# Episode 5 - The Phases of Life

- Podcast: GenX Adulting Podcast
- Published: 2024-09-02T13:00:00.000Z
- Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15678655-episode-5-the-phases-of-life.mp3
- Page: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/transcripts/podcasts/genx-adulting-podcast/episodes/episode-5
- Source: https://genxadultingpodcast.com/episodes/genxadultingpodcastepisode5.html
- People: Brian Barker (host), Nicole Barker (host)

## Summary

In Episode 5 of Gen X Adulting, the hosts discuss the different phases of life, contrasting the structured early years with the more unscripted later stages. They reflect on their experiences as Gen X parents, the evolving nature of relationships, and the importance of personal growth and self-discovery in the second half of life.

## Key takeaways

- The first half of life is often scripted with clear milestones like education, marriage, and parenting.
- The second half of life can feel like an open book, allowing for personal exploration and self-discovery.
- Maintaining friendships and quality relationships becomes increasingly important as we age.
- It's essential to embrace change and take risks to avoid stagnation in life.
- Women often face unique challenges in balancing family responsibilities and personal interests.
- Prioritizing self-care and personal hobbies can lead to a more fulfilling life in later years.
- It's important to have your children's backs, even if it means facing uncomfortable situations.

## FAQ

### What are the phases of life discussed in the episode?

The episode outlines the first half of life as mostly scripted, involving education, marriage, and parenting, while the second half is more unscripted, allowing for personal growth and exploration.

### How can I make the most of the second half of my life?

Focus on self-discovery, embrace change, and prioritize personal interests and hobbies. It's a time to explore what you truly want to do.

### Why is it important to maintain friendships as we age?

Quality friendships provide support and enrich our lives, especially as we navigate the changes that come with aging and empty nesting.

### What advice do the hosts give about parenting in the later stages of life?

They emphasize the importance of having your children's backs and being willing to confront uncomfortable situations for their well-being.

### How do societal expectations affect women in their 50s?

Women often face pressure to prioritize family over personal interests, but the episode encourages them to reclaim their time and pursue their own passions.


## Referenced links

- [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyWZgu9qJ2U)
- [Listen on Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-5-the-phases-of-life/id1764838823?i=1000668055760)
- [Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qkRGVMHDFCFBcwVkh9kTh)
- [Listen on Buzzsprout](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2398379/episodes/15678655-episode-5-the-phases-of-life)

