The Talk GenX Never Got: Kids, Phones and Adult Content - Episode 74

Welcome to GenX Adulting. And today we are talking about porn and we are welcoming a return guest, MJ Eldridge, also known as MJ aka Mommy on social media. Welcome MJ. Hi, I'm so excited to be here in person. I know, it's so exciting. In studio. Yes, in studio. And for those that haven't caught MJ's previous episode with us, it's episode-- Episode 45. Episode 45 and it's five hours of MJ. Spanning two days. I disgust myself. Yes, it's MJ's life story, which is incredibly, incredibly interesting and inspiring and you will love it. So I encourage you to go listen to MJ's life story. But today we have her in studio. We're so excited, she has flown in to sit down and talk about this very important topic that is not covered enough in my opinion. So again, thank you for being here. Of course, of course. And honestly, I have been fascinated with this topic ever since I got divorced and I realized fully what had shifted in our culture when it comes to porn. But I wanna say upfront, I am not anti-sex worker, I am not anti the industry as a whole, although it has a lot of problems, don't get me wrong. This is mainly about kids and their access and how that has changed in our lifetime. And I think it's a very Gen X topic because we watched it unfold firsthand and we're in the midst of it right now as we speak. I agree, I mean, anyone could say, sure porn's been around probably since the beginning of time in one way or another, right? They ensure that sex has been used in some sort of perverted way, even back to the cavemen. I'm sure they had something weird they were doing. But it's more like you just said, Gen X witness, the evolution of the 24 seven 365 access in your back pocket through the phones. And we were the first ones to give the phones to kids, really.

Yep, and we definitely did not take that into consideration at all. And I think that just historically, if we just think about what we witnessed in our lifetimes, like for example, when we were young in the sixties and seventies and whatever, there were playboys, there were triple X movie theaters, and what did we know about the triple X movie theaters? We knew that it was a bunch of pervs and trench coats who went to the triple X movie theater, but you had to like go to it. You had, when I was a kid, I don't know if you guys had this, but in Rhode Island, well, yeah, it's in Rhode Island, there was a drive-in called the Rustic, and they played porn, that was what it was. And so people who lived around there would like go sneak on the roofs of their houses and like try to see the porn, but you could go there and watch porn with your girlfriend like in an adult though, right? Right, right, right. But I had a drive-in, it was wild. Was it discrete at all? Like were there trees or bushes? Like a tree? You couldn't see it from the street. Okay, okay. But you could kind of, like I wanna say there were like three different screens, and one of them you could kind of see when you would drive by from the street. I do. Go ahead. Well, no, I think that's the premise probably of what you're talking about, because when I was a kid in the 70s or 80s, whatever, it was harder to get, right? Right. And so maybe, I mean, the drive-through, that's, or the drive-in, that's pretty wild. Drive-through porn would be amazing. I'm sure that exists, but to sneak around the bushes, but if you wanted porn as a kid when we were younger, you had to work for it. You had to find it. Yeah, exactly. And that's like the whole problem with our situation now. Like boys would maybe stumble upon,

Yeah, exactly. And that's like the whole problem with our situation now. Like boys would maybe stumble upon, you always hear this, like it's a Gen X trope, stumbling upon some man's jerk and log in the woods, like where he has all his playboys stacked up, and then they would find it, and they would sneak it back home, and whatever, even the BC boys sing about it. Your mom found your one, what? Your best porno mag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your best porno mag, yeah, yeah. And, no, that was it, that was it. And so in our, but the thing of it was, is that you had to go to the XXX Movie Theater, like out in public, right? And then what'd we get in the 80s? We got VCRs, right? But then you still had to go to the video store, into the back room, in front of God and everybody else, and go rent Debbie Does Dallas or whatnot, in public. And you had to go pay with a credit card or cash, and you had to check out with it, and everybody knew, everybody who saw you were like, "Oh, that dude can't get a girl." That is the attitude that we had, right? And then you had to bring it home. Where was the VCR? It was in the living room, right? Like it was, unless you were like rich, rich, you know, and you had like a VCR and a TV in your bedroom, but you were an adult who had to do this. So if you're, you know, like, if you were an adult doing this, you had to like wait until your family wasn't home. So you could pop it in and like jerk it in the living room, you know, and risk somebody coming home and walking in on you, right? There was that. So like, it was very limited access. then in the 90s, we get the internet, right? The number one first thing that they did with the internet was put porn on it.

then in the 90s, we get the internet, right? The number one first thing that they did with the internet was put porn on it. Everybody knows this. My, so in the 90s, I was living in Colorado, and I had a friend who was always hustling, like trying, like a friend from work. So she always had like a second job. And her second job at night was going upstairs in the building that we worked in to transfer porn tapes to the internet. And that was her whole, and I was like, gross. Like you have to sit there and look at porn all night, you know, like, and that's what, that was her job was uploading whatever. I don't even know how that, you know, how it was functioned back then, but that was in the 90s. So what did we do in the 90s and the early 2000s when you had a home computer? Where did you put it? Everybody said, if you have kids at home, where does it have to go in the high traffic area? Why? Because we wanted to monitor kids internet access to protect them from predators, because we were talking about, you know, predators and chat rooms and all sorts of stuff like that. And then we decided as a society in 2008 or whatever, throw it all out the window. None of that fucking matters anymore. We do not need to stop kids from seeing porn. No more, it's over. And we just put it out there. And every single one of them has it in their pocket. This is such an interesting eye-opening perspective. I never thought about the fact that we did have the computer in the living room when we had kids, so we could see what they were doing. We could see what they were on. We could make sure they were not going to websites. They shouldn't be go to like Pornhub, which I think was at the 90s or 2000s Pornhub. Oh, I don't know, honestly. I don't know either. I think back then.

which I think was at the 90s or 2000s Pornhub. Oh, I don't know, honestly. I don't know either. I think back then. Oh, you don't know. No, no, I don't know when Pornhub became the king, right? But remember the, what was that, "Girls Gone Wild" stuff? Yeah. Remember that dude had his-- You could buy the tapes. Yeah, you could buy the tapes or the DVDs. Yeah, okay. I remember to me, the first one that really went mainstream, because you're spot on, they took magazines, they took old videos that got video converted, digitized. And that became the thing. Do you remember that website, "The Wetlands?" It was this husband and wife. Remember they made the news, because this guy, his wife and him were doing porn in their house, and they were making like 30 million bucks a month or so. I don't know if it was that much, or maybe that was their views. Was that here? It was in the US. Oh, no, I meant like in Florida. No, no, they were in the Northeast. They were in-- Because I was saying the wetlands. Yeah, I am. I'm sure they were Rhode Island or some steep. No, I think they were in Virginia. Somehow that resonated. I totally forgot about that, but that was when amateur porn started taking over, which Pornhub catered to as well, right? Pornhub is the pornucopia of everything. Where you had every fetish, amateur, professional. But to your point, MJ, we were so protective, we were so, because we were the helicopter parents, so we're watching, watching. We're not gonna let them be feral like we were and all that stuff, but no one took into consideration technology. We did it. And pornography being brought into our children's lives in the way when we gave them the phone. Our oldest had the computer in the main thorough way of the house. Yeah.

Yeah. And then eventually it got into his room. The youngest, all bets are off. Yeah, by him, everything's in his room. But he had a phone. Well, I remember when our older kids got phones, and I remember when my older son started watching porn, when all the boys at the lunch table in seventh grade at Catholic school, mind you, were talking about what porn sites they go on. And I was mortified, but I can tell you with my youngest, I think that started in fifth grade. Yeah, so actually in my research, the average age of first porn, when they did a survey, I have it here somewhere, it was-- Use your notes, it's totally fine with Gen X. I use notes all the time. And I was like, I can't-- You need extra glasses? Get your glasses, you have your glasses? No, I forgot my glasses. It's okay, no, I can see them. So it was, okay, so they did a survey in 2022 of US teens ages 13 to 17, and the average age of first porn exposure was 12. And 15%, they saw it starting at age 10, out of all of that. And that's probably increased since 2022. Oh, certainly, certainly. Yeah, because it's just unlimited, but I'd never thought about how we were so proactive and then we just worked. No, it's crazy, but here's my theory.

Oh, certainly, certainly. Yeah, because it's just unlimited, but I'd never thought about how we were so proactive and then we just worked. No, it's crazy, but here's my theory. Listen, women are the moral arbiters of everything. We are the ones who actually protect children. We are the ones who did Mothers Against Drunk Thriving. We were the, you know, Tipper Gore and her crew that we're all affected by. And I have theories about that too that I wanna talk about, but we're the ones. And I think, honestly, when I started talking to my friends about this back in 2011, because my experience was such that, you know, when I got divorced and started dating again, I realized that everything had changed. You know, all of a sudden, I'm, you know, hooking up with guys and getting choked. I'm expected to be hairless, like all of this stuff. And I'm like, "What?" And I, you know, as I've said, I thought it was just that we were older. I had met my ex-husband when I was 20 years old. So I, you know, in the 90s. So I was just like, "Oh, everybody's old." And everybody just chokes and punches each other during sex now because we're bored with it or something. Everybody wants anal now because we're just bored. And it wasn't until I started receiving videos from guys, you know, obviously texting them to me, "Oh, are you into this?" And they all started asking, "What are you into?" And I'm like, "What do you mean? "What am I into?" You know, like, "I don't know. "I like romantic walks on the beach." Or it's like, "Not, what am I into in vanilla terms?" You know, like, "Oh, do you, you know, like, you know, "Oh my God, so many things. "Like, I have a guy pee on me."

Oh my God. Just randomly start peeing. Like, what, so many questions about why that would be- You must have given a signal or something like- Yeah, oh yeah, there's a pee-dun. I wanna be pee-dun. Yeah, yeah. Everybody knows MJ loves piss. (Both Laughing) He puts out there. Now, but again, so if somebody had asked me, "What am I into?" I automatically would have gone to, "Oh, I'm into live music. "I'm into walking on the beach. "I'm into, you know, da, da, da." I never would have assumed they meant sexually. Always, and instant, like back in 2011, when I started dating again, and I think it was before like Match was even on an app. No, it was still like on the computer. And it was like instant. They would start asking me these questions. So I was telling my friends about it when I started getting the videos. And they were like, "What do you mean? "Like, he just sent that to you? "Like not because that's weird, it is weird, "but because he could, right?" And so I started pulling the stuff up and showing my friends on the phone and whatever. And then they would say to their husbands, "Did you know you could just see this?" And they're like, "Oh yeah, all the husbands knew, "all of them knew, but women aren't seeking it out." So I think that we mistakenly thought there would be some kind of protections built in for kids. Because there always was.

I think that we mistakenly thought there would be some kind of protections built in for kids. Because there always was. Well, there still are, right? I think there are. I don't deal with them outside of a corporate level, but they had that whole cybernanny thing. Remember they would market it to put this on your computer to put its content filtering, right? That's basically what it is. It's content filtering, seeing if it matches this category, don't let your kids see it. It's guns, it's porn, it's whatever, right? And so that was on the old home computer. That was on the home computer. I have a question though. In your experience, I think it's the phone. The phone is kind of fucked up with people's dynamics and communications, right? So you combine the phone and the fact that I don't have to talk to you, but I can send you some salacious shit and hide behind my phone. You couple it with the porn, and now you've kind of got Pandora's box that's, there's no, I don't know what the right word is, but-- It's frictionless. It's frictionless, I guess, yeah. Yeah, it's absolutely frictionless. If you wanna talk about even like the level, let's go through all the levels of friction here. So first of all is the physical friction. Like I was saying, you had to go walk into a XXX theater. You had to go rent a video. You had to figure out how to play it in your living room alone, you know, like finally get a loan, right? So there's that, there's financial friction. You had to pay for it. You had to pay for a Playboy subscription. You had to pay to go to the theater, you know, you had to risk, you know, if you're buying a videotape, you had to risk your wife seeing it on a credit card as a line item. There was, to me, one of the bigger things is the social friction of the notion that you could get publicly shamed. Like you had to go deal with a clerk at a store. But that's more at an adult level, right?

It is, it is. But for kids, it was like my older, my best friend's brother or my older brother, he can get this for us, whatever. Right, right. So it's a little-- But that's still friction. Yeah, it's still, you have to ask. 100%, no, it's a restriction. You have to have to find someone. Yep. And then like, again, with the parental friction of the idea that the computer is sitting in the middle of the living room, you know, and maybe they put, I forgot about that nanny thing. Maybe they put that on the computer. And then even like, stuff like time, like when we were young, and this is what I'm talking about, as far as like kids today versus what we would have had to go through when we were young. How many people do you know, like having to sit there with a dot matrix printer, just waiting for a boob to print, you know? (Laughing) You know, and that's what you were doing, or you're squinting trying to see some tits on Cinemax, or whatever, like-- Yes, yes. Theo was the shit when we were kids, right? Yeah, and I forgot about Cinemax, Cinemax after dark or something. It's like Skin-a-Max. Yeah. That's right, that's what they called it. They called it Skin-a-Max. But then also the idea of the privacy, right? That is completely, you know, out the window now. Now you have nothing but private experiences with your phone in your hand. You can take this on the bus, in the school, like in the bathroom, like you are just, you have it all the time. Literally at your fingertips. Church,

anywhere, anywhere. And then there's also like, you know, there's I guess developmental friction, right? Like you used to test these ideas out in a group. Like for example, you'd talk about it with your friends. You would say, hey, you know, like, oh my God, my boyfriend the other night stuck his finger in my butt or whatever, is that normal? Like you would be able to test these ideas before even attempting them yourself. Now the kids are just getting the served up to them. Like everything is normal. Yes, that's what it is. It's normalized. And I think I had mentioned that to you before. It's also normalized fetishes. Oh my God. Because we used to look at, at least speaking as a woman, a Gen-X woman, I looked at probably the majority of what's out there now as a fetish and something that I wasn't down for or if I was, there's a lot of communication before I'm partaking in that. Like that was, there was a boundary. Like these things are good. I got my five things and they're good. This is my book. And if you want that sixth thing, we're gonna talk about it. I have to be comfortable with it because that's in a different realm of the world for me. But now these poor kids, girls especially, it's almost like, because the boys too, like they're being exposed to these, this is normal. They're being exposed to these fetishes, but then the girls are gonna be expected to participate in these fetishes. Like what you alluded to when you went out dating, choking is a fetish. Yes. Anal sex is a fetish. Like these are fetishes. And now they're a menu item. Right. It's just like, what is on your menu? What services are you going to provide for me?

Yes. Anal sex is a fetish. Like these are fetishes. And now they're a menu item. Right. It's just like, what is on your menu? What services are you going to provide for me? Because I'm weirdly into, you know, like, I don't know. Like, I don't even know what this stuff is. You know, I want like an anal sock puppet, you know? Like that's what I like. And so many of my friends have had so many, and again, this is adults, but because porn has normal, and it's so weird, I'm not used to being able to say porn. I am not seeing porn. You're free MJ. Oh, I missed it. Let's clap, you gotta (Beep) She's liberating. I'm finally, finally free. But I had friends like this one friend of mine, she was hooking up with this guy. And this is a big thing. All of a sudden they all have to jerk off to finish just FYI. They're not finishing normally. They are finishing on their own. Is this boots on the ground research? Boots on the ground research, where they can get most of the way there, but they have to finish with their hand because they're so habituated. What is that? Is that what it is? Because they've come so many times with their hand, they can't come with a vagina anymore? Correct, correct, correct. Okay, I don't even, and we can go down the road of all-- What are you looking at me for? (Laughing) No, but don't you think that's fucking weird? Okay, what do you think of that? I think what you wanna, just going back, this stuff is so normalized that people are desensitized to it, right? Yes. I think the porn has always played a role in some sexual function at some level for everybody, but what you're describing's over the top. You mean for men? Wait, what do you mean? Yeah, for men, for men. For men.

You mean for men? Wait, what do you mean? Yeah, for men, for men. For men. So you think because you guys grew up with, whether it was Playboy, Penthouse, Sneaking Videos, that the idea, the enticement of porn, and the salaciousness of it, has it added to your sexual experience? It's been an attractive thing that you would try to find, right? But you definitely, when you were a young boy, first masturbating, you were lucky if you got the Sears catalog. That's our legacy, is remembering those times. Unless you get that as dad to Playboy, and you are balling like no other Gen X boy. My uncle gave me a calendar from Penthouse or Playboy, something like that, young or whatever. So that calendar was like his thing. Yeah, where I was going is-- The dickiest calendar in the 36. I still have it, no. Ew, it's all, it's all rusty. There it's all sticks together. It's in the garage somewhere. I'm outing myself in. No, what I mean is there's always been some level of fantasy when it comes to sex, right? There's some level of fantasy. Oh, that's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what I mean, it's different now because now it's gone probably past fantasy. It's not fantasy. To finish, to really some wild stuff. It's gone from fantasy to reality. So the fantasy of what maybe men, boys could think of in their minds, right? But then when you would get with a girl, it's not like you expected her to do all those things. You were just excited to be able to touch a boob, right? Yes. Like when you're first starting out, or maybe get your hands down her pants. Yeah, no, those were like the prizes. Yeah, yeah, no, and those were like a big deal. Yeah, right. Now, but you're describing it now as what's on the menu, that's fucked up.

Yeah, no, those were like the prizes. Yeah, yeah, no, and those were like a big deal. Yeah, right. Now, but you're describing it now as what's on the menu, that's fucked up. Yeah. It's like, I feel like I missed out on something, but at the same time, that's fucked up. He's like, this is the stuff that'll trigger them. I could have been fisting somebody. I really missed out. He missed his moment. And setting the suck with a 33 year old marriage. Born on the wrong side of history. Totally, like 10 years too old here, this is crazy. Wait, but what do you think of this phenomenon that men can't finish without jerking themselves off when they're with a live, warm-blooded woman? I don't know, I gotta steal on that a little bit. Maybe we'll come back to it because I don't totally get that. But at the same time, if you're just out there, if it's too transactional, then it's probably maybe that's involved, right? Because you are, it's like what's on the menu. Okay, I'll take the burger or I'll take the anal sex or I'll take the normal with the finger in the ass, like that, maybe that's, it's too transactional. So your head is stuck in the porn. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know though, because I feel like you're getting all those things, you're in that moment. And I always would think that putting your dick in a woman is like the ultimate goal of every man, right?

I think it doesn't, they're so habituated to it because it is a stimulus that you cannot deny, right? So if you have endless access to porn in your phone for free, like let's just all wrap our heads around that. Like I can't get over that, it's free. I don't understand. Like how is everybody making, I guess it's the ads or whatever, but it is insane that it is free and it is endlessly available and it's endless variety, right? So you almost cannot rip yourself away from it. And especially if you're thinking about people who are now, and we're talking about, like we're talking about young kids but we're talking about people who are easily now in their 30s, right? Who started watching this when they were 10 years old or 15 years, even that young, you know, nonstop. And then because you can just watch it nonstop and you're used to pleasuring yourself yourself, you do too much of it, right? Because it's just an endless variety and you can do it. Like think about it this way. Like, listen, I know all teenage boys are always like jerking off and whatever, but like even in our generation, we a lot of times had to share rooms with siblings, right? We weren't home alone all the time. We like, and you weren't, and maybe you only had one bathroom in the house, you know? And all this stuff, like so many other things have changed on that front where just the access to being able to jerk off all the time is just easier. Yeah, that's true. And then you have the added reminder that it's just here in your hand, it's here in your phone. Look, get hard, get hard, you know? Like, and there you go. I think that's more it. Because there's always been access.

You could always do whatever you wanna do, but I do think there's been a societal change in just the bombardment of over-sexualization of everything. Yes. Right, so it's to your point, now you've got the phone, but the ads are seductive, right? The maybe, I don't know, whatever kids are doing on, they send selfies now, right? They send nudes and shit like that. That wasn't happening. That was not happening when we were kids. If anything, it might've been a grainy Polaroid that got burned in the campfire or something. But I think that there's just an over-stimulation of over-sexualization of everything. But I think that's access though. Like I don't think-- No, I think you're right. You didn't have access, you did not, like you said access has always been there. Access is not always been there. No, access to WAC office has always been there. Yeah, access to being alone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure, you could figure that out. But maybe you would do something else with your time when you were alone. And now you're on your phone nonstop. Right. That's what I mean about the over-stimulation because you might choose to do something else because there's other things that are stimulating you. Whatever, whatever. Reading a book. Whatever, yeah. Fixing, whatever. Like going out with your friends. Well, it's almost like what you talked about was if they're doing it as their brains are forming.

Whatever, yeah. Fixing, whatever. Like going out with your friends. Well, it's almost like what you talked about was if they're doing it as their brains are forming. Yes. And they have, it's hard wiring their brains. And the way their brain is connecting on that sexual level is now hardwired subconsciously. That is studied and has been proven now that they have studies that show that as your, it's not just your brain is forming, but it's also how you associate your stimulus, right? You're associating it to what you're seeing on the screen. So they're doing a lot of studies lately about, like boys having a hard, or boys. But men in general having a hard time finishing with a real woman because all of their, or even getting hard with real women because their ability to get turned on has been associated with seeing these images on a screen. It's visual. Yes. Beautiful. Whereas for your age, it was like you said, fantasy. They could think it up in their heads. You could, yeah. You actually- You could get creative in your brain. Again, no friction. No, you don't even have to come up with a fantasy. You just get served up endless fantasies. You know what I think though, there was a change too in porn, right? And if you think about it, I've kind of done my own little research on this one where there were the old peep shows, the black and white peep shows, five minutes, silence in a woman in like a, in bra and that was it. That type of thing. Then it got more salacious. She was now naked. But then you get to the sixties and the seventies and they were movies. They were themes. There were people driving around town. Like if you look at old porn, they're interesting. They're scenery. Yeah, there's a screenplay.

they're interesting. They're scenery. Yeah, there's a screenplay. The Golden Gate Bridge and the driving through streets and then eventually you get to the house and there's a sex scene. But then probably in the eighties, it shifted to just scenes. Very transactional scenes of an anal sex scene, low job scene. Two people, two girls and one guy type of scene. And then that became, that moved to steroids when the internet came out. It was all scenes, four or five minute scenes, purpose built to get you off. There was no friction. Used to be you had to watch the movie, fast forward the VCR to get to the scene. Now it's just the scene. It's just there. Yep. And I think that sums up what's happened. What that, you know, that, and now we're just seeing, seeing, seeing. And that's-- And to your point around the fetish, whatever you want, there's a scene for it. Everything probably, probably even animals, even though that's illegal, right? But there's probably even animal shit out there. So I have a friend who talked to his teenage son about porn, right? And he asked him, he's like, well, what are you watching? Like, what are you into? And I like, this was years ago now. And he said that he was into women morphing into animals. That's a whole segment of porn, apparently. Like women, like slowly, like morphing, not like, not real women. I think it's like a cartoon, like animated stuff or something like that. And that's a huge thing too. And I'm like, he sped through it all. You know what I mean? Like he, this kid had like got so desensitized to real women porn that now he gets off on women turning into animals. Like, what are we doing? It almost has to level up.

