# Episode 35 - GenZ Series: Ali

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2025-06-05T01:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/17278037-episode-35-genz-series-ali.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-35
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode35.html
- People: Ali (guest), Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host)
- Topics: GenZ

## Summary

In this episode of the GenX Adulting podcast, host interviews Ali, a member of the Zillennial micro-generation, about his experiences growing up in Morocco and navigating life in the U.S. Ali shares insights on social media evolution, cultural differences, and the challenges of adapting to life in America after moving back from Morocco.

## Key takeaways

- Ali identifies as a Zillennial, having grown up with limited access to social media during childhood.
- He experienced a unique upbringing in Morocco before moving to the U.S. at a young age.
- Ali highlights the evolution of social media from Facebook to Instagram and its impact on youth.
- He discusses the challenges of maintaining a positive online presence while growing up.
- Ali shares insights on Moroccan culture, including family dynamics and traditional foods.
- He emphasizes the importance of community and family ties in both Morocco and the U.S.
- Ali reflects on his college experience, including the challenges of balancing work and studies.

## FAQ

### What is a Zillennial?

A Zillennial is a micro-generation that bridges the gap between Millennials and Gen Z, characterized by growing up with limited technology and social media access during childhood.

### How did Ali's upbringing in Morocco influence his life in the U.S.?

Ali's upbringing in Morocco instilled strong family values and cultural traditions, which he carried with him when he moved to the U.S., helping him navigate the challenges of adapting to a new environment.

### What are some traditional Moroccan foods mentioned by Ali?

Ali mentions traditional Moroccan dishes such as tagine, couscous, and bastilla, highlighting the rich culinary culture of Morocco.

### How did Ali adapt to life in America after moving from Morocco?

Ali adapted to life in America by embracing new experiences, navigating cultural differences, and building a supportive community through friendships and fraternity life.

### What challenges did Ali face with social media during his upbringing?

Ali faced challenges with maintaining a positive online presence and dealing with the fleeting nature of adolescent emotions expressed on social media platforms.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMzMkMFa3dE)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-35-genz-series-ali/id1764838823?i=1000711238157)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oKaRDjYPz9huHkeeKnxS9)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/17278037-episode-35-genz-series-ali)

