
in excess in Portland.
I don't remember what
venue, but it was in Portland.
It was inside maybe the Schnitzer Hall.
I'm not sure.
But it was in excess.
We saw Robert Cray there.
That was awesome.
Yeah, we did.
It was a great venue.
Yeah.
So in excess.
And then I can't remember who I saw after
that because then that
just led me to in high school.
I saw the Grateful
Dead for the first time.
I'm sure I saw people in between there,
but I can't think of who it was like
Brian Adams and in excess are
really standing out to me.
Interesting.
What about you?
My first concert was Grateful Dead,
the giant stadium.
I think it was man, it was either I think
it was 1986 or 1987.
It was the Bob Dylan tour.
So it was the dead and Dylan.
And then after that, it was the fall
Madison Square Garden,
seeing the Grateful Dead again.
Yeah.
And then growing up on the East Coast,
you know, it gets cold.
There's not a whole lot
going on outdoors wise.
So the following spring, I
think it was the dead again,
and then got into the whole Crosby,
Stills and Nash, Neil Young.
And where I grew up,
right around New York City,
we had tons of acts that
came through all the time.
So we always had a lot of options.
Yeah.
I think once the dead started in my life,
once the dead became,
you know, once you're a dead
head, you're always dead head.
So after I saw my first
concert, I was hooked,
saw the dead as much as I
could on the West Coast.
It would have been a lot of it in
Northern California,
in San Francisco area, Shoreline,
Cal Expo, Oakland Coliseum, the Warfield.
I saw Jerry Garcia band at the Warfield.
And then in Oregon, it was at U of O and.
Yeah.
Awesome.
And yeah.
And then in Wisconsin
and then in Portland.
So, but then of course I saw Crosby,
Stills Nash and Young Crosby,
Stills and Nash.
I saw Blue Oyster Colts.
If those guys could have kept their
friendship together,
it would have been a lot better, right?
Yeah.
Because seeing CSN, why
Crosby, Stills Nash and Young.
Yeah.
First just CSN.
Yeah.
Slightly different.
Very different catalog of songs.
Yeah.
And I think that was still amazing.
It was wonderful.
Amazing.
I don't think I ever
saw Neil Young on his own.
Really?
I don't think so.
I thought, you know, what I
did see that I cherish was I saw
Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Yep.
I got to see him too once.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Got to see David Bowie once too.
Yeah, that's cool.
And David boat.
Yeah.
That was, I don't know if I should share
too many details of the
event, but, um, that was fun.
You also saw pink Floyd.
I never saw pink Floyd.
Yeah.
Pink Floyd's pretty slick.
Not obviously not in their
prime, but got to see pink Floyd.
I forget which maybe the delicate sound
of thunder tour or something
like that.
I don't know.
Late eighties giant stadium.
A lot of fun.
And then, uh, we saw
the almond brothers a lot.
Yep.
In New York city.
Yeah.
Um, I'm trying to think, you know, we
have our ticket stubs displayed
here in the house.
So we saw just a lot of jam
bands, like, um, blues traveler.
Yep.
I saw Joan Osborne.
She was amazing.
That's cool.
Yeah.
She was, she was amazing.
I love her.
Um,
She was such a good voice.
Such a blue sea voice.
Yes.
She is good.
She's great.
Um, yeah.
So, I mean, once I saw the
dead, well, I mean, obviously,
it started with Brian Adams.
I was hooked to live music, but once I
saw the dead, that was it for me.
What was your last concert you've seen?
Um, was Billy strings.
Yeah.
We just went and saw Billy strings.
Yeah.
Phenomenal.
Don't overplay it.
We don't want people going.
Yeah.
But, uh, unbelievable, unbelievable.
And just refreshing
and unique and amazing.
Amazing.
And, um, I think we have a, in the, the
grateful dead, right?
There's it's called shake down street.
It's the parking lot scene.
There is a Billy.
There's a shake down
scene at the Billy shows.
Yes.
Very cool.
It's cool.
I did a little shopping.
No, it was, it was very,
very, um, just encouraging.
And I was excited to see.
A youngin continue on
with the whole vibe.
His music is not the grateful dead.
It's his own unique music,
but the vibe is very similar.
If you know, there were points that
they're in the show where if you
closed your eyes, you would think it's
Garcia Grosman playing.
And that's true.
That's true.
So that, that's, that
was my most recent concert.
Here's a, not a trick question, but who
is the, what's a concert you've been
to where you, I don't want to say this,
we're disappointed, but you were,
you were surprised that your expectations
weren't met or it was just
different from what
you would, we're used to.
And I have a very
distinct answer for my, my own.
I'll be curious if it's, if it's the
same, but, and, and this is coming from a
dead head. That's, I probably have been
over a hundred shows.
I don't know, but I've
been to a lot of shows.
I, in the last year,
I guess, saw Bob Weir.
And Wolf brothers, Wolf brothers.
I've seen them before.
I guess for me, it's just too slow now.
It's just too slow.
And yeah, so I'm not
saying it was a bad concert.
I just, I, it wasn't what I expected and
I didn't enjoy it as much as I've
enjoyed other concerts of his.
Yeah, we did leave a little early.
Well, I wasn't going to admit that.
We're all admitted.
We'll have to own that.
Yeah.
It was slow and it's just a trip.
I'm not saying it's bad.
And there were people there that were
having the best time and I'm not
saying we weren't having a great time,
but it just, it's, I don't know.
For me in that moment, it
just, it didn't fit for me at all.
Yeah.
I was expecting more.
Yeah.
So that's for me.
What about you?
Mine would have to be the Eagles.
Oh, I saw the Eagles.
We saw them together.
And we did.
Oh, we did.
We did.
I've seen them twice.
Yeah.
I saw them once.
I could have gone again.
Right.
But I was once was enough.
And if you listen to the Eagles in your
car or your house on the
stereo, I honestly think
they're amazing, right?
They're one of the
best bands of all time.