It almost has to level up. Yes, and that is true. We've used up all of the resources in this level. We gotta now go to the next level and the next level. So I'm wondering, when does it become dangerous? Well, I think that we toss around the term porn addiction way too easily. We're always saying, oh, he's a porn addict, blah, blah, blah. I think that I'm not a doctor or anything like that. I don't know technically. I don't even know if they know. I don't know if they care to know, because I'm not focused on adult men, doing, do whatever the fuck you want. If you're 18 plus, I think you're gross. If you're constantly watching porn or demanding that women look a certain way or do certain services for you, okay, yeah, you're gross. And we can tell you have a problem. But that's me, I'm an adult. And that's dealing with adult men. I'm talking about the kids. It is fucking crazy and unacceptable that we just allowed this to happen. Like we have perpetrated the biggest experiment on young men and young women unbeknownst to them. Like we took the brakes off and didn't even check the look and see if the hill was safe, you know? Just like, go, go for it. And I go back to, I am pretty sure because like I was saying, women are the protectors when it comes to this stuff. We are the ones monitoring what the kids are doing at all times, and the dad's new. And I hate to say it like that, but the dad's new. And the women, I truly believe, I think we thought you still had to either pay for it or that there would be blockers on there somehow. Because when I started showing this stuff to my friends, like in 2011, 2012, whatever, the look of horror on their faces, you know, they're just like, what? Like because we women aren't looking for porn, like by and large. And then, and especially then, we were all in the midst of having young kids. We're busy, we're not jerking it in the bathroom while telling our wives we're taking a spa shit for nine hours, you know, we know what's up. And I swear to God. And the thing of it is, and so this is my other little theory about why we haven't done anything about it, because it's our job. And I think it's because we all saw Tipper Gore get roasted to death, whoever her compatriots were. Why? Because we were the ones doing the roasting.

We're like, look at that embarrassing old hag. You know, like, oh, she wants to, all of our favorite rappers and rock stars were making fun of her. They're making fun of her on Saturday Night Live. Like we were all like laughing at this embarrassing woman. And so here we sit now as middle-aged women, you really think that I know I'm taking a risk talking about this. Every time I make a video, I'm taking a risk. And by risk, I mean risk of getting roasted, risk of like getting called old, fat, ugly. Nobody wants to fuck you. That's why you're a prude, you know, you're vanilla, you're a conservative, you're religious, you know, all of this stuff to just dismiss anything, anything. And then the other thing that they'll always say too, porn's always been around, lady, always, always. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you were sitting there jerking it to cave drawings in front of the rest of the tribe. I don't think so. You're being so disingenuous, like this is real, and kids are watching it, and we used to give a fuck and we quit. But you know what's funny is I used to work in an ISP as doing tech support, our number one call, besides not being able to get connected to the internet, was how do I clear the history bar of all the porn my husband looks at so the kids don't see it? That was one of our big calls. And we had a friend once who I went over and cleaned her computer because she's like, how do I get rid of this? And I'm like, I don't know. You get rid of the husband. Well, yeah, that's a different story. That ended up happening too. But I fixed it, and then she's like, what's going on here? And I showed her, she's like, is this easy? And I remember showing her some sites and how easy it was. And she's like, so to your point, women were the gatekeepers, I think, but that didn't happen in this evolution. We didn't know, we weren't working for the companies. Maybe we were, and it was just part of our job or whatever. And it was not on our radar.

No, it wasn't. It was not on our radar. There was so much on our radar, but that was a neat, because it wasn't even discussed among moms. Like it wasn't. No. And even when, like I said, even when you knew, okay, we've hit this area and your kids are starting to watch porn, even then, it was more like, they shouldn't be doing that. But no one talked about what are we gonna do about it? It was more just like, oh my gosh, really? But then the conversation kind of stopped there. Right. You know, and it wasn't like, well, maybe we should consider not giving them all these phones or these little computers and like, shouldn't have reached into your point. The idea of bringing it into a bigger space, it would have felt very uncomfortable because any women who tried to censor anything got shit on. Oh yeah. But I don't totally agree with the typical piece of it, just because hers was free speech and lyrics. So it's different. You know, it's-- But it was policing. It was attempting to police. It was policing, yeah. But porn is different than talking. But I think it could be considered free speech. Oh, they totally could. They do that all the time. That's why they're so against the adult men. Like any time that this has come up, which it has, here in Florida, you do have legislation and they have legislation in Texas that actually, since I've been here and I tried to go on Pornhub to see how it works, it works. I was like, oh, you have to put in a credit card or whatever to access Pornhub.

since I've been here and I tried to go on Pornhub to see how it works, it works. I was like, oh, you have to put in a credit card or whatever to access Pornhub. But everywhere else, they're like, well, that's a free speech thing. I want, like, why do I have to identify myself? That's the man's argument against it because they don't want to have to, but I'm like, you have to show your license to buy alcohol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like why is it that we still care about that? Why aren't we just giving kids vodka now? Right. You know, let's do that. Go fucking nuts, kids. Here's some meth. We don't care anymore. And I think it's such an issue I completely blame Gen X. We're rad as hell, yes. This is on us and we're the ones who are gonna have to do something about it. You know, what's so interesting is that we talk a lot about how we did kind of, we created helicopter parenting. We invented helicopter parenting as a result of wanting to give our kids the childhood we always wanted. We knew what was out there and wanting to protect them. And so not wanting them to be as feral as we were. And yet we completely let them be feral with pornography. 100%. There were no boundaries, no communication. It was no holds barred. We did drop the ball in that area. And I think, I like to say the way Gen X parents is because we are not ignorant, but we are in this area. We were in this area. We were totally ignorant because even when we were made aware, we still had no idea how to cope with it, what to do about it. So it was more like, no one took a step. Now we're seeing the results of it with how young men and young women are trying to have relationships, trying to date, trying to communicate, trying to have sex with each other. In so many instances, it's warped. And so we're seeing the results of our inaction in this area now, I think.

So I was just talking to my, I was literally in the car talking to my daughter about, she was asking me what I was talking about with you guys today. And we were talking about just the things our daughters have to accept now that we would have never accepted. So you can imagine in the 90s, you're dating a guy, right? And you walk into his living room and there's just hustlers and playboys all over the place. And then he sits down next to you on the couch and he's flipping through it. He's just flipping through it. And he's like, "Oh, love that ass. Look at her tits. Like, oh, look at that pussy, it's perfect." And you would not date that guy. You would be like, "He's a fucking creep." Or if you went to his house and he was just playing porn on his TV and nobody in your family would be like, "Oh, we gotta give him a chance. He's a great guy." Nobody would do that. Or even when we were young too, if you dated a guy who was actively just checking women out in front of you, you'd be like, "You're disgusting. Quit looking at her tits, whatever." And you would probably break up with him. And nobody would tell you that you were not justified. And now my daughters are told that they're prudes. What are you, insecure? What's your problem? It's fine that he follows all those girls on Instagram. It's the same fucking thing. Yes, it is. And honestly, you know what's missing? Shame. We took away all shame on this front. Boys are actively talking about jerking off. Do you know when I was young and when you guys were young, did you actively, maybe boys did? But I did not talk about masturbating with my girlfriends. No, no. That was a dirty, dirty secret. And listen, am I saying that shame is good all the time?

And listen, am I saying that shame is good all the time? Whatever the opposite of, whatever we're doing now, that is the complete opposite of shame is not good. Right. Is not good. We've conflated, and this has like woke gone wrong. There's a lot of woke shit that has gone wrong. And we can talk about voice note guy because we know that that's very topical right now. There's a lot of woke shit that has gone wrong on this front by saying, oh, you're not sex positive. You're slut shaming. You're doing all this stuff. So you have to just accept everything and shame doesn't exist anymore. It is shameful for a boy to be like, yeah, I just jerk it all the time. I watch porn all the time and I jerk it. That is a low energy person. You know, that is a low vibrational human being. Absolutely. And it's also lack of accountability. There's no accountability. So it's needing to have its boundaries. Shame surrounding, it's just normal human decency. Come on. I mean, I feel, and to your point, we've jumped the shark completely in this area. Yep. Just, there can be, two things can be right. There can be space for sex positivity in certain areas. You know, in a lot of ways it has empowered women in so many ways. And those women shouldn't be slut shamed if they are going to, you know, get their bag and get their own choice and all that. That's all good, right? But there has to be that boundary that you can't go from there to a guy who's bragging about, I just jerk off to porn all the time. And isn't that great? Who's normalizing that though? Like how, who's making that normal? It's online. Yeah, it's all over.

Who's normalizing that though? Like how, who's making that normal? It's online. Yeah, it's all over. It's, our culture is so highly pornified now. I think most people don't even realize a lot of our vocabulary that we even use is from porn. Calling somebody a cuck, that's from porn. Saying somebody is glazing somebody else, that's from porn. You know, like there are girls now who are online talking about, it's pink and it's an innie. Do you know what that means? No. It means her pussy is pink and it's an innie. That's from porn. And they are online bragging about the feature. I've seen multiple videos. Oh, it means her labia is not poking out. It's like in. I'll show you later. Oh my God. Why don't you show us right now? It's right there on your phone. It's where her labia is, this is new to me. So that's where her labias go in. Yeah, yeah. And that's an innie. That's an innie. And there's labias that go out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how I'm not exposed to this at all. And that's an innie. That's what the boys call roast beef. They talk about it. They talk about this. I've heard that. Yeah. I never knew exactly what that meant. What does cuck mean? Oh, cuck is a guy who, a cuck hold. It's actually an old-- Oh, cuck holds an old term. Yeah, it's an old term. But it's a guy, it's a porn activity, I guess. Where a man will watch another man have sex with his wife. They even have a cuck chair. But that's just it. We routinely just call people cucks all the time now. And to-- And when they're saying it out in the open, what do they mean? Like how are they referring? What do they mean? It basically means somebody will essentially, I guess, get off on or put up with anything. Like they're-- Like a simp? Yeah. You don't use the term cuck, that guy's a cuck.

It basically means somebody will essentially, I guess, get off on or put up with anything. Like they're-- Like a simp? Yeah. You don't use the term cuck, that guy's a cuck. No. I use a pussy, a wimp, to your point. Yeah, he'll let another man fuck his wife. Okay, okay. Like he's that type of guy. Okay, and then glazing, what does that mean in the literal porn term? It means coming on somebody, like glazing, like a-- Like a glazed donut? Like a glazed donut, yeah. So then how have they implemented that into normal society? So now when you talk about somebody's glazing somebody else, it's basically like you're getting off on them so hard. Like you're basically like complimenting them too much. Okay. So it's slowly like corrupted into that. Okay. But these are all like-- They're rooted in pornography, these terms. There's that whole list. Yeah, what else? (Laughing) One thing, we were talking about the impact on boys, but we just jumped into the girls. And the girls are accepting of this, not all, but girls are-- They're being forced to. Possibly, yeah. But there's a divide, right? There's gonna be some, your daughter saying, no, I'm not, we're considered proved because we won't do certain things or say certain things. But there is a whole other world of girls who are on board. And that probably causes some confusion. But don't you think that started, I feel like in the early 2000s is when all of a sudden,

I mean, and I'm not gonna be a tip or gore here, but all the rap songs started being about ho, and ho was positive, right? And I just fucked her and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that. And then the hookup culture, like when we were growing up, I don't think there was a hookup culture like this. Like if you were with a guy, you guys were dating and then you might break up and date someone else. But if you got with multiple guys, you were slut shamed. It wasn't acceptable. And then I feel like there was a shift where it's okay to be a ho, right? And that was part of our, that implemented into our culture. And I think it's all part of this race to the bottom, right? So there will always be pick me women, right? And how the pick me-ism shows up is directly in relation to what the boys are into, right? Male stutter. Yes, I was a pick me for sure. When I was in my teens and twenties, that's how I ended up going to 22 Grateful Dead shows. Like I told you guys, that's how I learned how to snowboard. That's why I was in a mosh pit, all sorts of shit. I was great at giving head. I remember I had a boyfriend who I was like, you know what, I'm gonna give him the best night of his life and let him watch this Red Sox game. Suck his dick. Yes, yes. And I did, you know, because that is what boys like. And that is what girls who like boys do. Because say what you will, that will dominate a pick me girl, a girl who is male centered. That's the basis of it. So of course there are girls out there being like, yeah, oh, you wanna punch me in the face while you fuck me from behind? I love it, love it. Let's watch more porn together, you know, because she is trying to impress a boy.

And I think it's internal misogyny, right? It's misogyny against other women to be like that because you are competing with other women. And I know, I know right now we're gonna get, this is where people are gonna comment. They're gonna say, oh, you know, oh, see, they're prudes. They're slut shaming and I am not. I'm saying that two things can be true at once. You can very much be a pick me girl who is just going along to get along and get a boy and all this stuff. And maybe you don't really like it or you do really like it. I know you exist. I know that there are girls who are into all sorts of funky ass shit. I like some funky shit myself, right? But like, there are young girls now who are feeling pressure to do stuff. Like you said, that was considered a fetish when we were young. And does this just make us old? I think about that a lot, right? Like, is it just that I'm old that I think anal is not great? No, I think anal hurts. I think it's a bad choice. But hey, some girls are into that. But now we've got girls who are doing that when they're 15. Because they think that is what you do. But, and that goes back to pick me and that goes back to male centeredness. And compete, I think you're, for whatever reason, pick me because you're competing with other girls for the male attention. Or you're a pick me because you have your own unresolved issues, whether it's daddy issues, whether it's whatever you're trying to fill. Because I was a pick me too for a long time. Was it a daddy issue?

Was it a daddy issue? It was a daddy issue. Like I didn't really have an issue with the other girls. It was just, I was trying to fill the void of not having a father figure in my life. And so I'm gonna do and be whatever I need to be. It's all about what you're into. It's actually how I got into the dead. But I became a real dead head. I love the dead. But my boyfriend at the time took me to a dead show and I was like, yeah, I'll do whatever, go wherever, be whatever. Because I needed that male attention so bad. So I understand the pick me. But it's a dangerous thing to be. It's not pro woman. And it hurts other women. And I of course didn't know that at 15. But there are women our age that are still pick me. Oh my God. And nothing enriches me more. Nothing. Big time pick me. Oh my God. Like the women who have not decentered men by our big age, what the fuck is wrong with you ladies? Like what is wrong with you? And pick me can put you in dangerous situations. You could end up hiking up a mountain and you could hurt yourself. Women have died from being a pick me because you are like, I'll do whatever. You wanna jump out of the airplane, okay. And she hurts herself. So because the men are gonna do whatever the fuck they wanna do. So you're just kind of along for the ride. I'm sorry, I heard you were gonna get in on this. I'm gonna get shit on for this. But I think that pick me's out number, I don't know maybe-- Empowered women. Empowered women, eight to two. I think it's an 80-20 split. I think most women are pick me's. I think it's completely the 80-20 rule. Do you think that generationally would you break that up? Do you think that across the board with women or can you break that up generationally?

Do you think that generationally would you break that up? Do you think that across the board with women or can you break that up generationally? I think since I've been a kid, it's the old adage. Women like to get treated like shit, right? And that's fucked up. I'm not endorsing it. I think it's a bad thing. I've always said it. I'm a fan of women. I'm a fan of empowering women. You guys are your own worst enemies against each other. And this is just a part of that. Because if there's pick me's and that's the guys, right? That's enticing for young men. And you get with someone who has boundaries and I don't wanna use the wrong words but maybe standards or whatever, right? Don't have some of these issues and it's harder. That just fucks it up for the rest when it's too easy. That's what it is is that the girls that are giving it away. And I know I sound like I'm fricking 80 years old. And I think women should have 100% autonomy over their body in every way. And I'm not judging women for having sex or girls for having sex. But if you're doing it from a place of trying to just get acceptance or trying to fill a void that should be healed before you go into this step. You're lowering the bar for everyone. You have changed the playing field for everyone. And like you just said it, the girls who have standards, the girls who have self-respect, the girls who maybe don't have daddy issues or have resolved some issues and are truly going into something, wanting an equal partner, wanting to have a respectful relationship, that's too hard for boys. The other girls are easier but that's probably been going on forever. Well, it has been, but I wanna say like, it's like, again, a race to the bottom. Now it's just like the stuff that young women, our kids have to accept and put up with. We'll just keep getting worse and worse and worse because I'm sorry, men and boys do not self-govern. You do not have governors on yourselves at all. You do not put guardrails and whatever you are allowed to do, you will do. Like, and you'll, and like, we could talk about voice note right now. So we know, like, I don't know, I'll explain it a little bit if you guys haven't heard. So on TikTok right in this moment, this past week or two, there was a guy who sent a woman a voice note after one date and on the voice note, he said, he said, explicitly,

"I know you said you're not into this, but if I come over your place on Thursday night," and again, this was going to be their second date, "I need to have that physical intimacy." Oh, nothing pisses me off more about men using the word intimacy these days. Fuck all the way off, you wanna fuck. And he does say that in the voice note, but anyway, he's like, "I need to see if I am sexually compatible." He did not say, "You, us, we, together, and if we're not going to do that, I don't see the point in coming over. I don't see the point in seeing you again." Now, again, this was a second date, right? But the way the men in the comments of all endless online discourse analyzing this voice note, I'm absolutely so enraptured by all of it, but the way men, men who send a text saying, "What are you doing?" Like they're writing dissertations. Like the comments, they're just like, "Oh, this is just him expressing his boundaries. And how dare you? If sexual compatibility is so important to him," then they're just like, there, like typing endless screens about this. And in defense of this man, because they want that door kicked open. They want, they're like, "Yes, we are going to now," like you said, and I believe you actually about it being 80-20, pick me. And they're like, "Get the message out, boys. All the pick me's know to fuck on date number two now." Because when we were young, we heard of the three date rule, right? Remember? And listen, did I ascribe to that? No, I felt like, I don't know. I felt like that was a little bit much for me,

but we had the three date rule. And now these people are, they try to normalize it and they try to make it be like, hey, there's lots of girls who want to fuck on the first date. Oh, are you saying that they're bad? And no, nobody's saying that they're bad. People can do what they want to do if it's mutual. This was a demand, you know? And like, we don't need to necessarily get into that voice note guy, but the notion that they think that this is on the table, automatically, you don't know somebody at all and you're supposed to be fucking them. I mean, there's a difference between a one night stand and everyone's entitled to one night stand, women and men, girls and guys. If you want to fight to your point, it's mutual, right? This was borderline coercion, let's be real, okay? It was, I think the guy's a psychopath, I do. I think he's disconnected from something in his brain that he even thinks, that he feels entitled to even speak to her that way. Right. Who the fuck are you to send this to her, right? Why, why though? Why not? Okay, I listened to it, but why not? Why can't he send that? I mean, he can, but the fact that he's-- Why does that jump him into being a psychopath and fucking crazy? I'll tell you why. I think he's a sociopath and I made a video talking about him being a sociopath because he explicitly said, "I don't see the point in spending any more time with you, but if we have sex, then," and I see that I'm sexually compatible, then we can keep this going. You can't hold those two things in your mind at the same time. Why not? You can't, because all men are sociopaths. No, no, but here's why I'm asking why not. The girl should say, "Go fuck yourself." Well, she did.

Why not? You can't, because all men are sociopaths. No, no, but here's why I'm asking why not. The girl should say, "Go fuck yourself." Well, she did. And have a good life. Yes, right. Let him be a sociopath, but do not encourage it. Do not put any, tell him to go fuck off, or don't even tell him anything, just disappear. That's where I'm coming from. Whoever you want to be, you can put that shit out there. I was shocked. I mean, that's crazy, but just don't call back. But to MJ's point, right, is that now there's a significant amount of men that are trying to normalize that behavior. And it'll just continue though to lower the bar. Girls need to make sure it's clear it's not fucking normal. And every girl needs to hang up. They're not called them back. And just let that shit fizzle. It's like a fire, let it go away. And there were pygmies here. No, but that's the problem. There were the comments too. 100%. There were pygmies in the comments saying he's just expressing himself. He's expressing his boundaries. He's trying to get consent. He's trying to get consent. I don't totally disagree. I mean, I was shocked. I'm like, "Wow, how did this, how did we get here? Is this normal to be like, "Hey, I just want to make sure we're going to be fucking by this weekend. And if we're not, I'm going to go over here because they have other options." I think that's bold. It's wild, just fucking wild, right? But women need to be like, "Nope, I'm not, we're done." There's no response, ghosting them, right? That's the term. "Well, I'm going to ghost this guy." But not enough people are apparently doing that. Because, because it's like this, again, this male race to the bottom. I'm like, "How fast do y'all want to fuck? Like I get it. You want to fuck the minute you swipe. You swipe, she shows up and it's just like, bam, here you are. Yay, they finally get their dream. But I think that that's not truly what they want. They like the fight for it a little bit, to push her boundaries down. Like "Voice Note" was like, "I'm going to threaten you by saying, I don't see the point in coming over then. I know you had a good time. We had a good time together, but you know what? I'm going to make you agree to this because this guy could have been honest in his dating profile." Or he could have said, "Listen, I need to fuck by date too. If you're not that type of girl, keep it pushing." You know, like I'm not your guy. And he didn't. But it's part of the game, right? It's part of the game.

Like 20, 30 years ago, the game was you call her up, you take her on a date. Yes. That goes well. Then you follow up the next day with a phone call. Or maybe if you're playing a game, you wait five days and then you call her because you don't want her to think that you're totally into her. That's part of the game. Then you take her out again. And then maybe you get that third date and then maybe you guys fuck. That was the game. It's always a fucking game. The problem is they want just a little bit of game just to fuck around and in a sociopathic way. And then they still want to, like they want the fucking faster, which is a little bit of game. They're still trying to dictate and navigate the entire experience. And the problem is there are still young women and women who will go along with the game. The outnumber, the girls who won't. The goalposts keep changing. I hate to say that. I hate that I can't disagree with you. I know it kills me. Cause I'm pro women. I swear to God I am. I have a daughter and it's the most treasured thing in my life. And to see that what's going on here is fucking nuts. But women need to band together. This is a good cause. Fuck men. Or at least corral them, right? Get them. Not literally.

