Episode 11 - GenZ Women Series: Kaya, Ashlin & Vanessa

[Music] Welcome to GenX Adulting. This is the first segment in our Gen Z women's series. And today we have with us Kaya and Ashlyn and Vanessa to share their Gen Z experience so far in life. They're in their 20s, so they've had some decent life so far, some lifetime experiences. So I think what I'd like to start with is how did Vanessa and Ashlyn, how did you two meet? So we randomly met on a Facebook page to room together in college. Oh cool. So it was completely random? Completely random. Well we did, I think you had a post of pictures of yourself and you write a little thing. A little blurb. And then I think I commented on it or something. That's how. Both of our roommates had canceled on us, so we were like last minute like the last two. Like, it was just us left. And so did you guys already know you had like stuff in common or had you shared anything about yourselves before you met for the first time or was it completely going in blind? I think we started like Snapchatting and stuff. Yeah, a little bit. And we used to DM. Ashlyn still has the messages. If we go back and look at the DMs, it's like we sent like four things to each other and then I was like, so should we room together? Like we really didn't know much at all. Wow. And how wonderful it worked out because it's a lifelong friendship, right? So and then your first year, did you live with anyone else or was it just the two of you? Just the two of us. And that was in the dorms? Yeah. And then for your sophomore year, where did you guys, you moved to an apartment? No. Anyone in Tallahassee, the nine. And then did you live just the two of you or did you live with people then? There was four of us, actually. OK. And then did they continue to live

No. Anyone in Tallahassee, the nine. And then did you live just the two of you or did you live with people then? There was four of us, actually. OK. And then did they continue to live with you the rest of that whole year? Did anyone move out? We spent a year with the first like our initial group. Yeah. And then one of them had left and that's when Kaya came in. Right. OK. Yeah. So then enters Kaya. So that would have been both of your junior year, right? Yes. And what year was that sophomore year? OK. Yeah. And then how did you get connected with Ashlyn and Vanessa? So I transferred from University of Florida in Jacksonville to FSU in Tallahassee. Right. And I had been wanting to go to FSU for a really long time. And the day I found out I got accepted, I called our mutual friend, Isla. And told her I got accepted. And she said, oh, I think I have a place for you to live. Like immediately on the phone. That's amazing. And I was like, oh, no way. And she said, do you remember Ashlyn from high school? Because Ashlyn and I went to high school together. And I was like, oh, yeah, we had math class together. I love her. Yeah. I think my junior year, your senior year. We sat next to each other. Yeah. We sat next to each other. And it was like lab tables, too. Yeah. So it was just like desks. Like we shared a lab table. Was that with Mr. Miller? Yeah. Love him. Yeah. Shout out to Mr. Miller. And then I was like, oh, my God. Oh, I love Ashlyn. Like I would be so down because I honestly thought I was going to live alone. Like transferring. I found out so late and it was like during COVID too. So I kind of was like, I don't even care. Like all move to Tallahassee and live alone. Like I just want to go to FSU. I want to get there. Right.

was like during COVID too. So I kind of was like, I don't even care. Like all move to Tallahassee and live alone. Like I just want to go to FSU. I want to get there. Right. And then it worked out like, I mean, I didn't even have to think about it because Isla gave me the answer right away. Right. Because one of their roommates was moving out. So I also happened to know. And then it just kind of worked out. And then we got connected and then we FaceTime. Yeah. We got there. And I remember like getting off the FaceTime and was like, oh, my God. We like we really connect. Did you guys feel the same way? Yeah, we did. I was definitely nervous at first. Just because they knew. I knew Kaya from school. Right. But then, yeah, once we did the FaceTime and then Kaya and I clicked immediately. And yeah, I was the last Kaya moved in and like I was the only one that like knew her kind of and I was like the last one to come move in. So I felt so bad. Kaya was like, I wasn't there to like mediate it all, but they hit it off. Yeah. It worked out. And so this would have been fall of 2020. Right. Or no, 2020. Yeah. Fall of 2020. So this would have been right in the middle of COVID. Yeah. So how would you guys say? Fall of 2019? No, it was 2020. Oh, yeah. So how would you guys say COVID altered your college experience? Well, in the beginning when we would go out to go to the bars, like they, they, you couldn't really go like they had a capacity. So this one bar pots, like you would normally be standing up at, but they like put tables in the whole place and it was kind of weird. Like they had to like reserve a table to go drink at this bar that you would normally be standing at and not a sit down bar at all. So then they probably had to

place and it was kind of weird. Like they had to like reserve a table to go drink at this bar that you would normally be standing at and not a sit down bar at all. So then they probably had to significantly reduce the amount of. Beautiful service spot. Yeah. And a lot of places weren't open like that first, those first few weeks. Like there really wasn't like a silly week, a syllabus week. Okay. Okay. Everyone goes out. Yeah. No one has like homework or anything. So, um, so that's the social aspect of it. What about, what about academically? Did it alter? I'm you couldn't go to class, right? Yeah. No one could go to class. Everything was online. I kind of liked that they made like a lot more online classes after. Yeah. So I was so better at that. So I was like great with that. Right. So probably for kids to prefer online, that was one benefit of going through COVID. And then you were in a sorority, right? Yeah. When you ended that affects your sorority life. Um, well, yeah, like I, since I transferred over, I just stayed in the sorority that I was in that I got into at UNF. Um, and then I, it was hard cause I feel like I didn't really get to know everyone super well because it was all online. So normally when you would be in the house hanging out with all the girls, that wasn't happening. Like you would just go and get your food and then leave. Yeah. So I like missed out on that aspect of it. Yeah. But like everyone I met was super nice. Just, I didn't get to like make those connections. I bet that happened to a lot of girls. If you think about it, probably across the country that, you know, transferred in or even started a sorority and couldn't really get to know anybody. Yeah. I think even the rush was like online.

If you think about it, probably across the country that, you know, transferred in or even started a sorority and couldn't really get to know anybody. Yeah. I think even the rush was like online. Yeah. So they didn't have that, that experience. So that's cool. Okay. So I have a question about girlhood. So as a gen X or, um, we didn't really have girlhood, I would say. I mean, we had, we had our friends, we had our good friends, we had our best friends. Um, but I feel like Gen Z has a very strong sense of girlhood. I feel like, and you can correct me if I'm wrong. The perception is, is you guys are very supportive of each other, not just even friends, but just other girls in general. Um, there isn't a lot of jealousy competition instantly, where when I grew up in the eighties, we were kind of raised to always be in competition with each other. But I feel like your generation is very much paving the way of women supporting women. That's at least from the outside, looking in the sense that I get, is that accurate? I think, yeah, I would say so. Yeah. I feel like we are like super supportive until maybe there's a reason not to be in a sense. Like always giving the benefit of the doubt or like, yeah, like always giving the benefit of the doubt. But then if someone's like, you know, right. So if somebody crosses a boundary, so if somebody crosses a boundary, do you guys have any issue calling them out on it? Like, do you feel that you're an assertive generation or more of a hesitant generation on that? Like your experiences with other girls? I would say personally, I'm hesitant, but I think that's just a personality trait. I can go both ways. Yeah. I think I'm more hesitant, but if something was really like I could say something.

but I think that's just a personality trait. I can go both ways. Yeah. I think I'm more hesitant, but if something was really like I could say something. Right. So overall though, do you feel, okay, so when you guys go to a bar and you see like you're around a bunch of girls, is your initial vibe to be in competition with them or is it more like, oh my gosh, they're so cute or I love her dress or I love her shoes or is it automatically like, like you're kind of, I don't know, I don't know how to describe it, but when I was growing up, it was on like you were in competition with everybody. So you walked in and you were just like, okay, like who's going to get the guys who's going to get more attention? Are you guys like that? Or are you more, is it more just kind of everyone's supporting everybody? I guess on a superficial level, not on a deep level. Yeah. I feel like I always look at everyone's outfit first, honestly. Yeah. Like, and I'm like, oh, that's cute. Okay. Or I'm like, that's, I wouldn't wear that in my mind, to be honest. But if we're talking about another group of girls, I feel like most of us are always like, oh my God, look at her outfit. She's so pretty. She's so pretty. Like we would never amongst each other be like, look at that outfit. Like we're always saying nice things. Yeah, no. In my mind. I would be like, okay, I wouldn't wear it. But so I don't think your generation is as catty. I don't think so. I don't think you guys are as catty as Gen X was. Gen X was, we just were. And again, we, we were close with our friends, but it was almost like that was our group. And then that's the other group. You know what I mean? It was very much a division. Yeah. So, and I loved what I was going to, my

friends, but it was almost like that was our group. And then that's the other group. You know what I mean? It was very much a division. Yeah. So, and I loved what I was going to, my point was is I love that about your generation. I've loved watching it. I think together as you guys are going to accomplish so much because you naturally have that support, that support of each other. Even if it isn't, even if it's superficial, even if it's just when you're out and about, you just kind of all know that you are there for each other. Like if you were in a restaurant or somewhere and something happened to a girl, you would help without, you know, without it. You're just like in it together. I feel that vibe off of, off of you guys. Yeah. I feel like we're our generations like hyper aware of like that. I don't know. Men are weird or people are weird. So like if we were out and saw something weird, we would, you know, make sure that she's okay. I mean, even we did that with that one girl. Yeah. Like our first night of senior year, she was like stranded. Oh, I remember this stranded and like waving us down in the car. We were a little bit scared up. Yeah. We were nervous. But then we turned back around and we picked her up. Her phone was dead. She was a freshman. Yeah. And we ended up bringing her back to our apartment and charging her phone, which we were both super scared about because you just never know. And we felt very timid, but we were seniors at the time and she was by herself. Yeah. We thought about the Intella house. You can never read. Like the bars were closed. Right. Bars were closing. She was completely alone. So we were like, okay, we have to go back. Yeah. That's two AM. So yeah, I was like, nothing good can happen to her.