But when you see them live, because when
you see them, when you hear them
in your car, whatever, you can easily
drive down the highway a hundred
miles an hour, you know, take it easy or
whatever songs, you know,
but when you see them
live, I found it totally slow.
Kind of what you're describing with, with
we were in both brothers.
That was my experience.
I was like, let's go, let's go.
And it was just like, okay, well, let's
all sit down and kind of sway
and hold hands.
Okay.
Okay.
So listen, I think what
you miss there is the Eagles.
I saw them twice.
They sounded exactly how they do when you
hear them on the radio.
And it doesn't translate though, for me.
No, for you, it doesn't translate.
Cause when you hear them on the radio,
you're doing something, you're driving
down the street in your car, your, you
know, whatever you're listening to them.
Usually while you're doing something in
your life, but to sit and just
listen to them, you need more, you need
more stimuli than just listening to them.
A hundred percent.
So if you compare that to a dead show or
a Jerry show or a Tom Petty show
or the almond brothers, Santana, hell
even Bob Dylan, right?
I guess that's just moving.
Whereas this, that they was, it was
almost like you're sitting in the
backyard on pay bales and just chilling.
But I think for a lot of people, that is
what they, there's a ton of people
that don't move at concerts.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
So I guess just to catch us up, we, we've
seen Tom Petty, we've seen Santana.
We've seen the black crows.
We've seen Bob Dylan.
Um, there was another one.
I just lost it.
But so we have, so most, a lot of the
music we see we're dancing, we're moving.
Um, but for a lot of red hot chili
peppers, we've seen them three times.
We've seen, um, Nickelback.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were actually great.
They were good.
The whole Nickelback hate is pretty much
just like they've come back around.
I think it's fake hate.
Yeah.
They're actually pretty good.
They're great.
So, cause we, so what we did is once we
had kids for their birthday and
sometimes for Christmas, but definitely
for their birthday, we would give them
tickets to a concert.
So our oldest son's first concert was
Bruce Springsteen in giant stadium.
Yeah.
He was five years old and our daughter's
first concert was red hot chili
peppers in the metal lands.
And she was six years old.
Yeah.
And then our youngest
first concert was actually, um,
the fresh beat band,
which was a show he watched.
Remember we took him.
That was in Miami.
That was in Miami.
I can't remember that.
Yeah.
But then his next real concert was dead
in company in Atlanta.
Yeah.
That was really his,
and he was seven, I think.
Um, but then for all of their birthdays,
we just continued to give them,
especially our, especially our older two.
Yeah.
We continue to give them tickets.
So by the time they, you know, we're in
high school, they'd seen tons of
concerts, spend a lot of
life, been to a lot of live music.
Dylan, our youngest hasn't been to as
many concerts as our older two.
Yeah.
Um, he doesn't have as
much of an interest right now.
Yeah.
Part of that's still
living in South Florida.
Our musical scene kind of sucks here.
Yes.
To be honest with you.
Yeah. That happened as we got to travel.
Yes. We left the Northeast.
We have taken him to
him to some concerts,
but he's in that weird stage right now,
ending middle school.
He's not really interested right now.
The interest won't be coming
back in high school and college.
Yeah.
So I do remember when
you were pregnant with him,
Nathan and I went to see further at bay
front in Miami, Miami.
That was awesome.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
That was their furthers first show of the
tour and first show in general.
Yeah.
It was pretty cool.
It was cool.
I forget how old
would that have made him?
He was probably eighth grade, I think.
Um, so he was there.
He, um, was 12.
He turned 13 right after Dylan was born.
Yeah.
Okay.
So he would have been 12.
So.
With the kids they've, so what happened
was is with our older son and our
youngest daughter,
once she was around 15,
he started taking her to music festivals
with him because he was really
into base nectar and that whole festival
scene with DJs and all of that.
So he took her to ultra
and they went to ultra.
Me too.
A few times.
You didn't go to ultra.
You didn't go to ultra.
You didn't go to ultra.
He took you to base nectar, but, um,
what that did for them is
it's a hard time to stay,
stay close for siblings
to stay close sometimes,
especially a boy and a girl.
But what it did for them was it gave them
something in common to do
together. Her being 15.
He was, I think his senior year.
Maybe she was 14. I don't know.
He was finishing high school.
So she might've, I don't remember when
that actually happened.
He might've been finishing high school or
it was when he was a freshman
in college, he took her whatever.
She was whatever age it was where I think
she wasn't technically allowed.
She wasn't allowed.
She needed to get an, borrow an ID,
fake ID saying she was 15
or 16 something like that.
She had to be 16.
Yeah.
So, um,
but then that continued for them is they
continued to go to music
festivals. They, they went to Okeechobee.
Um, they've gone to one in, um, Atlanta
and then seen base nectar.
They went to sweet water,
sweet water, sweet water for 20.
Yes.
Uh, which is a year ago.
Yes. Yeah.
I want to go to that, but, and then think
they're doing it this year.
I've not seen any promos for it.
There is some big
event, I think in Nashville.
Mm.
Um, yeah, it was on nugs.net
looking for streaming music.
Yeah.
strings is on tonight in St. Augustine.
Yeah.
I'm looking forward to that, but yeah.
Um, yeah, there's some event in Nashville
tonight, but the four 20 fest
isn't happening, which is a shame.
Last year was Joe Russo.
It was amazing.
It's a whole bunch of goose.
I think was there a bunch of jam bands.
Yeah.
Cause we, we listened to it
and watched it in real time.
And then they would see base nectar every
new year's Eve together.
So would you attended some of those? I
would Dylan and I would go along to
wherever it was. And while you guys were
at the concert, Dylan and I would
have our new year's Eve dinner together
and then cheers each other at
midnight. And then you guys would all
come in after the concert to the hotel
room. And those are really cool memories.
