# Episode 41 - Boomer Series: JD

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2025-07-25T23:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/17564841-episode-41-boomer-series-jd.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-41
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode41.html
- People: Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host), JD (guest)
- Topics: Boomer Series

## Summary

In Episode 41 of the GenX Adulting podcast, JD shares his experiences growing up as a baby boomer, discussing his family's history, his father's career, and the impact of moving frequently during his childhood. The conversation also touches on JD's college years, his career in sales, and the evolution of technology and its influence on his professional life.

## Key takeaways

- JD was born in 1961, making him a baby boomer.
- He moved around a lot during his childhood, living in ten different states.
- JD's father served in the Korean War and later worked in human resources.
- He attended James Madison University and played club lacrosse.
- JD's career in sales began shortly after college, leading to a position at Cisco Systems.
- He emphasizes the importance of building relationships with clients in sales.
- JD believes that self-awareness and communication are key to a successful career and personal life.

## FAQ

### What year was JD born?

JD was born in 1961, making him part of the baby boomer generation.

### What influenced JD's upbringing?

JD's upbringing was influenced by his father's military service and the family's frequent relocations across various states.

### What did JD study in college?

JD studied marketing with a minor in economics at James Madison University.

### What is JD's approach to sales?

JD believes in building strong relationships with clients and understanding their needs to provide effective solutions.

### How did technology impact JD's career?

JD's career evolved alongside technology, particularly during his time at Cisco Systems, where he witnessed the growth of the internet and its impact on business.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV02jUdZSfY)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-41-boomer-series-jd/id1764838823?i=1000719049172)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0iGW7064n2l7aRAoAfxgS1)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/17564841-episode-41-boomer-series-jd)