Right. Bars were closing. She was completely alone. So we were like, okay, we have to go back. Yeah. That's two AM. So yeah, I was like, nothing good can happen to her. No, that's right. She didn't have her. Her phone was dead. Right. So we just put her in the back. That was our first night in our apartment. Actually. Wow. Our first guest. We said you're our first guest. We never saw her again. I had her location on snap maps, but I would see her on there, but we never saw her again. That was our first guest. That was your first guest senior year was saving a freshman. Yeah. Yeah. That's good though. That's good because it is dangerous. Well, actually, you know, that does lead me to a question. During your college years, did you encounter situations yourselves where you felt you could be taken advantage of, or you were in a threatening situation with the opposite sex or you were suspicious of the young men you were around? I would say we were lucky me particular, like me, I would say I haven't been. In a situation like that. Luckily enough, but I feel like we were always together. Yeah. And even if we were alone, like we had guy friends that we could trust, like I never felt like I was, but we were smart also where we wouldn't be in situations or walking home alone or anything like that. Yeah. And most of the time to one, if one of us was staying in, we would always, you know, offer to drive, come pick up or anything like that. Yeah. And you guys share each other's locations too. Yeah. So that's a big benefit of social media, I would say. Yeah. Is that you can share each other's locations and keep an eye on each other. 1000%. So that's good. I mean, I think that you hear these horror stories, especially of young women

Yeah. Is that you can share each other's locations and keep an eye on each other. 1000%. So that's good. I mean, I think that you hear these horror stories, especially of young women and what happens to them at college and where you guys went to school is a huge college. Yeah. So the chances of something happening. But again, I think like you said, groups, that's the key to never be alone. Never walk alone. Like that girl that you guys saved, like she was alone. So thank goodness. So we saved a couple of people. Yeah. That's good. We're just always accountable for each other. Even like now, like when we go out around where we live, it's no different just because we still are accountable for each other. Yeah. We'll share the Ubers with each other to see and to track each other. We don't really like anyone like riding alone. No. Like if we're all going out, we'll like drop someone off or we'll like, we'll figure it out. Yeah. Or you'll stay on the phone with someone. Yeah. You hear horror stories. So it's, it's, it's especially with the Uber, all of that. So I think again, your generation is so aware. You're just so much more aware of stuff. And I don't know if that's because of social media or just, I know Gen X parents are typically helicoptery a little bit. So maybe it's because of that. I'm not sure what it is. But like for us, we would go out in a field and get drunk and pass out. And our parents thought we were spending the night somewhere and didn't know any different. Like no one was tracking us. Right. So we did the craziest things. And one benefit for us not having social media is we were able to do all those crazy things, but it was very dangerous and things happened to people because of that, which

And one benefit for us not having social media is we were able to do all those crazy things, but it was very dangerous and things happened to people because of that, which I think our generation probably took a lot more risks because no one, we weren't accountable. Yeah. We were just like, uh, Farrell. That makes sense. Just out and about. Yeah. And Farrell at times. No, I'm sure you guys have not that you don't do wild stuff. It's just no, someone could track you, you know? Yeah. Like if you, and I guess for us too, um, no one could film us doing anything. That's right. Like you could totally be turned into a meme or like a public viral video at any chance. And it's freaky. Yeah. It could be on end up on Tik TOK. Yeah. Like anywhere that does that make you guys hesitate? Like I know when we would go to, um, bars, we dance. I don't know if you've ever seen the videos on social media, uh, Gen X was dancing, but we dance because no one was filming us. No one was watching us. So everyone just dance literally. Like no one's watching you. And I've heard, and I don't know if this is accurate, but that the younger generations don't totally dance because they're nervous. They're going to get filmed. Is that true? I don't think I, I still dance. Yeah. For other people, maybe, but not like I feel like we dance. Okay. So you guys don't care. No, like we did. The next day I'll be scared. Yeah. Like, oh my God. Good. Okay. In the moment. Oh my God. This is so fun. And I feel like we had a really good group where like everyone would dance. So I never felt like weird about it. Or that anyone's going to be filming you or. Well, if somebody was filming, I'd probably care. Yeah. Stop maybe. Yeah. I don't know if that's ever happened to

Or that anyone's going to be filming you or. Well, if somebody was filming, I'd probably care. Yeah. Stop maybe. Yeah. I don't know if that's ever happened to me where I was like dancing and then someone started like filming me. Like not a random person. It was one of my friends maybe, but then I was like aware they were filming me. Because we danced good. Yeah. Exactly. So do you think the risk of getting filmed and posted is more if you're doing something negative or bad than if you're having fun? Like if you were being a Karen or if you were being rude to someone or if you were, I don't know, doing something hyper embarrassing, I guess, but I don't know what that how you would define that. You know, I mean, there are like videos of people that are like out at the Tallahassee bars and like making out. And I would never want a video of me doing anything like that. Yeah. But like, again, I feel like we don't like do that. Like, I don't know if that would happen. Yeah. But that does happen. Like where people are like doing stuff like that. And I always when I see it, I'm like, oh my God, they probably are freaking out. And I feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Like I think our generation honestly feels bad. Because the internet can be really mean. Yeah. Like nice at times. Yes. But I feel like majority, at least people I know, like when we see videos like that, it's like, oh my God, like is it their friends doing it? No, it's random people. Or I mean, with guys, I don't know. Guys are different. Like I feel like some guys would just film their friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that. To like end up on like parcel or something. Yeah. That makes sense. I mean, I guess again, we didn't have to worry about anything.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that. To like end up on like parcel or something. Yeah. That makes sense. I mean, I guess again, we didn't have to worry about anything. I'm so grateful for that. We didn't even have anything to post on. So even when I was 14, 15, 16, all my random thoughts didn't go anywhere on the internet. But then for you guys, right, you have places, not necessarily you personally, but your generation, if you're mad about something, people might post like a meme about it or like say something and then it's there on the internet. So I know like our generation is very much like, thank God the internet wasn't around because it's forever. So I know for the for the social media generations, do you feel that that's there's so many positives? What's your aspect on social media? Like, do you guys view it positively or negatively? Or what are the pros and cons in your opinion? I personally like TikTok a lot in like a positive way. Yeah. Like, I feel like my for you page is built for me. Like what I'm seeing is what I want to see, especially with like reading like books and everything. You can really feel the community on there. Instagram, I'm not as into as much like post like once a month. But I'd say TikTok is more my thing and I'm it's more positive. Would you say Instagram is kind of fading away? I think that I really use Instagram. Yeah. Like younger kids use like just TikTok and they'll do like photo dumps on TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So even the younger kids aren't using Instagram really? I feel like I don't need more. So is Instagram kind of going the way of Facebook? I was saying so. Yeah. But in like a weird way, like I feel people that are really using Instagram are influencers

I feel like I don't need more. So is Instagram kind of going the way of Facebook? I was saying so. Yeah. But in like a weird way, like I feel people that are really using Instagram are influencers that are doing brand deals. Yeah. Or so stuff like that. It's very specific. Yeah. Or I would say it's just repeated content that the creators are posting on TikTok already. Yeah. Multi-platform. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like our age group and our like friend, everyone we know now will still use Instagram over than doing the TikTok dumps. But I think it's becoming like not cool. Like we're old or whatever. Yeah. Instagram. But we're still going to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you guys post that much. Yeah. I'm more into the stories. Yeah. I'll do an Instagram story. But then you guys don't do Facebook at all, right? No. Unless you need to. Well, you have for work, right? But like I'll turn the feature on sometimes like you can do, you can post on Instagram and Facebook. Like sometimes that's on. I don't even realize it's on. Right. And then I'm posting on Facebook. But then you probably have. It's an update to the fam. Family. Right. And then I guess Snapchat is the other one. Yeah. Do you guys still snap? Yeah. Group chats. Yeah. Our group chats always going. But is it as prominent in your life as it was, say five years ago, Snapchat? No. No. And that's something that like they give you the flashbacks of my God five years ago. And that's when I'm like, oh my God, I cannot believe I was like filming. Like this. And even with like Snapchat stories, like I feel like none of us post Snapchat stories anymore. I get embarrassed if I post one. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God. That is so funny.