But women need to band together. This is a good cause. Fuck men. Or at least corral them, right? Get them. Not literally. Yeah, not literally. But you've gotta be strong and don't let this shit fester and explode. But we've talked about this before as far as situationships, right? And I've said the girls, like a girl or a woman needs to not entertain that bullshit. Like you need to have your level, your boundary, your standards. And then if they're gonna still play this game of the situationship, if you're not down for that, it needs to, you need to stop it. You have to stop it. And then we would get a bunch of comments of women saying, why is this on women? Everything's on women. Cause it's your body. Why can't we finally have boys and men put effort in to fixing something? Why did the women have to do it? But to your point, what you said, they aren't going to. The men are not going to stop. They are going to get away with whatever women allow them to get away with. Yeah, yeah. And that's why they're like, yes, the door is kicked open. Let me write blocks of texts, defending this behavior cause I want to do it too. That is what men will do. And they will do what you will accept. And so that's why they're like, oh, it's fine that I follow all these girls on Instagram. You're a prude and a loser if you're mad at me about that. And that's why you hear all boys watch porn. Like you just have to accept it. And just think about that. Would our grandmas have been cool with their husbands just going to the XXX movie theater all the time? Oh, oh, there goes Dickie, you know, by giving him some, you know, money to buy a snack while he's whacking it in his trench coat. Our grandmas would have been like, our grandmas who had to be married to these guys would have stopped that shit.

Do you think that's true though? Or do you think they would have just ignored it? Cause there's that silent generation and there's that, right there, we get into this generational shit a lot. And women might've just been like, oh, that's just boys being boys. So this goes back to the friction issue, the frictionless issue that we have. So Dickie going down the street would have maybe seen some of his neighbors walking in, you know, as he was trying to get into the XXX theater out in public in front of God and everybody, literally God and everybody. Maybe he saw his pastor walking down the street. And that is where shame and the friction of shame matters when it comes to this. And that is how this type of behavior is actively policed by society. By society. Because you know what I find so interesting? It blows my mind that we still bother rating movies. Why is a movie rated R when your kid is able to watch MILF threesomes when they're 10 years old? What the fuck we care? We don't, we have told everybody, we don't fucking care. So why are we stopping kids from going into the movies? Oh, cause it has violence and you know, smoking. Yeah, yeah. So that is literally crazy. Yeah, that's the most, the funniest thing is when it's like smoking or uncomfortable issues or what the fuck are you even talking about? Right. But here's the question. Why is this epidemic, why has it been allowed? Why has-

Right. But here's the question. Why is this epidemic, why has it been allowed? Why has- Because men will get away with what they can get away with and it is men who are in charge. We still know this to be true. The men who are in charge love watching porn and they do not care. Like I said at the start, it is women who protect children and the women are not in charge. And then if they do bring it up, it's every name in the book. You get called every name in the book. I fully expect if you know, people watch this or whatever that there will be endless comments talking about how you look, talking about how I look. They go after you and it hurts. It is hurtful for me to put myself out there on my platform and get the abuse that I get. And women don't wanna do that. And the men don't give a fuck cause they don't wanna do, the men who are fighting any kind of, parental protections for minors when it comes to their access to porn are I don't wanna have to put my name in the site. I don't wanna have to scan my license or whatever. Cause they don't give a fuck about a kid. Yeah. They don't fuck a kid. Yes. I mean, you do have not all men, right? Cause you have like Tim Tebow who's out there trying to say. No, actually, actually I was impressed with that. I saw that video too. What did he do? Well, he's always been working on trying to fight sex trafficking and he was speaking. I don't know who he was speaking in front of. Maybe it was Congress, but he had a big map. He did. Like he's the Tim, they've been working on this forever. Like that's been his passion, him and his wife and with other people about sexual predators and exposing.

He did. Like he's the Tim, they've been working on this forever. Like that's been his passion, him and his wife and with other people about sexual predators and exposing. Child pornography though. Like kind of like the opposite of what we're saying, but like not trying to block kids from having access to porn, blocking men from having access to child pornography. But there needs to be, I mean. Well, we've got that guy local. This is great. You'll love this. There's a guy next tone up is Delray. I don't know who the, I think he's an MMA fighter or something like that. And he's got an organization where he'll, it's just that old textbook thing of pretending to be a 13 year old girl and let's meet at Home Depot. Then he shows up and the perverts there, then they call the cops and stuff. Oh, he doesn't beat them up? No, I was hoping he would. I was hoping he would cause I'd really enjoyed that. I'd love a Home Depot pervert. I wanna see where the headlock just punch it or something. Yeah, like little movie tie-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a guy doing that locally here. I'm all about that. I love that. Yeah, I mean, I think definitely more men need to be stepping into this and talking about this. They have to, but they like it. I'm sorry. Like it's like asking for smokers to write legislation banning smoking. So do grown men not understand how it's warping their son's brains? Don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck? Yeah, don't give a fuck. Their attitude is, oh, I wish I had this when I was, like you said, you missed your window. I wish, oh man, I wish I could've. So like, have you thought about that at all, about how it affected our son's brains or what they've...

So like, have you thought about that at all, about how it affected our son's brains or what they've... Yeah, no, it is not. Our older son has talked to us about it and he's very much against kids having phones. So yeah. Because they know. He knows. Yes. So, because he's 29 now. So I told him what we were gonna talk about. He's like, good. Like he doesn't think they should be on social media. And he's not like some crude conservative or anything. He's just like, this is crazy. This is fucking up. Because he knows it. He's like, it fucked me up. He's like, you get to in the rabbit hole, but have you reflected on it at all? Yeah, no, it bothers me. And I have two perspectives on it. One is that of my young son and that is of my daughter. And it's not good. Not good either way. Because I don't want my son to be warped and then not find his partner he can have a healthy life with. And I know that for my daughter, these fucking weirdos, the guy with the phone call, right? That's fucking crazy. It's weird. I don't want them interacting with her, but she's, I think, one of the 20%. So it's harder. It's just harder. And there's just the lack of decent men out there, I think, that aren't warped and fucked up. And I don't want my 16 year old to be warped and fucked up. So yeah, it's a problem. Because it goes to their very base instincts and that's what makes it so irresistible. It's literally like, you wouldn't like, let your kid mainline donuts. You know what I mean? Like it's not like, but we've actively been like, here have all the sugar you want in the privacy of your room. Here you go. Here's a Dunkin Donuts. We just attached it to your bedroom window. It's a drive through. Just get all you want. Yeah.

You know though, we're all fucked up, right? Cause even us as Gen Xers having access to some of that porn and just we're just less fucked up, I think. Cause you did, there was more friction like we'd been talking about. Well, I think that you have maybe some internalized shame built in as your own governor. Because of knowing the way that we even talked about the men, like it was, if you, like I've been saying, if you were the one at the rustic drive in or whatever, we're like, he's a fucking pervert. And, or if like he just had, like you go into his garage and you always knew like that one old man who just had like stacks of hustlers, like the bad ones around. And you knew you're like, God, that guy's gross. And now they can all be secret gross. That's the difference. And men will, I'm sorry, wanna be as gross as possible. And it's hard to stop it because it is so enticing. It hits all of your pleasure centers. It hits all of your receptors. And you are just like, yes, tits, right? You know what's interesting too though, cause I've been to those peep shows in New York as a, I went in with a friend of a girlfriend, not girlfriend, but a friend who was a girl and went in with an aunt and her husband. Cause they were like, oh my God, let's, what is this? And I'd never been, we went in, you put your, I don't know, quarters. Were you young? No, 19, something like that. Oh, no, that's like, I meant like, No, no, not a kid. Recently. No, I just meant like, do they still do it? And it like a recent thing.

Were you young? No, 19, something like that. Oh, no, that's like, I meant like, No, no, not a kid. Recently. No, I just meant like, do they still do it? And it like a recent thing. No, no, they're closed up. But I remember when you put the thing in, the slot comes up and there's a woman and they're doing bad things to herself. But my wording is telling bad things. It wasn't normal. I remember being shocked like, holy shit. And that's gone. And that's probably the problem is it's gone. Cause we had that moral compass to know as interesting, maybe as arousing, I don't know, whatever the, this isn't normal, it's not right. And I think that's gone. But we, again, it's like, we hyperwoke-ified it. And again, that will make me sound bad and old and I don't fucking care. Like there are certain things that it's like, yeah, maybe that isn't for public consumption. Maybe I shouldn't. Not everything needs to be. Maybe I shouldn't be able to walk up to a booth and watch a woman shove a hot dog in her puss. Exactly. Like maybe that's gross. So I think that what we're talking about here is there were things in the dark and you had to go into the dark to experience them. And you had to expose yourself out in public. And you had to walk out of that place. You had to walk out and whatever it is, like that, whatever that was, that is the dark side, right? There is no dark side. It was not only brought to light, it was brought to light and accepted by society. And so it's removed any stigma. It's not, though, it's not. It's not accepted. Oh, I think it totally is. You don't know what I mean by it. It's not acceptable for that kid to leave the voicemail that he did. I don't think so from a common society.

Oh, I think it totally is. You don't know what I mean by it. It's not acceptable for that kid to leave the voicemail that he did. I don't think so from a common society. But it's acceptable within that genre or that age group because you have girls coming on defending him. That's fucked up. It is fucked up for a girl to say he's just communicating his needs. But I can go there. I mean, have we shifted that much societally to say I'm calling to let you know that if we're not having sex by five o'clock tomorrow, I'm gonna move on, right? Is that normal? I don't think so, but is it? I don't know. I mean, I think you're just getting to basic animalistic communication then. I think that men want it to be normalized. You can tell by all these men in the comments. I will say I don't think the pick me women want it to be normalized. They want it to, they want to be picked. You know, like there's a difference. They don't want to be treated that way. No, no, no, exactly. But they also don't want to be judged or like-- They want to be cool. They want to be cool. They want to be cool girls. They want to be cool girls. Yes. And they will walk all over women to get there, other women to get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and that's not talked about enough, how misogynistic pick me's are. I mean-- You mean towards each other. Yeah, yeah. I hate that word misogynistic. It's anti-woman, I think. You know, whatever. Why do you hate that word? It just feels like it's some new age woke type of thing. Just, I mean, just call men assholes for treating women and it's like a nice term that becomes just too much in some ways. Oh, that's interesting. I will say this, and I hate that because you are a boy mom, but you're not a boy mom. I'm not a boy mom. Yeah, and I honestly think

Oh, that's interesting. I will say this, and I hate that because you are a boy mom, but you're not a boy mom. I'm not a boy mom. Yeah, and I honestly think a lot of the reason we can't progress is because a lot of pick me's are also boy moms. You're right. And because women give birth to all men and girls, all boys and girls, they protect their sons and they double down and they are the pick me's and then they create daughters who are also pick me's because they elevate their son into some kind of like God status. And it's a boy moms are a plague on, like you were saying earlier, for women to coalesce as a group. Oh, they don't wanna hear that little Connor, you know, tried to rape his girlfriend when she was 13. Yes. Because Connor wouldn't do that, but guess what Connor has been watching porn since you gave him a phone at 10 because you had to be a cool mom, you know, and your son was the first one on the block to get an iPhone, look what you have thought. Yes. And I do think that because of our helicopterness, you know, that we were the ones who gave our kids phones so we could track them. We can call them at any time. Oh my God, there might be a school shooting. They need to be able to have it at school so they can contact us and all this stuff. And it was just done out of protection ironically. And then we just gave them a portal into all manner of shit and we can't even talk about it. Yes, God. And we're focused on the porn side of it, but there's the gun side of it. There's the criminal activity side of it. There's the I'm gonna eat a tide pod act part of it, right? The whole fucking gamut. And then also you throw in benzos, the medications. So many kids have been put on. They almost have to go so deep into pornography to feel anything because they're so numb, right?

I have a question for you guys. I actually, and I wanna go back on a topic, but my question is what is the psychology of the pygmy? I get it, it's maybe daddy issues or acceptance, but what's the psychology at the female dynamics level that's happening now? I do wanna say you guys have said daddy issues a couple of times and I don't necessarily like that terminology because that is putting a man's issues on a woman. Like it's basically like, oh, she had a shit dad. Oh, but here's this girl walking around with daddy issues and it's her problem. You know what I mean? Right, yeah, yeah. Because her dad was a piece of shit. It still goes back to the man being a piece of shit. You're right. And so I like to think that, I just don't like that terminology. What's the better way to describe that? Yeah, what would be a good way to sum that up? Like you were saying, men are assholes. She had a dad who was shit. I think it's-- Because boys have daddy issues too then. And we never talk about boys having daddy issues. A daddy issue girl is one that, oh, you're excited to meet because she'll fuck you on the first date and she's crazy in bed, right? That's the known lore of a daddy issue girl. We never talk about a daddy issue boy. So right. And so that's kind of why I have an issue with it. Maybe if it was spread evenly, it wouldn't have such a stigma. Yeah. Because it's misogynistic. Uh-huh. But it's very descriptive. Well, not really. No, I'm curious to think we'll know the one that. So back to your point, like the psychology of a pygmy.

Yeah. Because it's misogynistic. Uh-huh. But it's very descriptive. Well, not really. No, I'm curious to think we'll know the one that. So back to your point, like the psychology of a pygmy. Yeah. Is that because in a society where we live in a patriarchal society and men are considered to be the prize, a woman wants to get one and she gets to be like, okay, I'll tell you my own personal psychology. So when I was young, I was an ugly fat kid. I was an ugly fat kid and I knew it because everybody told me all the time. I was very bullied, I was very made fun of. And if I look back at the pictures, you know, like, hey, was I that ugly? I don't know, I had fucking buck teeth. I was a mess. Glasses, I had a thing called a bionator. Do you even know what a bionator is? No. A bionator is essentially the most insane shit on earth. I don't think they make them anymore, but it was a, you know how you have retainers and you have top and bottom retainers? Yeah. This was a bionator is fused together. So you're like this, you put the appliance in your mouth and you're just like this all day. Like during your dates? Yeah, as you're wearing it all day. And you're just like, whatever, whatever the way. Is it something you took out at night?

Like during your dates? Yeah, as you're wearing it all day. And you're just like, whatever, whatever the way. Is it something you took out at night? No, I had to wear it all the time. I had horrible buck teeth. Like, and so I wore it for like all of third grade, but anyway, anyway, so back to my pick me origin story, because I was an ugly fat girl, you know, all, and my, cause my hair was curly and thick and my mom didn't know what conditioner was and we didn't have any, she cut all my hair off. I had super short hair. All I wanted was long, beautiful hair, you know? And so anyway, fast forward to me being a teenager and I was the queen of the pick me's because I wanted a boy because that meant I wasn't ugly anymore. If I could get a boy, I was pretty. And so I worked my ass off to be what boys would like to hang out with the boys. And that's the bottom line. When you are able to get a man in our patriarchal society, it is a stamp of acceptance. And that is the psychology behind being a pick me. Well, what's the origin of you needing a man? Do you have a decent relationship with your dad or? Oh, well, it was because you needed a man. Like, like, it's a status. It's a society thing you need a man. Yeah, status. Okay. Because we're in a patriarchal society. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. For me it was-- Because of your mom's. Because your mom's telling you you needed a man. Well, also, but we didn't need a man. Like, we are the first generation that did not technically need a man. So we are raised by moms who were very much like, well, my mom, well, we were raised Catholic. And so my mom was very much like, you don't have sex with boys. Like, you wanna preserve your reputation.

well, my mom, well, we were raised Catholic. And so my mom was very much like, you don't have sex with boys. Like, you wanna preserve your reputation. You definitely want one though. Like, you definitely wanna be picked because her generation was the first generation who could even, my mom couldn't get a mortgage on her own until like 19, till the year I was born, right? And so you had to be picked. Yes. And we're the first ones who did not have to be picked, but we were raised in a society where people still needed to be picked. Yeah, and I think it's still there. Oh, yeah. It's like, I don't even think it occurred to us to not want a husband. Like, that was the natural thing. Like for me, it was you graduate from high school, you go to college, you get married, you have children and you work a job. But that was the whole goal is there was never a not having a husband as an option. Like that's just the natural thing, right? Because otherwise, for me, I know I just was like, that's what normal is and I wanna be normal. Like, you know? Yes, yes, whereas, I mean, the one beautiful thing about Gen Z women is they are changing. I do think it is changing, but I find it very interesting. I do think there is a level of pykmyism, but it's more on the side of like, I want everyone in my group to think I'm cool. And that is like the pykmy aspect. Like you pick the area that you wanna be in, right? Like whether it's like boys would like all of this, but also like, I'm cool because I don't sex shame people. You know, and I'm, that makes me cool and open and I'll put that out there, you know? So like virtue signaling type stuff?

So like virtue signaling type stuff? Yeah, I guess virtue signaling when it comes to sex. Like that's how down I am. Like, I don't know if you guys remember Dan Savage. He was a writer, he had a column, forget what it was called, but he was like, I would read a lot of his columns. He was a gay guy who would write about sex, kind of like Sex and the City idea, except it was a guy. And he would talk about being GGG. It was like good giving. I forget what the G's stand for. And so I'm shooting myself in the foot telling the story, but it was basically about being like giving and like, you know, Generous. Generous, like, yeah, it was something like that. Good. Yeah, but it was about sex, like in being, and that type of, I think there's a lot, like when it came to the voice note guy discourse, there's been a lot of like gay men weighing in, like what's wrong with that? This is like gay culture, you know, like gay men have a lot of like hookup culture in that way. And this is what we do all the time. And so there's a lot of women are like, oh, let me co-op that. Like let's be free sexually. And who knows if they're into it really or not, you know? Yeah, and I think like, because I've seen people talk about gay culture. I've seen gay men talk about gay culture and that they're just more sex, they're men. They're more sexual. It's a more sexualized culture. And so it's, but that's not something that's necessarily can transcend into hetero culture. No, because we deal with women. But it can, it can. No, but we have way more risks. Obviously we can get pregnant. Like we can get, like men can hurt other men too physically, but like typically men are larger than we are, you know, and whatever. And there's just a lot more risks. Yes.

Yes. And so it doesn't translate. And then not only that, it is such a catch 22 in the manosphere space about this. They all want to be fucking on the second date, but they also are obsessed with body count. Yes. Like how are you supposed to manage that? You know, am I supposed to have a separate pussy that's just for your good time? And then I have my clean no body count pussy over here that I can put on. Exactly, like there's a group of women that are just waiting in the wings to marry them that aren't dating anyone, not fucking anyone. So those women just should stay over here and say shush while they fuck everybody on the second date. And that just, Those women are also not supposed to go to college either. And they're not supposed to have jobs. They're supposed to be like naked, waiting in a ditch to get picked up by some dude, I guess. Yeah, and is that, have we evolved though? Like it's the same shit. If you have sex or if you hook up with more than two guys back when we were growing up, you were fucking slut. Was two years, two the number? Two, I feel like that's what's in our group. It was two. If you hooked up with more than two guys, like in a very close proximity of time, you were slut. Yeah, no, I was never able to tell any man my true number. (Laughing) I had such quote unquote, "Daddy issues" or had such, let's say what it is. It's abandonment issues. Yeah, exactly. That's much better.

(Laughing) I had such quote unquote, "Daddy issues" or had such, let's say what it is. It's abandonment issues. Yeah, exactly. That's much better. I had such abandonment issues that I actually wasn't a slut because I would get my boyfriend and then it'd be like, that's my guy, right? Cause he was feeling that. So for me, the pick me was self worth. Is a man filled the void. I didn't get self worth from having a father present in my life. So I grew up not feeling worthy. And a man, because of a patriarchal society, a man's attention gave me self worth. And so I would get my boyfriend, but I needed that consistency cause he was also feeling that abandonment issue. I couldn't do the multiple guys because that felt like repeated abandonment. Where if I could get the one guy, he felt that I didn't feel abandoned. And so I felt at peace because I know he's at least here and he's not gonna leave me. So that's where my pick me came from. And so, and of course we were together, the boyfriends I had, we were together so long that it went beyond pick me. Like we evolved into a relationship, but to get them, I was very pick me. And then I could calm down and not have to be as pick me to keep them because we were in this long relationship. But if you're dating multiple guys, you never get past the pick me behavior because you're trying to get the next guy. Is that made the attention for the next guy? It's just a sequence or a repetitive cycle of picking shitty guys. That's what happens. Well, they're not necessarily, I don't know if they're shitty guys, it's just how you would get them. Or do you self sabotage, you get the guy, now it's like, whatever. There's a lot of dynamics there really.

Yeah, I don't know why some women would date multiple guys and that's their interest and that's totally fine. But for me it was, I couldn't do that because that felt like repeatedly being abandoned, if that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, so, but as a result, although I'm sure I still had some pick me because I think I probably always had that fear of he could leave, I actually asked Brian, like even when we first got married, I didn't believe he was gonna stay. It took me 10 years to believe he's not leaving. And I would almost sometimes be like, just leave because I know you're gonna leave. And he'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about. But so I probably did hold on to pick me behavior in my relationship because I was afraid they were gonna leave. So it's not like I ever really evolved much. I just probably wasn't as obnoxious about it. I didn't even know what I liked. I'm still learning what I liked. Such a good point. Yeah, I am still at 52, still even asking myself, what do I even like? I was, this is gonna sound gross. I was thinking about this the other day because now that I've been alone in the house for five or six years, and I had eaten something that made me feel like really bloated. It was like some pasta or something like that. And I was like, oh my God, I would have been in pain. I would have been holding in all this gas, whatever.

I would have been like, I can't be myself around a man, but there's no man in my house. And so I'm like, I think I avoided eating pasta my entire life largely because it does make me feel bloated or whatever. And I'm like, I was just thinking about all the times where I denied even like, how my eye was physically feeling because a guy wanted to have sex with me. I was like, okay, I will myself to not feel bloated or sick or whatever and just go into another place. The way I denied all of my own physicality for so long, I'm just now really realizing what it's like to inhabit my own body. I was always inhabiting my body for someone else. Yeah, or what you were doing the motivation behind whatever you were doing for your body was to attract men. It wasn't for health. It wasn't for you. It was always an outward looking space where I think for so many of us Gen X women as we've hit midlife and are finally figuring out what do we like? And doing whatever we're doing, it's truly for us. And it's a very uncomfortable experience to go through at first. And I remember, I think it was like a year ago, my older son asked me what I wanna listen to. He was putting music on and I couldn't think of it because, and it's nothing against Brian, but Brian's always kind of just like put on what we listened to and I like the same music. So I've just gone along with it. Thankfully we have the same taste. Yeah, okay. But I hadn't had anyone ask me what I wanna listen to. Again, not putting you down. That's not true, that cannot be true. No, but no one had said like, what do you wanna listen to? Especially the kids. No, but even like with us, it's not a dig at you. It's just that we get in patterns. 100%.