I, you know, I do think part of, I think
the conversation today really is
about that. Right. So, um, it's almost
like, you know, they say the,
the families that pray together stay
together. It's like families that list
in our, in my world or our world families
that enjoy music together, stay
together. Yes. And to your point, so
Nathan and I would go see base nectar
on new year's, which was completely
foreign to me, right?
I'm a quote unquote
deadhead. I'm that's not my scene.
Right.
Musically nectar was pretty phenomenal.
I remember the first show where we get
to, where'd we see him in Birmingham,
Alabama. And we get
there early and got the rail.
The guys needed the rail and I get now
why they wanted the rail,
the rails to hold onto. Right.
Um, as soon as the first notes drop, kids
just start rolling their heads.
And it wasn't, it wasn't head banging. It
was just, it was pretty wild,
pretty wild. And it's, it was, it's
reminiscent of like a good, like a
dead show or a Jerry show or any band
that really connects with their fans.
Tom Petty, Tom Petty's phenomenal, right?
Almond brothers are phenomenal in terms
of you've got the music and the,
you know, the, the music plays the crowd
and the crowd plays the music type
of thing. Well, yeah, it's, it's the
energy and that's probably what the
issue you had with the Eagles is you felt
that it was a low vibe, low energy
show from the crowd.
A hundred percent. The crowd's feedback
was just not right there.
That's a great, I think
you maybe hit it. Yeah.
But for those people that
was a highlight for them,
like the way we experience live music is
mind, body and soul.
We were movers were shakers. We feel feed
off the energy of the audience
as they feed off of us.
It's an experience for us.
It's not even, but that's not to say
we're not dancing
around and shit like that
over like at building strings. We didn't
get up and move, but it was a, you know,
chilling in the seat moving around. But
that's kind of a blue grassy jam type
of thing. And not all bands required you
to be dancing around and stuff.
Think about Tom Petty, right? I think we
were both still blown away by Tom Petty
20 years later. Yeah. We saw him in
Michigan. Then we saw him at the,
what's the hell is it? The Garden State.
What the hell was that place?
It's on the turnpike. Is it in Camden?
No, it's a Garden State
performing arts center.
I think I don't know what it's named now
in New Jersey, New Jersey,
but that's a small venue to see Tom Petty
there was amazing. That's yeah.
Tom Petty always put on a phenomenal
show. Tom Petty loved his fans.
He connected with them. He, one of the
best shows, honestly, but you know,
I just, I just remember that I saw
Fleetwood Mac and Fleetwood Mac was not
Fleetwood Mac. I'm sorry. I saw Stevie
Nicks and Stevie Nicks.
It was a wonderful show.
She was amazing, but, and the energy was
great, but it wasn't a show that I was
getting up and, but I thoroughly felt it
and enjoyed it. So I think it's just all,
you know, but now we, well, our youngest
has been to Red Hot Chili Peppers
cause we, we recently went as a family.
So for Christmas, a
lot of times we'll give
tickets to the family for one of the
Christmas gifts and for a later date.
What's crazy is if you take a family to a
concert today, you're
looking at a thousand bucks.
Yeah. I mean, you could, you could, I
mean, I think with
those, we were under that,
but it's, it's very expensive. It is very
expensive. It's, it's crazy. Everything's
very expensive, but like you said, it's
bonded us as a family.
We still go to see Grateful Dead cover
bands with our older
two. Dylan also has gone.
We, it's something we do together. It's a
family event that we do
together that keeps us all close.
We all relate to music. All of our kids
love music, even though Dylan isn't into
necessarily to going and
listening to what we like.
He's very much into his own music. Think
about it. Last night picking him up, he
was out with his friends.
We picked him up late last night. As soon
as we get in the car, can I
get the aux cord drops in his,
well, no, he wouldn't, that's old school.
He wanted to connect his phone. Yeah.
And then it was their music on the way
out the whole way home. So he's very much
connects to music, loves music.
I think, I don't know what I would do
without music. It's been such an integral
part of my entire existence and how even
raising children, we've utilized it.
You know, what's funny is into music as
we are, none of us can
play an instrument. No.
And I think I own two or three guitars, a
couple of basses, a mandolin. Yeah.
The only thing I can do is harmonica,
which is very semi
eccentric or weird or whatever.
But Nathan actually was a DJ. Yes. A DJ
through college and
actually he's awesome. Yes.
You know, he's not doing it right now,
but I think he could fall right back in
and be really good at it.
Absolutely. I would say out of all of us,
Nathan had the most musical talent.
Amazing DJ and great timing, all of that.
Hey, I can play the congas. True. True.
We do own those and we have a piano, but
no one can really play it. Yeah.
I don't know. We love music so much that
we surround ourselves with instruments in
the hopes that one of
us would figure it out.
I mean, Nathan and Kaya had piano lessons
and Nathan attributes a lot of stuff with
his DJing. Yeah, he didn't like it as a
kid. I don't think. No.
If you ask him now, he's like, hey, that
really helps me. He knows how to keep, he
knows how to count, keep
a beat, all of that stuff.
Yeah. Neither one of them liked it. But
and then Dylan didn't.
The thing with Dylan being so young
compared to them is by the time Dylan was
born, he was being dragged to all of
their sporting events. Yeah.
And he was just that kid where there just
wasn't time to make, you know, I feel bad
now. I know he doesn't care
and he would have hated it.
He's ecstatic about it. I mean, he's
fine. Trust me. He's
completely fine with everything he has.
But so I know there are people that
aren't music listeners and I always find
that interesting or that don't have a
band they're into or that
it hasn't spoken to them.
Like I find the whole thing with Taylor
Swift to be so interesting because I was
just thinking about this the other day.
Taylor Swift, honestly, in my opinion, is
the modern day Shakespeare for this
generation, I guess.
And but when I say generation, people
relate to her from age five to 80. She
doesn't even really have an age that she
she covers everybody.
So I the reason I say that Taylor Swift
is this generation's Shakespeare is
because her fans don't
just listen to her music.
They listen to what she's saying. They
listen to her poetry. Her lyrics are
poetry and they dissect it and they
analyze it and they they relate to it.