Like this. And even with like Snapchat stories, like I feel like none of us post Snapchat stories anymore. I get embarrassed if I post one. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God. That is so funny. I only post on like a private, private story. Yeah. And it's like even then I'll post it and then I think about it and delete it. So I'm just like, what was I doing? Yeah. So it's mainly TikTok and texting then. Yeah. Yeah. For your for around your age. I just say you guys are in your early to mid 20s. So I think maybe the difference there is like like when we get together, like if we're feeling funny, like we'll make TikToks, but TikTok is more like for you to take in content. Yeah. Whereas Instagram, I feel like you're not really taking in any content. Like you're just you're either posting or like other people are posting. Right. Or Instagram is for the people that don't have TikTok. So they spend hours on reels, but it's just the same thing as TikTok. They're like six months behind. They're like, did you see this? I'm like, yeah, six months ago. I said, yes, I'm I say that too. So I should disclose Kaya is my daughter. I was about to say, I say that to your dad constantly. He'll go to show me something. And I'll say, yeah, I saw that last month on TikTok. And Nathan does that too. Yeah. My older son, Nathan, her brother, he's not on TikTok and he'll think he discovered something. And now we've already seen it. Yeah. So now that you guys are out of school, what is your perspective about entering the workforce in your 20s? What have what has been your experiences? Your challenges? Is it what you expected? Who wants to go first? Kaya. Kaya, go first. OK, I got my job. I've been working at it a little over a year now.

Your challenges? Is it what you expected? Who wants to go first? Kaya. Kaya, go first. OK, I got my job. I've been working at it a little over a year now. I started working like very quickly after graduation. Yeah. But yeah, I like it a lot. I'm full time every day, 8.30 to 5. But I stay after a lot. And I've learned a lot of stuff. I'm a marketing coordinator at my company and I went in with like zero experience besides maybe like knowing social media and stuff. And I've learned a ton. So that's one thing that I really like about it. What would you say has surprised you about working or the work life? Like now that you've been in the work life that so many people participate in as adults? At first it threw me off for sure. I was really tired all the time. And just like figuring out like your routine is very tough. But now I've like gotten it down. Like I know like I just know like what I need to do during the week to like feel sane. So do you find that you have to be more regimented during the week, more strict with your schedule in order to? Yeah, definitely. To what was something that you had? What is something you have to be strict about in order to maintain? Is it your self care? Is it like if you didn't do it, you would ignore it if you weren't dedicated to it outside of work? Probably the gym. Okay. I just go right after work. Right. Because if I don't go right after work, I'm not working out. Right. So then Monday through Friday, are you pretty much on the same schedule? Yeah. Are you finding that you're super social on the weekends or are you using that time just to recharge to get ready for your work week? It depends. I feel like the past few weekends have been very social, but then I go in waves where

on the weekends or are you using that time just to recharge to get ready for your work week? It depends. I feel like the past few weekends have been very social, but then I go in waves where like they're recharge weekends. Now I'm volunteering on Sundays. So like Sundays I have something always, but I've been pretty social recently, actually. Yeah. So it ebbs and flows. Yes. So Ashton, what about you? I wasn't entering the workforce. So I've been on like quite the career journey. I've started. There was I wanted to be a cosmetic injector and then I ended up getting a job at like a cosmetic office, ended up hating that. So I switched to marketing and then I was working in marketing for a while. But now I want to do speech pathology. So I'm still in school. Oh, that's great. I've had quite the like indecisive change my path like 10 times. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what your 20s are for. Yeah. I always see videos and stuff on TikTok and like just try everything. So I feel like I've done good at trying different things. Yes. Your 20s are when you figure stuff out. And it's kind of fun. Yeah. I have like a bunch of funny stories about like random jobs and side quests that are really random. That's great though. Yeah. What made you decide you want to do speech pathology? My older sister's friend does it and she's always like talked about it with me or whatever. So it's always been in the back of my head a little bit. Yeah. And I think just like kids like I hated kids for a while, but I started to like them now and like they're just like it's just like they're just like innocent little kids. Yeah. It's like being around adults can be like, I don't know, I feel like it would just be more fun to like be interacting with kids and stuff.

they're just like innocent little kids. Yeah. It's like being around adults can be like, I don't know, I feel like it would just be more fun to like be interacting with kids and stuff. And like actually like, I don't know, it would just be meaningful because I'll still remember like my teachers from even elementary school and it's like cute. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. No, I mean, definitely this is when you go for it. Yeah. You have nothing, you don't have a husband, you don't have kids. Yeah. So you should just like try everything until you find something. So all right, Vanessa, where are you at since graduating? Well, I've just recently graduated. Yeah, I just recently graduated. So I've been also kind of trying to figure out what exactly I want to do because my major was not something I was super, super interested in. So I guess I'm kind of looking for marketing positions because I feel I'm more creative than I'm not a very, you know, type A person. Right. So something more creative is definitely more appealing to me. And I think I've also realized I don't really want to work for like a big corporate company because I don't know, I feel like just important, very serious people are very intimidating to me. So I just want to be in an environment where I feel comfortable. So I think like I just applied for a job that it's a bunch of like FSU alumni and it's all like girls and like something like that is exactly what I'm looking for. Yeah, that's great. Fingers crossed. Yeah, yeah. That's definitely you'll have to keep us posted on that. But it all makes sense. I mean, even like Kai, you were saying you're in your job now, but things can change over the next few years. Like for all of you girls, especially without being committed to

I mean, even like Kai, you were saying you're in your job now, but things can change over the next few years. Like for all of you girls, especially without being committed to a person or a family, you can, you know, the sky's the limit with trying different things. Do you find that most of your peers have gotten jobs easily or has it been challenging? Like how is the job search out there? Would you say it's hard for your age to get a job right now? I would say it's a, I don't think we know anyone that's like really had a hard time with it, but I could see how it's more challenging now. Like there's so even every application I'm doing, I see how many people have applied for it. It's like 200 people per application. Oh, wow. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes sense. Are you working with a lot of kids your age or adults range? I should say they recently hired a lot of people that are more in their 20s. But when I first started, it wasn't really like that. So they're hiring. That's good. Yeah. Like they're hiring people in their 20s. Yeah. So that's good. But I would even say like people that are older and hiring people, they always like sometimes they have this idea that like a degree doesn't matter. Like you don't need to go to college, but then when you're actually applying, it matters. Like they care about it. So I feel that there's sometimes like things with maybe your guys's generation where it's like, oh, like you don't need to go to college. Like it's all going to be fine. Like you don't have to have a degree. But then when you're actually applying, like you do need to have something on there. I think nowadays having a degree is not even that impressive anymore. Like even it's hard to even find an entry

But then when you're actually applying, like you do need to have something on there. I think nowadays having a degree is not even that impressive anymore. Like even it's hard to even find an entry level position that's not asking for two years of experience. And so that's the hard part coming out of college is well, I don't really have any experience in the field yet. So it's hard to get a job where they're willing to train you. So they're looking for experience and the degree is just a, you have to have the degree. They're just assuming you have a degree, skipping past that and wanting to know how much experience do you have? That's what you're saying. Yeah. No, that makes sense. That's hard. That's interesting that you've, your perspective is that people from our generation say that I've never, I haven't, you know, I mean, we've always felt, you know, you should get a college degree, but are there people our age that kind of put that, give that vibe? Really? 1000%. Especially because it's like, Oh, what's his face dropped out of college and he's, I don't know, like what? Microsoft or some shit. Oh, Bill Gates. Oh, I just watched that thing about the movie about him. I don't know if I've seen, I've seen like the social network. What's it called? Oh yeah. That's the Mark Zuckerberg. That's the Facebook one. Yeah. Yeah. He went, he went, he went, he went. He dropped out of Harvard. Yeah, I think. Okay. So they'll be like, Oh, they made this in their garage or like this person like dropped out of high school and look how successful they are. Like, but then it's like, right. So they'll preach all that. And then when you actually go to interview or apply, like it almost is like, they just assume that you have it. Yeah.