No, but no one had said like, what do you wanna listen to? Especially the kids. No, but even like with us, it's not a dig at you. It's just that we get in patterns. 100%. But I do think it goes into also our relationships and not feeling seen. Like I have reflected back and thought he hadn't asked me. He hadn't asked me a lot, what do you wanna listen to? But it did flow, you do now. Cause you asked me the other night when we were out at the pool, you were like, what do you wanna listen to? But he's gone through his own midlife growth and we've gone through a relationship growth in the last few years. So that is consistent. But anyways, like I'd say a year, year and a half ago, my son asked me that and I couldn't think of anything because I'm like, I haven't thought about that. What do I wanna listen to? Even though if you said no, what do you wanna listen to? I could tell you 10 things, but that's how far I've come. And I was like, and that was uncomfortable for me cause I'm like, what the fuck do I like? I love music, why can't I answer this goddamn question? But I haven't been asked that in so long. What else do I like? What do I like that isn't based on my children? It isn't based on my husband, it isn't based on my mom, it isn't based on my dogs, it isn't based on my friends. What do I like? And that is a, it's a very weird realization to realize you've denied yourself for so long. And for good, like the reasons behind it, we're all good intention, but we put ourselves on the back burner repeatedly through most of our lives, I think. And I hope we've raised our daughters to do different.

repeatedly through most of our lives, I think. And I hope we've raised our daughters to do different. Well, and you know what, just to, this is such a good segue back to the topic at hand about porn, right? These kids getting exposed to it at such young ages, they won't learn what they like either. Because we learned by exploring together, you know, with a boyfriend, with a husband, with whatever. Maybe again, like I was saying earlier, maybe we had talked about something with your friends, you know, and they're like, you know what we did the other night? And you're like, hey, you know what Karen did the other night, you wanna try that? And then he was like, can Karen come over? No, but you know what I mean? And so I think that, you know, when we were younger, what started popping off, I kissed a girl, remember? Yes, yes. And then like in the late 90s, early 2000s, everybody was in the club making out with their friend. We were doing it for the male gaze though, as entertainment, you know, and just like, ooh, maybe you two girls are gonna kiss or whatever. All of that happened in our lives, but now, and we did it because it was like, you know, it was just being pushed, you know, like by the guys, just like you were saying with, you know, girls gone wild and all of that stuff. It's like, yeah, and if you're a pick me, you're like, well, let me tantalize and... I don't know, I think they're both words. (Laughing) Tantalize this, but- Tantalize it. And titilize it. Titilate it. Titilate, that's the word.

I don't know, I think they're both words. (Laughing) Tantalize this, but- Tantalize it. And titilize it. Titilate it. Titilate, that's the word. There you go. I like titilize. I'm gonna titilize. (Laughing) I'm out here just titilizing everybody. And so anyway, we did all of that, you know, to turn the guys on, and then everything just started sliding, sliding, sliding. So now we have boys pushing girls perhaps to do the acts that they've been watching in porn since they started seeing it before they even had their first kiss. Yes. Before they've even held hands. They are watching fucking your step sister, don't you? Okay, that's the other thing. Why is everybody fucking their step mom or their step sister in all porn? Like what is wrong with y'all? Like why are you like, yes, step sister, step daughter, step mom, leave them alone? Like you're gross, like why do you wanna fuck? Anyway. And there was just that boy that killed his step sister like last month on the cruise. He sexually assaulted her and killed her. And I've been obsessed with her. Why? I wonder why? Cause he's been watching, putting fantasies in your head. You're literally plugging it in. Yeah. You're listening on headphones. You are hearing real people. And that's the other big problem with it. These are real women. These are real men, right? And so if you started watching this at 10 years old, 10, 11, 12 years old, before you've even had your first kiss, before you've had a girlfriend, before you've held hands, before you even knew to make goo goo eyes at somebody, honestly, because that's prior to puberty, right? You are watching this and you think that is what sex is. And that is also how women show up for men. Again, back to voice note,

you can't tell me that voice note dude hasn't been like, yeah, you have sex on the first date. This is the way sex happens. I took you out once, you know, or whatever. And now we bang, you know, like that's what they think. Yes. Because they've been watching it since they were 10 years old. And at 10 years old, you're being shown that your sister, your stepsister will give you a BJ if you just lie naked on your bed and leave the door open a little bit. Right. That's what they see in porn. Right. They see, oh, if I just walk in and my stepmom in the shower, she'll let me fuck her. Right. Why would you, because that's the other thing. We're not even educating these kids at all about, because we're too ashamed to talk about it. So we're not even educating them that like, hey, listen, this is like WWE wrestling versus Olympic wrestlers. Yes. Right? They are two very different activities. One is totally fake, real people doing it, real people sweating, but they're in makeup, they're in costumes and it's choreographed. We're not even having this conversation with these kids because we are too ashamed to talk about porn with our children. Yeah. Like we, and, because we wanna be in denial about it. We don't, you know, all the boy moms and everybody else out there, they don't wanna realize, like you said earlier, like you don't, it upsets you thinking what your sons are looking at or thinking what might happen to your daughter. But we're not talking about it because we want it to not be real.

We're living in a fantasy land of a place that doesn't exist anymore. Our parents didn't have to have these conversations with us because it wasn't a problem. Because we bothered to keep kids away from porn. We didn't let them go into the XXX theater. We didn't let them rent the video. Right. They wouldn't be allowed to. And so now we're just like, we don't know how to have the conversation and we're also not doing anything to stop it. It's just kind of there. It's just sitting there. What are we doing? I, so there's a woman that I follow. Her name is Gail Dines and she talks a lot about this topic. Her entire platform though is largely based on educating kids and parents. And I am more hardcore. I think we need to figure out how to not get their eyes on it. Because I don't, education is good, but I don't like acting like there's nothing that can be done. And that's the argument I get all the time. The argument I always hear is, oh, what are we supposed to do? It's just on the internet as if the internet is a place that can't be controlled. They talk about it like we talk about AI. Nothing we can do. Here comes the AI. And I think it's ridiculous. Like, oh, there's nothing that we can do. Well, you kind of can't, your kids can't just buy whiskey. They can't just go drive a car. We have laws in place. We can do stuff about it. And I always, I'm a big, like I was raised basically, if you, you can't have a bitch unless you have a better idea. And I can sit here and bitch about this problem all day long. But I honestly think what we need to do is make it cool and fine to stop giving our kids smartphones. We can go back to flip phones if we wanna track them.

And that's what we need to do. This is unhealthy. And we keep talking around this issue. Like it cannot be stopped. We wanna talk about how bad social media is for young girls. We hear that all the time. All these young girls are, and I am being flippant about it because to me it's sort of insulting the way that they talk about it because it's always like all these young girls are comparing themselves to people on Instagram and they're harming themselves. And all these young, and I hate to say it translates in my mind to all these little young weak-minded girls, who can't handle what they see on social media. We don't say one fucking thing about boys watching porn. Never, never here. And this is me, I'm on it. I'm on it now. But here's the thing. We wanna sit here and talk about a male loneliness crisis. We wanna talk about young boys not going to college anymore. We wanna talk about young boys not having good jobs anymore. And we'll say, oh, it's male loneliness because these girls don't wanna go out with boys who don't have a good job. You know what I mean? And somehow blame it on the girls. All these young boys aren't going to college anymore because the girls are, is this taking their spots or something like that doesn't make any sense. We do not ever wanna talk about the very basic fact, and you can tell me if you disagree, boys don't have a mojo anymore. One of the biggest ways boys get motivated to do stuff in life is sex, right? Getting girls. Why do they wanna have money and have a good job and all this stuff? So they can get girls. Why does every single man who finally comes up and he had his high school girlfriend, but then all of a sudden he got on the NFL team and then was he do, he trades her in for a younger hotter model, right? That is the motivator. The motivator is to get women.

And now that you don't even have to pay or go anywhere or do anything to see tits and ass, they're not doing anything. They're lonely and they're home alone. And I'm not saying it's the only issue, right? We have a lot of issues, but porn is the one that we absolutely refuse to address. So you're basically saying it's removed motivation to participate in society. Yes. Yeah. What's your take on that? I think you're partially right. I think it's one element. I do think the world is hard. I think it's hard, right? It's hard for, and I do think girls participating at a greater share than historically they have makes it harder for boys. Do you? I do, but tough shit. But why? Meaning there's only finite number of things or jobs or resources, right? But so there's girls now doing different things, playing more roles that were historically boy oriented. But who can, oh well, life's hard. You gotta figure it out and you can't blame women. I think women are a factor in their greater participation and being equals. And I think that's wonderful and great, but as boys, you have to figure it out. I think we've outsourced so many good paying jobs offshore and taken away entry level roles that allow all people, boys and girls, to get into things and be smart and climb a ladder. That's harder now. I think we've brought in so much offshore cheap labor that have taken away entry level jobs that have been things they can jump into, like our son trying to get him a job is like, well shit, what is the option? What are the options? When we were kids, you could go work at Burger King, McDonald's, the local bowling alley, the florist, whatever, right? The grocery store and those jobs are kind of gone. So I don't think porn's the only piece of the puzzle, but if you're not working and you can't find a job and whatever, you can whack off. There's satiated, you're satiated, right? Some need is met.

So I think it's a whole societal fucked up situation problem. And I don't think porn's helping. And the easy access and the frictionless access to it, it's just not helping. That all makes sense. No, that makes a lot of sense. I think it is not helping at all, but I also think it is causing the boy. So in my view, it's not, yes, women are in the workforce and all of that stuff and women are now outpacing men and the amount of them actually even going to college. We didn't stop letting boys into college. Like they could still go. They're just not. So what are these things ruining their motivation? And I think a huge part of it is the fact that they don't have to try, and porn is a piece of it, but then they also now have access to gambling. There's a shit ton of gambling. And I even lump in all the day trade, all of that type of, because that is a dopamine hit. Gaming, obviously. There's another big one. Another big one. That's a big one. It's a huge one. And so if you can literally satisfy every single one of your pleasure centers with fake achievement. So it's like fake achievement to play a video game and you've like won, you know, like you beat the game or whatever. It's fake achievement to watch porn and interact perhaps with the AI chatbot who's talking back to you, you know, whatever. And you've achieved the goal of seeing boobs. You know what I mean? Like you don't even have to bother trying to be a person and talk to a real girl. Yes. Virtual reality. Yeah,

Yes. Virtual reality. Yeah, yeah. That's why I don't think it's porn only. And one thing I didn't mention is parents. Like parents, don't let your kids just say home. Make them get jobs. Make sure they have chores, right? All this stuff. But and maybe, you know, I'm not gonna blame it on women. But I think I do, I will defend you in what you were saying earlier. I believe what you're saying in terms of women, stop watching and men don't give a fuck, right? I think women are the care, the gatekeepers, the caretaker type of thing. But we have, you have to push your kids to do more. You can't just let them sit in and get the fake achievement. Yeah, but that gets in the whole topic of the struggling to launch young adults. Yeah, yeah. And I wonder how much COVID also plays a role in all of this. But I think MJ is completely right. Men will destroy their entire lives for pussy. So I-- We all chase it. It's the number one, you're spot on. I wish I could disagree, but no, they all-- So you can talk, I mean, and I agree with you the offshore stuff and you're very versed in this. But it's a whole cocktail. Right, it's a cocktail for sure. But the biggest ingredient is that chasing, trying the motivation behind making money, cars, houses, jewelry, all those material things, that has been sold for decades, that that is what attracts, we talked about the pygmy wanting to get men. What do men do to get women, right? They need to be successful. They need to provide, right? That's the old adage.

Whether a woman is working or not, that you need to still be able to be a successful man. And also they want a beautiful woman on their arm. Like other men are impressed by men who have beautiful women, who have great bodies and all this stuff. That's all of this goes into play with that. And the male ego, it feeds the male ego. And the male ego is probably the most powerful thing, if you really think about it. So if you take away that drive for the motivation, what you're trying to get is pussy. If you don't need to do all those things, if you don't need to be all of that in reality, and you can be it virtually, and still get the exact same pleasure points met, then why the fuck would you go out and work so hard to do all those things? Yeah, it's a biological thing. And I think that there are young men that will still go out, because they have their, they've been, whatever, they've been raised to do that, or they just have their own personal pride. I know many young men that are out doing the thing, and doing the traditional steps. We're not talking about them. We're not saying all young men, we're not saying all men. But there is a huge portion of men that have checked out because they are physically, and mentally, and emotionally getting their needs met without having to put in all the effort. And, oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, but like, and this is what drives me absolutely insane about the discourse around the male loneliness crisis. They will talk about everything but porn.

oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, but like, and this is what drives me absolutely insane about the discourse around the male loneliness crisis. They will talk about everything but porn. Every single think piece I've read, every single podcast I've heard, every single video I've watched, they are tying themselves in pretzels to not talk about porn when that is so obvious. It's like, it is, like I said at the start, we have perpetrated the world's biggest experiment on these kids. Like, we're just like, here you go, in all of human history, you have never had access to free, unmitigated, unfettered access to porn in the history of the world. And now we're just like, here you go, have it. I read an article the other day, these two guys, these researchers saying that they think that men are failing to launch or whatever because they saw, this is so stupid, because they saw their parents go through the 2008 financial crisis and struggle to come back from that. So now it's not worth it to them to work anymore. That's why young men are not launching. I'm sorry, the girls were there too. Like, it wasn't just like boys watching their dad lose his job, like the girls saw it as well. None of their answers for the male loneliness crisis is anything that a girl hasn't also experienced and they are thriving, but the boys are not. So I'm sorry, I'm just like, I am not a doctor, but what I have been doing my entire career is I watch what consumers do. Consumer behavior is 100% of what my career is. What stimulus excites them, what do they react to? Every single focus group I run, all of that stuff, it's watching how consumers behave and it's very basic. It's very basic. Our desires are basic and a boy's desire, very basic. So we've literally removed friction from every single aspect of their dopamine receptors. Well, and also, and to you brought up earlier, the girls, the 20% or whatever it is, we don't know, but we called it 20% of girls that are going to have standards and keep the bar up there and they make it harder.

They're blaming those girls for the loneliness epidemic, that their standards are so crazy and all that stuff. You mean the 20% are getting blamed? Yeah, yeah, the women are just like what they expect now and they want so much from men and it's just too much and all that. So if you take, if they're really viewing girls having anything above the lowest bar as hard and then porn, which makes everything, it's right there so easy, that goes back to what you're saying. We need to discuss porn when discussing the male lonely and the loneliness epidemic because that is countering any effort you need to put in to have any type of quality relationship. So that is the counter. If porn wasn't so accessible, they would have to jump through the hoops to meet some of these standards because they want to get laid, right? But they don't have to now. But so that is the core of the loneliness epidemic. Yes, the male loneliness epidemic. You were talking about boys have seen this crazy porn before they've held hands or had their-- Yes, yes. And I think that makes me kind of sad in some ways because I remember as hard as it was and it sucked, but being a young teen, your first dance and being nervous to want to dance with someone and then putting your hands on their hips and thinking this is kind of electric. And then your first kiss and then your, right? All that stuff, that's your rights of passage that happened in a natural human level, human communication interaction level. That's the way you're describing it and framing it. And you're probably, I think you're right. I can't find a way to, no reason to dispute it. That's not happening. You've already been desensitized to the whole thing without it actually happening. Well, and your development's been studied.

Well, and your development's been studied. That's what I'm saying. It's been studied and fucked up. You going through that and girls too, that's also adds to your emotional development and your sexual development. You're going through the normal stuff. It's a challenge and a hurdle you got through at a very emotional, personal level that built strength for the next milestone. You proved that you could do it. You're like, I have blue balls, but I live. Yes. And I didn't rape anybody, congrats. Yeah. And now they like, yeah, they've seen it all. Do you remember the first porn you saw? Yeah, I think it was behind the green door because it was on Cannonball Run. And so then I was like, what is that? And then I researched and I tried to, I don't know how I got access. I think I got snippets of it somehow. And it might've been from Cannonball, remember the movie Cannonball Run? I do, because I- They watched that behind the green door. So I don't know how I got access to it though. It was obviously not the internet. No. But at some point, and it wasn't necessarily right after I watched Cannonball Run, but whenever I got to an age where I could get access, whether it was someone's tape or something. It had to be. It was that one. Oh, that's I don't remember the name of it or anything, but I remember for seeing porn, my brother, he's like, look at this. Like he had the craziest story about how he acquired this game, that it cannot be true, but he said he found it on the side of the road. Oh, well, there you go. That's true for sure. That's true.

Oh, well, there you go. That's true for sure. That's true. That is real, to be honest. That is real. You were describing it earlier. I was like, that's hilarious. Cause I remember finding in the woods, like in a cul-de-sac development, a pile of like VHS or beta tapes. Yeah, of porn. Maybe your brother wasn't lying. I don't know, but anyway, so he found it. And then he's like, look at this. And we watched it together. This is weird. I know, I know, but I was probably, he was probably like, oh, I don't know, like 13. And maybe I was 15, something like that. And we're complete latch keys. So we had free reign. But I remember being so upset. I was like, that's what sex is. And cause it was a very graphic POV scene of like from behind, like a guy, like-- For the male gaze. Yeah, but it was a guy's butt. And I had, at that point, I was 15 years old. I had not seen a penis. I had not seen a naked man's butt. Like I hadn't seen any of that. And then all of a sudden I'm just seeing like balls whack. I'm like a woman. And I'm like, oh, I was crying. I was like, wait, I'm supposed to wanna do that? That looks horrible. And it was traumatizing. And I cannot help but think that these kids are seeing this at 10 years old and a lot of, especially the young girls. If young girls are seeing men hitting girls, choking girls, wanting to sleep with their stepmothers and whatever, what are these girls thinking? Well, at 10 years old when you still believe in Santa.

Well, at 10 years old when you still believe in Santa. Right. Like what the fuck? No, and I think that brings that back to what you talked about. We were talking about like, what do I like? I'm midlife just, and then, but if you go to girls, it's important to have the freedom of thought to figure out what you like sexually. And if you're having it dictated to you from the young age of 10, you never get to go through the natural experience of figuring that out on your own or with your boyfriend or with your girlfriend and that blossoming of your own sexual experience. It's just bombarded into the kids now with normalized fetishes, and it's so fucking warped. And to your point for a girl, so much of it is violence-based. Oh, yes. And submission-based. And not about her pleasure at all. No, no. And I still remember the first time when I was 17 and a boyfriend kissed me on the back of my neck, and I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna fully die." And a girl is getting kissed on the back of her neck. Oh, oh, don't. In a porn. No, like they're, oh, they'll hold them by the back of their neck, but they're not getting kissed. And even all of the activity in a porn is done, again, WWE-style for the camera, right? If you're gonna go down on a woman, nobody should see anything happening. Like it should look like nothing. If he's doing a good job. It should look like he's just there, kind of dead. Yes, yes. But now the boys are learning, that's how you do it. And the girls are learning, I should like this. And I think that's not talked about enough. And no one talked to us about, right? Like we thought penetration, that's what we should like. And if you're not having an orgasm from penetration, then something's wrong with you. Because no one talked about the clitoris.

Yeah, we just discovered it. Yeah, yeah. Did you know that? Like they just mapped it out. Did you see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the nerve endings. And how it's like a million times more nerve endings than a penis, and they just are now-- Just figured that out. Just figured that out. Oh, women. But then we didn't even know to talk about it with each other. No. Because it was more like, oh my gosh, like in porn's and in movies, the girl just gets fucked and she comes and it's amazing. And they come at the same time. Like all this bullshit, right? Or she's constantly just coming the minute he walked in the door. She's just like, he barely had to do anything. And so, but if you take that, like first of all, porn is the male gaze. There's no question about it. And they're so visual. But not only is there not education on how to truly pleasure a woman, which, oh, that makes me so mad. I think that should be discussed as much as anything. Can we just teach men how to truly pleasure a woman? Why is this a big fucking secret? We know everything about how to, we know how to give them head. We know everything they like. We know all their fucking fetishes. Do you know where the clitoris is? And if you do, do you know what to do to it? No. No, you don't know what to fucking do unless a woman has shown you. And it's so like-- You don't know what to do to it. I wish all men had to give a man head. Like it is hard to choke on a dick. Yes. Like it is exhausting. I have TMJ, you know, like what? And then to go down on a woman, relatively easy, relaxing. But here's the other thing. This is going back-- What the hell are you looking at me for? No, I mean, you should back that up because he does know what to do. I wouldn't be married to him for 33 years. Well, good. But I communicated though.

What the hell are you looking at me for? No, I mean, you should back that up because he does know what to do. I wouldn't be married to him for 33 years. Well, good. But I communicated though. It's not like he wasn't-- I think it just goes back to the whole-- They weren't educated. Gen X men were not educated on what to do. No. And if you had to feel, and I'll let you talk in a minute, you had to feel empowered as their female partner to say, this is what I like, and I like it when you do it this way, and you need to do it this way. And then if he actually gives a shit, and most men, I think most men, at least Gen X guys, do get off on getting a girl, oh, they're women off. Like that and turns them on, right? And that's why so many women fake it, because again, we're pleasing them. But I refuse, I've never, I will say I've never faked an orgasm. I'm like, fuck that shit. No, no, that's one thing I can say even from high school, I have never done it because fuck that. I'm so impressed. That's the one area I was like, I am either coming or not. And so you either figure this out, and this is what I like, and you figure it out, right? But if a woman can't tell him, or does it feel comfortable? Why can't we have the same-- What's that? Why can't we have the same attitude? What do you mean? Either figure it out or, right? This is what I like. But we have. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I mean, that's where the pygmies come from, right? Like we do research and study, and maybe even watched porn to figure out what it is like. I had a book that I would give to everybody at their bachelorette parties, when we were all in wedding season, when we were younger, and it was something like "How to Have,"

I don't remember, it was a better title than what I'm about to say, but basically it was like "How to Please a Man" written by a gay man. So it was a gay guy wrote this book, and it was about how to give head. It was about like how to even have a better bedroom, you know, like in all of this stuff. And I would give that to my friends, you know, like here you go, please a man. Right. And then how many of us, you unlock the memory, how many women, Gen X women especially, wouldn't let a guy go down on them because they were worried about how they smell, or how they taste it, because what did we hear our whole lives, "Oh, it's a fish taco," it's like, you know, like, "Oh, you need some summer's eve," or whatever. Oh my God. Yeah, it's true though. And guys who are big jokes. I was guilty of it too. Like a boy would be trying to go down there, I'd be like, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." I don't wanna be dirty. I have discharge. Like how gross are we, the way we talk about ourselves? Yes, and then they would make jokes. Like I would hear boys in middle school and high school making jokes about like the smell of a woman, the girl's pussy and all that, or about their boobs or whatever. And we just took it all, it was just part of it. So I think that, I think it would be incredible if a woman's pleasure could be discussed and dissected as much as man's. Like we've spent since the beginning of time on men and what gets them off. So maybe now in 2026, we can now talk about what gets a woman off, like as normally as anything else. I think that, wouldn't that just be the most enlightening thing? But again, you would have to put the female experience first because I don't know about you, but I'm not visual. I don't think women are visual creatures.