## Transcript

[Music]
Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we have
Ali with us. Welcome to the studio.
Thanks for having me.
We're very happy to have you. Our first
question is always, when were you born?
1998.
1998. So you are a Gen Z and you are part
of that cusp micro
generation that is also a Zillennial.
Have you heard of that?
I have not.
So, really? Okay. So the Zillennials,
basically they're the small micro
generation that grew up pretty technology
free as far as phones and social media.
And that stuff is more introduced in late
middle school, high school.
So you guys really got the privilege of
having a childhood that did not involve
social media and did not
involve that 24-7 access of phones.
And then you also got the privilege of
experiencing the birth of all that.
You know, when you were probably more of a
mature age and can handle it versus the
young Gen Z's and the Gen Alpha's now,
which are social media kids.
Yeah. So you kind of got the best of both
worlds. I always say you had a bit of an
old fashioned upbringing where social media
wasn't present when
you're 8, 9, 10 years old.
You can probably relate to the younger
millennial generation and also to Gen Z's
that are a few years younger than you.
So you kind of have a foot in each
generation a little
bit. Does that make sense?
Yeah, that does make sense. I think I'd
agree with that, especially
because we talk about social media.
I was on social media probably around 14
years old on Facebook.
I was the primary social media back then.
But I think the difference
was it wasn't on my phone.
So my first phone, I got my first phone
when I was 13 and it was a
Nokia that could call my parents.
That's all I had on there. I had the game
Snake on there. That's about it.
But if I wanted to go on social media, I'd
have to be at home on my laptop.
And that was Facebook, right?
You were after the MySpace, right?
I did not have MySpace.
I think that cut off and then
the older Gen Z's was Facebook.
And then Snapchat, I don't think, and
Instagram, that was more what, high school?
I think I got Instagram
around 10th grade, I would say.
So I was 15, 14, 15.
Yeah, and even Instagram back
then was a little different.
I was posting pictures
of my meals and a view.
It changed a lot.
And I went back a few years ago just to see
all the stuff I used to
post and my old posts,
make sure there's
nothing on there that's cringy.
When you're going into getting a job,
starting a career, etc., you want to make
sure you cover your tracks
from anything you may have
done when you're just too mature.
It was interesting.
It was all stuff with filters and it's
like, here's the sunset, here's a picture
of my food, things like that.
But now it's just, it feels like mostly
pictures of people and things like that.
I think it's interesting how
it's evolved from the beginning.
And then even Facebook, I don't think you
guys would be caught dead
posting updates on Facebook now.
But when it first came out, I think a lot
of your age expressed themselves like,
what is it called?
Where you post like how you're feeling
today or whatever it is.
I think in the beginning
you guys utilized that, right?
Very much so.
Yeah.
And it was especially
not having the phones.
When I look at it now, because on Facebook,
it'll give you updates.
You posted this 10 years ago
today or 12 years ago today.
And it just feels like you
would go to school at that age,
spend the whole day and come back with some
thought or some idea, happy about
something, pissed off about
something, whatever it may be.
And then you just come and you drop that on
social media, just unprovoked.
And I do send some of those posts to our
group chat with like me,
Nathan and a bunch of our friends.
And it was like, God, I was a shithead.
I would just post anything and everything,
whether it's about my teacher, how I felt,
my coach, sports team, whatever it is.
And look back and you're like, yeah, how
big it is probably
shouldn't be posting all that stuff.
No.
And that's where I think it can become
dangerous, especially for the younger kids
now that and especially with TikTok, like
they're posting a bunch or
they're reposting things.
And it can be a very deep
emotional moment for them.
And they repost a video about it.
And then like 48 hours later, they're fine.
But then that repost is coming up and all
their friends feeds and their friends are
like, oh, my God, are they okay?
But it's so fleeting.
All those emotions are so fleeting when
you're an adolescent and just
the heaviness of the effect of it.
And at least with Facebook, I think when it
first came out, you could post stuff about
your teachers and coaches
and no one was coming at you.
But now people people will come for you.
Yeah, you know, the kids, if they post
things about teachers, coaches, anything
about drinking, like you can't
put anything up about partying.
It affects even getting into college, which
I don't think you guys
had to deal with that worry.
I did not know.
I wasn't even the thought, honestly, going
into college never had anything like too
bad on there was more so like you said,
going through puberty, especially as a as a
boy turning into a man.
I don't know how it is on the other side,
but I imagine it's similar.
It's a lot of brutal, right?
It's getting pissed off at absolutely
nothing, being overly excited about stuff
like posting your celebrity crushes as a as
a young boy, things like that.
Right. But then never was a thought going
into college or applying for that until my
freshman year, from my personal experience,
was when I joined a fraternity and they're
like, all right, this shit's going to
follow you around everywhere.
We need to go on there
and scrub everything.
That's excellent.
And that was something that
was common for my fraternity.
I think it was a commonality across most
fraternities, but it's like, all right,
you're eventually
going to want to get a job.
You were 15 at one point, 14, go on there
and anything bad, take it off.
Wow. That was such a service to you guys.
Yeah. Yeah, that's excellent.
Okay.
So do you what would you say is your
primary social media you use now Instagram?
And what about Snapchat?
No, I just deleted it
probably four or five months ago.
Do you find that your peers don't use
Snapchat like they used to?
I find that most what was going on on
Snapchat for me was the group
chats that we made in college.
And it's just a way to
stay in touch with everyone.
So I had a couple on Snapchat and that's
what it was used for
versus when I was in college.
It was like a means of communication,
sending pictures, which I
felt like declined a lot.
Right, right.
How do you guys communicate now then via
just text no longer Snapchat?
Yeah, that's mostly on Instagram.
It's a lot of sending DMS like
videos post things like that.
We'll have groups on
Instagram, but it's mostly text.
FaceTime has gotten a lot bigger as well.
Really?
All close friends.
It's usually FaceTime.
So you guys will text and FaceTime.
Yes.
But not just do the traditional phone call
sometimes, but most often it's FaceTime.
Like I don't think I speak to Nate on the
phone unless it's FaceTime.
That's so interesting.
That is so interesting.
So it's kind of evolved where it started
with maybe Snapchat and posting on Facebook
and putting pictures of
your food on Instagram.
And then as you grow and mature, you are
now into how quote unquote more adults
communicate as far as texting and using the
phone to talk even if it's FaceTime.
Yeah.
You know, as you get older,
that's really interesting.
Okay.
Where were you born?
I was born in Manhattan, New York.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
All right.
So how did your parents meet?
My parents were lived down
the street from each other.
So their families knew each other since
they were very, very
young, went to the same school.
And where is this?
Casablanca, Morocco.
Okay.
So your family is from Casablanca, Morocco.
Yes.
And your parents live down the street from
each other in Morocco.
Went to the same school from
young age from elementary school.
Really?
And were they friends?
They were friends.
My parents started, I don't know if the
words dating, but showing interest in each
other very young age.
Like my dad always tells me a story where
he used to have either soccer practice or
my dad was a handball goalie.
So like the sport handball and he would
have practice and my mom would leave
school, go up home, bring him back food for
his like to have after
practice, things like that.
So very young age.
Okay.
So that, yeah, I would
say that she liked him.
Yes.
Very much so.
Is handball a sport common in Morocco?
Not too common.
No, I don't know how we got into it.
And being a handball goalie is very
interesting because you just stand there
and people just throw a ball at you.
Yeah.
And you try to catch it with your hands.
Block it, catch it.
Catch it.
Whatever you need to do just to make sure
it doesn't go in the goal.
They kind of tee off on you, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very much so.
I've never heard of handball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's semi dangerous.
So how would you, is it like soccer, but
you're using your hands?
Exactly right.
And so you're basically
can pinch it at the goalie.
Exactly.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Was he just padded up?
No pads.
No, I don't.
What about helmet?
No helmet.
No helmet, no pads.
Is that a Moroccan thing or is
that general with that sport?
It's an international sport.
Yeah.
That's just the rules.
So it's just, wow.
Yeah.
So no one's wearing pads.
No.
If you think about it, it's probably maybe
not in his case, but
it's a very inexpensive
sport.
You can play anywhere on any playground
without any money or facilities, right?
Yeah.
So it's just raw.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
And that's why soccer is so big
because all you need is a ball.
Yeah.
Like growing up in Morocco, when we used to
play soccer, we used to use like two rocks
for each goal and a soccer
ball playing on the street.
And the area I lived in, my friends in
Morocco were pretty,
pretty well off, pretty wealthy.
Right.
So they had the means, but that was just
the appeal to the sport.
You didn't need much.
You just needed a ball and a couple of guys
at low barrier of entry.
And you could just set it up and go up.
Okay.
It's playing.
So, so they met, or they
grew up together basically.
Now we're their parents, friends, since
they lived down the street from each other.
I'm not sure.
It's a good question.
Okay.
Because that's your grandparents.
Right.
So, and then did they have siblings?
Yeah.
My mom is one of seven
and my dad's one of eight.
Wow.
I may be wrong on my dad's side, but I'm
pretty sure it's eight.
Do you know where they
fall in the birth order?
My mom is, I think third or fourth oldest.
Okay.
My dad, I'm not sure.
And are their siblings still alive?
All siblings were still alive.
Wow.
Yes.
My dad lost a sister.
Okay.
And do they all live in Morocco?
They, on my mom's side, everyone lives in
Morocco except my aunt who lives in Tampa.
That's who I lived with when I first moved
here, St. Petersburg, actually.
And my dad's side, all in Morocco.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
So you have a lot of family in Morocco.
A lot of family.
So they grew up pretty much together.
When did they get married?
Like how old were they?
Do you know?
I don't know how old they were.
I think they got married in 91.
91.
Maybe 92.
Okay.
Did they go to college in Morocco or is it
called a college in Morocco?
Yeah, it is.
I don't know.
I don't think my mom went to college.
Think my dad did some sort of secondary
school after high school.
Do you know what he studied?
He was studying finance because he worked
at a bank after that.
Okay.
Did he study finance?
Did they get married
while he was in school still?
Do you know?
I don't believe so.
Pretty positive.
He was out of school.
Okay.
A little blurry on a lot of this stuff.
Yeah.
And then the investigator here.
And then did they lived in
Morocco though together in Morocco?
But then they got married in Morocco.
Got married in Morocco, lived in Morocco.
1994.
They had my older brother, Hamza.
In Morocco?
In Morocco.
And they had gone to visit St. Petersburg
at some point when they
were married and that's
what caused them to move here.
My mom really liked it.
My dad really liked it.
So they relocated here.
Okay.
So they just randomly
took a trip to Florida.
And but how?
They may have been there honeymoon.
Oh, interesting.
That's an important note.
You're seeing Petersburg, Florida, not
seeing Petersburg, Russia.
Yes.
There's a lot of people
that listen from everywhere.
Yeah. St. Petersburg, Florida.
Okay.
So might have been there honeymoon.
Okay.
So how did you get
born in Manhattan though?
What's the tie there?
They, I hope this doesn't get them in
trouble, but they had
friends there in New York and
they went over there when my mom was
pregnant with the idea of
we have this kid in the US.
He's going to be an American citizen.
Probably make his life a lot easier.
And that's what happened.
They had me.
I was in New York for probably two months,
maybe shorter than that.
I'm not really entirely sure.
And then we came back to Casablanca and
then I was in Casablanca
for about a year or two.
And then I moved over to St. Petersburg.
That's where we officially moved.
So do you have dual citizenship?
No, I'm an American American citizen.
Yeah.
I need to get my Moroccan citizenship.
It's just, is that challenging to do?
Okay.
So you could have it.
Yeah.
I have a Moroccan birth certificate.
I just need to get a
passport and like an ID card.
Reason I didn't get it last time.
It's a little bit of a process.
You got to go a little
bit out of town to get it.
And I was only there for two weeks.
Last couple of times I've gone.
So let's enjoy our time instead of.
Right.
Right.
Dealing with that.
Moroccan bureaucracy.
Okay.
So for people who've never been to Morocco,
how would you describe it?
Morocco is a beautiful place.
I'll start with that.
Plenty of different types of areas.
What I mean by that is on the Northern
coast, you have the Mediterranean.
So similar to a lot of
the Mediterranean countries.
Right.
And then on the other
side, it's the Atlantic.
So you have a lot of coastal areas.
Then you go inland.
There's mountain ranges, the Atlas
Mountains, known Morocco.
And then when you go
south, there's the desert.
So there's a little
bit of everything, right?
Yeah.
We have snow, we have the desert, we have
the beach and that kind of climate.
So there's plenty to do there.
Morocco as kind of like a cultural place.
It's a mix of Arabic Muslim culture and
some European and even
American influence, I'd
say mostly European, because it was
colonized by Portugal
and France and in Spain.
Right.
So that left remnants
of that kind of culture.
So it's pretty interesting when you look at
some of the other Muslim countries that are
a lot more traditional and culturally just
100 percent through and
through Muslim compared
to Morocco, where it's a
little more easy going.
Mostly everyone's still Muslim, but a
little more laid back.
So women don't have to be covered.
No, they don't have to be.
A lot of them are.
A lot of them aren't.
A lot of the younger generation isn't.
But like if you're a Moroccan woman there
and you're not covered
and you're wearing something
you'd see a woman wearing here, no one's
going to say anything to you.
It's normal.
OK.
Would you say women are held to as high of
a steam in Morocco as they are in America?
Like they're just as safe and they can walk
around on their own in Morocco?
I would say so.
OK.
Yeah.
And then it's it's not
really a safety thing.
It's more of a cultural thing where it's
like, well, you shouldn't
be out by yourself walking
around.
Right.
Like you should most likely be with a man.
A lot of women also view themselves a
little differently from that aspect.
Like I'm not just going to go out and do
all this stuff like a man would do.
I'm a woman.
I'm going to take care of myself.
I'm getting married.
Having a family is a big thing over there.
Very important.
But I don't think there's any like fear or
risk or anything from that angle.
And so it's still very traditional.
Yes.
Traditional values.
Traditional values for sure.
And then you said there's
European and some American influences.
That mean there's European and Americans
that live in Morocco.
Yeah.
And do they live live in like is it kind of
segregated or is it all mixed together?
All mixed together.
And when you're in Morocco, do you feel all
of those influences as you're going around
the areas that still feel very, I guess,
Muslim or more the
majority of what the population
is?
You definitely feel
the influence in the mix.
For example, French, everyone in Morocco
speaks French, mostly everyone in Morocco
speaks French.
OK.
And it's kind of like it's funny.
It's kind of like a signaling thing.
So the families that are wealthy and their
kids go to private schools, etc., the kids
mostly speak French.
OK.
That's why I learned
French when I went there.
But there's definitely a large mix.
And you see it a lot with my generation as
they grow up, they go to college overseas.
I feel that there's a lot more.
European and American tendencies that they
pick up, whether
they're positive or negative,
then you would see an older generations.
Now, is there a
college there or university?
There's plenty. Yeah.
Really. So how how big would you how would
you compare it the size of Morocco?
Like if you're going to compare it to a
state, it's about 40 million people.
OK. Wow. And sizing wise, if you count the
Sahara, which you should,
it's probably the size of California
somewhere around there.
OK. Yeah, I may be wrong on that, but I'm
pretty sure it's kind of kind of runs
vertical like that. Yeah, exactly. Same
shape, similar shape.
Yeah. And then you mentioned like so
there's some wealthy
areas and then are there
very really poor areas,
too, just like anywhere, right?
Just like anywhere. But there's it's worse
than you would see here in the US.
Like there's areas that
barely have running electricity,
may or may not have water kind of just like
shacks that people have built.
But every time I've gone back to Morocco
since I moved here from Morocco in 2014,
that's been slowly and slowly getting
eliminated and they're building
the government's building apartments,
things like that, to put people up in
and get them out of those
like shacks and things like that.
It's an eyesore. It's tough
to see the people living there.
So they've been really combating that.
I think they've more or
less been pretty successful.
That's great. So what is
the government system there?
Is it like here where you vote for a leader
every four years or how does it compare?
It's it's a monarchy.
So it's the royal family.
They have a king. OK.
After the king, his son becomes king. OK.
After him, his son becomes king.
And they're running the
show. They're running everything.
Yeah, there's elected officials that run
different parts of the government.
But at the end of the day, the king is the
the ruler, the leader,
and he can influence or change or make
anything that he wants
to do as he sees fit.
So it's not like in Britain where the
monarchy is more kind of at this point,
like for tourism or anything else, but they
have a totally system,
totally different system
running the show in Morocco.
It's not it's not a
democracy. Right. Right.
So is there a lot of
corruption, do you think?
There's definitely a lot of corruption.
Yeah, there's a lot of corruption.
And it's it's interesting because a lot of
the corruption that you see
is within the elected officials.
So they get elected and then they lean
towards corruption,
which is very interesting.
From the king side, I don't
think there has been much corruption
or anything that the people have been
necessarily upset about.
It's very, very interesting
to see the love and respect
that he gets as a ruler that wasn't chosen
and is just he's going to be the ruler
until he passes away.
And so people revere the family. Yes.
And and I'm sure that that family has
created a lot of pride from Iraq.
Yes, very much so, especially this.
I don't want to say new king because he was
the king when I was born,
probably became king in 98 or maybe
somewhere around there.
But he has been a very
big proponent of kind
of similar what the rest of the world's
dealing with globalization,
bringing in foreign companies, bringing in
like expanding Morocco across Africa
and just making the economy thrive more,
bringing in more options for companies,
jobs, whatever it is, and growing the
countries from an economic standpoint.
And I think you see that now where it's
flourished, where Morocco is
number one country in Africa, pretty much
everything runs through Morocco.
Wow. I would say, yeah.
And it's definitely a reason
for that is the Arab Spring
and all of the stuff that happened with all
of those governments being overthrown.
That never happened in Morocco.
The king stayed, never
really had any big issues.
But yeah. So what are the industries?
But what would you say the
main industries are in Morocco?
I wouldn't be able to
speak about that much.
Honestly, I'd probably be guessing I know
tourism is probably top three.
I would say. Yeah.
But other than that, not
not really too familiar.
What is the main food?
Main food, are we a
lot of different things?
I mean, lamb is big over there.
Cow, so like steak,
ground beef, all that stuff.
Chicken, fish, a lot of fish.
And we have our traditional dishes, right?
Like tagine is a very popular.
If you go there, definitely try it.
It's a variation of meats, right?
It's the tagine is the
mechanism it's cooked in.
So it's kind of like a clay slow cooker
that you put over a fire.
And then inside of it, you put any type of
veggies with a protein.
So like a very common one, they'll put like
a lamb shank in there
with like apricots.
That sounds like so good. Yeah.
It's like a sweet sauce.
That's big chicken and
potatoes in the tagine.
That's big.
And then they have a lot
of other traditional stuff.
Bastilla, that's a big one.
It's like a little pastry that they will
stuff either with seafood
or chicken and almonds.
Sweeter one.
Couscous every Friday.
That's a tradition. Why on Friday?
I should know, but I don't.
So every Friday, every Friday,
you can get couscous everywhere.
Or it's made in the
home to made in the home.
But restaurants have it on the menu and
they only serve it on Friday.
Really? Yeah.
That is so interesting.
What about a dessert?
Is there a certain
dessert that's from that area?
Like I know for me,
being Armenian, it's baklava.
Like that's one of them.
But see, we are more Middle
Eastern like pilaf and hummus.
But I don't is Morocco
lean that way at all?
Not as much now.
And I think that's a common misconception.
Yeah, because I would
have had that misconception.
Yeah. OK. You can get that.
A lot of places in Morocco, very common.
People eat it a lot, but
it's not the traditional,
traditional food.
That is so interesting.
From a dessert standpoint, I don't know.
We have these little pastries.
Everything's honey based.
Really, really good.
But it's interesting. I can
Morocco when you say dessert,
desserts coming out, they're
bringing out a plate of fruit.
Oh, OK. So my entire life after the meal,
we bring out bananas, apples,
oranges, like cut out watermelon,
depending on the fruit,
bananas, apples not cut up.
Watermelon is cut up.
Candelope, all types of melons.
And just depending on what's in season,
it's not like here where,
of course, we have seasons for fruits here,
but you can get the fruit
any time of year you want
it more or less over there.
It's very segmented by season.
So like summer, you're
eating watermelon, et cetera.
OK. Is most of the fruit
grown in Morocco that you know?
OK. Yeah.
