Episode 17 - GenZ Women Series: Brooke

[Music] Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we have Brooke with us. Welcome. Hello. Our first question is always what year were you born? 2001. Okay, so you're Gen Z. Mm-hmm. You are definitely Gen... you're like right there. 100%. Okay. So she's not a zillennial, she's Gen Z. Some people put the 2000, 2001, 2002 people into the zillennials, but I find that once you are born in 2000, you really... they seem to identify more and relate more with just Gen Z. Yeah. You know. I accept my fate, you know. I think Gen Z is awesome. Exactly. I love Gen Z women. I think Gen Z women are just such a hope for our future. So I think it's awesome. And where were you born? I was born in Dearborn, Michigan. No way. Yeah. Wow. So my family's from Dearborn, Michigan. Really? Yeah, I'm Armenian. Oh, really? Yeah, so there's like a lot of Armenians there and my great-grandparents started there. I think it was them started there and then everyone branched off, but I... my dad was born there. I was born in Michigan. I was born in Pontiac. Really? Not to put it on to me, but I never meet anyone born in Dearborn, Michigan. It's like a once in a blue moon thing. So you're not Middle Eastern though, are you? No, I'm a hundred percent Polish. I'm like the whitest of the white. Okay. Okay. Okay. So is there a big Polish community in Dearborn? Not that I know of. It's just my grandparents are from Grand Rapids. Yeah. And they're so they're really Polish and I feel like the more up in Michigan you get, the more, you know, the more Polish you get. I was gonna say like the more like you get super, super white people. Yeah, that's true. You burn in the stun like you step out. Yeah. Yeah. So why Dearborn? Who was in Dearborn? Do you know? I don't really know.

get super, super white people. Yeah, that's true. You burn in the stun like you step out. Yeah. Yeah. So why Dearborn? Who was in Dearborn? Do you know? I don't really know. I know my parent, my mom and my biological father, they moved there right around like after they got married and then they stayed there, had me and then once they got that divorce, they moved to Florida. So that's all I know. Okay. Yeah. So were they from Michigan? Yeah. My mom's from I believe Lansing. Yeah. I'm not wrong. Yeah. My dad, no idea. Okay. Okay. But somewhere in Michigan. Yeah, somewhere there. Did you ever go up north? Oh, no, you were so little. You probably have no memories of Michigan. No memory whatsoever. And did you ever go back and visit Michigan? We go every summer. Yeah. Okay. My, do you know where Bear Lake is? No. Is that up north? I've like heard of it. Okay. It's beautiful though. It's like you go out there and it's actually the sticks. No service. No, just lakes and then it's gorgeous. I don't even know how else to say it. Up north is amazing. My dad lived on Burt Lake. It's another random Lake Burt Lake. I've heard of it though. He lives in the Indian River. I don't know if you've heard of Indian. No, there's like so many little towns, but he was up there for a few years. And I think that was when he was the happiest of his life. He loved up north. The upper UP is beautiful too. I love it up there. Yeah. Have you been to Mackinac Island? Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love that place. My parents had their honeymoon on Mackinac Island. Yeah. Did they go to the Grand Hotel? Do you know that's like that famous hotel? I want to say it's all white. I want to say they did and they went through like they had like some

Yeah. Did they go to the Grand Hotel? Do you know that's like that famous hotel? I want to say it's all white. I want to say they did and they went through like they had like some scary maze back in the day. Okay. Okay that they were hyping up when I was younger. So Mackinac Island is absolutely just the most special place. I love it. It really is. So when how old were you when they moved so that did they get a divorce in Michigan or want to say, you know, they did get a divorce in Michigan and then when my sister when my mom found out she was pregnant with my sister, my mom moved us down to Florida. So I was probably like one and a half to so what was her decision-making there to come to Florida? It was kind of in my opinion. I think it was just to get away from my dad, but then he followed her. Okay. Okay. When he went down to Florida with her and then he ended up moving. I don't know if you guys know where Cape Coral is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I moved to Cape Coral and we moved to Fort Myers Estero area. Okay. So those are like right next to each other. Exactly. My mom's like, oh god. So when you guys first came down, she moved to Fort Myers with my grandparents because they were they were living up in Ocala at the time. So then my mom was like, let's just all move down to Fort Myers and then shortly thereafter your dad followed. So did she instigate the divorce? I assume then you know that that that's the thing that is always just like so iffy both sides say like I did and then the other person's like no I did and I'm like guys listen, it's not like a win-win situation. Right, right, right, right. But then he followed down and then were they able to keep an amicable relationship? No, never. Okay, never. All right.

listen, it's not like a win-win situation. Right, right, right, right. But then he followed down and then were they able to keep an amicable relationship? No, never. Okay, never. All right. So then what was your exposure to him during those years? So those years it was kind of like he came around when he wanted to and like my mom was pretty much playing like the role as like a single parent living with her parents at the time and my dad he would like it was so weird. He they tried to set like a set. Oops, sorry. The schedule for like with the courts or whatever like Christmas holidays, whatever. Mm-hmm. My dad would like only pick like what holiday he wanted wouldn't tell my mom. So my mom's just kind of like left in the dark with that but then he would turn around and take her to court saying that she's the reason that he can't have me on the holidays when my mom's like now that's not the case whatsoever. Right. Yeah, he was playing a game a hundred percent to just kind of sounds like torment her a little bit exactly. That's like his favorite thing to do was just like drive her up a wall at all times. Now we're both you and your sister his? No. Okay, that's that's a funny story. My sister is what my dad's old friend's kid. Your biological dad's. Yeah, friends child. Yeah, so she got pregnant before Michigan and when she moved down did her dad come down to Florida? No her dad if my if my if I remember this correctly got arrested shortly thereafter for I think meth dealing. Okay, so he's been in a jail for a long time. So she doesn't have a relationship doesn't even know who he is. Okay. Yeah. Okay, and but she knows of him. She knows of him now, but yeah growing up until probably like 14. She didn't know who he was.

doesn't even know who he is. Okay. Yeah. Okay, and but she knows of him. She knows of him now, but yeah growing up until probably like 14. She didn't know who he was. Okay, and then was did you have a father figure in your life in those formative years? You could call my grandpa my father figure. I ended up meeting somebody from a friend when we moved down to Fort Myers named Lee. He's now my stepdad. Okay. He was there since I was probably like four years old. My sister was two and at first I hated him. I thought he was the worst thing ever because he was trying to be my dad and I was like hardcore. You're not my dad. Stop acting like it. And so it took me until I was probably like 15. So even starting. Yeah, yeah, even starting at four. You were digging in. Because your biological dad was making appearances and those were probably very exciting for you, especially because you he was like a novelty. Yeah, it was kind of like it made me want to be around him more, but I couldn't you know, and so I honestly growing up. I was always like oh, I just want to live with my dad. Like that's all I want. I don't want to live with my mom when in reality, you know, it shouldn't have been that right, right. So what during those years when Lee entered your life and your dad was making appearances, did your dad make consistent appearances or was there a period where you stopped seeing him for a while? Oh, it'd be like like it would be like you like he'd go like a year without seeing me and then appear again and then try and try and try for like months and then just give up again. And then it was like him calling me late at night being like oh like when am I going to see you again? It's like what who where did you go? Right, right.

months and then just give up again. And then it was like him calling me late at night being like oh like when am I going to see you again? It's like what who where did you go? Right, right. So it's very sporadic and what it probably created some trust issues. It really did for you. Especially with men. Oh, big time. Yeah, and I can relate to this as I have a little bit of a similar background. So did was Lee consistent? Always. He never really left the picture. They were together now at like I want to say when I like they didn't move in together until probably like two years in but he moved all the way from California down to Florida. He made a huge commitment to my mom. They moved in together. How did they meet? My mom's best friend Alana growing up said hey, we're going over to California. You come with us. I believe if my story is not mixed up and they went up to California. She introduced my mom to leave from like her boyfriend at the time. So they're just like on vacation. Yeah in California and they met and hung out and it was that much of an impression that and long distance back then would have been great letters. Yeah, pretty and landline phone calls. If I can I mean we're talking like what 80s 90s. No, no, no, no, no, no, I was born at this point. I was oh, true. Yeah, we're in the phone. Okay. Yeah, I was thinking back when we were growing up. No, so you're right. She's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So flip phone where you press the button like three times to get an A or okay. So they were at least able to text. Yeah. Okay, and then he made that commitment to come over. Wow, that's cool. I know and then was it pretty stable childhood would you say with your mom and Lee? It was they were so I know that the