## Transcript

[Music]
Welcome to Gen X Adulting.
This is episode five.
And today we are
talking about stages of life.
And not in some heavy
psychological terms,
but just how the first part of your life
is mostly mapped out
and scripted for us as young kids, right?
And the second half of
our lives and even beyond
are kind of more of an open book, an
unscripted experience.
And...
I mean, so in the beginning of your life,
you go to elementary
school, you go to middle school
or junior high, high school,
and then some people from
there go on to get a job,
and then some people go on to college.
And then the next step,
marriage, kids, raise those kids.
And then you're at the
second part of your life.
This is the traditional way that life has
been set up by our society
for, at least for
Americans, I can say that.
Yeah.
And so for us as Gen X, and probably a
lot of Gen Xers can relate to this,
we're both...
Well, I'm 53, you'll be 53 soon.
I think that we're now to
the point we're raising...
Our youngest is still
here, we're raising him.
Again, I don't know if
we've touched on this yet,
but we have an openness concept of our
family where our kids...
The nest is always open.
They can always return home.
Our daughter lives with us, since
graduated from college last May
while she's working and saving money.
Our oldest son had moved in
with us after graduating college,
moved out and then did move back in
again, and then now he's out.
So we have a kind of a
swinging door philosophy.
Parenting never ends
for us, but that said,
as far as the true hands-on parenting,
we're down to our youngest one
who will be starting
high school in the fall.
And we have more time on our hands, I
guess I could say, to kind of sit back.
I think you and I both
sat back and thought about,
"Okay, how do we want this
second half of our life to go?"
Because it's not mapped out.
This almost feels like
the third part, though,
because you've got the first part you
talked about, the formative years,
elementary school, maybe into college.
You get married, that's sort of the
unscripted part in my mind.
It's not like you grow up thinking,
"Okay, I'll get married to have kids."
You don't really know
what the hell that means.
What it entails, there's plenty of books
on it, but none of it's...
It all just happens and
it becomes kind of a blur.
Now, as we've gotten to
the point we're at now,
this is another unchartered territory, I
guess, different phase.
I'd say there's at least three.
See, and it's funny because I view
children and raising children
as part of that first half outline.
Granted, there's no instruction booklet
for raising children,
and every child is different and every
way of parenting is different.
But that idea of these are the steps you
follow through life.
Having, in general, I know
there's a lot of people out there
that have chosen to be childless or
choosing to be childless,
and a lot of people that are
choosing to not get married.
So I'm using generalities here, and
especially for Gen X.
Well, it's also more your generality or
your truth in a sense.
Yeah, and my generation.
I'm speaking for my generation,
and I think millennials
kind of followed this playbook.
Gen Z, they seem to be kind of changing
the playbook a little bit,
a little more
open-minded about some things.
But so we had steps we took.
We go to school, we graduate.
Some of us go to college, graduate, get
married, have kids, raise our kids.
And then you're, for
some people, empty nesters.
For us, open nesters.
And you have this kind of open...
What's the word?
Just this open playbook or
this blank page, I guess.
It's very unscripted.
It's completely unscripted.
Yeah.
And so I think it's
such an interesting time
where you really can
sit back and either say,
"Okay, I'm just going
to chill and relax."
And I mean, for a lot of people, most
people, you're still working.
And for a lot of us, we're
taking care of elderly parents.
But in general, there is still...
There is a little bit of
that more free time again,
or time at least to kind of
decide what you want to do,
as opposed to just having this obligatory
agenda that you have to follow.
Yeah.
I'm looking forward
to when you just chill.
That's a very nebulous concept.
But I think where you're going is you
have the kids and you grind
and you're all over the place.
And we're still half...
We've got a half a foot in that with a
soon to be high school kid.
But you do have more time.
So it's not like
every weekend is consumed.
It's not like, "Okay,
Saturday, what are we doing?
We're going to play baseball."
Or, "We're going to play soccer."
Or, "There's a dance recital."
Or whatever.
There is...
"Okay, whoa, are weekends actually open?
Okay, cool.
What do we want to do?"
Yeah.
More so, I think that's kind of where
you're going, right?
Yeah.
And also, yes.
And even in the evenings, you're not
giving young children baths anymore.
You're not chasing them around.
There's not that chaos.
Chaos of raising
children is done in general.
I mean, we're going
into high school again.
That's a whole other chaos.
But...
And college.
But that physical...
And maybe I'm speaking as the mother,
because I was a stay-at-home mom.
So most of my time, I went to school, I
went to college, I
got married, I had kids.
And most of my time was
taking care of those children.
So for me, as our last one is becoming
way more independent,
significantly more independent,
it's allowed me to kind of look around my
life and say, "Okay,
wow, what do I want to
do with this next half of my life?"
Now I have written a
book and I am a writer.
I do work part-time writing, but I still
am able to kind of not
reinvent myself, but almost
say, "Okay, well, what do
you want to do now that you...
When you grow up, what do you...
That opportunity?"
Yeah.
Instead of being sad that my time of
raising children is
coming to an end, I'm excited
because I get to kind of
rediscover who I am and what I...
My own thoughts and my own hopes and
dreams just from myself
as opposed to as a mother
or a wife.
I finally have some
space to devote to me.
So I guess, yeah, speaking as a woman and
a mom, that's where I'm at.
It's kind of that, "What do
I want to be when I grow up?"
I'm still wondering that.
I still question, "What do I
want to be when I grow up?"
And I'm not really sure.
It was interesting for the difference
probably in some ways for
us is you're the primary
caregiver and always have been.
And I'm obviously here and
along for the ride, but I also...
I've had hobbies over the
years where you might...
When it's time to maybe where you might
have a hobby, it's like,
"Okay, I need to refuel."
And where I've had hobbies.
So interesting you brought that up
because there's this
phenomenon about asking women
what their hobbies are.
And for those of us who have children and
a lot of women work
outside the home, so you're
working all day and then you're raising
children, there isn't
really as much of a space to have
hobbies.
And it's kind of like, "Well,
my hobbies are that I made..."
You make dinner, I got up, I went to
work, I'm raising children.
Like to your point where you just said,
"My hobby is I got to take a bath alone."
Or, "I got to sit
alone quietly for an hour.
That's my hobby."
Or, "I was alone in the car today."
You think...
Is that a common theme
amongst your group of girlfriends?
Because I'm a serial hobbyist.
You are.
Right?
I've been to photography, gardening,
hydroponic gardening.
We've always had a fish tank forever.
It's been my hobby.
I've had several other... whatever.
I'm a serial hobbyist.
You are.
Yeah.
Do you find...
Do you think your friends
are in that same camp of...
They don't have hobbies, it's just
chilling with a glass of
wine maybe as a hobby or...
And not in a bad way,
but you know what I mean.
Yeah.
I think at least when women are in the
mud, when they're in it,
as I say, when they are
easing the kids and holding down the
house and working and
doing all the things, I don't
think there's time
and energy for a hobby.
Now, some women can pull it off.
I think for some women getting involved
with volunteering in
school, which I did do that
quite a bit when they were younger, but
some women volunteering a lot in school.
Now, some women exercise, like Pilates,
tennis, pickleball, walking.