Is there a particular drink that's tea?
See, like a Moroccan tea, mint based.
But he's huge.
Like you go to someone's
house, they're making tea.
So almost like a
British vibe in a way kind of.
And it's a little different.
It's a little different.
I know. Yeah.
Moroccan tea. It's it's our tea.
It's different. It's
the Moroccan specialty.
Does it have caffeine or
is it more of an herbal tea?
OK, that definitely does.
And coffee, coffee is huge.
And I'm sure Moroccan coffee is amazing.
Very good. Yeah. Yeah. Very good.
And it's it's interesting because.
You'll have dinner at nine p.m.
And they'll bring out coffee afterwards.
It's very, very interesting.
And then are you up then?
Like now it doesn't affect you.
No, like when. Perfect.
When our friends, when
like me, Ben, Mack, Jesus,
shout out to all the guys
all came to Morocco with me.
They were like, what are we doing?
Like we'd have dinner at nine.
We're drinking coffee at 10 p.m.
And my entire family,
there's like 40 people in the room.
We're all drinking coffee. Wow.
They're all confused.
Like, what is this?
And then afterwards, like, all
right, guys, we're going to bed.
Doesn't it doesn't.
Well, probably it's
such a part of the culture.
Their bodies are used to it.
I don't have the right.
So then if dinner is later,
then is everyone kind of
sleeping in and breakfast is later?
Are people up at an early time still even
if they're going to bed later?
People are up at an early time.
I would say similar things.
Work starts to eight. OK.
I'm very similar. But yeah,
me in town, my friends in town, right.
So everything was slightly delayed.
We were just getting together and joining
our. Yeah. Yeah. Relaxing.
Exactly. So is the culture among Moroccans?
Do they try to marry other Moroccans?
Is it kind of looked down
upon to not marry Moroccan?
It depends who you ask.
OK, it's not looked down upon.
I don't think by any means.
But. Your mom and your
dad want you to bring them.
OK, my mom says that to me all the time.
Like, where do you think I'm
going to meet Moroccan women?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not a Moroccan stop where I can go.
All right. Here's a
bunch of great Moroccan women
that I can introduce
myself to and get to know.
But it's it definitely is.
And especially you got to
understand it from the perspective
that it's a communication thing.
Like my brother is
married to an American woman.
Her family is half white, Caucasian,
American and half from Guyana.
So she knows my mom, my family very well.
She's the mother of my nephew.
But. It's a communication
barrier when she goes over there.
My mom, it's easier over text
because my mom can translate,
send back a text in Arabic.
She'll translate, send
back a text in English.
Yeah. But it's a communication thing.
Yeah, that makes sense.
That makes a lot of sense.
OK, so your parents move over to Florida
and you're a baby, right?
What one, two? Yeah.
And just them, they didn't
know anyone in St. Petersburg.
They had some friends in St. Petersburg,
but I don't know if they met them there.
They had a couple of Moroccan
friends or if they just happened
to come around the same time.
How did do you know how your family reacted
to them leaving like their parents?
It's a great question.
I honestly have no idea.
Yeah, I'm wondering if it
was a big deal at the time.
I probably was.
Because if everyone
else is still there, even.
Yeah, that would have been such a break.
Like what courage on their part to kind of
break away and go on this adventure
and leave all this family, all this
tradition, all this
culture to move to America.
Do you know if there was a certain
motivation in that or was it really
just wanting to have that
experience of living over here?
I'm honestly not entirely sure.
I'd imagine there was
some sort of motivation.
I mean, you can make a lot more money here.
That's for sure.
You can set your family
up for a lot better life.
And it's not too difficult to
come here and make normal money
and be able to support people in Morocco
because everything's a lot cheaper.
So that may have played a factor into it.
It may have just been
looking for a better education or.
A better life for their kids, not to say
that life in Morocco is tough
or difficult from where
they were at in their lives.
But yeah, honestly, I'm not sure.
These are all just thoughts that I would
think if I was in their position,
things that I would look at as positives.
And then did your dad get a
job as soon as he got over here?
He owned a business. Yeah.
What was his business?
He owned a gas station food spot.
Oh, nice. Very typical.
No, but that's lucrative.
It is very lucrative.
Was your mom a stay at home mom? Yes.
And so she raised your
brother and you in St.
Petersburg and your
dad had the gas station.
Yes. So she worked at my
dad's restaurant in Morocco
when my brother was a baby.
So my dad owned in their neighborhood.
He owned the restaurant and
then he owned a convenience store
like a corner store.
So he's an entrepreneur.
Yeah, he's always been an entrepreneur.
OK, so when he got out
of the school for finance,
did he go right into starting a business?
He was he was at the bank. Right.
And then from there, did he
open his first business? Yes.
In Morocco. Yeah. OK.
Open businesses with friends, family.
And it started off as the restaurant.
That was something that he did
throughout his time in Morocco,
even when we went back restaurant business.
At certain points, he had multiple.
And then my mom would
work in the restaurant.
She worked in the convenience store, kind
of just wherever she she seemed.
She saw fit and she was
raising my brother at that time.
And then when I was born, that was it.
She was just a stay at home mom.
So I think I know one of the reasons that
your parents moved to your dad
has an entrepreneurial spirit.
I didn't say entrepreneurial spirit.
America, right? Yep.
Like this is where if you have especially
for that spirit, it's
going to flourish here.
Yeah. So I bet that had
something to do with it.
He's like, I can do this here.
I can probably make even more
money over in America doing this
because he had that talent. Yeah.
That natural talent.
If I would guess, I would
say so. Yeah, that makes sense.
You're giving me a lot of great questions.
I know this is awesome.
Because a lot of these things you don't ask
your parents growing up.
Yeah. And then you're like,
I've never thought about this.
When you ask them, record it.
OK. Yeah, that's my advice.
I do have a question before we go too far.
Is there a Moroccan community here?
And then the more importantly, are there
any good Moroccan restaurants in the area?
There is an incredible Moroccan restaurant
right down the street
for me in Morocco called Zuri.
If you're ever in Miami, Miami, Miami.
Sorry. In Miami.
If you're ever down
there, highly recommend it.
Some French guy came over here from France
and opened their from Morocco
and opened it.
Moroccan community in Florida.
I'm not too sure you go to Boston where I
lived for a little bit.
Yeah. Yeah. Plenty of Morocco. OK.
New York. Same thing.
I'm sure we're everywhere.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Have you met anyone in South
Florida that's Moroccan? Yeah.
Our friend, Sarain, me and
Nathan's friend, he's Moroccan.
OK. OK. I met some Moroccan people, Miami.
Any ladies?
No, no. Not that you know of.
Right. I know. It's so hard in Miami
because you're like, you can't be like,
oh, you look Moroccan
because you're not sure. Right.
I can see someone and
tell them, oh, you can.
And very, very funny. And it's very easy.
Like I can see last time this happened to
me, a waiter was just walking by my table
and I called him over and I
go, you're Moroccan. Yes, I am.
It's I don't know what
it is. It's very easy.
That's so interesting.
And my brother is the same
way. My cousins are the same way.
They'll see someone
out. They won't even speak.
And they're like, you're
Moroccan. Wow. That's fine.
It's like a little special talent you have.
They're like a superpower
Moroccan super. I guess so.
I guess so. You're like,
you're one of us. Yeah, I can tell.
So how long did they
live in St. Petersburg?
About eight years.
OK, so you preschool kindergarten,
kindergarten, first grade.
I left in first grade 2006.
And so you were speaking
English, I assume, and French.
No French. So your mom
didn't keep it going at home.
No, my mom spoke to me in Arabic, Arabic.
So you knew Arabic and English.
And did you guys attend?
What it wouldn't be church, I'd be a
mosque, a mosque in St. Petersburg.
We did. Yes. So you were
able to I'm sure speak Arabic.
That's where you would speak Arabic to
raise your culture was still maintained.
Yeah. So it's interesting because the
Moroccans, we speak the region,
which is our Moroccan dialect. Mm hmm.
Very hard to understand a
lot of other Arab countries.
And it's it's funny
because you go Morocco, Algeria.
They understand us Tunisia.
They understand us Libya a
little less, Egypt a little less.
Each country you get over, it gets more
towards the Middle East
and more traditional Arabic. Mm hmm.
I always get jokes about that.
They're like, you don't speak Arabic.
I'm like, well, I can
read it. So I do speak it.
But our Arabic is a dialect.
It's a mix of a lot of Spanish words, a lot
of French words from
when we were colonized.
Interesting. So that's
what I speak at home.
That's like if I call my
brother, that's what we're speaking.
And what's it called again?
Dereja Dereja. Yeah. Dereja.
So it's a form of
Arabic. Yeah, it's a dialect.
It's a dialect of Arabic. Yeah.
And so you're speaking
Dereja and then French.
You know, Dereja and French, you know,
English and, you know, Spanish, don't you?
A little bit like you can
get around a little bit.
Yeah, I can get back. It's amazing.
It's such a gift that you have
that you know these languages
because, you know, most
Americans don't all because of my mom.
Yeah. Yeah. She was.
Well, we'll get into that.
But she so she kept it
going when you were over in St.
Petersburg speaking Dereja in the home,
attending the mosque.
Yeah. The culture was
still there and rich. Yeah.
Why did they move back to Morocco?
So one thing I wanted to say, though,
before that is the mosque
was to learn how to read
actual Arabic traditional. OK.
So what's in the Quran,
what's in the newspaper?
All of that. It's not the
reason it's all traditional Arabic.
So that was an effort to do that and
obviously to learn about our religion.
And then the reason was that.
And so did you learn how to read and write
it at that young of an age?
Not not not great. No, I was trying.
But it was very difficult.
And I learned it when I got to Morocco. OK.
And you were also learning
English because were you attending
American school or Muslim school when you
were in American school, public school,
public school. Yeah.
So you're learning English and the American
culture. Exactly right.
And then at the same time
maintaining your Moroccan culture.
That's excellent. Why did
they go back to Morocco?
My mom was going back to visit
family and on her way out,
there was some visa issues.
She overstayed her visa by like a day or a
week or something like that.
And they were like in the airport.
No, get out. No. Yeah.
So so she got deported pretty much with the
flight out flight to go home.
And she didn't know that with the paperwork
and everything probably right.
She knew maybe she did.
I'm pretty sure she did it.
No, because I don't think she
would have shown up like that.
You know what I mean?
She probably would have done
something to take care of it
before going to an airport
and having everything checked.
And she was going to
Morocco pretty consistently.
Our family was coming to visit.
I don't think it was ever
their goal to stay here full time.
My mom is the biggest patriot ever.
Like if I ever say anything,
that's a slight to Morocco.
Just sit down for 30 minutes
because you're getting a lecture.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, was it your mom and dad
and you and your brother in the airport?
It was my mom and maybe my aunt.
I was at home. My brother was
at home. My dad was at home.
She was just going home to see some family.
And your aunt was visiting or lived?
My I believe it was my
aunt Malika who lives here.
So was she living here
when they moved here?
And she moved after she moved here with us.
Oh, so she moved with you.
She moved here a couple of years after us,
but she lived with us.
OK, OK. So the sisters basically were going
back to Morocco to visit family.
And that's when your mom
essentially got deported.
Oh, my gosh, I can't
imagine the trauma for her.
You and your brother are home and she's
being sent back to Morocco.
Have you ever spoken to
her about that situation?
Yeah, I have.
She definitely resents the US for that.
Yeah, it's understandable.
And I mean, listen, I always say there's
rules and you got to follow the rules.
You can't slip up on something like that.
Right. And that's my mom.
We're talking about something that
dramatically changed my life.
But there's rules in place
and there's a system in place.
And you got to follow it, whether it was a
mistake or an accident.
Doesn't matter on paper
because anyone could tell you, oh,
I overstayed my visa here by a
year because it was an accident.
But yeah, it was tough.
It was a very, very big, big
pivotal moment in all of our lives.
And she understandably, from her
perspective, resented
the US for it.
My dad worked here, pay
taxes, had a green card.
We went to school.
We were a good part of
the community, et cetera.
But what year was was that 2006?
OK, so in 2006, you were what six?
I was eight. Eight.
So I assume she tells
your dad I'm being deported.
And then did he basically
have to sell his gas station?
And so basically your life in America
was completely altered from that moment.
Your dad had to sell his gas station.
You guys were pulled from school.
We're moving back to Morocco.
So it was in May.
OK. And end of the school year.
Right. So my dad's like, we're going to go
visit family in Morocco.
So we got over there and we're
there for a couple of months.
And then one day my dad's like, we're going
to go look at the school.
And I was young. I was
just happy to be there.
Yeah. My brother, who's four
and a half years older than me,
was like 12 and a half, 13.
He was just finished sixth grade.
So he knows what's going on.
He's like, why am I looking at a school?
I have a school at home.
He had friends at home.
I'm on the football
team at home, like, etc.
And I was just excited.
Like, oh, Morocco, I'm
Moroccan. I love this.
And it was just I don't
remember when they told us,
but it was a while before we
found out that we were going back.
So had he packed up all your
stuff and sold your house in St.
Petersburg? And did you guys
not know all that was going on?
No. So when we left our all
of our shit was still there.
And then like a few months, many months
into being in Morocco,
we had a shipping container
dropped on our front doorstep,
like a full shipping container with our
cars, our clothes, our furniture,
everything. Oh, my God.
And that was like the point where I was
like, oh, so much shit in the U.S.
So I'm probably not going.
That's pretty wild. Yeah.
So did all of this happen
basically during that summer?
And so by the time
school started in Morocco,
you by then did you know, OK, we're staying
here before school started.
My mom sat us down. She was like, listen,
we're not going back.
So how did your brother react to that?
He was furious. That's middle school. Yeah.
No, that's like, yeah,
that's ruining my life. Yes.
I don't know if he said that, but he
probably thought in middle school.
They say that if you take away, you know,
if you grab it, yeah, yeah.
You're ruined. If you take
away their ice cream sandwich,
you're ruining their life.
So I'm sure he was like lost it.
Yeah, I can only
imagine what that was like.
What that's amazing. What an adjustment.
Now, when you think back on you were young,
but when you think back on that,
is it feel fairly traumatic or because
you're so young, you're like,
it's just what it was.
It's just what it was.
It wasn't really traumatic at all.
It was a very, very big change
culturally, people, et cetera.
But from what I remember from my family
tells me, I was just happy.
You were happy to be there
with my family. We're in Morocco.
Yeah, this is great.
But then when I hit like puberty age.
Middle school beginning of
high school that completely.
OK, so you move.
What's our second grade in Morocco?
I was supposed to start
second grade. I got to Morocco.
I took the test to get into
school and then they were like,
you're not second grade level.
You should be in third grade.
So I skipped the second. Oh, interesting.
OK, so you're so third
grade, but second grade age
for those elementary
school formative years.
Did you did they have sports or anything?
Did you play like organized
sports? What did you play?
I played soccer, basketball, volleyball.
Yeah, that's it in track and field.
OK, so I went to when I moved over there, I
went to an American private school
and I had 15 kids in my grade.
And your grade in my entire grade and those
15 kids I grew up with.
So every year, plus or
minus two to five people.
Those were the kids that were in my grade
my entire life in Morocco.
Wow. So with that size of a
school, we had our own conference
where we played sports
against other American schools.
There was two others in Casablanca, one in
Rabat, which is the capital.
One in Marrakesh is a very big city and
then a couple others across the country.
That's who we played sports against.
Were they were they expats or Moroccan
citizens sending their
kids to American schools?
It was everything expats, Moroccan
citizens, Indians, Russians,
Italians, literally everything.
Yeah, anybody that was in Morocco that
wanted their kids to
get an American education,
learn English, being sent
there was very expensive.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Was it mainly to learn English or did you
guys actually learn American history
and stuff about America? Everything.
Really? Yeah.
So American history, stuff about America.
It was very similar to a
curriculum at a school here.
Right. Very similar, except we would have
an hour of French and an hour of Arabic
every day for throughout
your whole career in school.
What about Moroccan history?
Would you also still learn about Morocco?
Yeah, stuff like that.
Sure. That's awesome.
Yeah. I'm trying to picture, though.
How did you play organized sports?
They must have blended ages.
If you only had 15 in your grades.
Exactly right. That's
what I was trying to get at.
There is I'm not good at basketball.
I'm decent at volleyball, but I'm I'm
actually pretty bad at basketball.
I was on the basketball team.
There was like 20 kids
where you had a pulse.
You can run or get on the team.
So I played any sport that was open.
Like the coaches would come up to you and
be like, we need you on the team.
So that's why I was on all those teams.
But and were there girl teams, too? Yeah.
OK. Yeah. And then at this school, did the
little girls just stress?
Was it uniforms? Uniforms. Yeah.
Like how I picture
Catholic school uniforms.
That's right. White collared shirt or a
light blue collared shirt
with the school emblem on
there matching shorts or pants.
And then a couple of years
in, they took away the collars
and gave us the flexibility to be normal
crewed neck or collared.
And not religious based.
I know we didn't learn.
We didn't really study religion.
OK. My mom took care of that.
And then your brother then
would have been in middle school.
So it was his grade also
just as small. Same thing.
That would have been such a hard
adjustment as a middle schooler
coming from an American middle school to
then having your world get so small.
Do you know it was at heart?
I'm sure it was harder
for him to adjust. Yeah.
It was it was.
Probably a big change.
It was a big change for him,
but he adapted very well. He's
he's the best, most outgoing, social, nice.
Everyone loves him. All
his teachers loved him.
All his friends loved
him. So he just fit right in.
And he played sports, too, I assume. Yeah.
He was so he's not that that big.
He's pretty short.
But he my entire life, he was incredible
all sports like soccer to this day.
Incredible basketball
by Moroccan standards.
He's pretty damn good volleyball as well.
So yeah, he fit in pretty well.
So you guys are humming along in Morocco.
Your dad opened up another
business, I assume. Right.
Was it a restaurant?
So he opened up a restaurant.
He opened up one restaurant and then the
second and then the third.
And he would like have
one or two open at a time.
He usually would like sell them and kind of
build up the brand, sell it and do that.
And then his other
business was he would go to China
and buy he had a company that
he did this with his company,
but he would buy like
everything you need to finish a house.
So doors, door frames, showers, tubs,
windows, everything. Right.
And he would buy them in
China and ship them to Morocco
and sell them to people
building houses in Morocco.
He's a hustler. Yes. Wow. Yes. Yeah.
Because he's running these businesses.
And then I wonder where he got that idea.
Just OK, I'm going to go to China and
wholesale all this stuff.
Yeah, I think they write. He would he would
sell anything like he would bring
hummers, escalades on the gold wings.
Any car that wasn't available in Morocco,
like you would bring an escalate.
Let's say it's $40,000 here and sell it in
Morocco for like $65,000.
Wow. Like no one else can get it.
You had like the first
escalate there, first hummer there.
And he would just be like,
all right, people want this.
This will sell. I'll go get it and sell it.
So he's not just an
entrepreneur, but a salesman.
Yeah. But he's all sounds like he's
probably fairly well connected.
Yeah. Right. Because you probably can't do
that in Morocco without connections.
Yeah. Yeah. Very much so.
Yeah. So your family, I assume, have been
considered wealthy in Morocco.
In Morocco. Yeah.
And how does your dad
adjust to being back in Morocco?
Obviously, fine business wise.
But was he OK with coming back to Morocco?
I'm not sure. I never noticed anything.
But I can't imagine that he
was I mean, I'm sure he was upset
with all the progress he made here in the
US and having to go back.
But can't imagine it was
too big of a change for him.
I mean, he was probably in
his 40s at that point in time.
His whole life, other than maybe like six
to eight years was in Morocco.
So and I'm sure your family was thrilled.
Yeah. And their parents and all that,
because then they have you guys there, too,
which is wonderful. So
how long were you in Morocco
until you came back to the US?
I was in Morocco from 2006 to 2014.
So eight years, eight years.
So you would have been.
Fourteen going on 15.
So right before high school.
So just finished sophomore year of high
school, going into junior year.
Oh, well. Right.
Because you skipped a grade.
Yeah. OK, so your and your brother would
have been going to college.
Yeah, my brother came here for college.
He graduated the school in Morocco, the
American school, and then came over here
back to St Pete, went to college there.
And that's when everything flipped for me
because I was just like,
I don't want to be here. Why my Morocco?
I should be in the US. I want to move back.
Morocco sucks. I don't
like it here, et cetera.
Just going through puberty.
Well, and also probably you felt you
outgrown that space in a way,
especially if you're
with those same kids still.
Yeah, I'm sure it's
hard to date after a while.
Yeah. Yeah.
So and just it
everything gets so incestuous.
You're just like, I need
change. I need to get out of here.
And my brother left.
That's what I was about. Your brother left.
He's like, you guys are you guys are
obviously boys, I think.
Right. You guys are tight. Yeah.
Very much so. Yeah.
It was always me and