And it makes them laugh. It makes them
cry. They feel it like if you were
reading literature that you connect to.
It's it's it's literally poetry put to
music. And I think the artists who maybe
put her down or people that put her down,
but especially other
artists that put her down.
It's it's got it's just jealousy because
to write the way she does to be able to
write these songs and
there's so many of them.
There's so much inside of her that she
writes about. It's such a God given
talent and other not
every artist can do it.
You know, so many artists can just be
made to sound good, you know, whether
it's with the facts or, you know, what
they say or they look good.
They look the part. But for Taylor Swift,
it's coming from inside of her and then
it and then it comes out.
And so it's it's nothing that anyone can
ever kill or compare themselves to
because it's so
unique to just who she is.
You know, it's the comparison, the
Shakespeare, I find fascinating.
Everything you just said, I find
fascinating because I don't know if I've
ever heard her in any of her songs.
I do admire the social
phenomenon she's become.
And, you know, even yesterday or whenever
it was recently, she just dropped some
album in the middle
of the night, I think.
Yeah. And by the morning, the news was
all about the lyrics and who she's
dissing on or calling out
and who she's referring to.
And this whole swiftie phenomenon and
they want her to endorse a president so
that whoever she endorses, they think.
Right. Right. This is crazy. I'll have to
at least check it out, you know, as a
musical, as a fan of music, but the
Shakespeare comparison.
And that's pretty. It feels kind of I
don't know. It's wild.
I'm blown away by that.
Well, when I say that, I don't mean
literally she writes like
that. No, I know what you mean.
But it elicits a visceral response from
the people that are paying attention.
Right. But not just to her music or her
voice or her performance, but literally
to what she has written.
It's it. Yeah, no, I think where you're
going and in from what I've seen. So she
writes about she was talking about, I
think, recently, I pick all this up and
whatever I read about it.
But I guess she's had conflict with Kim
Kardashian, probably because the the
Kanye and that whole dickhead movie
pulled at the Grammys or whatever it was.
Now, it's more than that. But yes,
there's probably a whole lot more than
that. And then the whole recording. So
it's crazy. I know the shit because I
have a very minor interest in it.
But she I guess she talked about she
moved out of country, rented a place for
a year and wasn't talking to anybody,
really went into a deep dark spot or
place with all this.
Which so she feels it, right? She she she
takes it to heart. And then her outlet is
is the lyrics. Right. And the music.
She's she is a writer.
And she is a poet. I really believe that
100 percent who happens to sing and play
musical instruments. I think her first I
could be totally wrong. I don't know her.
But she seems like a genuinely decent
person. Oh, yes. This whole Travis Kelsey
thing and the Chiefs thing and the you
know, the the other players that have met
her and their families have
only spoken very highly of her.
You know, someone talked about how in the
booth, how she actually was cleaning shit
up in the booth, putting garbage away,
hoping, you know, so she's a normal
person. Her parents are normal.
She just happens to have this phenomenal
talent and ability to.
I don't know what it is, but to to drive
it to Uber success. It's amazing,
actually. Well, she's an incredibly
hardworking person.
She works her ass off.
But I think a lot of it is that she's
willing to take the risk to put out there
what's inside of her head, what's inside
of her heart. And she
has such a talent to write.
And then she just happens to also be a
talented singer and musician because she
plays musical instruments. She what does
she play? She plays guitar. I think she
plays piano. Again, I'm not.
I'm you know what's funny? I think you're
a closet swifty and it's coming out.
Maybe, but I don't know now that I'm just
kidding. That's like somebody saying like
that. You're a deadhead because you know
a little bit about the great.
I'm not going to say that because there
are real swifties and they know what
they're talking about. I don't know what
I'm talking about, except this is my
opinion from what I've experienced.
I have a daughter who is, I would say a
swifty. She loves Taylor Swift. So I just
think this whole era's tour is
phenomenal. She's performing for three
and a half hours
straight. It's just phenomenal.
And she's, you know, I she again, I don't
know shit either. I know less than shit.
It's too. You're hearing two Gen Xers
talk about Taylor Swift.
Yeah, this is pretty wild. I didn't think
we'd be talking about this as a topic.
But I think I would say what I admire
about her is she is a young
woman who's driving her career.
She seems to be very much in charge of
the decisions that are being made. And
and I think, you know, you watch the news
when she's doing things and I think she's
genuinely a decent person.
As she goes around the globe and there's
different I can't even you know, I'm just
trying to think I think somebody didn't
somebody maybe die at one of her shows or
en route to it or something. But
something tragic happened.
Yeah, she took pause to acknowledge it.
Absolutely. Kind of maybe honor it or
just at least acknowledge it. Yeah, a lot
of performers. I don't know if they would
do that or not. I don't know.
I think that she definitely has good
karma on her side. And I think she seems
to be a very decent person. She's very
close with her parents. They're with her.
They've been guiding her.
I'm sure protecting her.
I think she's probably a family person. I
think she's got good morals and values.
But then on top of that, I really do
think her true talent is writing. And
she's a poet. She's a modern day poet.
And her vehicle for that is music and
performance. And what's so amazing is you
have her fans truly listening to the
words of what she's writing. And like I
said, analyzing it and reading it and
just appreciating it in a different way
than you would just a song that you
happen to like, if that makes sense.
There is a certain danger with that in
that you if you put too much emphasis and
what she's writing and saying and saying
that go a little off
and go a little crazy.
Because I do think she has a huge
influence. But yeah, but her stuff.
There's I don't think she's written
anything that's gonna be, you know, you
know, so just just I know it sounds crazy
what I said, but I do
think she is the modern day.
I do think Taylor Swift is the modern day
Shakespeare. And I'm sure that people
will would think I'm crazy for saying
that. But I 100% stand by that.
You know, it was it reminds me. We're
saying Nathan's the most talented. Kaya
sang. Kaya sang in a thing. Oh my gosh.