## Transcript

[Music]
Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we're
welcoming JD into the studio. Welcome JD.
Well thank you for having
me. It's great to be here.
We're so happy to have you here.
Ah joy.
Our first question is
always what year were you born?
1961.
Okay so you are a boomer.
Tail end of the baby boomers.
You are. You're at the
tail end of the baby boomers.
Correct.
Okay where were you born?
Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Oh okay cool.
Yeah midwestern by birth but moved around
a lot so there's a lot behind that.
So are your parents from Fort Wayne?
My mother's family was there when she met
my father and he was a Michigan guy.
Okay so what brought
your father to Fort Wayne?
He um you know a little bit behind it. He
was the first one to go to college
in his family on the GI Bill. He was in
the Korean War, a Navy guy,
and started going to college
in Michigan State and part of what was
going down with that he
was getting a degree in human
resources personnel. So he started in
some plants and I believe
there was some interaction between
Indiana and Michigan where they met in a
malt shop and those like
happy days type of thing.
No way.
Yeah true stuff.
Wow.
True stuff. So Michigan by birth him for
a long time. My mom had I
think Oklahoma, Indiana.
Okay.
But yeah they met there.
Do you know what year?
58.
Okay so.
57.
So a real 1950s malt shop meeting.
She had the little dog on the skirt.
The poodle skirt.
The poodle skirt and they you know for
them it was ideal. It was
truly like that happy days.
Like Greece.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so cool. Okay so they met and do
you know how long it was
between the time they met
and they got married?
It wasn't. It wasn't long within a year.
All right and did they stay they stayed
in Fort Wayne obviously because that's
where you were born.
Yeah they bopped around a year or two.
Okay.
A year or two.
Are you the oldest?
I'm the middle child of five.
Oh wow.
I'm the middle child.
How many boys? How many girls?
Two boys.
Excuse me. Three boys, two girls.
And are the oldest.
How does the order go?
My sister Lori is a couple years older
than me and I'm 63. My
brother's one year older than me.
And then me and then my younger sister
who's probably two years younger than me.
So probably 61, 60 and then
my youngest brother is 59.
Okay so I think your
youngest brother is a Gen X.
It might be.
I think he's the last.
What year was he born?
He was born in 66.
Yep he's a Gen X.
Yeah.
Okay and the rest of
you guys are boomers.
Yep.
Okay so you were in Fort Wayne for like a
couple years after like as a baby.
Right. A year or two.
Dad again, implant, moving up the chain.
So we moved up. We moved a bunch.
Okay now when he was in the Korean War,
do you know how long
he served over there?
You know I don't know all the details.
It wasn't really, he didn't
really talk a lot about it.
But you know you see the pictures and
thank God he was off the coast of Korea.
Okay.
He didn't actually see active battle but
they were part of the support function.
And you know you see
the ships and the history.
It was pretty cool.
But surprisingly he was soft spoken.
Especially when a bunch of the kids are a
little more out there.
Yeah.
But great dad, great dad.
But his whole thing was I
just want to make a better life.
Comes from good family.
But that going to school super important.
That's amazing.
That must have meant
so much to his family.
Do you know what motivated
him to want to go to college?
Since his family hadn't gone.
That's a really good question.
I can't say he ever told me that.
He just had that drive.
Good man.
One of those ones they were raised.
Pretty devout Catholics.
But you know they loved all people.
And as long as people were
good, it worked out so well.
But that's the path they went down.
And he just always wanted to do better.
To be a better person.
You know better community.
That kind of thing.
So that was him.
He was just a good guy.
Just a really good guy.
That's cool.
What did he do for a living?
Human resources.
And again he started in the plants.
Worked into like
manufacturing facilities.
Whatever they, whatever
those kind of, where they made.
Whether it's sometimes I think it was
petroleum type of things.
Or petroleum products.
And then he moved up
into the executive offices.
Into New York.
Over time.
This was you know when
everything was made in America.
Yeah.
True.
Yeah it's very different now.
But this was back when you
could get a job in America.
At a manufacturing plant.
And build a career off of that.
Where those opportunities.
You know like the
younger generations couldn't.
That's not as available
to them I guess right.
I'd agree.
He did a lot of union negotiations.
So it's interesting that you say that.
So now that you're
saying it's flagging me.
I can remember how
somebody was pretty tense.
But you know very important.
You know.
Oh absolutely.
Yeah yeah.
So did his job.
Was your mom a stay at home mom?
Yes.
Okay and with that many kids definitely.
Now did his job.
Did he travel or did you
guys move because of his job?
Yeah we moved.
I think I lived in a total.
Probably 10 states.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
What states?
So lived in Indiana.
Baton Rouge.
Louisiana.
Wilmington Delaware.
Randolph New Jersey.
Baltimore Maryland.
Went to college in Virginia.
James Madison and Harrisonburg Virginia.
Moved to New York.
My college buddy.
And then from New York to Florida.
Okay.
Yeah so that's been that.
So with my parents you
know once I went to college.
That's when we dispersed.
But yeah.
Yeah.
So we had a lot of moves.
You did.
You did have a lot of moves.
So your elementary years where were they?
A couple different places.
It was Delaware and then New Jersey.
And then what about middle school?
New Jersey.
In Randolph.
Yeah.
It was one.
Randolph's close to where I grew up.
I know.
Yeah.
I know.
I heard your guy went.
Yeah.
I loved it.
It was ideal.
Quite frankly you go back there now and I
can't believe it because
it's been built up so much.
Yeah.
But it was you know he was going into New
York City working for WR
Grace at the time and they
had that beautiful
building with the bend.
And really proud of that.
Or into Parsippany where they had a lot
of executive offices too for the various.
I think at the time it was a chemical
company that he was working for.
Yep.
Might have been Dow actually.
Actually I had a friend of mine move from
out of state from Michigan to New Jersey
because his dad worked
at Dow in Parsippany.
It was allied chemical.
Okay.
I don't know if that really.
Yeah.
They were at the time for sure.
Yeah.
So his commute he would
commute into the city every morning?
No.
I think that he did a fair amount but at
the same time they had a
facility in Parsippany.
Okay.
And that's not too bad.
Not too bad at all.
No.
People don't realize that
part of Jersey is beautiful.
They picture the Sopranos when you say
New Jersey but there's a
whole part of Jersey that's
small town.
We lived on a lake you guys.
You know like you were
talking about your kids.
They're able to go out.
This was fantastic.
Yeah.
So what I'm sorry.
I was going to say he was real proud of
that because each time
we moved it was a step up
for you know your housing which was
always you know a blessing.
And then you know I know my mom enjoyed
that but you know five
kids in seven years it was
it was really tough
when we talk about her.
She was great great mom
but I mean that's tough.
It is.
That was really tough.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
So when you were in elementary school and
middle school did you do any sports?
Yeah.
Oh you know typical football
and baseball and basketball.
I was idyllic quite honestly.
I can just remember having two a younger
brother who we always play
with my older brother and
friends in the neighborhood.
It seemed to be you know don't want to
overplay that but it was just wonderful.
Now did they have travel
sports when you were growing up?
That I don't believe so.
Okay so it was still it was still like
like just everyone
neighborhood and school friends
played on the baseball team then same
friends played on football
and basketball that kind of
would go to different schools you'd have
different schools
you're competing against.
But what's interesting is I think they
were real smart about where they ended up
purchasing the homes like near this lake
and by the way it was
called Shungum Lake if you know
Randolph beautiful lake and then when we
lived oh other areas
they'd get it near a school.
So you know you just go to the school and
you you know they'd have
camps in the summer or a
tennis camp or all sorts of things.
So I think my parents were they thought
that through because that
again dad was working and
mom had you know
probably the hardest jobs.
Well your mom was sitting home with five
kids she's like I need a
playground nearby I need a
lake you know probably have some rules.
I think they really I think
that was well thought through.
Yeah absolutely did you walk to school?
I can remember walking to school I can
remember some of the bus rides.
Okay so close enough where she didn't
have to drive you guys.
That is correct.
No don't ever remember that.
That's smart.
I might have put her over the top.
Yeah yeah so high school where was that?
High school started in it was in New
Jersey for one year and
then I moved to Towson Maryland
outside of Baltimore and that was my 10th
11th and 12th grade year.
Okay so how hard was it to move to be the
new kid in high school?
For me it just worked out really well.
We had moved for someone like brothers
and sisters it was super hard.
Yeah super hard.
It's probably do you think that's because
of your disposition and
your personality since
everyone kind of responded to it
differently or because you
were a little older like did you
your younger siblings have a harder time
with it or your older siblings?
My older siblings.
Okay.
There it's really knowing me and then
knowing them they're I
love my brothers and sisters
have always been very good but we are
extremely different there.
The two my older sister and older brother
real intelligent and read a lot of books.
My brother was very handy.
I was out the door.
I was playing ball.
I was doing what you're
talking about your son doing.
I'm on the phone at 15.
I want to talk to my friends and girls.
So I was out.
My brother was out.
My sister was she was in
between that the younger.
But all good.
All good.
I think my sister and brother felt
responsibility to help my mom.
Especially my older sister.
She's she's wonderful but I think that
because my mom had
parents had so many kids.
Yeah she had she assumed a role.
Yeah and you know lives a great life
great husband and kids and
all that but at the same time I
think she got had to hold help out.
I think that happens.
I think I think in larger families the
older siblings naturally
are given some responsibility
of the younger siblings.
And so I think and I think back when your
parents were having
kids having a large family
was pretty common.
Right.
Correct.
More way more common
than now I would say.
Totally agree.
Yeah totally.
He said I have five kids now people
definitely be like wow we're
back then that was probably
like yeah yeah.
I think a lot of people did it.
Yeah a lot of people.
Especially Catholics.
Right.
That was a historical
Catholic large Catholic family.
Absolutely.
Yeah absolutely.
I think they felt that was
a big part of it you know.
Because I think my sister was born right
about nine months after the wedding.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah but that was part of it.
They you know they wanted to.
Well everything you just said too right
they met and then within
a year you're saying you
think they got married.
Then by nine months later they have your
sister and then four
more kids coming through.
Yeah that was that traditional.
I think that's just how
that's how it was you know.
A little interesting
tidbit on that though.
We talked about the malt shop which is
you know my dad just you know.
They went there after basketball games
when he was younger.
So this was you know it is cool.
But he said the moment my mother walked
into the malt shop like he
felt different kind of energy.
He goes I knew I was
going to marry this lady.
Wow.
He said that from the get-go and for him
to say it's kind of interesting because
he's kind of a little again soft-spoken a
little quiet and might
have kept that to himself.
But I remember him saying that and then
flash forward to when I
met my wife which we can talk
about when the time is right but met her
at a party through her
sister who I went to college with.
And what's interesting
she didn't feel this at all.
Same thing happened she walked into the
room and something happened.
You know.
I swear you guys I don't mean to because
I almost would have been easier.
I was living in New York.
Life was great.
Living with my college
roommate the cross buddy.
Life was great but this so
there's a connection there.
Remember my dad saying that I
go I felt that about my wife.
Shearcy everything
changed for the better.
That is so cool.
It is cool and it's so true you guys.
Yeah yeah that's fate.
Wish she would have felt the same way.
She's like what are you talking about?
It's like you know.
I think she can relate to what you're
saying when I walked in the room.
Well you guys did
connect rather quick right?
We were friends.
We met when we were 19 and we were really
good friends for three years.
So it was a little different.
Yeah yeah we were and our friendship just
got stronger and
stronger and stronger and then
about a month before we graduated college
we realized we felt like
we kind of expressed how
we felt.
I was dating one of his good friends and
so it allowed us to have
a really strong platonic
friendship because we were always in the
same group always together.
But did you feel close to Brian?
Yeah the year before we graduated I
remember feeling
conflicted definitely and we would
spend a lot of time together and I think
when we have reminisced on
that we both look back and think
we were both feeling the same thing but I
was dating his friend
and I'd been with him for a
long time and then I think it came to the
point where it was okay
so we need to just admit
how we're feeling and see what happens
and then we weren't apart after that.
Yeah yeah.
Beautiful though because you're the guy
and at the same time
you got those feelings
like that you know you
want to be with that person.
Yeah it was but you wanted to make sure
you know you don't want to
affect another
relationship unless it's like real.
That's tough.
And then that was it we were we graduated
a month later and we
drove around the country.
Are you still friends with
that person Brian or that all?
No I don't think so not really.
No.
No that's another story.
He was not happy with that?
Nope.
Okay.
But there was no um
what did the kids call it?
Crossover you know like I ended the
relationship and then there
was nothing like you know I'm
trying to say it was
all in the up and up.
Okay so high school um then you graduate
and well during high school
did you kind of get an idea
what you wanted to do for a living?
I didn't really think about it.
It's too good a time sports lacrosse uh
baseball lacrosse wrestling friends.
So when did you start playing lacrosse?
The last year in high school.
Your senior year?
Yeah I was.
You never played before?
I never did and we were big in lacrosse
outside of it but just so
many friends played so I was
picking up a stick.
So it started really in
college quite frankly.
I lived with a couple really good New
Yorkers that played some great lacrosse.
Yeah.
I got brought into the to the mix and it
ended up being just a great time.
So you played lacrosse in college?
Correct.
But you didn't start
until your senior year?
That is correct.
I mean that's unheard of now.
Well really at the time James Madison was
a club so um really good
lacrosse but they were clubs.
A lot of the schools that are clubs now
now play D1 and you know what I mean?
But it was just fantastic.
We played like a Virginia B team and they
would just beat you up.
But that time Virginia was winning titles
but yeah it was great and
I was really it was good
that I was able to pick it up like that.
I probably didn't compare to some of the
others but um you know I got involved in
running the club and ended up being the
president of the club and we
would go to various campuses
William and Mary you know Virginia
military and you know you
just play on the college campus
that's probably beautiful
all these beautiful campuses.
Roanoke, Virginia Tech.
Yeah.
How would you guys get around?
Like school?
They provided us resources.
Okay cool.
Because lacrosse was big in that area
that's Shenandoah Valley.
So it was big in the area so we always
had that and you know
they would do various things
to raise money but it was great you got
to meet friends and
then you'd be you know at
Lynchburg staying overnight or whatever
and some of the dorms of the other guys
on the other team and
did you have to try
out for the club team?
I know there's really no formal tryout
but I think what happened
by osmosis if you weren't
good enough yeah you know yeah we had a
coach who was a um ended
up becoming a mentor loved
the guy who was a World War II pilot
never forget him Colonel Roland Bud Brady
and he was the coach
and he was uh lived down in Stanton
probably 20-30 minutes from uh the
college and he wanted to uh
coach because he played lacrosse he was a
skier he was just this wonderful
gentleman and uh uh uh
great pilot some great stories behind it
in World War II but he took
to me so he knew that I had
at least I could play but captain you
know I was captain the
wrestling team in high school um one
of my buddies that I went to high college
with played lacrosse with
me um at college and he was
captain so we already had that kind of
experience on we can have fun and all
this kind of stuff but
at the same time we got to do this right
you know so let's do it he
saw leadership in you I think so
yeah I think so yeah because now um I
mean it's so competitive now like it's
even competitive club
is I think there's no doubt there it's
completely different I think where um
yeah I don't think you
just can play club even now it's you try
out for club and all that
so for you to be able to have
that experience and then to be recognized
for your leadership
characteristics and not just how long
you've been playing lacrosse is pretty
cool and I owe him a debt of gratitude
because one it helped me
further define who I was going to be and
being an air force uh and
he ended up being like the
military attachéd turkey and so he was a
class guy you needed to do
it as right and he you know
I met his wife and became part of the
extended family for some
time um they were class so he
just wanted you you know he still knew we
were kids but at the same
time expected a certain level of
and and you know I respected that he'd
have us into his house and
you know you'd have the uh
a little drink before dinner and
everybody dressed accordingly yeah and
you know when you were at
the table he he had dignitaries there
periodically there was a couple yeah it
was a couple wild stories
about who he who I had dinner with as a
young kid that I didn't
realize till till after the fact
but um he was well connected and well
respected and you know like I said uh
absolutely loved the
guy you were you were learning life
skills learning life skills yeah from a
hero by the way from a
year absolutely absolutely he left me his
uh when he passed um and got
buried in Arlington the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen um he left
me his flight records and some of the
stories in the flight
records were like you know how they flow
in these formation if someone gets hit
you got to take lead
and stuff and there's just some of the
stories and he wasn't he wasn't talked
too deep about it but
once I got the flight records the guy was
a hero that's amazing it's
amazing I wish we could have
one of those guys on you know I don't
know if there's any around
there's a there's a small
population of like world war two vets
around yeah just to
capture some of their stories
you know because the younger generations
have no concept of world
war one world war two veterans
really what they have to say you know we
kind of do because of
growing up and hearing you know on
tv or interviews or whatever but there's
just no exposure anymore you
know so I just think that's
so amazing that he was your lacrosse
coach that's so cool it was meant to be
did absolutely did you
maintain a relationship after you
graduated I did you did any effort did he
meet any of your like
and kids or anything like that he did um
again he was getting older
and had some heart problems so
I think he died in uh in his later 70s
but they owned a really
classy bath shop in this cute town
called stant virginia we stayed there did
you yeah so it's funny the world of
lacrosse we were going
to lacrosse tournaments a couple summers
ago right up in the
northeast kinetic at a road island or
something and we left here south florida
drove all the way up to
stanton spent the night there
got up the next day and drove up what is
it 70 something whatever
81 81 I think so past odu
old dominion which really has that's the
purple stadium really cool
school beautiful area yeah
we're on the uh towards the water right
what is old dominion in
that that now no no I'm sorry
where did you go again what did you say
uh James Madison
that's what we passed right
right that's correct it was right off the
script the two up we
passed James Madison yeah yeah
beautiful old dominions totally on either
side of the state yeah I
thank god for that college
experience it was you hope everybody has
it and I realize now more
than ever you don't have to
have a college degree by any you know
whatever works but again
it's super important to the
time yeah but what a 40 well it's five
you did five years you got
that fifth year okay so when
did you know um you wanted to go there
because you're in high
school because now of course
everything's so crazy with kids you know
junior year you're touring
colleges and you can even
start applying to college this summer
before your senior year and a lot of
these kids know where
they're going by fall of their senior
year but I don't think it
was like that back then right
was it yeah so what was it like when you
went to go to college one
it was exciting yeah you know
what I mean and you know we had some
resources the parents deal was they'll
pay for half you got to
work in the summers and because he had
that kind of a job he was able
to get us all good jobs where
we're earning yeah money you know working
in that's true HR we yeah yeah but they
also was smart again
seven to three three to eleven eleven to
seven so we would be
doing shifts working in these
various plants and so that kind of made
you appreciate learning
how to be a good worker and
and then being a little jealous of your
friends going out but at
the same time you know we made
some good money so there was that good
mix up we're paying 50 50
and you know that was that was
the agreement but just being able to
experience meeting the
people that I did in the Virginia
was beautiful it just you know I couldn't
have asked for more
but back to your question
it really came down to what were our SATs
I knew I wanted to go with my best buddy
as well so his SATs a little lacking but
you know you know what I'm saying and
then it was how much
to get in right so those were the two
variables and then we'd bounce around on
and visit where were that where were they
and quite honestly it
was so funny I can remember
still were up in my bedroom you know
figuring out they had the books at the
time there was not like
what you see now we're like James Madison
okay it was 3 000 a
semester or it was affordable what
it might even have been a year at the
time and you know the SAT
scores and then 65 girls
35 guys it was a woman's teacher college
years and years ago boom that's a great
so that ratio just fell right into
something that just stood out and then
you go visit and you're
like yeah you know it's just blown up now
but at the time there were
like 10 000 students including
you know people that are what's at the
after graduates or whatever
they yeah yeah so you guys
would have a book yeah they would have
all the colleges right and
so you kind of narrowed down
maybe where you want to go or you would
just look through the book
and read about the different
and mainly it was the SAT score required
so they didn't really look at
care about grades as much um
I don't think so so it's SAT and then you
looked at how much does
this cost like can we afford it
can our family afford it correct I don't
remember like the high
school counselor helping me much
might have but again yeah I didn't need
that kind of yeah and then you didn't
have to write an essay
or have a resume did we no are you yeah
we had to do that I don't
remember that at all we had to do
an essay but we didn't have to do a
resume because now it's SAT grades okay
resume essay yeah it's a
whole thing I imagine people pay that pay
college um counselors or guys like
thousands there's a whole
industry yeah it's so different okay so
when did you know you
got accepted got accepted
like senior year end of senior year you
know I think I worked for
six months before I uh because
I didn't get in I don't believe the first
semester or you know how
that what was what they called
they put you on like a waiting list yeah
deferred and then my uh
college roommate that I wanted to
make sure it took him a year to be able
to get in so I think six
months I stayed working in the
plants you know that kind of thing
building up money but knowing
that I was getting in and then
he joined about six months later and then
did you guys uh were you in
dorms um we went off campus
from the very get-go okay it went and
that was so the two of you in an
apartment we did and then
did you do greek life at all I didn't we
couldn't play in a sport
okay it would have been really
and I do miss that because my son went
through that that thank god I
was able to be part of as a dad
and I really enjoyed what I saw but no it
was it was too much well
your form of that would have
been being with lacrosse you still had
that camaraderie oh
absolutely so you guys had parties
oh my god all that stuff was so when okay
so if you started what
maybe spring semester you said
you were different yeah yeah okay um and
then he started what the
following the following yeah
right the following fall okay so that
first semester were you on
your own I you know ended
up just meeting a couple people that were
in the same type of
scenario and you know you get pot
luck and it worked out pretty good nice
work so you guys got an apartment
together got an apartment
okay fine it was such a farm kind of area
at those times yeah um
and it was just it was you
know you could go in there was quarries
and forests and you know
that shannon doan valley
so they was just idyllic so they had like
the dorms out campus
because it was growing so much
where these cute apartments they built
into the scenery that's
awesome it's it's truly a beautiful
area for anybody who's not been through
there it's beautiful it's
so beautiful so when if you
started spring and he started fall when
did you guys start lacrosse
that first that that fall yeah