him, me and him, my cousins.
And when he left, I was
just like, why am I still here?
Yeah. So then what happened?
What what made the move back
to America? What was the shift?
So my parents always
knew that I was going to go.
Me and my parents always knew that I was
going to go to American College
or university and no one was going to pay
for an international tuition.
So the plan was always
to get back to the US.
I'm an American citizen.
I need a year or two
to get in state tuition.
So it was always sophomore or junior year.
I would go back. I was supposed to go come
back here my sophomore year.
And my mom pulls me aside like going into
that summer and she's like,
this is really sad, but she's
like, I just can't lose it yet.
Like you can't go over there
and leave me. I need you to stay.
So me being the punk little kid I am just
held that over her head
and threw a fit for an entire year until my
going into my summer of my junior year.
I was like, I'm I'm fucking leaving.
I don't want to be here any longer.
And she tells me those stories and I just
get sad because I'm like,
I was such a little shit.
And now I would give everything to just be
with her next to her.
But it's the age, though.
And it really is. It is. It is.
It's kind of the job,
especially I think of young men.
They want you want that autonomy.
You're trying. It's part
of your job to become a man.
So anybody who's going to stop you, whether
it's your mom or whether it's the neighbor,
you know, God help them.
So but how could you come back here?
Did you come back on your own?
I came back on my own.
My aunt was still here,
so my aunt never left.
OK. And my aunt's my mom's sister.
So on my mom's side,
she's my aunt and my mom.
They grew up together. Yeah, she knew.
So she felt very comfortable
sending me to live with her in St.
Petersburg as well.
She was actually right down
the street from my brother.
So it worked out perfectly.
She was also raising a
kid, my cousin, who's 22 now.
So a few years younger than me.
So just hey, you're
already raising a kid. Yeah.
Would you mind helping out with this guy
until he goes to college?
Yeah. How did your brother come over here?
Because you said about
the international tuition.
Was it did he not have to pay the
international tuition at first? Yeah.
So he has a green card.
Now he has a passport. He's a citizen now.
But he came over here first year, just paid
international tuition.
He went to a community college and then he
worked here, got a job
and then eventually became
in state a year or two. OK.
So even with international after a year or
so, you can pay in state tuition.
Yeah. Oh, that's great.
It's not just domestically or
internationally as well.
So you finished high school.
Did you go to the high
school that you would have gone to
if you stayed in St. Petersburg?
Yeah. Public high school. The
same one. The same one. Yeah.
Did you know any remember
any kids from first grade? No.
So how was it starting
school as a junior? It was insane.
It was and I went from the
same 15 kids that I knew.
I knew everything about
them. I knew their parents.
I knew where they
lived. I knew their habits.
I knew everything to a school where the
graduating class was 450 kids.
Yeah, the graduating. Yeah. Yeah.
And it was just mayhem, seeing how kids
like were behaving, acting,
just partying, doing whatever they want.
It was it was a shock for sure. I bet.
And just did you get
involved with sports? Yeah.
Yeah, I was a captain of the soccer team.
OK, well, look at you
sliding right in. Right.
Well, it's not the sport here, right?
So all the best athletes play
football and basketball. Right.
In Morocco, it's the opposite.
All the best athletes play soccer.
So I was middle, upper
middle of the pack in Morocco.
And when I came here,
I was top of the pack.
Yeah, because people
don't focus as much on soccer.
So it was a little bit of an
easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, did you have a car? You got a license
here. I got a license.
I didn't have a car.
So you weren't you
weren't out on the streets yet.
No, I haven't around
or anything. No, I was.
So I was young for my age, so I didn't get
my license until I was 16.
Or yeah. And of my end of being 16. Right.
So OK, I got here when I was 15 and then I
figured out that to get it at 16,
you had to have your learner's permit.
So when I turned 16, I
got my learner's permit. OK.
So then close to 17, 17, I got my license.
The day of my senior year prompt.
Oh, you got your license that day that day.
And I drove my dad had moved
there like four months ago,
four months before that before. Yeah.
And I drove his car and then I would drive
my brother's car around.
I had a little scooter
that I would take to school.
But no, I didn't own a car.
So when you moved here, did did the
skipping and grade hold?
So you were always younger
than everyone in your grade.
And in America, that can make a difference.
Yeah. Like, did you ever feel younger?
Yeah, definitely.
Like when I got to Florida State, the first
four months of me being
by myself living in
Florida State, I was 17.
Yeah, that's pretty young. Yeah. Yeah.
That's very young. Yeah. Yeah.
OK, so so well, to go
back, you said your dad moved
to America four months
before your senior prom.
What prompted him to make that move?
He just had some stuff going on in Morocco
and then him and my
mom kind of parted ways.
And I think he just didn't
have anything else to do there.
So he just came back over here.
Did they get divorced? No.
So they're still married.
They're separated. Yeah.
So she stayed in Morocco and
he moved to St. Peter's Park.
And then were you essentially did he move
with your aunt or did he get his own place?
He moved in with my aunt for probably two
weeks while he found a spot.
And then I moved in with him.
And then you moved in with him.
So that was that the first time you had
seen him since you had moved to America?
No, I would go back there in
the summer. OK. Yeah. All right.
So you still were seeing that.
But it's probably nice to have your dad
over here in America. Right.
And it was very interesting, interesting
dynamic because it was
the traditional family style.
Right. I'm at home with my mom.
My mom knows every single
detail and aspect of my life.
And in my dad's at work all
day, he comes home at night.
I saw him. How's your day?
What's how sports? Let's
watch the soccer game, et cetera.
And then going from that to him being in
every detail in my life, I was like,
this is really weird. Yeah.
Change your guys's relationship.
Right. So yeah. And
she became a lot closer.
So you graduate and was Florida State
always your number one?
Florida State was my number one.
Yeah. So I applied for early
admission to Florida State.
I was in the middle of or
applying to the rest of the schools
I wanted to go to.
I got into Florida State early admission in
October and I didn't apply anywhere else.
OK, that was it. That was it.
It was was Florida State, your target, even
in Morocco or with this?
No, it was just when
you when I got here. Yeah.
I didn't really know much about Florida
State when I was in Morocco.
Yeah, that would make sense.
So you did the summer sea?
No, I went in fall. Oh, you did fall. Yeah.
OK, so when you started in the fall, then
had you spent any time in Tally?
No, Hasey. No, it was funny.
My brother drove me up for orientation
and he dropped me off on
the side of the street.
He goes, have fun, kid
drives back home with his buddies,
but he came up with us so he wouldn't drive
back alone. And that's it.
My dad never came up to Tallahassee.
Really? My brother came
up one time after that.
It was literally just
me. They're like, go. Wow.
Wow. Yeah. So you're
in the dorms, I assume.
No, I had an
apartment. You had an apartment.
But you were at FSU. I was
at FSU. I was an FSU student.
But you didn't. Did you not
want to live in the dorms?
I thought you had to as a
freshman. You didn't know.
Oh, OK. What made you make that decision?
Cost comparison versus
compared to what I was getting.
OK, apartment was
cheaper and I had my own room.
I had my friend from St.
Petersburg that I was moving up with and he
didn't get into Florida State.
He was in TCC.
And we wanted to live together, right?
And so I was like, dad, is
it cool if I get an apartment?
He's like, yeah, that's perfect.
So and just to go back, you were only 17.
I was only 17. That's pretty wild.
Yeah, 17 living in an apartment.
You had never lived on your
own before like that, right?
Paying bills, taking care of all that stuff
away from your still your mom.
Yeah. And I would say the
experience of moving here
and just living with my
aunt, my aunt worked a lot
because she was a single mom
here raising a kid by herself.
So I got a lot of that
experience in junior, senior year
at high school where I would
take myself to and from school,
take myself to and from all my practices.
Had a job when I was 15, just figuring
everything out. Right.
Well, what's your job?
My first job was a cabana boy at the
Serrata Beach Resort in St. Petersburg.
Nice. So I would set up these cabanas for
people that are staying at the hotel.
Get in at like 6 a.m., have
everything set up by that time.
And then they needed a drink or anything.
I'd get the waiter, et cetera.
I was just kind of the the
helper boy at the area. Yeah.
And then same hotel around six months in.
I got brought into their restaurant.
I was a food runner and
then I became a bar back.
And yeah, that's the job I had.
That was through high school.
Through high school. Yeah.
And then I assume also
living with your aunt,
were you making a lot of
your own meals, breakfast?
No. So your meals were still made for you.
She had that down. OK. OK.
So at Tallahassee, that was your first time
managing your food on your own.
Grocery shopping. Yeah. All that. And I
know you like to cook. I do.
Now, had you always liked to cook or did
that come in Tallahassee
when you were on your own?
I didn't always like to cook,
but I always watch my mom cook.
My mom is 10 out of 10.
Incredible chef, just like you are.
And she I would always watch
her make stuff. Right. Yeah.
And I don't know if I learned necessarily
watching her, but I got a feel for it.
And then I would just call her.
I'm like, hey, I want to make this.
And she would just
send me a voice recording.
Here's what you do. Here's how you do it.
Here's how long.
And that's just kind of how I got into it.
And then, yeah, I
figured out that it's easy.
It is really not that hard.
It's not act like it's very
difficult. It's very easy.
Yeah, there's levels to it, of course.
But it really it's
it's it's what's the same.
There's this tick tock for he always says
it isn't easy, but it is simple.
And I think with cooking, you know, once
you get if you can follow a recipe,
it is simple. And once you get the hang of
things, it does become easy.
But at first, it can feel intimidating
where this is too hard.
It's too much. It's but but if you really
think about it, it is simple.
It's just following steps.
Exactly. It's just measuring and following.
I have a question there.
Yeah, she measures. Do you measure?
Are you OK?
I'm not a measure.
I'm not a measure. I ball totally.
I can't all eyeball things like olive oil
or stuff, but I can't with season.
I'm too nervous. I'm going to ruin the
whole dish by putting
too much of something.
Yeah, no, I just saw my eyeballer.
I'm an eyeballer. That's funny, because
when I lived with Nate,
I was trying to like show him a couple of
things on how to do things.
And he's like, well, how do you know how
much of this to put in there?
I'm like, just guess.
So it's made with love.
Yeah, I say like it's just
this much love and that much love.
Exactly. But I measure my love because I
especially with salt.
I'm always so nervous.
I'm an over salt something.
So OK, so Tallahassee was where
your love of cooking was born.
Really? Yeah. You know, I mean, you had
been observing your mom
and through osmosis
absorbing the the vibe of cooking.
Because even if it is simple or easy, you
still there's still
something about cooking.
There has to be an emotion tied to it, I
think like you are an intention
when you're making it. And I
think that's what makes it.
Whatever dish you're making makes it good
because there's that enjoyment
while you're doing it. You
know, I mean, not always.
I have a whole short that went viral about
complaining about
making dinner every night.
But in general, when you're
making something, you know,
and then you see how it
turns out and all that.
Well, especially when you're making for
someone else. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, making dinner is different than
making a meal. Right.
Making dinner can be mac and
cheese, maybe mashed potatoes.
Those are sides. But when you jump into
like one of your Armenian dishes
and you've got the pilaf and the dolma and
the hummus and that's a meal.
I made meals for 30 years.
And then I had a lot of them. They've all
been really good. Thank you.
And then I did hit a point
where I was like, you know what?
I need a break from
this. I don't want to make.
I was cooking Sunday through Thursday.
And I just was like, I
don't want to do that anymore.
But I mean, I'm 54. So
it was time to also cook.
But I like to have the freedom
to say I'm not cooking tonight.
Where for 30 years I didn't have I put that
on myself like making for the family.
No one made me.
But I gave myself the permission to say
we're doing takeout tonight.
And I never had before. You know, I was
like, no, that's only Friday or Saturday.
But now it's a little more loose.
But when I do cook now, I really, really
enjoy it because I
don't do it as much as I.
Is that a thing in Morocco like to order
food in depends on your family?
My family, not at all. I
wouldn't think so. No, no. Yeah.
I could see your mom made everything like
literally anything you wanted.
She would make it, whether it was like
sweets and pastries or meals
or breakfast, lunch, dinner, everything.
I never ate school lunch.
I would take home or I take
a lunch to school with me.
And funny story, funny stories.
I would take home or I
would take a lunch to school
and I would get kids to trade
me two or three school lunches
in exchange for the lunch I brought.
That's funny. Yeah.
Like my friends would come up to me and I
always had a lunchbox when I was a kid
and they'd be like, what's in there?
I'd be like, it's the pasta.
They're like, no, not the pasta.
And they would actually like come together,
get three kids and be like,
all right, we're all going to give them our
food and we're going to get his food.
So you're getting like the American meal
from their hot lunch.
And then you guys are
exchanging cultures almost right.
Because we're the meals at the American
school, like probably what kids here
were getting very similar.
There was an actual chef, right?
So it was better food, I
would say. Right. Right. Right.
They would be burgers a day.
Sometimes they would have like just all
kinds of like food that you'd get.
Yeah. Lunch here, some
pizzas, things like that.
Every once in a while,
they're throwing something Moroccan.
So it was a mix. Did your mom know?
She did. She found it hilarious. Yeah.
What's your mom's stance on leftovers or is
it a clean slate the next day?
No, big leftover family.
OK, yeah. All right. Perfect.
Especially like pasta, things
like that. Big, big leftovers.
Well, she's probably
making whatever she's making.
She's making a lot of it, right? Yeah.
So there's bound to be leftovers.
I bet it tastes better the next day.
It tastes good that first day,
but like her dolma the next day.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
I think I know what I'm
making for Father's Day.
OK. I think I always
make that on Father's Day.
Actually, she makes these
those spinach, whatever.
Casedillas. Yeah, those are so. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe you have to pick. I'm not doing both.
OK, so you're in Tally,
you're living in an apartment.
You're on your own. You're cooking. You're
doing all the things.
What did you did?
You declare a major right from the start?
Yeah, I went up there
as an engineering major.
Wow. Yeah.
I got out of that real quick.
OK, so how long did that?
That does not work out.
How long did that last?
A year, maybe a year and a half.
Oh, that's a long time.
Now, a year and a half.
Yeah. So the fall of my
sophomore year, I switched majors
not by choice, necessarily.
I was just didn't have the grades and.
Yeah, joining a fraternity didn't help.
I wasn't taking it seriously.
Honestly, I was very
immature still, even though I was
I thought I was more mature
than a lot of kids my age.
But from like thinking of
me getting the floor to stay
in order to build my
future and actually get a degree
for something that I want to do and will
use that hadn't clicked.
Unfortunately, so I was just viewed classes
like I'll go to class sometimes
or things like that.
And then sophomore year that changed.
And I was like, all right, I need to do
something with my life.
So we can't get kicked out of school and we
have to like build a career
and future for ourselves. So yeah.
OK, so what did you switch to?
I switched to economics with
a minor in entrepreneurship.
So are you good at math?
Pretty good at math. Is that your strength?
That was my strength growing up. Yeah,
that's why I chose engineering.
OK, and did you graduate with
economics and an economics degree?
From Florida State. Yes. OK. Yeah.
And then what was your
did you have a minor?
Did you say
entrepreneurship entrepreneurship?
So you graduated with that.
Did you join a frat soft or freshman year?
Freshman year. Yeah.
Freshman year in the spring.
Were you part of Nathan
and Ben's pledge class?
No, I was the next one
probably then to to three after them.
Yeah. OK. I was a year
after that. Yeah. Yeah.
So what made you choose the frat you chose?
My random roommate was a capital. OK.
So we had four kids
living in that apartment
and my roommate was a capital.
So when I lived with him, he
was already in the fraternity.
He was already had an
established friend group, et cetera.
And fall went by.
I had gone to Kapisig twice, I believe.
Just for game days,
tailgates, things like that.
And then spring came around and.
They're doing rush, right?
So first day of rush,
he comes home, how to go.
Great, et cetera. Second
day of rush, he comes home
and he just flings the door open.
I'll never forget it.
I'm sitting on the couch
with a couple of my buddies
and he looks at me and he goes, so this is
your college experience?
He's like, this is what you're going to do.
You're just going to sit on the fucking
couch every day and just watch TV
and not do shit with
your college experience.
He's like, you need to
get up and do something.
He's like, I'm taking you to rush tomorrow.
And I was 18.
I was like, sure, why not? Let's do it.
And I went in and that
was the only frat I went to.
Got a bid and joined the fraternity.
Was that so that wasn't your
plan to be in a frat? Never.
Was there a reason behind that?
I never thought of it.
It just wasn't on your radar.
No. Wow.
What a life changing moment to have your
roommate do that for you.
Literally life changing. Yeah.
So you got into Kappa Sig.
So you're a grade behind Nathan, but two
years younger, right?
Yeah. Because you hopped grades. OK.
Um, what was your first
impression of the frat?
Oh, I don't even know if I remember.
I don't know. The house is intimidating
because there's massive mansion with a
bunch of dudes standing out there in suits.
It was very weird. It's
like you're going in there.
It's like you're going in there trying to
flirt with a bunch of guys
to tell them that you're cool and you guys
should take a chance on me.
So that was very weird. And I didn't know.
I didn't know what I was doing, right?
Like I didn't I just went in there and I
was like, yeah, this is what I do.
This is what I am.
Well, you'd only been in back in America
for two years, right?
Two and a half, two and a half years.
Yeah. So you I mean, you would acclimate it
back in, but still, that's pretty fresh.
Yeah. And is Greek life a thing in Morocco?
So it's such an American experience.
And it's probably not like you research
like did a ton of read.
It wasn't even on your radar.
My understanding of Greek
life came from watching movies
like American Pie and like Road Trip.
Yeah. It's like that.
Where you see the animal house.
Baby. I don't know.
That reminds me of Kappa Sick.
Yeah. Yeah.
So watch that movie.
Yeah. So you were going
in like probably wide eyed.
Yeah, very much so.
And I mean, I think that's a testament to
you because a lot of people go in there,
go into these processes trying really hard.
And the fact that you were you had no
choice but to be your authentic person.
You were supposed to be your authentic self
because you didn't know what you were
supposed to be doing.
Yeah. So they accepted
you for truly who you are.
Yeah. So that's kind of cool.
Yeah. It's very interesting because like
the cultures are different
like kids in high school.
Junior senior year.
A lot of them are working out.
A lot of them are like
playing football things like that.
Like that's the culture and I come in I'm
150 pounds soaking wet.
I don't never been in the gym.
Nothing like that.
Right. So the kind of things that they
looked for in the
fraternity kind of scoping phase,
I didn't really have like I wasn't jacked.
I didn't have like a bunch of
stories about a bunch of girls.
Like I had some but nothing like crazy.
So it was literally just me and they're
like, I don't know what
the fuck to talk about.
But I just moved here from Morocco.
Here's what I am.
Here's what I do.
And having my roommate
being capital probably helped.
But yeah, kind of help laid out.
And then you had mentioned earlier they
helped you guys with your
cleaning up your social media.
Did they how would you say Kappa Sig set
you up and help prepare
you for life after college?
There was a lot of stuff that was very very
starting voice to men.
Like you have all the partying and you have
all the actual brotherhood
and like stuff like that.
But there was a lot of stuff there like
they want you to take your your school
seriously now whether they preached or they
did what they preached.
That's a different thing.
But making sure like they know to teach you
not to drink and drive not to like black
out at the bar because you're embarrassing
yourself and the fraternity how to dress
how to like make a tie.
For example, when you're standing up your
suit should be buttoned when you're sitting
down your suit suit should be open.
Don't be a creep to women.
Just things that are really important for
guys to learn and it's not like it was I
don't want to say it was coming from like
like trying to like mature you but it was
more like we have a brand we have a name.
This is how real men treat themselves and
how they present themselves.
You need to do this.
Yeah, yeah, that's wonderful.
I always got the impression and again, I'm
just a mom that went there just a couple
times but I and I could be wrong but I felt
that Kappa Sig was a really authentic frat
and like real and wasn't trying as much to
put on some sort of illusion.
I guess if that makes sense, but just it
was more regular guys than it was right.
That would be my experience
as well more down to earth.
Yeah, does that make sense?
No, 100%.
It definitely was and I mean, we weren't
the coolest frat on campus.
We weren't getting the most girls.
We weren't the most popular by any means,
but just a bunch of guys
that cared for each other.
Yeah, I'm at the end of the day.
That's what it was and it was just normal.
Some normal dudes.
Well, when I was there for a
party, there were a lot of girls.
I mean, it was a rager.
So and you guys were on sorority row.
Yeah, so nice, but and right across from I
think pots and or what
right across from onyx.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the location you can't