Okay, and then he made that commitment to come over. Wow, that's cool. I know and then was it pretty stable childhood would you say with your mom and Lee? It was they were so I know that the beginning of the relationship was a little rocky just because they were trying to figure it out like what like Lee has no kids whatsoever and he was now getting introduced to having two kids and he was like they were just going back and forth. I believe there was a part where they were on and off for a little while there. But besides that really they were always kind of together. It's always been like really I've known them as them even when they were broken up. I would still see Lee at the time. Unfortunately, because I didn't like him. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, my grandparents. They weren't a fan of them either. They thought that he was terrible and I was just like, okay, I'm gonna feed off of what you guys are telling me because I'm a child as an app as that happens. Definitely was there a particular reason though you think your grandparents weren't a fan. So my grandparents are Mormon. They're hardcore to the bone Mormon and it might all they wanted was my mom to marry like somebody who was also Mormon because there are other two kids did the same thing. They married somebody who was Mormon and when Lee came to the picture, he didn't really have like a side to choose like he didn't have a religion that he was set in and they like hated that. They were like, no, absolutely not. Yeah, and it took them just as long as me to like actually like him. Right, right. So were you raised Mormon? I was I didn't get baptized Mormon until I was about I want to say 12 years old. Okay, but I remember like my earliest memories was in the

like him. Right, right. So were you raised Mormon? I was I didn't get baptized Mormon until I was about I want to say 12 years old. Okay, but I remember like my earliest memories was in the Mormon Church and stuff like that. Okay, so how so how would you compare growing up in the Mormon Church to how would you explain that to somebody who grows up Jewish or grows up Catholic? Are there stark differences you would say in my opinion? There was like a whole bunch of differences like right off the bat when sure I think it's like eight years old. They start like making sure it's like engraved in your brain that like you are supposed to stay at home and cook and clean and like that's your only God-given duty to do. And so they literally have a camp called the Young Women's Camp where you go and you learn how to cook and clean take care of the house and I had to do that from the age of what was that? I think it's 13 to 18. You just go to a camp every summer for like two weeks in the middle of the forest and you just like sit in these like little cabins and you just try to learn how to be the proper wife to them. Where is this camp located? The one so they have one like all over this like the United States. Yeah, they're everywhere. But the one I went to was in Fort Myers. Oh, so not far from home. So but you didn't come home in between you went and spent the night at the camp. Yeah, it was two straight weeks of just learning. Learning had to that had to have been how did you reconcile that because your mom wasn't Mormon, right? So she was raised Mormon too. She was she just didn't follow it very quickly. I didn't get so the reason I didn't get baptized until I was 12 was because like my mom she was always iffy about it might my real dad.

She was she just didn't follow it very quickly. I didn't get so the reason I didn't get baptized until I was 12 was because like my mom she was always iffy about it might my real dad. Oh my God, don't even get me started on that. He was like, I'm Catholic. You're not getting baptized Mormon. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. So then I never really we never went through with it. But until like my mom went to rehab then I like, you know, I was stuck with my grandparents and they were like, well, you got out. Okay, so let's backtrack. So your mom went to rehab. Okay, so there was some substance abuse issues there with just your mom all three of my parents all three of you. So when your parents were in Dearborn were there substance abuse issues there? I want to say yes. I don't know because I don't I was so young at that point, but my dad's kind of always had a really bad problem with drugs and alcohol and my mom was really only I want to say alcohol and my stepdad was drugs and alcohol as well. Okay, and so then when you were in Florida growing up you were still you so your stepdad and your mom there was substance abuse going on through your formative years all the time. What kind of substance? My stepdad I believe he just was like hooked on Adderall. Okay, and you know looking back on it. It's kind of crazy because I would wake up for school and he'd be funniest thing now, but back then it wasn't right. He'd be up playing the Wii at like 6 a.m. just locked in and I'm always like looking at him like you just got up to play the Wii. No, he's been up all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I'm sure that was just such a stark contrast between your mom and your stepdad and then with the substance abuse and then your grandparents were so Mormon

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I'm sure that was just such a stark contrast between your mom and your stepdad and then with the substance abuse and then your grandparents were so Mormon and then being sent to this camp in the summer to learn how to be a wife and a mother but really your home life is going against everything in some ways the churches because you're not supposed to drink or do drugs light in the church is that correct? You can't even drink coffee like it's very strict. No kidding. Okay, no tea, no coffee energy. I can't become a Mormon. That's what I'm saying. I can't be Mormon anymore. So it's so it's no tea, no coffee, no alcohol, no drugs, no drugs, no tattoos. You can't show your shoulders. You can't show your knees. You have to oh, this was my favorite one growing up as a teenager. If you have a boyfriend before the age of 16, you have to sit down with the Bishop and explain why you should have a boyfriend or you should be allowed to date and then once you turn 16, you have to go and chaperone dates with your parents and you can't have a serious relationship until you're 18 years old. And so and then when you have the serious relationship, do they assume this is a relationship for marriage pretty much? They expect you to pretty much get married within the year. That's crazy. So how do you think the religion matches up with society now? Do you think a lot of young people are leaving the religion? In my opinion, yeah, I mean with social media and everything you're like you see like how other people live and that's no weird near what like Mormons are supposed to write and I've realized like a lot of my friends growing up that I've met through the Mormon religion. They just don't go anymore. They don't really abide by

supposed to write and I've realized like a lot of my friends growing up that I've met through the Mormon religion. They just don't go anymore. They don't really abide by those rules anymore either. So I would very strict. Yeah, I would say strict you get you just brought up such a great point though. I would assume social media in some ways has affected the Extremely as far as keeping young people in the church. Exactly. I don't know if you guys heard about this, but there's this the show that just came out on Hulu. It's called I think the Mormon wives or something like that. Yeah, and like the Secret Life of the Mormon wives or something like that where these girls are absolutely not abiding by a single Mormon law, but they they call themselves Mormon. Right. And so there's been like a huge increase in people like saying that they're Mormon but not abiding by any of the rules and it's driving like the hardcore Mormons insane. And I think I've seen them on social media like they look kind of like real housewives. Right. I have like five different baby daddies. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say they're doing like sex parties and they are. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, but then are they going to church? Like are they in the Mormon Church? Yeah, but so they're just kind of saying I wonder if that's just all part of the shtick. I think you know like the show exactly, but then is the hardcore far extremes where it's the polygamous and they've been accused of child abuse and sex abuse and all that. So you have that sect and then you have probably just the regular Mormons who've been functioning fine and then social media showed up and you've got a whole television show kind of a parody in some ways. And then you also have all your young

regular Mormons who've been functioning fine and then social media showed up and you've got a whole television show kind of a parody in some ways. And then you also have all your young people seeing social media and having FOMO and they're probably I'm wondering how it's going on and with the Amish folks. They're really yeah, I've been seeing a lot of Amish people start using their phones posting on social media and it's like but you guys were against technology. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's really interesting how and that's where with Catholics were just like whatever. Yeah, you know, if you do something to my dad, right? You do some bad just go to confession start all over. It's fine and they drink so it all works out. Okay. So you had this this contrasting life of living at home with some dysfunctionality, your dad popping in popping out, your grandparents wanting this Mormon life for you, this very straight lace life for you. What made you to decide? What did you say at age 14 you accepted Lee and you had didn't have issues with him? I want to say was like 14 or 15. I finally was just like, all right, I don't have a choice. He's been here for so long. I guess I gotta like this guy and my dad was just like so in and out at that point where I was like, all right. Well, guess you're gonna be my stepdad then like see exactly except you probably he wasn't sounds like he couldn't have been the worst person. Right. Yeah. No at that point at that age. He was sober for I want to say like eight years. Okay. So yeah, when did what age were you when your mom went to rehab? So my mom went to rehab when I want to say I was either 12 or 13 and it was kind of eye-opening because when you're when you're a kid, you don't really