that fall that's fine so then that's when
you're lacrosse yeah club
lacrosse and did you do that
time you were in school correct you say
what's interesting one of
the guys that i met that roomed
with and you know we i don't think we
stayed not friends he was fine but um
just not meant to be
as far as you know the lasting friendship
kind of thing he's the one
that turned me on to lacrosse
so he would sit there so for those six
months as my friend was coming down um
you know that's where
i learned in it just kind of well you had
played for the senior year
in high school right no no i
just played with the guys that's the
first time i picked up a stick yeah so
what you didn't actually
play on this the high school team no no
you just had friends who did that's
correct and would like
pick up a stick and mess around with them
but then that spring semester
college and you met this kid
correct and he pretty much taught you
lacrosse it did that's amazing you know
it's wild too is you
know how some things like i love golf but
i was never natural at that
at all as much as i love it
it just seemed like lacrosse you're you
you must you must have been
you must have been you know
to be able there's a lot of stamina
associated with that i was
telling you i wrestled in college
excuse me high school not college and you
know you got to control
weight you got to do a lot of
things that challenge you discipline
discipline so on a discipline yeah yeah
so you know our practices
and this is you know a army excuse me a
air force colonel
running the practice you ran
i think 10 miles of practice that might
be an exaggeration but we
were in really really good
shape so i think that that helped me as
much i don't think i was
as good as some of the ones
that were more natural but i was able to
score a fair amount be
around that but uh i definitely
wasn't on the top echelon but i was i was
helpful in yeah you had a good uh
athletic base to build
off absolutely so do you know what
position do you remember what position
sure midi center midi
okay and you need to be quick and have
good stamina to be a midi
because you're back and forth
back and forth back and forth each end of
the field that and that was
it that was it and i love that
as you know i think you're got you're
telling me your son played
plays yeah i love that you know
it's physical it is and you know as a
young guy you want to get that
out of you yeah you know what
i mean the sly brian and somebody's
coming and you're coming across the
crease and this guy checks
you and i'm gonna take it was so that was
now it's a great it's an
amazing game i don't think
she can relate to or not relate but she's
shocked because it's
changed so much yeah you've got to
build up even just to get into a club
program at this point it's a
whole thing it's nuts yeah i
don't know if i would have been able to
get in it it's a whole thing
and playing you need to play
travel in order to really keep it like
the rec um programs and i
think this is true with a lot of
sports now is younger kids start out in
rec and then a lot of kids
will pick a sport and do travel
that sport and then play on the rec teams
during that season and are
so much better than just kids
that are just doing it for fun and then
those kids don't get
playing i think travel sports has
affected rec sports hundred percent it's
kind of pushed out kids
that just want to play sports
just casually you know especially here in
florida because it's so nice year round
that kids pick a sport at a young age and
they focus on it and
they get really good at it
so to her point the casual you know
athlete rec athlete they're
just behind it's become very
intense very quickly yeah i don't know if
i like that no i don't like
it no because you know what
you want these kids to still play sports
even if they went into a y
mca yeah they still have them
and you know you get on a team and you
know that was such a big part
of my life yeah i and i think
for our age too i think travel was just
starting for gen x i played right i
played football in the
fall basketball in the winter and then
baseball in the summer or
spring summer and then you screw
around in the summer and you jump back
into football but i think
they don't do that anymore
it's like year round that was fabulous
right i mean it had to be i
loved it i mean i can totally
relate to what you're saying that ideally
childhood of playing different sports and
just being athletic and you know they do
say a lot of the um like
a lot of lacrosse coaches
even football coaches the big programs
they want multi-sport
athletes because they know they're
more well-rounded they're not just
completely hyper focused you start
running in the repetitive
repetitive motion injuries you know
pitchers now totally tommy john
football players get hurt all that stuff
and burnout right and
burnout i think 100 percent
yeah that's interesting you know it's
it's changed and and
there's just an intensity
amongst parents and there's it's just
different now so it's really
that old fashion oh i'm just
gonna play a sport it's not once you hit
i feel like 10 10 is where
the 10 you gotta be good or
you're out or yeah the 10 is when they're
really although now we've
been at now it might be eight
or nine like when you know you know
what'll have to happen you gotta come
back in a few years when
jd jr's about to get in when he has to
decide you come back and
tell us yeah because he is a
grandfather yeah your kids with their
kids are i'm gonna end up
going through it it's just
i don't know the whole the whole
phenomenon is really interesting i'm
hoping that it's gonna go
so far it's going so far this way that
eventually it'll come back
around it and people start to
embrace just the organic playing of
sports it'll happen that's i think so i
think that's gonna be
the next step that's the next business
there you go is that so
interesting you talk about it so i
my grandson who's jackson decklin and
john david so he's you
know i was hoping he'd say
call him james they got the initials
right he's yeah but anyway
for whatever reason his dad he's
got these plastic clubs you know golf
clubs he loves golf because
his dad loves golf so i've
taken him to the range you know at the
country club a couple
times and he's got a little bag
that says jackson and you know we got him
the real driver or real
sandwich in a putter and he's two
and a half right so we'll get up there
and you know everybody's so kind to him
and stuff you know we
don't do it where you know because he's
young and i don't want to mess up the
flow of people really
being serious but you know there's it's
so hot right now that you
know it's not near as busy but
anyway two and a half there's a guy
giving lessons to pro to a woman and you
know jackson sitting
there watching what's going on i can't
explain well honey this
teaches you how to be good well
anyway i called the guy because started
goes you're two and a half year old got
he you know his swing
he's got he's been walks around the swing
so sure enough the the pro
goes well generally people
don't start till four or five but he goes
i do have a couple two
and a half year olds that
wow you know if they can sit or and and
they'll listen if they'll
listen so monday 11 o'clock
monday or the afternoon i forget what
time um god his first
lesson oh my god taking him oh my
no but i'm now i'm going back to going
you're in it i'm in it but
i'd rather him be well rounded
and be able to do all those multiple
things yeah yeah yeah but he
walks around with the you know
a club in his hand yeah he likes it he
likes it no i mean i
think and and training uh kids
don't get trainings on all the sports
it's very common now so
whether they're playing multiple
sports they're getting trainings on all
those so like if you were to
tell that to anyone they'd be
like yeah that sounds normal you know
that's just how it is that's what you do
you know with everything
we said we're part of it yeah we're part
of it we've done the
travel up to the northeast we've
done it all so we're not it is what it is
with your older kids or is
that just your younger so
it's interesting yeah so what's
interesting is with our um with our old
with our older son um travel
existed he's 28 so he was born in 1997 so
when he was in middle
school elementary it was just
regular little league um and then middle
school he played for the school and
travel wasn't really
really prevalent yet for they existed but
it wasn't no one was
talking about it it wasn't like
so what travel team is he going to play
for or who's he trying it
wasn't common like that so that
was 15 that was like 14 13 14 yeah so he
just he played little
league um and then for his middle
class he was a little bit older but he
didn't do travel but he he
showed an interest and we we
hired that one dude to teach him how to
pitch yeah what was that or
something yeah in new jersey
oh yeah that was yeah that was for
pitching but that was all we
did with him but our daughter
it was starting to get prevalent she
played travel soccer that was a whole
thing um so we were in the
travel soccer world for a while so and
she was born in 2000 so i
feel like i feel like it's more
like the early 2000s and then now it's
just it's crazy now what's
wild though like if we've got a
you know there's a few nice parks here
we're in south florida so
the weather is always nice say
if i go over we go over and throw a
lacrosse ball or something at the park
there's guys they're
working on their drop back to be a
quarterback they're working
on footwork right it's crazy
there's people there kicking field goals
there's soccer kids
they're you know doing penalty or
corner kicks you know to try to all that
stuff it's cool but it is
wild especially you know you
can relate to the jersey thing me growing
up there that wasn't a
thing yeah you didn't have an
intense focus on this one thing no not at
all no no where these kids are
specializing it's cool
but it's wild yeah you know not get it
and that's great if you can
be that you want to be that guy
but i think overall yeah you just want to
be well rounded and enjoy
you know what i mean um so i
i wanted to go back you moved a lot out
of all the states you
lived in is there one that you
favored or that you have really strong
memories from that time
period because you were in indiana
you were in louisiana you were in jersey
that's a great question it's
got multiple different ways
to answer that because i think all i
don't remember the
michigan indiana you know i was
young but i think we moved to louisiana
when i was four or five so
i can remember things about
louisiana in the later 60s that impacted
me greatly so i remember
that as a young kid having
some major influences nothing to do with
sports or stuff like that
at the time but it was a big
difference from the midwest going to bat
ruse louisiana what
were some of the things
that you were talking about there was a
lot of racism and i can
remember and it ended up being
because i have to say this properly the
way that my parents walked me
through it the school that i
went to which was a catholic school um
was able to educate you on
what's right and what's wrong
and you know there was uh buses that were
white and black there was
restaurants that were white
and you know people didn't treat various
races the black folks fit
well and i can remember it
being really a bad thing and that hurt
because you didn't want
anybody else to feel a bad thing so
i'm glad that i was left with that by
through my parents um that there's
absolutely no room for
this and to see it it just you know i can
just remember you know
people talking down to a man
got a son in front of him and i could
think of that today and it
would just be it's there's no
room for that so not a great thing but
coming away from that
experience and bat ruse taught me to
you know i'm not gonna i don't want to be
that person yeah because
how old were you during those
years probably six to maybe eight those
are formative years
formative years so that was
something that you carried with you for
the rest of your life yeah to
this day yeah it's a pivotal
pivotal moment so so i have such fun i
mean bat ruse was cool and
it was just different you know
it was lsu so i can remember the first
football game i ever went
to with my dad lsu old man so
there's bat and bat ruse um and then i
really you know will michigan delaware
seems to be a little
stop off for us you know so can't
remember too much except for
living near a school and it was
fabulous fun new jersey was outstanding
so you were you were um more
a teenager what 70s mid-70s
correct so were you into music you know
no rhythm no i loved i think our
generation has some of the
greeno that you know what i mean the band
you guys know um so i was
into it that way but you know i
couldn't dance my rhythm was poor uh no
musical aptitude but huge
appreciation and surprisingly
good at knowing what's good yeah but
nothing related to talent
did you go see live music oh
yeah so what were some of the bands you
saw bob seager super tramp bruce
springsteen that kind
of thing yeah did you see led zeppelin
never saw led zeppelin in
college there was a lot of uh
country rock you know marshall tucker oh
yeah neil young about
leonard skinner leonard skinner
tom petty um almond brothers almond
brothers you see all of
these um i didn't see the almond
brothers i saw three of the four we
discussed um yeah they would
come and you know we lived near
we were close to charlottesville so you'd
get a lot of good stuff coming into
charlottesville i think it
was only 45 minutes away so you saw a lot
of these bands um in their
prime or as they were just
starting yeah if they're coming to
college just they came to
your college or i'd go up into
charlottesville and they'd had but yeah i
think it was i forget who it
was uh 38 special and and and
i think neil young and you know it was a
local type of thing and
charlottesville is a major stop
it's a major stop i think that's where a
lot of it was so would you
see them in big venues or in
like a bar um big bigger venues bigger
venue you know and then
going back home into maryland for
you know summer or for breaks and stuff
we'd cruise into you know
dc and the capital center
that's where i you know saltine
springsteen and some of the but it's all
in that prime you know
like for us because we were born in 71 so
we're into that music but
it for us it was looking back
on that there was and and we have been
able to see some of those
bands live but it's not in their
prime if that makes sense so i've always
with the original members with the
original members i just
have always been envious of people who
were able and probably kids
that are older like would be
envious if we were able to see maybe
nirvana or pearl jam in their prime
because that's when we
were in our 20s early 20s but um i just
think that's that time
frame and music i don't think
has been replicated since feels that way
yeah my kids are listening
to it other people you know
are they're doing remakes of those songs
yeah yeah yeah yeah was
that good time i mean you're
10 years younger you said okay so was
that nirvana all that stuff was good
stuff going to see i mean
do you feel like so we actually you still
had a good ride at the time
we the grunge movement came
when we were 23 22 23 24 maybe a little
younger we didn't see the
see those bands live because
got married and started having kids and
we were busy doing that but
um we that whole thing that
was going on it was happening when we
were in our early 20s and so the
discovery of that music
like we were hearing it live on the radio
for the first time you know
where kids now look back on
that like it'd be like hearing led
zeppelin on the radio for the first time
like so even though we
didn't see nirvana we didn't see pearl
jam we're also huge dead
heads yeah so when we could see
we had the time we went and saw the dead
and then or dead cover bands
or almond brothers we saw the
almond brothers at the beacon in new york
city we used to go do that
once a year yeah cross we
stills in nash and yang neil young um i
saw seve and rivan before
he died so that's that that i
feel really lucky about that i i think we
we were the tail end of that
where they were probably still
members yeah they were still good but
they had aged a little
bit and then then that whole
grunge scene came on the scene and music
did change we saw bob
dillon we saw santana yeah
all that so that's why our son's name is
dillon after bob really yeah
and then you see that movie
which was just mind-blowing recently did
you we haven't seen it yet
you guys no but it's timothy
shall me i think it plays him amazing
yeah i want to see that's all
i can say and that music you
that that that thing going really train
he was the transition point
as you know from that folk
kind of yes yes go see that movie yeah
phenomenal no i want to see
it dillon movie yeah timothy
shall i may i think plays it fabulous
really fabulous see it in
a theater as opposed if you
can yeah you know what's coming up um
what is what's the date
there's that dead movie that's
coming out yeah in the theaters so we go
that they'll do what do
they call it the night at the
grateful dead night at the theater or
something like that and it's
all around the country on this
one night all there's theaters in every
town that plays and they do
it and they take a different
show it's cool so we go as a family so
but anyways i just think
that's that's cool that
you were able to really go see a lot of
these bands live and just
experiencing the music yeah
you know you were talking about the dead
you got a lot of credit to
them because a lot of the kids
at college were going to see the dead
yeah so they they they
endured they they persevered
because what years uh would college have
been eighty to eighty
four for college for you yeah
was eighty to eighty four correct and
they were going to dead shows
they were going to dead yeah
and that's that early 80s absolutely yeah
i know there was a bunch you
know because yeah yes one of
my favorite shows i went to rfk in dc and
saw the dead there i was
i'm sure some of my friends
might have been there because you know
you don't just go to one or
two no no no yeah because that
was um brent keith and brent yeah those
years keith and brent on
the piano okay we're getting
sidetracked with music which we do i do
have a question though
yeah i want to go back to your
louisiana days sure so i've always known
you as a kind giving
open-minded person and a nice guy
as well right does that experience in
louisiana how much does that
intersay your lens today and
part of the question i have is when you
were there as a little guy
did you know it was wrong
that what you were seeing and the parents
helped you make sense of it
or did they explain to you
this isn't right that makes sense it does
um to answer your question
it defined me to be honest
i'm appreciative and you know i don't
mean that that makes me better than
anything i'm just saying
that absolutely defined me and yes my
parents helped me but i knew
it was wrong and i remember
the look on the kid's face when they're
chastising some man who's not the same
color in it and it's
wrong so yeah yeah so so i was the
beneficiary of being able to see it but
not having to be the
person to experience and that it never
should be that way yeah so so
yeah it was very very fortunate
that that that i was able to see it that
way because some people
don't yeah yeah but um yeah
so that was a huge huge thing and you
know when you look back at
blessings in life i think that
helped all our family yeah you know yeah
no that makes just that time
being there seeing yeah yeah
makes sense yeah and we moved enough to
know that there are differences yeah
that's not right yeah
so no that's that's again like i said
just such a pivotal moment in
your life for sure and again
wish it never happened but couldn't be
more thankful because
you know if everybody was
just treating people right you know i
know it sounds you know
yeah okay yeah but i mean
it's as simple as that it really is
a lot of things complicated so media
platforms oh yeah but to the
core yeah it's that simple so
when you were in college what did you
study uh it was like a marketing major
and a minor in economics
okay and at that time as you're going
through school did you
know what you wanted to do or
were you just i'm interested in this so
i'll get a degree in this
yeah i think that i've always that type
of guy sales guy i mean i
didn't know i was going to be
a sales guy but i didn't see me being
engineering or have technical
skills okay that led me down
that path my sister was super smart val
victorian three-year high school
three-year university in
Maryland wow you know smarter than us
yeah well yeah my brother
engineer smart that kind of thing
but they you know they weren't doing the
same things i did as far
as with the social life
so did your younger siblings take more
after you yeah my sister went to madison
which was kind of cool yeah we're there
together yeah oh that's cool
she came a year or two after
but it was cool it was very cool you got
to party with your sister a
little bit i think she thinks
i did a little more than you know i think
she was a little more smart
about i was everywhere doing
with everybody and she was knew a lot of
people i had a lot of
friends but she was also focused on
being smart yeah and what about your
younger brother he was
great i think he went to west
virginia for a couple years oh that's a
fun school yeah and then i
forget where he graduated from
for two years but he played football and
not in college but at
high school he's high school
quarterbacks he was my younger brother
they kind of were more like loose like
you so your older two
were more responsible yeah and then you
kind of broke them all
that's exactly what did you
were you the corruptive force or were
just yeah and you know what i think you
know the good things
you get in life that some people just
have this you know they're calm and
control and they come off
i've been i'm pretty hyper yeah i don't
mean that a bad way but i'm excited i
want to be in and i'm
non-stop my parents should be just like
i'm tired yeah and not so much in a bad
way but you know back
to what about talking about my sister
especially when the kids were younger i
think that she became
some of that because she had to be
responsible and she was and you know
we're thankful that she was
yeah yeah that makes sense but at the
same time i'm glad i wasn't
first because we yeah you know
i mean after school or after dinner when
you're 15 years old 13
years old 16 years old yeah some
of the best times of the life so yeah
yeah yeah yeah you said you
went five years which um in
college which i don't think back then was
like now that's so typical
kids try to go five years
actually but back then four and a half
remember i said yeah okay so
that's where it is okay okay
okay so i was wondering where did that
extra year come from
okay so when you graduated
did you know did you have a job already
set you know what that's
a great question because
turned into this met another my best
friend john lonann who
happens to be the high school guy
matter of fact when i moved it was hard
you mentioned earlier
about moving stuff tenth
grade that was a little tough you know
what i mean took me under
his wing pretty much so became
best of friends still are today oh that's
cool so yeah absolutely so
he helped me with um the high
school acclimation and bringing me in to
the the group that you know
the sports people and that
it was you know that's really cool yeah
it is cool yeah yeah
what's that matthew mcconaughey
movie that they do where they're all in
high school dazed and
confused dazed and confused
that was 100 us more on the booze side
yeah okay other side but
that's what it was like so dazed
and confused is pretty accurate pretty
accurate that's one of my
favorite we love that movie
yeah it's again you know we were athletes
so there wasn't as much
of you know uh marijuana
at the time and not anti at all trust me
ran into that in college
in his grade but we were
that was but keg parties in the field keg
parties at the reservoir
yeah what about the fashion from
that movie pretty accurate pretty
accurate yeah and the cars absolutely i
had a dodge challenger
oh nice nice so classic you guys it was
again not everything's always yeah
perfect by any means but
boy that's that's sure how i remember
that what color um it was white when i
bought it from a guy
i'll never forget it beautiful car he had
painted the san francisco
bay bridge on the car so here i
am 17 years old and it was called the san
francisco no way and i ended
up painting over it because you
know yeah but at the same time you got it
you know it was a hearth
pistol grip those are all those
again even the climbing i'm so surprised
that i'm survived they
were fast and dangerous they
didn't handle well but you could go fast
you could go fast we were
lucky enough to have some of those
cars still around when like we got into
high school like my buddy had an old
camaro oh beautiful my
best friend's brother had the smoky and
the bandit trans am get a
blue one we're driving down the
parkway once in new jersey doing like 85
90 miles an hour he floors it
and we spun out racing racing
uh what are what's one of those other
crazy muscle cars i can't remember like a
camaro or mustangs or
something like that grand terrina no
something like that did you
have an eight track oh that's
what it started with and then it went to
cassette i think right about
yeah that time okay but you
did you did have the eight track before
you went that was such a
small part but i do remember like
the first time i was in the middle of the
song clicking over so yeah
yeah yeah that's cool that
days the confused is authentic yeah we it
was the big thing you know
after friday night sporting
event everybody went whether it was
football wrestling
basketball and you know you'd go to
the reservoir oh god this was great and
you just like how many kegs yeah
dependent upon what was
going on or the time of year because you
know winter little bit
different but um uh you know
they were good kids there wasn't a lot of
bad things but you were
very fortunate because i
think right when i was uh either
graduating or in high schools when they
started you know the
drinking and driving wasn't smart yeah
wasn't smart you know that
picked up in earnest by the
time we got there yeah thank god actually
wasn't the drinking age
lower for did were you like
18 but because of accidents yeah they
moved it up to 21 relatively
quickly so did you experience
were you able to drink when you were 18
before they moved it up yes
okay all right so you were
part of that yes and then they moved it
up not that that stopped
you from drinking but they
ripped it up right right right because
we've never we've only known 21 so you
were there when that
whole transition it's smart that they did
that because of maturity
but i also realized if you
fight do all these things who am i to
judge but from a safety
standpoint yeah i think we're all
very you know you sometimes you're just
fortunate but if you're one of the
unlucky ones and make a
mistake yeah that's a bummer because you
don't want that to happen
to anybody but i mean we you
guys we would have people you know those
little consoles they had
and they were bigger consoles
i mean you know just where you like