beat the location of Kappa sick.
Not at all.
There's nothing better than that, but it
seemed like it was it was pumping.
But I mean, what you're saying as far as
the Brotherhood, it feels like the fact
that you guys were all able to be
yourselves, then you were able to truly
bond together because it was all real.
Would you say that's accurate?
Yeah, definitely.
And it's like the early it's it's an
interesting kind of pledge ship because the
early parts, it's all of the cookie cutter
stuff, if you will, like the stuff I just
talked to you about, like,
this is what's important.
This is what you need to do.
This is how you dress, how you act.
Don't get too drunk at the bar.
Don't black out.
Don't drive if you're drinking.
Can't get in fights with your
brothers, just shit like that.
And then as they weed it out, a lot of the
kids, that's where it kind of funneled down
into more fraternity, Brotherhood, actual
events where they're trying to teach you.
They're trying to put everyone else in the
fraternity against you so that you and your
pledge class bond together.
And there's a lot of experiences that they
put you through where you're like, all we
have is each other as the pledge class.
No one else here likes us.
I don't even know how we're going to be
these guys, brothers,
because they all hate us.
That's just the facade they put on.
So it turns you close to each other.
And that's like my
experience with my pledge class.
Like I'm the only one that
had an apartment at that point.
And I would have after any event, 13, 14
dudes on my couch and on the floor, just
debriefing and talking,
watching shows and just talking shit.
Right.
And is this during
rush you're talking about?
This is during pledge ship.
Yeah.
And then once you're in, then I assume all
that stops and you guys
are one brotherhood, right?
And it's a mindfuck.
It's like I thought you hated it.
Yeah.
What the fuck has been going on?
And they're like, no,
that's just how it is.
And then your brother and the new pledge
class comes in and it's the same.
You have to do it.
Yeah, do the same.
So I mean, I don't
know anything about that.
What is it?
Eight weeks, nine weeks of pledging?
Depends what you ask.
But it's a long time.
I feel like it's most
of that fall semester.
It's most of the semester and I don't want
to know everything that goes on as a
mother, but I can only imagine there's some
times that it's fairly traumatic or you're
not sure if you're going to make it.
I assume that's the job of the brothers.
So it must be such a
euphoric feeling when you do.
Yeah, 100%.
It's a journey and it's at certain points.
You're like, what the fuck am I doing?
Yeah.
Why am I here?
I already had friends.
I enjoy what I was doing before.
Like, what is this?
Right.
But it's there's just so
many guys in there with you.
They're like, really, you're going to quit.
We're in this together and it's just set up
in a very, very interesting, like unique
way that you just have each other's backs
and you don't let each it's like.
You ever get in like someone starts being
really negative and then automatically you
start being more positive and in a
different conversation.
Flips.
That's kind of how it is.
Yeah.
Like someone's like, I
can't fucking do this anymore.
He's like, dude, relax.
You know, what's interesting is Nathan
tells us a lot, right?
He's shared a lot of
stuff with us over the years.
If you go in too deep on his that pledge
experience, he doesn't really go to he
doesn't share it with us.
Yeah, and it's probably the code you guys
have with the fraternity.
So it's like that's untouchable.
Can we respect that?
We don't we don't cry.
We don't cry.
That's and it's funny
because now we're grown men.
Yeah, I still don't talk about it.
Yeah.
You know, no, no, no.
I think someone asked me, I'm not giving
him the full picture.
Yeah.
It feels like you still owe something to
the fraternity and to like the the group
itself where you're like, I'm not going to
say what happened or what we
did or any anything like that.
Well, I mean, aren't you a brother for life
once your brother, you know, and would you
say you're still very close
to majority of your brothers?
Yeah, very much.
So, I mean, I talked to Nathan almost every
day, Mac, Ben, a zoo, Spencer, Evan.
It's a very big group and we're very
blessed to have each other,
but we talk almost every day.
Yeah, I travel.
That's who I travel with.
I've made a lot of friends at Florida State
outside of the fraternity, like my roommate
that I live with now, Juan and a lot of our
friends down there, but it's it's real.
You definitely stay together forever.
It's going to be the guys at my wedding,
hopefully my funeral.
Yeah.
Well, you do life together afterwards.
I think that was the gift
that Kapisig gave to all of you.
Do you do you know if other frets from FSU,
if they're as tight as you guys
are because you guys are tight.
It's cool to see from our perspective, but
are the other frets as tight?
A lot of them are.
Okay.
A lot of them are.
A lot of them don't have as big of a group
as we do that stay tight.
But like a lot of my friends in Miami, they
were all in the same fraternity granted.
A lot of them knew each other from Miami
before they went up to Florida State.
Yeah, but they're still tight.
A lot of fraternities are like that.
That remains the so like once you get to
junior senior year of college, you realize
you're like, oh, there's a ton of other
people out here that I could meet.
I shouldn't just stay in my fraternity.
You make a ton of other friends, especially
like working nightlife, things like that.
But the primary group
always remains that fraternity.
That's your core group.
Okay.
So you're saying economics.
You're in Kappa Sig.
Did you work at all?
Yeah, I did.
What was my first job?
My first job was a bar back at Baja's.
That's a bar in Tally nightclub.
Nightclub.
Tallahassee.
Yeah.
Mac, my friend Mac got me that job.
He used to bartend.
At one of the sister locations.
So I started bar back in there and then I
had a kitchen boy job at Zeta
when I joined the fraternity.
That's a sorority, right?
Yeah.
So what would you do?
I would clean the dishes, bring out the
food, change out the food
dishes, clean the kitchen.
And they paid you.
And they sent me home with like enough food
to feed me in the fraternity.
Was this the sorority right across the
street from you guys?
That's convenient.
Very convenient.
So was it just for their events or was it
for every time they had meals every day?
Wow.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah.
So it's it's common.
Every sorority has their kitchen boys and
they'll bring out the food, serve it clean,
make sure the kitchen is
clean when they leave, etc.
And the page.
I don't know, it's $10 an hour.
Yeah, but how convenient is that?
Yes and food.
Yeah and food and you
get to meet some girls.
Yeah, right.
That's that's the extra bonus.
So how long did you do that?
Two years and then I got promoted.
So I was a bar back and then the bar owner
Zen, Zen and Simon,
they opened a second bar.
So I was a bar back there as well.
So I had kind of two jobs and then the
kitchen boy job and I got promoted to a
bartender at both of those
places and I was college rich.
So I just quit the kitchen boy job.
I had had enough of it.
House mom was crazy.
She's still alive.
But so you were working a lot.
Yeah, I was so my freshman year spring
break were down in Fort Lauderdale.
My dad didn't want me
to go to Florida State.
He wanted me to live with him and go to St.
Pete College like my brother, but he calls
me and he's like, hey, I'm not
paying for your shit anymore.
Come home and I'll pay for your shit.
So this was freshman
year at FSU spring break.
He's like, I don't want you up there.
Yeah, if you come home and go to school
here, I'll pay for everything.
It was sophomore year, actually.
Okay.
Yeah.
But yeah, he's like come home.
We're not doing this anymore because he was
supporting me sending
me money for everything.
And I was like, no, I'm not leaving.
I've made friends here.
I like it here.
I don't like St. Pete.
All my friends from high school in St. Pete
weren't doing anything with their lives.
So I was like, I'll figure it out.
So did he did he at least pay tuition or
was it up until that point?
Up to that.
So yeah, you're good.
Then all of a sudden he's
like, I want you to come home.
If not, you're on your own and that meant
tuition, room board, the whole thing.
Good.
Well, did something happen
to trigger that reaction?
So he'd never wanted me to go and my
brother being the great
brother that he is, literally
just sat him down and goes, this kid has to
go get his own college experience and live
by himself and grow up.
You need to let him to go to Florida State.
It's not that expensive.
Tuition wise, like tuition
was like $3,000 a semester.
Like tuition wise in
state, Florida is a deal.
Yeah, really.
Incredible.
Yeah, it is.
But yeah, so my brother convinced him and I
think my dad just got to a point where he's
like, I don't see this kid.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing.
He can come home and go to school here.
There's schools here and
I'll pay for your stuff.
So he just got nervous.
It sounds like about something.
He just wanted you home.
No idea.
He just wanted me home and I was a young
college kid that didn't ask why.
I was just like, no.
And so then you had to figure out how to
pay for tuition, room and board.
Yeah.
And were you living in
the frat or in an apartment?
I was living in an apartment and this was
right before I started
working all these jobs
and I got evicted
because I couldn't pay rent.
Oh my god.
So I moved in to my buddy
Squawks room in the fraternity.
Squawk.
Yeah, Squawk.
They literally took me in and I literally
just slept on his couch
for like a whole summer.
And then now we're going into junior year.
Now we're going into, no,
we're going in a sophomore year.
I don't know why I mixed that up.
It was, yeah.
So it was freshman year.
It was freshman year.
So your dad kind of gave it that time and
but then he realized I can't do this.
The first year.
So you supported yourself through three
years of Florida State.
Three and a half.
Three and a half years of Florida State.
Yeah, I did an extra
semester my senior year.
So for sophomore year, where did you live?
Sophomore year.
Sophomore year is when I
moved into the fraternity house.
Okay.
So rent was $500 a month.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you were working these three jobs
basically for sophomore
year and in a frat and studying
economics and entrepreneur.
That's a lot.
It was a lot.
It was fun.
Yeah.
It was a good time.
And then you ended up making enough bar
backing that you could
quit working at the sorority.
No, I didn't quit working at the sorority.
So I got promoted to a bartender.
Okay, and we were making for college
comparatively to rent what
you spend on food on alcohol.
If you were to go out, etc.
Like I was making a lot of money.
Yeah, it was like maybe $1,500 a weekend.
Oh, wow.
But back then, that's a good change.
No, that's a lot of a lot.
You rent $500.
Yeah.
And we're eating Chipotle
and Chick-fil-A every day.
Yeah, or I'm cooking at home and being in
the nightlife scene, you're
not paying to get into any of the
bars.
You're not paying for drinks.
So we were college rich.
Yeah.
And you could that's more than enough to
cover your tuition by far.
Yeah, everything.
And I got financial aid.
Okay.
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's impressive though
that you did pulled that off.
Yeah, I honestly like because you hustled
until you got to a stage
where a job that you could quit
the other jobs, but you you did what you
needed to do and you still
were able to fulfill your
commitments as a brother with Kappa Sig and
still make grades and
graduate with your degree.
I mean, have you recognized how hard you
worked and balanced during
that time yet in your life?
I don't think about it often.
It's kind of just like it's always been you
got to do what you got to do, right?
Like you're not we're not just going to lay
down and fail or take it
like this is these are the
circumstances what needs to be done to get
through them and you just do it.
Yeah, I've always known you as a hustler.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, I remember you hustling in college.
I think you're probably hustling now.
I know we'll probably get there a little
bit, but yeah, well and
you're done is a good example of
that.
You've grown up with a great model of that
and plus the life
experiences you went through, you
know, suddenly moving from America back to
Morocco and then moving
you've been placed in situations
where I got to figure this out.
I got it.
I have to adjust to this.
So you would already practice that
throughout your childhood and
then you were able I think that
benefited you and things hit you at FSU.
I think so because I was a mama's boy
growing up not even by choice.
Like my mom was just so in my shit.
Like my mom knew everything I was doing
always what I was doing.
She made my schedule, etc.
When I was in middle school and early high
school, which looking back
at it, I'm so thankful for.
Yeah, she's the reason I learned the
language is I know she's the
reason I played sports out of
school like this woman would just go above
and beyond to make sure I
was filling my time learning
doing like God bless her.
Yeah, but having her removed from the
picture junior year of high school.
It's just like all right, you got to start
growing up right now.
Like my aunt has her own kid in the job.
Like she's not looking
after every single detail.
So I think that played a big role and by
the time I got to
Tallahassee, I was alone alone, but it's
been like I've it's kind of been like this
for a year and a half two years now.
Yeah, no, I think you're right that huge
adjustment from
because I'm that type of mom.
So I know exactly what
you're talking about.
So I'm just picturing of like Nathan had
gone through that where all of
a sudden I wasn't in his life
and the huge adjustment he would have had
to make at that time.
So I understand what you're talking about
when you're saying that so
the growth that had to have come
during that time is indescribable and was
preparing you I think for what happened at
Florida State because
then when that was laid out
for you, you didn't hesitate.
You're like I can do this.
Yeah, you know, and then you did.
I had no idea how I was going
to do it, but you figured it out.
I figured it out.
It feels like though that background you
described is what gave you the strength
perseverance perspective
to get up every day and
go take care of your shit.
Yeah, right.
I would think so.
100% strong background family background.
So if you had to pick one of your best
memories from your time up in
Tallahassee, what would that be?
It doesn't have to be the
best memory, but one of them.
That's tough.
I don't know.
Get it joining the frat was great.
Getting promoted to a bartender was great.
I don't know it would have to
be a lot of the trips we took.
We as you guys know, we went
to a lot of music festivals.
We traveled a lot.
So that was always some of the best times
we've ever had when you'd beat a music
festival and you look around
and there's like 20 of your best friends
all there together like Okachobi that
always comes up as as
one of the best times.
Just having everyone there.
Everyone's happy.
Everyone's safe.
I would say those are probably the best
moments either trips or our our ways of
taking trips back then
were music festivals.
Yeah, I would say it was probably the music
festivals when you had everyone together.
Let's say say one of those.
Yeah, most likely the first Okachobi.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one
that sticks out always.
I remember hearing things about that from
Nathan and I know that all of those are
such cherished memories for him.
Yeah, and then later for Kaya.
Exactly.
She was brought into the mix,
you know, so that's wonderful.
So when you graduated, did you already have
a plan of where you were
going and what you were doing?
I had no idea what I was
doing or where I was going.
I graduated and me and Nate were close at
that point and he's like,
hey, I work at this company.
Granted, they're hiring.
You need a job?
I was like, yeah, I do and
I need somewhere to move.
So that's a prime example of the fraternity
training changing everything.
And I know we've talked about the
fraternity a lot, but it really was a
pivotal thing in my life because I met Nate
through the fraternity.
He's my best friend brother till this day.
He got me my first job out of college.
I learned how to work like a office job
there, learned good habits, etc.
And that set me up for where I'm at now.
And where did you live when
you first got out of school?
I got out of school.
I went home to Tampa, St. Pete, where my
dad was at while I applied for the for
granite where Nate worked and then I got
hired and moved down me
and Nate moved in together.
And that was down here in South Florida.
And Delra in Boynton.
Now, did your dad go to graduation?
We didn't have a graduation.
It was COVID.
You were part of the COVID graduation.
Yeah, yeah.
He went to my high
school graduation, of course.
Yeah, cried so much.
Yeah, yeah.
I've never seen him cry two times.
My brother's graduation and my graduation.
That's cool.
I still think about all you kids that
didn't get graduations and the high
schoolers that didn't get prom and my heart
just breaks because you
can't go back and get that.
So now I'm sure your mom, though, is very
proud and thrilled for you
with graduating from method.
Was she okay with Florida State?
She yeah, she's like go.
She was not okay with me changing majors.
But yeah, she was like, if your dad can
afford it, if you guys can figure it out,
wherever you need to go, you
just need to get an education.
Yeah.
And my mom is she's like, why are you not
getting your master's degree?
Why are you not getting this?
You need to be getting educated more.
So anyway, I can make myself better.
My mom's all for it.
Yeah, your big your biggest cheerleader.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So you're living in South Florida.
You're working your first job and your
first office job, as you said.
So what was your
impression of the corporate world?
This is fucking terrible.
My first company was the most boring.
Terrible company.
I was working with the most bland people.
It was nothing was good about it.
Like if Nathan wasn't there as my roommate,
my coworker, I probably
would have lost my mind.
Like I didn't like the
people I worked with.
I sold phone and as a salesperson, my job
was to sell phone and internet lines to
businesses, right from
T-Mobile Verizon, AT&T, Comcast, etc.
And we had the discounted business rates.
So you're calling C like CFO, CIOs,
executives, IT people, etc.
And you're like, hey, I can save you money
on your phone and internet.
And their response is I set up my phone and
internet when we started this company.
And my goal was to never
think about this ever again.
I don't want to talk to you.
There's nothing to be spoken.
My very tough sale, right?
Yeah, my phone bills $1,500.
You're going to save me $500.
I think we're good.
That sounds like a lot of a savings though.
$500.
It's a pain in the ass to
switch and it could fail.
There's risk associated.
Yeah, but it just
wasn't a lot of rejection.
A lot of rejection.
I wasn't excited about what I was doing.
It was boring.
Would you say you learned anything though
from all that cold calling?
Absolutely.
One thing you can't dismiss about that
company is their training.
They had something called Granite
University where they
taught you a lot about their
solutions, a lot about how to position
them, how to sell and being at a company
that's way bigger and way better funded and
has is public like all these things.
They don't have that and the amount they
invested in their people is something
that I definitely still
appreciate to this day.
So it's almost like a little bit of an
extension of your education for my career.
Yes.
Yeah, that you took with you.
Yeah.
So I always say those jobs those first jobs
even though they suck there's something
you invariably take with you and there's
parts of it that you
always continue to benefit
from through the rest of your careers.
You just don't realize it
until you're away from it.
Absolutely.
Like I've always told Nathan.
It's like you start in phone sales.
It's sort of a rite of passage in many ways
for bigger and better sales jobs because if
you can handle the rejection and the
repetitiveness the
redundancy the call call call call you
learn the gift to gab you get somebody to
hold on and talk to you
for 30 seconds instead
of go fuck yourself.
You know, yeah, it's
it's a great great lesson.
Yeah, absolutely.
And you also get to figure
out what you don't want to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, very important.
Yeah, that's that's just as important.
So how long were you there?
Year 12 months and then what happened and
then I went to the company.
I'm at today.
SAP.
So I met someone on my friend
Madison was having her birthday.
We rented out a boat in Miami and we're out
on the water having fun.
I meet this guy and he's
like, what are you doing for work?
I'm like, I work at this company.
I fucking hate it and he's like, well, I
work at this global software company.
We're hiring right now.
Literally just met this guy.
He's like, I'll refer you if you want refer
me got the interview
got the job or they were
about to make me the job offer and they're
like, well, you have to
move to Boston for this job.
I was like, all right, fuck it.
Looked up the company learned about it.
How big they are how they're the number one
in the space they're in number
one company in the space that
they're in and yes took the risk.
So you moved to Boston.
Yep.
And how long were you up there 13 months
and how it because you're coming from
Morocco and then Florida.
I assume this is the
coldest place you've lived.
Awesome.
So how was the was it a
bit of a culture shock?
How was Boston for you?
It was not great.
I didn't like Boston.
I didn't like the people.
I didn't like the weather.
I don't want to be a Debbie downer, but
that's not the place for me at all.
So what parts of it weren't a fit the
people in what way very snotty
kind of like entitled people.
Obviously, there's plenty of great people
that I met up there that
are still friends to this day.
So it's not everyone from Boston is that
but it's just there's no like I didn't what
they do on a day to day
what their activities were their interests
just didn't align with me.
They had their sports teams and they had
their underground bars that they would
drink at all the people I
met and that that was not a lot of joy
there right not at all.
They're not the happiest people.
They're not the happy.
I like being outside.
I like doing shit.
They there was none of that.
It was just all drinking and sports.
Do they not have outdoor activities?
They do.
Okay, doing me and my roommate who was a
blessing that I lived with him.
That's all we would do
when it wasn't winter.
They had a beach there.
We would go to all the time a beautiful
Park called the Commons
right in the middle of Boston.
The city is absolutely beautiful and the
history the history the food the culture,
but I just didn't mesh
well with the people.
I might have been where I
was at that point in my life.
Maybe I just went in not liking it, but I
did not enjoy my time.
Keep in mind you're cooped up like I know
someone who lives there.
It's like 50 degrees there this weekend.
It's 90 here.
Yeah, so it's still kind of chilly.
It's probably not gray and depressing
because the leaves have finally come out,
but it's colder most of the year.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
And people have this mentality where they
just accept that it's the