We totally forgot about it. Yes. And she
wrote lyrics. Yes. So, and that was fun.
That's I think that's where I get some of
my admiration of Taylor Swift
is because Kaya was in a band.
And it's hard. Yeah, right. And once if
you're in a band, you're up there on a
stage. And if if you're pretty at all,
or, you know, attractive at all, you
people snipe you, you're a target, you've
got a target on your back now. And that's
a Taylor Swift phenomenon, right?
That that one jackass at the Grammys or
whatever she did, she had raving success
and won an award or album
of the year, whatever it was.
But we saw that even with Kai, we're
singing, you know, you're out there. So
it's not it's not an easy thing. No, I
can't believe we forgot that. So our
daughter did sing in seventh and eighth
grade, she let she was the lead singer of
a band. And that was an incredible time.
And just to watch her get up there and
know the lyrics and know how to to
perform it. And then later on to write
some of her own lyrics.
And I think that's a great experience. What a great experience that was it so
and like you said, hard work challenging.
So to have that be a career move and then
to bring it to such stardom is just mind
mind blowing. Yeah, you know, but I mean,
look at Bob Dylan, right? I mean, what a
lyricist there. And I but I'm not
comparing him to Shakespeare. Yeah,
because I think that the reason Robert
Hunter Bob Dylan. Yeah.
Great, great lyricists. We named our son
Dylan after Bob Dylan. Yeah. Amazing
lyricists. And you would say Robert
Hunter's lyrics have reached 10s of 1000s
of people of dead heads, right? So you
could compare it right, Swifties and dead
heads, you could say, but see with the
dead, it's different. Because what got me
with the dead, and I think so many people
was the music was the musicians,
especially Jerry Garcia playing guitar,
and then the lyrics.
And then the lyrics, right? For me, I can
speak it was the music and then the
lyrics for Taylor Swift. It's the lyrics
first, like, they are reading it like a
book. So that's what I find so
interesting. Now, Bob Dylan, or her or
her lyrics cryptic, like Bob, Bob Dylan
tells a story, right? Robert Hunter tells
a story, but he also leaves you hanging.
Right. And it's very open for
interpretation. Yeah, john Perry Barlow,
the other half of the lit,
lyrics for the day, right? Bobby side of
things, right? He tells a story. Mexicali
blues, right? Me and my own. These are
stories that you can kind of travel along
and see but then you go to hunter with
Terrapin station. It's like, okay, I got
kind of halfway there. But what's what's
the rest of the still so she more than
tells the story. And yes, there's a lot a
lot of it's cryptic. Yes, it she takes
you on a ride. Interesting. It's, it's,
you should check it
out. You should really
check her out. Honestly, boy, that's a
leap. I will just because I don't I'm not
I don't think I'm missing out on
something because it's I don't but she's
got something going there. Oh, yes. In to
transcend the generations kind of like
what you were talking about earlier.
There has to be some some talent, some
something there that
that's good for everybody.
Because the dead are like that the dead.
You know, when when you you know, we've
fortunately we've got to see them live on
stage. And that's an amazing thing. Yeah.
And you know, when I hopped on, I think I
was 15 years old. And when we when it was
over, it was probably what 2526 or
something. I don't even know maybe a
little bit. Like the last show 95.
Like we were 2424. Yeah. Yeah. And but
there were lots of young kids there. So
there were kids all the way up to old
timers. Yes. Oh, yeah, the dead
transcendent generations. But that was, I
think, a lot of it also family handing it
down to family, like we've done with our
kids, but there are then they bring
friends, you know, and then there's new
dead heads born every day.
Even go into nectar. I was the literally
there were me and four or five other dads
there my age. And we look like Narks.
Yeah. Right. Because there's it's pretty
funny when there's cops standing there
and you're walking around the halls.
Everyone's slightly intoxicated with
whatever anybody's on. Yes. And, you
know, I always said this guilty feeling
of I know these cops think I'm a narc,
but then the kids thought I wasn't dark.
Well, the cops might have thought, okay,
this guy's undercover or just some
weirdo, he's selling drugs. And the kids,
I think thought it was an
arc. It was pretty funny.
Yeah. But I think it goes to as far as
you getting included in that you being
invited and brought into their world
because our Grateful Dead world was also
a lot of there was drugs, there was
alcohol, there was all kinds of stuff
going on. The bass nectar and that whole
DJ music festival
festival world. Same thing.
Drugs, alcohol lot going on very in
different drugs, different drugs. I mean,
to me, it seems harder drugs. Yeah,
definitely. But I'm not judging. But for
our your son to, and your daughter to
include you in that I think is such a
test. Yeah, it's a testament to the
relationship you've built with them. They
trust you to bring you into that world.
That's so foreign. You're one of four or
five men your age, everyone else's kids.
Yeah, on different drugs, probably. So it
just, I think showed such a level of
trust that they had for you.
And no, I agree. And it was awesome. It's
priceless memories. And actually, I'm you
know, it gets you closer to their friends
as well. Like we saw nectar in Atlanta
underneath the Mercedes Benz Stadium, I
think it was in the
basement. And we were probably 20
feet from the stage. In order to do that,
you have to get there three or four hours
early. So you're just standing there. So
we're just chilling. And it was fun.
Yeah, that was cool.
No, I think it to music definitely has
been a way we started the kids with
music. Well, we started with music. I
should say what bonded us as a couple.
Yeah. Well, as friends, we were friends
for over three years before we got
together. Very good friends. What bonded
us as friends was the dead.
And seeing live music. So we would do
that together do that with groups of
friends, like we never did just the two
of us when we were friends, but with
groups of friends, all that. And then
that commonality of our love for the
grateful dead and for music has continued
through our entire 32 years of being
together. We just went to Tampa last
weekend and saw Billy strings, just the
two of us. It's something that we have
that through everything through raising
kids, through all the
stuff that goes on in marriage.
We've had that music
that's kept us bonded.