I don't wanna see a dick pic. Oh God. A dick pic concept is because men wanna see women's bodies. And so they think we wanna see their dick and balls. Yes. I don't think the majority of women get turned on when a dick and balls comes through on the phone. You wanna know what else I think about that? I think it goes back again to the whole frictionless aspect. Remember when we were young and we had flashers? Yes. Guys who would be out there like, you know, in a trench coat, I don't know why it's always a trench coat. They're always out there and they were flashing people, you know, and we had a flasher come by my office all the time until he got arrested. He would flash the girls outside the window and then he got caught. And then you would, you know, there's always like, remember Pee-Wee Herman, you know, remember? And then like, or guys, like guys you would hear get arrested, jerking off in their car or whatever. I think the dick pic again is just, oh, frictionless. I've always wanted to show the world my dick, but I was too chicken shit to be a flasher. Go be an actual flasher. Bring flashing back. It's exhibition. It's exhibition. Yes. Okay, so I wanted to ask you, Brian, though, as a guy, and of course, when you were a teenager and in your early 20s, and when we were friends and dating stuff, there were no phones, so there was no opportunity for you to send a dick pic to girls you dated or to me or anybody. But what is your outlook on men and boys sending dick pics to girls and women? I think it's crazy. I think it's weird. But that's me speaking, and maybe, you know, I think society shifts, right? So some things become acceptable. My frame of reference, that's not really acceptable, and I think it's weird. I think it's weird.

Do you think, did you, when you were growing up, were you led to believe that women wanna see dicks? I mean, for real. I'm sorry, that made me laugh. I don't know, for real. I wanna know, like, did Gen X boys, or do you think boys grow up thinking women want to literally see dick in balls? (Laughing) It is the funniest thing on earth. Like, because we know you guys wanna see pussies and tits, right, in our asses. And what blows my mind is that they want to see the-- The hole. The hole. They wanna see the hole. And they wanna see dicks going in and out of the hole. Yeah. Who is mind-boggled? I'm like, you actually want to see-- They're visual. But who wants, like, I don't want, I think I don't wanna look at any of it. Yeah. Well, no, if you want-- Show me a nice butt and show me nice boobs. I love boobs. Right. I do too, I like boobs too. Yeah. Yeah, but I think if you see, I think that's why women like soft porn. Remember soft porn, that was a thing. Soft porn was a thing where they weren't actually penetrating, but they were more just showing the act. You know what I'm talking about, right? The shitty porn is what we call it. I think that was more, I actually, I honestly don't think I've ever seen any. It would be the Cinemax, the Skin-a-Max shift, that's like soft porn. Yeah, so they weren't-- Oh, we didn't have cable in my town until 1992. Oh my God. I think you mentioned that in your episode, right? So we talked about MTV. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that makes sense. So they weren't actually penetrating. Oh, that's lovely. And it's just more like the motion. Aw. I think-- Like dry humping. Dry humping. Remember dry humping? Spooning.

Oh, that's lovely. And it's just more like the motion. Aw. I think-- Like dry humping. Dry humping. Remember dry humping? Spooning. I was thinking about that, because I saw somebody talk about making out, and how it's so sad that once you're grown adults, men just wanna get to the good part, and you never make out anymore. And all those things were so dry humping. That was great. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. And I think both parties can come from dry humping. Yeah. Like it's-- And you don't even have to. Like you just go crazy there for a little bit. Yeah, and then you're like, but that's part of the slow burn, right? You get all hot and bothered, and then maybe you don't finish, and then maybe the next day it's even more exciting. But you're right, I think that's more of an adolescent experience, or a beginning of a relationship experience. But maybe not anymore. I don't even know if it exists anymore, if they even do it anymore. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So back to the dick pic. Like do you think boys grow up thinking, because they know what they like. That they're never explained to them, that's not necessarily what girls like, and they don't necessarily wanna see. Like did you think girls wanted to see that? I think that we know that you wanna see it, and you're denying yourself. (Laughing) They really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't think we thought about it. I think sure, we probably thought, yeah.

I think that we know that you wanna see it, and you're denying yourself. (Laughing) They really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't think we thought about it. I think sure, we probably thought, yeah. Right, but until you get a different frame of, or a perspective, you think whatever you're thinking is what the other person wants. So it would only make sense. I wanna see that all, you wanna see it all. That's a male perspective. 100% male perspective. Because of women, we grew up thinking of others and what they want before what we want, but the men think, well of course they want what we want. They don't think that you would have a different outlook. It's coming from them, where we are like what they want. You're serving, we're being served. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because your frame of reference is always you. Right. 100%. That's why when I talk about, I talk about the three P's. And that is why when I talk about the three P's of male motivation, pay, praise and pleasure, I think that men believe women operate the same exact way and that is how they're convinced. And I know this is a whole other topic, but that is how they're convinced that we love to clean and we love to cook. Because if we didn't get pleasure out of it. Why would we do it? Why would we do it? Because they don't do anything that they don't wanna do. Yes, and so they've straight up convinced themselves. Yes, like why would she kill herself over the holidays to make everything wonderful? Right, she loves it. She must love it. Yeah, not, yeah. Because they were, and they don't do it. That's why we're doing it all.

Yeah, not, yeah. Because they were, and they don't do it. That's why we're doing it all. So that's a fun circle to be on. I like that hamster wheel. Isn't that a good time? I do think though it's, again, it's a shame that some of this stuff has changed so much because you do learn, we, I don't think we're the last generation to learn from the courtship and the sexual evolution of whatever relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend thing you were in as we were growing up, right? You learn, and then you learn to going into it. Yeah, you wanna see dick pics. You wanna see a picture of my dick. But then once you start dating someone and you're intimate with them and it's your girlfriend for a little while and you start to develop feelings and emotions and you wanna satisfy your partner as well, you start to evolve. But this is sort of where that, by skipping to the end product, then you're not evolving that same way. And it's a slow pace, but you don't evolve with the same steps. And that's a bad thing, I think. Yeah, because like you're saying, you guys would assume you wanna see dick pics and just start with what you know. And then as you get involved with someone, you learn, well, maybe that's not it or whatever. Or you learn like, okay, this is actually what she likes. So let me evolve to that.

But if you've removed the courtship, you've removed the crossing the room to talk to the girl and have to ask her on the date, to have the courage to do that. There is so much, I think, said to becoming a man, to even going through those rituals of you need to have the courage to walk over there and she's with her friends and you take the risk to say, "Hey, can I get your number?" Or, "Hey, can I get your Snapchat?" Or, "Can I take you out tomorrow?" And you might get rejected and you might not. But if you don't get rejected, and that's like you and your buddies are high five and she talked to you, she didn't shit on you and you got to put your hands on her hips or something, and she's doing the same with her friends. And I find that sad that it sounds like that might, I don't think it's lost completely. But they don't want the friction. They don't want the friction, yeah. It goes back to, "Oh, apps make it easy. Just browse women like a catalog. No friction, no friction. Easy, easy, easy. Maybe I'll get a hit. Maybe not. Maybe I'll get a million women. Woo hoo hoo." You know, and it's kind of like going back to the dick pic thing. Were you ever tempted to take a picture of your dick and like bring it to the photo, Matt? You're asking me? Yeah. No, it's a fucking crazy question. No, I know, right? No, no, because again, it goes back to the potential for friction and shame. And exposure. Exposure because you dropped it off at the film developing place and the lady at CVS saw your dick, right? Now, oh, like no friction, dicks out everywhere. Yeah. And we've created this ease of access to things that shouldn't be accessed. Yes. Because again, this is the flasher. We used to arrest a flasher. Yes.

Yeah. And we've created this ease of access to things that shouldn't be accessed. Yes. Because again, this is the flasher. We used to arrest a flasher. Yes. Now you're just getting flashed by some guy who you talked to for two minutes on hinge. Yeah. I thought I saw a social media thing saying maybe it's if you're sending it to underage, meaning like even if a 16 year old boy sent it to a 16 year old girl, that can be considered assault. Yeah, or child pornography. Child pornography, like they even if they're underage, if they're sending it to an underage girl, I think legally there's-- I think so. Depends on the state. I think it depends on the state. I bet in Florida, yeah. I bet in Rhode Island, maybe not, right? I don't know. It's a little different. We're free wheeling up there. No, yeah. But I think it should be assault. I think if you open your phone-- I mean, if it's still illegal to be a flasher, which I believe it is. Then it should be illegal to send shit like that. Oh, I'm just connecting the dots. The equivalency is you're saying a dick pic is the equivalent of a flasher. Yeah. Yeah. It is, and I think at least 50% of those-- I didn't ask you to. Yeah. You know? So you're saying maybe this is what I'm obtuse or slow. It's the, you weren't asked to send a dick pic. This is just some random you and I met. Like you're on your flight tonight. That's how everyone's getting them. They're not solicited. No, I'm not. It's an unsolicited dick pic. Yes, yes, yes. Although, although if you ask a man, to hear the man tell it, the legend has it that one woman on a mountain somewhere once was like, send me your dicks. And they heard about her. That's like the Ricola. Send me your dicks. (Laughing) It's like, dicola. (Laughing)

(Laughing) It's like, dicola. (Laughing) You're so right though. No, no, no, no. I've seen so many women on social media talk about how guys on hinge that they haven't even gone on a date with or had any much of a conversation with, they just have swiped. And then the man just sends them a dick pic. Incoming. She doesn't know. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. I think that's like a soul. I think at least 50% of the men are getting off simply from sending that and knowing she saw it. That's what I'm saying. Like in, there are many men who would have been the flasher had they like, there not been a threat of getting arrested. They need these guard rails. Yes. They do. They need some kind of threat to stop them from their most basic instinct. That's how many dicks I have in my phone. I have a collection of dicks. And I just kept them because I'm just like, you know what? Maybe I could use this someday. Maybe one day I will find this guy's Facebook and be like, hey, it's his dick. I didn't want it now. You don't want it either. Yeah, yeah. Or that one page of are we dating the same guy? You could be like, well, does this dick look like, have you seen that page? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could just send like, well, is this a picture? Yeah, yeah, totally. Are they, are these? Good dicks? No, no. Are they like hard on like full blown wood? It's never soft. Oh, it's never, oh my God. They're giving up your size secret. I have never seen a soft dick. Like a picture of a soft dick. A picture of a soft dick. Are we for real? That is crazy. No, but that means they worked themselves up and then took a picture. Yeah, because like they get the effort.

A picture of a soft dick. Are we for real? That is crazy. No, but that means they worked themselves up and then took a picture. Yeah, because like they get the effort. I think this is the whole plan, right? The plan is, is that look, my dick is hard. What am I gonna do with it? Send me a pic back so I have something to do with this here hard dick. Again, service me. No, no, no, no, no. I think you hit it. You put some effort in it. You got it hard before you sent it. Showing some work. No, I think that they're wanting, they're wanting, you're right though. They're like, so what do you have for me? Yeah, because they need something that they want a picture back. These men want pictures all the way. And they also, it's like fishing. They think if they throw in a hard dick, she's gonna bite and now they caught a fish. So I will say this is a unique Gen X perspective because I got divorced in 2011, right? And then all the technology just happened. So I'm also dating Gen X men or attempting to. And these men didn't learn the lesson of what you were saying that, oh, she doesn't wanna do this back to me. You know what I mean? Like, because why would they have ever learned that lesson? Dick pics were new because they weren't taking them and going to the photo mat and developing their dick. So they have this technology. And the first thing that happens with all technology is can I fuck it? And so that's it. So are they putting porn on the internet as the very first thing that they did? Yeah, like four seconds after they made the internet.

Yeah, like four seconds after they made the internet. Four seconds after they created photography or actual film, it was naked, porn, fucking an animal, like all sorts of stuff. And now they have a phone and they can be like, snap, look at my dick and send it to somebody. It was like, that's what they do. It was like putting a virus out there just to attack the rest of the world. All these Gen X men were like, I can send my dick to everybody. And they were like, yay, I'm gonna get tits back. And they didn't realize that we were never doing that. Cause we're not morons. I have had so, like, why would I send you my body parts out into the internet for you to show your friends? That's the part I'm struggling with as far as like, I think it's weird to take a picture of your dick, period. I think it's even more weird to send it to someone, period. And why would you do that to yourself? Because men have no concern for their bodies. That is why men do not care if they have sex on the first date and they actually will like do that, not knowing that girl, not caring if they get pregnant, not caring if they get a disease. They'll go to a glory hole. They have no concern for their health and wellbeing. They're like, here's my dick, whatever. Do you think that's desperation though? Like, cause we're always chasing and we're always ready, but it's not always available? Cause that feels desperate. You tell me. It feels desperate to me, like a glory hole. It's not something I would do, right? For all the reasons, disease, maybe it's number one, but who knows what's on the other side? Right. But that just feels desperate truck stop type of shit, right?

Right. But that just feels desperate truck stop type of shit, right? Yeah. You're on the road, you haven't had it in a while, it's you need something. It's just the sexual desire has obliterated any rational thought. But it's a physical, it is a biological event. All of this is biology, right? There's hormones involved and very powerful hormones. There's a chemical chemistry thing going on here, which is overtaking the brain, obviously. Yeah. It's the second brain, we have our second brain, maybe it's the first. My Roman empire is always thinking about what a male's orgasm feels like and how I truly think ours is better. Yeah, I wonder. And we're not as nearly motivated, but I think it would make sense that ours would be better because they like physically were the ones who, were the ones who grow up. So we need to need one thumb. Yes. So that it keeps us reproducing. Right, but we can still keep it in check. But I think it's my dream that before I die, they'll make a machine, a simulator. Well, they've done it for menstrual cramps. Yeah, yeah. So it would be interesting because I've always wondered, I've always thought it must be fucking amazing. I know, but recently, I've changed my line of thinking and I've started thinking maybe it's not. Well, they came out with that study that art, we have like a gazillion more nerve endings than the penis on our clitoris. So, because it is, it does, but then they have so much testosterone. And I think testosterone is pushing the drive for them. Well, maybe that's all it is. We don't have the drive. It's like they're always feeling like they wanna fuck. And that's the friction. They wanna fuck, they wanna fuck. So, and that's constant where we don't have that, like when we are turned on and relax, I always say, relax and turned on are synonymous. They go hand in hand. But when we're relaxed and turned on, then we're ready to go. Then we have the drive, but we're not just doing the dishes and like, I gotta fuck something right now. But I also, I remember in my, no, but I was in my 30s after my divorce and that like all coincided with like the peak of my own hormones, I guess. I was like, this must be what it's like to be a man because I remember certain situations, I would feel like a haze come over me where I was like, I have to get laid.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, whoa, I'm a dude. (Laughing) But if they always feel that way. Well, that's very distressing that they're in charge then, isn't it? Yeah. Because if you're walking around with like, you can't think straight with a hard dick and you're running the country, like what, make it any of it makes sense. Right. I like it cause you're like, I can't focus. I have blue balls, I'm like losing my mind, pussy, pussy, pussy. Right, but it also-- Oh, but here's the button, here you go. Right, right, right. Why don't you have the nuclear codes? Right, right. Sounds smart. It also explains why women are constantly in danger of men. Like constantly. Cause I said in one of our episodes in our first, I don't know which one, man versus bear, if all the men stayed home for 24 hours, we'd all just walk around any time of day with no worries. We would at two in the morning go on a walk alone in the dark with nothing else. And so, but I think that that drive definitely has to do with why men are so dangerous. I think it's a biological event, biological thing. And it's the friction point where Roey's ready, you're not. And it's just, it is what it is. So if you end up with-- Some guys don't control their impulses, right? And that's where things go sideways for everybody. And there's a lot of variables in there and why they don't and obviously note guy, whatever he's called, I don't think he controlled his impulses. That's an example. Which one, the guy left the voicemail? The voicemail, you're not controlling your impulses. I think they are. I just think the lie, I can totally rationalize the behavior. I don't find it acceptable, but I can rationalize it for a new generation who's been fucked up by us, us our Gen Xers, right?

I just think the lie, I can totally rationalize the behavior. I don't find it acceptable, but I can rationalize it for a new generation who's been fucked up by us, us our Gen Xers, right? You're saying communicate your feelings. It's okay to communicate and make sure your intentions are known. Well, that's what that is, but that's fucked up. I feel like that's manipulation and gaslighting. I don't think he's communicating his feelings. I think he's trying to know that's probably exactly what he felt. I do believe that is exactly what he felt. And that's why so many men are defending him because they wanna say the quiet part out loud. That's what he did. I have a question for you. I personally think that most men don't actively like women. Don't want them as friends. They tolerate women to get access to their body parts and also the cool services that we provide, like a nice clean house and cooked food. And children. And because that is why back to the voicemail guy, why so many men are defending him is because they wanna be able to say that. They wanna be able to say, I don't wanna spend another minute with you unless we're fucking. And have her be cool with that. Two part question really. I'll go to the second point that comes top of mind. We've talked about this in some of our Gen Z guests, I think, or millennials, whatever Kai is. Gen Z. And how, and even, yeah, so that would be Ollie too. There's girls who want to date guys just for the free meal. And there's guys who-- I think that's a myth. Don't wanna pay for it. So I think the dynamics are fucked up is where I'll leave that, I guess. I don't know if it's guys don't like girls in that scenario, but I just think the dynamics are just completely off the charts.

I do think though there definitely are men who don't like women that just cannot stand them and blame women for all their problems and troubles and all of that. But they still want them. Like even though they don't like them. But back to like the free meal myth, the reason why I say it's a myth is because it's kinda like men who say that they got friend zoned, right? So a friend zone is also a myth because you didn't actually had a friend. You had a guy who was laying in wait till he could fuck you, till you said, okay, let's be more than friends. The free meal thing is men just coping and being mad that women go out with them and end up not sleeping with them. That's all that that is. And so they create another mythology for themselves saying, oh, these women out here are just using you for a free meal, AKA going out on a date that didn't result in getting laid. Believe me, we do not, we can buy food. And I don't wanna waste a night with a guy I don't like for free food. So do you think-- I'll have girl dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think then those stories where the girls are demanding, I'll say demanding, I might use the wrong words, right? I'm not attributing blame. But where they'll demand a good dinner, they wanna go to the steakhouse and not the fucking Taco Bell. And that's their standard though. Their standard is you need to send an Uber or a car to come get me, bring me to the restaurant and I want a good meal. And I know it's our first date. Is that standards or is that-- I think that's standards. I personally have never heard a woman, whether it's a friend of mine or my kids, and their friends who are all, we're all dating on the apps and all that stuff, never once have heard of this other than online.

Same, I've never heard of the reality. I think that is a very like online take. Do you think that that's people making up that scenario? Do you think that's actually even happened? I mean, I think again, I think it's like the decala, the decala, like the one woman on the mountain, because I do find that men are like, can weirdly be a monolith. Like you'll get this like one idea and it'll all just like back to voice note guy, all the men glommed onto the idea that he was just asserting a boundary, right? That it's boundary, boundary, boundary. They're all like using the same exact terminology. Like they'll pick, I'm not saying women don't do this, you know, like, because women do this as well. People tend to do it. But I think it's like mythological. I know what you're talking about, because I've seen it. And maybe some women have said it, you know, there's all like, there's the sheer seven woman, you know, who's very much like get money, you know, and all this stuff out of men and all of that. Oh, I haven't seen that. So maybe it's been advised. Like maybe there have been creators out there, like women saying, you know what, tell him to get you an Uber, go only to the steakhouse, have this guy, you know, really prove himself or whatever. And then men heard that and assumed women actually started doing it. That's just a theory. Or it's a small group of women doing it. And it's an exception, but it's not the rule. I think most people and women, okay, so I think most girls or women, I should say, would like the man to pay for their meal, but are totally fine splitting the bill as well, but just don't wanna be treated that the meal entitles them to getting laid that night. And if they don't fuck them, then there's gonna be backlash, that the meal is not coercion.

So-- I really wonder, I think about that a lot, like when did that start? Because you guys were raised to take girls out and you accepted, you didn't think you were just gonna fuck her if you took someone out on a date. You never even crossed the archival. Never, and it didn't cross our mind that we're gonna automatically sleep with him. Never. And that if he's paying, we should feel like we should. Exactly, when did that, who started that? That feels like it's been in the last, like what, six, seven years? I don't know. I honestly don't know because I went from, it must be recently, right? Because I went from dating in the 90s to then dating in the 2010s plus again, and I didn't feel that way once ever. It never even occurred to me that if somebody paid for my meal, that he was gonna expect services from him. Wonder if it's a generational thing. Yeah. Is it since COVID? Is it since the older Gen Zs since COVID then started hitting dating? Yeah, because they all say-- They all got out of college and start dating. They all say, I will go 50-50 on a date because I don't want him to think I owe him something. Right. Who told them that? Is it just a message in social media that took off? Maybe it's the guys, right? This fucking guy's calling saying, if we're not having sex by day two, maybe they're the ones who started this. Like, I took this girl out to dinner and I keep getting burned. I'm not getting laid after the first date. So that could be the genesis of it. I don't know. I've seen on social media where girls have said that the guy did pay, but since she didn't go home with him, he sent her a Zell request. That's what I'm saying. I have seen that. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. I have seen that. Yeah. First, I just think the audacity, like to your point, earlier, what women raised these men? Like what women raised men to do such a thing? I don't know. And that's where shame should come in. Yeah. Because if you spent, let's say 150 bucks on a nice, if it's two kids and maybe they got a bottle wine, it's a nice steakhouse. So let's say 150 bucks. I'll go there. That sounds cheap. Yeah, I know. I'm thinking like when we go, but we're eating way more than we should. So let's just say 150 bucks. So if she didn't have sex with you and you're like, okay, I'm not interested. It just take the law. It costs you 150 bucks to take this girl out, but you don't send her a Zell request. It's like you move on. I think, this is just me thinking it through. I think it's online dating culture, right? So if you have endless options and you're just like, they are dating more than they ever would have in our day and age. Like because you just didn't come across that many people because you couldn't browse them online. So if you did go out with, you did ask a woman out and you took her out or whatever, you weren't and you spent that $150, you weren't immediately doing it again the next day with a different girl. And that's what they're doing. They're actively like just blowing through women. And so yeah, it does get expensive. That's it, that's absolutely. Cause it also, dating was special, right? Cause it was staggered. So you might've gotten a date and then you may not get another date for a month or two or longer. Really? What do you mean? Like back in our day. Cause you wouldn't meet somebody. You may not meet someone that you wanna go on a date with. Okay, I gotcha.

Really? What do you mean? Like back in our day. Cause you wouldn't meet somebody. You may not meet someone that you wanna go on a date with. Okay, I gotcha. So maybe you took this one girl out, but then that didn't work out. But it may be three months later before you get another date. So that a hundred bucks isn't gonna be as big of a hit. But now the next day, the one girl that it worked out. The serial dating. The serial dating, yeah. So that makes sense then. That's where they're feeling like I can't afford to date. So we're gonna split it or I'm gonna get fucked. I better get laid here. I better get laid. The only reason they're doing it is to get laid, right? And that's why they're blowing through so many checks. Unless they're like seriously not dateable, right? And every girl is like turning, like being like, ew. Right, right, right, yeah. And so, but if they just, just like the stupid voice note guy, if he had just like my mom would say, cool this jet. He had gotten invited to her house. And had he just been like, great, I have an opportunity to prove myself a little bit more and get her to wanna get there in what, a week? Yeah. These people are acting like he was either do it that day or you're never getting laid. Yeah. Do you guys believe the video, the voicemail that was put up or is it just for views? Like, cause this is so, I agree with you. Oh, I think it was a real voice note, yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was too weird to not be, because even the way he was talking with like, and like the way, nobody could have made that up. Yeah, it sounds real and she's real.