successful they are. Like, but then it's like, right. So they'll preach all that. And then when you actually go to interview or apply, like it almost is like, they just assume that you have it. Yeah. And then you also need like two to three years of experience. And I feel like a lot of jobs will say like two to three years of experience, but then like they'll hire you. It's just like a weird way to vet it out. Like they'll put two to three years of experience, but I feel like they'll still hire you. Yeah. I've noticed that too. Yeah. So you feel like they're kind of seeing how bad do you want it? Will you come in and just try to sell yourself in a way? Yeah. Or yeah. I don't know. It's, it's interesting. Would you say that the Gen Z perspective of Gen X is that that, that we're like, Oh, just go and do something crazy and you'll, you'll become a millionaire. Like you don't have to go to school. Is that kind of a general assumption about our generation that we're just like, just, just go out there and who cares if you have a degree or is it just those few stories about Zuckerberg and Gates? I wouldn't say like a generalization of that, but I will say I feel that sometimes like your generation gets not pissed, but maybe envious to not even knowing they're envious that like we actually like set boundaries and like speak up for ourselves and we'll be like, Oh, like I prefer this, like setting boundaries in the workplace or just setting boundaries in life and like not tolerating stuff. I feel like sometimes like I see on TikTok, like people that are older will think that we're just like not cut out for things or like we're acting kind of entitled when really I think we're a lot smarter at times because it's like, why would I do something I don't

we're just like not cut out for things or like we're acting kind of entitled when really I think we're a lot smarter at times because it's like, why would I do something I don't want to do? Right. Like nobody's like going to force me to do it. Right. Like I feel like we have more like a sense of self. Yeah. And we would care more about like liking our job and being happy with it. I feel like rather than just like, well, it's work. You're not going to like it. Like we want to like it. Yeah. It's like that. We're like, we don't want to. I think it's like I've been seeing videos of the difference of like living to work or working to live. Yeah. So you'd say your generation is more trying to find a better work life balance and find more fulfillment in your jobs than older generations probably. I think yeah, it's more about like finding something you're passionate about or like you can find purpose in rather than just like having a job. So much time. Yeah. Like most of your life is going to go to working. So you might as well do something. You actually know. No, no, it's very true. And it's very admirable if you guys are able to attain that. It's, that's what, it's amazing if you can do that for sure. I would say that's certainly not something that our generation was even was even discussed with us and we were never even taught to consider that. It was more, you know, you go to college and you get a job and you're really looking for a job that makes money that you can make as much money as you can. And then you just kind of keep working, working, working and making money. So it is, that is new with your generation is to look for that meaning in your job. So now do you feel most of your peers feel that way too? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

So it is, that is new with your generation is to look for that meaning in your job. So now do you feel most of your peers feel that way too? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. 1000%. Yeah. That's cool. And the men too, not just the women. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's almost kind of like breaking like, I don't know, this could sound so serious, like the system, like not following it completely. Right. Like you guys are kind of being rebels a little bit with me. I don't know. That's a Gen X term, by the way. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's just like our generation will get labeled as like lazy and stuff, but really, I feel like we're just taking our time to make these decisions early on in our twenties so that we don't wake up and we're like 30 or like 40 or something. And we're like, what the hell have I been doing these past few years of my life? Like, why am I doing this? Like I think it's like we're maybe at a people can like say we're lazy and stuff, but like I think we're more just like figuring out like, what do I want to do? Right? And I can enjoy it. What's going to make me happy every day? You're giving yourself that time. I do feel that, and I've covered this in one of our podcasts, that I feel that especially people are not viewing their twenties as they're, you're just living until you get married. Like you're doing what you need to do till you get married. But I feel like the women in your generation are viewing their twenties as their self-care decade, their decade to focus on themselves, their decade to do what they want to do and truly living it and not using it as a placeholder until you get married. Would you say that's accurate? That that's how you guys view your twenties? Yeah. I feel like, yeah. That's great.

truly living it and not using it as a placeholder until you get married. Would you say that's accurate? That that's how you guys view your twenties? Yeah. I feel like, yeah. That's great. Travel. Yeah. The no, because I feel like, I don't know, I feel like you guys might feel like this too, but like the whole idea of just waiting to like get married and have kids, like responsibilities are kind of scary. Like I don't want them to, and I'm not, I'm not counting down the days at all. And I also feel like since it's kind of unrealistic these days that you can get married and then like sooner. Like being able to like actually like have like a house and like start a family. Like I feel like that's happening a lot later for people because of money and stuff. So it does give us the time a little bit more to focus on ourselves rather than chasing. Yeah. Well, and the economy doesn't, to your point, the economy right now is not helping your generation or the older sect of your generation and the younger millennials. It's just, it's hard to buy a house right now. It's just all of that. So, okay. So that, that's a good segue into dating. How is it out there for your generation? So we didn't have dating apps obviously, because we didn't have the internet. But I know you guys use that, like not use it, but it's, it's normal. It's not frowned upon, right? To just go on and scroll and see what's out there. Is that kind of normal for? I think it is normal, but I, I haven't really done. I had it for like a, one of them for like a week and it just wasn't for me. There's nothing out there. I've never met up with anyone. No one. I just don't like the idea of meeting up with a stranger. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Okay.

There's nothing out there. I've never met up with anyone. No one. I just don't like the idea of meeting up with a stranger. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Okay. Do you know people that do use them though and find success? Yeah. Okay. So you would say some, some women in your generation, they enjoy it and then others, not so much. So are you guys more old school where you want to meet someone organically? Yeah. Would you say? And how is the, is it hard to meet guys right now? Yes. Yeah. I'm taking. Shout out Josh. Wait, yes, shout out Josh. I should have said that ahead of time. Ashlyn has a boyfriend. So she's not on the dating apps. And they're so cute. Yes. And you've been together how long? Almost three years in December. Wow. I know. That's crazy. That went by really fast. Yeah. But you met him in college, right? Yeah. Through a mutual friend. Yeah. And that's a great organic way to meet someone. Yeah. So that's great. That's still working out. So, and he doesn't have any friends for your friends. There are friends. Everyone's friends, right? So, well, okay. So for Kaya and Vanessa, what, what is it you're looking for in a guy? Like what would be the five top things that you would, if you could name five things that you would be looking for. He's the high Lord of the night. Is that from the book? He's a fairy. All I know about that is from both Tom, a hairy stuff. Okay. A top five. And it doesn't have to be physical. It could be anything. Have you guys ever thought about that? Yeah, I have. But I'll let you go first. Hard. I would say funny for sure, because I don't want to have like a boring partner. Funny is very important. And. I don't know. But we can go. I'm not shy. Is there an age range?

Hard. I would say funny for sure, because I don't want to have like a boring partner. Funny is very important. And. I don't know. But we can go. I'm not shy. Is there an age range? I would say not older than. No, like not older than like 30. I like love the like 27 to 30. Yeah. Yeah. It depends. Like if he's 31, but he's great, you're not going to be like, no. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Well, let's put this. What gives you guys the ick? Oh my God. It's going to be easier to answer. Like if they're too full of themselves. I don't like and I don't like. I've dealt with this before. Of them putting you down, like just finding little things to pick on you about. Like I really don't like that. Yeah. No, that's crazy. If they don't think you're funny, like honestly leave. Like that makes me not like that. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else or what's cringy? Or is that the same thing? Yeah, it's like I think there's a little bit of a difference. It can be so situational too. Like you could get it out of nowhere for something normal. Yeah. No, actually you could really like someone and then they do something. And it's like, oh my God. Whoa. Yeah. And then it cuts everything off for people listening that don't know what the ick is. Can one of you explain? How would you explain what the ick is? It's just when you're like, ew, like, why is he doing that? Like a shiver. Yeah. It's fine. It's like, I don't like him anymore. And it turns you off. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then there's like somewhere. I feel like if you really love the person, it could be like, oh my God, that like kind of is an ick, but like you should just like love them. You look past it. If you love someone, the ick doesn't exist in my opinion.