were you when your mom went to rehab? So my mom went to rehab when I want to say I was either 12 or 13 and it was kind of eye-opening because when you're when you're a kid, you don't really realize that your parents have a problem. You just think like oh, that's just how mom works. Yeah. Yeah. And it took my grandparents kind of sitting me down being like no, your mom has like a real problem. Like she's gonna go away for a little while and I was like, what do you mean? Yeah, mom was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Was it mainly alcohol you said? I want to say yeah, I never heard anything else. So it's very easy to be a high-functioning alcoholic. Exactly. Especially for women because we take on so much and we just keep going going going. And so many people wouldn't even know if somebody's drunk during that time or drinking. Exactly. And if you drink enough on a regular basis, you're not even really drunk. You're just kind of functioning. Yeah, you're yeah. Was there an event that happened that said you've got to go to rehab or so you're describing high-function. This is oh, yeah, across the threshold. So we were living in Jupiter, Florida at this point now. My stepdad has been out of rehab for X amount of years. I don't remember at this point and my mom. She always kept like a huge handle of I think it was her drink of choice was smeared off. Right. So my stepdad was like that handle is like almost gone and like I'm I can't be around somebody who is an alcoholic for me for my sobriety and he kind of like said I hate to say this but you guys got to go and he kicked my mom and my sister and I out and he said you got you got to figure it out. I'm not going to be with somebody that's an alcoholic. Right. So then the next day my

and he kicked my mom and my sister and I out and he said you got you got to figure it out. I'm not going to be with somebody that's an alcoholic. Right. So then the next day my grandparents literally show up and they take us down to Fort Myers and my mom's like well I'm not an alcoholic. So I'm not going to go to rehab. My grandparents like no, you need to go to rehab and then it didn't hit me that she actually had a problem until she started hiding it in Windex bottles. There were yeah, it was like a real problem and the problem with the Fort Myers rehab was they didn't I don't think they had a detox center. So they made you detox at home and I had to take care of her while she was detoxing and I'm telling you it's like the most terrifying thing you could ever go through. Absolutely. And how old are you? I want to say I was like 12 or 13. That's pretty heavy. Yeah. So like that's crazy. She I will never I will always say there's like she looks like the devil was coming out of her. Yeah, the whole time. I'm just sitting there. I'm like, oh my god. She's telling me things like like that. That no kid should hear come out of their mom's mouth and I'm just sitting there like what is going on like five days ago. I thought you're a normal person. You're like screaming at me and like holy shit and then physically I'm sure she was getting sick. Yeah, she was in so much pain throwing up and it really broke my heart, but you know that that's a traumatic physical withdrawal from the alcohol and vodka's boat. Yeah, but it's a drug. She also went to the hospital a few weeks prior to that because I don't I forgot what the disease is, but it's when your legs swell up. So get like a Deema or something. Yeah, kind of like yeah, but it was from

prior to that because I don't I forgot what the disease is, but it's when your legs swell up. So get like a Deema or something. Yeah, kind of like yeah, but it was from the alcohol and they almost had to cut her legs off. Oh, wow. Yeah, my mom was like, okay, I'll cut back on the drinking and unfortunately she didn't so then wow, so she was drinking that much. You know, there was a risk. She could have died through withdrawal. I don't I think it's supposed to be supervised by a doctor when it's to that degree. It's kind of crazy that they put you and your grandparents. I guess in charge. Wow. So then she was expected to with go through withdrawal. I think it's 24-hour period and then you just have to then you just go in. So like yeah, the next day my grandparents drove her down and how long was she there? I want to say she was there for about like two three months. Oh, wow. Yeah, because they insurance huge thing. Yeah, if they don't want to cover you're gonna have to pay a whole bunch out of pocket and my grandparents didn't have that kind of money. Yeah, neither did my mom. Right. And she was spending all of her money all the time. Was she working? She was always in and out of jobs. Okay. At that time. I believe she was working as like a front desk or like a wash person at like a hair salon. Yeah, just to backtrack for Myers to Jupiter. What was the reasoning why you guys went to Jupiter? I actually oh my stepdad he works. He works down in Miami and the Fort Myers to Miami truck. He didn't want to make so he chose Jupiter instead. That's a whole too though. That's what I'm saying. I was like you guys chose Jupiter, but I guess his office is based out of like Delray or Wayne or something like that. So he was like, oh I can

That's a whole too though. That's what I'm saying. I was like you guys chose Jupiter, but I guess his office is based out of like Delray or Wayne or something like that. So he was like, oh I can stop there and then go to Miami. Okay, that makes sense. Having a lube all the way around. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. A quick question. What's the age difference between you and your mom? My mom, she's 49. Well, she's turning 49 this month. I won't talk the year off of her and then I'm 23. So okay. I'm not wasn't 26. Yeah, that's how old I was when I had Nathan. Yeah. So she went through rehab for two to three months and you and your sister were with your grandparents during that time. So during that time, were you really immersed then into the Mormon Church? It was like balls to the wall right after. Because they had you all to themselves. They were like, oh this is perfect. Yeah. So were you going to church every week? Is it once a week or is it multiple times? So it's Wednesdays you go for like the kids they go there and they do whatever games or you know learning activity that they have and then you go to church on Sundays for three and a half. Wow. And then is this in addition to going to school? So on Wednesdays when would you go before or after school? After school around like 5 p.m. Okay. All right. Did you get a big social circle from that? Yes and no, I never really got along with them because I've never really loved the Mormon like Outlook or like the rules. So I was always like the bad Apple. Right. Even at that age at 12 13 14. You were like, I don't know about this. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm just curious. Did you ever have a point where you're like, I can kind of jive with this or were you always in it somewhat rebelling?

You were like, I don't know about this. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm just curious. Did you ever have a point where you're like, I can kind of jive with this or were you always in it somewhat rebelling? Did it ever resonate at all? So I was so when I first started going I was like, oh I can get used to this and then once I turned 13, that's when you go to this young women's group thing and I went to the first year of the camp and I was like, oh, this isn't too bad. You get to hang out with all these girls mean girls because you know, they're better than you because they know more in a trip. So that's going on. There's a hierarchy probably and I didn't read the Book of Mormon. I know I said I did back in the day, but I promise you I barely read that. It's like saying you read the Bible. Like I haven't read the Bible. Yeah, I'd see the gift you a Bible like a huge Bible probably this thick with like half fits the Book of Mormon and the rest is just a normal Bible. Yeah, and you get these strings and it's like for there's like I forgot the list, but it's like gratitude. If you like show that you have a great amount of gratitude, you get a string and if you collect all the strings by the 18 you get this necklace that is like supposed to be like your pure. Oh my goodness, but who decides who gets the string the Bishop and how does he notice he have like spies watching you to make sure who's who's grateful or who's has the most gratitude. So when you enter the high school years, you have to go to Mormon school every morning from I believe 5 a.m. until 7 when you go into school and it was it was insane. I my grandparents still forced me to go even though my mom was back in the picture. Okay, I would sleep through the entire thing.

until 7 when you go into school and it was it was insane. I my grandparents still forced me to go even though my mom was back in the picture. Okay, I would sleep through the entire thing. I didn't have any of those strings. I wanted but I was willing to put the work in for it. I'm a piece of shit high schooler. Okay, I don't know. Normal high school your normal high school. You have to like do all my homework. You want me to also do that? I'm like no, I where where do you how where do you when do you sleep? Where do you find the time for everything with these kids? If they have to be there from 5 to 7 and then go to high school. I can't even imagine were their kids though that were there and paying attention to the wall. Really? It was insane like these people would sit there and they the teacher would ask a question me slumped out on the desk just passed out. Everybody's like, oh, I know what I'm like. Okay, wow overachiever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but it's almost like just wanting that validation that acceptance and a competition to see who's the most the best the most. That was the best one of them all right, right, right. So you had so what was that like 9th grade that was 9th grade until 12th grade. You're supposed to go. Yeah, and how long did you go 9th grade 9th grade? Okay, so your mom say when did you rebel when I was like halfway through sophomore year? I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. My mom's like, I'll take your car away. I'm like you can't I don't care. So she so she returned back from rehab and you guys kept living with your grandparents. Oh, yeah, and least was still over in Jupiter. Were they still married during this time? So they've never been married actually. Okay, fun fact. They've been dating for 20 22 years now.