That would be considered something that
they do, going to the
gym and probably going to
lunch or coffee with your girlfriends.
What you're describing is such a
privileged lifestyle
concept, frame of mind.
Yes.
The thought of, I'm going to go work out.
A lot of people work two,
three, four jobs, right?
The concept of a hobby is
not even really out there.
I don't even think the concept of a
hobby, you're right, by
the way, but I don't even
think the concept of a hobby, when you
compare how men view
hobbies and women, is the same.
Because I think inherently women are
holding down, whether
they're working one job, no
job, one job, two job, three jobs,
they're holding down the
crux of family life, whether
they're married or a single
mom, they're holding it down.
You're doing that until your kids are
pretty much out of the house.
No matter what's going on and whatever
demographic you are, there
really isn't a time for hobbies.
Men will just be like, "I'm
going golfing on Saturday."
Yeah, or fishing.
Or, "I'm going fishing."
They have no problem just dating it.
Women aren't like, "I'm
going golfing on Saturday."
Like women, it would
be like, "Wait, what?
Who's going to watch the kids?
What are you talking about?
How long are you going to be gone?
When are you coming back?
Da da da da.
What am I supposed to do?"
Men can just say it and leave.
And I think that freedom...
It's a beautiful thing.
Right.
Yeah, it's a nice thing.
So I think that freedom allows them to
have quote unquote
hobbies, because they just do
because someone else is holding down the
foundation of the home and existence.
Now, I'm not saying they don't work and
they don't bring in money
because that holds everything
down too.
But I'm talking about more being present.
They just kind of have no issues with
just saying they're
going to go do something and
they do it. And women, with the way our
society is, women just don't do that.
And we also were so
busy doing so many things.
We get so tired that by the time you
could go do something,
most of the time you don't
want to because you're tired.
Yeah. And that's how it is.
So I think when for women, when you get
to that second half of
your life, there's time.
Yeah. You know, it's interesting.
Two things come to mind.
I do agree that it is easier for a guy to
be like, hey, I'm going to go do this and
whatever. And when I think of the people
we know, they're probably...
In a very similar situation, most of your
girlfriends probably
do need to stick around
and take care of things.
But now that you've opened it up, I
think, you know, there's
a lot of people that get
a lot of couples that get divorced at
this stage in their lives, too, right?
Where it's like, all right, put up with
your shit all these years and I'm done.
I'm done with your shit.
I'm done taking care of the house.
I'm out. Yes.
Yeah. It's very interesting.
I know there's a ton of...
There's a lot of women that are done,
that are just like...
Oh, that's what I mean.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
They've had enough.
Yeah.
They're like, I'm done cooking for you,
cleaning for you,
taking care of everything
for you. I'm out.
Yeah.
I'm going to have self-care
now and take care of myself.
I'm done taking care of your shit.
And I think what's interesting about the
Gen Z women in their
20s is a lot of them are
really holding space for that time of
their life to let it be
okay to not be married,
to not be chasing for that relationship
and to let it be their
time, their self-care
time, their me time, where they take the
chances, travel, go
after the different jobs,
get the massage, just
do whatever they want.
Have hobbies.
You know, they have their... read the
books, have the hobbies.
Instead of having to be a placeholder
until you get married,
which is how my generation,
Gen X, we pretty much in general, we
were, okay, we're doing
this until we get married.
Like we're living our
lives until we get married.
Like once you get married is
when your real life starts.
Yeah. Yeah. You settle down.
And then you're like, okay, now I'm doing
what I'm supposed to be
doing, where these Gen X women
are like, no, this is
a real part of my life.
This isn't a
placeholder until I get married.
I am honoring this time of my life.
I love it.
I admire it.
And I find it just inspiring.
I really find them inspiring.
So I think for women that are Gen X, that
it sounds like a TikTok thing,
where a bunch of women your age are out
there posting TikTok videos on this
topic, would you say?
I haven't seen them.
Flexing their independence or their...
I'm in charge now type of thing.
No, I haven't seen a lot of that on
TikTok, but I have definitely seen some
stuff like women have
just, they're done, you know, and they
want to have their own time.
Like, as I was about to say,
You're telling me something here?
Yeah, no, not yet.
Yeah, I sense it.
But for Gen X women, I feel like we are
just now realizing, hey,
we deserve our own time too.
We're more than a wife, we're more than a
mother, and we're more
than whatever position we hold
at whatever job we're working.
So do you think that
perspective is unique to Gen X?
But you think the boomers were like that,
where they had that epiphany that, okay,
the kids are out, it's time to...
I'm in an openness.
They probably, they define
the concept of openness, right?
The boomers go out.
No, no, they were emptiness.
They're like, get out, don't come back.
Openness.
That's what I mean.
They define the concept of emptiness.
Right.
And the sign generation.
You're done.
That's now morphed into, we're entering
that phase as a generation of Gen X.
Right.
So it's almost that those two
generations, I wonder if the next one
will be more like that or not.
Millennials.
Yeah, it feels like what you're saying.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
I don't think, no, I don't think boomers.
I think boomers...
They're still too young to
be in that phase too, but...
Millennials for sure.
I think boomers just kind of were like,
yeah, our kids are get out.
Now we're going to go
do what we want to do.
We're done.
Like they did that traditional retired
life, you know, typically
together if they're so married.
I'm not saying there isn't boomer women
out there that are living
the life and going on girls'
trips and stuff.
I've seen it.
There is.
There's for sure.
Sure.
And they're loving it.
They're loving not being
with her, being married anymore.
And I think Gen X is following suit in
that a lot of women
are like, you know what?
I did my time and I'm
going to honor myself now.
I took care of everybody.
And but that...
You think it's the women, so sort of the
women driving this more so
than the men or I'm oblivious
in some ways to the concept here.
I think maybe.
Yeah, it could be.
It could be because even
women, I'm married, right?
I think it has to do with if they're, if
the women are divorcing,
that's obviously they stayed
married for the children.
Right.
You and I have the unique experience of
we were good friends
for three years before we
got married.
That friendship is what has been the
foundation of our marriage.
We've been married 30 years this year.
That friendship is what has gotten us
through the good and the bad.
And obviously we love each other very
much, but it can't
survive on just that love alone.
There has to be that friendship.
So and we've always done.
We've gone to see live music together.
We've done things together.
We hike together.
So I think you have to maintain some sort
of friendship through
your marriage or else
once the kids are gone, you're going to
look at each other and
not even know who the hell
you each you're going
to be like, who are you?
And I'm tired of being with you.
There's nothing there.
So I think these women drop the weight
and we're like the extra
baggage and we're like,
I'm done cooking for
you, taking care of it.
Because I think there's definitely a
significant amount of men that don't
appreciate the women
that are in their lives.
You know, I do.
So these women are like, you know what,
I'm going to I'm going to go do the
things I always wanted
to do. And I guess for me
personally, I'm married.
I'm happily married and I still have my
youngest here, but he'll be gone soon.
But I have time to kind of look around
and say, OK, I can actually.
What do I want?