Okay. Yeah, it was too weird to not be, because even the way he was talking with like, and like the way, nobody could have made that up. Yeah, it sounds real and she's real. Yeah. The girl who posted it, who he asked. So, and I've seen, it sounds bad. I haven't heard anything straight like voice note guy, but I've heard voice mails the girls have shared and it's shocking what some of these, what some of these men, young men feel comfortable saying with their full chest and men our age, with their full chest knowing this is being recorded, you could be exposed and they're fine with that. And they're fine texting it. Yes. All the texts that you see like, oh, look at this discussion that I had. It's shocking. There's no, they feel no risk. Yeah. And that's what's concerning is that, they really think this behavior is okay because they're not nervous to put it out there. That's true. That's it right there, isn't it? Yeah, in their core, they're like, what's wrong with this? Yeah. I see this is why I say it's not all porn because I think that's an accountability gap. So I think it's just this cocktail. I don't, I think you're onto something and porn is a multiplier where, you know, it's heavily involved, but there's so much wrong. No, there is a lot wrong. And my main issue, and I'm definitely not saying in this entire discussion that the only thing that's wrong with young men is porn. It's a huge problem though. And they're never adding it to the mix in any of these discussions about what's going on with young men. And it's so disturbing that they're not adding it to the mix when it's the biggest thing that has shifted. You know who I have seen some people added to the mix, but it's conservative people. And that's the problem that is also the problem.

You know who I have seen some people added to the mix, but it's conservative people. And that's the problem that is also the problem. And then people will not listen just because they're, and you know who did? As Charlie Kirk talked about it, but he's people are so triggered by him for whatever reason, that's fine. But in that area, they're comfortable talking about it, but it won't reach the masses. Because they tie it to church. They do tie it to religion. Right. They, you know, and overall purity culture. Right. So therefore either you are all or nothing. All into it, or you are part of purity culture. And there's gotta be a middle ground. What's wrong with purity culture though? In terms of what? I mean, I think it's very misogynistic. I think it's obviously unrealistic, but I think it puts a lot of blame onto women and expectations of women to not have sex with other men and to be virgins, or if they have had sex, to abstain until they meet their husband. Do you think it's misogynistic in the traditional sense of that word, I guess? Or is it? Oh sure. Furity culture is all wrapped up in like, how long a skirt is. If you're showing your shoulders, you know, like all of that stuff is very, it's just, it's save yourself for a man, you know, like it's doing it in service of men and protecting men from seeing women's body parts, or you know, because men can't be controlled. It's the same shit as our daughter, the girls at her high school couldn't wear spaghetti straps. She couldn't show your shoulders. Why? Because of the boys.

It's the same shit as our daughter, the girls at her high school couldn't wear spaghetti straps. She couldn't show your shoulders. Why? Because of the boys. Because of the boys. So they can't control themselves, or like, why is it the girls responsibility? And our daughter who just naturally has a large chest, she would wear tank tops to school that other girls wore that didn't have a large chest and she would be called down and be, I can't tell you how pissed off I was about that, but I didn't find out till she got home. But fuck that shit. Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, that's a whole nother area, but it is to protect the men. It's weaponized modesty. There's nothing wrong with being modest. I mean, women can be modest or not modest. Women should be able to do whatever they want. It's weaponized modesty for the benefit of men. Does that make sense? No, it makes sense. And I do think it's a shame. I think it's a shame that being anti-porn is conflated with being religious or being approved or any of that stuff. And again, I am not anti-porn. I'm anti-kids watching it. Like this is not hard. Like it is not rocket math. They shouldn't be watching it. Give them the opportunity to grow up and go through puberty without being bombarded with 24 seven access to things that are crazy. It's inappropriate for their developmental state. There are things that are appropriate for adults that are not appropriate for children. Yeah, it's not age appropriate. What do you think of our law here though? Because you do have to provide proof of age.

Yeah, it's not age appropriate. What do you think of our law here though? Because you do have to provide proof of age. I think it's good. Yeah, I think that we as parents need to do more. And I definitely think it would be relatively easy to revert back to the way it used to be, which is computer in the kitchen and you're using it for homework, you're doing whatever and you do not need a phone with apps. Yeah. Like period. And then again, this is me kind of like throwing shade to Gen X, but we try so hard to be cool. We really want it to be cooler than our boomer and silent gen parents. And cause they weren't cool. They had rules and they didn't try to be our friends, all of that stuff. And we kinda wanna keep up with the Joneses on that front and we're like, oh, we don't wanna embarrass our kids by having them be the only one without a smartphone and all that stuff. It would be very easy. I think, and I personally think it will happen because I'm hoping like maybe millennials or, like you were saying about your son, he knows. And he's like, I do not. I was talking to the young bartenders yesterday and the one woman was like, oh, my kids not getting phones and they are, but we wrecked it. You know what though, they're doing what we did. So we were feral and left our own devices and know what we were exposed to and what we potentially could have suffered and different, and some of us did suffer because of not being supervised and being neglected. So we made sure, we became helicopter parents to make sure where they're not gonna be. So they're almost doing what we did. They know what technology did to them. So they're not gonna let technology do it to their kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're kind of repeating what we did in a day. They may become helicopter parents. It's all an evolutionary thing. With technology. I can see that. I could see them becoming helicopter parents with technology. And I think it's great. I love the idea of a flip phone that has the technology in it where you can still track your kids. You can do whatever. And you can still have family texts and texts, but it doesn't have access to, but you're like, it's never gonna happen. It's not gonna fucking happen. There's way too much money involved in this shit and there's way too many, all politicians are corrupt and all these tech companies will just keep buying people. Well, I'm gonna push back on that a little bit because the same could have been said for the cigarette industry, the alcohol industry, like they did end up getting the parental advisory stickers on the, you know-- The rap albums and everything. That nobody pays attention to who gives a shit. But I would say definitely with cigarettes, they were the biggest ones, right? And so kids used to be able to smoke and then kids weren't able to smoke. And then you were, you know, everybody was able to smoke. And I honestly, God don't even know who smokes anymore. Well, cigarettes are coming back. Are they? Not only. Anti vaping, which I hate vaping. No. No, cigarettes are now becoming more acceptable. You're gonna start seeing them in movies, TV shows, magazines again. Cigarettes in Rhode Island are like $15 a pack. Oh my God. Yeah, with the taxes on them and everything. It's crazy. I'm like, who can afford them?

Oh my God. Yeah, with the taxes on them and everything. It's crazy. I'm like, who can afford them? I don't even know how much they are. People still smoke up there though, right? It's a smoking state, isn't it? People can smoke? No, but I mean do people smoke? Because I know in New Jersey people smoke. Yeah, I see people vaping a lot. And people do smoke and I'm always shocked by it. Because I'm like, if you had a pack a day habit, they go, are you a billionaire? I wonder how much they are in Florida. I don't know how much they're in Florida. So I used to smoke in college, like social smoke. Yeah, we do. And I have a pack of American spirits and a humidor in our room. There's like some dead cigars in there. We haven't smoked in years. And a pack just for some day I might have another cigarette. Because I used to, even up till 10 years ago, when I'd go out with my girlfriends, we'd all be like, let's have a cigarette. Oh no, me too, me too. But now if I, I don't know, my body just doesn't tolerate anything anymore. So I'm afraid if I smoked, I don't know, a cigarette sounds good. Yeah. Oh, a drink? A smoke? Oh. I know what you guys are gonna do. The best American spirit, that's what you have. Oh my God. They're like, they're healthy. Oh yeah. That's right, they were healthy. They're organic. They're gonna start selling them out whole food. Yeah, yeah, for sure. No idea, but cigarettes I think are gonna come back. But I don't know, speaking as a IT guy, do you see there any shift in protections with children and pornography? Is it even possible? Well, it's happening, right? We have a law here and if you wanna go look at porn in the state of Florida, they know your IP address, where you're coming from, and you have to do an age verification.

Well, it's happening, right? We have a law here and if you wanna go look at porn in the state of Florida, they know your IP address, where you're coming from, and you have to do an age verification. So that's one thing, however, there are VPNs. That's what I was gonna say. And there's proxies that, so that shit. And the kids get VPNs on their phones. So they can't be tracked with the porn. They do? 100%. They get VPNs. I don't think, here's why I don't think it's gonna happen. The smoking and the alcohol are two physical things and you can see it and you can't conceal it. But pornography can remain invisible because it's on your phone. Yeah, but not if we give the kids phones or we don't give them phones anymore. And as a product person, I can say, if I worked for Apple, right? I would say we have a lane here. We can develop a phone that is cool, that looks good, that the kids still want and whatever, but parents, and here's my big sales pitch, right? We can give it to them even younger, right? Because it's very, like now we wanna keep kids off screens and all this stuff, but now you could have a cool phone for a kid that you could give it to them at five years old because it's even safer and this way you can track them, they can be part of a family text, whatever. Look, I already, I just made it. Congrats, Apple, call me. Yeah, and there's, no, it's a good point. There's no screen. It's funny, I would always say like-- You can even include a screen, but just lock it down. No internet, I was screen for texting, lock it down.

You can even include a screen, but just lock it down. No internet, I was screen for texting, lock it down. Because I've always said, even when our youngest was too young to get a phone and I was able to track our older to his teens, I was like, but the youngest, when he would go somewhere, I was like, I really wanna track him, he's little. I think he was with friends on a Playdate or something, I still would wanna know where he is. Aspen and Vipac have flip phones. Who did? My daughters. Oh, they have them now? No, they did. When they were that little, they had a flip phone that they actually shared. That's cool. Yeah, that's what they had. And they would say, even as teens, they both wish technology stopped with flip phones. Yeah, well, flip phones, they're making a comeback. Have you seen that on social media? Yeah, because people wanna unplug. The younger generation is wanting, like the alphas are wanting to flip. And some people are saying the alphas are gonna actually reject technology in general. Oh, I think that they already have. I work on a lot of college campuses with my job and you see kids all the time now with old school iPods, with wired headphones and old school iPods because they know, they don't want the distraction, they just wanna listen to the music. And they also, it makes sense, because they also saw us on our phones all the time and they do not wanna be like their parents. That's just like the natural way kids do go over time. And they saw how uncool their parents were posting on Facebook. They're like, look at all those geezer losers. Right, yeah, no, it's true. I never thought about that, but that's part of that cycle.

Right, yeah, no, it's true. I never thought about that, but that's part of that cycle. So maybe there is, I don't know, I don't know with porn. I don't know if there's any hope. I don't know. I think honestly, and they keep saying it all the time, it's just gonna be AI, a lot more interaction there. It'll be robots, it'll be like AI girlfriends. And that's also what's interesting to me because you will hear them talk about that. You will hear guys on podcasts and whatever allude to the AI girlfriend. There's already been that one story about the young boy who killed himself because he had an AI girlfriend who was telling you, oh, we can meet in the afterlife or whatever she was saying and he did kill himself. They will talk about that. But this is my theory again. I think they don't talk about the actual porn because they really like it. They want the real, and they're like, I could, eh. I don't need an AI girlfriend. I got a wife, but I definitely wanna-- But they want the porn. Yeah, I definitely wanna watch this anal, big booty stepmom. Oh, we were gonna talk about anal too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so what did Dr. Drew say about anal? This is years ago, but he said anatomically speaking or medically speaking, it's not healthy for you. And he came up with some stat, like if you have even one time, it's not good. And so people who are doing it multiple times and becomes part of the playbook, it's just, it's compounding or exponentially worse. Now, was this for just women? No, for men too. No, for men too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then that would be like the whole gay culture though. But a lot of gay men don't have anal sex. And this is what's very interesting is that there's,

No, for men too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then that would be like the whole gay culture though. But a lot of gay men don't have anal sex. And this is what's very interesting is that there's, in the gay male sex world, when they do plan to have anal sex, they prep for it. Like they have, they will maybe take a laxative, they will clean it all out, maybe do an enema, something like that. I learned all of this years ago from some gay friends that I had. And the thing of it is, is that straight men are just wanting to jam it in. And they are always like, you hear about it all the time, how they're surprised doing it to women. Like, oh, it's slipped or whatever. So they're actually causing women more harm because they're not properly lubing it up or having any care. The woman isn't like planning to do it because there's no talk about that in straight culture. So she's just like, oh, you know, I've had three margaritas, let's try it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is not how it should be at all. And that's where more risk for harm comes. That sounds like assault. Yeah, oh, it is, it is. Surprised anal, that's assault. Yeah, for sure it is. If you didn't agree to that, yeah. 100%. I think it makes perfect sense, and I think that normalizing anal sex, again, just puts so much pressure on the woman to allow more access to her body than she's already giving, and I think a lot of coercion comes into that. And I'm not saying it can't be pleasurable for women, because I know there's gonna be women out there saying, like, I love it, and that's great. But like you just said, it needs to be communicated, prepped, part of the repertoire going in, because it's a major thing to have something penetrate you in general. I don't think men understand, even when you're having sex, you're accepting a physical part of someone else's body into you and all of their energy. That's never discussed, but all of the energy that goes in, you're receiving so much in that act. And that's what the part of your body that's made for that, right? Then to try to put all of that into a part of your body that like you said earlier, it's painful.

It's insane that that's just kind of something that should be offered, along with a blowjob. Another item on the list, on the menu of services. We should not normalize that. No, I know. Like 15-year-old girls should not even, it should not even be in their mind. No, exactly, and it wasn't in our mind. No. Right? I think I thought gay guys did it when I was young, or maybe that's how I learned that that is what they do. It never occurred to me. In my first marriage, it never came up. And it wasn't until later. Like it was like, yeah. No, it wasn't, and girls should not even be, it shouldn't even be in their realm. Well, what's so bizarre, honestly, is that we are in such a weird moment in the country of this bizarre, like Puritan attitude when it comes to school and what kids, like we've banned all these books again. We've done, like we don't wanna give sex education. Like the parents have gotten to be so weird where everybody's like, I'm gonna homeschool my kids and no sex ed and blah, blah, blah, and we can't have sex ed in school and all this stuff. Yeah, they're getting it all on their phone. In this manner. Like this is crazy. And then you're gonna have a school system that's trying to teach abstinence only, like makes sense. Where is that happening? No, that happens all the time. Like they try to fight for that constantly. Like, you know, and it's just insane. I mean, I've heard of that on the fringes, but I don't, I mean, here, they're still teaching sex ed and everything, but maybe there's people fighting against it. But we still have, I mean, my kids had, there was sex ed, even in the Catholic school, they did sex ed in the Catholic school. Did they do it? Did you have it? Growing up, yeah. But of course even--

Did they do it? Did you have it? Growing up, yeah. But of course even-- Yeah, but ours was the fucking projector where there's a record and it goes boop, and then you switch to the next slide. And it was showing that boys had hairy armpits, right? And that kind of stuff. I don't know what the boys learned at all. Like in our, when they separated the boys and the girls, they said, or in sixth grade, it wasn't sex ed, it was about periods and puberty. Yes. Yeah. But we also learned, I thought about, I feel like I remember learning about what happened to them too. They would talk about what happened to a boy, because didn't you guys learn about periods? Girls having-- Maybe, I just remember the fucking still cartoonish picture of girls with hairy, you know, the bush type of thing, but not hair under their armpits. We had a difference going on there. Oh yeah, yeah. But that's such remedial. Isn't that crazy? But we did have hair under our armpits and we had to shave. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I know my kids, they learned sixth grade at their Catholic school, but they separated them. I did not learn about hard-ons. Like I read about them in like-- No, no, not about hard-ons. Yeah. No, no. Like I would read about a hard-on in a Judy Bloon book. So you're talking about puberty. Yeah, so they learned about puberty, but not-- They-- Just reproduction. I honestly did not, I, okay. I remember hearing about boys pitch in a tent, right? Like, and you would hear about that. And so it wasn't until I actually laid my eyes on a dick that I understood how it stood up. I thought it stuck straight out. Right, so did I. I did, did you? So did I, yeah. Oh, no way. Yeah, I didn't know it went like up towards them.

Right, so did I. I did, did you? So did I, yeah. Oh, no way. Yeah, I didn't know it went like up towards them. No. Yeah, until I was with a guy. And I'm like, oh. Oh, now this makes sense that you can have, because that was how-- That's the start of the dick pic. How are they having, how are people having sex with on top of each other? Yes. Like, how does it go in? Yeah, yeah. And then when I saw it, I was like, oh. Yes. There was a plan. Because it was all the pitching the tent, but that's morning wood, I think, right? Well, the pitching of the tent, I think is because of gravity, right? So like if you're-- Oh, yeah, when you're laying on your back, it's gonna-- No, like if you're walking around school and sweatpants, it would like go stick out, because it's falling forward. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Did you ever, did boys grow up getting worried that they were gonna all of a sudden get hard in the middle of class? Was that a big concern? Because when we would read that, it was a massive concern. Yes, yes. No, no, I think-- They didn't even care. See, they don't even care. Well, no, I think what's interesting is-- Have a picture of it. Sex Ed back then is more about, it's like human development or something, right? Because I remember them talking about wet dreams, and like you might wake up with the wood. I remember learning about wet dreams. And then, yeah. And I learned about wet dreams. You might have a sticky mess in your drawers. Why did we have to learn about wet dreams? That's what I'm saying. Like this is why I didn't wanna have boys. No, but why did we have to learn about-- Boys wet dreams? Yeah. And I don't know-- Why do I know this? I don't know if they had to learn as much about us as we had to learn about them.

No, but why did we have to learn about-- Boys wet dreams? Yeah. And I don't know-- Why do I know this? I don't know if they had to learn as much about us as we had to learn about them. You don't fucking care. Like the fallopian tubes and all that, did you learn about that? Fucking idea. He doesn't remember. He doesn't know. But I think, I have to ask-- But think about that. My kids, like, I'll ask Kya. This is all, I'm a huge believer in evolution. And we, in each generation evolves a little bit further and eventually the ball keeps going down the lane, right? But that's stupid. What we learned is completely stupid, that you're gonna have a wet dream and boys have hair under their armpits and girls don't, that kind of stupid. There's no value in it. And I think we've evolved past that because I would assume kids are learning a little more nowadays. I don't have to, I think so, but I think there is value in that they're trying to prepare you, this is what's gonna happen to your body and it's normal. I think that's fine, but you don't call it sex ed and have your parents sign a letter saying you're allowed to hear this with memory, yes, the dude. Yeah, no, I think we should automatically hear that. Yeah, it's not negotiable. But I think you should also learn about, like anyone, the abstinence thing is crazy, but I think you should learn about how you get, reproduction and getting pregnant and all that. That's what it was about. Like our, I remember our, so the sixth grade thing was in sixth grade, obviously. That was the puberty thing. Yeah, yeah. And then the separately in health class, we learned about sex. Reproduction.

Like our, I remember our, so the sixth grade thing was in sixth grade, obviously. That was the puberty thing. Yeah, yeah. And then the separately in health class, we learned about sex. Reproduction. Yeah, but it was more like, yeah, I swear to God, it was only like a day, you know, that we talked about it. And it was only reproduction, this is how you make a baby, and STDs. See, I think they should be also incorporating birth control. Oh, they did not. It was all like, our lives were 95% AIDS back then. It was, it was. It was about not getting AIDS. All AIDS all the time. No, birth control should be number one. It should be number one. Yeah, and then I think maybe once they're adults, everyone freshman year of college, or maybe your last class senior year, should learn about the clitoris. (Laughing) You cannot get your diploma unless you can identify a clitoris. And what to do to it. Oh, that's hilarious. That would make a creepy, I know, but maybe that, maybe in my second life, I'll teach that because I think that should be a thing. You said you had two topics you wanted to discuss. I do. I'll take this in a totally different direction. I'll go with the one I think is less controversial. Okay. There's a huge element of pornography that's part of women empowerment. And if you look at historically, porn was made in studios with an all male photographer, cinematic director, whatever, maybe one or two girls. And it was pretty violent, right? And it wasn't great. That's changed now though, with only fans, with couples creating their own porn, right? As easy it is to put a podcast up or social media. So there's a lot of women making a lot of money off of this now. And I don't think that's the worst thing.

So that's sort of my topic around, there is a huge evolutionary jump for women as, I don't know if you call them sex workers or not, but I don't know. Like adult content creators. Adult content creators, yeah. So I don't know if it makes sense to completely turn off the faucet. And maybe, I know you're not saying that because you're saying it's for children. Kids, yeah. But I do think there's a huge opportunity, financial freedom that's evolved from all of this. Absolutely. So what I have learned with only fans though, is like only fans is a platform that's made by a man, right? And so he's essentially getting a big cut out of all of this. And the unfortunate portion of it, it's kind of like social media in general, right? Like we were talking about social media earlier and wanting to get on social media and make money, right? The pie is not that big. And then the creators on only fans who are really making a killing are not that many, right? And so a young woman being like, I'm gonna have an OF and I'm gonna make money. Maybe she's not, maybe she's making $400 a month, you know? And then she's naked on the internet forever. Yeah, that's the problem, that is the rub. It's the social media game of you have a thousand, maybe two are gonna hit it. And there's 998 that are now forever in the annals of online porn. And then it still is exploitation of women, even if it's by their own choosing, it's that risk they're taking. Have you heard of Arikita? I don't know. I don't know if I've said her name right. I think she's a Gen Z, she's an adult content creator.

Have you heard of Arikita? I don't know. I don't know if I've said her name right. I think she's a Gen Z, she's an adult content creator. She's very successful doing it, but she is very honest about for girls or women who are thinking of doing it, she tells it like it is, like it's not all rainbows and puppies. And she also is very honest about the alterations or enhancements she's made to her face and her body to look the way she does. She talks about the awkwardness in doing the acts, both on camera and off. She'll talk about uncomfortable things about your body or things you shouldn't be ashamed of about a woman's body. So I find her to be a very empowering young woman who is an adult content creator because she's incredibly authentic and very honest, but she is very straightforward of, yes, I am successful doing this, but it's not the norm. And if you're going to go into this, you need to understand you're not just gonna be like me and I'll end up where I am. And she does talk about the realities of that. But I think, and I'm sure there's other adult content creators that are young maybe talking about it, but she's the only one I've seen that brings some reality to it. And I think more should. Yeah, I for sure think so. You have a bunch of young women that are like, oh, I'm just gonna do that. And everything's gonna work out. And it can take a very dark turn very quickly.