nowadays you put your keys yeah yeah i
mean they'd have ice in
them and you'd have your beers in them
and it was days confused you
guys like roadies were normal
just to bring a roadie everyone had a
beer everyone had a beer yeah there
wasn't liquor i can't
remember until really later in college
quite frankly but it was
the beer everyone we caught
the tail end of that we still got
exposure to that but by then there was a
lot more there's a lot
more of laws against strong drive and bag
parties and stuff oh yeah we
did yeah we were in the field
that you'll see gen xers talk about you
know your our parents thought we were
spending the night at
someone's house and we were passed out in
a field somewhere so we had that
experience you know with
kegs and we did more houses you guys did
more houses we and we had
house parties too but we
did because i grew up in oregon so there
were fields there were
like timber fields or forests
you know you could go and but we did have
house parties yeah you
grew up in a rural area but it
was a smaller town so i think the cops
were more on you guys if you
were in a field there weren't
as many fields there were cul-de-sac so
yeah i think where i grew
up where i used to play in
streams and woods it's all houses now so
they were building it all
back then so you go up to
a dead end we had party balls back then
yeah or we'd go to like the
clan or the you know have just
that beer whatever but people's houses
local kids you know local
kids who would be in a band
that was fun stuff yeah now those those
were the days that's great
stuff great so you were talking
about your friend though that took you
under his wing did he well
so he took me under his wing
the other roommate who was a new yorker
who's wayne hall best
friend as well to this day we
talked twice a week at least that's
awesome so when we he
graduated probably a happy year or so
before me and winton worked for uh at the
time they sold like
software to schools you know it
was the time where the computers just
like the apple just got
developed and you know all these
types of things that was like 84 85 that
is correct that's exactly
correct so i went up there
and we did a lot of technology for years
okay and it was great lived
at his house the first year
um so this is post college post college
you lived with these guys
yeah in the city um no outside
city in honeyton long island oh in long
island okay long island
and then so what'd you do for
your job we ended up starting a software
services company called
forest systems wow yep yep and it
went really well for a lot of years um at
one point had up to 50
people and we ended up having
some issues on selling hardware products
because a lot of it was
based upon chips and at the time
memory chips would fluctuate like that so
that wasn't the good business to be in so
divested ourselves from that a little bit
painful to be quite
honest but we had a services
entered entity where we did a bunch of
cabling and we'd put bodies
on site yeah that's money yeah
so so that happened i think we did this
for 12 years and at that
point it was you weren't making
what you wanted to make it wasn't going
to be the dream come true
that you wanted although
it provided well for a lot of years and
at that time people that we
met in the field uh either
selling products to or becoming part of
the industry is when my
life changed in such a great
way for career wise i went to work for
cisco systems when they
first started getting wind
under their wing so here i am i'm 30s and
i'm in a i've got a global
job working out of pen plaza
madison square garden service and ball
street service and
financial things learning from a
company that you know had this leader
john chambers who was just
an incredible businessman
and bought companies and did acquisitions
better than anybody at
least that i've ever come across
and i'm sure there's a bunch of success
stories rightfully so but he
was known in the industry so
he would always acquire these companies
build them into the mix and cisco went
off like a rocket ship
what years uh when was that 90s yes that
was 96 okay okay they did
blow up then they had bought a
communications company a france company
that had this telephone
line so it was the first time
there was competition to companies like
avaya brian yeah and i
know you know cisco's phones
but i mean it's turned into you know they
bought a computing
platform um you know now they're
they're their servers are you know yeah
they're right up there with
some of the biggies so i was
able to see and experience that and that
allowed me to travel because
i was in new york city i was
able to service accounts that had a lot
of you know meat on the
bone so we got to california
several times a year give them executive
briefings take them up to
napa valley um have the wife come
out on the tail end it was it was
wonderful and then very very
fortunate to become a global
account manager so i was able for like
six eight years travel the
world so just to go back so you
you guys start this software company
which i'm still like that's
so cool that you did that right
out of college um really it like this is
all kind of new right in the
seven late 70s mid late 70s
and early 80s this whole computer it
stuff is new right so you're right there
and then you said you
for the next 12 years you handled a
business that handled cabling well that
was just a component of
one of the services it was like we would
get bodies and they would
come in and train people
on how to use like if you can remember
again you're 10 years younger but it's
like the first time like
everything was lotus one two three you
remember that yeah and it
was at the time the multi-mator
word perfect so these software packages
came out that revolutionized yeah
everything you know what
i mean they went from uh the the green
screen as everybody calls it the black
screen with the white
text back then it was green text yeah
yeah right then what they're
describing is that that shift
from that to actual windows and a mouse
and a keyboard so you were
a part of that part of that
so you would sell that software that is
correct so you'd go to
businesses correct and they would
have that traditional black screen with
the green writing yeah when
you type right in my picture
yes right because i'm not it so you're
talking about what you got
yeah yeah through osmosis
sometimes i understand what things he's
saying um and then you
would say look at this look at
this amazing software and what it can do
and that were people blown away blown
away and think about
here's email right but you're you were
pre-email that was the email
the foray into email because
was what did that software have emails
did it introduce it didn't
know what we're saying is
the green screen no email it was just
right yeah then there was probably some
messaging app but it
wasn't nearly as sophisticated and simple
as 100 wasn't but you
know these word processors
are spreadsheets that you know
accountants used to pen and pencil and
calculators so i look back and
it was so good and you know i've been
very fortunate but at
the same time you know made
some mistakes because we could really
capitalize if we would have
not been four guys that got
together and started a business that all
just said grow grow grow
give credit to people trust
all these things like you need in a like
the business that that
i work for nowadays that
brian's aware of the the leader and his
partner um the partners are
a very good accountant cfo
we needed things like that because at
that time you guys there
was so much great opportunity
if you remember y2k yeah and everybody
was so concerned that when
that clock went from 99 to
2000 that your systems didn't work so
people spent a fortune to upgrade their
billions billions and
we were the recipients of that no
question so you were you were
out there selling software so
so that people could um be confident that
their whole system wasn't
going to fail once it went
from 1999 to 2000 there was a mix of uh
at that time what became
popular just prior to that was
the local area network so what that meant
is that people were now
connected to one another via
computers it was all wired there was no
wireless but if you can
imagine the gain and productivity
from going from single computers and
they're only just single
computers so you didn't really share
anything unless you gave someone a floppy
disk or some of those things
yeah and it went to connected
so it was steps along the way but it was
really big because
businesses got a lot more effective
and efficient leveraging technology see
yeah so you had the body
shop setting up lands and then
y2k stuff right now y2k stuff was amazing
in terms of money
because everyone was nervous
and they would hire people you were
probably putting people on site to go
through old software
code the green screen code line by line
to make sure that it would
handle four digits instead of
two that's really what it was all about
right it went from four two
digits 99 everyone assumed
1900 and then it went to 2000 that's the
whole problem so they had
people going through lines
of code i worked for a company they made
tons of money and then once
it happened and it was this
big dud right there was this non-event
they fired all those
people in their stock tank
and they had to diversify but that's when
the dot com bomb uh uh dot
com blew up that's correct
yeah that's exactly correct but did it
did um everything not
fail because of all this
because of the steps that were taken so
was it a dud a combo
actually would you say was a combo
because there were some were true to it
but a lot of fear you needed to do it
because if you didn't
and it didn't work you would have been
you know who wants to be that
person that didn't yeah didn't
address an issue gamble it would be a
gamble but um to brian's point it might
not have been near as
catastrophic as it was sold but
catastrophic away because one you know
budgets were available
yeah totally so so it was good and i
worked for cisco at that point
in y2k and you know everybody
yeah so but anyway prior to your question
we were selling you know
bodies to train people yeah um
so you on these programs you actually
were you i mean it's
fascinating to think of that
time in your life your your generation
where you guys are on the forefront of
that someone your age
right so to go from that i was just
getting into my career and i was at a
company that was doing
that and then the dot com uh just you
know the internet exploded
and being at cisco for that
that's a straight up trajectory right and
that's when chambers was
doing all that stuff well at
one point they were the most valued
company in the world and it
changed quick because you know
there was a bust right yeah because they
were all overvalued yeah
they were you know you only sell
what your revenue was this your profit
was this but they were doing
multipliers that didn't make
sense so there had to be a readjustment
but cisco at the time cisco
at the time displaced a via
phones for jitsu phones everybody you you
pick up a phone you watch tv now all
those phones you see
cisco you look at the white house phone
of when their president
sitting in whatever the oval
office is it's a cisco phone so that
brings me to um for
listeners who are not um know nothing
about technology like let's like they
know nothing how would you describe to
someone what cisco does
what is cisco a company that enables you
to do business in a very
efficient and effective way
you can do that by utilizing automation
and and software programs
that kind of like what you're
used to your iphone now is does
everything so you can imagine that just
prior to this if someone
would call there wasn't voicemail they'd
get a sticky and they
would give that to you but
business still moved because you got the
message and you
responded to it but there was no
connection and there was no immediate
response there was no so i
would say that cisco just
provided all those kind of infrastructure
elements and software
systems really operating systems
but that enabled people to have software
programs on them that
enabled you to do things that you
couldn't ever do before so businesses
could do get into markets
they didn't serve before
businesses could expand because it wasn't
this big jump to have to
put a facility there you could
have a location and just you're connected
to it so it really changed
the playing field and i think
brian correct me if i'm wrong because
you're in the glass house now
right the cio really only got
in the glass house when all this happened
the chief information
officer it used to be this
there was no you know the chief operating
officer the chief executive
but then all of a sudden it
became that important and the cio in the
later 90s or maybe early
2000s he was sitting at the
table and that wasn't happening and that
was around the y2k time
do you think y2k had a lot
to do with it probably with everything
was there like let's bring
this person needs to be just as
important as everyone else i think so
because of what's going on so you were
there at the birth of
so much of this the internet so it really
yeah like you remember
life before the internet i do
and then you were there which we do too
yeah but um professionally though and
then so professionally
how how did your career change as
technology grew how did it
affect your career not just
opportunity wise but just um hands-on
your daily life like you were
there when there was an email
then there was email and all these
different things like how did
it affect you i think overall
and i may be unique to some degrees
because of the career path
that i took being a salesperson
but you know how everybody used to have
to you know two hours
in from the island into
new york city you needed to be at your
office technology allowed
you you didn't have to be there
as long as you were being productive so i
could still help my wife
raise the kids and work out
okay so that was key um but even more
importantly and again what a
blessing to become a global
account manager i serviced price water
house when they merged with cooper
librand so if you think
about it now they're they're all part of
the this big four whatever
they are big three now but it
was two seventy five thousand person
firms merging so they had
locations in 152 countries
so i'm the global account manager for
that account that was the
auditor did the books for cisco
so here i am this guy i get this job
where i'm flying around the
world i have a global gateway
account manager somebody that knew the
language somebody that
knew what's the right word the
traditions and etiquette so i wouldn't
you know what i mean oh so
you're saying as you went to
different countries you had a companion
or a correct kind of a
consultant to say okay make
sure to bow take your shoes off here like
a cultural a culture and
they called them global
gateway because it was one for europe
there was one for asia there was it was
so i mean think about
i'm able and here i am and that person
loves it because here i am
i'm whatever and here's what's
the greatest thing about it so this is
from my standpoint why i was
so fortunate as well because
financially that was great but because we
sold to them millions and
millions and because they
did cisco's books it had to be i learned
how to you ethical ethics where
everything in john chambers
would come into the street and do our
numbers every quarter and i
got to sit in the back room
when he was going to different accounts
and help you sell so and i
don't want to make more than
that it is but for several years that man
would come in every quarter
and most of the times he'd
say oh let's go visit metlife let's go
visit equitable and why
it's interesting because
i've never known that you um but you've
always spoken highly of
him and how you're just like
love him yeah like you've always spoken
highly of him i've been an
admirer of his as as sort of
the client side because to your point
this guy blew up tech right he changed
the world in terms of
uh just how the world works and and you
asked what how would you describe cisco
i would say it's slightly different from
the client side they
made the internet work the
internet does not work without cisco's
routers and switches and
now it's their telemetry you
know voice stuff they got rid of the pots
line for the most part
other you know there's other
players there but cisco would have bought
them and and made it
better and blew it up but that
explains to me now why you're such a
you're why you're such a fan of his why
you look up to him so
much he would come in you're on these big
multi-million dollar
accounts right strategic accounts
global accounts he rolls in jd let's go
do this and you're kind of
he's your he's helping you
make it happen well honestly he had
people and yes he would know
my name but realistically um
there was a because it was growing so big
everything was
orchestrated properly and he'd come
everything was set but yeah we you know
he'd go see accounts that i
had or again you needed to
you he was all why like john chamber so
much he was a good man he
was a good man and he put
good people around and you know we were
all talking about how the
internet blew up yesterday
with that that couple yeah you know what
i mean oh my god you know
what i mean that would never
happen in a john chamber yeah i mean
think about cold play you've seen it
right so i see stuff
about a week before brian's sometimes i'm
like have you seen it yet
you know that that one hit
the press oh exactly she's the head of hr
yeah i mean could it get
any worse no i mean i think
the problem's not hers she's no no but
i'm yeah i oh trust me but
it blows up families it does
no it's terrible his wife had his last
name off her socials that
morning yeah i mean and you can't
do anything anymore by the way that's the
other thing and that's
where it things have really
well now what's funny is um they've been
i've seen on social media
different like um morgan wallen
and um different musicians that are
playing live right now the last few
nights and they'll say okay
our camera's gonna go around so if you're
here with your secretary
separate that's crazy and
they're giving more like hope every and
then there's people at
like baseball games and men
have signs that say this is my wife this
is my wife my sister so
don't know that's great
sister you know it's no but you're right
so because you've been
there from the very start
and um have gone along the journey of
technology as it's grown um
from the aspect of a sales
and sales yeah um and you continue i
assume to go on this journey and i i'm
assuming it continues
to challenge you and um you're always
you're kind of always at a little bit of
a learning curve every
correct how how would you would you say
that that has helped you
stay young at heart and
young in your mind because you're always
kind of plugged into what's
going on absolutely and that
it's it's helped you feel still connected
with um the present day of what's
happening absolutely
yeah because you probably have to know
just i wouldn't say as much
as like brian's and it he's
technical but you probably do have to
know almost as much in order
to be able to sell it right
like you can't fix it if it breaks
necessarily but you need to be able to
know a lot about what
you're selling yes i have good people
around me so i can't really
tell you that i'd be that guy
that knows all yeah what's behind it but
you know what and and you know brian
chime in if you if you
because that'd be good to know but i like
to think that you know
when you appreciate people
that are buying from you and when you
have this relationship
with them where it's mutually
respectful even though i'm selling to
them it makes for this
partnership that you really want
your client to win and of course you will
as a salesperson or the
company you're working for
because you're doing quality work so i've
always just wanted to
provide a very good experience
that goes long term because then you get
relationships with people you're spending
a lot of time with folks that aren't your
family you're after hours
and things that are enjoyable
but at the same time you know i still
understand my role as a
salesman and um i look at that as
bringing the right resources and making
sure my client's good i do
that more like a quarterback
than the technical side because honestly
why i went to college on
the marketing side and why
was that door is he i i'm not that guy
that can sit there and go
yeah you know this nanobite that
talks to that and i do kind of understand
a lot of way that works
because over time but i'm just
like where's my engineer okay yeah yeah
yeah a lot of people don't
there's a lot of salesmen
they're a lot more technical yeah for
sure but you're probably more
knowledgeable than you realize
i think so because i have adapted to like
you said changing
technologies and i'm and i see a
lot of people my age that you know not
they fear it but they don't utilize it
yeah but i mean i love
a lot of things the video and audio on
this phone and the pictures
i'm capturing of the family and
these things and how to message them or
it's fantastically
powerful when you really think
about it so i won't be great about behind
the scenes but i do
understand to your point so as
far as sales um you just described a lot
of the reasons why you
enjoy it um as far as the
relationship with your clients and um and
that you're coming with
good intentions you're you know
you're selling them something that's
going to truly help them correct you're
not just selling to sell
you're selling you have a meaning behind
what you're selling there's meaning
behind it selfishly too
of course because you know what it does
if you do well yeah of course
it helps of course the family
but but you're selling with integrity and
you know what i wouldn't
be as hopefully as good if
there wasn't passion behind what you're
doing yeah yeah
absolutely and i do see what you're
saying because some people it's just a
job i yeah i look at it
different now i work for a person
that i worked with at cisco who's just a
wonderful man and built a
great company um so there's that
again respect relationship and delivering
to your client good stuff so
it kind of feels like been a
win-win to your point there's there's
components of that that need to be done
right so yeah it has i
mean there's some authenticity to it
absolutely and you're proud
you're proud of the business
you're proud of what you're doing and
that probably has contributed
significantly to your success
because people can see through it if it's
not that way so you know
so is there also though for
yourself personally um do you enjoy that
hit of making the sale
totally yeah do you like to gamble
no okay that's so interesting because um
our older son is a salesman
and he likes to gamble not in a
bad way he doesn't have a problem but he
likes to go with his friends
the casino and stuff and um
my father gamble my great grandfather my
grandfather and i
think one of the reasons he
enjoys sales is because that hit is
similar to when you hit when you're
gambling yeah yeah so i
wondered yeah i've wondered if salesmen
in general like to also gamble because
it's like the same hit
i've always wondered that and you've been
doing it for so many years
so i didn't know if you if you
or if you've known other sales guys that
like to gamble not as a
problem just for fun no i
understand your point yeah i think people
find different you know
entertainment that's that's
all good i always looked at it that you
work too hard to to risk
that right you know what i mean
yeah i like the environment being around
but now i'm in and it might
be also that i don't sit still
real good like play board games with
family members or things
that are great to see i'm
moving so you're so have you always been
like that since you're a
little kid yeah okay yeah so
sports was good for you great for me okay
and yeah sales would be
like that right because it's
that next chase that next thing that next
thing got back to when you
asked that question did you
know what you're going to be no but yeah
yeah you knew you had to
do something you're hustling
exactly and you are you an extrovert yeah
yeah like you enjoy
meeting new people and talking to
them oh yeah no matter where you are no
matter where yeah so you
have all the components i do and
i've learned too because like i said i've
been very fortunate uh my
wife's family's dynamite
there's a bunch of successful people in
there and i saw how they've interacted
with people i've been
able as i told you to travel and see how
they interacted with people
so i hope that we're doing
that right but yeah i'm definitely out
there jumping around and
so when you're in greeting
okay when you were traveling um around
the globe uh for work what
countries like what would you say
were your top countries i love to
reminisce on it because once i get closer
to retirement i want to
do more i was so lucky um that i was the
guy that when you had
meetings there was always be like a
thursday friday and a next wednesday
right you got these certain
people who'd come in and out
god bless them i get it i wasn't that guy
i was i'm gonna do the
right thing but at the same time
i'm gonna see i'm here yeah and then you
know a lot of the times
because we had great my wife's
family in particular you know would help
us with the kids my wife
would join us on the tail end
and that was wonderful she loved to
travel we love to travel
together but i'd have to say
europe has always just been phenomenal
you know i love my you
know experiences in asia but
i love the feel of history in italy and
france i love the comfort of
speaking english in england
not that a lot of other countries don't
because a lot of them do
but i just love that for some
reason so europe was where i felt most i
loved that but um seeing
the other cultures was was
great because it really made me feel that
much more boy we're a
great country we have
even though there's there's bumps and uh
it was interesting even
all those years ago to hear
people what they thought of as good and
bad there was still like you know what
you guys are you guys
are something so did you feel that um
like because it feels like now
there's a lot of america hate
america stuff outside of america but when
you were traveling you're
saying that um you encountered
more pro-american yeah but there was also
negative if you guys
remember that show like dallas
yeah okay yeah so you know these things
they play these things like
that but like if you go to a
perisian restaurant right and you know i
can remember walking
because i forgot what a city um
people would snap their fingers for a
waiter and you never do that
in paris and you knew they were
and it just means you're not being or and
the reason i bring dallas
because you know they'd be
sitting there and you know you'd have
your boots up on the table yeah there's
certain things etiquette
wise you just don't do so i think they
think that there was some
of that and because we were
for lack of a better word but top dog you
know a lot of you know
what i mean people would look
for that but i think there was also a lot
of respect and
especially if you handled yourself
properly and like i said i was so
fortunate to be able to have a gateway
account manager and be like
listen you're right you know you wait
you're turning if you're
going to sit there and show
them that you you want the bill real
quick you're going to wait