Like, what do I like?
And when you've raised children for so
long and held down a home
and and worked and done all
things, sometimes you forget what you
like and what you like to do.
It's hard.
It's it's not that you vicariously live
through your kids, but you
give over so much to raising
them that you kind of
lose part of yourself.
So it's almost like getting to know
yourself again and what you
like and what you want to do
and taking chances.
I think it's so
important to keep taking chances.
So with with all this being
said, what's your big move?
Do you have one?
Well, I think you're you're
listening to it right now.
You know, the podcast,
you know, is is one thing.
This podcast is is a leap and it's
exciting and it's different.
It's something we can do together in this
next half of our life.
And so I'm really enjoying it.
I think you are as well.
I've significantly changed my lifestyle
in the last two
years, my health lifestyle.
You know, I think that's something to do
a podcast on are the
things that we've done
over the last two years to significantly
change our lifestyle
because we plan on being around
God willing for our grandchildren and
truly growing old together.
So I've changed my lifestyle and then I
want to start vlogging, you
know, and getting into that,
you know, and I know it sounds kind of
cliche because like
everyone's doing this stuff,
right?
But for at least speaking for myself,
I've never done these things before.
This is as a Gen X or
this is new technology to me.
I'm not a technical person at all.
The exact opposite of you.
So even like learning technical things
like that's brand new to my mind.
So that's something.
Yeah, it's interesting because I've
always been technical.
I'm actually I go to more of the analog
side of things, you know, yeah,
meaning developing film as opposed to
being in Photoshop
messing around when I'm doing
photography, right?
Developing black and white film.
It's kind of fun, right?
Hydroponic gardening or even just just
gardening and landscaping,
getting your your hands dirty.
Yeah.
I think.
Yeah.
Well, because your job is technical.
So to balance out, yeah, your mind is
also never not going.
Yeah.
So you need a bunch of hobbies to satisfy
your highly curious person.
Yeah.
So you need that.
You personally need that.
Those are your outlets.
Yeah.
Whereas I'm the opposite.
Like I want to just relax and do nothing
because I because for
30 years I've been going,
going, going, going.
Yeah.
And then when I could get a chance to not
do anything, I didn't
want to do anything.
And now I guess I feel like I actually
have the energy to
start to do some things.
Yeah.
But yeah, for you like, like, okay, so
you have all these hobbies.
Not now that we're not involved as much
with the kids now, La
Crosse season's about to start.
So that's going to change our world's
about to get spun upside down.
But then it'll slow down again.
What are some things that you're finding
or planning on doing more of?
Or are there any is there anything that
you've made some more space for?
In the second part of our life?
I would say this.
I I'm enjoying this.
I'm just going to be fun.
Yeah.
You know, hopefully there's an
entertainment or at least
an intrigue value in it.
I like the idea of the vlogging as well,
because it's it's interesting to kind of
capture the things you've done.
And I've never kept a journal.
So I don't, you know, I don't have a
recorded history of my life.
I have taken a ton of pictures.
And so I look at pictures over time and
that tells my story.
Excuse me.
I think I'm kind of down for some getting
into more live music.
You know, we actually just bought tickets
to see Billy Strings in Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
So I mean, that's
going to be kind of fun.
Yeah.
But expect it to be right.
So, you know, that and and, you know, I
as a serial hobbyist,
right, I go in and out, right.
I get into photography pretty big.
And then I'll shift to my into gardening.
And I, you know, so those two things.
And we own a 1976 Volkswagen bus.
And I think that's on your list of
wanting to start working on that again.
Because if you own a Volkswagen bus,
you're never not working on it.
But you've taken a
significant break from that.
Yeah, I have.
It's been a couple of years.
It's been quite a while.
Yeah.
So and that'd be fun to
drive that around again.
Yeah, totally.
You know, no, I think it's I think it's
an important part of,
okay, so speaking, we've been married for
30 years and we did all these things.
In the timeline, it was
supposed to be done, I guess.
Now we're in the second part of our life.
And it's like, okay, so we get to kind of
figure out how our relationship continues
in the second part of our life.
It's still centered around our children
and hopefully someday grandchildren.
But we get to kind of come full circle
and do things like you're
saying we're going to go up
to Pennsylvania to see Billy
Strings just the two of us.
That's unusual.
Usually we have the kids with
us when we do any traveling.
So we're coming full circle
to do things together again.
And I think that's important as you get
to that phase where your kids
are leaving that you kind of
get that relationship of just the two of
you maintain that again and
do new and exciting things.
You know, and and I think as you get
older, trying new things
also forces your brain to
continue to think and grow.
That that helps with Alzheimer's
dimension, all of that.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
To not get in a rut where you're just,
okay, now the kids are gone.
We're going to just sit and
watch TV and not do anything.
I think it's important to stay active so
that your everything in
your brain keeps going and
stay strong.
It's like exercising that too.
Well, it's funny you say that when I was
in college, I worked
for a retired couple who
from Southern California to Southern
Oregon and helped them
build out their their property,
right?
We were putting in we built a barn built
pigeon to, you know, things like that.
And I used to think and he the guy I
worked for retired early.
I think he retired
either 50 or 55 years old.
And I used to think he would get up every
day at like 5 30 or so
and start and he was worth
millions of dollars.
And I used to think, you know, why, why
doesn't he why isn't he just chilling?
Yeah, you know, as you get older, it's
like, you just don't chill.
Your mind never stops.
And it kept him going.
It kept him young and in shape.
I think now more than ever at our age,
it's so important to keep
moving, keep going, because
it's what it's what helps you continue to
go and to live and stay
and stay up with everything.
Even even professionally speaking, too,
though, it's not a hobby, but it's
there's a balancing act.
But the technology today that I work
within, right, it's, you
know, this all this stuff
was going on in the cloud with with with
Microsoft Azure and Amazon's AWS and
Google's cloud and AI.
It's all really interesting stuff.
Yeah.
And so that that too is
very thought provoking.
And I guess my hobby in some ways there
is I'm I own at least 10
different raspberry pies.
Yeah, yes.
You know, so I've had a
lot of fun with those.
But, you know, it's bringing what's going
on in the world at a larger technological
level and playing with it at home.
IOT, right, IOT is the Internet of Things
and things like a
remote controllable doorknob.
I, you know, I think that stuff's cool.
Right.
The video cameras in the house and not in
the house, but outside the property,
being able to automate the sprinkler
system or things like that.
You know, I think
that's kind of fun stuff.
Yeah, no.
So I think for you professionally and
thankfully with
technology always changing,
it has continued to challenge you.
Yeah.
So it's interesting because you can
completely reinvent yourself at our age.
I would say you have to.
Yeah, we talk we did this once before,
but professional advice.
Yeah.
Continue to reinvent yourself, especially
as you get older and there's kids coming
up behind you that are,
quite frankly, smarter.
At least they're more in tune with things
like AI and the cloud
services and stuff like that.
They grew up on phones.
You have to continue to reinvent yourself
and learn stuff and
find fun in the new stuff.