I want to ask you a question in a second,
but just going back to the origins of say
us and music, we did get to see fish.
What was that 1992 or three? Yeah. In the
Brit ballroom on the campus of Southern
Oregon State College at the time. Now
it's Southern Oregon,
Southern Oregon University.
And this is we got to see fish before
fish was fish. And they were doing the
college tours, the bar tours, and jumping
on trampolines and playing vacuums and
shit. That was pretty wild stuff.
I think it was 92. I think. I think there
was 100 people. We were in like a little
almost like the size of a
gymnasium. And there was a stage.
It was like an elementary school or an
old Catholic elementary school cafeteria
with the wooden stage and the curtain in
the background. Yeah. 100 people, maybe
200 people. I don't even think there was
200 people there. I don't know. Our
friend, Alisa, was the promoter. Yeah,
she brought in fish.
And even a local Eugene band called Nine
Days Wonder was pretty cool. They weren't
there at the same night though. No, no,
no, no. They had come a different time. I
love Nine Days Wonder. They were great.
And then do you remember Renegade Saints?
Yeah, totally. They were awesome. But
what were Renegade Saints? Were they an
offshoot of Nine Days? Or were they?
I don't remember. The Nine Days had I
want to say the bassist who was the
primary singer, I think. I don't know. A
long time ago. I don't know. But fish,
seen fish with 100 people. They were so
young. They jumped on the trampolines.
Like my drink was on the stage. And
they're right there. Yeah, they're right
in front of me. Well, what was cool about
that is, and this is going way back to
before the whole micro craft brewery.
Thing really blew up, right? Yeah, well,
just today, it's amazing. Right? You got
a total wine. There's hundreds of choices
back then. It was pretty small. And I
recall, I think it was, we got like,
there was a, either a full or a pony keg
or something from Sierra Nevada brewing.
Yes, which was in Chico at the time, I
think Chico, California. So we could get
it through the local distributor. But
yeah, there was a little
beer garden there. And other
things. You're right. My beer was on the
stage and sitting there looking up at
Trey and Gordon. And it was crazy. It
really does not get better than that
moment. Yeah. Have we seen fish? No,
we've never seen because well, that was
before we watch their movement. Yeah. And
there it took off like the dead. And
there's, of course, fish heads diehard
fish heads. Yeah, we just never that that
to see it's like seeing the grateful
dead with 100 people. And like, I don't
know, I guess we could have continued
that but we were just so we're more dead
heads, you know, then fish heads. Yeah,
it's a different sound. I like fish. I
love Yeah, but it's a lot. And it was a
lot of things are going on back then. I
think we were having kids. No, I mean,
even in college, though, we didn't we
didn't jump on the fish
train. It was just the
different scene. And it was, you know,
even even like the dead back then ever,
you know, the last few shows, it had
really changed the drugs that people were
bringing to the shows that change that is
just different. It was, yeah, you know,
this different. And same with fish fish
was a lot of Molly and X whatever.
They're the same thing, I guess, but just
different. Yeah. And then I think for us
during our 20s, we got married, we
started having kids. Yeah.
You're not just gonna go run
off and see concerts, like, or shows like
you used to. Yeah. But that was that was
something. But to go back to so we've had
music as a constant in our marriage,
always, to come back to it's, it's been
that safe space, we can always go back to
the thing that can bond us together, when
everything's crazy. And then we gave that
to our children, when they were young,
they acquired such a love of music. And
then it bonded them.
Together to have their own relationships.
Yeah. And, you know, separate from us.
And then now, as a family, we're all
bonded together with music. So it's kept,
we each have our own relationships
individually. And then we experience it
together. Yeah, it's really kept us
close. It's one of the things that's kept
us close as a family is music. There's no
question. No doubt.
There's no question about that.
Yeah, I mean, just the other day, I think
it was telling you I get a text from
Nathan about, Hey, check out this Joe
Russo stuff. It's crazy. It was crazy. It
was very good. Yeah. The question I had,
I was thinking of. I don't know how old
Kaya was, but I know you used to, you've
been down to like, Hard Rock and all
these different shows,
right? You guys went to
Let me start naming those styles or
whatever. No, no, no, let me. Okay. So,
oh my goodness. I forgot about that whole
part. It's a whole generation. I took
Kaya. Yep. I took Kaya to every One
Direction concert from the first one.
That's the last one they did. That was
awesome. That's what they're taught such
talents. They really are such talents,
talents and such great
people. But to see them perform.
They were in their teens. Some of them
were like 16, I think 17. And then to
watch, they watch them evolve as they
have in their own solo careers has been
really cool. So we saw One Direction. We
saw Rihanna. Do you remember that we took
Kaya for her birthday and we dragged
Nathan with us. Dylan wasn't born yet to
Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus concert. Do
you remember that? It
was for Kaya's birthday.
I don't know. Did I go? Where was it?
We dragged Nathan. It was down at the PNC
bank centers. Sunrise. And it was the
Hannah Montana concert.
I think I remember screaming, right?
Where the girls just screaming and out of
control. Yeah. It was the kids. There was
kids. And then Jonas Brothers. I took her
to Jonas Brothers. Did I say Rihanna
already? We saw
Rihanna. We saw Ed Sheeran.
I saw Pitbull with Enrique Iglesias a
couple times. Saw LMFAO. Saw Kesha. And
this is all when they were in their
prime. And then there's a thing here
called Jingle Ball. And there's a like,
oh, it's not iced tea. Oh my gosh. I
can't think of the name.
No, no. Oh, 50 Cent. Okay. So we saw 50
Cent and a bunch of so many bands that
were popular at that time that I can't
think off the top of my head. 311.
That's for that kind of music. Miami's
great. South Florida's great. Yes. For
good music? Not so good. Well, so yes.
For popular music. Yeah. Well, oh, well,
we took Nathan to see Chris Cornell.
Down in Miami. Yeah. And that was, that
was awesome. Right before he passed away.