person, it could be like, oh my God, that like kind of is an ick, but like you should just like love them. You look past it. If you love someone, the ick doesn't exist in my opinion. Oh, that's, that's, that's good. Yeah. That's actually good. Or if it's an ick, it's, it's fleeting. Yeah. But it's funny. I guess that's a part of them. It's like, yeah, that's how you'll know if it's the person. That's my top five. I just want them to love me. How I am. I was thinking about the whole time. It's like, as long as they just like me for who I am and don't want to touch me, that's it. Yeah. No, that's. And that's it. That's it. That's the secret right there. You guys just nailed it right there. That is the secret to all of it. I feel like so many guys in our generation like have this idea of like the girl they're supposed to be with or like. Just like an image. And I feel like that's where like social media might have like ruined dating because you're supposed to like look a certain way or act a certain way or like even like unfortunately clout sometimes. Is clout still a thing? Not like after college, but I feel like there's definitely people in college that are like, oh, I'm so facey. And it's like, yeah, it's true. But I think social media on the dating aspect maybe has like ruined some things. Yeah, I could see that, especially because so many people use filters or alter their pictures too. So yeah, what they're putting out there and what guys think they want or can acquire maybe isn't even reality. Yeah, I think about it. So it's hard. I feel like it's hard to be like a genuine person and like actually be like genuinely like trying to look for the person that you not spend the rest of your life with. Like, honestly, I look at it as like I'm

genuine person and like actually be like genuinely like trying to look for the person that you not spend the rest of your life with. Like, honestly, I look at it as like I'm not even dating to marry. I'm just dating for like someone who's going to just like respect and love me like whatever. If it works out, it works out. But then there are people like Ashlyn and Josh who are both very genuine and they found each other. And I feel like they're like two puzzle pieces that just like ended up together. Like I've never seen anything more perfect. I'm obsessed. So like it's weird because it feels like it's like almost hopeless at times. But then there's like those relationships in your life where it's like, oh, wait, like it worked out for them. Yeah. Yeah. Like they somehow found each other. Yeah. So do you feel that the guys, the young men in your generation are looking for a down to earth? Like our Ashlyn and Josh, the exception or do you think there are other Josh's out there that are looking for a relationship? They're looking for a more down to earth situation. Or do you think that they're still kind of just getting with girls and don't really care? Are they still in that mindset? Or do you think they've evolved? I don't know. I guess that would be a question for them. I don't know the answer. Yeah, I don't know. But from what you say, you can't tell from. OK, so when you think about dating, if someone were to ask you on a date, what's your idea about and this again would be for this and Kaya. Sorry, Ashlyn. No, it's OK. What's your idea about who should pay? Oh, I still think they should. Yeah, especially on the first one. For the first date. Yeah, the first date. And then so then do you think if it's working out and you guys

Oh, I still think they should. Yeah, especially on the first one. For the first date. Yeah, the first date. And then so then do you think if it's working out and you guys are continuing to see each other then it maybe gets some more like I'll grab this one. You grab that one. I think once you're dating, like if you make it official, then of course, like a little back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. For now, are there girls and I'm not talking about girls that you personally know necessarily, but are there girls in your generation that are just trying to go on dates to get free meals? Do you think that our gold degree or do you think that they're truly most most girls are just out there trying to meet someone? Oh, well, I was going to say no, but then I thought about it. There are some people that there's definitely there are definitely especially you got to keep in mind, we live so close to Miami. I was just like, that's what changed it for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Like we've been there and like I feel like seeing things. So like, OK. Yeah. So there's definitely an aspect of women in their 20s that are just trying out there getting the free stuff. They're on the dating meal plan. It depends what kind of the date meal plan. The dating meal plan. I love that. That's awesome. What are you going to say, Vanessa? I think it depends on the guys they're going on the dates with. Like they're not going out with these. Yeah. Like you said, they're not going out with them because they're looking for something. Yeah. Right. So you think the guys kind of know the deal, too? Yeah, for sure. OK. It's almost like a transactional thing. Yeah. OK. So no, that makes sense. They're both in it for something. They're in it for something.

kind of know the deal, too? Yeah, for sure. OK. It's almost like a transactional thing. Yeah. OK. So no, that makes sense. They're both in it for something. They're in it for something. They're in it for something. No, that makes sense. Yeah. So it's those two worlds of girls like you guys that are actually dating for some sort of maybe relationship or something meaningful. And then the girls that are out kind of having a party. Yeah. And do you think there's an obvious it's obvious who's who? I would say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you say the men though the young men in your generation are respectful of women in the firing order? Oh, Oh, no. That was a long next. I think some are some are. But not in general. And I feel like it might kind of be at the point where it's like in our mid 20s. It's like maybe the guys that are like not too respectful, like maybe that's just them and it's not a young thing. Yeah. Maybe. Okay. No. So you mean these guys may grow up and be in their thirties and forties and be the same person? Yeah. Because I feel like the growing is what's happening now is when they're supposed to. Yeah. Yeah. They're twenties. I mean, typically by the time they're 30, you kind of know who they are. Yeah. The frontal lobe doesn't close to your 27, 26, 26, 26. I think it's the same for men. Yeah. So, and that, that is a shift. So that's funny though. Um, okay. So would you say your generation prioritizes self care more than other generations? Yeah. Yeah. The women in your generation. I think like, yes. Well, I was going to say, I think yes, but like in the way of like in like female friendships, like I feel like that's like a form of self care that like our

I think like, yes. Well, I was going to say, I think yes, but like in the way of like in like female friendships, like I feel like that's like a form of self care that like our generations does a really good job of definitely really, I don't know, nurture each other. You're very supportive of each other. Yeah. Right. What were you going to say? I was going to say men too, kind of, I feel like it's very, um, in now for men to be, you know, going to the gym, not drinking, working really hard, like reading self care books, stuff like that. So that's interesting. That's quality. That's quality life, right? Quality living that. And that brings me to another question. Is your, there is a, there was a study that just came out. Your generation is drinking less. Did you know that? I believe it. Yeah. I believe it too. Yeah. Have you, do you know friends that are not drinking as much? Yes. I think even us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't drink as much as we definitely not. Yeah. I think that, I don't know what it is if it's that your generation has just gotten more educated on, um, how it affects your health and the negative aspects of alcohol. But I think you're the first generation in your twenties to start cutting down on alcohol use. It's very interesting, but I didn't know if you actually know people like that or besides yourselves. No, we know a lot. Yeah. That's really interesting and young men too. Yeah. Not just the women. Wow. And so as far as self care, do you feel that you're, and you touched on this also, do you feel that your generation has no problem with boundaries, setting boundaries for yourself and with others? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think so. And do you encounter that with other friends too? Like,

problem with boundaries, setting boundaries for yourself and with others? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think so. And do you encounter that with other friends too? Like, actually wait, it kind of goes both ways. Like, okay. Setting boundaries and what's that? Yeah. Meaning, um, you have boundaries for yourself of what you will accept from others and if they cross it, then you keep them as at a certain place in your life, meaning you have your standards of the people that you want around you, the energy you want around you, the vibes you want around you, whatever. And, um, if somebody is continually crossing those boundaries, even if you've communicated to them, I'm not comfortable with this or I don't want to do this. Um, are you, do you have a problem kind of not cutting them out of your life, but setting them further away from you, protecting your peace? Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. I feel like I do a good job of that to be honest. And do you feel you, I just like, not even like cutting people off, but just maneuvering, right. The situation a certain way. And I feel like we know each other all really well. So we know like not to bring up something. If like the other doesn't bring it up, like we shouldn't cry. We all know each other pretty well. Right. Yeah. But even with like, um, not outside people, I don't mean necessarily you guys, but with both like outside people, I don't really, I feel like I'm, you're still learning that skill. Yeah. I don't know. Cause I feel like I'm just a really non-confrontational person. So maybe I'll take a step back, but I don't know if I have vocalized it to the other person. It's hard. It's hard to do that, you know, and usually, um, when I was your age, I didn't even, wasn't even aware of it.

but I don't know if I have vocalized it to the other person. It's hard. It's hard to do that, you know, and usually, um, when I was your age, I didn't even, wasn't even aware of it. So the fact that you guys are even aware of these things, self-care boundaries, all of it, you're already so far ahead. You know, we were just kind of like going through blindly and everything. Um, also I feel like your generation, uh, really seems to acknowledge mental health and respect it is, would you say that's accurate? Yeah. Yeah. And that there's no, um, stigma to talk about it. Yeah. And then you guys can all talk openly about it. Yeah. It's actually chasing. Yeah. With each other. Yeah. You're a good support system. 1000%. Like, yeah, especially like these two, they know like some of my, craziest thoughts I've ever had. That's wonderful. Again, our generation, like we shared stuff, but mental health was, you didn't bring that up. That was like looked down upon, uh, for our generation. So I think it's very liberating. Yeah. You know, for you guys. So, but I do feel your generation is known to have anxiety and our generation had anxiety, but it was not named and it wasn't acknowledged and no one talked about it and I know millennials have anxiety, but I feel like your generation is very comfortable saying you have anxiety and being okay with that. No one's judging you. Yeah. Would you say that's accurate? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like we'll say it like a lot to each other. We'll just be like, I'm having anxiety. Yeah. And it's common anything. And we're just like, same. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. You say it out loud. Yeah. I haven't been in a situation where I need to tell like someone else like other than you too, like I'm feeling