Oh, yeah, and least was still over in Jupiter. Were they still married during this time? So they've never been married actually. Okay, fun fact. They've been dating for 20 22 years now. But they're still together. Yeah. Okay, they call each other husband and wife. You know, it's not on the books. Right, right, right. That works. Yeah, of course, but they were still at this time. It was like my mom was so hurt about him like kicking us out and stuff because that's that's a lot to do on her and her kids. So my mom was like on and off. They were like talking but they weren't together, right? He was he was like Lee's. I mean not Lee. He was Avery's only my younger sister's father figure. So my mom was like you can come and see her you can come visit her but like respectfully right distance and then they ended up getting back together. So speaking of your sister, how did she feel about the Mormon Church? Was she she was better than me? I'm going to be honest until up until probably sophomore year too. She just she gave it her all her freshman year. My grandparents like you're doing so good. I'm so proud of you. They'd look at me and be like, what are you doing? Get it together. I'm like guys. I'm not going. I'm not waking up at 4 a.m. And then going to school after that. Yeah. Yeah. And what's the age difference between you and your sister? Two years. Two. Okay. Yeah. So you were living with your grandparents and your mom's still doing the Mormon thing through ninth grade and then through mid sophomore year still living with your grandparents and your mom and how hard was it when you decided to stop going to those classes? How hard was it for you at home? Oh my god. Well, I should say like I never got along with my like parents

and your mom and how hard was it when you decided to stop going to those classes? How hard was it for you at home? Oh my god. Well, I should say like I never got along with my like parents or my grandparents when I was growing up because I think it was just like with my dad and all that that other thing like I was rebelling against them because I was like you guys are the problem. Okay, my dad's not the problem. Right. Right. I wanted to you know, see what it was going to be like to live with him and they never gave me that chance and I was always so mad at them because I'm like you guys first of all you need me to come Mormon. Okay, right. I didn't want this but I did it for you guys. To make you happy. Yeah, I hated it. So then I started rebelling against it and then if I didn't go to church freak out and I'm like guys, I'm over it. Okay, my all my parents I'd get in fights with them and then I'd be grounded for months. Oh my god. Yeah, my mom loves pulling that grounding card. Yeah, because she even though she had had a lifestyle of abuse. She was probably thinking maybe if you are Mormon it would help you not following those footsteps exactly and maybe it would give you some parameters to work within and and maybe you want to party or whatever. So she did the complete opposite. Did it make you want to party more? Yeah, it did because I was when I'd go to high school. I'd have all these friends that were always going to party is sneaking out at night or like skipping school and I was like, oh, this is cool. Yeah, nobody does this in the Mormon religion, right? I'm gonna do it. So when did you start that? What it wasn't when you mid sophomore year when you walked away? Were you doing that? Were you partying at all before then?

the Mormon religion, right? I'm gonna do it. So when did you start that? What it wasn't when you mid sophomore year when you walked away? Were you doing that? Were you partying at all before then? It was mid sophomore year right when I stopped going. I was like the worst kid you could imagine. My mom was always getting calls from the school saying, hey, she didn't show up today. My mom's like, where were you? I was like, oh, I just showed up late. No, I just didn't go. Yeah, and then sneaking out. Oh my god, the amount of times my grandpa would wake up the middle of the night check my room and I wasn't there. Oh boy. So you were hanging out with your friends. Yeah, partying. Yeah, we would just sneak over to this one person's house always because their parents were just kind of like the same. They just didn't care. Yeah. Yeah. It was the same thing all the time. And would you say so you would say that was a big rebellion. A huge rebellion. Yeah, not just against being in the church, but also about them not letting you live with your dad. Would you say just kind of all culminated in that moment of your life? It was like everything. I was kind of taking everything that happened to me as like a child and as like a teenager and I bundled it all up into one and was like you guys are right, right, right and I'm getting it. So was it just drinking? I started. Yeah, it was drinking at first and then I started smoking weed when I was a teenager. I don't do that anymore. Cause it's just I have anxiety, right? I think that happens to pretty much everyone wants to become an adult like I'm overthinking everything. I have to stop this. I'm sitting there. I'm like, oh god, even if you have the most perfect life, you find something you need to worry about.

an adult like I'm overthinking everything. I have to stop this. I'm sitting there. I'm like, oh god, even if you have the most perfect life, you find something you need to worry about. It's an adult. Exactly. You fixate. So yeah, it was it was just I was huge on smoking weed me and my friend Sammy. I would just always just get caught by my mom and she'd be like guys, you need to get it together. You guys are glazed over and I was like, you're the problem. So did that go on for the rest of high school? Honestly, I think it only so the problem here was my mom. Well, I shouldn't even say my mom. My mom wasn't at the house at the time, but the reason why I had to get moved back up to Jupiter my sophomore year. The reason why I had to, you know, stop going to Mormon school or whatever. I decided it was a great idea to sneak 11 people in my house in the middle of the night. Thought I wasn't going to get caught. Right. Great, great idea. Best part is we were just sitting around watching a movie and my mom's room because she was out of town. So I was like, oh, this is perfect. They're not going to check in here. Movie ends, whatever grandpa walks in the door, right? When the movie ends, I'm like, oh, no, my grandpa loses his mind. People are like, oh, oh my gosh. So then my grandpa goes, I'm done with you. Like your mom's going to talk to you in the morning and we're going to figure something out and literally like three days later, I was moved just to do. Yeah, it was just me and my old were you then at this point. So I'm in sophomore year. So I'm about 15, 16. So you and your sister? No, my sister stayed in Fort Myers with my grandparents and I got moved up to live with my stepdad and and where'd your mom? She well, she started

So I'm about 15, 16. So you and your sister? No, my sister stayed in Fort Myers with my grandparents and I got moved up to live with my stepdad and and where'd your mom? She well, she started traveling for work after she got out of rehab. She got like a really good job and everything. Okay, she was never really home except for like the weekends. Okay, so she would stay in Fort Myers most of the time because the airport's right there. Just get okay. So wow, so wild because your stepdad had no parental rights to you. Right. Now, so did you feel? Did you feel abandoned a little percent? Oh, I rebelled even harder when I moved. Yeah, because did you feel abandoned by your mom? I did. It was like you're throwing me out and making me live with somebody who I still hate. Right at that time. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have to live by myself with him. I was like, you're really just screwing me over when in reality is probably for the best because I was going crazy. It was sober, right? He was. Yeah. And that was that that was always the issue with them. It was like you have to stay sober because you're gonna end up just like me growing up. It was just like the same thing and I'm like, I get it. Okay, it definitely runs in my family. Right. But it's like I'm a kid. Yeah. Yeah. And you have no your ability to look ahead and see the big picture is not even developed at that point. Exactly. Every day is every day. There's nothing beyond that day. I'm not looking down the line. No, I'm gonna get married to this person in this and no, not not unless you're in the Mormon Church to get to there in the Mormon Church. Exactly. So how did Lee feel about that bringing you in? He he set some very strict rules. It was like I think it was 9 p.m.

Mormon Church to get to there in the Mormon Church. Exactly. So how did Lee feel about that bringing you in? He he set some very strict rules. It was like I think it was 9 p.m. Your phone is in my hand. You're not allowed to have your phone at night because he knew I would sneak out. And it was I wasn't allowed to drive my car unless I he like knew where I was going. He made me ride my bike to school. Actually, no way I had to ride my bike even in a really hot Florida weather. I rode my bike in the down pouring rain and he was like, I'm just you know, that's your responsibility. You just rule. Oh my gosh. It was terrible. I was so embarrassed to hate him even more though because I'm like, you're like the new kid at school. I was gonna say you're in a new school. What did you start a junior year at the school? So this would be mid sophomore year and you had to start a new school. So how was that? I school. How was that transition? It was really hard. But the only thing that like worked was because I did go to like elementary like late elementary school and early middle school in Jupiter. True. You would live there. I knew a whole bunch of people. They just didn't remember me. Right. Because I just left randomly. Right. Because we had pretty much pick up everything and leave after Lee kicked us out. When I came back, I really was like, where did you go? And I'm like, oh, I really wished you didn't remember me. Did you rekindle friendships with those same kids? A little bit. It was it was like certain people I started hanging out with and then I realized real quick. It was the wrong people because they were all like super crazy and it was weird. Once I moved to Jupiter, I was like, I need to dial back for a second. I don't want to, you know,