longer yeah so you know it's cool
yeah greatest country where i would i
love italy i think
italy is to catch me out of
countries and i'd like to gift yeah did
you go so you did europe you
did asia did you go to china
i didn't i was never able to go to china
i didn't get to japan want
to do that but a lot you know
vietnam and thailand and hong kong
australia was a trip whoa god i love
those people i've always
wanted to go to australia oh you guys on
my list yeah we need to do
that i really want to go to
australia you know and you know it's well
what a country you know i
obviously once you start getting
on the what do you call that the western
side or you know how sydney
and is the coast you're out
on the thick side yeah the stick is done
much so i didn't do that
per se but i mean there's some
crazy nature but i mean oh my god talk
about just beautiful environment and
people that just seem to
get how to enjoy yeah done right because
they're also successful at
what they do so yeah that was
that was right up there too and you know
it's an english speaking
and again not knowing other
languages and god i wish that's one of
the regrets i have i wish i
learned yeah languages because i
think there's power in that oh absolutely
but again going there and
being comfortable because
again there's people in different
countries france is a great example
unless you've got the right
thing they don't they really don't want
to help you out unless
you're you know making some effort
which is yeah you can you can get by in
france with just english i
found you can i've been in
hong kong and even china you can get by
with english yeah now
there's tools that can help
you but i mean like if you're that person
that is being kind of abrupt or rude yeah
you can't be an asshole a cab driver yeah
he's gonna act like i
don't understand you at least
that's my experience yes so yeah i just
think again it's just be
yeah approach it properly and
and you know be respectful because you
are in somebody else's
country absolutely yeah did you
ever go to south america um you know
latin america that's about it that's
about it i have not made it
we didn't do a lot of business down there
for some reason and it seemed
like i was traveling on behalf
of price waterhouse cooper for systo and
they were much larger in
europe and asia what about africa
never never that that'd be a dream too so
how many years did you do this traveling
it's a long time it was wonderful wow
that is so cool so when
okay so you you we covered your
when you graduated and you worked but
when in there did you meet
your wife i have one question
because i'm i'm real curious on that
front too but in terms of
the the sales approach you're
you started young right out of college
correct and what do you
think's changed for you over that
time and i think what i was thinking is
she was asking you about
your technical you know you are
you technical can you do it have you
always had the same approach
or when did it maybe kick off
evolve to where you're really more client
relationship management more so than i'm
going to sell you something right it's
never i've got this product i
want you to buy it it's more
like how can i help what problems do you
have what solutions can
i bring you right i think
that's more your approach how long did it
take before you got there would you say
great question because
this will help your boy okay
okay being a relationship person i want to
hang out with them they
want to hang out with me
so if you have a connection that hey
whether it's you're going out you're
taking them out or you're
golfing or you know and again there's
certain people that don't
you don't have to have that
kind of relationship but whatever that is
if you find a tie that finds you're
already at bat you're
already on first second base yep so i was
always that guy was in play
yeah i'd hang out with people
and play i'm not saying we were better
than anybody you know
probably thought we were
but the net of it is is we just were it
was great to meet people and
it was great to kind of connect
yeah so that's first and then second to
your point over time brian
you realize that only takes you
so far it can be a door opener the
company you work for can be a
door opener but the reality is
what's my value to them yeah and that did
take some time but i
think that if what i know now
i wish i would have known then was
understanding like you said take the time
to understand what's
important to your client and you know
before i would be you know
i'm not taking the time to read
somebody's financial things and
understanding where they're going and
realistically that's
powerful especially children nowadays or
excuse me young adults
there's so much information out
you can google things and find it oh by
the way i hear you got this
initiative i never knew those
kind of things yeah so the value
proposition is key but i
also think where you really get
good at it because no matter how good
your company is or no matter how it never
seems to rain you're
going to run into situations where you
know your company or you or
it was an act of god where good
things didn't happen how you handle it
then it's more
important than how you handle it
when everything's going great yeah i
think that's a it's actually a great
point even in the non sales
world right how you deal with adversity
and treat the people around you during
those weird times or
just how you handle it really starts to
define you then more so than
when things are good no doubt
about it yeah that's a great point so how
much would you say
self-awareness comes into plays
salesman a lot more than i gave it credit
for and great that you
bring that up because that's
probably a weakness of mine i kept going
without evaluating it
naturally happened that i think i
got better at what i did but the
self-awareness i didn't take time to to
really go down that path
you know i would listen to people who'd
mentor and give me help but um i just
seem to be moving on
and i think that's a good thing to think
about is that you're not really
evaluating unless it was
you know obviously critical or something
like that but that's a it's it's good to
think that you could
get yourself in a better place by doing
more of that but and then how
much would you say um delusion
helps and when i say that i mean fake it
till you make it like just believe in
yourself and um just
and delusion almost because if you're too
self-aware you can get
analysis paralysis where you um
you're like i can't do it you know or you
think to overthink it
but then if you um are too
delusional then you're not going to
you're not authentic anymore
would you say that's accurate
like that balance of the two i think
you're yeah does that make
sense it does and you know i have
again really thought too much about it
but since we're talking about it you're
making a really good
point because if you think about that
that balance would make
for a very good rep somebody
that's willing to put themselves in play
somebody evaluating
themselves to be smart and then you
know what's interesting about it you can
be lucky a lot too i got
lucky inheriting account that was
one of the biggest accounting firms or
what do they call them
consulting firms at that time and
then being able to work with a company
leader so there's a lot of
luck and luck you can put
um and that happens but it's probably a
very good mix of that i'd
never looked at it that way as
much and i probably could because i
really do i always look at
myself and i think it was a good
sales rep but not a great rep and it's
not because i'm not a really good guy and
i care because i'm a
good quarterback but never took the time
to keep how am i working day
to day to get better the guy
that's a leader but also a very good
family friend he's good at you know
what's your pre-call
planning did you sit there afterwards and
then send that follow-up
email and those ones that do it
are good because they're taking the time
before and after to really
spend some time looking at
what they just did instead of moving on
to next so i always moved on to next
somewhat successfully
rather successfully but the hitters would
do the mix of the three
things that you just said
the other thing too though where you're
going as well as that's an
entrepreneurial trait of
i'm gonna go sell it and and if i get it
and i land it and it's like
oh wow all right it happened
now let's make it happen so they're
willing to fake it a
little bit right i'm bigger than
i'm gonna let you think i'm bigger than i
really am and if you bite
i'm gonna make sure i make it
that's that makes sense because if you
don't then you know then
you're not dead yeah because there
is risk in that but but there's probably
a bigger upside quite frankly and you
can't hesitate because
then you create doubt with your client
right and you're you have to
you have to at least appear you
believe 100 percent in what you're
selling without hesitation i'd be that
guy that couldn't work for
a company that wasn't you gotta deliver
you know there's you know it
there's no question you want a
product of good service being delivered
and you know don't don't
compromise you know what i mean
yeah you know because there are good
companies and you want to
be with the good company
that makes good parts but also a great
culture and then you you
know then your life's that much
more enjoyable for sure yeah because
would you say that um for a
salesman that wants to be truly
successful they need to be working for a
company they believe in and that they
enjoy and if they're
working for a company that they're
miserable at or they're
not satisfied it's going to
affect their growth as a sales
salesperson absolutely but
i think it also bleeds into
other areas that may be more important if
you're not happy how does
that help your health if you're
not happy how does that help your
relationship with your your spouse yeah
how does that help you with
your kids so i think there's a it's it's
you know it's a whole
package deal type of thing from my
perspective i think you need to be
healthy i think you need to be challenged
i think you need to be
you know and all those kind of things and
it's not saying that's easy
but you know i don't want to be
in a culture where they're not paying it
forward you know what i mean
yeah yeah and i'm not saying
you have to be you know unicef or
behaving around anymore i think so but
you get what i'm trying to
say yeah i absolutely do yeah i just you
know i want our company
they pay it forward they do
so in your experience i'm sure you've
come across a lot of different sales
people have you encountered
sales people that their whole world is
falling apart personally
but they're still out there
grinding and and you think that what's
going on personally has
affected them professionally
absolutely but really definitely but also
the other way around in what way that
you're saying they're still grinding i
think that kind of caused it do you know
what i mean in other
words it's self that's self-fulfilling
it's self-fulfilling you know i mean get
yourself i mean why is that
happening you know what i mean yeah but
but but yeah absolutely yeah
you know i have this kind of
personality probably addictive to be
quite honest that served me well and also
created some challenges
so i'll see the reason i bring that up is
because you'll see sales
reps that you know they're not
doing the right things you know uh eating
too much drinking too much
staying out too much putting
their selves in situations that aren't
healthy and i understand
you learn with age how to make
better decisions but the net of it is the
ones that make bad
decision those categories it goes
right down the path you talk about
they're not healthy they're
not happy they may be working
fine and stuff like that but boy i don't
know how that yeah you may
be wired and that's okay but i
don't see a lot of that i see a lot of
people trying to do the
right thing and you know trying
to and there are some more driven and
there's reasons for but you
can tell if someone's going
to be you know what i mean if they
they're not handling things
right and it looks like it's
they're going to hit a wall or something
like that is it a hard thing
to fight where if especially
if you're traveling and so you're meeting
new people you're out to
dinners you're doing all
fun things is it can it be hard for
certain people do you
think to then have to downshift
when they're home and just slow down a
little bit because
you're always on you're always
you know talking to people there's always
new and exciting um stimuli coming at you
and then when you get home to your family
when people people who
sell come home to their family
they're living the more monotonous
day-to-day life do you think that can be
hard for some sales people
that transition absolutely absolutely do
you think sometimes then they end up
taking on more work and being gone more
because that's easier than being home
imagine so um that kind of gets back to
how do you handle that
relationship at home how is your
relationship with your spouse are you
doing the right thing to make
sure that that person's needs
are being met yeah and then the kid so
you got to make sure you
figure that all right because
you don't want it to go down a path where
it doesn't work out
because of it but certainly
i think you're 100 right that that could
go down that path yeah
just because you're right
you got to be on but if you think about
nowadays right like um i
think you were talking the other
day about you know technical problems and
you had to be on phone calls
for whatever so even though
you're working for home that's a that's a
tough thing and the next
day you're shot because you
were on calls so there's a mixed bag of
that so you got to get both
right whether you know it's
good that you can be remote it's good if
you're going in you're good
you find the balance but the
net of it is you got to be able to be
find that balance so that
you're healthy yeah right you do
that through your sports or you know
whatever you're doing your cold plunge
your yoga yeah you know
taking the wife out your your
relationship with friends and finding a
good balance because you're
right there is a heavy load and you know
what i mean i you know i was
so happy my wife was able to
stay at home until the kids left high
school and raise the kids she did
phenomenal on and that you
know i've definitely felt pressure to
produce yeah yeah i think it did create
some issues absolutely
yeah absolutely yeah it's a valid point
yeah because it's such
a delicate balance and
especially if you have one spouse who i
remember when he traveled there's you
didn't do this again
he called me from a drud from like a bar
to tell me how wonderful everything is
and our kids were like three three and
six and i'm making mac
and cheese and have to give
baths and everyone's screaming and i
think your dad actually
said don't ever do that again
that's not what you do but i think it can
be it can be where you
have there has to be an
understanding there has to be good
communication because you
have one spouse that is out there
supporting the family and then the other
spouse is holding down the
home front raising the family
doing all the things so that the spouse
that's leaving can go leave
and not worry about the home
front which is priceless um totally but
that spouse that's gone is living a
little bit more of a
you know a fun existence there's no
question you know and so
there has to be that i'm sure
in your marriage you had to find that
balance it's not like you came home we're
like guess what i did
created some issues you're you're right
yeah that's why it ended
up being great when my wife
was able to come yes and you know quite
honestly at least from my
perspective her job is so much
more important than mine i mean raising
those kids just the same way you did
right yeah you know what
i mean yeah and i don't want to speak for
you but from my perspective hugely
outweighs what i did i
understand making the money and all that
stuff and all the things
behind it but i like what what i
saw was happening with my children so
well it goes together it's a partnership
right absolutely and
the communication i think is 100 key but
i always say he laughs but i always do
say that um you know
i i was able to it was a privilege for me
to stay home because brian
was able to provide that but
it was a privilege for him to be able to
just go and build his career
without one single worry about
the house or the kids or anything he
didn't even have to
give it a second thought
so we both were privileged from our
partnership and not that it was easy
we're going on 31 years
this september um there's been ups and
downs marriages ups and
downs and there's bad days
bad weeks bad months whatever but i think
that communication but
especially in your situation
where there's somebody traveling i think
it can create um extra challenges in
marriage and marriage
in general can be hard so that
communication is is so important you know
by the way you're right it
did yeah yeah it absolutely did yeah we
managed through it and
we'll be married 37 years in wow
or 38 in september you better figure out
which one yeah well 1987 so
what does that mean that's 38
i'm not math i'm not math it's gonna be
38 that's amazing when in
september um 26 oh we're the 17th
okay cool yeah i do have a question i
think it's a perfect segue
i want to get into how you
meant your wife yeah yeah yeah that was
gonna be my next question uh
two comments one comment one
question that bar madrid was amazing it's
like a 200 or 300 year old i knew you
were gonna come back
to that amazing it's like i think it was
three or four stories hi it
was amazing it's a beautiful
country oh it's oh my god you're up here
it is a gift that was his favorite yeah
yeah uh the question
i have it's interesting i was talking to
someone who's about your
age actually guy i worked with
the other day just talking about sort of
that enlightenment that we
go through i feel like you
know this podcast has probably helped me
um learn some things you know just
talking like this meeting
incredible people and talking about you
know like your life story and all this
when did do you have
a point where you remember where maybe a
life went off and you had
some sense of like it may be an
epiphany or the realization of just
understood things a little bit better
things started to fall
into place was that your early 50s and if
that doesn't make sense i
could try to clarify but
you mean personally yeah personally where
you were just wisdom is
the word i'm looking for
where you kind of felt like okay i kind
of got this i understand
what i should do i understand
that i didn't do that it does that make
sense and would you recall
a moment in life when there
that clicked for you i understand the
question i can't say a moment
in life but but to put color
around that certain things are important
i knew that they were
going along the right path
like the raising of the kids even like
you said calling from i mean
i must have probably done that
you know and it's so funny because you
tend to forget but i can
remember my wife man you know
we didn't have help like her parents when
we moved down here were
here and they were the greatest
for the kids charsey was with the kids
alone so i can't say anyone
but i mean it just seemed like
over time there was just these i started
feeling that you know not
making as many mistakes grew up
a little bit yeah yeah you know mistakes
can be painful you know
what i mean and who wants that
you know and i feel i got a lot of breaks
and then you start going man
you don't want to be on the
side of you know yeah yeah yeah i wonder
sometimes is there a
moment for men when they're in a
marriage when they really kind of look
around and think i am so lucky like i am
so lucky that i have
this marriage and these children but that
you start to see people
that are divorcing or things
are falling apart and you take stock in
what you have is that kind of
what you're talking about yeah
i feel like i'm in that and i've been in
it for a little while and i'm just
curious because it's
not saying it's a new thing i've always
been a pretty conscious
person but i've also had the
ability to be a jerk and just let it you
know call from a pub in madrid at three
in the morning and say
how warm the throat right so yeah i
wouldn't do that again i
know not from that but just
i don't know you yeah you grow up you get
a little more conscious
a little more awareness
type of thing you know i'll add this
brine since having grandkids and now
you're looking at it
from a different perspective and it's
mind-blowing you're gonna love it you've
had the three kids and if you're
i've never seen my wife i mean we of
course happy we enjoyed the
kids so much now more than ever
i was the officiant of my son's marriage
yeah that's amazing and you
know my daughter's getting
married in january oh i didn't know that
he's marrying um his name
eric katz he's a great guy
and his father ron katz and i are going
to be the officiants at my daughter's
wedding so i feel so
connected and in that way yeah you know
what i mean yeah no
that's a whole nother face it's
a whole nother face so now that my kids
have got older and you start
understanding that you know
you did a lot of the right things yeah
and now i've got these
grandkids and i'm like i got this
and my kids and because you had made a
point and wanted no one of
your podcasts i was listening to
and you were talking about not putting
yourself front and center
with with you know your kids
kids and you're yeah you were talking and
i got my wife and i played
that i played it so well but
these beautiful babies and how two of
them but hey how can we help
let us know because we're only
10 minutes away if that yeah yeah
naturally involved in this
thing where oh my god we we love
our son but our daughter-in-law is
amazing and we help each other we try not
to to overstep and if
so just communicate but honestly it
hasn't been that way it just
kind of has worked so it's you
know a mutual respect but at the same
time you know i wouldn't have ever taken
the approach and just
jumped and forced ourselves on it right
no right but you'd be
amazing how many people
amazed at how many people do yeah you
know and then there's a lot of they
suffer the consequences
i want that no no no so actually um what
advice would you give to
people whose children adult
children have not gotten married yet what
advice would you give to
parents on how to be a good
in-law to their future spouse
take it slow right because you don't know
that person well you may
think you do you may have a
lot of experiences but take it slow
because you really want to learn about
that person over time
some trips with them so maybe one-on-ones
or some whatever it may
be naturally that evolves
learn more about them and then slowly but
surely how can you be
helpful how can you be kind
how can you make it a better day so that
the relationship just
blossoms in a good way
doesn't mean there won't be bumps because
there absolutely will be
humans that you know aren't
perfect but uh yeah take it slow learn it
learn a good bit don't put the cart
before the horse even
if you like these i can't think that you
know you want certain things
to happen but you can't make
them happen so be a great participant to
help it unfold in the
best for everybody involved
right yeah no that's wonderful advice and
respect their boundaries too right
totally yeah totally
yeah and how important would you say it
is to make them feel welcome
into the family from day one
key especially you know there's there's
people have issues that
they've grown up with we've all
had certain things some better than
others some worse than others but you
don't want to you know
they're there some people don't have
great parents and then all of a sudden
they're in this house
and it's brady bunches are you guys know
what the brady bunches oh
yeah okay yeah okay but you know
we're seeing like everything was pretty
cool yeah we grew up
watching the brady yeah yeah
senior things don't mean for a little but
for us um it was reruns
okay yeah yeah i thought that
ship was live uh maybe we're really
little like but no i think it stopped
okay but i thought when
they were in hawaii doing that like ski
jump competition i thought
that was live on a sunday
night maybe it was maybe it was the early
seasons that were reruns but no no i
think you're right i
think like we were there for maybe like
our age could remember live
but then the early ones were
black and white that's crazy yeah it's so
funny you remember that
but yeah but i mean how ideal
like you know just the music is great so
but a lot of you know and
i see this because again
some of the things that i do outside of
uh my direct family you see
these people aren't having
the luxury of two good parents doing the
right thing and being
there yeah you know what i mean
yeah you know i was telling you about
that eucharistic
ministry thing and it's such a
awesome thing to do it and i do it for
the sick and dying and
it's so interesting to hear
what they tell you as you're getting
older and getting ready to
move on and what's gonna blow
won't blow your mind but one of the main
things you'll hear is i
wish i spent more time with
family and they'll go i was just trying
to work really hard but
you know my daughter holds it
against me because i wasn't there so
there's regret on not being
there and again some of it's
selfish and you make your own bed but
some of it oh i just thought i was
working so hard so so
important and the other one this just
blows me away they'll go i
didn't speak to my brother for
years and the guy you know he's on his
deathbed he's just like why
did i let that happen so it
gets back to those family ties and it
gets back to getting over
those hurdles and just you know
making that work out because when you
can't change and it's getting to that
point yeah it's and it's
all those similar regrets it's like oh i
wish i made more money i
don't think that matters
at that point it's about you what your
kids are going to say
about you yeah and you're good
anyway not to keep going but it's so
interesting to hear go i wish i would
have well then do it
yeah so yeah and i've it's not the first
time i've heard that but at your
door you're directly involved here and so
hearing that is that's kind
of powerful because you hear
that you can read it and go on yahoo.com
or whatever and read
that but to hear it and you
see it firsthand that's probably way more
powerful i guess i've been
able to use it my friends got a
great friend that i love right to be
golfing where it's it's so
cool and may not be as close
to his brother there's some whatever he
was talking to me about
certain things and i said
have you really thought about that so i
learned from that gentleman
that said that to me about
why didn't i speak to my brother for 40
years yeah and you know
and that may be a little bit
dramatic example but the point being if
you can control and you
can be there you're not gonna
you're gonna feel good about how things
unfold as you age yeah and the
investment i think one of the
what you were referring to the video
maybe was also talking about um the
investment you put into your
children their childhood and being there
and present you get the
reward when they're adult
children and they give you access to
their life because it's
amazing how many access it's the