And we're just like, same. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. You say it out loud. Yeah. I haven't been in a situation where I need to tell like someone else like other than you too, like I'm feeling anxious or something. I don't know how it would be reciprocated in that kind of environment. But yeah, it's like, just take a step aside with your girl and it's a little pep talk. Yeah. Yeah. Is you know what they're feeling? Yeah. It feels so much better when you tell someone too, because they're like, no, I am too. And you're like, okay. Yeah. And if they're not, then you, then, then you're the one that's leading the talk. And it's like, we're going to go out there. I'm this organized. Yeah. Do you, do you think there's a reason? Do you, do you think your generation has more anxiety than previous generations? Or do you think you're just more vocal about it? Or do you feel that something has gone on with your generation to cause more anxiety? I don't know. I haven't thought about that. That's a good question. Yeah. Cause you guys have a shared childhood experience, even if you guys didn't grow in the same town, country, state, there's common commonalities among generations. Right. And then in Gen Z there's older Gen Z's like Nathan, you guys are right in the middle and then like Dylan's a Gen Z, right? So all, all those groups have very different experiences, but it seems at least with the Gen Z's in their late teens through twenties, you guys are very comfortable talking about your anxiety, even to your point, talking to an employer I've seen on social media where people are very comfortable telling their employer, I can't come in today. I have anxiety or I'm having an issue today. I'm anxiety. So yeah, I'm wondering, is it because you

people are very comfortable telling their employer, I can't come in today. I have anxiety or I'm having an issue today. I'm anxiety. So yeah, I'm wondering, is it because you had certain experiences, maybe the other generations did it, or do you just feel that it, your generation is because you're more comfortable talking about it? Oh, I think it goes both ways in a sense. I feel like maybe it's a domino effect from like people that raised you guys and then the people that raised them, like it just keeps going. Yeah, I forgot the name and then whoever comes before that, I have no idea. The silent generation. But like, I just feel like maybe there's been like these things with the older generations of, I don't know, like to act tough or like they try to act like they don't give a fuck about anything. Where I feel like our generation like does, you know, we show that we give a fuck. Like we actually care about things. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We like want to be a safe space for, it makes me comfortable when I know people around me are comfortable. It gives me almost like anxiety if I feel that someone might be feeling uneasy about something. Like I want everyone to feel comfortable. Oh, that's really interesting. And I don't think that's just me. I think that's like a generation thing. Like that's like common. So your generation wants everyone to be okay. Yeah. And feel like safe. And then like my generation may be viewed as we don't give a fuck. It's okay. It's okay. I think more tough in a way. And not very like soft. Yeah. No, no, we're not. Genesis is not known for that. We're like soft. No, yeah, we were. We're the generation that, you know, was running and drinking out of garden hoses and not getting fed.

Yeah. No, no, we're not. Genesis is not known for that. We're like soft. No, yeah, we were. We're the generation that, you know, was running and drinking out of garden hoses and not getting fed. So yes, it's a different perspective. But so would you say you guys definitely more embrace wanting a soft life? Like when you get married and have children, do you foresee wanting to carve out time to have a soft life? I've seen a lot of that, the soft life where you're not always rushing, always grinding. Where you have that time just to be. And your generation will make that a priority more than other generations have. I think a little bit of both. Like I think. Hard question. I definitely want a soft life. Like when I come home from work, it needs to be soft. Yeah, sure. Especially when with kids, like I don't want to be chaotic. Like, yeah, I would rather relax with them. Yeah, but I feel like we say that and then like none of us have kids. So like, yeah, we don't know. We don't even know what the hell is going to happen. How do you, well, that brings up, we just had a video we put up about this, but so how do you envision marriage as far as shared responsibilities? If you're both working, how do you guys, if you were going to have a conversation with your future mate before you got married? I know. I know it's weird. How would you know the word mate? Okay. Your future partner, partner, partner with your future partner. What would be your expectations of that man in your life as far as shared responsibilities? Would you know how to communicate that? It depends on if they're, if they're able to like listen. So I feel like I would struggle because like I feel like I would be comfortable sharing what I want, but I think I don't know what I want.

It depends on if they're, if they're able to like listen. So I feel like I would struggle because like I feel like I would be comfortable sharing what I want, but I think I don't know what I want. Like, yeah, yeah. Okay. But I feel like I'd be okay. Like standing up for what I wanted to do, but I just have no idea if I, what I expect out of it yet. Okay. I agree. All I know is that I want to be the one to make the decision. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I kind of want to be like, okay, well, we're both working or I'm working from kids. Right. Well, that is an important, I will say that's an important conversation to have before I get married. I don't know what I want. Yeah. Ashley's a little bit closer to that. Honestly, I don't even really think about that because I don't have to worry about it. You're more focused on my career. No, that's fine. I want them to know. But I will, my advice to you girls would be when you do meet that person and if you're, you're figuring out what you want, but if you're both working, definitely talk about the domestic responsibilities because that ends up being quite a strain if both of you are working, especially. So something I know you think, oh, this is never going to happen, but all of a sudden you're going to be there in life. So remember this conversation because that's, it's important before, before you go in. But I know, do you know anyone that's even close to getting married? Yeah. Someone we know just got engaged. Really? And are they in their early twenties? They've been dating for a few years. Okay. Mostly like my older sister's friends. They're getting married. A lot of people from Jacksonville. Yeah. Two people, two of my friends from where I lived in Boston, engaged.

Okay. Mostly like my older sister's friends. They're getting married. A lot of people from Jacksonville. Yeah. Two people, two of my friends from where I lived in Boston, engaged. And they're all in their twenties. Yeah. They're, they're our age. Okay. So, so people your age are getting married. There are kids that are getting young adults that are getting married young. So your generation wouldn't necessarily be saying they're waiting. It's just somewhere and somewhere. Yeah. Okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were all waiting. I feel like more people are waiting with our generation. But there are still. It's definitely a slim view that are getting engaged. Okay. And I feel like they've been dating for a really long time, but like some years are like high school sweethearts. Okay. So it's kind of like, they're closing the deal. What's the next, like they got to get married at this point. Yeah. So what would you say your biggest challenge so far in your twenties has been each of you? I think like being okay with like not having everything figured out yet has been hardest for me. Like I'm like kind of hard on myself. Like I want my set job now and stuff, but I'm not going to have that for a couple of years. Like I think just being okay and embracing not knowing what I'm doing. Right. Trusting the process. Yeah. Has been like the hardest part, I think for me. Yeah. I have mine now, but I agree. I completely agree with Ashland. And then also I think it's been hard for me after college, not having my safety net available within five minutes, you know, like not having my roommates and the people that are closest to me, like I have my parents, but it's not the same once you've lived with

available within five minutes, you know, like not having my roommates and the people that are closest to me, like I have my parents, but it's not the same once you've lived with your best friends for years and having that available to you of just like, I don't want to be alone right now. Like let's throw on a movie or just like laugh for a couple of seconds, hook something together. Like that can really help with your mental health and just like, it makes life worth living. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That's beautiful. Yeah. So I'm excited to move close to you guys soon. Yeah. Are you moving closer? Well, I'm looking for jobs. Right. So once you get that figured out, yeah, yeah, that'll be nice. That'll make a big difference for you. And it's definitely really motivating too. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. This is why you plan like I have girls night out with my girlfriends and this is also why you plan girls weekends because life gets going right. And then, but you still need that quality time with your girls. So as you get older, you make it a priority and you plan, you have to plan, plan, plan, because it isn't like college anymore where you can just walk out of your door. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. What have you, Kai? What's been the most challenging thing in your twenties so far? Um, hmm. I feel like mine is similar to both of theirs. Like I want to figure out what I'm doing with my life and career. And I feel like I need to have it all figured out right now. Like I feel like when I look at my twenties, I don't have as much time. Like I have time, but in my brain, I'm like, oh my God, like I don't have any time. I got to figure it out. But I feel like a big thing in my twenties and like my

Like I have time, but in my brain, I'm like, oh my God, like I don't have any time. I got to figure it out. But I feel like a big thing in my twenties and like my young adult life is like a difficult thing was kind of like my mental health and like figuring that out. I feel like I went through a lot of hurdles and like I had these girls right beside me helping me out and like help make sense of it. Because I don't really think I like knew what my mental health situation was honestly before I like lived with you guys and like could make sense of it. So that's definitely been like one of the more difficult parts of my twenties is like prioritizing my happiness and like just navigating that. That's huge. And understanding it. That's huge. I mean, there's people that go to my age and still don't figure that out or haven't resolved that. So I would say your way ahead. All of you are to you're very self-aware. You're very self-aware women in general. But I think the generation in general is very self-aware. But you know, just just to even be able to answer that question with those answers is you're already way ahead of the game. As someone who's older, you know, and you are still so young. I know it's scary, right? Every year that your twenties goes by, you feel like, oh my gosh, like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing or I need to do it quicker. I need to know. But trusting the process is so important. You are still very young. So so I was going to ask you, I want to ask you, are there three television shows from when you were little that you all three think you watched even though you didn't grow up together? Oh, yeah, definitely. OK, so what would be what would be the first one that's for sure all three? Hannah Montana.