It was the wrong people because they were all like super crazy and it was weird. Once I moved to Jupiter, I was like, I need to dial back for a second. I don't want to, you know, get kicked out of here because then where do I go? You know, I mean, right? God forbid that happened. So then did you kind of stop partying a bit or I did and then I started hanging out with like the old my old friends that I would hang out with and I never really drink though. I was just kind of like the person I would sit around watch everybody drink. So I'd be at a party. I would just kind of be like, I know better. I'm gonna get grounded. Right, right. So their tactic as harsh as it was. It did work. It did work. And so you weren't really drinking but you were still socializing and you and Lee I assume were kind of mending your relationship a little bit or was it rough? It was like it was rough for the first couple months. I was over it because I was like, dude, you're treating me like a like a child. I'm like, I get it. I am a teenager, right? I did mess up a lot. You should take my phone at night. But I was like 9 p.m. Really? Yeah, that's early. That is early. So what about your biological father? Was he still popping in and out during these years? Yeah, this was like right around the time when he heard I moved one that I got shipped all the way back to Jupiter that he was like heavy texting me calling me all the time late at night to when he usually would be drunk and high. He would call me and just be like, oh, this is perfect. We can like get you to move in now because like he's not your biological father. So he has no parental rights and like that I just feeding all this stuff into me and I was like, you know what? You're right.

because like he's not your biological father. So he has no parental rights and like that I just feeding all this stuff into me and I was like, you know what? You're right. You know, for the longest time and then one day it actually worked. I this was the craziest thing I've ever done and I regret it every day, but I literally tricked my mom into thinking I was coming down to visit her for the weekend in Fort Myers. I had all my stuff packed in a backpack and I got to the Fort Myers house. Nobody was there. My my friends were there and they drove me all the way to my dad's house and that was it. I moved I snuckily moved in. So this is still sophomore year. Yeah, this was the end of sophomore year. Also a lot happened in my sophomore that second semester of sophomore year. You squeezed a lot of life into that time. Wow. So you really weren't with lead that long. No, because that's really January to May. Yeah. So did you drive from Jupiter to Fort Myers? Yeah, I drove my well, my mom left her car in Jupiter. So then I was like, oh perfect. I'll drive it and drop it off at her house in Fort Myers and then my friends will be there to pick me up and take me over to Cape Coral to go live with my dad and your dad knew you were coming. My dad a hundred percent knew and he was like she can call the cops. I'm I'm still your biological father. Yeah. So how was it when you got there? I mean, when was the last time you had seen him? Oh my god at that point. It was probably I think I saw him on one of my trips to Fort Myers previously. So it was like probably like six months. Okay. It was just like we went to lunch really quick and caught up and then I left. So okay, that was that was the first time I saw him in a long

So it was like probably like six months. Okay. It was just like we went to lunch really quick and caught up and then I left. So okay, that was that was the first time I saw him in a long time was that lunch at Chili's was like, oh, I can even tell you. I'm sure I'm sure that did he have a room for you and everything? Yeah. Well, he made me sleep on the couch for the first couple nights because the room that was mine was like the storage room. So he moved all the stuff out and then I finally had a room. But right off the get-go was a really rocky start. My mom was calling me begging me to come back and I was like, no, you shipped me away. I did. I told you I didn't want to be shipped away and she was like, this is for your own good. You're doing this so wrong. Da da da da da. And I was like, no, you're wrong. I finally get what I wanted. I get to live with my dad. Yeah. Went south so quickly though. What made it go south? What do you think? My dad's drug and alcohol problem. He wasn't sober, right? No, no, he's not been sober. Not a day in. Still today. Oh, still to this day. Okay. Hardcore party or at five years old drugs, not just alcohol. Yeah, it was like when I got over to his house, he would be like drinking out of a handle a fireball at all times and just like doing so much cocaine and him and his wife at the well, they're still married. But like his wife would do it all the time and just like not care what anybody thought about them. And I was just like, okay, you do your thing. And I always stayed away from like that whole thing. And then one night I invited my friend Sammy over to come sleep over at his house. I was like, this is cool. Look, I'm finally living at my dad's house, right? Yeah.

from like that whole thing. And then one night I invited my friend Sammy over to come sleep over at his house. I was like, this is cool. Look, I'm finally living at my dad's house, right? Yeah. And he let us drink, drink, drink, whatever and we did and then the next morning I woke up and I could tell something was off and he was it was 6 30 in the morning and he's sitting there with a bud light in his hand just still drinking and I'm like, something's weird. Yeah. Yeah. So shortly after that, Sammy came over again, like probably a week later and that's when everything hit the fan. Kind of he was already drunk. It was 4 p.m. And me and Sammy walk in the door and he just like looks at my friend Sammy and says, there's something off about you. I feel like you're being too faced right now. I feel like you're about to do something and my my friends like what? Yeah, we're just here to hang out. Trip. He's just tripping out and and I'm like looking at my dad, calm down. Everything's funny. He's like, no, her mom's a cop. I know what's going on here and I was like, what? He literally starts charging at her pin like gets her in a corner and I'm like, oh my god. I'm screaming at him and my friend Sammy screaming and crying. I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. This cannot be happening. She luckily runs out the front door all the way across the street to a Lowe's sits in the front parking lot. Now I'm in the corner. My dad's got me in the corner. I'm like, what are you gonna do? I literally looked at him. I said fucking hit me. I dare you. Yeah, and he was like, no, I won't do that. I'm just gonna sit here and I was like, like you're freaking me out and I like snuck under his arm ran to the bathroom, lock the door. He bust the door down

like, no, I won't do that. I'm just gonna sit here and I was like, like you're freaking me out and I like snuck under his arm ran to the bathroom, lock the door. He bust the door down and he gets in my face. He's like, you're just like your fucking mother. Like you're a piece of shit. I'm like looking at him. Like I didn't do anything. I came home from picking Sammy up and you're looking at me like I just committed like arson. Right, right, right. And so we Sammy and I came up with this plan after like that all settled and I hid in my room for the rest of the night where she was I mean, she was going to send one of her friends to come like hang out with me for the day and we were going to get me out of my dad's house and that's exactly how it happened the next day. Oh my gosh. Are you and Sammy still friends? Was she a friend from Fort Myers? Yeah, we've been friends for like 10 years now. We played softball together. Okay. Yeah, so I was going to say when you went to Cape Coral, did you go to school there? I went to another new school. Yeah, I went to five different high schools. Okay. Yeah, I was always a new kid. I was used to it. Oh man, that's rough. Yeah, so but he didn't hit you or anything. No, never never ended up hitting me. Thank God. So where did you go? I went back to my grandparents. I was funny enough and did they know what did your mom know what happened? My mom was my mom and Sammy had planned this whole thing together and Sammy just kind of was like telling me because my mom and I weren't really speaking at that time. Yeah. So then once you got home, did you ever see your dad again? Or so the unfortunate part was I realized I left my school laptop at his house and I was like, okay, we have to go back there, but this is

did you ever see your dad again? Or so the unfortunate part was I realized I left my school laptop at his house and I was like, okay, we have to go back there, but this is going to go really south. So we're going to get some police involved, right? Okay. So the police we all drive over there. The police escort me inside and I get my laptop and I grab everything else that I forgot and as I'm walking out, he looks at the cop because yeah, I just want to let you know if she ever steps foot on my property again, I'm going to put a bullet in between her eyes and the cops were like, you know, that's a threat, right? Like you're playing dumb right now. And then the cops and then my dad's like, I'm just saying I'm just being honest. The cops like, do you have a gun? He was like, not for you to see. I'm like, dude. Oh my goodness. Wow. That was the last time I've ever seen him. Is that the last time you saw your dad? Oh my goodness. So have you unpacked that? Because the trauma of that there's love. There's a level. It is heavy. It took me a while to be like, like get over it. Like now I'm totally fine. You're okay. Yeah, you've unpacked it. Yeah, you've settled it and because that is especially at that age and and what a blow to have spent most of your childhood just wanting to live with him because you thought that was the answer to fix everything that everything was wrong and he's the answer and that he ends up being more horrible than everything else combined. Exactly. I mean, what a blow at that age. Like the biggest asshole ever to my parents. I was like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, but you wouldn't have known that. No, no, you kind of find it out for myself. Absolutely. You were the child and it's not like everything was wonderful.