Yeah, I think it's imperative.
The founder of Girl Scouts started Girl
Scouts, I think, at the
age of 52 or something.
I think Sam Walton didn't open Walmart
until he was maybe in his 50s.
Yeah, which is crazy.
It is.
There's this idea that if you haven't,
you know, I feel like
especially for kids,
there's this pressure on them to you need
to know what you want to
do before you go to college.
And then while you're in college, you
need to focus on that
major and graduate with that.
And then you go into that line of work
and that's what you do.
And I think it's so important that to
understand that it's a fluid thing.
You're always growing up.
Yeah, we're we're in our 50s.
Well, the best is yet to come.
And the best is always yet to come.
We're in our 50s.
And I still feel like
we are still growing up.
I know that younger people look at us
that like people our age.
And then we have it figured
out and we have the answers.
We do not.
We are literally
figuring it out as we go along.
Most people older than you are figuring
it out as they're going along.
And so it never changes.
So never, never feel pressure to be like,
okay, I'm going to be this.
I'm going to be this
for the rest of my life.
Because everything ebbs and flows and you
have to be open to
that change that growth.
And other things may interest you and you
should always go for it.
As much as you can, obviously, if you're
the breadwinner, you
need to work your job.
If you're the one that brings in health
insurance, you need to work your job.
If you're working three jobs,
you have to keep working those.
But if you can, make some space for other
hopes and dreams in there.
It's not like you get to this finish sign
when your kids are
raised and you get a medal.
And you did it.
Like life is still continuing.
Well, what's the, I think
it's the John Lennon quote,
life is happening while
you're busy making other plans.
Life is what happens to you while you're
busy making other plans.
And it's so true.
And so you get to that.
And I think a lot of people, I'm talking
about people who have children.
A lot of people raise their kids and then
are kind of like, well, now what do I do?
Especially women.
But what this was my
life now, what do I do now?
And it's this emptiness.
And so I think it's understanding to
whatever you want to
do, like, it's your time.
And challenge yourself
and reinvent yourself.
And I wonder sometimes this whole idea of
mapping out our lives up
until really age 50 or whatever
is because life expectancy was so
different, even a hundred years ago.
You know, I mean, we're
living now so much longer.
No, it's a wild concept, right?
Because it's not far fetched for us to
think we'll make it to say 85.
Another 30, 35 years.
Yeah.
And that seems far more reasonable now
than I don't know if you even think about
it, say 10 years ago.
But yeah, I mean, no, I, well, 50 used to
seem old, but now 50 feels like 40.
Totally.
I can't even tell the younger people how
much 50 does not feel old.
It just does not at all
before you know it, you'll be 50.
Yeah.
You're like, wow, we're those people.
Yeah, totally.
You know, but I think
life expectancy has changed.
And so there is truly a second act.
Yeah.
God willing, right?
Not for everybody.
I mean, my God, look what happened with
your dad and my dad, right?
They died way earlier
than they should have.
So life does happen in those situations.
And that's why you should live every day
to the fullest if you can.
But in general, there is this whole other
part of life that happens.
And I don't, I just think it's
fascinating to kind of wake up one day
and look around and think,
oh, okay, so I can really take a breath
and look and think, what do I want to do?
What do I want to do with this time?
And I think it's important to give back
to as much as you can.
Oh, I was just about to say that I was
waiting for you to pause,
but that's a big thing, right?
You reach a point where you have some
wisdom you can impart on others just
through your experience.
And so those opportunities
are out there, mentorships.
Really, mentorships
are volunteering, right?
A lot of volunteering happens.
You see a lot of older folks in various
charities organizing
things that are good.
Yeah.
That is a huge thing.
It is when you give back.
And I do find interestingly with
friendships, the older I've gotten,
the more, the more quality friendships
matter to me versus quantity.
And the less time and patience I have for
inauthenticity in a
friendship is I have so
much time set aside for these
friendships, my, especially my women
friends, I cherish them.
I cherish them.
They are so important to me and vital,
but my patience and time
for what I will put up with
every year I get older, it diminishes
what I'll put up with.
It's really changed.
That has changed a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, no doubt.
And that's the ruffles feathers too.
Yeah.
That causes some drama and it is, you
know, you have that takes
some courage to be able to say,
this doesn't serve me
anymore, or this is toxic to me.
And I don't have to
put up with it anymore.
I can end this.
I can stop this person
from having access to my life.
It's okay.
I do think that's part of more of the
unscripted aspect of things, right?
It's off script to not put up with
bullshit to a point depends
on what your early script was.
I think our kids are probably scripted to
not put up, not have the same tolerance
probably as we did.
But the world's changed in that sense.
That's I yeah, like I say, I think that's
part of that unscripted aspect.
Well, I think that when you get to a
point in your life that
you will not put up with
certain things from people, you know,
people don't like that.
And it can offend some people.
It can cause some people to talk behind
your back, all that
stupid high school stuff.
But I think it's important to do it
because you almost don't realize how
toxic the situation was.
Until you have removed yourself from it,
or you remove that person from your life.
And to your point, we raised our kids to
have that skill as much as they can.
I wasn't raised like that.
But as you're raising children, you also
have a pretty wide group of friends.
And then as, as they get older, you're
able to kind of narrow it
down to the quality friendships
that you gain there.
You don't have to be everybody's friend.
Yeah.
And that, and some people are offended by
that or find it rude, but it's healthy.
At least I can speak for myself.
It's healthier to, it's okay to say no.
It's okay to say this
doesn't serve me in my life.
It was there for a season,
but now it's okay to let it go.
Letting people go is
so healthy and so okay.
I think, I think it's Alex or Gozi.
I haven't watched his podcast in a little
while, but he was,
he's talked about that.
How he's had friends over the years and
he's more about probably business, right?
And he's one of those guys who's more
about how to succeed, how to make money.
Very interesting.
I've checked him out.
Maybe we'll put a link in or something on
the bottom of like the podcast or on
YouTube or something.
He talks about that.
He's like, you only have so much time in
your life and he focuses
on his quality relationships
and then we'll allocate, allocate in this
sort of that mechanical
sense of it, but make sure to
spend an hour a month or an hour every
two months or an hour, a quarter,
whatever it is with those
primary context, the people he gets the
most out of the rest.
They're done.
They're gone.
And it's not a callous thing.
It's just a matter of, look, there's only
so much time in our
lives that you want to
derive value out of the
relationships you have.
Yes.
And I think that as the more time you put
towards your quote unquote
hobbies or the space you've
set aside for yourself, that in addition
to the time you give to
your family, to your work,
there it's right.
You're right.
Only 24 hours in a day.
There's only so much time.
And I feel like through the last 30 years
raising kids, I've, I've
made lots of acquaintances,
friends, been running around crazy
because the kids do all
these different things,
but it gets to the point where you're
like, okay, there has
to be some balance here.
And it's healthy to say, this is who I'm
going to give my quality time to.
Yeah.
And it, and just because I'm not maybe