little that you all three think you watched even though you didn't grow up together? Oh, yeah, definitely. OK, so what would be what would be the first one that's for sure all three? Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana for sure. Like Wizards. Wizards of Barring. Yeah. Sweet, sweet lives. Dr. Toney. Hear that generation. What about movies? Three movies that you know for sure. The three of you saw. I get to generational thing. The Princess Diaries. Oh, yeah, with Anne Hathaway. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Like Ellen Chantin. Ellen Chantin. She's like Ollie Anne Hathaway. Yeah. Even like Lizzie McGuire. Lizzie McGuire. Yeah. OK. And what about three toys? Oh, toys would probably be harder. Bratz. Yeah. Bratz. Littlest Petchops. Yes. Littlest Petchops. Holly Pocket. Yes. There you go. Yeah. And it's so true. That's so accurate. I and I even think of Little Little. Like I think did you all three watch Wonder Pets? No. Oh, I didn't watch. I did. I did. So what about when you're Little Littles or one that you think? Teletubbies. I don't even know if I watched like. I watched the Teletubbies. True. Oh, yeah. The Wiggles. The Wiggles. Yeah. The Wiggles. The Wiggles. Actually, Vanessa, would you share your background a little bit? Yeah, I can. Can you? Because it's very interesting. I should have. I should have asked you that at the beginning. It's a long one. But so both of my parents are European. My mom grew up in the Swiss countryside. You know, they grew all their food, all their vegetables and fruit, had a farm, cows, goats, chickens. That's so cool. Wow. And then my dad, he is his parents are Spanish. His dad's Spanish. His mom is, I mean, his mom's Spanish, his dad's Italian. But they, it's so complicated. They met in Ethiopia and got married

Wow. And then my dad, he is his parents are Spanish. His dad's Spanish. His mom is, I mean, his mom's Spanish, his dad's Italian. But they, it's so complicated. They met in Ethiopia and got married there because my grandpa was a doctor. So then they met there and then they moved to Switzerland. And then so my dad lived in Switzerland for a little bit and then they moved to Canada. And so my dad grew up most of his life in Canada. OK. And then they moved back to Switzerland. And then my dad went to a university in Canada and moved back to Switzerland. And that's when him and my mom worked for the same company and they met in Geneva. And that's why we speak French at home because my dad spoke English mostly in Spanish and Italian. And then my mom only spoke German, but they both spoke French. OK, wow. Wow. And then how did you guys end up here? And then so they were working for a while in the same company. And then my dad got a job offer to move to New Jersey, actually. And so they got married and my mom already had my oldest sister. So OK. But then they moved to New Jersey after they got married. And then after I think only not long in New Jersey, only like a year or two. And Karen was born. And then they moved to Paris. Wow. And then they were only there for a little bit too. And then they moved to Memphis and that's when I was born. And then we lived there for four years and then we moved to Boston or the South Shore of Boston. So we lived in a town called Dr. Bury and we lived there, I think, for five years. And then we moved to Switzerland. Oh, my gosh. We've been all over. Yeah. So I went to an international school there, which was a really amazing experience because all of my friends were in the same exact boat as me. So yeah, yeah, everybody

We've been all over. Yeah. So I went to an international school there, which was a really amazing experience because all of my friends were in the same exact boat as me. So yeah, yeah, everybody had moved their whole life. Everybody was from all over the world. Super welcoming community. What ages was that when you were there? So I moved there beginning of fifth grade. OK. And then we were there until we moved to Jacksonville, my freshman year of high school. OK. And that's when you came to Florida. So how would you say your upbringing? When do you notice the differences? Because I'm sure it's very nuanced. But I'm sure you pick up on little differences between your childhood or how you view things and American kids. So when do you notice that the most? I would say, well, my school in particular in Switzerland was just very such a blend of culture that it was a little bit of a culture shock moving to Jacksonville because everyone was related and has known each other since they were born. Right. So I don't have a childhood friend or anything like that. And that's something I'm a little bit envious of with people from here, like even Voca High. I could probably name like over 100 kids from Voca High just from knowing them. Right. Right. So I definitely would say that is the biggest difference I sense. But culturally, I don't know. It's very different. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel that-- was it a challenge to assimilate? That was probably the biggest move. Yeah. And it took us a really long time. And I would say academically the most because we are-- it's just so different because there when you're growing up, it's like the curriculum for our school was super focused on just kind of nurturing, like being a good person rather

it's just so different because there when you're growing up, it's like the curriculum for our school was super focused on just kind of nurturing, like being a good person rather than I feel like the US is-- which I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but is very focused on getting really good grades, getting straight A's so you can go to college. And that just was something that was not the case for me in middle school. So it was really hard transitioning to-- The grind. Yeah. The grind. You weren't on a grind in Switzerland. So I wonder if your middle school experience has got to be totally different than American middle school. Completely different. We would spend our days going on hikes in the mountains and learning about the plants. Yeah. And everyone probably got along. Oh, yeah. We were all like this, even with the parents. It was like you create your own family because we're all foreign. Yeah. And you would take the train. Yeah, we would take public transportation every day to school, super safe. The kids there, there's kindergartners walking across the street with their backpack on. It's completely different. Yeah. Completely-- well, in middle school here is like a war for kids. Just between-- There's no serious fights happening. Girls are mean to other girls. Every boy wants to be the alpha boy. It's traumatizing. I find-- I think for raising three kids, it's traumatizing. Oh, I would say that's a really big difference, too, between the US and Europe is-- or at least for my experience was that since it was such a small school, the girls and the-- we were just all best friends. Super, super close. Even to this day, I still know all of them still hang out all the time. That's great. For kids I was friends with.

the girls and the-- we were just all best friends. Super, super close. Even to this day, I still know all of them still hang out all the time. That's great. For kids I was friends with. And here, I would say it's more separated. Right. So it probably shocked you sometimes with some of the behavior from people here. Still, I bet. You're kind of like-- because you came from such-- it sounds like such a lovely, wonderful place. And then you arrived in America. And it was like, bam, you've got to be on guard. Well, high school was a really hard time to come into it, too. Yeah. I think that's true for any move, but then the move from your situation. So-- Well, thank God I had Karen, my older sister, and we're in it together. And that brought us closer, too, because in Switzerland, we actually weren't that close. Because we were just really good friends with our friends. Yeah. Yeah, she was a little bit of a rebel. Would you ever want to-- would you want to stay here and live in America? Or would you ever live in Switzerland? Stay here just because I'm more used to it here now. But if I would have finished high school there, I probably would have gone to university in Europe. They all went to college in the UK. So if I would have finished there, I definitely would have stayed. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, we're glad you're here. Yeah. We are. Happy to be here. Yeah, I know the girls are glad you're here. You have a little family here. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Ashton, would you like to share your upbringing? Oh, my god. Hello. If you're comfortable. I don't know what to say. We have a sister. Yeah, I'm from Boca. I've always lived here. The only time I lived anywhere else was when Tallahassee for four years.

Hello. If you're comfortable. I don't know what to say. We have a sister. Yeah, I'm from Boca. I've always lived here. The only time I lived anywhere else was when Tallahassee for four years. I have an older sister, Kirsten. I'm 24. She just turned 27. And then it was pretty much my dad who raised me 11 plus because my mom died when I was 11. Right. Did she pass away from cancer? Yeah, cancer. Yeah. So it was the three of you growing up. Yeah, it was just the three of us, but we had a lot of like outside family support. Like my dad had a lot of friends, like all of our neighbors were over all the time. Oh, that's wonderful. And then you and your sister are really close. Yeah, we're really, we've like gone on and off with being close. I feel like we got the most close, like maybe when she had graduated college and I was there. But when we were both in high school, it was like bad. Did you guys fight? Yeah, a lot. Okay. Yeah, I can't picture that at all. Oh my God. We relate a lot with this. I just got to experience what it's like to have a sister. I see the dynamics. It's so interesting. And I don't get involved at all. Yeah, it's better not to. Because they'll make up. So you can't get involved. No. You'll be like the bad. Yeah, no, no, no, no. So did you know Kya in high school or did you guys not know each other that I mean, you had the class together. I think we were like, I feel like we knew of each other. But I don't think we ever like talked until math class. And then I think we saw each other out at like a party once we had class together. It was one of those things when like, yeah, you'd like see your classmate out. And he would be like, oh my God. And I feel like we were like, hi. Yeah, like we were like school friends,