I was like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, but you wouldn't have known that. No, no, you kind of find it out for myself. Absolutely. You were the child and it's not like everything was wonderful. You know, puppies and kittens at your mom's house either. You get a pass as a kid. Yeah, you know, that's something if you have children, that's something you'll learn is the adults are the ones that are supposed to be in charge. Yeah, you know, so it's because for you it was too very unstable situations and then your grandparents trying to bring stability in but with the Mormon Church. Exactly. So which is like hyper stability on steroids, you know, so it's almost like you didn't really have that to me. It's tell me if I'm wrong. It's sounding like you didn't really have a solid foundation to stand on anywhere. No. So you were just kind of grinding and surviving trying to figure out what is the right move because I feel like every move I made was the wrong one. Right. So it's just kind of like I finally like set in after all that where I was like, all right, I kind of have to sit back and let them take the reins because they might not be wrong. Okay, so what age would you say that was then without software? You are we still in sophomore year? We're at the end of sophomore year. What year was this? I would would you say back 2016 2017 2017 2018 probably. Yeah, we would be in 2018 now because I started sophomore year 2017. So 2018 so that year you need to write that down on a piece of paper and burn it. That's the year to burn. Honestly, I have a question though. You're you're young. How did you get through that? So how are you so okay with it at such a young age like I'm blown away. I'm it's admirable. You know, it's it's awesome. Absolutely.

You're you're young. How did you get through that? So how are you so okay with it at such a young age like I'm blown away. I'm it's admirable. You know, it's it's awesome. Absolutely. You know, it's funny Nate asked me the same thing because I don't know. I think it was because you know, I've always kind of had to like grow up really quickly. Like when my parents went to rehab and it was just my grandparents. I always had to like make sure my sister was taken care of. She was up for school and all this other stuff. So I kind of like taught myself how to cope with things way easier than most people because I tried therapy. I tried so many therapists. They always told me that my family was crazy and I was like, thank you. I knew that but I need like actual guidance. They were like try grounding yourself. I'm like, okay, this isn't working. Seriously. They then they put me on antidepressants. Oh my god. Those things are terrible. It literally so I used to have really bad panic attacks after that whole thing happened with my dad, obviously. And so they put me on any depressants. They're like, oh this will help and I was like, okay cool. No, you can still feel yourself having a full-blown panic attack. You're just not expressing it. You're just sitting there like shaking and you're like, oh my god, but like you're like close a cucumber on the outside. But on the inside you're freaking out exactly. How long were you on an antidepressant? About six months. Then I was like, I can't do it anymore. Okay. Was it hard to go off? No. So you didn't have any physiological issues going on. I think it was because I was so on and off with it in the first place. I would purposely forget to take it. Yeah. Just because I was like, I

So you didn't have any physiological issues going on. I think it was because I was so on and off with it in the first place. I would purposely forget to take it. Yeah. Just because I was like, I want to feel something here. Yeah, absolutely. So you also growing up then played a parental role for your sister too. So you were, yeah, I mean, I'm sure you're coping. Did you have any other coping mechanisms besides when you drank alcohol and you went through period smoking weed? I don't think you, that was necessarily a coping mechanism. That was just the phase. That was a phase like in freshman year just to rebel against like the Mormon thing. And I honestly, I stopped smoking weed after I left my dad's house because I was like, I do not want to end up. I did not want to end up like him. I was like, no, hell no. I don't care if it's just weed like right. First of all, this man when I told him I smoked weed started bawling his eyes out crying on the floor and he was like, he's like, you're going to hell like you're a piece of shit. I'm like, okay, mister. Talk about mixed messages. Did you have co you must have had some coping? Mechanisms to get to get through all that. I really don't like I don't remember how I like got through it as a kid. I think it was just kind of I kind of always taught myself like push it down. Okay, and so it all comes down. That's a coping mechanism. Yeah, I would throw my temper tantrums like if I just kept pushing stuff down next thing you know, I'm blowing up just like crying and letting everybody have it and they're like, whoa. Yeah, it's the balloon. You're letting the air fill the balloon and then it pops exactly and then you start over again. It's a cycle. So and because even if we

like, whoa. Yeah, it's the balloon. You're letting the air fill the balloon and then it pops exactly and then you start over again. It's a cycle. So and because even if we mentally don't resolve things our body will one way or another something's going to happen. So whether it's we lose it or we talk about it, but something's going to happen. So that was and you were probably in fight or flight. Oh, yes of your life. Oh, yeah, always. Yeah, it was like I always had anxiety. I was never safe. Yes. Yes. Yeah, you never felt safe. So do you feel you have downshifted and you're not in fight or flight at this point in your 20s or do you still are you still trying to shake some of it off? I feel like at this point, I'm like pretty okay with with everything. I can't even like I talk about it so much that I feel like that's another coping mechanism. 100% my friends think it's hilarious that I will literally will be a drunk at a bar and I'll be like, I'm like guys, let me tell you about this one time that happened when I was five years old and they're like, you're just okay with that. They're looking at me like, Brooke, that's not okay. I'm like, it's funny, isn't it? They're like, I'm terrified of you. Well, I'm sure part of your coping was disassociating. Yeah, it was associating and laughing about it thinking it's funny when it's really not. Yeah, it's survival. It's survival. So you got through high school, graduated. I graduated a year early because I went to so many high schools. I was like, I'll take the last my last year year as my junior year. So I graduated in 2019. So after that terrible sophomore year, I finally graduated the next year and I was like, oh, that's great. I know though because it's like another high school.

year. So I graduated in 2019. So after that terrible sophomore year, I finally graduated the next year and I was like, oh, that's great. I know though because it's like another high school. You probably didn't feel completely connected to any high school where you're like, oh, I really want to go to prom or I want to attend the graduation. I was so over it as you had been bumping around so much. So you must have gotten decent grades then or test it out. So no, no, my high school. I might my GPA before I you know, my junior year was like a 2.2. Like I failed out of so many classes because again, I was skipping so much as in Fort Myers. I was like, I don't care what's happening. So what had happened was is I would stay after school and from so school ended around like 240. I would stay until about 7 p.m. and just work on schoolwork every single day and I would take all the classes that I that I failed and I'd retake them and I would but they were all online. You could just cheat in reality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's true. So mute that out. Yeah, that's a public system. So you were determined just to be done. I just wanted it over with you. And so what was your motivation to graduate so early? Did you have a next step or plan or your idea was just I got to stop I can't be doing this anymore. I can't be in high school anymore. High school was the worst years of my life. So I was just like I want this done. I'd rather be sitting at home. Yeah, yeah, going to this school every day. But right when I graduated my mom like shoved college down my throat and I was like put a pin in that right, right. We're gonna save that for a later date, but I tried to go and I failed out of my first semester of college and my mom's like, what are you doing?

a pin in that right, right. We're gonna save that for a later date, but I tried to go and I failed out of my first semester of college and my mom's like, what are you doing? And where did you go? So I go to I still go to Palm Beach State. Okay, my first year I went there and I took like the basic classes purposely failed all of them because I was like, I don't want to go to school. Yeah, I just got out of this. I don't want to do this again. My mom was pissed. So over in Fort Myers, no, no, and Palm Beach State. So I didn't know if they have different campuses. I didn't know if they had a campus over there. So okay. So you graduated and moved here. I was already here. I was at Jupiter High School when I see you were in Jupiter High School. Yeah, there's a mix there because I went back to Fort Myers. My mom wouldn't let me stay there. So she shipped me back to you. Okay. So after you left your dad's, yeah, true. We miss this. We miss the period here. So you left your dad's and you went back to Lee's in Jupiter. So you finished that you did that whole graduating early at Jupiter High School. Yeah. And then your mom wanted you to go to college. So then were you driving from Jupiter to here every day when you were doing Palm Beach State? So I went to the Palm Beach Gardens campus. Okay. And so it wasn't that terrible of a drive. But yeah, I would go there try my best. And when I kept saying I was failing, I was like, you know, what? I'm not going to I'm not going to keep doing this. So then I told my mom like I'm going to take a gap. I was like, I need a break from everything. I just want to work and figure it all out and she wasn't okay with it. And I think it was because it was also during COVID. So nobody was doing anything.