reward it's the reward right like our old
our our even our 15 year old
still will hang out with us
but our adult children want to hang out
with us and we're every time
we're like my daughter asked
me if i'd go to yoga tomorrow morning i'm
like yes of course my
favorite thing so it's our favorite
thing absolutely you guys were yeah you
you're very similar to my
and it's so important you got
to work and it doesn't mean everything's
perfect yeah but when you
think about that and you know
it kind of gets back to so important
whether it's a man or woman
that stay at home person i think
more important than you know especially
as times unfold and
there's so much pressure to earn
but man i'm glad my wife stayed home and
thank god let's go there let's
go how did you meet your wife
yes let's start there yes i've been
married 37 years i know
i've said hi to her before but
let's hear it okay when did you meet her
okay so um i guess like 85 86 so right
out of college right
her sister was uh ran the soccer team for
james madison so we'd share
fields and she was just this
beautiful cool girl did she go there oh
yeah she was she would play
soccer for james madison okay
my wife's sister yeah okay okay so we
were just great buddies
great buddies and our groups hung
out together and you know love her still
to this day they live near
us you know what i mean um
and we graduated i don't know i went up
to new york with my
buddies doing our thing and she's
like hey come down we're having a party
um you know where she lived
at the time you know where
where was that like i think it was
fairfax virginia okay yeah they're
virginia girls um and again
i'm at the party got a bunch of friends
life is good this beauty walks in the
house starts shaking
i think my dad said you guys the energy
changed at least for me and
having him excuse me have said
that i i knew something was different at
that point and then how
it unfolded so very quickly
we knew she was flying up to new york
shortly thereafter wow yeah
so it was instantaneous and
by the way you guys i'm sure for her as
it was for me i was popping
around soho Greenwich village
going into the city nick games taking
clients out to dinner on
cisco i wasn't looking for love to
yeah to get married yeah you really
wasn't we're ready to settle down i
wasn't ready to settle down
that could be a little bit of caused some
of the immaturity or
back to what caused some of
well how old were you when you got
married so 87 so i was 26 she was 25 yeah
you guys were young we
yeah yeah that's even i can't imagine but
yeah you're right it's
young we my first kid was born
when i was 30 so i felt good about that
because we were able to do
a bunch but i wasn't ready
i wasn't and by the way not mature enough
too because commitment
made a lot of sense but there
were other priorities and what they said
when they were reading vows
didn't make sense until you
go through it yeah yeah so it's true i we
always say we feel
like we grew up together
because we got married saying you're 20s
you grow so much in your 20s
you change your frontal lobe
doesn't even close to your 26 i think
that's true you know we got married
before our frontal lobes
well we were we were married had a kid we
had Nathan at 26 at a
young age and then had Kaya at
29 and then popped up with Dylan at 38
yeah i know i can still
remember that that's our bonus
but you'd love being a mom from the get
go from the get go so you
were that i wanted that in fact
we had a discussion before we got married
and i made it very clear
that i wanted to be a stay at
home mom because my childhood was total
chaos my parents divorced and married
other people divorced
and married again and i had step siblings
and half siblings and
moving it was just chaos and so
i wanted stability and i wanted to give
my children the
childhood i wanted i wanted to
make cookies and have them there when
they got home from school i
wanted the traditional 1950s
quote unquote norman Rockefeller yeah i
wanted it i wanted it and he
wanted that because he grew
up like that his mom was home till he
went to junior high um so
he had his parents were still
married um he had a very traditional
upbringing so we we were
like-minded and when we got married
23 we didn't have any money like we lived
in a house that was
probably literally the size of
not much bigger than this room not much
bigger than this room when we brought
Nathan home including
the kitchen yeah when he and we're not
exaggerating when he we brought Nathan
home his crib was like
here um like in in the there was a room
his crib was there so i
stayed home even then like i i went
we went without for me to stay home
because that's how important it was to
both of us i just couldn't
put him in daycare none of that so and
then we built the career
together and we had a pretty
mean independent streak too i think we
were living in Oregon at the time yeah we
we could have probably
chosen some easier routes but we were
pretty independent we
could have lived in Michigan or
Jersey near family and probably had more
help but we were doing it on
our own you know what though
you were madly in love yes you had a
child together yeah had
to be one of the best times
in your life right it was it was great
like especially Nathan
being born was i i don't even
know it was magical it's weird we were
kids raising kids and it
was like i don't know i feel
like my whole life is blessed since we've
had a family so to go back
and pick that as the best
time i don't know today was pretty
special i mean what a what an amazing
when you think about it
because you obviously weren't earning no
no no you lived in but my
point is how cool i can just
remember that just being with similar a
little little bit different but very
similar well i think
part of marriage is building the life
together so many younger generations i
think and i think a lot
of it has to do with social media and
comparing your life to others
so easily um but i think they
think they need to have the big house and
the cars and all the
things before they get married
and it's like no some of this is you
build it together there is
something about starting out
small and doing it that's the marriage
that's the foundation and um
that creates that strength and
those ups and downs and that adversity
and all that so it's i mean it's
wonderful once you get
all those things it's lovely there's
that's great and that's the goal but um
doing it together you
go i think you go through things that
keep you together you know
instead of just having it all
and then i don't know having it all there
can sometimes really
create yeah problems having a
lot of money not that that but i mean
yeah you live in an affluent
area i live in a fluent area
and a lot of the kids that have problems
they haven't been told to
do chores or haven't had
you know what i mean there's there's
there's issues never you have to have
that work ethic and you
have to have an appreciation for money
and the cost of things it
doesn't and that and earn it
because then you um you enjoy it but if
you're just giving
things then you really never
understand how to be happy about
something you know what i mean i do i do
and that that's great
because that kind of levels things out if
you think about it you
don't want to always struggle
but at the same time yeah you just want
it to work but you do
want that appreciation
yeah you want your kids to be good you
want to be good you know
again we were down to earth yeah
absolutely and real when uh so you guys
got together well
you're going to the party you
went to the party he met her and then she
came up yeah came up did
she move up uh we're shortly
and then did you guys live together yeah
and then from how long
was it from the time you
met who got married less than two years
not even it happened quick
and her family was from um
northern virginia okay but what's wild
and this is why it worked
out again so fortunate when you
think about it so that now we had two
kids little ones in new york i'm living
out on the north shore
it's a great friends and still to this
day wonderful but i'm
going into new york city
going back and new york is lovely it is
is not having been a
grind man it's a grind so
her dad her stepdad really just
phenomenal man anyway was very
intelligent i had a company
that built uh intelligence and cockpits
during the reagan era so he
software did different things
so that these cockpits had intelligence
um sold the company did
very well and moved to of all
things cape coral to start got into real
estate eventually moved his
way down into fort myers and
so here we are after x amount of years in
new york and we're ready
and he's like come on down
and cisco was like i don't care where you
live it was meant that's
great yeah so i went from
that wonderful experience but burning out
as you said it was i was
you know what i mean the rat
race was and you were in there during the
julianna years right i was
so that's when new york was
wonderful yeah because i would yeah
started with the rainbow
coalition with david dinkins that
administration was not a good one in my
opinion no disrespect but
julianna came in and cleaned
things up and it was nice and i'll tell
you there's you know it was
great i still go back and forth
and we would go in we bring the kids i
would go with the kids by
myself i think the toys are us
and that whole times where it was
different there was things you could do
with kids then absolutely
you can't say it's changed for the better
as of now late so that's a
shame it is it breaks my heart
it'll it'll be a circle though because
when i was a kid we'd go
into the city and it was
70s there were hookers on the street guys
selling drugs squeegee
guys it was fun being in high
school doing that but then i went to
college came back and
julianna you had taken over and
it was like disney so we're back to that
squeegee mode right now i'm
hoping no i don't know it's a
little crazy there right now i'm hoping
it'll sort itself out well
it doesn't certainly sound
like what's going on in the the potential
mayor uh anyway you just
want safety right you want to
be able to you know take your kids into
the city and experience
great and not that you kill stamp
but you gotta admit you better be you
better be smart about it
right were you were you there then
for 9 11 or had you moved south move a
year before okay cool
terrible yeah it's horrible
we were so glad to to move and we still
go back once a year twice a year
dependent upon we got
some good friends but living in napells
the last 25 years has been
nothing but but beautiful it's
gotten too busy yeah since the pandemic
everywhere in florida right
so everywhere in florida yeah
but but again roke before you guys got
married like how i said
brian and i had that talk about
how we envision raising children and then
i'd be home and he'd work
did you and your wife have
a discussion about roles or how you saw
each of you playing out
your role in the marriage
no and would you say that um that was
needed or you should have or
did you got did just happen
naturally for you guys happened naturally
but i think if that
discussion was had it would probably
been a little bit better and the only
reason i say that is she worked for city
corps at the time city
and she was she did well she did well and
she wanted kids but you
know everything changes the
moment you have a kid and then like i
said i wasn't you know a
couple miles down the street
right so you know for it worked so i
think that was a difficult
change but she just loved being
a mom so that all worked out but that
discussion probably would have been more
prudent we just fell
in love and so let's go would you say
that that's pretty
common in your generation that
just to go for it and not have those that
the communicating
beforehand about those things
wasn't discussed as much maybe i think so
i think you're probably
right i don't know as much about
others but i do think it's probably
that's real because if not
people would talk about it more
now like you know what i mean yeah yeah
you know yeah you know it
makes so when did you become a
communicator because you probably weren't
in the beginning right when
did you in his marriage in
his marriage yeah yeah probably she was a
better listener i talked
too much so i always thought i
was a good communicator brian yeah but
but um i think we had that
we always loved each other
immensely and we always thought that you
know you could always work
through things but again i think
we could have been me in particular more
intelligent about some of the choices
that i made you know i
was loving life you know just doing
things and putting it out there and at
some point especially
you know you can't come in late from the
city you know but did you i
think you've alluded to that
you've got did you go through that phase
where your your wife's home
with the kids you're in the city
doing a nice sales job yeah taking people
out entertaining clients in
the best city in the world
yep at the time for sure right you're
going to nyx games probably there were
probably some hot clubs
like studio 54 i don't know limelight was
it so what's the deal
there like what was that phase
like for you what what were you guys what
were you up to it was
wonderful and a lot of times she
participated but it was the 80s 90s and a
lot of bad stuff happened
with drugs yeah yeah yeah the
coke years and you know i got caught up
in it a little bit and it
was tough because you know i
have an addictive personality so that
that is something i look
back on it not proud of but you
know it is what it is what it is yeah but
got through it thankfully
things went good but point is
you guys there'd be friday afternoons
you're on wall street street closes
they've run out the bar
restaurants and you'd go down there and
i'm on that relationship
guy they'd like to meet
they'd have a room in the restaurant's a
party room yeah yeah do
you remember that kind of i
mean well the seaport area right that
wall street's the seaport kind of area
that party's there it's
that i used to go in there as a kid we
brought her there yeah
brought the kids there we'd get on
the seaport so cool all those restaurants
all those bars it's a
fun place to be yeah yeah i
just wish that that was the little
different times because you
can't call you know especially
or even if you're drinking too much and
you got to go back two
hours you know you're not in the
healthiest of environments and i'm not
boo-hooing about it but i mean those
choices if you look back
i would now go a lot better and i think
that i shared that
with my children and they
made better choices back to you talk
about my father's
generation and mother's great parents
they never told me a thing about it yeah
and i would have been the
guy that had been good to
tell about it yeah you know what i mean
about hey you know
getting a girl pregnant or the
the the i never had those discussions you
guys i don't i think that's their
generation there was
it was and even in your generation like
you guys i i think you
talking to your kids about this
that's probably kind of unusual for your
generation because i don't
think your generation really
talked gen x is really the first
generation where we're like we're talking
about it all because no
one talked to us about anything you know
like our parents his parents
didn't talk well you had silent
generation and boomer maybe they both
were silent generation i had
boomer in our situation our
parents talked to us about money about
getting a girl pregnant
about anything menopause like
you know anything that's coming up so we
went in blind so now
we're all making it a point
let's talk so with our kids we're like
we're gonna talk about it all even if
it's uncomfortable or
even if just so that we're a resource for
you so i think but i you
doing that with you your kids i
think that was um you were progressive
for your generation i think
that you did that because i
don't think a lot did yeah i'm glad to
hear that because i think a lot of it
stemmed out of i don't
want them because i feel so lucky that
some things that could have gone bad
didn't and sometimes bad
things happen to very good people yeah
yeah so i didn't you know if you can
limit that potential
possibility i mean think about now with
the drugs like the fentanyl they're
talking you imagine these
wonderful young kids make one mistake one
mistake it happens so one to
one of our son's friends and
it was one you know i can't imagine and i
would it just it's beyond
me to think that because i
tell you how many mistakes have been made
by me my friends you think
you're just smoking a joint but
it's laced with fentanyl now all of a
sudden you're phoning at the mouth dying
that's fucked up that's
crazy tougher time so we've talked i've
talked to dylan about you can't take
anything from anyone
because it could have i say anything
candy anything you're
right you can't you know i mean
the conversations we've had with him
about that i never even had
with nathan and kaya that i'm
having to have with him it's it's crazy
it's mind-blowing honestly
the topics you have to cover
nowadays and maybe it's it's always been
that way and we to your
point we're a generation that
talks about it but it's crazy our parents
didn't talk to us and now
we're the the depths we go to
it to cover everything that's not safe
you guys that's no it's
that's the problem and you you
know doesn't mean it's not here or where
i'm in but i'm saying
anybody could make that mistake
and now you're paying with your life and
it's just not right so we
have to address this as a
society and fix it because that's not
fair to them even if they
made a mistake because haven't
we all made we've all we've all made
mistakes you should have a space to make
mistakes you should not
have it be life generally that's the way
life seemed to have been
and you know a safe space to
to make those mistakes i guess i have a
question um so i have to do this
sometimes i have a question
because she's ready to roll um in talking
to your kids was that
driven by you and your wife say
together or more her because ours was
definitely driven more by nicole right
she's the the better
parent but how would that what about your
dynamics i guess mutual
yeah you know it's interesting
and again so cool that it happened this
way but my son and i've
been like this from the get-go
it's just been that way still are um my
wife and my daughter best
friends they just had their
bachelorette party for my daughter out in
colorado outside of denver
last week and a weekend ago and
12 wonderful girls flew into for my
daughter and they invited my wife that's
wonderful so when you
have those kind of you know that's the
reward yeah i stayed at my
son's house and helped with
two kids and it was the greatest few days
to see this so i take that
so oh but i think that comes
from the hard work that yeah you all did
and again just like you said
about nicole i agree sure she's
probably she's better parent she's
definitely smarter yeah but
you know i think i might be
more fun to be honest with you yeah and i
think that's the mix but
yeah that i credit her so much
because these kids turned out well but i
did my part there's no
question yeah but she was in it
day one and they talked to her yeah they
talked to her and they
allowed that they'd invite us to
school they invite my i'm telling you
yeah my son i was responsible for him
staying an extra year at
university of central florida i loved
everything about his college
my wife and i'd go up they'd
ourselves front and center whatever thing
but but you're in orlando yeah
what a boy i loved it i bummed
out when he graduated yeah i swear to god
i can relate my i would
i'd go up to my son's frat
parties for dad's weekend oh yeah so he
had a reputation in the
frat is that the greatest
so you can get that you did something
right doesn't know yeah
but but that but that's not
again it's earned it's earned from the
time 100 yeah and you
guys had a partnership you
worked together all those years raising
your children um as far as
becoming a parent i always
say that that's an emotion that you don't
have until that baby's
born and then it's a love
you didn't know it existed and then it
changes you forever and
it just changes the whole
trajectory of everything hundred percent
and it's the greatest thing
ever and the hardest and the
hardest because it takes so much effort
and time to do it right i
think but it's so rewarding you
know what absolutely if you don't you
never know yeah i got good news for you
nicole great news for
you it's better being a grandpa everyone
says that it's true i can't
imagine it's true and it doesn't
mean even my kids who we adore and they
adore us you're gonna
you're gonna i can't wait you
it you can't believe that it's the next
generation of you yeah you see
it of them they see it in you
and they're just like so dad this is the
way you were with me and
it's just and then you're just
like you'll have the time and energy you
know you might be a little older when
your youngest has the
kids you too yeah yeah but oh but you are
gonna it from my perspective
i'm glad to hear that you say
maybe it's because you're not as stressed
you're better off
financially you have some choices we
happen to live near one another which is
obviously the best you're
probably going to want that yeah
you know what i mean yeah absolutely but
i've never ever ever
experienced anything like this
you know i cannot wait i cannot wait
she's so our oldest and his
girlfriend got a fish together
paid a fish she wants them to go out of
town so we can babysit the
fish that's how much i can't
we have a storage unit and half of it is
filled with toys of my
kids that are for our grave so
we pay monthly on it but you know what
though you know what you probably you
probably you know and
i'd love to hear because by the way i
listened to podcast one where you talked
about the upbringings
and what you went through as opposed to
what you went through because i would
truthfully say thank
god because you know you never know right
doesn't mean your parents
weren't good whatever but
two stable parents two good people was so
wonderful so for you to
make the choices kudos because
you could also be tainted where people
feel they got short change or
whatever the case may be and
you know you still own your own destiny
but it's a little bit harder
yeah yeah maybe a lot a bit
harder but i mean what's better and what
there's nothing there's
nothing better and i know what i
see it on your face so i can't wait i
can't wait well he'll he'll
tell you you know he'll tell you
as soon as we get news well not only that
he will be it too oh he will
be it too i can't wait oh he's
gonna be yeah no i i and you know what
you guys both you
complimented me you complimented your
wife and i do think that everything you
said about the mother in
the home i agree but i do
100 feel that having a father and in a
child's life is the game
changer i for a son and a daughter
for a son and a daughter it's a game
change whether you're still
married to the father or not
the father being involved with the
children is a game changer i think the
mother's given has to be
right yeah i mean really does although
there are some women that
um aren't understood you know
yeah but yeah that's the base yeah but
that father especially i
think with girls especially
with self-esteem um with um believing in
themselves with
knowing how to pick a partner
having that father in their lives is such
an aid they're not trying to
fill that void of not having
a father i would make an argument and i
and i'm not saying i would win this
argument but i would
put up the argument that the father's
more important but i would expect the
mother to counter that
the mom's more important right you agree
to disagree right
that we're both important
but dads are super critical i think it's
a it's an awesome responsibility
we have to honor and and put work into
and evolve and all of
that it's critical i think
yeah i can't i can't disagree be critical
but i don't uh i would
say that it's gonna sound a
little odd but i mean my mother having a
baby and developing
inside of them just is amazing
and not that you can't have the same
connection because i
think we do but i also think
it's different 100 and i think the mother
is that and it's both so
we're talking that's what i'm
saying yeah you can't but point is i do
and you think about it a
lot of the issues we have
you got some strong mothers that thank
god hold together things
and then when you don't have a
thing statistically there's no you're 100
on point yeah but um you both
just think it works you guys
you're gonna have this beautiful child
let's just make it work yeah
yeah that's the case so your so
your son went to ucf yeah where'd your
daughter go florida gulf
coast okay so they were both in
florida and now they both live close
florida close so that's
wonderful so it's just you just keep
hitting the jackpot you know what i mean
i'm pinching myself yeah
because it's you know what
work did you want um maybe more
grandchildren um because now you're at
two right and it too
so a boy or a boy two and a half year old
cutest thing you've ever
seen in this four-month-old
and then it's the four-month-old a boy or
girl girl oh jemma jemma
and it's so funny you know
babies right you said you're great you
know and i happen to be i
like the baby stage a lot never
had a problem with mine and obviously
them you know diapers crunk
dumb batter but we walk around
and all i see my wife do she's holding
this little chunk of mugs and just
kissing the head yeah and
i'm sitting there going that's what you
used to do with alexandra and it's i've
never seen her happier
yeah again i take yeah yeah yeah yeah so
uh is your daughter and daughter-in-law
are they stay at home
my daughter is not she's a counselor
florida gulf coast oh my
daughter and she doesn't have
a child yet my daughter she's getting
married in january okay
so really good young man so
january okay um but yeah my
daughter-in-law stopped
working right before the child
this woman was made to mother okay and do
you know anything about
because they're uh are they
millennial or gen z when were they born
um 93 and i think she was
maybe 95 or 94 okay so millennial
they're no yeah they're millennials yeah
because nathan's the he's
the oldest gen z and he's 97
expert in their millennials okay so
they're millennial parents
so or not parents your son is a
millennial parent and with your
daughter-in-law um have you observed
do you think their communication is way
more involved about roles
parenting um raising a family
than like even your generation or our
generation have you observed any of that
or gotten that vibe they interesting
because they're really good but they
don't put it out there as
much as i put it out there they're very
different they're more my
son was much more to himself
growing up about relationships and stuff
like that i think i made him
uncomfortable even though
he was fine with it and ends up being
good talking about some of the things
that we talked about
i think they must obviously do that well
i don't see them doing that
outwardly when we're around
right but i see two parents that are
joyous i noticed that
this past week what was just
me and my kid and sure it's a lot of work
but it's joyful with them
you know yeah and a lot of work
i was someday come i was done yeah you
know that two and a half year
old yeah oh it's the cutest but