It was one of those things when like, yeah, you'd like see your classmate out. And he would be like, oh my God. And I feel like we were like, hi. Yeah, like we were like school friends, but it was like we actually liked each other. So it was like cool. Yeah, exactly. So big question. Where do each of you see each other? See yourselves. I'm sorry in five years. Oh my God. What would be a what would where do you know, where do you hope? Where do you hope to see yourself? Is that 29? For me, 28 years. It will in a month. It'll be 29. Oh a month for me. It'll be 30. Holy shit. Holy shit. Oh my God. No. Don't say that. We need more. I'm sorry. I didn't go by like this. They're gonna drink wine after this. Okay. I don't know. I think we I would like to be established and happy and confident in my career. Yeah. And then hopefully have a relationship. Maybe a guy a boy or a lover. And then yeah, I don't know. No, those are changing. Those are two very big goals. Those are big goals. So that's what about you Ashlyn? Want me to go to Kaya? Like maybe like hopefully like engaged. Owning a house. Maybe you're buying one established in my career kind of the same thing as well. Yeah. So kind of starting on the beginning of the adult life. Okay, same. But I need to like leave the country at some point. Yeah. Yeah. I need to leave. Yeah. So that needs to happen in the next five years and same thing. I want to be established in my career. Have a nice guy in my life. And then I think eventually down the road. I think like the three of us and our friends need to have like a vacation house. That's what was in our dream. That's great. That's a wonderful goal. Yeah. Yeah. Cause then when you can bring your families there too. Yeah. Family trips.

like a vacation house. That's what was in our dream. That's great. That's a wonderful goal. Yeah. Yeah. Cause then when you can bring your families there too. Yeah. Family trips. Family trips. Girls trips. Yeah. Kid trips. Have you picked a destination for this house yet? I feel like we've talked about it. We've been a couple. We've thought about like countryside, but I feel like we will be lived by the beach already now. So yeah, I need to be a little different. Yeah. Like honestly, I just see myself swinging on the swing from the tree. Yeah. And just like happy. I always think about the movie, the Yaya Sisterhood. Yeah. Yes. You really get the mountain. Yes. Yeah. That's a great. That's those are wonderful goals, honestly. And and this is the time to take those steps to achieve them. Do you have any questions for me? I was going to ask you in the beginning, like with the roommate process, how did you guys, I don't know if you had a random or like if you knew who you were going to live with freshman year, but like college. Yeah. Because like they met on Facebook. Right. Oh, yeah. And we didn't have social media. Yeah. I'm not sure how it went down. I did end up with a random. I think that the college gave you the phone number of a person and then you called them. You called them. That's really scary. Oh my god. I know. You called them on a landline phone. Do you know what a landline phone is? And you talked. Oh my god. My mom always talks about the landline. It's like whenever I had a boy calling, I would have the phone was in the living room. So she would have to sit there and talk to them in the living room. Yes. Couldn't someone hop on and like hear what you were talking about? If they had another

was in the living room. So she would have to sit there and talk to them in the living room. Yes. Couldn't someone hop on and like hear what you were talking about? If they had another phone in the other room. Yeah. Yeah. You could get it real quiet and then you'd listen. Yeah. I would hate that. Yeah. And when people, if you were on the phone and other people called, they'd get a busy signal and they would just keep calling until you were off the phone. So they couldn't get ahold of you until the person on the phone got off the phone. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? So in college, like we called and we spoke and then we moved in together and she was nice. She was very nice. But my neighbor who lived next door is who became my first best friend in college. Maya. And then I moved out sophomore year with my other best friend from college, Kendall. We lived in an apartment and that was that was a great year. So I'm still friends with her to this day. Yeah. She's one of my best friends. But yeah, it was it was picking up a phone and and then I think actually oh, this will this will trip you out after we spoke. She wrote me a letter. Yes, it came in the mail before you moved in. Yes. Multiple pages and then I think I wrote her something back because that's how you communicate. A letter. Wait, did you guys ever have to depend how like when you were younger in school? We did like a fake one. They didn't go anywhere. Maybe mine was fake and I just didn't touch on. I think I did. Mine might have been fake though. Actually, I think mine was real. I think you know, it was not what's real and it was before I was young young. This was legit. I remember it arriving in an envelope. That's what people did. I remember I met on my senior trip in Mexico.

and it was before I was young young. This was legit. I remember it arriving in an envelope. That's what people did. I remember I met on my senior trip in Mexico. I met a guy and he sent me a letter. Well after the trip was over and came to my house. That's how you communicated and you sent letters. In fact, I think with your dad even the first summer we after that after senior year and he was home for a couple weeks. I think we exchanged letters. People wrote letters. Do you still have them? I don't know. Maybe I'm sure I do. Nicole. Yeah, no, it's definitely not that but no, it was normal to write letters. That was how you communicated or you called on the phone. See that's one thing that I think is different with our generations for sure is we like know what everyone's doing at any time. Like if you're posting it on Snapchat or Instagram or like even just Snapchatting with someone or texting. We don't get any letters. We're not getting letters. We're seeing that we weren't invited. W-A-D. You up? Yeah, so one thing I've observed about the social media with your age is it feels like you could easily go through an entire get to know you in a week with a guy where for me it would have taken three months to get that far. But because there's 24-7 access you can talk about everything in text and there's not there isn't that space that mystery there is that brain. Yeah, so it speeds everything up really fast and I don't know if that's pro or con. There's no slow burn. Yeah, and I love a slow burn. Yeah, you probably have to work harder for a slow burn now, right? Yeah, I don't know. What's considered a slow burn? I think I'm in one right now. No, not with like some... We can edit that out. What would be considered a

for a slow burn now, right? Yeah, I don't know. What's considered a slow burn? I think I'm in one right now. No, not with like some... We can edit that out. What would be considered a slow burn for your generation? How much time to like be taught like what is a slow burn? What's a slow burn with social media and the social media generation? I think a slow burn can be whatever you want a slow burn to be as long as... Okay, so for example, when I read a book, they don't get together to page 500 or 600. That's a slow burn. So in my generation you would go on multiple dates. It would be out like on the weekend, you know, and that's when you would see each other as that date and then you wouldn't do anything social till the next weekend and you'd have phone calls in between. But it might be weeks and weeks and weeks, you know, that was a slow burn. But I don't know for your generation, you're talking, you're talking, you're getting to know each other. And then now it's like, do you know if it's a slow burn or if it's just... They're not interested. Yeah, or you don't know what they want. What would you say me and Josh were not a slow burn? No, because you were together every day. Yeah, like we spent a lot of time together, but we didn't date for like five or six months. But that's the right kind of slow burn actually. That's the right kind of slow burn because you're still spending so much time together. Yeah, that's true. But you're not rushing the label. Yeah, I will be the first to say that is one of the best ways to start friendship before relationship. Yeah, that's how... It's one of the best ways. That's really what you do. You were friends and then you took that step and that's... Then that friendship is always there in the relationship. Yeah.

It's one of the best ways. That's really what you do. You were friends and then you took that step and that's... Then that friendship is always there in the relationship. Yeah. It's great. It keeps a certain level of respect. Yeah. So yeah, that's one thing is the social media has changed dating for sure. But that's all you guys know. Yeah, right? So maybe game for... I don't know if it's game or I know Dylan calls it Riz. But maybe game for your generation, the men in your generation would be to do some old school... Yeah. ... gestures. Yeah, I think that's... Oh, yeah. Bring you guys some flowers. Walk up to the door. Yeah, that doesn't happen. Don't text you, I'm here. Walk up, knock, flowers, take you on a date. Like some old school stuff. Open the car door. Open the car door. That's a big one. That's important, yeah. You know, and then maybe send a letter. That'd be reaching. Oh my God. That would be the big move. No, because if they send like a long paragraph text, you're insane. Well, then it's the ick. So I was like, it's a fine line. I think that would be the letter. I'd rather prefer like a letter form at that point. Listen, I've loved talking to you girls. I think you are amazing young women and I'm so excited to see what you're going to accomplish, especially in the next five years. Your 20s can be so challenging and so wonderful and it's so many ups and downs. And you can sometimes just feel defeated and then joyous and it all can happen in one day. So I think you guys are handling this ride so well with a lot of grace, honestly, because it's not easy. People think they don't. I think they underrate how hard your 20s can be. I call it the second childhood because you're not a kid anymore. You're not totally in

honestly, because it's not easy. People think they don't. I think they underrate how hard your 20s can be. I call it the second childhood because you're not a kid anymore. You're not totally in that adult world yet. You're in that in between figuring it all out. And the main thing is just to keep going and keep trying things and keep believing in yourself. Keep your boundaries and all that. But I think you guys have such a hold on this. So it's and I'm just so happy you sat down to share some of your thoughts because I know that's not always easy, you know, to, to, to have people ask you questions right on the spot and to be able to have to share. So thank you for giving us this time. We appreciate it. Happy to be here. This is so fun. Yeah. That would be fun to do is maybe in like a year, do another one and see where you're all at. Yeah, that would be fun. Yeah. Well, and the cool thing for you guys is this will you'll always have this so you can look back on this, you know, share. So thank you for coming and spending time with Genex Adulting and until next time. And thank you for listening. If anyone has any comments or anything they want to share, please do. We always love to hear from you and we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.