Yeah, I for sure think so. You have a bunch of young women that are like, oh, I'm just gonna do that. And everything's gonna work out. And it can take a very dark turn very quickly. I definitely think too that because, and we didn't talk too much about the novelty of porn and the novelty of OnlyFans or just endless scrolling, being able to see a different woman constantly. I kinda think that is where the manosphere and young men in general have gotten the idea that all women do this. Because you hear that all the time. You hear that all women are whores, all women are doing this. And it's because of the level of novelty that they're exposed to. It is a new woman all the time. So they think it's all of them. They're constantly like, look at all, this is a billion girls. And I definitely think that that doesn't help their perception of women and what women will do. But I'm 100%, like I said at the start, I am pro sex worker. I follow, do you know Blue-Eyed Kayla Jade? She's a very beautiful, blonde Australian woman who is a sex worker, like she's an escort. And she is very honest also about the guys that she encounters. But like, you'll hear it again and again when men are willing to hire sex workers, they are exposing a seedy part of themselves because they're just letting it all hang out. And there is a lot of potential abuse there and whatever. And I just think it's fascinating though, like when it comes to OnlyFans and what they want, they're like, send me your used panties, send me any fart in a jar. Why can I pay you to vomit on a table? Like these requests, talk about daddy issues. Like where did these boys get these issues from that that is what turns them on?

I know, that's a whole, that's those fetishes though, where they now have been given a tool to express those fetishes. Whereas before they had to keep that to themselves and just. Or they didn't have an outlet for it. They weren't able to. Or maybe they didn't even know about it until they were on porn. They're like, oh, I like that. You know, triggered that fetish. I think that's more accurate. You don't think of this, you don't have as many people thinking as having all these fucked up ideas without seeing it somewhere. Yeah. Or some model behavior going on. And then it triggered like, oh, that turned me on. And then they get more into it. You have to see it sometime. Not everybody's that creative and imaginative. No, exactly. Like my ex, my ex-husband, the second one, he's like, I don't know why it turns me on for you to have tears in your eyes. Because he liked those videos of girls essentially giving a blow job and choking until they had tears in their eyes. He loved it. Yeah, that's a whole, and I think you're right about when men, the content creator you were talking about, she said she probably can see the worst of men when they're paying for it, because when they pay for it, they feel entitled anyway. Oh yeah. Oh my God, if they put money towards it, they probably see the darkest, darkest part of men. I don't know how they do it. I just really don't. I would be scared all the time to expose myself to men in that way. I am not that good of an actress.

No, not too. But I've noticed online, speaking of calling women whores, I've seen so many comments when we've had guests on that talk about how they chose to divorce their husbands and for various reasons. So men, there's so many men that come in all the time saying they're just a whore. They already have a man that they're fucking. They just want half of my stuff so that they can go fuck more men. It's like they automatically think that sex is the motivation for these women. Because it's theirs. Yes. Not that she wasn't happy, was oppressed, was abused, was mentally abused, emotionally abused. It's that she wants to go fuck other men. And I'm always blown away. It's like, that is the last, she probably won't fuck another man for five years because of what she's been put through. Yeah, yeah. The fact that you automatically call her, of course I block them and delete it, but it blows my mind that that's what they think she's doing. This woman who's just getting out of an abusive situation is gonna go fuck a bunch of men. It's insane. What was your other topic? Yeah, right, I wasn't ready for that. I think I had another comment on this. Unless you had a comment on what we were talking about. I think I did. I can't remember what it was. Was it about sex workers and seeing the dark side of men? No, I mean, I find the whole thing, it's wild. It really is wild that there's a whole pay for sex industry and a whole, whether it's on video or not, I was gonna say back in the 70s and 80s, male porn actors got paid more than women. Really? Way more. Yeah, like John Holmes and Ron Jeremy and those old classic porn guys. Then it did flip. It may be like Tracy Lords. Who's the other one though? Oh, my brother loved Tracy Lords and I have met Ron Jeremy. Really?

Really? Yeah. Yeah, there's a picture of me with Ron Jeremy somewhere. Where did you meet Ron Jeremy? At this bookstore in LA. Yeah, just randomly or was it like a book signing? An adult bookstore. It wasn't, it was a bookstore. And I can't remember if he had written a book and it was a book signing and I was just out there visiting with my friends and we're like, it's Ron Jeremy. Was he nice? Yeah, yeah, gross. He was like a little short disgusting man. It's shocking. Yeah, but that was his, see, this is like, because they liked him, they called him the hedgehog, right? Like he had like a chode, his dick was a chode. What does that mean? Oh, like a big fat one, I think. Oh, okay. That's what I call a chode. Maybe I'm using it wrong. No, I've heard chode I think you're right. I think it's like a fat one. I just thought he had a big, I don't know, I never saw his dick. I just thought the thing was he had a big dick. Was it a chode? I think that was the legacy. Yeah, I don't know. But he's one of those guys who made millions as a porn actor, then it did kind of shift and the men make less money now. Do they? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, no, I think, well, because men, how do they ever make more money than women? That's crazy. The whole thing is just. Well, that makes sense. They were like, he has a family to feed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, screw you. You're just a vagina. Yeah, but my brother did love Tracy Lords. He had a Tracy Lords poster in his room that he got at Spencer. I feel like, is she still alive? I feel like I saw her on social media at some point. Yeah, she became like a regular actress. Right, that's what I thought. What was your other question? This one's controversial, potentially. Okay. And it goes back to we were talking about

Yeah, she became like a regular actress. Right, that's what I thought. What was your other question? This one's controversial, potentially. Okay. And it goes back to we were talking about boys and how it's harder. I was saying it's harder for boys. They think it is, I'm not saying it is. And there's that whole thing, and it's the kid who's on trial now for killing Charlie, him becoming a girl. And how boys have identified as females. I know what you're talking about. Because it's easier. They get lower insurance rates. They get all these, yes. You know what it's talking about, right? Look up the name. I'm the one that first told you about it. Are you saying that boys are becoming transgender to have cheaper insurance? They're not, no. You kind of misunderstood. No, it's a whole thing. Okay, so to describe it, boys that can't get laid. There's a name for that, the incels. Yes. Okay, so the incels have become so frustrated by being rejected by women and not being able to assimilate into normal society as a quote unquote man and fill that normal as they view an alpha male role. So there's a group then of men that the incels online, it's a deep online group and they mutually support each other, but they're also encouraged to lean into their feminine traits and some of them end up becoming transgender, but their motivation behind it is anti-woman because they're like, why should women get better restrooms or why should they get considerations in these different areas, whether it's car insurance, they talk about that, or health insurance, or getting a discount on shoes, whatever random thing it is, why should women get it and not us? And so they have-- What do they think we're getting? I don't know, but they think-- I want it, I want a discount on shoes.

What do they think we're getting? I don't know, but they think-- I want it, I want a discount on shoes. I know, I know, God, I wish I, oh, I, so-- It's called the incel subculture. Yeah, but there's names for-- A manosphere? No, but it's a name. Now that when you were saying this came out after Charlie, after that Charlie Kirk got assassinated, I do recall, and I follow a content creator who is trans, he talks about it a lot, about this subculture, he's super versed in it, he's not part of it. He just, he knows, like he's, I really like him, he's super versed in it. So he's a trans man. He's a trans man. Okay. And so, I don't know, he talks about the name, but so they, and then some of them do become trans and end up with boyfriends, but it's to benefit, to experience the same benefits women experience. Well, that's crazy. And it comes deep rooted from hating women because they rejected them. So it's almost like, well, you're gonna reject me, watch, I'm gonna become one of you and get all the benefits you get and then they enjoy that so much that they fully embrace being feminine. Knock it out, go for it boys. It's a whole thing, but what was your, what was your question about that group? Like, why did you bring that group up? I just feel like that could be another offshoot of the pornography mental issues that gets formed, right? Oh, so you think pornography has, plays a role with incels? Potentially. Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100%. I 100% do and in an article I wrote about this back in like 2017, I talk about the notion, because the article was called, what did I call it? Oh, it was called "Generation Porn", basically like, hey, parents incels were once kids,

and it's basically about the fact that these boys by habituating themselves to porn and seeing just how easy it is, like I said earlier, like, oh, hey, you just stay in your room, naked, jerking it a little bit and your stepsister will walk in and give you head. And every scene is like that. That's what you were saying earlier about like, back in the 70s, the porn had a story to it, whatever, and now it's just right to the deed, right to the deed. And so they think that women just show up for you like this. When you are not taught that this is a movie and this is fake and you know nothing about it and you see real women showing up for real men of all ages, of all looks, all sorts of stuff and they get, he's like, I can't wait to get mine. Where's mine? They just show up. And they don't realize like you have to be a person, you have to have a personality, you know, like any of this stuff because all they're seeing is just the show up and fuck part. Exactly. And so of course, of course they're gonna be confused when they reach 18 and nobody just knocked on the door with a pizza and blew them. Yeah, and if you, I agree. And if you have boys who maybe already have like Social issues or social anxiety or, you know, maybe they're on the spectrum and so they're just not assimilating as easily or whatever and already have maybe their game, like only game or only on the computer and have delved into this internet world. And then when they enter reality, like you're saying and think where are all the women, why aren't they here? I think that's where you can also end up in dangerous territory because of the resentment from not getting the women that you were promised. Yes. Type of stuff. Especially the type of woman also. Yes.

I think that's where you can also end up in dangerous territory because of the resentment from not getting the women that you were promised. Yes. Type of stuff. Especially the type of woman also. Yes. Like they're out here upset that women look the way they do. Yeah. Even gorgeous women. They're like, oh my God, like look at you. That's why the whole it's pink and then anything, you know, started and women are getting fake boobs and all of this stuff. It's because of expectations that have been set by porn. You know, this is what a hot woman looks like. She looks impossible. She has big giant boobs, tiny waist, no belly, no cellulite, no perfectly tan hairless. You know, the list goes on and on. Yeah, but I mean, now throw in AI women. Oh yeah. You know, and then you're being compared to AI women, but we've been battling that always. We battled that. So it's just been, I just find the whole, anything so interesting. Like this is totally news to me. Is it positive? Like are you, is it like fake boobs and an innie? Is that the goal or does it matter if it's out here in any? Oh no, it matters that it's an innie. Innie is the desirable thing. And anything else the men call roast beef and they're like disgusted by it. And that's why there is women now getting the labioplasty. And like women do do that for health reasons. If you are uncomfortable, but they're doing it for cosmetic reasons also. You know, they're bleaching their assholes. Yeah, and that's been going on for awhile. That's been going on for awhile, I think, right? Yeah, but that's from-- How do you know what your asshole looks like? Yeah, I know, because a man told you you need to get a bleach. That's funny though. Imagine you're like trying to look back in the mirror to see your newly bleached asshole.

Yeah, I know, because a man told you you need to get a bleach. That's funny though. Imagine you're like trying to look back in the mirror to see your newly bleached asshole. No, that comes from my-- That's hilarious. Show it off to people. Like, hey, check it out. That's the dick pic. Here's my asshole. There's no, but no woman is sent, yeah. No woman's gonna send that. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not-- Thankfully, I've never had a man comment on the shade of my asshole. And I am very peaceful, never knowing. Yeah, I can give a shit. You think there's women that would send a picture of their asshole? 100%, I think women are the only worst out of me. Not all, but-- Women that definitely are sending pictures of themselves. Yeah, that's true. I was just thinking there's no confidence, like the confidence of a mid-average man. Oh, no, I know. They'll look at the most beautiful woman and be like, "Yeah, she's a four." You know, and think it's just, well, that's why mid-men, when they end up with women who are more attractive than them, just spend most of their time trying to bring those women down. Or they cheat still. Yes. Because they think they're like, "Oh, I got her." Yes. "I can get another one." Yes. "Look at me, level up, level up." Yes, it's an epidemic. Yep. Did you have any other questions? No, I don't think so. Or observations. No, it's fascinating conversation. Pretty interesting. Do you think porn is ever, do you think porn is healthy in any way? Like in a relationship? I think it can be. I think if you have like, there's probably a couple of porn and maybe, you know, you can get into some fantasy shit or whatever, right? But, so I think from that perspective, I don't think it's all bad, but.

But when we're talking about kids, definitely. And the access that kids get. Yeah, I don't think it's healthy for kids. I think you hit it on the head. It fucks with their development, for sure. I definitely think that people, there is a faction of people out there who think it is good to help them explore their sexuality or explore and learn like for sex ed or whatever. And there is a faction of people who are like, oh, it's good for kids when they're learning that they're gay, you know, or whatever. And I don't fucking care. I don't need any of that. Call me whatever you wanna call me. I think that's idiotic. That's the same thing as saying, oh, it's good for kids to, you know, start drinking martinis at 10 so they can understand their tolerance level. Like nobody's doing that. So I just think the overarching thing is it's insane that we let this happen. I agree, I do agree. I 100% think that that is where we drop the ball. And it will be interesting to see if the younger generation becomes helicopter-y about technology, becomes helicopter parents when it comes to technology because of what we did. And I've never thought about that before, how we broke generational trauma and the generational cycle, but then implemented a new one and to see how they're gonna break it. Cause like I can tell you if my older son, hopefully God willing in the next few years, he may be married and have a family. And I can tell you right now, he will be the first, like, no way. I bet he's strict. Oh, he'll be so strict when it comes to technology. Did

I bet he's strict. Oh, he'll be so strict when it comes to technology. Did follow-up where you were saying how there's some people who want people think, have a martini when you're 10, so you know how to handle it, right? The problem is our educational systems are infiltrated with perverts and it's a big issue. They think kids that kindergarten or first grade can have the mental capacity to deal with some of these complex topics. It's so inappropriate. So as the gatekeepers, the protector of our children, they're failing and it's terrible actually. That's part of the problem is kids don't need to grow up so fast and they don't need to grow up so fast in school. Stick the basic shit and let them become smart and figure it out as they go. But we're not in that scenario at all. And I was gonna ask your opinion on this and we can edit it out. So you can share it, but then if you're not comfortable, is that being put it out there, I'll just take it out. But what's your opinion on elementary age children learning about transsexual relationships and gay relationships in the mode of sexual preference? Not in the mode of everyone should be able to love who they love. We should be able to, everyone should be accepted. Not that, but to get specific into sexual preference discussions. Does that make sense? Yeah, I get that. I definitely am of the opinion that obviously to talk about two men can love each other, two women can love each other is great. I'll tell you, one of my proudest moments as a parent was when the girls and I were watching, we used to love Project Runway, right? And they were very little. They were maybe like seven and eight or whatever when we would watch it all the time. And on one of the episodes,

it was the redheaded guy from Modern Family. And he was like a guest judge or something. And he did it because he was raising money for gay marriage, like to get awareness or get the bill passed or whatever was happening when Obama was president. And we were watching that episode and both Aspen and Viv were like, "Wait, what? Gay people can't get married?" They were so confused. And they're like, "Why? If they love each other, why can't they get married?" And I was so proud that they did not understand that. I was like, "Oh my God, good job on me." Like that the kids are actually upset and confused. And so I definitely think that they should, they should obviously get taught that, because plenty of kids have two moms and two dads. When it comes to though, it is so fascinating to me because when it comes to the idea that we are fully skipping over, like even bothering to tell kids that they're young women about having a clit, like we could debate whether or not we want to have that in sex ed or whatever. That's why I said 18. Yeah, yeah, but okay. But then when it comes to, and I've never seen this in practice, right? So I'm always very reticent to say, I know for sure that there's a bunch of schools that are trying to teach young kids that they might be transgender. Like it's more like I've heard stories about that. San anecdotal. Yeah, than I've ever, it's kind of like you heard the stories of people saying, "Oh, they have litter boxes in school because the kids are all furries." When that was completely not true. They had litter in schools to absorb barf like they did when we were kids with the sawdust. At least in my school it was sawdust. But anyway, I think that it might just be a tale that we're telling because we like to tell the tale that school is really bad and dangerous and full of like super scary progressive ideas. I honestly don't know how bad it is and where it is that bad. So I raised my kids in Michigan. I was in Michigan for 25 years. I know nothing like that was happening in any of the school systems. So maybe it is happening somewhere. And they're like, we need to start teaching kids in kindergarten that they might be a boy or they might be a girl. I think that's crazy work personally if that's happening. And I have no problem putting that out.

Because you're, what? Like you're learning about being a person. Like not-- Not pissing in your pants before you go home or something. You're still like having saw rockets before you can get a tissue. So I think that if that is happening, I think that's crazy work. But I definitely think that maybe when they're older, so because again, it kind of goes back to the overall premise of driving these kids to online spaces always as like, that's what they're searching for. Their only resource. Their only resource is not a great idea. That's dangerous. It is dangerous because they'll end up going down their own rabbit holes and they'll end up creating their own narrative that is maybe true for them, maybe not, maybe influenced, maybe not. And so it's the same thing with learning about sex from porn. It's just as bad. So I think if we did talk about it more openly at some point, then maybe they would have a resource of a trusted adult or like people who are able to have the conversation who aren't your parents. But I definitely think that again, going back to us being Gen X and helicoptering and over-correcting, we've kind of turned all of our public servants into big bad boogeymen that we that do not have good interests or good goals when it comes to kids and they wanna corrupt them and all of that stuff. We as Gen X have always been searching for the boogeyman because we were taught stranger danger and all of that stuff. And I remember always being super fearful as a kid, looking for the boogeyman, whether it was a stranger, whether it was a nuclear bomb that was gonna come blow us up, whether it was AIDS coming to get me. I know I was scared. I also feel like every movie that we had back then was a horror movie. And so I was scared. And I think we did transfer a lot of that fear, rightfully so to the children, but I kind of feel like we should be more scared of school shootings than we should be of these transgender chats.

Right, right, right. But I feel like those aren't happening. But I feel like kids are getting shot in school all the time. Right, right, right. But that's just my, like I said, I don't know if that's happening and where all I know is with my kids' school and their experience and all of that stuff, I didn't hear about anything like that. I think you bring up a good point. I think it would be really beneficial to society if those discussions were had and I think it would be appropriate to do it when they're learning about health and sex ed. Like why not discuss those things at that time? Because I think you should discuss homosexuality and transgenderism. Because especially by then, a lot of kids, definitely if they're leaning one way or another, up or down, whatever, probably have a pretty strong inkling about something's going on a little bit. Maybe they're not sure, but that would at least give them the space, like you said, a trusted adult to say, okay, I'm gonna talk to that teacher after, I'm gonna, because, oh, okay, this is normal enough where my teacher's talking about it. So it's not a sin, it's not something I have to keep in a dark place. I can talk about it because it's been normalized to some degree. So I think there's a balance there. I think that should be discussed and addressed and a space should be created for kids who are potentially going through that. But I also don't think it should be a kindergarten.

Oh, yeah, no, because the same thing as the discussion about porn, right? And I think that, listen, the reason why public school exists is to teach kids stuff that they're not gonna learn at home, right, because their parents don't know it or they can't, they're not capable of it and all of that stuff. So if they're learning math and English and all of this stuff, I think if we're not going to do anything to stop kids from watching porn, we at least should, as part of school, teach them that this is not real, you're going to see it. This is dangerous, these acts are potentially harmful, blah, blah, blah, because there are too many parents who are too shy or too religious or too nervous or whatever it is to have these open conversations with their kids. Or they're just in denial. Yeah, I think it's a great point. I think it's a wonderful point. I think that that should also be discussed, 100%. And then when they're 18, 19, teach them about the clip. (Laughing) I just wonder what age is appropriate? Because I totally agree with you, I just don't know that age. It feels like it's been pushed down really low. I feel like eighth grade. Yeah, maybe eighth grade. I don't know. I think 13. Yeah, maybe 13, 14, like-- 13, 14, cause I think-- Middle school-ish. But not six. Like I think the end of middle school before you're gonna go into high school, cause if a kid is thinking, hey, I might be gay or bisexual or transgender. It'd be a wonderful olive branch of support to help them identify it, normalize it, and not go kill themselves or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of stuff. And just create space, space, right? But at an appropriate time.

And as far as school shooting, I do wanna do an episode on school shootings. Cause I personally think you can trace probably almost every school shooter back to their on benzos. I just think that. I think they're on medication. No doubt. And I think that's a whole area that should be-- They've never looked into that. No, they know. Yeah. They know. Oh, yeah. I think that's a whole thing. I know, I've definitely listened to that episode cause I don't know anything about that. I think what's happened, low key shifts in medications that are going to kids, cause there's less. They knock on wood. The benzos are just fucked with the kids. And I think there's acknowledgement and they're starting to prescribe them less. I have no data. Is that like a Xanax? Benzo diaspora. But not just that, it'd be like Adderall. Oh, that's a benzo? Yeah, it's all of that. I don't know if Adderall's a benzo, but like suffer anxiety and depression. Like Xanax. Yeah, like a Xanax, but then there's like a gazillion names for them. Yeah, there's a bunch of them. But then, and I don't know if Adderall's-- There's semi-antissychotic drugs that really cause psychosis. It's crazy. So yeah, it's more, yeah, it's not the Adderall. It's not the ADHD meds. No, no, it's the more powerful-- What I'd love to do is get someone on who's researched this and just do a whole episode on it. Because, and to your point, I do think that they are making some changes. They're 100%. And that's another thing we did to our kids. Our generation. Yeah, yeah. Our generation allowed our kids to be medicated. For sure.

They're 100%. And that's another thing we did to our kids. Our generation. Yeah, yeah. Our generation allowed our kids to be medicated. For sure. That was the first, we trusted that. We didn't, personally speaking, because I just wanted to put that, if my kids are realists, they're like, "I wasn't medicated." But I think for so many parents, they trusted what the doctor was saying and just said, "Okay, well that'll fix them." And it's scary if your kid is going through depression, anxiety, or is having suicidal ideation. You're thinking, "I just wanna save my kid's life." So you're like, it's like save them, but now we know. I think the benzos are kind of going the route of opioids, right? We now know opioids are not good. They cause addiction and self-create a lot of problems. Benzos are in the same category. So I do think they're getting prescribed less or more carefully. Yeah, I really don't hear about it too much. I did have friends who were on antidepressants and stuff like that, and they're not anymore. They're off of them. And we were definitely not the medication parents either. And it's funny because of my youngest, she's like, "Mom, I clearly have ADHD." And I'm like, "Well, you didn't like cleaning your room. "You couldn't concentrate a lot. "It was fine, you were a girl, whatever. "You were just a kid." And so yeah, it didn't even occur to us to be honest. No, to be honest with you, through having some guests on one, she's a neuroscientist with ADHD from Australia.