a lot of work they have some juice they
have some juice yeah but
to your point they seem more
i don't they're not as outwardly about it
um i think my daughter with
my wife is very good about
going deep but my son's not his actions
speak volumes yeah yeah
yeah but um you know he's
probably they're probably they're more
private about they're more
private about it but they're
working as partners it's obvious that
they're working in harmony
yeah yeah and i feel that
they're supporting one another very well
and you know what for
what it's worth i think he
feels the same way making sure that his
wonderful wife has
everything she needs to be a great mom
because that's what's most important to
him that's wonderful have you
yeah have you seen has he um
does he do more domestic stuff than like
our generation your
generation is the guy because
millennial men will do more like um do
dishes vacuum do diapers like they'll
help out more around
the house that generation then gen x men
and boomer men did have
you observed any of that
we're the we're we're the difference like
i'm big into that always oh
really you've always helped
oh well yeah you know five kids seven
years oh true we're doing
dishes we had a regiment and i
think it's very important there's a lot
of talk about successful
people they've all done chores
in that way forget about the money you
make whatever they've
done chores yeah yeah you
have to have some responsibility feeling
you're part of a team yes
that kind of that's what we've
always told our kids is you're part of
the helping the household run yeah yeah
so important a lot of
statistics are coming out after they look
over all these years it's
interesting but she's real good
i mean it's bedlam right now in a good
way of course beautiful 80
pound antony and shepherd
who used to be the king of the castle
because everybody you know
and they got the two and a
half year old who's cutest can be but oh
boy and then this little
four month old so they're a
beautiful home nice home but but you know
what one more kid we got to
get a new house it's not big
enough um i think she's real good about
keeping that up oh yeah he
um is a partner my wife's
brother never got married great guy has a
kitchen bath and cabinet company and
they're doing a good
job and he's a partner in that firm so um
it's nice being an
entrepreneur he's done it now eight
nine ten years um my brother-in-law's in
his later 50s it's you
know it's going to be austin's
business or oh that's wonderful yeah it's
you with another partner
this gentleman that that
that's their third wonderful but austin
so he gets up and out early
and works but comes home at four
and he's on duty from then that's
wonderful you know the weekends they seem
to make it work they
really do that's but i think to answer
your question i don't think
he's doing a lot of things
around there he's you know when i was
there with him he was pretty
good but i think based on the
list that was on the refrigerator he had
the instructions on how to
do it right and he properly
followed them yeah that's funny um now i
was gonna you had mentioned
about we've talked about your
parents but we haven't discussed um were
they around for your
children when they were born
like were they grandparents for your
children were they were
they happened to live in Naples
until they got older and one had
Alzheimer's one had a multitude of
maladies that ended up being
dementia and we moved them up to Virginia
where there was two
sisters that were great with them
a brother that lived kind of close as
opposed to just me down
here but they were able to
experience it but it's different because
seeing her my wife's family
they were all about it you
know the big Italian Bernie Panella did
well he was a smart man had
beautiful homes life was good
they're calling you hey you want to take
Jersey out we'll take the
kids my parents were burned out
yeah love the kids no problem did it but
they were burned out yeah
yeah so were they more like
they would visit and then yeah yeah they
were like that they were
like that and it was cool
because they actually lived in this
really nice community for
several years on the same street
and my father and mother and my wife's
stepfather and mother were
great friends oh that's awesome
yeah that's wonderful it was and my dad
had so much respect for her
stepfather he was a really
smart man and he would be that guy that
you'd want to sit down
with him and hey dad i'm gonna
buy a car hey dad how do i finance this
or i'm putting this guy he
was the rock but anyway my
dad loved and you know he sold to the
military and then my dad was
military it was uh it was a
wild thing and that was enjoyable because
we'd have these parties
and everybody came together
that's lovely actually the hands-on stuff
like we're getting the
kids as much as possible and
i'm taking them to the golf course
insurance is wheeling around we're having
fun with it my parents
are like yeah yeah yeah not bad they just
wouldn't no i think there's two
approaches two approaches
and um and it's interesting too when you
see what your parents you
don't know how your parents are
going to react right until you have
children then you're like oh okay you're
you're like that you
so now did her family also live in Naples
uh yeah matter of fact
sister that i went to college with
lived in Naples lives in Naples and her
parents too yep yep that's
so wonderful remember they
got them down here no i know but the um
parents though their her
parents too also lived down here
they moved first yeah they were the
parents moved correct correct okay so the
pair oh i thought it
was just the sister so the parents moved
first then the brother
came down oh the brother too
you know 30 years and 20 some years ago
because i was the last and that was 25
which seems like yesterday yeah that's
what happens you get i
don't we've been here a while
and it's like almost 20 and it goes so
fast so fast so when did
your parents come down um
you know they were that was probably like
um we've been here 25 years
maybe five years after that
they started in cape coral bought a
couple properties moved
down and that's where they
all kind of happened in Naples where they
were all together and did
any of your siblings also
move down no they're they're they're
mainly uh either uh richmond virginia
outside of Baltimore
ones in south carolina it's a little bit
dispersed now but we still see each other
fair amount it was you know with their
parents passing a couple years ago
there's a little bit
of a miss now because there was always a
reason to be there but the
connection is still great
that's wonderful and with social media
and everything too that
helps so much you know
keep in touch and keep in contact when
did your parents um who came
down with dementia first my
father and how old was he late 70s that's
early it feels early and it
was a rough 10 years he had
it for so he lived till late 80s yeah and
when about what about your
mom she had it later than
him but she had all these issues broken
backs she she unfortunately such a
wonderful woman fell into
just it started with back and then
multiple surgeries then
the medicine impacts yeah and
then you know so just turned into more
and then eventually dementia
but my dad we had really good
medical care so he was on a couple of the
medicines air accept
and i forget the other one
early so it wasn't like he wasn't
cognitive he was but he wasn't he got
quiet because he wouldn't
remember what he was saying in sentences
and he didn't want to feel
like that guy so he got quiet
but he'd always remember you and so forth
and he was this guy like
i said he knew it with his
the wife from the get my mother from the
get-go he died three months
to the day after she died and
he had no reason to be i mean physically
he was still yeah okay but
you lose that will to live
where they married do you know yeah they
were married in 1959 so
yeah so that had to be what
is that 41 years today so 60 something
late 60 60 i 60 yeah that's
amazing and i think they had
a really good relationship i really do
did you guys use the
services down in south florida then
dementia right yeah we were able to
fortunate that financially we could
afford a concierge doctor
who happens to be a friend who happened
to be brilliant to be
quite honest with you um and he
he took care of his care until it got to
the point that a lot of it
here i was still working still
having kids and my parents had a large
house and i'd get calls all the time
certain things needed
to be maintained and of course you want
to help them out but it
got to be a lot my mom was
going to either hospitals or rehab
centers and interesting point
because my wife god bless her
said jd you've changed you're taking this
too much you're being
short with your family
something's got to give did a webex call
with the four brothers and
sisters they took over and
like wonderful brothers and sisters would
and you know sold their
house moved them up there
the two girls girls will take care of you
yeah care that not that
the boys won't but guess what
i'll take my two sisters manage my care
i'm going to take i'll take
my daughter managing my care
but yeah so that was tough to see that
but thank god they had great care
that's good a lot of love but god no i'm
sure it's something you
can't describe to someone how
torturous that is torturous good word
until they've gone
through you've gone through it
and and just it's like a double death
right because you're losing them and in
real time watching it
and then you lose them yeah um it's hard
for me to say especially with my dad
because he's the one
who taught my mom was big supportive but
this faith thing has
changed my life in so many good
ways and doesn't matter what faith you
have turn out to be the
person that what my father tried to
us or did with us and a lot of it was
spirituality but it was more
your actions that's all you know
that's yeah that's what i care about and
that's what yeah so when did your
eucharist eucharistic
minister correct correct when did you
start on that journey um
directly tied to my parents um
it was really important that they get the
body of christ in their various
facilities they were
graduated so they started and you know
where it was you could still
live in your same thing and
moved up you could live in the same thing
but you had to have help
and then they had to you know
that kind of thing and um these wonderful
people would come into the
facilities and they'd give
the body of christ to my dad or my mom or
even before it got too
bad they'd have this this
beautiful group that would just join in a
little little room that
they had there and all the
the people that were going through the
same things they'd have a
little reading and it was
was uh maybe a song or two or whatever
and that meant a lot so
when when i saw that and got to
talk to them it was kind of moving and
then you you know as a
catholic you believe that is the
body of christ and i do and to see that
miracle happen at that point
i felt that that's something
that i wanted to do um for for both those
reasons is probably the most
rewarding but it's it's also
a little bit challenging you did you do
it for them or that was just your
motivation after that
to to be able to do that for others like
he means literally did
you give them the eucharist
yourself my parents no it was no no
thanks for clarifying no i didn't that
would have been great
that would have been great yeah but um
it's the greatest it's
probably the the greatest thing but
it's also just a little bit you know you
you're seeing what's
happening and as you're on that
road when it goes down there there's some
great discussions you have but it's also
just to get an older process and it being
you know you try to
avoid it as much as you can
yeah but now i'm right in the middle of
that and you meet some
good people and have lost
yeah and it's uh it's uh it's a little
challenging but probably one
of the most wonderful things
i've done it's a commitment you know my
sundays are definitely not
you know what do you do are
you going to hospitals and no you not no
i what i do is i actually
go to various people's homes
okay either generally can't make it to
church so the church has a
program that you will come
and you will you know do a reading for
them or talk to them it doesn't have to
be this big grandiose
thing yeah but the reality is you tell
them what's happening the
message from that sunday
and then you give them the body of christ
that's wild it is it's it's
probably you know we've done
a lot of things my wife and i she's got a
good heart we've done a
lot of things on the outside
this is probably one of the more
rewarding in terms of the connection
because one you know i'm
sitting there driving around and i'm like
this is unbelievable man i've always
taken it and i get it
but i'm like you know what man i the guy
that i'm giving this to or
the woman i'm giving this to
this is the body of christ man so yeah so
when you leave are you leaving um
energized and ready for
the day and you feel good or do you leave
kind of like maybe not
necessarily with the heavy heart
but like a real reflective mind of like
wow that was pretty heavy and
you know what i mean there's
a difference there one's like let's go
take on the day that was amazing the
other is that was amazing
wow i need to kind of gather my thoughts
love the question
because i now actually think
of that because one always believed
always believed but you
know there's nobody i love
more than jesus christ there's nobody you
know and as much as i
love my wife and kids
it's hard to even but it has brought me
that much closer to i
believe as you know the savior and
it's the greatest thing the greatest
thing and it's the thing that makes most
sense in the world that
to me sometimes makes me a little bit
down you know what i mean
yeah and being able to have that
closeness to that has been super
rewarding um the greatest i've met some
some good people and i like
it selfishly sometimes i sit there and go
it's sunday i'm limited
yeah uh it makes me feel bad
that i feel that way but but we're all
sinners exactly and i don't
really bad um but i do feel
good because i know it's super important
to them and again i'm sitting there
driving with the picks
they're called and and it is the body of
christ and i took that not
for granted because i've always
respected and cherish that but at the
same time i'm driving around and i'm
giving that to somebody
to experience that is is a beautiful
thing and that's why i think
priests and servers and deacons
feel this thing because there's
especially priests think what you got to
give up and a lot of things
but i think that that is probably what's
a big thing about it
think about what they're doing
burying people and counseling people that
have had tragedies yep so anyway great
question i i i don't
know if i leave energized i leave feeling
closer to christ and that's more
important to me than
anything it's almost like you become a
brinks truck it's that
valuable it's more valuable than
you know the brinks trucks that have the
money the armor truck but
but you're yeah you're you're
it's more valuable than what's in a
brinks truck you know
it's the body of christ
100 is what i'm it's like you know you
can't you have to be
careful with that you know there's
there's certain things around it you
can't keep it overnight and now if you
drop it or um there's
all there it's the body of christ and
there is there there's
history behind it but yeah you're
right and that feels it feels really
really good it's an awesome
responsibility but it really is
but i mean it's amazing that um that
you're doing that and giving it's such an
incredible gift you're
giving to people and i'm sure it does
bring you so much closer to your own
faith it does and that
makes me super happy because i always
believed and always tried to pay forward
but the reality of it is
i want that closer because that's
goodness and sometimes like
you know like i've had to take
off certain applications social media
platforms because i'm
getting drawn into police chases
or fights yeah and i understand it's like
healthy no no you have to
be careful where you can
mentally and spiritually for sure 100
percent have you been there
when people have passed you
give less rights no no no that's just the
priest right that's correct
that's the sacrament right i
just a quickie because this will comes
full circle and it's
just amazing to me i had a
gentleman in my neighborhood whose wife i
know because we did the uh
h o a in our neighborhood
together she was real nice lady and when
she heard that i became
a eucharistic minister
she's like hey do you mind being take
care of my uh husband who's
a nice guy he had some heart
problems like 80 so i got to know him
through her and you know we knew he
wasn't in great shape but
you know he's 80 and he got around well
anyway i come or a call to
say hey i'm on my way she goes
don't come he passed away and i'm like oh
i'm so sorry i didn't
know but you know whatever
and she goes i gotta tell you something
and i'm like what she
goes jadey his name was
maurice her name's alicia she said he's
in bed and he calls me
and he goes honey lay down
and hold their hands and he died holding
her hand and they were
kind of like what we were
talking about you feel about your wife or
whatever he knew it was
coming wow and he said hold my hand
and i it's hard it's almost hard to
believe but this this i know this woman
um wow yeah so wow so
to be able to be feeling things like that
and i know they were
good acumen people that were
successful great grandparents but the net
of it is and i'm sure they
had bumps in the road but that
that bond through their faith the guy
knows it's coming hold my
hand yeah what it throws me away
that's amazing that's amazing true story
so it's you're right it's
amazing that's that's what i
would want i would want that if i had to
pick we would go at the
exactly same time that's wonderful
that's that's exactly you guys have such
good energy 100 or 100
years old our kids are fine
everything's good okay we're done i'm not
dying so if i'm catholic
just you know so i um in a pinch
if it was like the middle of the desert
could you give less rights
or can you can't you can't you
can offer comfort of course but you
cannot do the performance the
sacrament what is what is the
the i was a race catholic i i'm i'm not
at this point um what is
the significance of the last
rights in in that context i'll let you
know that it has to be done
by a priest i guess well i mean
you know sacrament you're being yeah it's
a sacrament you're
passing on but you know you're
forgiven you know that kind of a thing
honestly i wish i knew more
but um it's it's part of the
process and you're at you're you're
you're with a holy person as you are
passing on yeah and it's a
beautiful thing and again i think if
there's any thing you want to say or
anything you ask even
carrying with you or any oh yeah oh is it
almost like a not a last
confessional but not if you're
caught i guess you're not right you're
not lucid at that point well
you could be it's a good point
honestly i'm not aware enough but yeah i
want to even find out
because the great thing about this
journey too is i've learned so much more
and i've never made the time
and i love the stories i love
the history oh if you take the time to
really learn about it's fascinating it's
really fascinating but
like the sacrament's like baptism
communion reconciliation
confession marriage um last
rights confirmation you got them yeah
yeah that's it right last rights is is
one of those right okay
it's on that level it's on that level
yeah yeah exactly so i think
that's i've thought about that
when i've been at church i've thought
maybe in my future i'll do
that the chris is probably one of
the better things i've ever done one
connection to my parents how about that
yeah but more importantly
oh my god i love everything about what
this guy did and stands for
and i hope we no matter what
fate no matter what color let's just
let's do what this guy was talking about
and yeah love it on man
and and and you know in our time and
place and don't you think
you're doing you we've talked
about family that's what you've done to
yours that's what i've
tried to do to mine i've always
told brian because he's not a practicing
catholic but i'm like you're more
catholic than a lot of
catholics because by his actions yeah
because he's lived the catholic but
that's my that's sort of
the rub for me that's my problem well he
has i know i am but i it's
yeah you know he you know
it does take effort and there's something
to say about that but at the same time
that's not what matters it matters your
actions and who you are yeah
because you know this is why
i'm saying all this faith fighting and
race stuff i get that it's part of life
but when you peel that
back yeah so you are man and you know
anything you don't have to
go to church to do that or you
don't have to do it kind of where i fall
on it yeah yeah but but i
mean you might feel better
making the efforts i know i always feel
closer to jesus when i'm
doing those things you know
what i mean i've got a wife that if
there's a hurricane or a flood or
something she's on the
phone getting stuff together and then you
go do something and i go
god i feel so good about what
we're doing but closer to you and at the
same time you helping somebody
how do you feel i don't think
there's much better so yeah the only
reason i'm saying that
brian that does take some effort
goodwill i do think i know that um you
know between naples and
here there's a large uh
native american reservation the mikasuki
tribe is out there i think
um and i think you've told me
how you've done some volunteer work there
right have you done like
the kitchen or soup type of
thing right tell her about that because i
remember you telling me
about that it's like wow that's
really cool but i remember you also
saying it's kind of heavy
because it's oh god yeah it's a
makli so it's not so okay there is a
casino now in mak amakali but you know
what i mean but it's
the city of amakli have you guys ever
been to oh yeah that's where i have it's
i've been in the area
we've hiked down there i've gone to like
everglade city i've done the whole oh
yeah that whole area
we've come in from what is it 41 uh
between you know the old highway well if
you were on alligator
alley guys coming yeah yeah that area
it's exit 80 okay and you go five miles
what is that i think
it's north right is that well north
definitely west not not
not you know no it's an east
anyway the point of it is it is a where a
lot of the migrants um
are are picking that's right
that's what it was so it's a lot of that
and you know because the
casino's there there's all those
issues with that but it's very poor it's
very poor so it was a church related
thing it's called the
and they're wonderful with their outreach
and so forth so
interestingly enough that's one of the
things i was able to do with my dad early
on before he started
getting sick so it was it was
you know doing it with your family was
really cool another way you can feel
closer but feeding's
always such a good thing yeah you know
and you also run into a
lot of these businesses that
supported this guadalupe center you know
like a public you know you
don't know if you know what's
behind the scenes but they're pretty good
they're pretty good man and
i appreciate when that truck
rolls in and it says it's not expired but
they're not selling anymore yeah
someone's eating it so
anyway i really like that side of it so
that's what it was it was a mockly and
yeah there's a lot of
needs there it's a it's a rough and tough
kind of situation yeah we
have a place here called boca
helping hands in public there for it's
for the homeless and um
people who are in need of food
publics delivers so much there uh it's
amazing like i seem to do
it right that founder yeah
yeah yeah no it's great they've become
part of the community
they are part of the
world supporting part of the florida
community they hire a lot of
different kind of folks you
know i mean some with special needs yes i
like that and hopefully
it's a it's good but i mean
yeah no it's a good company so as your um
oh i was going to ask you
said that your wife went
to work after your kids she did what did
she do she was bookkeeper for the kitchen
bathroom cabinet company okay perfect and
then surprisingly enough
guess when she stopped working
grandchildren yeah it's a great excuse i
love it i love it i love it
yeah and again never happier
that's wonderful and then your daughter's
getting married in january
um and will they stay here
where you live in napells they live in
fort myre's about 30 minutes
away from us um she lives it's
pretty close to that florida gulf coast
where she's at and that's
cool because if you go up there
it's a pretty vibrant campus oh it really
is we toured it i i'd love
it well that was back with
um nathan so that was like years ago
we're going to be touring it this year
with dylan trying to
get him to go there well hey by the way
let me know because my
daughter will get you set up
oh perfect counselor and what's so funny
is so she went there but
went there early got out of high
school after three years you know what i
mean and then went there to
whatever and joined the sorority
changed her life all good now she's
counseling there it's like that's
wonderful it is and i've
seen the college grow to your point brian
it's well funded yeah it's
nice it's they're building
yeah um safe it's safe and clean it's
safe and clean yeah yeah
every experience i take the little
guy there to we've had lunch or drop you
know combine see auntie
alley at florida gulf coast
with the two-year-old which of course she
loves but i mean everything
feels really good at florida
gulf coast so it's a nice option for you
guys yeah no we're gonna
definitely he knows we're
gonna go um check it out so your daughter
graduated a year early she
did she went through some tough
times in high school a little bit of
bullying yeah it was tough
another reason why and it was
up we sent them to this nice private
school yeah um some of it may have been
self-inflicted to be
honest with you you know how you interact
with you whatever but and i
don't mean to make judgment
because everything ends up working out or
at least it did in this
regard but she just had a a tough
run um the last year or so and it just so
happened that florida gulf
coast had this program had
with that in particular but she's smart
girl she writes well she's
creative and it was this type
of thing that they made available that
that i don't know if it was
she went free or we had to
pay a certain part i don't remember but
all i know is the timing
couldn't have been better
and she loved it ended up being uh uh
what do they call them the
fraternity one of the girls
that helped the got the uh the sorority
members you know coast the
parties and all those kind of
so she got to she got to do that then she
was in a sorority a lot of
the friends from there so
it was a great experience i'm one i'm
happy that that worked
out that's wonderful because
no i mean our daughter also went through
some stuff like that just i think
when girl when there's mean girls
involved it's vicious and it
can be so it didn't know that by
the way oh yeah yeah um it and it's it's
it's i call it quiet
bullying when girls bully because
bully is more obvious but with girls it's