winter and we're not going to do it.
Anything was going to stay at home.
We're not going to work out
not an active lifestyle at all.
And I'm like this was depressing.
Yeah, like get up and do something though.
I go.
No, it's snow and it's cold.
I'm like this is not
what I want in my life.
Yeah.
So when your time was up
there, you were ready to come back.
Yeah, I tried to get out of
there before my time was up there.
Yeah, it was that the mothership in the US.
Does that why you had to go up there or no?
So they had just opened an office up there
and they were hiring
people for my role out of there.
So they wanted me to move up there.
Now it's Atlanta.
So everyone that's
getting hired now is in Atlanta.
And yeah, that's just where
they had all their funding.
They got a new office and they
were trying to grow that team.
Yeah, what are you doing for that company?
I'm an account executive.
So I'm a salesperson.
I lead our engagements with customers to
identify any challenges.
They're looking to address any process
improvements, any initiatives, etc.
I'll bring in my team will identify like
the software that we have will
identify the challenges, etc.
How they want to improve
their business challenges.
They're dealing with and then the software
solutions that will help them get there how
they'll help them get there.
We show them that and
then we sell them software.
Okay, and are you enjoying it still?
Yeah, I love it.
It's really hard and I like it a lot.
It's challenging.
It's very challenging.
So were they okay with you leaving Boston?
I got promoted.
Okay, so then you could leave.
Yeah.
So when I got promoted, I got promoted to
the South team and was fully remote.
So I left Boston.
And then where did you
go when you left Boston?
I came down to Fort Lauderdale.
I moved in with with Nick that you guys
know if you haven't
listened to that episode.
We did an episode with Nick Witcher from
Yif now, which stands for
yo, it's fucking nice out.
And he's a entrepreneur.
So definitely look for that episode.
It's a it's a great
episode and you lived with him.
I did last year.
Check out Yif know.com.
Yes, you need some trendy great clothes.
It's not just a clothing company.
It's a lifestyle.
It's a yeah, it's a great out.
It is.
It's a great brand.
You know, I don't know.
I did.
Do you know about his five
the five senses that they have?
It's he wants the whole brand
to be felt with all the senses.
So see here touch smell and taste.
Okay, so they're expanding into all those.
So he they have a wine that they're
developing and a candle for sense.
And the scene would be the scene, you know,
yeah, and the hearing is the radio, the Yif
no radio and then the
touch is the clothing.
Yeah, I think that's brilliant marketing.
He's he cares about his company a lot and
he's put a lot of time and
effort and just is intentional
with what he does.
And I don't think it's an if it's a one.
Yeah.
Oh, 100% blow up that manly works very very
hard and he's a visionary.
I would say yeah, I mean, I highly I'm
telling you listeners,
you should go to Yif no.com
and get some stuff
because I agree with you.
It's going to be a when you're going to be
hearing about this
brand more than you realize.
So get in get in now.
Get in now.
Bye.
Bye early.
Yeah, the other thing to mention is for
folks who did listen to
that episode Nick is up in
New York like he talked about
and he's so it's all going well.
That's a great point.
He's up there now.
Yeah, head first.
Only reason he's up there is the company.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So and follow him on
Instagram and TikTok as well.
Okay, so so you lived with Nick last year
and then are you still in Fort Lauderdale?
I'm in Miami now.
Okay.
What made you decide to go to Miami?
Nick was leaving.
So he was moving up to New York.
I knew that and the rest of my friends
outside of my friend Tito, Eric and my
buddy Roland who was
moving in with his girlfriend.
All the rest of my friends
lived either in Miami or Boca.
So it was all right.
They live by myself or I try somewhere else
out and my plan in life is to end up in St.
Petersburg near the rest of my family
that's located here in the US.
So let's try Miami.
Let's give it a shot.
I always love Miami.
I think it's one of a
kind probably my favorite.
City.
So yeah, just gave it a shot.
I had one of my best friends Juan that
needed a roommate as well.
So it kind of lined up
perfectly and you're enjoying it.
I love it.
So are there any cons to living in Miami?
There's plenty of cons.
There's cons of living everywhere.
Yeah, but would you what would you say?
It sounds like Miami is a really good fit.
Is there anything that doesn't fit for you?
A lot of the people down there.
There's a lot there's
a lot of great people.
Some of my favorite people live down there,
but there's definitely a
culture of like influencers
and gold diggers and things like that as
the stereotype is and
that's just not doesn't really
mesh with me give you an example.
You go to the gym.
Everyone has a fucking tripod
recording themselves workout.
Okay, that's annoying.
I'm just like what are we doing here?
Yeah, like listen.
If you're some Jack dude or some girl
that's absolutely ripped
and Jack and you're making
content great, but when you look like every
other guy like when you're literally just
felt like a normal dude and you're
recording every workout
you do I'm like what what are
we doing here?
Yeah, you ever photobomb anybody like get
in and mess with their shots or anything.
I don't mess with it, but I don't like you
don't you don't around it.
I don't adjust at all.
I walk right in front of your camera.
I don't give a fuck.
Do they get mad?
I don't care.
I look at them.
I pay for the gym too.
It's true.
Well, a lot of gyms are now
starting to have no recording.
What do you call it like rules rules
because it's getting so crazy.
Yeah, and also a lot of people are
recording the locker rooms
and so and then that's people
are suing.
Yeah, so they're
starting to be like nothing.
Yeah, you know, I could see that it's gone
so far that pretty soon.
There'll be just a few gyms where
influencers can go and the
rest of them will get back to
normal.
Yeah more but but overall
Miami's yeah, Miami's great.
I really like one thing.
I really like about Miami's.
There's a lot of Hispanic
people in Hispanic culture.
Yeah, and their people in their culture the
way they interact with their families.
They way they care about each other and
their friends and how
it's always family first in
like kind of the community first that
reminds me a lot of Morocco and how
I grew up in my family.
So I love that so much like all my friends.
I know their parents grandparents.
They always invite us over
will hang out with them, etc.
And that that feels like something.
Yeah, yeah something important and reminds
you of home a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So who's insane Pete?
Is it your dad?
It's my brother my dad my brother's wife my
nephew Zane and my aunt
her son and my cousin.
Okay, so I heard some would
be your cousin too, right?
Okay.
So you have some cousins you have your
nephew who's how old is he now?
He's going on nine months now.
Oh my gosh, and I've seen pictures.
He's adorable.
He's a cutie.
He loves being an awful.
I love it.
I love that kid so much.
You it's it's insane.
I am single-handedly moving back to St.
Petersburg because of him.
Yeah, because I just want to be around for
him coming up and all
the small moments teach
him how to play soccer
teach him everything everything.
I know you probably didn't know how what
what it meant how it
would feel until they handed
him to you and then all of a sudden you're
like, oh, I will literally kill for this.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you cry when you
held him for the first time?
I did not.
But it gives you a little bit of a window
into what it's like to be a parent.
It does and how much love you have parent
has for their child and how
much damn effort goes into it.
Yeah.
Nonstop ever never ends never ends like it
was seven like I used to go
over to my brother's place
and we used to hang out play video games or
go out and play soccer or shit like that.
Now it's like he's on the clock.
Yeah, we might get an hour to 11 p.m.
It's it's funny you say that
my buddy came over earlier.
He had his kid with him and I noticed I'm
just sitting against the car and he's
walking around the kid
goes further so I had to shift cars.
I was chillin, but he's having to chase
this little guy around.
Yeah, a lot of work.
It does evolve.
Yeah, and nothing else is
nothing's the same anymore.
Right.
You have this person that relies on you for
everything and if anything happens to them,
it's your fault.
Yes, you're yeah, their caregiver.
Does that does that scare you to be a dad
or make you want to be one?
I'm really excited.
Yeah, it does not scare me.
That's cool.
Yeah, because it isn't
just the physical safety.
You're I always say you're wearing your
heart on your sleeve and then when your
children leave your heart leaves with them.
It's the emotional and mental exhaustion of
the worry the love all that.
So that's what really never ends because
there is an evolution.
Eventually, you're not having to follow
them around all the time, right?
But almost the more independent they get
the bigger the worries are but it's so
rewarding like there.
I always say there's an emotion.
You don't have until you become a parent.
It's a totally different
emotion and once you become a parent,
you're like, oh and then you also
understand why your
parents were maybe were so crazy.
It's because you're like, I get it now, you
know, but it's it's cool.
I'm happy for your brother and his wife to
I'm sure they're loving it.
They are they're great
parents both awesome.
And then how's your dad doing over there?
He's doing well.
He's doing well.
Yeah, my dad has had
Parkinson's disease for since he was 47.
So about 15 years now.
Wow.
So he got pretty far.
It got pretty bad.
Okay, so was he when he came back over
here, did he open up more businesses?
Yeah, same business that he has station.
Yeah, and then so he's just working his job
running his gas station.
And then what made him go to the doctor
when he was around that age to say
something's going on.
Do you know he got diagnosed Parkinson's
and Morocco before we moved back here.
So okay, so you had this right here like
between your index and your thumb.
Yeah, started hitting one of these started
like like twitching and just moving his
finger on its own, right?
Okay, he wasn't in control.
So you went to doctors like the fuck is
this and they were like you have early
symptoms of Parkinson's
and then they went from that muscle to his
hand to his arm to his
like whole arm and shoulder
and then just spread across his whole body.
So the progression how long did that take
about to be like to its
worst point like 10 years.
So from like 47 to 57 is
when it was progressing.
Yeah, how old is he now 62
going to turn 62 in in August.
So that had to have been a complete blow
for you and your brother.
Yeah, and for him and
well obviously for him.
Did he continue running his gas station
through the progression of
the disease until towards
the end and he had a couple and then he
sold sold one of them and then
yeah, just had the single one.
And how did his mental state how was that
affected during that time?
Very much so because as a man being the
provider forever now
you're walking into a room.
Everyone's like oh my god, you're so sick.
I feel so bad for you.
You just stopped seeing people.
Okay, just was was there pressure on you to
come back and run the
family business at all?
My brother was helping with that.
I've made it clear from early on that I
didn't want to do that.
Yeah, but there was a little bit of
pressure up front and I told him I was
like, that's not being a boy.
Yeah, but the mail.
Yeah, I was like, I don't want to yeah,
that's not the career path.
I'm taking.
Yeah.
So did he end up kind of isolating himself?
Yeah and not seeing friends not going to
mosque family or no family not
even your mom, sister cousins.
What about you?
Yeah, absolutely.
So you and your brother
became his only people.
Yeah, see what about his daughter and his
girlfriend and then
your brother's girlfriend.
No, my my dad's girlfriend.
Oh, so he has a girlfriend.
Yeah.
Okay.
Has she been there since he got to America
basically like with him a long time?
She's yeah, she's been
him with him for a while.
So she's been here during the progression.
She's lives in Morocco and visits.
Okay, but she'll come here for extended
periods of time, but
pretty much that was it.
He had her and me and my brother and yeah,
he kind of just isolated himself didn't
enjoy being around people and it's a very
interesting disease because the more
stressed out you get the more you shake.
Yeah, so he would go to a restaurant.
He'd be fine.
Then the waiter would start asking him
questions and he'd start shaking a little
bit and then he'd notice someone looked at
him shaking and he starts shaking more.
So it's really tough
and it got interesting.
It's tied psychologically.
Yeah.
That it what's going on in your brain can
trigger it like right then.
Yeah, it's not just the like
an autoimmune physical thing.
There's I was I was talking about this
where psilocybin is being experimented on
with Parkinson's patients.
So minor doses of
psilocybin magic mushrooms, right?
And it's helping because it reduces the
anxiety and the depression and it has a
positive impact on the on
the twitching and the shaking.
Yeah, fascinating stuff.
But there is a mind body component, you
know, obviously but yeah, more a
psychological mind part of it.
So it the area that creates dopamine in
your brain doesn't create it anymore when
you have Parkinson's.
That's one of the main causes.
So I'm sure that helps
with with the psilocybin.
But so then you're taking a medicine that
creates fake dopamine and that's dangerous
because you're taking a dopamine pill.
But yes, pretty crazy.
Did the dopamine pill
make the Parkinson's worse?
No, it made may have made the Parkinson's
worse, but it helped with the
symptoms at that point in time.
So he was shakeless.
Okay.
So basically if his brain chemistry was
regulated, then he should he shook less.
Yes.
So did he try any experimental?
Well, he's he's pretty much good now.
So what happened?
So he found out about a surgery
called deep brain stimulation.
Deep brain stimulation.
This is pretty incredible.
I think Nathan gave me the update and I'm
curious to hear this actually.
It's absolutely fascinating.
It's one of the most incredible things that
I've seen and it's like I've always
respected doctors and
nurses, but seeing this go down.
I was like these people are God sense and
this is like it made
me reconsider my career.
I was like, this is a real fucking job.
Yeah, like what I'm doing is I'm just
making money like this is a
real fucking me with these exactly.
Okay.
So for your dad's Parkinson's that he had
had for what 14 years, he's tried this new
surgery called brain
deep brain stimulation.
Brain stimulation.
Okay.
So for our listeners who maybe have are
going through that or have family members,
can you describe what that is?
Yeah, absolutely.
So what they do is they
insert a device into your brain.
So it's brain surgery.
Okay, and you have your right side of your
brain, your left side of your brain.
So there's two devices in there and they
insert a device in a battery that device
goes all the way into like the middle part
of your head where your dopamine is created
and it that device with the battery heats
up that area in your brain.
So that it starts creating dopamine again,
because that's what's created that heat
that pressure in there.
There's obviously a scientific explanation
that I don't know, but this is how the
doctor explained it to me.
So this device is
connected to a remote, right?
You turn it on and it starts heating up
that area of your brain and pretty much
reverses what caused your Parkinson's.
So instead of you lacking dopamine for it
not being able to heat up now, it heats up
and you're producing dopamine like normal.
So you stop shaking and you literally have
a device that you can turn on
or turn off that controls that.
That is amazing.
It's it's it's insane.
Didn't Nathan, I think he might have been
telling me it might have I might be
confusing things, but wasn't he awake as
they were doing it or
did he get knocked out?
He got knocked out.
He did.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He he got knocked out.
They put it in and then they will come up
and tested it on him for the
first time while he was awake.
Okay, but how long was he
in surgery for four hours?
Maybe five and was this in St.
St. Pete, Tampa General.
So Tampa General in Florida
does the doctor Oliver Flutie.
Shout out to that man.
Absolute impeccable human great doctor very
respected in that hospital.
Clearly very young man.
He just changed all of our lives.
That is amazing.
With his hands.
So your dad now can
function normally doesn't shake.
He doesn't shake.
Yeah, this park.
So everyone associates the
shaking with Parkinson's, right?
Were there other things like psychological
things or mind function symptoms?
Yeah, or yeah.
Well, I think the psychological things were
mainly created by a you shaking how you
feel by yourself and be the medicine you
take because you're pretty much taking.
A medicine that creates fake dopamine in
your head and that leads to compulsive
behaviors like like I was just reading
about this because I didn't even know what
this drug was until years in my dad taking
it and I actually listen to
a podcast and heard about it.
But this medicine creating fake dopamine
gives you compulsive
habits like drinking gambling.
Trying to sleep around double-edged sword.
Yeah.
Were you seeing your dad having any of
those traits from that medicine?
Not necessarily, but I spent very little
time with my dad being going to college and
then yeah, Boston, etc.
So I wasn't with him for
extended periods of time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So all of these symptoms, I'm just reading
about him, but he's done with that, right?
He doesn't take the medicine anymore.
So he's living a normal life now.
He got another lease on his life.
And how long ago was this?
January.
So it was recent.
Very recent.
Yeah.
And is the recovery minimal?
It's a couple weeks.
I went up there.
I took care of him.
I took him to surgery, stayed with him
throughout surgery, took care of him until
he was back to like 80, 90%.
It's a miracle.
Yeah, it's a miracle.
It's a hundred percent a miracle.
It's a miracle.
So what how has he retackled life?
What things has he done again?
Now?
He's been traveling.
Yeah.
He's been literally just
enjoying his life, working out.
He's living the life of a young man again.
Has a smile again.
Yeah.
He can hold his grandson.
Yeah, probably couldn't
as well before right now.
He was scared to.
Yes, I mean, yeah.
Like he was so self-conscious that he
wouldn't want to do that.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
I mean, that is God's son.
I think in the world a couple months ago.
He's he's a new man.
It's it's really really incredible.
And you said he's going to be 63.
He's so young man.
I know it sounds old to you guys, but trust
me, you're still living when you're that
age.
Absolutely.
So you're not even retired for most people.
No, that's absolutely okay.
So again, if anyone has a family member or
suffering this themselves, it's called deep
brain stimulation, deep brain stimulation
and Tampa General definitely does it.
And the doctor again, Oliver Flutie, Doctor
Oliver Flutie,
incredible man, great man, great
doctor life change.
And the success rate is your dad.
Is that a pretty normal example of the
success rate of the surgery?
Yep.
The doctor was like don't you
have nothing to worry about?
He's like we do this all the time now and
it's it's it's successful.
I'm blown away.
Me too.
And listen, I may have messed up or gotten
some of the details
wrong around the sickness
to medicine, etc.
I'm not a doctor obviously, but that's the
surgery he got and that's the results that
I've seen with my own eyes.
It's amazing.
People can just go Google it.
Yeah, don't take my word for it.
That is I'm all Tampa General.
They'll tell you all about it.
I'm so happy for your dad for you, your
brother, your whole
family, your nephew, your whole
family.
Yeah, it just I am so it's so wonderful.
Yeah, that's that's great.
So that's that's like 2025.
Anything else can happen that 2025 is
already the best year.
Yep for that.
So it's crazy.
He's walking around with two batteries in
his head at all times.
Can you see them like
they're probably small, right?
Yeah, so the doctor being the genius that
he is, he put the
devices in right where his
hairline starts.
So his hairline covers the scars.
It's amazing.
Yeah, it's amazing to go to like a
follow-up to get the batteries either
recharged or replaced
or I imagine there's
some maintenance to go on.
25 year battery.
Shit.
Yeah, new new technology, the latest one.
Yeah, and usually a lot
of people do one battery.
And then it's takes up more energy.
So it's a shorter time frame.
The doctor goes, I
recommend you getting to your 60.
You'll probably never have to get a change.
That's wow.
Yeah.
So were you having to help him out at all
once you got out of
school and you were working,
were you having to go back to St.
Pete to like help him when he was in the
deep throes of the suffering?
No, because thankfully my
brother was always there.
Okay, my brother never left St.
Pete.
So my brother was always taking him to his
doctor's appointments,
helping him out, whatever
he needed.
And my dad being the man that he was wasn't
the one the type to ask for help.
So yeah, I was either my brother would help
him out with things or he would just figure
it out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was there anything that you learned from
watching your dad go
through this that you took away
from it?
Like short.
So enjoy it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One day you could be healthy the next year.
Yeah.
I have a disease like Parkinson's that will
completely change your life, whatever.
Yeah.
So enjoy it.
Yeah, it's true.
It's it's something
that it's easy to forget.
Yeah.
Every day truly is a gift
and your health is a gift.
They always say like people for most people
you have a hundred problems, but if you are
suffering from a health issue, you only
have one problem and that's it.
So your health is is the number one thing.
Yep.
So a lot of people have a lot of money and
a lot of resources and they get cancer and
die.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, so very important.
I'm I'm I'm absolutely
thrilled for your family.
I just I can't imagine now when was the
last time you saw your mom?
January last year.
How often do you see her?
I try to go once a
year this year with work.
It's delayed, but I plan to go July 3rd and
then do you stay for a
while when you go back
there?
It's about 1520 days.
Okay, which of course
is not enough for her.
No, no, I come for a month.
I'm like mom.
I have a career and a job.
I can't leave her mom.
Can she not come back here at all?
Not yet.
You want to figure that out for is there
hope that eventually
she will be able to she on
like is there some US law like if you get a
seven years seven year violation?
Okay.
Yeah.
So you got to be coming up on that, right?
We're past it.
So now it's just paperwork, paperwork
reapply got rejected and I
was got to hire a good lawyer
that knows what he's doing.
He's done this before.
Yeah.
And hopefully they'll help her out and it's
tough time right now to write.
It's yeah, it's not the ideal time to try.
I told her last
administration is probably your best shot.
Yeah, it just got dropped
off in Mexico and walked over.
Yeah, yeah, it's true.