After that episode, Brian and I were like, "You have ADHD." And then we looked at Dylan, our youngest, because he's very much like Brian and has a lot of the same tendencies. And then I thought our daughter, I think, has some of those tendencies. So I actually took him in for testing this summer. And I didn't do that with my older two because I was unaware and it did come back. He has mild ADHD. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, "Yeah, it's not crazy." But it's there. But I'm so glad I did, because now as he heads into the world, he'll have some coping skills, he'll have some self-awareness. Yeah. They all fit. Like our daughter has said the same thing. She's like, "I think I have some ADHD." And I'm like, "Oh, maybe, I don't know. Your room was messy, I don't know." Yeah, yeah, yeah. So with him, I was like, "Okay, with every kid, you'd get better." You know, he's gotten the best of us. Yeah. Yeah. What was your other topic though? Oh, so basically I just wanted to say, like when we're taking a risk by putting this conversation out there, and by risk, I mean like you and I as middle-aged women, talking shit about man's favorite thing, which is porn. Lay off our toys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We're threatening their favorite thing. Back off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, and so like there's always the typical pushbacks, like people will say like, people have always watched porn, but it, and yeah, but not this frictionless ease of access, and again, not the fucking kids, unless they could get their hands on it, and then goody for them, they got their one little playboy, and also people will say, well, you're just like having a moral panic, like back like the satanic panic or whatever, but like basically,

we're just saying that adults can do what they wanna do, and saying that children also can have access is just interrupting their development. Like it's not us being like, oh no, protect the children from fake Satanists or whatever, this really exists, like we know it, we can see it, right? And then people will say like, well, most people who use porn are fine, right? The dads are just like, oh, I just casually use it or whatever, but you're not, you're older, you're not in the midst of hijacking your development. So there's lots about people saying, well, I don't want an age verification because it'll interrupt my privacy or whatever, and I'm sorry, that's just fake. You have to, I rented a car to come here, you know who I had to give my license to, hurts. Yeah. Yeah, like we do this all the time, and we keep acting like with this particular topic, that it is somehow impossible to control, that we cannot do anything about it, and I frankly call bullshit on that, like that's just flat out bullshit. We can do a lot, we can not let them have screens, we can change them over to flip phones, like I said, Apple can make a brand new type of phone that's just for kids, and it doesn't need to be like all kitty and stupid, you know, it can still be like an adult phone, but that is what you get. And we just need to agree, we can move the family computer, you can only use the computer in the kitchen, sit at the kitchen table, and this is where you do your homework, you're not allowed it in your room. You know, like I hate to say it, we have gotten fucking lazy on this front, and it's because of our own addiction to screens, right? And we have a problem with it. We can shut off the wifi in the house at eight o'clock at night, no more wifi or anyone, even us, you know?

You know you're crossing the line. I know, I know. But listen, like do we wanna protect the kids or do we not? And sometimes that has a couple of hard choices associated with it. But I definitely think we can do stuff, and doing nothing is fucking crazy. Like the fact that Florida and Texas, granted, they had the whole religious reason for it and all of that stuff. Okay, all you woke motherfuckers out there, I'm being religious about not having kids have access to porn. And I don't care if you're in California or wherever else, if you have a little bit of a actual age gate hurdle for the kids, or I don't know, you have to show a credit card or pay money. I was like, why is it free? So I can't get over that, it's free. Like that's crazy. Yeah. And so there's a lot that we can do and we are not doing anything. I agree, and I mean, you used to have to pay for it. It's not like it was always free. You'd go to the movie store and you have to give your driver's license before you walked to that back room. It's free. I know it's free, but it wasn't always free. It wasn't free. It wasn't always free. So why not have to, at least like you said, age verification. It's very eliminated all friction. It doesn't make any sense. You have to have a subscription for HBO. But think of it this way, Facebook's free, right? And Instagram's free. Why is it free? No, because of the ads. Well, no, no, it's free, because we're the product.

But think of it this way, Facebook's free, right? And Instagram's free. Why is it free? No, because of the ads. Well, no, no, it's free, because we're the product. We are the product. They're gleaning our information, so they know who we are, they know what we're interested in, and then we get targeted with ads and all types of crazy shit, right? Do they wanna know 10-year-olds are really into anal fisting? Like what is the plot behind porn? Absolutely, so then they can bombard them with those type of ads and phishing attacks and get them to click on shit and get ad revenue and get them to sign up to watch a movie. It's the same shit, it's the playbook. Yeah, but they wanted us to get addicted to cigarettes too, so we bought more cigarettes. I mean, like we can fix stuff. And it's quite frankly crazy that we bought more. But I think at the very least, and somewhat the theme of this whole conversation is age-appropriate controls and restrictions. So I don't disagree with you in that we should have age-appropriate controls. Make it harder, at least put up some fences and obstacles and some barriers. But elimination for kids is gonna be super difficult, but it's almost like if you save one, is it worth it? Sure, why not?

But elimination for kids is gonna be super difficult, but it's almost like if you save one, is it worth it? Sure, why not? But that is also the Nirvana fallacy. The Nirvana fallacy is basically not Nirvana the band. But like, and maybe I'm not using the right word, but basically it's like if it can't be perfect, we shouldn't do anything. And people say that a lot. Well, you're not gonna block all of it. Okay, I put airbags in cars, I'm not gonna save everybody's life, but at least I'm gonna save more. And so, and we really have been leaning into that as a society. If it can't be perfect, why do anything? It's so all or nothing, right? It is so all or nothing, and that's just flat out wrong. I just listed out what, eight, nine different avenues of attack that we could come at this problem with, and we're not gonna at least do one. The only one that we're actively doing, like I mentioned, is Gail Dines and other people very much leaning heavily into education. Well, that's a little too late. That's like educating people, like on a pack of cigarettes, here's a lung that is full of cancer, here's your education. Yeah, yeah. And a little too late when you're already hooked on it. I agree, and you know what, even just trying changes the narrative in our society. Like how about just trying, we'll get people talking about it. And that's part of the shift. Right now, no one's talking about it. So even if you get roasted trying, it at least gets people talking about it. And maybe there would be a movement of like, just like there's a movement of people that only wanna feed their kids organic food and clean food and go that route and limit screen time. I mean, there's a big analog old school way of learning. We have a movement of people who believe the world is flat. Yes.

We have a movement of people who believe the world is flat. Yes. I love those people. So it's so, can't so- They cracked me up and they absolutely believe it. They do, they do. I know, I know. So if there's, so maybe it's just 10% of the kids to start, just that the parents are making that move, but that's better than nothing. And that's that whole all or nothing. Moderation has been lost in general in our society. The moderate has to come back in general. Why do you want it in two states? I'm big on that. In the thought process, when it comes to almost anything, there has to be room for moderate thinking. And this is an example of that, is you have to at least bring the conversation and you may not get 100% of what you're going for, but it will change the trajectory of where we are now. It will be part of a cultural shift and it's a seed. And then hopefully it may take time, but it'll grow into something that will help resolve some of this. I definitely think that we could, again, deploy shame as part of it. Like, for example, when our kids were young, were we allowed to put them in play pens anymore? No. No, why are you putting your kid in baby jail? You know, it's back, play pens. Are they really? Yup, yup. And they're just like gated areas. They look nice. They're all made out of wood or whatever. They're not like the old school like we had when we were babies. But yeah, so, but that is, it could be very well, just like you let your kids have a phone. What is wrong with you? Because now you can't plead ignorance. Right. Because it's out there. Correct. Right now people can be like, "I didn't know." But once it's out there, then everyone knows you're making the conscious choice. Yup. And that's where the shame at accountability. To be a shitty parent, right?

Yup. And that's where the shame at accountability. To be a shitty parent, right? Ain't nothing work better than shaming a mom for being a shitty parent. Get some, yeah, now we'll, now that's misogynist. We're gonna be misogynistic with this. Let's shame all the moms. I blame the women. No, you're right. All right, it's all the women's fault. It's all women who are in the porn. It's all women who are giving their kids the phones. Yes. We are monsters. I can't wait to see the Facebook groups of- Oh, they're just gonna take out that little snippet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. MJ hates women and blames women for everything. And she's a whore. A massive whore. She bleaches her ass. I bleach my asshole and I show everyone. Send me $5,000. I will fart in a jar and show you my asshole. (Laughing) What were you gonna say? This all just comes down to a value system. And our value system's completely fucking sideways at this point. It's a value system. It's all over the place. It's all over the place. And that comes to moderation. But think about this. But being a moderate and not going one way or another, but there has to be sanity somewhere. But we shit on cigarette smoking, but we are cool with people ingesting, inhaling fucking chemicals from China for their gas station crack and vaping, right? Vaping's accepted. How the hell is that not illegal? It blows me away that it's not illegal. It's terrible for you. It's worse. I'd rather have my kids smoking cigarettes.

It's terrible for you. It's worse. I'd rather have my kids smoking cigarettes. Same, I know. I feel the same way. That shit puts holes in your lungs. It's addictive. It's just straight up gas station crack. I have to admit, I am so low in the world of vaping. In the world of vaping, I know nothing about it. My coworker had to tell me about her brother's weed vape that he has and how it has a screen on it that shows how long you've been hitting it. I was like, I know nothing about vape culture. Well, that's different. I don't care about vaping weed. The chemicals, the gas station. It's just chemical shit that, like he said, is made in China. It's just a bunch of chemicals and they're saying it's to replace smoking. But at least with a cigarette, you know what's in there pretty much. But it's not, I always tell-- On the spectrum of what's natural versus not, smoking's, you got weed. I think I'm a fan. I'm good, whatever. Go for it. You've got cigarettes, then you've got the juice. It's just vape juice. It's chemicals. It's flavored chemicals. I think it has some nicotine in it. Something addictive, probably worse than nicotine. Very addictive, but then it has a whole bunch of other shit. So it's so bad for you. What do they call it? Popcorn lungs? Gives you popcorn lungs. It's a whole thing. I'm learning so much. I was thinking about it though, just when you're saying all this, I cannot tell you the last time I physically went inside a gas station. Yeah, right. So if that's where they sell it. Convenience stores, 7-Eleven. Smoke shops. Never ever. Do you guys have smoke shops in Rhode Island? Yes. Okay, so there's one that I drive by that's called iVape. There you go. There's the pot. Do you know more than you think? Is weed legal up there? Yes. In Rhode Island?

Yes. Okay, so there's one that I drive by that's called iVape. There you go. There's the pot. Do you know more than you think? Is weed legal up there? Yes. In Rhode Island? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, is it legal here? Not recreational. Medicinal. Oh no, it's recreational. Yeah. There is so much, and we didn't even bring that up. That is also part of young men's problems, currently. Obviously, is the fact that we have made weed legal. I am fine with weed being legal, but whatever. But the fact that we just unleashed that, and we're like, also go for it. Yeah. Like everybody just be high now, I think is so crazy. Because everybody's just high now. Like I, when I take the train to Boston, and then two days a week, and then obviously I drive around in Rhode Island, and it's legal in both places. People aren't smoking weed on the train, but they are smoking it on the walk to, and the walk out. I will drive through, I don't know how the weed is getting in my car. But it's like, I'm driving through weed smoke, and I can smell it in my car. Yeah, like people are, I guess, doing it in the car next to me, or whatever. And listen, I am all for it. I actually, when I had, this is kind of funny story, it's just because I'm obnoxious. But when I got Lyme disease, back in 2012, I was living in Michigan, and I could get my weed card. Weed was just legal for medicinal reasons. And I got it, even though I don't smoke weed, it makes me so paranoid. Like when I can't eat it, I can't do anything, anywhere near it. But it was just me being like, yeah, fuck the man. I'm gonna buy weed for all my friends. (Laughing) It was my illegal weed. And I went through all the paperwork and everything just to do it, just so that. Cause I'm like, you can't tell me what to do. But now, all these kids, a lot of the kids have weed pens. And you know, and--

And now isn't that age restricted though? Like even when it's legal? Is it 18? Is it 21? I don't know. Probably 21-ish. I don't know, to be honest. I'm blown away, cause I grew up in New Jersey, and we would be freaking out, cause we had weed in our car, and we're worried about the police, cause they'd really bust you. It was amazing. We'd go up to, we were in Jersey a couple of years ago, and there's weed shops. And it's like, man. I would smoke, when I was living in Colorado, I was smoking weed every day. Because it was like the good weed. You know, it was like nice and mellow. Back then I didn't know what calories were. So I was like smoking weed and eating onions and drinking regular coke. That was like my mix. Wow. Those were good times. But you're right about the whole, you've got weed games, video games, and porn. Why are you leaving your house? Especially if your mom's making you food and bringing it to you. Yup, and you're gambling, and whatever. 100%. Boys, they don't have good governors. They don't have, like a girl, I will say, I feel like it's just more common. Because women have to work so hard at anything. And we just go through a lot physically with our bodies and all of this stuff. And I just think that they are like more, I can't, I feel gross. You know, like I can't lay around all day playing video games and smoking weed. I gotta get up, I gotta move around. You know, like whatever. Some girls obviously do, but I think boys are just like, I don't know, maybe it is just that those Dopa receptors. It must have been different. It has to. Because you're right. There's not, that's not a girl thing. No. No. But girls are natural multitaskers. And just, I think we can't just do that. We can, but then the next day we're not doing it again. Right.

No. But girls are natural multitaskers. And just, I think we can't just do that. We can, but then the next day we're not doing it again. Right. Like we could be like, today I'm gonna chill. Today I'm bed rotting. And then you won't do it again for like a month. Yeah. You know, like, that's a big moment. Like if I'm down, like doing that, like, I'm not doing that. Maybe that might be Mother's Day. But also there's some Gen X stuff out there. Like I saw this, there's these weird little cartoons. Have you seen them? They're like, they explain Gen X women, or they, you know, Gen X kids experience. I'll find it and send it to you. The one about Gen X women, I'm like, oh my God. I didn't realize like, this is me a hundred percent. I didn't realize it was all of us. It's like how we can't stop. It's how we are the natural, like, it's like almost like first born daughter type of behaviors but we're the ones who at work end up doing everything because we only trust ourselves and we take charge of everything. And we are the ones who just get it done, get it done all the time. And I didn't realize, I thought that was just my personality. I didn't realize it was endemic in all of us that Gen X women are just getting it done. And that's why, to keep bringing it back to the original conversation, that's why I'm so mad at us, you know, that we failed this hard, that we were, granted we were ignorant. We were largely ignorant. We were in the weeds raising our kids and we rightfully so didn't think that porn would just be free for kids to see because our entire lives, we stopped it. Not we, but society had rules about it. So why would we think that they were looking at it? But then we started to know, you know, I think we started to realize and whatever and didn't, we're not doing the job that women do.

No, you're right. We didn't, because even when I found out my older son was watching it, it's not like I took his phone away from him. You know what I mean? Because he needed to be able to connect with his friends and it was all the things you said before. It's your fault. But I mean, the other moms I talked to, they didn't either. We were all just like, oh my God. And we were, we know that we were scared and we talked to him about it, but we didn't stop the access. It was just fingers crossed. It was. Well, this doesn't fuck them up too hard. It was. And some boys have gotten fucked up to a major degree and some were able to self-regulate better, you know, because I do think that some boys are like, you know, eh, this is kind of gross. That was him, like he went through it and then he was like, I'd rather just be, yeah, he doesn't even have social media. I think he has an Instagram, but he's barely on it. So he's just like, I wanna be in real life. Yeah, I definitely think that that's interesting because my daughters and their friends and whatever, they were, they are not on social media. They they're like, I know this is bad for me. So I'm not doing it. And they always, you know, we're trying to be out with their friends. They're trying to go out on dates. I wanna go hang out at so and so's house and all of that stuff. But there is obviously the big faction of Gen Z that are opposite. No, 100%. And again, we didn't discuss this, but I do wonder how much COVID had an impact. And I think it depends on what state you were in for how long you were locked down. Because like Florida, it kind of was like two months. And then Oregon, where I'm from was like three years. Yeah, that's so crazy.

Yeah, that's so crazy. So you have, or maybe someone from Oregon is gonna come in and be like, ah, am I been to, yeah. They still have it. I can say I'm from Portland. I can say whatever I want. But they were locked down long enough to affect the mental health of children. That's my point. I agree. I think that in Michigan, it was so funny to me because Michigan was locked down, but not as loose as Florida, but also not like the coasts at all. And the fact that they went after Gretchen Whitmer and were freaking out about being locked down and all, it was hardly, because that summer, I remember I took, the kids and I went to Rhode Island to visit and we were in Newport and Rhode Island was still so locked down, you couldn't. There's a trail called the Cliff Walk in Newport, Rhode Island. And you had to have a mask on. I like to walk the trail. I'm like, I'm not walking outside in 90 degree weather with a mask on. Why are you idiots? But there was a lot of confusion and I'm certain that those students were really messed up by it. And Aspen did, they did have their prom. Oh, that's good. And they did have graduation. Good. But that was, I lose track of the years. Because what was happening when? Kai is 25 and so in 2019, she graduated from high school. Oh, so they had nothing. No, no, she got it. Oh, she did and then it was 2020. And then it was locked down. So when she went to college. She went to FSU after that. She went to FSU after that. The first semester, they were online classes, but they were all still out at the bars. It's Tallahassee. We went up there for parents, we couldn't. We went up there for parents. Crammed in like sardines. Summer of 2020, our youngest was doing travel, he did travel across forever.

It's Tallahassee. We went up there for parents, we couldn't. We went up there for parents. Crammed in like sardines. Summer of 2020, our youngest was doing travel, he did travel across forever. We're in different states. Like South Carolina was pretty open. But then once you got more North and it was like that, we forgot and then we'd get some more like. We got to Pennsylvania thinking we'd go to breakfast at the courtyard and they're like, oh no. It's locked down. Yeah, it was funny. Because we went out, it was St. Patrick's Day 2020 and we all went out and that was like the last time we went out. But my friends and family on the East Coast, they're like, what were you doing? They're like, ah. And I was like, wait, it was open. You know, it was St. Patrick's Day, we were all out. And then we were locked down right after that. But it only, the full lockdown, a couple of months. Michigan's a free-spirited state. Yeah, yeah. You know, I can't, and it's an outdoorsy state. Mad, like the level. And so I always work with China, like all of my suppliers are in China and my business partner, he was living in China at the time with his wife and they got trapped there. But the all rules in China, I'm like, you guys were so mad here in the United States. Like he had to get, if he left his building, he had to get tested. If anybody came back positive, they were put in like a concentration area. Like it was so hardcore. And I'm just like, you know what guys, like calm down. You know, like so much outrage. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and when you're really experiencing it, it's not nearly as bad as what's being portrayed for all things with the media. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, anything. Oh, I know. Anything I watch, I'm like, on both sides. I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna take it down 50% of what you're saying. Either way. It's the biggest fight I get in with my family, especially my mom, because she loves to tell me about what's happening in other cities. You know, like when I was working in downtown Detroit, all during Black Lives Matter stuff and all of that stuff.

And they would tell me, my family would tell me, you know, about the riots. I'm like, I'm here. You want me to film? Like I'm in Detroit currently. Or like, you know, cause you know, I have to travel constantly for work. And I'm in San Francisco, I'm in Denver, I'm in all these places. And they're like, oh, all the homeless, you know, and be safe, you must be so scared. I'm like, nothing, let me show you again. Oh, I have been on the road for the past 20 years of my life. And the worst thing I ever saw was some homeless guy did take a shit on the street. Like I did see that happen in front of me. Oh, and I saw another homeless person like trying to build a little fire, like out of just some paper in LA. And I'm alone in all these places. And I'm like, guys, I think where the news is showing you that's all they show is let's say it's that one. Cause I know in Portland, cause I have family there and, and the things that they would say about Portland existed, but then there's all these other areas where it doesn't exist. Yeah, it was just in Portland. You have to like go to that area, to that thing, but you can go here and not see it. I walked the entire city. It's gotten better. I know that they've improved it. Last year or the year before. It has one of the nicest airports. Yeah, it's beautiful. So that's that carpet. The carpet's if you're Portland or you should do it next time. All Portlanders know you take a picture of your shoes with the carpet. Really?

Really? Yeah, it's a thing. It's like that greenish. Yeah, it's been the same carpet since I was born. Not the same, but they replace it. But yeah, it's a tradition. You take a picture of your shoes with the carpet underneath. Listen, I grew up in Portland and it was beautiful and amazing. And I think they are trying to get things. It did get out of control. Like my family stopped going. There were things that if you grew up there, you're like, oh my God. But I think it's taking time. Yeah, the same thing happened in Providence, Rhode Island. Like it got really scary there for a little while. But I think honestly with the news, and this is why media literacy is so important. I think they kind of like replay the same videos over and over again. It's kind of like when they show like fat people walking down the street and cut their heads off. It's like that type of B-roll. Like B-roll. Yeah, and that's what they're showing all the time. And it's just like it takes people like my mom and just sends her into the stratosphere and really riles her up and it's unhealthy. And it affects mental health on both sides. Both sides of mental health starts getting, because my aunt and uncle would only watch MSNBC and nothing else. And that's like if you're watching Fox News and nothing else, like you can get totally stressed out in these green polarizing. It's polarizing. And it's like, no, no, no, you got to unplug. It's all-- It's all curated, rage. Well, when I would go to the gym before, like, because I put a gym in my house, but when I would go to the gym, I would specifically like go and watch Fox and CNN right side by side and see both things. And they're just pumping out fear in two different directions. It's exhausting.

And I agree with you. I do think it's like, get people hooked, get them scared, get them watching, all of that stuff. Everything is about addicting everybody. Yeah, and if you go out into your life, you don't encounter any of the things that are discussed. No, I know, that's why I keep trying to tell my family all the time, I'm like, I'm fine. And you're out there. I am literally here. Boots on the ground. Boots on the ground, everyone's like, if you smile, they're friendly people, they smile, they're friendly back. So we got way off topic, but this has been awesome. I think we covered, did we cover it all? I think we did. I think so. I mean, is it another five hour? Oh my God, it is quarter till nine. I believe it. Oh my God. We did take a brief break. I have been here, yeah. Yeah, okay, well, let's wrap it up and then we can have a drink. But to listeners, I'm sure there's some people who have some comments and thoughts on this episode and we welcome them and definitely, we would love some discussion about this and some back and forth. So don't feel hesitant about sharing your opinions on this topic because I think the more we all discuss it and bring it to light and normalize the discussion around this, that will be the shift hopefully. Hopefully. In society, that's it, we need to start talking about this. Let's just start there, let's just start. We're starting it. So we broke a generation and I'm sorry. Yeah. (Laughs) Exactly, so we're now trying to bring whatever we did here by ignoring it, we're not gonna ignore it any longer. And so in a way, this is a call to Gen X to continue this conversation too. Oh, for sure. And to continue in their homes. So again, thank you MJ for coming back on. You're welcome. And we love seeing you in person.

Oh, for sure. And to continue in their homes. So again, thank you MJ for coming back on. You're welcome. And we love seeing you in person. Oh, I love being here in person. This is so much fun. It's the best, it's awesome. And hopefully we'll have you back on again to talk about something else. Oh yeah, we'll see. So, well, this will hopefully MJ will be a recurring guest on the podcast, but thank you for listening. And again, we'd love to hear from you and we will put some links that MJ brought in the show notes as well, if you wanna delve into this topic further and we will see you next time, bye.