Yeah. So I'm so grateful for that. That
was acoustic Chris Cornell at the Jackie
Gleason theater. Yeah, that was amazing.
Yeah. That was so cool because that was
an actual like a concert hall, a symphony
type of hall. And he played acoustically
there. That was, I forgot about that.
That was amazing. Yeah. That was
wonderful. And it's awesome that he came
down this far. Yeah.
Cause so many people don't. Yeah. So it's
funny because when people come down to
South Florida, we got everyone goes,
you're so excited that there's someone
here. And then Kai, of course, likes Lana
del Rey. And she's played me a lot of her
stuff. I haven't seen her, but I really
like her stuff. Kai has gone to a lot of
country concerts because they come down
here. Yeah. But she's, she's seen a lot
of stuff on her own as has Nathan. So I
forgot about that whole time.
Yeah. When I was anyone that came, we
went. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, you would
organize it. You guys would get a bunch
of girls and other moms and yeah. Oh,
Demi Lovato. I'm trying to think. I don't
think we ever saw Selena Gomez. We never
saw Justin Bieber. Could never get
tickets to that. But it was that time. It
was that 2009 or 10
till or even 2008 to 2023.
I don't know. It's just that timeframe.
There was so much going on. Yeah. So we
were, we saw it all. I'm sure I'm
forgetting people that we saw, but it was
great and it was fun. So we had that time
together. And that was mainly her and I.
Yeah. So I was like mother daughter.
We've talked about that. When One
Direction reunites, cause they will. I'm
going. I said, I don't care if you know
you and your friends are going, I'm
coming. Cause I went to every concert and
you know, Harry Styles has, well, she
just saw Louis Tomlinson.
But Harry Styles, we weren't able to get
tickets to. Oh, really? They were very
expensive. They're all very expensive.
Yeah. It was too much. So I'm willing to
pay high to a certain extent, but then it
gets to it's ridiculous. Same with Taylor
Swift. I remember, you know, back in the
day in the mid eighties, you could get
tickets for 20 bucks or something. And I
remember I went to a show.
And I remember I was like, Oh, I'm going
to sell the debt at the spectrum. And in
Philadelphia drove down from New Jersey,
like two, two and a half hours. We get
there and the scalper selling tickets
for, I think we bought two tickets for
$60 each. And I was like,
man, this is expensive. Yeah.
Turned out to be one of my favorite
shows. They did a second set, Scarlet
Fire, and the whole place was bouncing
around and you could feel the whole
stadium moving. But it was, you know, 60
bucks back then was like, man, this is
crazy. These guys are greedy. Now 60
bucks is what
Ticketmaster sells them for.
And the aftermarket's probably 160 bucks,
you know, or 560 bucks, whatever it might
be. There's nothing that Ticketmaster
sells for 60 bucks. The cheapest you're
going to find is, I don't even know.
Well, it's 60 before fees and taxes and
local corruption. And now you're up to
160 bucks. I haven't seen even 60 as a
starting price on anything. Really? Yeah.
No, it's ridiculous. We used to go to
concerts for 10 bucks. Yeah. It depended
on who you were going to see if it was a
smaller venue or something, 10, 15 bucks.
It's hard to believe.
Actually, this is, I wanted to ask you
about this and I'll start it off with, to
your point, we used to see concerts are
free. So growing up in the New York
metropolitan area, we had a place, what
the hell's the name of the
place that's going to escape me?
A Waterloo village. So I got to see like
Steve Miller band there, the Almond
Brothers, Blues Traveler, Three Dog
Night, and for free. And what we would do
is, this is crazy. And this is what I'm
curious. Well, I'll plant the seeds. So
you think about local, you know, each,
each, each area, say metropolitan area,
that everybody's kind of got the,
probably some stories about their local
music scene. But what we used to do, we'd
go to Waterloo village.
And we would, and this is an high school.
They had these little snow fence type of
thing. We call them snow fences. They're
like the woodlath with the metal, you
know, just this temporary thing you
unroll it and stand it up.
And now you've got a fence.
What we would do is you'd go to these
concerts, we'd get pretty drunk as you
know, high schoolers. But you'd wait till
somebody that you didn't know that wasn't
part of your group hop the fence and make
a run for it. And then all the New Jersey
State troopers would converge on that
person. And once they did that, that's
your chance to hop the fence and make
your own run. That was a local thing.
That was like a thing to do.
Another thing, and that was a lot of fun.
We saw a lot of good music. But another
fun thing that you got to experience is
going to see the dead at Madison Square
Garden and driving to Hoboken parking,
getting on the path, taking the train
over to what was it like the
33rd Street station, I think.
Then you get out and you walk and you go
see the dead and then, and it's a whole
scene there, then you come out and you
reverse it all right at one, two in the
morning. So phenomenal experiences.
Thousands of people did that over
probably dozens of years. Do you have
anything like that, say, in Portland? I
kind of doubt it, but maybe you do.
Nothing that I can think of. I mean, the
Country Fair obviously is the traditional
thing. Yeah, that's the traditional
gathering in Oregon. But you don't really
sneak into it. I'm sure there's people
that have snuck into it.
I'm not even saying the the sneaking part
is just a an aspect of it. Yeah, but the
you know, kind of like that whole going
to see the dead in the garden. No one
lives in Manhattan. So you're going into
the city and everyone would converge
whether you're in Long Island or
Westchester County or Sussex County, New
Jersey or Morristown or whatever. There
was a way to get there.
And then you had this common convergence
of people there. And then you would all
spread and go back to wherever you came
from. The closest maybe is
like the Bay Area, right? When?
I mean, I would think the Country Fair is
I mean, as far as no, nothing in Oregon
like that, because in Portland, you would
just go to the venue that where it was
Memorial Coliseum. Yep.
And that's where you or the
So you just drive down there type of
thing or yeah, real public
transportation. No, well, I mean, Max
showed up. But no, everyone drove and Max
was the what he called the try not the
thing what I'm describing is maybe unique
to the New York metro area, then.