more behind the scenes
vindictive stuff but it can be
it can cause depression it can be
horrible so well i think
absolutely yeah and you have to i
always tell parents of daughters you need
to watch out for that because
there can be things going on
you don't even realize and then all and
that's where the
communication comes in with your kids
and that's where it's like you need to
talk to me you need to tell me what's
going on and so um i'm
going to do that because girls will just
drop friends they'll be like
i'm not your friend anymore
that's that's hurtful especially some of
them are you know they
go camp together for years
yeah but she's again my daughter handled
it came out real well
that's wonderful it really really
is testament to because i think my wife i
know my wife had a a lot yeah
you know what i'm i was more
like oh be a phase and it will pass still
try to be a good dad but
she talked to my wife that's
the key that's the key and then back to
the point that's most
important yeah that is because i'm like
i go to my wife so why you know
especially with my son you know sports
and all that and we're all
getting along really well but i'm like i
don't why is this alie you're you're
definitely the favorite
in my life i always try to be that guy
she's like jadey man start
taking her to lunch yeah start
doing these things that you do and you
know sure enough i did it and our
relationship turned into
i i couldn't want anybody different than
her for a daughter but it's
funny my wife goes dude what is
your problem in a good way you're good
dad but you're not making
the effort that you should have
or because you're sitting here come to me
why aren't i closer to
so lesson learned so that
goes back to my question when did that
happen for you when did you
that epiphany happened where
you're like all right i gotta really was
that my wife told me two
years ago okay that was you know
yeah maybe probably 10 plus years ago
okay that's the track and we got along
wasn't like there's a
bad thing but i mean i don't think i was
as near as helpful as my wife was um i
tried you know again
we had good family stuff but she was
going through a tough time and my wife
managed it and i didn't
realize the degree of which and i
probably could have been more helpful to
be quite frankly you
you just summed up our my life our life
that relationship
because they're way more
she's the one who's guided that and it's
like you really need
to put in a little time
that's a valid point because i'm like no
one's ever told me that
i'm always the guy whatever
but i avoided that kind of conflict for
one never dealt with it personally if
anything i was always
trying to hang out with buddies and you
might have a bump here and there but i
don't remember it and
i don't remember that at all with my son
yeah to your point nicole i
think there were some mean
girls yeah oh usually there is no doubt
that's usually what it is
yeah and a lot usually that
sums from jealousy it's usually that's
that's typically what it is
if you go back to the root
of it someone was jealous and so someone
decided to destroy your
daughter's life that's pretty much
how it follows on kind of yes it's like
lord of the flies but girl
version okay yeah and it's
horrible it's not where that yeah it's
very common it happens in
middle school and high school for
girls and it's very and then
unfortunately some of these mean girls
grow up to be mean women
and so you but then by then you can
handle them but you i can spot them a
mile away you just know
like keep them at arm's length because
they're just like an
energy thing or and for me i can
read now like yeah you just you can tell
just the way they are and
i'm sure your wife could also
totally spot you're like okay i'm not
going to be good friends
with her she'll stay in my outer
woman you just know and it's unfortunate
that they have children
then they raise mean girls
i would be very upset i get it because
god you know make the mistake bah bah bah
i wouldn't if my daughter was a bully i
mean how's that i'm not gonna
let i would be yeah front and
center of that you can't do that but
you're that's the point you're not a
bully you're not raising a
bully but there's adults that grow up and
they don't change and
they say generally that's it
that's the point that the mother was
probably the the mother or
the parents um are were probably
bullies and have not changed their ways
have not grown as people and are just
having little people
like them like they think it's fine they
don't correct they're like
yeah that's fine they don't
correct or they're insecure or they're
jealous there's parents
who are jealous of other kids
you know i mean like their kid they're
those kids might be doing better at
something than my kid
they're jealous it's just it's a horrible
thing talk about faith
like you were at the nick game
while this was happening no might have
been might have been no but those
daughter daddy dates i
call them um there's been times where i'm
like you need to take her on
a daddy daughter daddy date
it's time and they go to lunch or they go
to dinner or they go do
something and it's such
a game changer i will say this nicole and
again i've only met your
daughter the one time at that
f1 but they that's yeah yeah and she's
doll thank you really she's
a sweetheart well you know
i'm from that school nice to meet you and
you're looking me in the
eye and where you know what i
mean i'm not trying to yeah i'm good too
much into it but i you know
oh really and you know you're
you're generally going to talk to me and
not just you know no she's a very
authentic woman young i
call her a woman i saw a girl but she's
very authentic and very
genuine and very kind yeah
there you go yeah so no she really is she
really is a good person
yeah you know one of the first
things she said when she new york comes
she goes make sure and thank
him again for the f1 tickets
i'll tell him how much i love it now and
i said i will i promise you
did mention and again i'll get
you one of those days because to see that
that much fun and that is
that's become such an event the
only problem is brian hot right and it
gets packed so you've got to figure out
timing and things like
that and you'll have a better now now we
know what to do and where the
part dialed in yeah yeah you
get what i mean because then there's
you'll have my second year was a lot
better than my first even
the first was great but yeah we've
literally watched every race
since then the two of us watch
every race i recorded now actually yeah
yeah so before i ask my
last question do you have any
other questions oh i always have to ask
him because i i ask and
then he goes i had a question
i don't think so i think we've covered
some ground here you know you got
everything i think so okay
i think so my last question is always
where do you see yourself in five years i
would guess i had to
guess retirement but i don't know so
where do you see yourself in five years
definitely retired okay you know and
again i enjoy i have such a good working
relationship if there
is some consulting just to stay busy fine
but um we love the working
out type of thing my wife and
i have really bonded that much closer
because we both love to
spend and love yoga so we'll do
classes together and it's enjoyable
because you know you're you're doing
those things and then
you know you meet the people there and
like they're their hunts you
know so i know that we'll be
doing a lot of that together yeah which
is good because we enjoy it
and it's the healthy i'm sure
um more time spent trying to do the right
thing for others i know
that's a big part of it so i think
we'll be busy i'll be doing a lot of golf
there's no question hopefully with jd
junior yeah know what
i mean now he has those trainings he
might be better than you oh i
hope god i pray so i pray so
but probably in a really good place
probably still here we always thought
about having a second home
and we're kind of planning on that at
some point and you never know but with
airbnbs and you could
month here and there my wife not leaving
the children and there's
there's no way and not yeah
i don't want to either but you know i'm
still saying my dream is
seasons i still can't get over
missing see yeah brian yeah i wanted to
answer your question before
i have one for you but but
that was how i see myself retired and
happy as can be and good
friends and good family and just
hopefully trying to stay healthy and
maybe more
grandchildren that would be the
the don't mess up that wedding ceremony
because that leads to
the the grandchildren
a lot of responsibilities you know what's
interesting too my daughter she'll make a
great mother my opinion because you know
she will um she's ready now that's
wonderful yeah and you
know she's she's 30 years old now so yeah
she's just turning 30
years old that's yeah great 30
so yeah but but i could see that
happening and he's there he's done well
he's smart kids got a good
job so i could see that happening but
yeah that would be awesome that's
wonderful that's it you're
so blessed i really am and i and you know
and i'm appreciative of that
um yeah yeah no it's wonderful
yeah you said you had a question for us i
do because i was talking to
brian about this especially
now knowing like that northern new jersey
thing that you live and i
lived this idyllic brown i
remember fall and smelling fireplaces 100
you you know i mean i
can remember snow days yep
100 okay and that was a lot more
northeast right and you know i
moved down here not that that
love but moved down here love florida
pretty hot you know what i
mean and a lot the same and a lot
of that's good you had mentioned oh you
can play sports year round i
was doing that in the summer
but anyway i always always thought of
that second home and then i go
brian was telling me that you
grew up in the west and the pacific
northwest and you know having
worked for cisco for all these
years you know it's a lot of years as
god's country right yes so
i had family lived out in
colorado then california why would you
leave well i mean i i loved
oregon um where i grew up in
beaverton outside of portland i loved
growing up there um we met in
college in ashland oregon so
are you guys okay okay yeah he came from
jersey to oregon to go to
college um so that's where we
met and ashland oregon is this quaint
little shakespearean
festival town artsy hippie you got
to go there magical if you're ever near
ashland it's 20 miles north of the
california border so
you're in the redwoods area so that's
what i'm saying it's
amazing no it's nice there's
vineyards are out there new legal weeds
out there now if you
want but the whole thing but
it's beautiful it's like she's saying
it's 15 20 miles north of
california border right on i5
there are little shakespeare's festival
there wonderful park it's
beautiful downtown area it's
it's great growing up in oregon you know
the thing is when you
grow up somewhere like oregon
you almost don't realize how beautiful it
is until you leave and
then you're like wow it's
really majestic right it's majestic when
you see a redwood tree
you're changed yeah well that's
northern california but even in oregon
it's just douglas furs and
green it's green green green
the one thing i will say is it's very
gray because it rains about nine months
out of the year so like
eight months out of the year that's key
then i didn't know i
didn't know maybe eight months
out there i'm gonna have to oregonian say
that's not right um it rains
a lot i didn't realize that
i lived in gray you don't know you live
in gray and see and then i
moved to new jersey with brian
because we had nathan in oregon but then
we didn't want to raise him
in portland understood it was
starting to turn into a little bit too
much of a drug culture town
which i'm sure you've seen
what's happened to portland and where
he's from sparta is kind of like where
you lived in randoff
this quaint little lake community super
safe just idyllic all that
so we moved out to new jersey
to raise children when i moved is when i
realized oh i was living in
gray because in new jersey even
when it's cold in the winter it still
could be a blue sky out
like i didn't realize how much
i needed a blue sky or i needed more sun
so um i love oregon i
will always love the pacific
northwest but i don't think i could live
in the gray again so that's
what it is in gray because
you think that beautiful nature it's
gorgeous and then one of
the reasons it's so green and
so lush is because it rains so much and
it and the air is clean and
all that um and that's just
what it's like up there it's just it's
like seattle it's very rainy um it's
gorgeous i love it but i
just i couldn't do it again i because you
do get seasons there but
it's still gray seasons it does
snow sometimes but it's still gray it is
cool to like if you're
driving in downtown portland i
think it's i-5 you come around the corner
and right there's mount
hood in the distance and
snow covered year round yeah so that's
amazing i don't know if you
can still see st helens or not
i know it's erupted again and might have
shrunk but st helens is
out there yeah you know so as
you're driving around there's these
that's some objective
volcanoes basically oh yeah i mean
cool i'd be on the freeway just driving
and there's the mountains
like it's it was just like yeah
that's right that's where it is but it's
funny isn't it yeah the
different things but you just
said it because i couldn't do that either
and you know what
resonates because spending time in
it's gray yeah it's very much like that a
lot but you're 100 okay
it's very much like that you
know and again and i think there's a lot
of seasonal depression not
just in oregon or washington but
anywhere like that um i just i couldn't
but you know what's
funny you said about seasons
i miss seasons too i do but i do feel the
seasons in florida no i do i
feel when the break comes in
the fall um and then of course winter
with that i feel i don't
know about the break in the fall
much more did when we moved here yeah but
you know different
strokes i do love and appreciate
the sun and all that and do not get me
wrong but you know in your
mind you're like i'm gonna go
be in the woods in northwest oregon or
washington state and how they
say british vancouver is the
most i just you want what you don't have
yes but i'm not going
anywhere without you know the
reality is everything's a plane right
away yeah it'd be great to go on like a
week or two vacation
airbnb be it with the whole crew
everything you would want you could get
without living there you
don't have that experience but you don't
have to live in it you can get it in
north carolina i think
you were in north carolina or the summer
right or south carolina
well wherever you are i drilled
into that city you were in looks really
cool greenville yeah
greenville yeah yeah um i need
i want more north just because i want
cooler yeah yeah but again uh
you know i who wants black ice
all that kind of stuff but i just laugh
how there was four distinct seasons
and maybe it was my youth too at that age
where everything was
looking good but god brawn i
enjoyed that so much you knew spring you
knew summer you knew fall
you knew winter yeah and
i love the different clothes people are
wearing yeah i miss that i miss the
different like i wear
all the things in january here i'm like
where am i great i wear
everything or january february
and i see other people doing it too but
um you know but in new
jersey at least you'd be in winter
was like six months or five months like
you'd be dealing inside
the kids were inside so much
i found it as a kid i have such fond
memories all wonderful when
it would snow getting the day
days what it would mean to come out in
the spring when it's like 60
degrees and you're in shorts
because it's not 30 right in the seasons
but as a parent as a dad i
hated it because if it snows
i'm dealing i'm the one dealing with the
sidewalks the driveway
and then it melts and
then it freezes again now i'm dealing
with ice from a safety issue
you know so it's fair because
i haven't well i take that back i lived
in new york with the kids
long island yeah but then the
the raking he i remember in the fall he'd
be raking almost every
weekend like blowing the leaves
almost it was we had time we lived kind
of back into the woods we
did we had a cool place that
our backyard was the woods and that was
cool but he did spend a lot
of the fall just blowing leaves
so he he enjoyed he and plus when we
moved here enjoyed that because you
didn't have to deal with
it he enjoyed the break from not doing it
and it was fun i don't mind
doing leaves honestly i'm all
i'm okay with it because we'd be out
there with the kids and they'd be rolling
in it but now in new
jersey they have ticks the ticks so it's
not like you're like don't roll in it
don't roll don't have
yeah don't you could catch yeah so in
conclusion we've all lived right about
perfect timing where
there wasn't yes you know oh i think so
remember ticks when i was
there now it's a big thing like
yeah you got it because the deer oh
you've not heard of it i've
heard of it huge yeah and i
think i've even come across a couple
people have been you know
they're hurting because of it yeah
my mom got limes when she was up there
it's terrible she did
it's amazing how much she
covered but yeah so we're like you we're
not leaving the kids if the
kids go to oregon i'm going
oregon she's she's in that mode i'm like
i'm not leaving floor i would go i
actually would go to
i i have my eye on like chattin ugah
maybe that ash you turn me on to the
chattin ugah it was nice
i love it chattin ugah is cool yeah very
cool town very cool i'll
give a shout out to what is
it 11 that whiskey at some white crew
distillery right in chattin ugah i went
there did you remember
you told me to go there and then there
was the hotel i stayed at
when that river was right there
i forget oh you stayed at the same hotel
yeah the marion it's kind of like a
bookie yeah yeah yeah
oh my god great and you walk across that
bridge right across the
desserian bridge the tennessee
river i think yeah but 11 whiskey at some
of the best whiskey i've
ever had if anyone's around
go there to it's by the train right yeah
that's right and nikol end
on this if you want to end
which is great because this was fun but
part of the chat nuga i
love that you know the whole
desmond dos story now he's that um the
soldier that wouldn't carry
a gun oh and oh my god it's
the most amazing story uh guy's name is
desmond dos and is this it
was a i think i forget the name
the movie hacksaw ridge or whatever but
you told me about yeah but you gotta
watch the movie because
anyway he just became he people were
against me wouldn't carry a
gun anyway he ended up being
like one of the bravest guys ever saved
like 72 lives under five
just crazy story anyway i i
would tell everybody this is my hero this
is my hero so sure enough
that's where he's buried so
when brian said check out chat nuga no
way that's where this
gentleman's buried and i went and saw
his grave it just made because i'm like
that's who you want to be a
guy that's gentle but it's
a hero and then oh my god it was that's
amazing yeah oh i was meant
to ask you did you go to your
lacrosse coach's grave in arlington um i
did i haven't been there
since they buried him but
it was the one of the most oh you went to
the service oh god you
guys i've never forget it
horse drawn carrots oh no kidding fly
over wow he was he was
like i said you guys he
can you imagine just i mean you know a
manly man thing i never
experienced war thank god
but at the same time these heroes that
put it out on the line this guy
fought germans and planes yeah fought
japanese and planes and you
know just you need to challenge
yourself as a man yeah so we have no clue
no clue no i'll be the first
to admit i would never be a
cop and i would never i could never sign
up for for an armed
service or thing like that i'm
i'm a guy's guy but i'm not a guy a man's
man or whatever right
whatever that difference is
i don't know what it is but these guys
that that have gone the war
flown over and you know in
planes that's hero they're heroes heroes
they give us they gave us
the life work we're sitting
here having a podcast thank you yeah
exactly yeah yeah absolutely
100 100 and that's a note yeah
you have to watch that movie and you get
a chance it's it's i mean
he's world-famous i mean
and it's just real because at the end of
the movie they interview
people that oh that's cool
and they tell the real thing like you
know because he got just
abused everybody didn't want to be
with him because he wouldn't carry a gun
wow yeah interesting we'll
have to check it out yeah
check it out watch that so all right
that's a good note to end on before you
end it i'll just say
thank you really appreciate it come on
absolutely that's part of my I know but
you don't go and you
have a nice succinct ending and wrap up
but i just thank you so much it's awesome
just yes really cool
yeah really cool you know i i know your
husband and you know we've
we've it's it's been fun it's
been it's been good because you know like
you said you talk about
business and you want to do
the right thing i just like to yeah when
you get when you have to go
through that and you're with
people that are good people that are fair
people and you know it's
it's wild to be able to be here
so thanks well thank you for sharing your
story and your wisdom and
um you know i think a lot of
people are a lot of our listeners will
learn a lot from some some of the stuff
you shared especially
um professionally i think oh cool the
wisdom you have when it comes to your
professional journey
um and the different aspects of sales and
the integrity that you
bring to that role i think
the younger generations can learn a lot
from that and so i
really appreciate that you
did such a deep dive into that because um
i think there's aspects
that um the younger generations
need to learn a little bit more um about
the meaning behind when
you're selling something
not just the sale so i think you really
you you brought that to the
forefront one one thing i'll
add to what we've seen boomers get a take
a tough rap um say in the comments and
stuff but i do think
you you've represented the boomer as well
and i think for our
listeners and i've said it in
other episodes where i've said i've i
know some boomers that are
good people i think you've
represented your your boomer generation
well and i know you're not
full of crap this is all genuine
stuff and i've known jd for a few years
now several years yeah 15
18 years probably wow wow
i didn't know it was that long yeah wow
well and so much of what we are about
here is authenticity
and so i can say to our listeners we have
an authentic boomer in
here that's authentic and
i think there are more but i i think as
brian just said you're such
a great example of someone
that gets it that's real that's um that
can just relate with anyone
probably from any age in any
generation and i think that and you're
not all about yourself you know you
you're you're giving
back you um are there to to meet people
halfway i just know that
that's how you approach life and
and i think there are other boomers like
you out there it's just that
unfortunately the younger
10 not like that before they come across
one like you and so i think they get
discouraged you know
and so um i just i'm so glad you came on
to share your story because
i appreciate that what what
are they if i may ask what what are they
what do you find because
that they're rude they're uh in
general again i'm interested very rude to
service people like staff
at restaurants and stores
self-centered greedy
yeah greedy the whole world
oh i'm not even kidding right there's a
lot of people with an
attitude of the boomers f*** it
up for the rest of us type of thing
excuse my friend do you still greatest
generation to boomer
what uh no greatest generation silent
generation boomer gen x so i was raised
by silent generation
probably probably okay yeah yeah no and i
think there's a lot of a
lot of good boomers out there
here's the thing there's a lot of good
boomers but the ones that
aren't are loud about it okay and
so they're the loud ones and then the
other boomers are just living their life
like it like the rest
of us you know but that's what's being
projected onto the younger
generation got it part of it i
think part of it i the is probably very
professionally driven corporate driven in
that there's a lot of
boomers still in management roles and
they're tireless workers
and they expect the same from
the people that they're managing so that
they don't they don't get
the concept of work-life
balance right they expect you to always
be on and that's part of the the
perception i don't know if
it's as much as you you know you're go
down the park and oh let's
stay clear of the boomers
but it's you know that's sort of cool to
see what you guys have heard and it's
good to know because
you know what yeah you don't know right
why do that yeah yeah no
no but i think you are right
because millennials brought the work-life
balance tried to bring the
work-life balance into the
workplace and then gen z's really wanting
that they're you know
their state their their one
have more expectations and um have even
more boundaries and so i
think when there's younger
generations coming into the corporate
world with that attitude and then if
there's boomers that
they're like we go to work we work as
hard as possible you work
over time you work on the
weekends no questions asked they just
don't they yeah they clash and
so and so i think that's also
what's going on you know and i think they
can both learn from each
other yeah but right now there's a
clash and then there's gen x and they're
going wait let's talk this
out come on you guys so um
that on the professional and then and
then on and just when they're
out in the wild it's the the
ones that are rude but they were rude
their whole life that's the thing these
are just rude people
they just happen to be in this generation
it's not a generational thing
there's gen x there's an act
like that you know so but that's why
again i'm so happy you came on
and shared your story because
you're just this awesome guy you know
this is great guy you know
you you you you kind of just
end up with people that you want to be
around and you know do the
right thing you know probably
a lot of that yeah well i think you're
really cool really cool boomer really
cool boomer so again
thank you and just sharing about your
personal life and um again
there's just a lot of wisdom there
and i'm really happy that our listeners
are going to get um get some
exposure to what you have to
share because i know there's someone out
there that will learn
something or there might be other
boomers out there listening that can say
i can totally relate to
that so cool i remember that
you know or oh yeah so um again thank you
so much yeah the impala is
what i was thinking of when
this is the race yes yes the car the car
it was on his mind
that's yeah that's what i mean
yes i'm thinking that for the last couple
of years and good luck with your
daughter's wedding in japan
you are always exciting and with your
grand babies and um with your retirement
that's in the future
and all that stuff so thank you again and
to our listeners please leave any
questions or comments we always love to
hear from you and we
will see you next time bye