your friend anymore,
maybe we're just acquaintances
or we don't even talk anymore.
Doesn't mean I wish you ill will.
It just means we were in each other's
lives for that time,
but it's okay to move on.
It's okay to move on.
It's okay to let people go, especially if
those people are toxic or
abusive, you have to let
them go.
You have to let them go.
If you're going to grow at all, you have
to make space for what is for you.
And if you don't cut out what isn't for
you, what is for you will never come.
You have to create that space.
Yeah.
But I don't even think it's as callous as
how that could sound, right?
It just happens.
There's only 24 hours in a day and it's
filled mostly with
commitments that are non-negotiable.
You need to sleep.
So there goes, let's say,
you know, six to eight hours.
Hopefully.
If you're lucky.
Yeah.
You might, if you're working, that's at
least, you know, eight to 10 hours.
Um, so there goes most of your day.
If you have kids, there's some stuff
going on there, whether
it's homework or activities
or whatever.
So there's not a, you got to eat.
Yeah.
You know, so before you know it, your,
your day is pretty well consumed.
Yeah.
But you know, what's interesting is women
will always make time to
meet up with other women
or talk with other women.
We'll find time for that.
So yes, all those things.
But still that time you spend with other
women is a finite resource.
It is.
So you have to choose carefully.
Yes.
I, I, yeah.
Speaking as a woman, so vital, especially
at this point in my
life, like I said, I'm
only spending time with, with women who
are going to, who are
kind of in the same.
Fill your cup.
Fill my cup.
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
Cause you also, I think when she reached
our, reach our age, you kind of face your
mortality more and time, how much time
you have left, just by
redundant, is really in
your staring you in the face.
And so you don't really want to give up
any more precious time
to anyone undeserving.
Totally agree.
You know, hell yeah.
Like I've never thought of my mortality
until maybe even just recently.
Yeah.
Honestly, it's weird.
It's like you, something goes on.
There's a light and it's like, well,
shit, I don't really have that much time.
Yeah.
So I don't want to sleep really, right?
I don't want to sleep in
till, you know, past eight.
Right.
That's like sleeping in.
Right.
Um, I don't want to necessarily go to bed
and it's not this fear, right?
It's just the, and it's, it's not a FOMO.
It's, it's just a weird thing.
It's like, okay, I'm in this second,
third phase of my life.
It's not as, you know,
what do I want to do?
I want to maximize this.
Yeah.
You want to use every minute of it.
Yeah.
Of quality time.
You want it.
So you know that there's
only so much time left.
So you want to honor, honor it.
You want to honor all
the time you have left.
Yeah.
And I've never felt that way before.
Me neither.
So like you said, I, it
was right after I turned 50.
And that's when we made
the big lifestyle changes.
You know, I, at least I did.
But when I turned 50 is when I, I made
the decision to, it was a big health kit,
health decision for us.
We made a lot of health decisions because
we realized you can't keep doing some of
the things you're doing when you're in
your thirties and
twenties, thirties and forties.
Expect to live to 85, 90, 95.
It's just not going to happen.
Yeah.
And it was really looking at ourselves in
the mirror and saying, okay,
do you want to be an active grandparent?
Do you want to be together at 85?
You know, so
it's not only that, but like, I don't
want to be confined to a wheelchair.
Yeah.
I don't want to be confined to taking
meds every day that
makes that regulate my body.
I want to be able to move around.
Want to be able to do stuff.
You want to be active.
You want to be active.
Yeah.
You need to be, honestly, health is the
only thing you have.
It is the end of the day.
It's your health.
Yes.
So you've, you know,
And as you're young, you can do more wear
and tear on your body
and still bounce back.
But I'm sure people in their forties are
getting a clue as to
what we're talking about,
especially women.
They start hitting perimenopause in their
forties and that's a
whole ravaging thing.
So it's just, it's a
lot that starts happening.
But I just think for the second half, I
mean, it's just, that is the theme.
It's honoring the time.
Honoring the time.
One of my younger coworkers went to the
doctor because his foot hurt.
And I'm like, well, I started asking
questions, but you
know, what are the symptoms?
Well, you know, it just hurts in the
morning or something.
I was like, dude, welcome to getting old.
That's like, that's what I call Monday.
Yes.
Not just the foot, it's the
elbow or the back or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
Just by moving around, it'll cure itself.
I think that's the main thing is to stay
active, stay moving, use
your mind, use your brain,
and take risks, take challenges.
Um, don't be scared.
Don't be fearful because this is it.
Yeah.
Well, this is even this alone, right?
We're doing this podcast.
People know us.
You put yourself out there.
Yeah.
Touch on some topics that
will open us up for some hate.
Yeah.
Some people may agree.
Others will not agree.
Yeah.
Some people will be nice.
Some people will be
completely horrendous.
Yeah.
And, you know, you just open yourself up.
But it's in that sense, it's kind of fun.
It's new.
It's different.
I've always been camera shy.
Yeah.
I don't like to be in the spotlight.
I'm just not about that.
You're not about that at all.
You don't even like to
leave the house really.
I would not that bad.
But yeah, well, need a two week notice
before we go to dinner or something.
But I just saw a
quote from Jerry Seinfeld.
He said, no matter it was, I'm not
quoting literally, but,
or verbatim, but he said,
what you're doing, just focus on that and
work your hardest on that.
Don't worry about what anyone else is
doing, what anyone's
saying, anyone else's opinions.
He's like, just pick your
thing and work on that thing.
And that's all that
matters and you'll be fine.
And just the rest of it,
it just doesn't matter.
He's like, none of that matters.
Has nothing to do with anything.
You just work on what you want to do.
And it's true.
You can't worry about
what that's another thing.
I don't care what other.
I guess this is part of also
the second half of my life.
I don't care what anyone thinks about me.
I haven't though for a long time.
And I think that's part
of that's a Gen X thing.
But even Gen Xers at times have cared
what people think about them.
But that part of me that's
Gen X is like raging now.
Like I really don't care what anyone I'm,
I'm a kind, courteous person.
I'm a nice person, thoughtful, all that.
So I'm not out there being a jerk, but I
don't care about people's judgments.
I really don't.
Now it's an interesting thing because
when you come across people who do,
it's there's friction.
Absolute friction in
that, that situation.
Yeah.
Like what's an example of that?
Like hypothetically,
doesn't have to be a real one.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
I don't want to offend anyone.
Yeah.
It's just a tough one.
I can't, I can't even think of one
because it's, it would be more personal.
I'm just thinking more like in the, in,
in our small world around what people's
interests are versus our interests, the
weight they put into those interests,
the pressure they put on their kids and
what they think is important.
At the end of the day, it's, it's not,
you know, there,
everything that your kids are
going through now when they're 12, 13,
14, they're formative.
It definitely has an impact.
But I can guarantee you it's not the,
it's not the most
important thing in the world.
Right.
Feel like it.
And, you know, um, but it's just not.
And it's important to
honor it for those kids.
Cause to them, it feels like everything,
whatever they're going through.
But I guess that's probably, maybe that's
a good example would
be just that we're not
living vicariously through our kids.
We're living with them.
And then we take an
interest in what they're doing.
We enjoy the music they like.
We go to music with them.
And, but, and they're a reflection of us,
but we're not living through them.