Well, I mean, probably happens here in
Miami when there's somebody playing at
Hard Rock or down there. Then you have
people coming from all areas, you know,
because I mean, I don't know. I guess in
Portland, it's just it was a smaller
area. So even if you are coming from the
suburbs, it didn't you didn't feel the
convergence in that same way, just
because I don't know. I didn't notice it.
It could have been happening. I didn't
notice anything like that.
The only time I really recognize the
convergence as you're talking about is
the Oregon Country Fair. Or when Jerry
died that concert at Golden Gate Park,
which I went to that. Yeah. That was a
whole bunch of different
performers. And, and also when
No, I'm sorry, that wasn't when Jerry
died. That was when Bill Graham died.
Yeah, when Bill Graham died, a whole
bunch of performers came and there was a
convergence to Golden Gate to San
Francisco into Golden Gate Park. I saw I
witnessed that. Yeah. Yeah. When Jerry
died, we just went down downtown Portland
and there was a gathering there. But no,
not whenever there was a concert. I'm
sure it happens in bigger cities.
Probably. And that's what I'm thinking is
I remember we passed through
Buffalo when we were in the
area and we were up in that area and it
was a Sunday afternoon. Yeah. And we're
like 100 miles outside of Buffalo at a
rest stop getting gas. And there's all
these people in their Buffalo Bills
jackets. Yeah, they were either going or
coming to the game. I have a feeling
maybe that was a local thing like growing
up 50 miles, 45 miles outside in New
York. And you go to school, you get out
of school at 220 who's driving and
because we're going to
drive, go see the dead and
we're driving the Hoboken, we're taking
the train over and that was just a thing.
It was just a thing that that's how you
did it. And I'm sure there's examples of
that. But I don't know. Maybe a local
phenomenon. When the dead was in town,
they were at you in Eugene, which was
like two and a half hours or whatever.
You would drive there, but and you would
drive past people that had dead stickers
on their cars and honking each other and
stuff. But it was all
driving. Yeah. None of it was in
a subway or anything like that. And even
driving down to the Bay Area, there's
just, you would drive past people with
dead stickers and you would wave to them.
Yes. That's probably the closest. Yeah.
Yeah. I know. The West Coast is just so
much more spread out and fast. Yeah. I
guess then the Northeast. We did have the
what you're describing. We went to a show
at Foxborough,
Massachusetts and drove up the 95th.
Jersey to 95. So that that whole thing
you see dead dead stickers on cars or
people are passing you your past. Yeah.
Yeah. So I mean, it's definitely
definitely a community. And when I see
dead stickers now, I'm like, Oh, yeah,
you know, we're we are everywhere. That's
the same, right? Yeah. So and again,
that's the thing that's stayed with us. I
would say with marriage and with raising
children, there's so many ups and downs
and there's so many variables and there's
so many different experiences
and so many seasons of life.
And I would say the one constant for us
has been our love of the grateful dead.
That music has sustained us through it
all. We can always come back to that.
It's always the positive, happy place to
come back to, especially if we're
listening to it live somewhere. It's like
a realignment, a readjustment, a reset
every time. And I know mentally it has
saved me a lot of time, a lot of times.
So and I'm sure that
people feel that way about other
music. And then there's people that don't
relate to music in that way. And I can't
imagine going through life without having
that. And it's something that I feel
we've given our children. I really do.
They they know music's important. And
they it's vital in their own lives. Yeah,
for themselves. Yeah. So, yeah. Cool. So
I think that wraps up our little
discussion about music. Yeah. Today.
Hopefully, someone else
out there was able to relate to what we
were saying. I would love to hear other
people's stories related to kind of what
I'm describing of how we would go to
school, knowing we're going to go see a
concert that night. It could
be the dead. It could be the
East Crosby stills in Nash, you know,
pink foot anything we went to in New
York, or that giant stadium metropolitan
area. It was the we had a routine, you
kind of got your routine down. I'm
curious if in other metropolitan areas,
or just people in general, if they had
those same type of things. It's part of
who I am. And it's, it's so I'm curious.
I'd love to hear anybody's if the stories
about that or whatever.
I mean, I feel like whenever we would go
to a Grateful Dead show, as you got
closer to the show, you felt the
convergence. What I mean, I know when I
went in Arizona, went to Arizona, I drove
from Oregon to Arizona. And I didn't feel
that convergence. I don't know if it's as
much of a convergence as it is, there's
only so many ways to get there. And, and
there's just everybody there. Because
when the dead would let out shows let out
at the garden, you're getting on the
path. And there is a
last train. You kind of got to get there.
And it's after the show, people are still
either tripping or high, they're drunk,
whatever. So you go underground, you're
in the subways, you're, you're down there
with a bunch of people. Yeah. Are all in
different states of mind with this
collective experience we just had. And
they're all kind of piecing it together.
So it's kind of that
interesting. No, I don't. I can't relate
to that at all growing up
in Oregon. Yeah, no, it's a
I'd be curious if people that grew up in
the Bay Area do relate to that they have
Bart. But I don't know that I don't think
it's the same thing. Yeah, I don't think
so. I think that feels very Northeast, or
at least maybe just New York could be
because even Miami, you have people just
try they take the Tri rail. Now I bet if
after a concert, if you take the Tri
rail, or what's the one that we have done
here, that goes really fast.
Oh, the we have Tri rail and we have
Brightline. Brightline. Yeah. So if you
get on one of those, maybe, I bet you're
on there with after a concert with a
bunch of other people like talking about
it. But so many people drive. Yeah.
Because I don't know. So we don't have a
great transportation system. Well, we do
actually are tri railing, right? Line's
pretty good. But you know, you so big
here. I bet people in Chicago, maybe have
that. Because Chicago's got all the
L going in. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
It'd be interesting. So if anyone out
there would love to comment and share
their experience, we would love to hear
it. Yeah, cool. Yeah. All
right. Take care. Take it easy.