break from everything. I just want to work and figure it all out and she wasn't okay with it. And I think it was because it was also during COVID. So nobody was doing anything. Yeah, we were all just sitting around and I was like, yeah, I just want to sit around too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You deserve a break. Yeah, exactly. Quite frankly. Yeah. So did you work during COVID or I did I worked at Alehouse? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So when well in Florida opened up so quickly. So really we were you're probably just not working for what two months. Maybe. Oh, no, I still had to work. They've made you do to goes at Alehouse, but you were making such good money. Right. That you were working. So which is the Jupiter Alehouse. Okay, cool. Yeah. Okay. I forgot that we would do takeout for every. Remember that was the whole thing. Yeah. It was to help keep restaurants and business and stuff. Yeah, we participated in that. So you worked at Alehouse. Was that for like your gap year? That was like, oh, so that was for about the entire gap year. And then well, I had a boyfriend at the time and he was one of those people that was like, I'm not going to college. I don't care about school. I'm just going to work in the restaurant the rest of my life. So I think that was also the other thing that was making it. So like I didn't want to do anything else. Yeah. So I was kind of feeding off of that for a while. And then one day I just woke up like when I was still working at Alehouse, I was like, yeah, I don't want to be in the restaurant for the rest of my life. So then that's when I started going back to school taking it a little seriously. I'd only take like two classes not because I was like if I take a full load, I know I'm just going to mess something up. Yeah.

going back to school taking it a little seriously. I'd only take like two classes not because I was like if I take a full load, I know I'm just going to mess something up. Yeah. So then I just started taking like basic classes past him. Felt great and he would always be like the one that's like you're what's wrong. Like you men being men at that age. Yes. Yes. Being like you are making it seem like I need to go to school now. I'm like, I don't care what you do. It's his own issue. Yeah. I was like, that's your problem. I don't care. Well, he was threatened because you were starting to do something to better your life. So it threatened him. Exactly. Because he knows either it's making him feel insecure about what he's not doing and also he's scared. He's going to lose you. Exactly. So that's where that came from. Oh my god. And then he always thought I was cheating on him. Yeah. And I was like, dude, what? And he was like, you're cheating on me with someone at your restaurant job. I'm like, no. Well, didn't he work? Oh, he didn't work there. Okay, so two different restaurants. Yeah. And it was him like showing up to my rest showing up to ale house sitting in a booth watching me work and then like also driving by my house to make sure that my car was in the driveway like crazy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I think that also was another thing that made my trust issues even worse with men. I was like, you're really giving me a number over here again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a lot because up until then. Had you was he your first boyfriend? I had one when I was in Fort Myers like my freshman year of high school, but it was like freshman year of high school. It was like nothing. So he was your first real serious boyfriend.

I had one when I was in Fort Myers like my freshman year of high school, but it was like freshman year of high school. It was like nothing. So he was your first real serious boyfriend. Yeah, that was like the first one because my first boyfriend, we were dating for six months and he moved all the way to Washington and we tried to make it work. It was the funniest thing. Yeah, I think it's hilarious because you're what like 14 really get much further away. Literally. I still make fun of myself. Like wow, yeah, but at 14, I was also Mormon, which was crazy. So I was making my parents proud. Yeah. Did they know he was more men? Your mom? No, my mom hated him. She was like, he's a weed smoker. I'm like, yeah, I'm warming weed, but he's Mormon. Yeah, I was like mom, but Mormon. Okay. But wait, during that time, your sister was still living in Fort Myers and going to school in Fort Myers. Yeah, she didn't come to Jupiter until her I want to see senior year of high school. So how was your relationship during those years? Oh, Rocky. Oh, my sister and I have always had a rocky relationship because we're half sisters and she thinks that that matters. I was like, dude, you've been in my life since you were born. Yeah, I was like, you're my sister sister. I don't care if you're half. Where do you think that came from with her? Like that somebody put that in her head. Do you think when she was young, she's always just been the type of like person. It's like her opinion is what matters. Like that is the right thing, right? Still to this day. She's just a stubborn girl. Yeah. So I think just whenever she found out that we weren't biological sisters, but you are we are. Yeah, but I mean like a full biological. I was like, how do I say this? Yeah, she would just

Yeah. So I think just whenever she found out that we weren't biological sisters, but you are we are. Yeah, but I mean like a full biological. I was like, how do I say this? Yeah, she would just took that and ran with it. She's like, oh, I don't have a sister. That's my half sister. And I was like, even though you had spent a good part of your life helping raise her. Yeah. So she always thinks that I was like, you know, the evil one, like I'm just as bad as the parents are. I'm like, oh, Carol, listen. So what age did that click for her where she made that decision that you're not her real sister? How old were you when that happened? She had to be like 12. She was about to go into like her eighth grade year of middle school. So I was sophomore. Yeah, my son. Yeah, it's just like sophomore year. It's just like four years. It was terrible. Oh my goodness. It's that sophomore year. You had so much happen to you that year. Don't even get me started when I when I moved to my dad's house. He literally sent me this disgusting paragraph being like you're a disgrace to the family. Mom doesn't love you anymore. Like you just you just really threw away your entire family for someone that was never there for you. And I'm like sitting there like oh my goodness. Yeah. Wow. She she also has her own issues. She doesn't know who her dad is. Yeah. My mom also told my my sister for the longest time that Lee was her real dad. And when my grandparents, unfortunately broke that news without my mom being there, my sister absolutely went apeshit. Of course. Oh my god. So how old was she when that happened? I want to say she was, you know, 11 or 12. So this all this all exploded. Yeah, right. So your grandparents told her without your mom there or

Oh my god. So how old was she when that happened? I want to say she was, you know, 11 or 12. So this all this all exploded. Yeah, right. So your grandparents told her without your mom there or your mom's consent. Yeah, was your mom in rehab during this time? No, just out of town at one of her jobs and they just decided do you know what their motivation? Now's a good time. They hate Lee. They hated him for the longest time. Do they still hate him? No, now they love him and I'm like, those are just some rocky years for Lee. I don't know how he stayed. Hell of a guy. I was thinking I want to help a guy. Shout out to Lee. He's like the best stepdad now. I actually do like oh my goodness. So she was lashing out because her whole world collapsed. Yeah, everything kind of came at one time and she was like, oh, so both of you were having a major stuff. Yeah, and then your mom's traveling, right? She's doing what she needs to do to keep her life together. But she's also not completely present with you guys and the people that are want you to be Mormon. Exactly. And so yeah, shout out to Lee because at least when you were with him, even if you didn't like those years, he was stable. Yeah, he was stable. So okay, so you so she moves over. Why did she move over? Did they get back together? My mom kind of said like, oh, she to be honest, she kind of went through the same thing. I went through she was just kind of being a teenager. She's going out sneaking out doing all these crazy things. My mom's like, no, both of you girls are in one house so we can supervise you were like Lee's always home. Right. You're not getting anything past that guy. Right, right, right. And they're still on and off. No, at this point, they've been pretty

can supervise you were like Lee's always home. Right. You're not getting anything past that guy. Right, right, right. And they're still on and off. No, at this point, they've been pretty steady like after that like like when she got out of rehab, that was the last time they were on and off for like about a year and then they finally said, all right, we're back together. Does she does your mom live in Jupiter then? Now she lives in Jupiter. So yeah, so your sister, she sent him your sister to Lee for stability and you were still living there then. So you guys were back in the same house for the first time in what five years or five years. And how did that go? Oh my god, it was a shit show at first. I hated her like being around all the time. I was like, she's also just so dramatic and I was like so used to me just being like the only child over there. I was like, this is great. I can do whatever I want. Yeah, and then you come around and now I have rules because you're around. Right. What? And you were done with school by then, right? So you're working at Ale House or going to Palm Beach State. She's there. How long did it stay that way until your mom moved over or so my mom was kind of like in between houses at that point where she would be in Fort Myers like one week and then she'll be in Jupiter the next week. So we got to see her a good amount of times, but this is like right around the time where her work sked like load picked up and she was traveling like a whole bunch like she'd be home like once a weekend, maybe. Yeah, and it took us a while to get used to that. But like now that it's all like the dust has settled and we're used to it. It's like nothing has ever been right, you know different, right, right, right.