So sports would be one thing, right?
It's not like, you know, we're not
looking for our kids to become
professional athletes
and never have.
So there's the difference because there
are parents like that.
Right.
And yeah, and, and, or singing or
whatever it might be.
Right.
And, and we're not saying that if you're
wanting your kid to be
a professional athlete
or singer or actor, whatever, you're not
vicariously living through them.
We're not saying that you are vicariously
living through your kids.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
It's just for us, that's not our thing.
But I think, you know, it's, I think if
you're going to chase those dreams,
you can't care what others think.
But I think in so many ways you have to,
it's just like this weird thing.
What do you mean?
Like for people to chase those dreams of
wanting to be a professional athlete
or wanting to be famous in anything, you
have to care what others think
because they're judging you on your
skills and performance.
And then you have to not care what they
think in order to chase that dream
or else your insecurities would paralyze
you and you would never chase the dream.
It's an interesting war.
In that sense, I think you're getting
into bouncing back from failure
or having short term memory.
Yes.
I was thinking more of the parents who
think that they're on the field.
More so than the
athlete or singer chasing it.
Professional athletes and singers are
totally from a different mold.
Yes.
You know, I was looking at the Caitlin
Clark recently in her workout.
It's insane.
Yeah.
It's why she's so good.
Yeah.
It's amazing the dedication she puts into
it, the reps of taking a jump shot.
It's amazing.
Kobe, right?
I don't know if you know this.
I'm sure you do.
You've heard us talk about it.
But Kobe gets the games when
he was still playing, right?
Gets the games before everybody.
And when the game's over, win or lose,
he's there for like another hour or two.
Guy's an animal.
Yeah.
And you know, that's cool.
It takes a certain mindset.
Yeah.
It does.
No.
Yeah.
If you're, yes.
And so if you're talking about parents
who are in the thick of it,
like in elementary school,
middle school, even high school
and kind of vicariously
living through their kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not it.
That's not it.
Like that's all going to end and your
kids go to college or they get a job.
And then, you know, you
have to keep living your life.
Yeah.
You know, so it's, but it's so easy to
fall into the trap of all that.
There's so much FOMO and everything.
But I do think that's part of, you know,
you were saying it's
the best part of your
scripted piece from, you know, high
school or elementary
school and having kids.
To me, that part becomes unscripted
because sure, on a, at a kind
of at the macro level or the
theme level, yeah, you're parenting,
you've got kids,
you're doing all this stuff,
but you have to maintain some sense of
self-identity through all that.
Yes.
Right.
And that's, that's a big piece, but in
order to maintain your own self-identity,
you have to be able to, you don't just
follow along with the herd.
Yes.
But that's challenging.
And that's where you're
talking about causing friction.
That causes friction.
Yes.
Yes.
For sure.
There's times we haven't
followed along with the herd.
I'd say most of our life would spend,
it's not been a
frictionless existence in that sense.
No, because we, when something is no
longer serving us,
we, we move on from it.
Yeah.
We do.
And, or if it's not serving our children,
we don't, we have no problem with that.
The other piece too, though, I think we
talked about this in one of our episodes.
You might know when I mentioned the
topic, but we were
younger parents, so we were
automatically had some friction because
we didn't, weren't
five, 10 years younger than
the people we were hanging out with.
And now we become
somewhat of the older parents.
And so there's slight friction there.
It's an interesting concept
and friction is not conflict.
It's just in
incongruence of ideas or actions.
Yeah.
And there you go.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
But I think it's, I do think it's hard to
walk away from
certain things and to be the
only one maybe that walks away from
something or makes a
different decision than others.
You know, that, oh, a hundred percent,
you know, that that's not easy, but
it definitely is more rewarding.
And like I said, it's made space for what
was supposed to come,
come into our lives.
You have to make that space.
If you hold onto the staleness, the new
stuff will not come.
You're not on your authentic journey.
If you're holding on to something, be
just because of the
fear of letting it go,
whether it's an experience, whether it's
a job, whether it's a
hobby, whether it's friends,
whether it's a relationship.
And I think getting into our fifties and
into this phase of our
life, at least for me,
it's been easier to make that space and
let the staleness go.
Yeah.
I'm not worried about it anymore at all.
I wasn't too worried to begin with, but
now I don't, I'm not
worried at all about it.
You know, another thing on the career
front, I remember, you
know, we talked about this,
I think in episode two or three, some of
the career moves I had made, right?
That was episode one, I think.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I remember being at a job and leaving and
people were like, what
are you leaving here?
Well, it's like, we're
not making any money guys.
Right.
And then go into this next
gig and then leaving again.
And it's like, well,
why are you doing it?
We're making okay money, but
you know, I've got a family.
I'm not here to no
offense, but we'll be friends.
We can be friends, but not here.
And so a lot of people get comfortable
and they're not willing to change.
And that's part of their script, right?
In some ways what you're talking about or
this, this topic in
many ways is they, they
get on their path, they're on script and
the thought of being
off the script is very
intimidating and very fear inducing.
Yeah.
I feel like we've never been on a script.
I feel like we've always
been off script in that sense.
Well, it's interesting because I feel we
have been on a script
because we both went to the
same schooling all the way through.
Then we got married.
Then we had kids.
We raised our kids.
So for you though, to be, where was I
going to go with this?
Your background you've talked about is
how chaotic it was, right?
My childhood.
Your childhood is way
more chaotic than mine.
Yes.
So it's, this is interesting actually
because yours was so
chaotic and you kind of got on a
script of parenting and
wifeing and raising kids.
Yes.
Whereas I was on a script.
Mine was tight.
I was, you know, there are a lot of order
in my life as a young
guy to becoming more the
breadwinner.
That's completely off script.
So now the answers are never right there.
It's like, here's what's next.
Here's what's next.
It's like, what's next?
Right.
So we flip flops.
We did flip flop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because even though I was following a
loose script, because I
went to elementary school,
middle school, high school, college, that
is part of the script, right?
It was a very loose, chaotic script
because my life, my
childhood was just crazy.
Yeah.
So then once I got into being married and
motherhood, that became a very welcoming
script for me.
I liked having the script.
I liked the predictability.
I liked that every day was kind of, even
though it was crazy
raising kids and all that,
there was like consistency to it.
And I loved all of that.
So where you had that consistency growing
up, and then now you're the breadwinner
and not knowing what
is going to come next.
You're right.
We flip flop completely.
Another thing you were talking about
change and how people in their scripts
are fearful of change.
They like their script to be a certain
way and they don't
deviate off the script at all.
They kind of follow that script.
And then when they get to that quote
unquote, end of the
marathon, when their kids are raised
and they're kind of looking at each
other, that may be why
some, a lot of marriages do
end at that point because there is no,
the road ended for them
because they were following