But but she probably
doesn't want to live here again.
Does she?
I want to live here.
So just the freedom she
can't even come visit, right?
So it's just the
freedom to be able to visit.
Yeah.
So I mean, hopefully I assume by the time
at least your you have a family.
Hopefully this will all be I'm sure it's
killing her that she can't see her.
Has she seen him?
No, not yet been nine months.
She hasn't seen them yet.
So me and my brother trying to get that
figured out so she can at least come see
come see him here because it's
easier for her to come here than three
people to go over there.
Right, right.
And they probably want the baby a little
older even before they
would take him over there.
So but I'm sure they FaceTime.
Yeah, all that stuff.
All that all that stuff.
So I'm sure she's absolutely both your
parents are over the moon
about being grandparents.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's that's the
next thing on our list.
Hopefully I've been looking
forward to that for 10 years.
Oh, I can't even
imagine like here that Nathan.
Yeah.
Oh, he knows he knows he knows.
Okay, so I have to ask you because you are
out there on the heart of it.
What is it like for your age out there
dating because you have the dating apps.
You have social media
when we were growing up.
It was just old school meet people face to
face and maybe call
them on a landline phone
and maybe make plans for the weekend.
And that was it for you guys.
I feel like there's so
many variables involved.
There is there are I
don't use the dating apps.
So I can't really speak to that much.
I did back like around college right out of
college, but don't
really use them too much.
But it's interesting.
I mean a lot of people's initial contacts
are established over social media.
Like I've met a lot of friends and girls
that I've maybe dated or
taken out on a date or something
like that via social media stumble across a
profile like a good-looking person looks
like they got a decent life.
We have some friends in common.
Let me reach out.
So that's interesting.
I think a lot of people are now relying on
social media and on
the dating apps and won't
just walk up to a girl at and everything I
say is from a man's
perspective because I don't
have the other but walk up to a girl at a
bar and just ask her for her name number.
How you doing?
Let me take you out.
Let me get to know you whatever it may be.
So it's very interesting.
I think it makes things simpler for the
guys that are willing to
go out and talk to girls
and meet them and not nervous
or worried about those things.
But yeah, it's do you get so are you one?
Are those guys that will go
up and just talk to a girl?
It depends.
I feel like when I'm out more more often
than not but like I don't
just randomly see a girl walking
down the street or like right a gym or
something and just walk up.
I should but I don't when
you have approached girls.
Is it up to get a positive response or they
kind of taken aback that
you're using this approach?
Depends on the girl.
Yeah, depends on my approach friends where
you're approaching them.
Yeah, it's a really wide range of answers
there but certain
girls want to meet someone.
So they'll talk to you.
They'll get to know you and they'll either
enjoy the conversation or their walk away.
Right.
Just like anyone else would some girls are
stuck up and don't want
anyone to walk up to them unless
they pick them.
So there's that and some
girls will walk up to you.
It just depends on your luck and what you
do how you walk up what you say.
Are you getting the vibe though that in
general people your age do
still want to get married have a
family have a future or is it still very
much dating hookup culture for your age?
I feel like most of my
guy friends want kids.
A lot of girls I know don't want kids.
That's interesting.
Very interesting.
Interesting.
That is.
But I'd say most of my close friends other
than the couple plan to
get married and have kids.
What about your friends that are girls?
They're the ones who are saying they don't
want kids not like all of them but a lot of
girls that I know don't
want to have kids.
There's a shift.
Yeah.
What is that shift?
What do you think is going on?
I know what's going on.
There's a shift with the
gens and I could be wrong.
I'm curious your thoughts
on it with the Gen Z girls.
There's a shift I think because that well
we've talked about this the Gen
Z girls are not going to take on
the domestic load at home
like the Gen X women did.
They have higher standards and expectations
of their partner and I think they also view
having kids is giving
over a lot of themselves and a lot of their
life and I don't know if
they're willing to do that.
I'm curious that I get your perspective.
Yeah.
Talked a lot about that.
But do you does that resonate?
Yeah, that was going to ask you.
Do you think that they they don't want to
carry the domestic load?
Is that part of the
baggage of it in the sense or?
I would think so.
I think that a lot of them just either have
higher expectations their quotes
on them of what they want to do
with their lives.
I think it's common when a lot of people or
a lot of women that are stay-at-home moms.
You ask them what they do and they say I'm
just a mom which is not something to say.
I'm just about having been raised by a mom
who's a stay-at-home mom.
It's job that doesn't end.
Yeah.
But it's just the the culture now.
You should have your career.
You should be making your own money.
You should be independent girl boss,
whatever you want to call it.
Yeah, and that just doesn't align with
having kids because a lot of
times people think of having kids
and they're like all the
wife's going to stay at home.
The mom's going to stay at home and take
care of them and feel like a lot of people
in our generation view that
as like you settled.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I think that the and I do think there are
women in your generation that
do want to be stay-at-home moms.
I think that they are getting they do get
judged for sure like their viewed as like
tradwives or something
like that.
But I think you're right.
I think it's that the value of a mom
staying home and raising the kids has has
lowered been lowered so much in their
eyes or they naturally think or they
automatically think it would be them.
But maybe if you maybe when you meet
someone you talk about the rules, you never
know there could be a guy
that's like I'll stay
home if you want to work.
Honestly, there are guys.
Yeah, if I got the offer, I would do it.
Yeah.
She's girl bossing like that.
And if the guy was like I'll work from home
and I'll take care of the kid like there's
ways to work this out.
100% there's ways to work this out.
Like it's their detriment if they
automatically think they're
the ones that would stay home.
They're almost being misogynistic about
themselves because there could be guys out
there that would meet them halfway
and say no we could figure this out.
It's not all on you.
Yeah, you have to have that conversation
100% but I do think the value of although
I'm I'm wondering if it's changing
because I do see and again,
this is just on social media.
There are girls out there around your age
that are like, you know what
this girl boss thing isn't quite.
I want to live a soft life.
Yeah, this is like I don't want to be
grinding grinding grinding.
I think this stay at home.
Mom thing actually is a good deal.
I've heard that from a few girls recently.
They're like, I'm tired of working.
I need to get married and have a kid.
Yeah.
I don't blame you.
I think that they maybe are going through
their 20s and thinking that and then some
of them are like, I don't want to do this
is a lot like you not
that I was a stay at home.
Mom, it's you're right.
It's 24 seven.
It never ends.
Yeah, and we and we had a very traditional
mirror and I've talked about this in our an
episode is very traditional marriage where
he worked and I was home and I took care of
everything on the domestic front and I if I
could go back, I would have had that more
of a conversation and divided up the
domestic load more but
that's not our generation.
I think your generation has adjusted and
changed and they've watched their moms
their aunts their grandmas
work themselves to death.
They're like, I don't want that not
realizing doesn't mean just because you
have a family you're going to have that you
guys have evolved talk talk it out like the
men in your generation.
I think would meet your the
women in your lives halfway.
I don't think you guys are going to come in
and say no you cook every night and you do
all the cleaning and I think you guys are
more evolved than that.
We have to be open to that conversation.
Yeah, I agree.
And I think especially with the work from
home age now barriers never been lower.
You can have a career and raise kids.
I don't know how you would do that.
I don't you might have to bring in someone
to help, you know, but you're at least
still there's still a parent, you know,
having someone help you and the parent is
in the house is different
than my buddy's daycare.
Yeah, my buddy's doing that works great.
Yeah, I had I had someone in the house
growing up as well in Morocco.
Yeah, and it's helpful.
I mean, there's a lot of shit to do always.
Oh, always.
But then they're not just left with a
stranger and you're not there.
Yeah, you know, or with a person like
you're still there's
still a parent present.
Yeah.
So there's ways to do this and I think your
generation like you said, we even work from
home has all of the options
to make it work as a couple.
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be these
automatic roles like
your roles can be fluid.
They can change.
So one person may have a better paying job
for five years and then the other person
may get you know, I mean,
so I I just still be curious to see how if
the girls in your generation more of them
open to that possibility because I think a
lot of them are like our thinking I don't
want to just be tied down by taking care of
a family, but I think there's ways to not
you're not going to
necessarily be tied down.
Do you guys think though it's tied down to
a family or tied into a relationship
because you can be the dink.
That's exactly what I
was just about to say.
I was going to say that I feel like a lot
of the people you hear this from guys and
girls just haven't found their person yet.
Yeah, and you do and
then you're like, oh shit.
Well, I didn't think about
getting married, but that's my girl.
That's my guy.
I'm going to stay with them and you get
married and you're like, well, I will have
a kid with that person and
all of that starts to change.
You're right.
Yeah, no, I think you're
right, but I think you're spot on.
Yeah, but I do think it's important to have
that conversation about the
roles before you get married.
I always say that
established have that talk.
Like how do you see this
home running when we have kids?
How do you start it right from the because
a lot of people will wait get married and
then they realize we're on two totally
different pages and then it doesn't work.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I have another question just to get your
opinion from someone your age.
I personally think that when a guy meets
this person, he knows
pretty quickly and within a year.
He knows if he's going to marry her and he
will make his move within a
year or two to lock her down.
Do you think that's true?
I don't know.
I really don't.
I haven't experienced that yet.
So have do you know anyone
who's gone through that yet?
Yeah, I know a couple people that met their
girl or girlfriend and pretty quickly were
like, this is my one.
Sometimes it doesn't work
out, but sometimes it does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, what about as far as even dating like
his situation ships and all that are
rampant in your generation?
I'm assuming you have had girlfriends.
I have so before you've take have you known
pretty quickly the
girls that you have dated?
Have you known pretty quickly?
I'm going to date her.
Yeah.
Okay, right away.
So that would be the equivalent.
Yeah of that.
I would think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, like my ex-girlfriend in college.
I think I wanted to date her.
I don't know if you wanted to date me, but
I kind of like wiggled my
way in there high school.
Same thing.
Girl was on the soccer team.
I was on the soccer team and
not to sound like a weirdo.
I was 15, but like I would
watch after I would practice.
I'd watch them practice.
I was like, oh, I need
that girl right there.
So I've always had like a someone that I
wanted in whether I've gotten them or not
when I did get them that
ended up being a relationship.
Yeah.
So do you think it's fair to say a guy
knows when it's someone either is going to
date or marry a guy knows what he wants?
Yeah, and he'll go for it.
Like here's here's the way I put it a guy
knows whether he wants to have fun with the
girl whether he wants to
take her serious pretty quickly.
Okay, and I always say a girl if you if a
girl feels confused about a guy then he
then he's not sure about
like he shouldn't feel confused.
If a guy wants you and
likes you he makes it clear.
It depends on the age in college.
It's all confusion because in college
you're fighting the battle of I want this
person, but I'm really young
and this is my college experience.
So it's constantly pushing and pulling of
that a lot of people meet someone in
college that may have worked out for them,
but they're just not mature enough yet.
But at an older age post graduation like 25
plus I think it should be pretty.
It should be pretty clear clear.
Yeah, so if that's my opinion if a guy is
breadcrumbing you or dangling the carrot
and carrying a situation ship situation
ship then should the girl kind of assume
he's not going to date you?
Yeah, I don't think so.
Right.
Yeah, that's what I think.
That's what I wanted.
No, no, no.
Yeah, it's the dragging on
and well, I kind of like you.
I like you, but that's you see they're
looking for company sex or just something
in between there in that scenario.
Do you think the guy has a couple of those
going on would that be
more of a typical thing?
A lot a lot of times yes, but I don't think
it's exclusive to guys.
I think a lot of girls have a lot of things
on the side going on as well.
But a person that does that consistently
usually has a couple of people,
especially my generation.
It's called a roster.
But usually there's a
there's a couple of people.
Now, when you when you say girls do it, do
they also breadcrumb?
And meaning, you know, I'll give you a
little bit here, a little bit here,
just to keep you in. Yeah.
Well, it's different because with guys, as
if a girl is giving you sex,
that's pretty much all right.
Do you care about to
stay in the picture? Right.
So with I feel like with girls, it's a
breadcrumb, breadcrumb of sex.
And with guys, it's a breadcrumb of
attention and emotions.
Yeah. Right. And that's
that's the difference.
So some girls just want to
have someone that they can call
whenever they want to and get laid.
But don't you think like I know people say
like girls do situationships, too.
But don't you think it's
rare that a girl is doing that
and the guy is wanting to lock
her down and she's like, no, no,
I just want to have sex.
Is it isn't it more guys?
Because I just don't it seems like if the
guy is getting sex, like you said,
and that's pretty much what he wants, then
when did there be few
like a few number of guys that would be
like, no, but I also want a relationship.
And she's like, no, I
just want to have sex.
I think a girl is quicker to
cut it off if a guy gets feelings.
So she doesn't have to deal with that.
OK, versus a guy, a lot
of guys, not all guys.
They'll drag it on as long as they need to.
They'll play the mind.
They'll play the mind game.
She doesn't want to deal with that.
Certain guys are definitely like that.
Certain girls are like that as well.
But I feel like girls don't get too messy
when it comes to that.
They're just like, this
guy wants me way too much.
I'm just getting out of it
versus a guy sometimes is like.
I got this girl.
She wants me like I got this in the bag.
I can do whatever I want in this situation.
And and he will as long as she allows it.
And that's why I say I think it's on the
girls to they're in control
of the situation, and
how far it goes in general.
I know there's girls
that play the game, too.
But in general, at least
when it's going off a guy,
I think the girl is the one
that can either stop it or not.
And if she's giving it
up, she's not stopping.
Yeah. Well, sometimes you don't know.
Sometimes you see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
But it's just someone's flashlight.
It's not an actual.
So that's why I say by three months,
they need to have a
conversation and be like, what is this?
And if he can't answer,
then they need to walk away.
Three months is probably a
good amount of time for that.
Yeah, I would say so.
If it's like consistent for three months.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think two
months, but I don't know about
with your generation, two
months may sound too fast
and two months may feel too
soon to truly know someone.
It depends on the three months.
I feel like.
It could be three
months where you saw someone
once a month or every other weekend.
That's very different than three months
where you're meeting with someone.
Sometimes it's a month and a half where
you're seeing someone
multiple times a week all the time.
True. Then it's like,
what are we doing here?
Versus like they could it
could be a three months where
I see a girl two weeks in a row and I don't
see her for like a month.
And I see her again a
couple of times in a row.
So like that emotion comes up and then it
fades and then it comes up again.
And it's like you're not
thinking about them too much.
But if it's all back to back to back,
you're always hanging out with them.
You're always with them. It's like, all
right, what are we doing here?
That speeds up the timeline.
And then I feel like that's
more the girls probably saying,
what are we doing here
more than the guy? Right.
More. Yeah, guys
definitely say that as well.
But I think girls would
probably say that more.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you
think that that's affected
dating for you guys,
this whole situation ship?
Or do you think it actually is a pro and
allows you to get to know
different people and have all these
different experiences
with different people?
I think it depends how you take it.
I think it definitely lets you allows you
to know a lot of different people
and know what you like in a in
a person, what you don't like.
I think it's always also given birth to
this red flag generation.
In this era where it's like and I saw
something on the podcast the other day
from Andrew Schultz, where
he was like, this red flag
shit is just people that are lonely trying
to be with someone they
don't want to be with.
And they're like, oh,
that's the red flag I don't like.
It's like if you really liked someone,
there's a bunch of red flags,
but you just fucking figure it
out and deal with them. Yeah.
True. I mean, barring abuse.
Of course. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's not a red flag.
That's yeah. Yeah. That's a run. Yeah.
That's a run. Find help.
Yeah. But you're saying yes. Yeah. Because
for sure in our generation,
we all look past the red
flags and just went for it.
And then we either worked it out or we
might have gotten divorced 10 years later.
But yeah, your generation is
way aware of red flags. Yeah.
Like I. Yeah. I knew this girl that showed
me a shared notes document
that she had with her girlfriends and it
was 300 points long of red flags.
Yeah. And it was shit like when you come
home and he's on the couch,
cuddled up in a blanket. Well, that's like
X. Yeah. X. Yeah. Yeah.
Like red flags and X. Yeah. It's like,
yeah. What are we doing here?
No. And it's the question of are the X
going to stop you from dating this guy?
Because it's really
analysis paralysis. Yeah.
Like you start picking apart something so
much that you're not going to move
forward with anything because someone,
everyone's going to have something.
Yeah. Well, you know, it's it's it.
I think it's indicative of just our
generation of having a ton of options
for everything, whether
it's food on Uber Eats,
whether it's places to travel because you
can go anywhere you want to.
People to date because of social media, you
have a thousand followers
and that's not that many nowadays. Yeah.
So you're seeing all these people and
you're like, well, I could have that.
Like, no, you're not
going to have that. Right.
You're going to have the
same or similar type of people
that you've been with
your whole life for a reason.
So it's just too many options all around.
I think you're right. And I think it's it's
so much that no one can make a decision.
Yeah. And like a lot because
there's always that thought.
But there could be
something else better. I'm settling.
Yeah, you're suddenly
you think you're settling.
Yeah. Like that, because there could be
that next thing, that next thing.
And then eventually you may if you live
your life like that, you're like 50
and you never made a
decision or or did anything.
You just are constantly
and there's people like that.
There's people that are 40, 45, 50 that
haven't done anything.
And they're from an older generation.
So I can't even imagine for you guys the
detriment that that can have.
Yeah. Sometimes you
just got to take a risk.
Like you got to go for it.
Yeah, you got to go for it.
It might be some things you don't like and
you can work them out.
But if you're not willing to take that
risk, you just end up surface level.
You got to try. Yeah, you got to try.
I think we talked about that
one of our earliest episodes
is if you think you've met
someone, you've got to just do it.
Have the full authentic experience.
And like you're saying, if it falls apart,
you at least had an experience, but
constantly dipping your toe in the water
and never jumping in, you're not living.
You got to go for it sometime or else
you're really only getting like 20 percent
of what this whole experience could be.
Yeah. And every experience
gives you something to learn.
You learn something like you had said
earlier with your job, your first job.
You learned what you don't want.
Same with dating. Same with dating.
And every I always say
every person you date
is a stepping stone
leading you to your person.
So but if you never take those steps,
you're not going to get there.
You know, and I know there's going to be
women are like, well, I don't want to get
my but most people do want to partner.
You know, I even with the girl boss and all
that, I think most people invariably
want that person that's their person, that
is their best friend.
They can talk to about anything.
You know, life's not easy.
So it's much easier to do
it with your best friend.
But you got to be open to that.
So I think it's what's natural.
Yeah. A man and a woman find each other,
get married, have kids.
You start a family.
Yeah. Like that's natural.
And people can try to
fight that in whatever ways.
There's plenty of ways that that they do.
But the end of the day, that's what's been
going on for all of humanity.
And that's what's natural.
Well, it can give your
life a lot of meaning to.
Yeah. And purpose and
direction and all those things.
I think honestly, his perspective is the
most completely we've had so far.
Yeah, because we've focused so much on guys
are doing a situation ship to girls.
But you brought up a really good point.
They're doing it as well.
So the whole situation is really tough for
everybody involved, I think, in that.
And everything you
guys just said is spot on.
But this is a two way street and it's not
just guys trying to get
into situation ships with girls.
I think it's interesting that you brought
up and I think this is true.
The girls that are doing
it, they just cut out faster.
But the boys are willing to string it along
further because it's about sex.
And it might be about
sex for the girl, too.
But that's all it is.
Wants no feels, emotions or anything.
She's willing to dip sooner.
Yeah, I think this was
because she gets the ache.
Yeah. Yeah. Especially in South Florida.
There's a lot of people down here.
There's a lot of
options. There's a lot of money.
There's a lot of people that can give you
really cool experiences.
So especially with girls, like guys will
spend a fuck ton of money on you.
Guys will take you out, they'll buy you
shit, they'll help you travel, etc.
So a lot of girls just have so many options
that they're like, well,
I got this rich guy that's
like kind of weird, but like,
they'll take me out on his yacht whenever I
want to go out on it.
So I'll keep him around.
And that's that's the competition, right?
These guys that are willing to rent a
Ferrari or Lambo for the weekend
and give the perception of
they've got all this money.
Yeah. But maybe they own it
or they own it. Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's not just a detriment to
though, to the young men,
but to the young women, too, because those
young women are going to be
constantly enamored with the new shiny toy
and the new guy with the new shiny toy.
And eventually you have.
And I say this and I
know people get triggered.
You've given away your baby years.
With all those experiences,
but not with an authentic one.
So as much as it creates
unfair competition for
normal down to earth guys
that aren't renting Lambo's or own Lambo's
or whatever, but the girls,
it's almost like a dopamine hit, right?
Yeah. You know, the
new thing, the new thing.
And then eventually, you
know, you might have wasted
10 to 15 years with those experiences as
fun and as cool as they were.
It can be addicting probably.
And you don't realize how long you've been
doing it until all of a sudden
you wake up one day and
you're like, oh, God, I want to.
You know, I'd like to have a relationship.
I'd like to get married, like to have kids.
So I think for girls, that's a cautionary
tale of go have go have fun.
Enjoy yourself.
But have a goal.
Like be aware of timing and
maybe set a goal like, OK,
I'm going to do this for two years and then
I'm going to make an adjustment.
You know, I don't think that's
unrealistic for your generation.
I don't know, though.
There may be some young girls that are
would be bothered by me saying that,
that I'm not meaning to
press them or anything.
I just it's almost like
respect their goals and really
define them and not get caught up in
because it can be a
fast life doing all that.
Yeah. And before you know it, three years
have gone by, you know,
and for you guys to, you know, and getting
caught up in that next thing,
next thing and all that. So and social
media doesn't help with that.
Yeah. Because everyone looks so happy.
Yeah. Social media and everyone's vacation
is the greatest vacation of all time.
Yeah. And everyone's living a cooler, more
fun life than you are on social media.
But like you get to know some of these
people and it's like, that's tough.
What you're doing, you're just putting up a
facade on social media.
And there's plenty of
people that aren't like that.
And there's plenty of
examples that aren't like that.
But there's also plenty that are.
Yeah. No, the FOMO is real.
And it's I think with maturity comes a
realization that it's not real,
that what they're doing is
not real. It's an illusion.
Signaling. Yes, exactly. Exactly.
So do you do you believe in or do you
I guess this chivalry
a part of your dating?
Like, do you open the door, open the car
door, do you do all those things?
Yeah, absolutely. Do you what about pain?
Guy pays for everything
right off the bat early on. Yes.
Now, do you once you start dating, I think
that can shift a little bit
when you're like in an
established relationship.
I think it's you see it
often. It's pretty normal.
My relationships have been like that, where
when you start dating a girl,
what even if it's something like you're
going out to Chipotle and she's like,
yeah, you paid for our date
yesterday. I'll buy this meal.
Yeah, I think that's pretty common.
But early on, I don't think you're going to
take out a girl and expect her to pay.
And I don't think it
makes sense for you to.
Now, do you subscribe to the new coffee
date thing people are doing
where the first day it's a coffee date, not
a commitment to a dinner?
I get it for sure.
I haven't been on a coffee date before,
but I completely understand
that. Yeah, I have a question.
I always thought it's not a bad move.
It's like where you go to a
coffee shop instead of dinner.
So do you want to meet
at two o'clock or one day?
Shorter time. Yeah.
Quicker, quicker in and out. Exactly.
Yeah, almost like a little
form of speed dating in a way.
Yeah. Is that a kind of like
that wouldn't be like if you're
it could be I guess that it
fits in all types of scenarios.
But is that more of a tinder
thing or something like that?
No, first first date, just the first day.
Well, I mean, if you meet on a dating app,
but you can even do it on in a DM
asking someone out or like or face to face,
like I'll get in touch with you.
A nice breaker.
Yeah, I think it's for both.
Like you're not committing fully to dinner.
So if like one of you doesn't like the
other, you can get out of there
in like an hour as
opposed to a full dinner.
And also if the guy's pain, it's less of a
financial obligation.
Yeah. And then the
second date, usually dinner.
So you semi time box the
event into an hour or two coffee
with the mutual understanding
it's ending in an hour or two.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What I think it is is that a lot of times,
either whether a lot of
times it's drinks, not dinner.
And even if it is dinner, a lot of time
there's alcohol involved
and people get loose, have fun on alcohol
and you might make a bad decision.
Right. Coffee date, you're drinking coffee,
you're there, you're aware.
Nothing's getting past you.
So you can actually get a feel for someone.
I think that's what the difference is.
Instead of going out and getting a little
drunk and good music,
we're having a good time.
Yeah, it sounds like a very
healthy, sober, real experience.
No, I think I think it's great.
And as far as timing, if it's going well,
it could go four hours
if you wanted to. I don't think.
But if it's not, you can get out of there.
But I have seen and I do know of people
this has happened to in real life,
not just on social media, where there's
guys that are wanting
to split the coffee date bill.
So the bill's like fifteen dollars.
You probably shouldn't be
taking a girl on a date.
I know. Right.
Don't you think now that's a red flag?
Yeah, I would think that's a red flag.
You can't pick up this fifteen dollar tab.
Then I however much it is,
it's you ask the girl on a date.
Yes. You're the man.
And this probably is going to get people
online saying, well, it's not true.
It doesn't matter if
you're a man or woman. It does.
You're the man you're paying.
Well, if you're asking, you've asked her.
So your host, what if you're asking her?
What if she asks, I'm with you for the
record, 100 percent men should pay
until they should just pay.
It's just the way it is agreed.
But what if they do ask is does that flip
it like for the first date?
Yeah. No, no.
I mean, no, I think a guy should.
Well, for him and I, it doesn't.
I'm with you. I agree, too.
But does it like I mean, if I asked the guy
on a day, we're going back.
If I asked the guy on a date.
I might offer to split it.
If I asked the guy on a date, if I plan it
and I was like, let's go, I might
offered I might take care
of my ticket or whatever.
But I wouldn't pay for
his. That would feel weird.
Yeah. But then I would
want him to know I get it.
You and I are from a different generation.
And Henry like, no, no, no, I got it.
But yeah, I think if I plan, if I asked the
date, then I would, you know,
but I don't know what year it's the thing
now with like my friend group
and my generation, and it's
like you take a girl out on a date
and the check comes and she kind of reaches
for it or like offers split it.
There's a sense of appreciation there, but
she's not going to pay for it.
Right. I'm not personally, I'm
not going to let her pay for it.
But like a girl that the
check comes and she's like,
do you want to split it or I'll get it or
just grabs it or something like that?
I can definitely have a
sense of appreciation there.
But at the end of the day,
I'm not going to let them pay.
So that's a green flag for a guy because
now you know you're not just getting used
per se or she's just good. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, what is she doesn't do that, though?
She sits there. Is that bad?
No, not for me. OK. OK. Not for me.
I don't expect anything
when it comes to that. Yeah.
I'm paying. That's how I was raised.
My dad was like that, whether it was
with my mom or my mom's family or my mom's
friends or anything like that.
My dad's pain. Mm hmm. Right.
Just women. Yeah. Yeah.
Or even if my we went out with
my dad, my mom and her brother.
My dad's going to pay. OK. Yeah. He's just
like that. Yeah. Yeah.
And that's where I get it from. Yeah.
Now, what about do you find that a lot?
I just can't imagine this in your circle.
But there are a lot of men out there that
are have that feeling.
If they pay for a dinner, let's say that
she should be coming back to his place.
And when they don't when the
girl doesn't, they feel used.
They feel they were
used for a dinner. Yeah.
Is that something you've
heard about it? Yes, for sure.
And does that make any sense to you?
It depends. Like we're
talking a second date, maybe.
Yeah, I mean, it just depends.
I mean, you can't expect anything.
You can't go in
expecting sex like I get it.
I don't think it's necessarily that you
feel like you're used.
I think that's what you tell yourself to
make yourself feel better.
Like if a girl wanted to go home and have
sex with your fucking,
she's going to do that. Right. OK.
But sometimes you'll take a
girl out, you think it went well.
She doesn't think it went well.
And you're like, well, she
didn't come home with me.
She used me. It's like, no.
The defense mechanism. Exactly.
There's a coping mechanism.
You need rejection.
So but what about if a
girl does like the guy,
but she's just not she
has a thing for herself.
I don't have sex until I'm at
this certain point with the guy.
So it's not rejection of him.
Like, do guys automatically
view not having sex as rejection,
where maybe it's just her
timeline, but she still likes the guy.
Do they ever think of that?
A lot of guys will
respect them like a girl more
if they don't go home with
them right away and they hate it.
But deep down, that's the feeling.
So it's a weird thing.
They're upset that she didn't
go home with them and say, well,
she was maybe using me, but they also
respect her for not going home with them.
Yeah, I don't know if it's
respect, but it creates like.
I need to take her out again.
I need to get to know her
better. I need to do this.
I need to do that. So that happens often.
And it just sticks in your head, right?
Like I took this girl out.
We had a great time. Like, why?
Why didn't she want to go home with me?
Why didn't you want to kiss me?
Why didn't you want to have sex with me?
Whatever it is.
But it definitely creates
like a another spark in there
where you're like, all right,
this is like it's interesting.
This is a challenge.
That's a good way to challenge.
Is the level of respect
there, too, I think the guy has.
Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
And I think that easy.
I think it's on the inverse side.
It's more more so evident
where if you take a girl out and you like
her a lot first night,
she goes home with you.
A lot of guys, not all guys,
but a lot of guys are like,
that was too easy. Yeah.
I'm not if she does it
with me, she'll do it.
I'm nothing special to
do with everybody else.
So for girls, that's an interesting thing,
because if they're not going to just if
they have that for themselves,
I don't just sleep with a guy.
There needs to be a timeline here.
But also the guy's pain.
It's it's a weird thing where
how how long can we go where?
Where he doesn't feel used and stop because
he thinks she's just for meals,
you know, where she can continue to respect
herself till she's reached that point.
I guess the texting and the talking would
be building in between there
so he would realize he's not being used.
She doesn't like him.
She's just not taking that step physically.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it's all communication. Yeah. Yeah.
You can leave a first date.
They don't go home with you or you don't
get what you were hoping for.
But, you know, you're like,
yeah, that was a great first day.
We're definitely going out again.
I like her. She likes me.
I respect her. She respects me.
So it's all a communication thing.
Like a girl can just tell you, listen.
Up front, I'm not going
to fuck you tonight. Right.
It's not going to happen. Yeah.
And does that ruin the night for a guy?
You think about it for sure.
I was going to ask if
there is room for that
transparency to have that conversation to
be like, look, I don't
I don't have sex for the first 30 days.
Yeah. If you're cool with that, we're cool.
If not, I'm cool with like, is that awkward
or can a girl say that?
It depends on the guy.
Yeah, it's just some
guys just can't take it.
Some guys will do that
as a challenge. Yeah.
And I think what makes that different or
awkward is that a lot of girls
will tell you that up front, they'll go
home with you that night. Oh.
So then you're like, yeah. Yeah.
So it just depends.
There's nuance to everything.
You're right. You're right.
But yeah. Yeah.
I don't think it's a it's a
deal breaker for a lot of guys.
I think like you come home from a date.
It wasn't great. The girl
didn't go home with you.
You're coming home to your friends and
you're like, fuck, man.
Yeah. Why didn't she go home with me?
I need to like figure it out. Yeah.
I really like her for these reasons.
It makes you think about shit more. Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like if you're taking out a
girl first date and you're
getting what you want, you're having sex,
oftentimes you go home and you're like
mission accomplished. Right.
You know what I mean? Right. Yeah.
It leaves less room for
you to think about shit.
It's almost like if she waits, then it
actually forces men to think further
and raise the level here of their thought
process with the whole thing.
Yeah. Where if you feed that
initial need, it's been satisfied
and they're not going to
put much more thought into it.
You're bored. Yeah.
This is why I say I do think girls have a
lot of control over how these things go.
Just by withholding. I
do not to do it that way.
I do think it's a respect
thing that I'm old school.
But I think let there be room for growth in
other areas because obviously
that area is going to be fine.
But let other things kind of grow out of
this too before you finally take that
step. Yeah. I guess.
Were you going to say I
forget what I was going to say.
It's all good. Do you have anything else
you want to ask before
I ask my last question?
Sure. Just to go back to the Miami days,
we're in Miami and skipped
over to St. Pete, but in Miami,
it's such a cultural melting pot.
You mentioned the Hispanic influence, but
there's it's one of my favorite things
about South Florida is
the multiculturalism.
Me too. If you compare it to Morocco.
Does Morocco have that same multicultural
vibe and energy of of like,
I think of Casablanca as this exotic spot
in some ways, in American opinion or
perspective, are they
similar in that sense?
Very much so. Yeah.
I mean, it's I guess it's the same here.
The dominant presence is Moroccans, right?
But you have everything you have other
Arabic people there from like Lebanon,
Egypt, Algeria, Tunisia.
You have foreigners from Europe, from the
U.S., from anywhere in the world.
And it's a huge city and
it's a big melting pot.
So very much so. And I always say Miami
reminds me of Casablanca a lot.
Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of a vibrant.
Does it have that same vibrant,
flashing nightlife that
Miami does in some ways or?
Not as much as Miami, but
I guess Miami is unique.
And Miami's. Yeah. Yeah.
Like I always say this, like people are
like, I went to the best club in Miami.
I'm like, so you went to the best club in
the world pretty much.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
But it definitely does have that nightlife,
that outgoing people,
ability to meet a lot of people. Yeah.
But I don't think most places you can
compare to Miami. Yeah.
One other question. I don't
know if we closed on this,
but are there any good
Moroccan restaurants here?
He means up by us.
Up by us.
Is there anything in Fort Lauderdale or?
We've got the one in Miami.
The one in Miami.
Anything Boynton, West Palm, Boca.
West Palm for sure has one.
I don't know of one, but I
would think they have one.
Off the top of my
head, I can't think of any.
Yeah. We can definitely look it up.
The one in Miami.
We'll have to go check it
out, make a trip down there.
I highly recommend it. It's really great.
Yeah. Let's do that.
Any other questions?
OK, so my last question is always where do
you see yourself in five years?
I envision myself location wise in St.
Pete, St. Petersburg, around the family.
But can you elaborate on that?
What do you what do you mean?
Just in general, from what sense like
career wise, personal wise,
if you had to fast forward five years, how
old will you be in five years?
21.
31.
31. So you'd be in your early 30s.
So in any area or all areas, where do you
what's your daily life?
Anything career wise, I hope to still be
with the same company I'm at.
Five years, I hope to be in the same role,
but a higher tier of it.
So I think I want to stay in sales for more
than five more years.
That's for sure.
Personally.
Settle down with the woman.
Whether that's married or whether that's
dating, just have someone.
That's my goal, my plan.
And then from a family standpoint, just
taking care of everyone.
Yeah. Living near your
dad and brother over there.
Yeah, I think that's great.
My nephew will be six.
Wow. Being scouted by
professional soccer teams.
But no, I'm kidding.
But yeah, just being around the family,
getting closer with the family.
As I've gotten older, you realize how much
more that's important.
And yeah, taking care of my people.
Yeah. Having a good amount of
money saved up, having a house.
Yes, for great goals.
Those are wonderful goals.
And that would, you know, that would be an
amazing way to start your 30s.
So because every I think every decade has
its meanings, its lessons
and its goals and accomplishments.
And it's always good as you get closer to
the next one to kind of think, OK,
what do I want to get out of this decade?
Because before you know it,
you're on to the next decade.
And I always think that's a nice way to
really live an authentic life,
is to live an intentionally and not just
kind of let it happen.
I agree. So I think those are great goals.
And we're so, so happy that you joined us
today and you shared your story.
And you opened the window a little bit into
Morocco for our listeners,
because I don't think most
people haven't been there.
And it's kind of a very
mysterious place for at least,
I think, a lot of people, you know, I can
say for us, you know, what?
I've learned so much from
knowing you. I've learned a lot.
But even today, I learned some more.
So just to give us that glimpse and then
the miracle with your
father. Yeah, that's awesome.
I mean, that's just absolutely amazing.
And I know that there will be listeners
that that could be life changing
for them to have
learned that today from you.
So just sharing that alone. Yeah.
So absolutely.
My thing is, if you want
to go to Morocco, go there.
It's safe. They treat tourists very well.
You can do whatever you want there, whether
it's just being a tourist,
trying to blend into the culture, whether
you want to go party there,
whether you want to go on excursions.
There's options for everything
and it's affordable and safe.
I highly, highly recommend it.
From the my dad's standpoint, medical
standpoint, it is life changing.
And I really do hope one
person learns about that
because my dad's had the disease forever
and it took him a very long time
to learn about it. Yeah.
It's still bleeding edge.
It's still very new.
But I can tell you from personal
experience, it works.
And it's given my dad his life back.
So if you know anyone that's
been affected by Parkinson's
or if you're affected by Parkinson's,
definitely look at that very seriously.
Yeah. An invasive surgery.
But you can find a good doctor that'll
that'll be able to pull it off.
Yeah. And yeah, to wrap it up, I've been
looking forward to this
for a very long time. I
appreciate you guys having me.
I think we've all had a lot of
conversations throughout our years
of friendship, my friendship with Nate.
So it's great to be on here.
Yeah, no. And it's been really awesome to
hear about your journey and the challenges
that you encountered.
You know, I didn't realize the different
things that you'd gone through.
And then just to see how
that led you up to Tallahassee
and aided you when you were
presented with that challenge.
I'm so impressed with, you know, most kids
know before they start college
if they're going to have to
put themselves through college.
So the fact that you learn
that while you're already there
and then pulled it off, it's so impressive.
I appreciate it. Really. It really is.
It's so impressive.
So I actually have a question. Yeah.
And it just made me think about it,
because now just talking to you and
learning more about your background
makes me better understand
why you're such a hustler.
And it had been that way.
What advice would you give to someone your
age that's either coming out of college
or trying to figure their their
professional life out?
Do you have any advice you would give to
that that makes sense or would resonate?
No one's going to save you.
You got to figure out your own shit.
You may you're going to have support.
I hope you have support
from your family and friends.
But at the end of the day, it's your life
and you need to figure it out.
Don't be scared to take risks.
They pay off. And worst thing that could
happen is you learn
something about yourself
and about what you were trying to do.
So take risks and don't be scared to
experiment with shit,
whether it's your career, whether it's
friends, whether it's you personally,
you'll figure out a lot of stuff about you
throughout the way. And.
Just work hard and stuff will fall in line.
I think if you have good discipline, you
have a good routine, you work hard.
Things will work out for
you, especially in this country.
So just pursue that.
It's great advice.
And I think your 20s are a great decade to
do all those things you
talked about for sure,
to start all that off.
So that's great advice.
I think on that note,
we'll close. We'll close.
But again, thank you, Ali, for sharing your
story, for coming here today.
And we look forward to having you back in
the future and seeing where you're at.
And for our listeners, please leave any
comments or questions.
And if you have any questions about the
surgery that Ali's dad had,
we'll definitely make sure that we get that
information to Ali so
we can get a good answer.
He can answer you directly.
And if you have any
questions about Morocco, same thing.
Ali will see this stuff on social media or
we will get the answers for you.
So please feel free to leave those and we
will see you next time.
Bye.