a script so tightly and now there's no
script and they have no
tools on how to move forward.
You know, whereas you're saying like we
would continue to challenge ourselves or
walk away from toxic situations or not be
part of the herd, even
through those years where we
were on a technical script, we kept
exercising those skills of
walking away and leaving things
that were no longer serving us and
embracing change, even
though it was scary at times,
not being fearful.
So we were constantly still
changing within our script.
So then once we got to the, are getting
to the point now where that
part of our life is ending,
it doesn't scare us because we've been
kind of taking those leaps
and bounds a little bit here,
a little bit there during
the time of raising our kids.
But if, but if you stick, if you hold
onto your security
blankets through living this
first half of your life script and you
don't take those chances,
then when you get to that end of
when you're raising your kids and you're
kind of looking at each
other, that could be really scary
because what do you do now?
It's almost like, what do we do now?
Yeah.
And that could be very overwhelming.
Yeah.
Especially if you haven't
maintained a friendship.
I can't imagine settling down per se.
And maybe that's not an apparent thing.
We probably look like
we have settled down.
I don't plan on this
being our last house.
I think you might.
I know I probably don't.
I love this house.
Yeah.
And I love being here, but at some point
it's just not going to work
just because it's crazier.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
We're in South Florida.
Everybody knows that by now.
But to your point, if you keep changing,
if you stay dynamic, I
think, and keep changing the
script in sense or keep
writing the script, right?
You know, for me, I grew up on the East
coast, went to the West coast.
We moved to the Midwest back to the West
coast, back to the East coast.
And then now we're in Southeast.
That's different.
It's just different.
And you too, though, you grew up on the
West coast when, you
know, when Midwest West East,
you know, so it's just different.
No, I think we've always
kind of, we've tweaked things.
We keep tweaking things, you know, even
as we, like you said,
we've traveled, we've moved.
Well, we've moved.
I wouldn't say we're huge.
We drove around the country for two and a
half months after
college, but we're not like world
travelers or anything.
And we've traveled for
lacrosse, but we've moved a lot.
But even so in other situations, whether
it's interpersonal
relationships, friendships,
we've tweaked them.
We keep tweaking and changing things.
I think it's great to those like, we've
met some really cool people.
Oh yeah.
It's wild because I think we both know
people from our high school
hometowns that are still there.
Yeah.
We also know people who are
out and about and not there.
Right.
And then by moving, we've met people
that, you know,
especially in South Florida, no one
that we know really,
there's only a few natives, right?
Most people are from other
parts of the country or world.
So you meet a lot of really cool,
dynamic, interesting people.
Even up in New Jersey, you know, we we've
known that is one
thing when you have kids
and you're raising them by default, you
get to know other
parents and you really get to
know some awesome people, kind people,
you know, every most
people want the same thing.
We just want the best for our kids.
That really is it.
You will meet some
toxic people through it.
And even their intentions are they want
the best for their kids.
Just the way they're going about it isn't
doesn't jive with me.
But so we all want that, right?
But there are some really
awesome people out there.
I cherish the people we've met along our
journey, you know, and
I would welcome running
into a lot of them in the future.
I would hope I would.
And I think that's that's such a gift
from having kids as you get
to know all these parents.
And in there, I mean, in there, I will
say I have some of my best
friends and I cherish them.
So but I think it's important as you're
going in that journey
to not get too settled in
to what you're doing and
to not be afraid of change.
Don't be afraid of change and to take
risks for your family and to
always have your kids back.
It's hard to have
your kids back sometimes.
A lot of people don't don't like
confrontation and a lot of people don't
want to be the bad guy.
Yeah.
But no one is going to have
your kids back except you.
Yeah.
So if it means you might lose a friend or
two, you still need
to have your kids back.
That is your job as a parent.
Yeah.
100 percent.
I stand by that.
Yeah.
You know, it's very important.
You know, it's an interesting
one because we've, you know,
count the number of conflicts I've had in
my adult life and probably one hand.
They've probably all been related to
something in that front with your kids,
defending your kids,
standing up for your kids.
Yeah.
You don't have to always make it right
for other people's kids.
If it's at the cost of your own kid.
Yeah.
And that's a, you know, that's honestly
some serious advice for
younger parents, I guess.
Yeah.
I think it's a great call.
You have to protect your kids.
And it can make you don't who will.
Exactly.
It can, it can make things uncomfortable,
but in the, you will see looking back,
it was all for the right reasons and
things are better from it.
Things are always better from it.
It's just in the moment, it can feel
super uncomfortable and scary.
But as a result of us continuing to
change and take on new things when we
could here and there,
I think by the time we got to this phase
in our life, we were
kind of ready to say,
okay, and look what we did.
I mean, like we're trying all these new
things and we really
didn't hesitate too long.
In fact, I'm like always thinking of
what's something else we can do.
Yeah.
You know, it's, I find it, I'm hoping and
I'm confident that this
next half of our life is
going to be exciting and fun.
And I'm excited.
Like I'm really excited
about it, no matter what we do.
Yeah.
I think life's always an adventure.
So you have to treat it that way.
Yeah.
But I, I personally, I guess as a mom,
finally have some time to breathe and
look around and say,
okay, yeah, I can't, I can do that.
I can go.
It needs to be mowed and there's some
weeds in the flower beds.
Yeah.
But no, I can say, oh yeah, I can go on
that hike on Sunday.
And I know there's moms that have been
doing that as they raise
kids and God bless them.
I just, I wasn't one of those.
I was always busy with my kids and I will
say I did not carve out
probably as much time as I
should have as a mom.
So that's some advice
I'd give if you can.
But now that I can, I'm taking full
advantage of it whenever I can.
I'm claiming some of my own space.
I think we did good when we were on
script, but I'm excited to
be off script now in this
next phase of our life and kind of just
write our own screenplay
in a way that's unique.
Yeah.
You're talking like we're retired.
I know.
I got to go to work Monday.
I know.
I know.
Well, that's, that's a whole nother,
whole nother part of our life.
So, so yeah.
Those are our thoughts about the first
half and the second half
of what we had going on
in our lives in the past and
what we're looking forward to.
Yeah.
All right.
If anyone can relate, share comments or
questions or we'd love to hear from you.
I would love to hear
others point of view on this.
Yeah.
In the, in the context
of, did you follow a script?
Are you coming out of that script?
Have you always been kind of a little
over all over the place
and then just having it
evolve?
I think there's an
element for everybody to both.
Yeah.
They'd be curious, you know, get some
perspective on that.
And people who choose not to have
children, they have a
totally different script.
People who are single their whole life
have a totally different script.
Yeah.
I'd love to hear those scripts because I
only know our script or,
and others who are like us,
you know, and there's single moms and
single dads who have a,
completely different script.
So, you know, I would love to hear about,
about what people have
gone through in their
own journey.
So, yep.
Cool.
Okay.
We'll see you next time.
All right.
We're out.
Take care.
Bye.