while to get used to that. But like now that it's all like the dust has settled and we're used to it. It's like nothing has ever been right, you know different, right, right, right. So so she then is with you guys in Jupiter and you guys are all together. Yeah. How did your grandparents handle that? They didn't they didn't mind it. They missed the company, of course. Yeah, and so they they would always call us and be like, when are you going to come and see us again? It's like, yeah, soon. Yeah, once I moved away from Fort Myers, I had no interest to go back to Fort Myers except for Sammy because she lives over there still. Yeah. So once we moved though, I was like, yeah, kind of over it. Yeah, don't really love it. The last time you've been back over there. I was there last weekend. Was it was it kind of a surreal thing rolling into town and being like just awkward? It kind of is sometimes because it's like I have so much. I just remember all the crazy things. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yikes. Yeah, I can imagine. So then how long were the four of you in the same home? Would you say so it was probably 20 so like COVID pretty much like COVID hit all of us were in the same house. My it was also the time my parents were getting like their bathrooms and kitchen redone and it was just madness. Yeah, my sisters like over there just complaining that she's stuck inside. I'm playing video games all the time. I'm getting my Wi-Fi shut off and I'm screaming at Lee again. One big happy family at the time. I mean, I can't imagine that you guys have had all this stuff go on and then now it's all come back full circle. You're living together again for the first time all four of you and it's COVID. Yeah, it was stuck and then

have had all this stuff go on and then now it's all come back full circle. You're living together again for the first time all four of you and it's COVID. Yeah, it was stuck and then you're saying they're doing house renovations. It was like madness. Yeah, did after that. Did your mom try to read parent in a sense that had to have happened right where she tried to be mom again and you had kind of moved past that in some ways, right? You had some it was on it was kind of like that. I should say like the one thing that I will say still to this day. My parents will apologize time and time again for my childhood and everything that I went through and they always say like if I could take it back if I could do this different like I would and so my mom I want to say in the last like five six years now, she's like tried to step up and be like the best parent and she has I'm not gonna lie. She's definitely made like a complete 180 with that one. So I'm very happy that that's wonderful. Yeah, that's wonderful because for a lot of people that go through hard times in their childhood, they never get that apology ever. I mean, you know, you'll never get it from your dad. Oh, no, no, you might you might you're young maybe you might but you know, it may not come. I wouldn't I wouldn't hold out hope but no, I'm not betting on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but that's wonderful that that happened for you and and also, I mean and for her, you know, speaking as a parent, I'm sure she's very grateful that you guys are still in her life and talk to her and want to have a relationship with her because when you look as a parent, you know, when you make mistakes you it's terrifying if you think it could cause your children to want to be estranged from you. Exactly.

her because when you look as a parent, you know, when you make mistakes you it's terrifying if you think it could cause your children to want to be estranged from you. Exactly. So that's for a while. Yeah, of course, of course. So has she been sober since rehab? Oh, yeah, both my my stepdad and my mom my stepdad's I think he's going on 15 years. My mom's going on 10 this year. Wow. I want to say so that's amazing. I know that's amazing. Nothing. No, no weed. No drinking. Nothing. They're they're they're guilty pleasures Monster Energy drinks and I think it's the cutest thing. Monster Energy drinks and like San Pellegrino. Do they do anything that that help keep them sober? Like I don't know not AA but like people will do things as a diversion. That's almost as addictive. Are they or they just kind of is it normal type of thing? I think for my mom and I'm just going to say this as my opinion here. She works so much that that's like her bread and butter. Yeah, she loves the tea at work. Oh my gosh. She goes crazy for it. She's also now over the last couple years just like because she's a boss now. She just got a promotion recently. Well, she switched companies, but she just like loves running her like little area of expertise. She's like, I'm the boss now. This is I've worked my way from washing hair to like being in the cabinet industry and like making these cabinets, which is cool. That's amazing. I know. Yeah, because a lot of times and speaking is because we're not 100% sober, but we made a huge shift a couple years ago and a lot of times when you like to enjoy something or have an addictive personality, what you change to also you become addicted to, you know, like Brian loves cold plunging or exercise. We love exercise, but then

like to enjoy something or have an addictive personality, what you change to also you become addicted to, you know, like Brian loves cold plunging or exercise. We love exercise, but then we were like we have to do it. Yeah, so I think once you have that addictive personality, that's why it's important to try to find healthy things. You're going to be into it just as much. So if you can find that outlet, that's not destructive. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure for your mom, it's working. Yeah, which she's been very good at and successful and crazy and very fulfilling for her. So that's awesome. It's so crazy to watch that though. Like see my mom literally go from nothing to like this huge boss all of a sudden. I'm like, what? Amazing. Yeah, that is amazing. It's very very cool. It is really cool. Yeah, no and you and your sister, you guys still butt heads a little bit or? I just think that at this point into sisters being sisters. It's not as bad like she calls me sissy now. Like she actually does know that I'm her sister and she's not as much of an asshole. Okay, that's good. That's good. Well, how old would she be right now? She's 21 now. Okay. Yeah, so she's still young. Yeah. So after covid, did you stay there or did you move somewhere else? I'm trying to think so. That's 2020 2021 ish. So I ended up quitting Alehouse because my ex-boyfriend's sister started working at Alehouse. Oh, wait. Did you break up with the boy the crazy boy? No, I was still with him at this point in covid. Okay. Yeah, we were going on like two years crazy. I know. Okay, regret that one too. We all have those and so I quit Alehouse because his sister started working there and I just couldn't take it anymore. She was like one of those very toxic people like it's my show

We all have those and so I quit Alehouse because his sister started working there and I just couldn't take it anymore. She was like one of those very toxic people like it's my show like you're just like a extra in it, right? But is this the I'm sorry. Is this the guy that was driving by your house? It's his sister. It's his sister. So you guys did break up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay. Yeah, I started working at the restaurant, but it's it's her so it's your boyfriend's sister. Yeah, so she's there and she's making my life health. Okay. Okay. Sorry. I'm gonna get a new job. And so one of my friends that I knew was like, hey, my brother works at this place called jetties. You should go apply there. I was like, okay, word like I'll go and give it a shot. Yeah, and I got hired on the spot and I was like, oh cool. I this like my breakaway from Alehouse and is it a restaurant? Yeah. Okay, cool. It's really it's really nice over there. I like it. It's in Jupiter though. I still make that hike. It's crazy. But um, and so I start working there and like everything's fine. We're still dating and then it was like I think my 20th birthday. We all went to like me and a whole bunch of my friends and two, um, universal for the weekend and we're obviously drinking and we're having fun. He was like the sober Sally though. He was like, oh my mom's an alcoholic and like you're not allowed to drink because my mom's an alcoholic. I was like, listen, my mom is next alcoholic. Okay. Yeah. And you've been together so long now. I know. I was like, is this a new thing? He decided to bring into your relationship. This was like ongoing for years at this point. I never really drink though until I turned 20. Okay.

I know. I was like, is this a new thing? He decided to bring into your relationship. This was like ongoing for years at this point. I never really drink though until I turned 20. Okay. Because I was just like, oh, I'm almost 21. Why not? And so we were drinking and he was screaming at me in front of everybody and I will never forget this one day. We were all waking up nice and early to go to universal. He's downstairs screaming at me at 8 a.m. Being like you're hungover. You're a drunk. You're a piece of shit. Da da da da da. And I know I was just sitting there like, okay, buddy, you want to play? And I started barking back at all my friends like Brooke, stop like, yeah, get it together. Yeah. And after that, it was just kind of like I knew it was over like I was like, I'm over it. I don't want to be with somebody that this that did you end it right then. No, I think it lasted like another like six months. And I finally just like dude, I can't okay. Can't do this anymore. Yeah, he just kept getting progressively worse. Yeah. And I was he sounds like he was very controlling. Oh my god. Yeah, like none other like he would text my mom and be like, hey, can I come sleep over because my mom kicked me out? That didn't happen. Right. Like he would just always need to be the amount of times I would get off of work and he'd be in my bed without me knowing and just be like, I wanted to surprise you and I was like, get out at your house where your parents are. Yeah, I was like, get out. How did they feel about him? My mom always had like a rocky feeling about him. She was like, sometimes he's so nice, but then he's like so hot and cold. Like I don't yeah, she was always just kind of like I'm not comfortable with him always being here

She was like, sometimes he's so nice, but then he's like so hot and cold. Like I don't yeah, she was always just kind of like I'm not comfortable with him always being here and I'm like, that's fine. Yeah, very toxic. Very very toxic. How did he handle you ending things? Oh my god. It was like the end of the world. He just looked at me and he was like, he was like, oh, you'll be back. I was like, for sure. And then did he keep coming around and texting me like asking my friends about me, ask my parents about me, which is crazy. I was like, yeah, and then I remember I tried to rekindle things with him again. I was like, all right, we'll give it another shot. Maybe a month after we broke up, right? Yeah, and he went through my Apple watch and showed my mom all the text messages that I had to voice over the last month and said, your daughter's a whore and just dropped my Apple watch. And my friend texted me and said, did you cheat on him? And I was like, never. I was like, I've never cheated on him. And he was like, then what's this? And he sent him screenshots of like the text messages. Yeah, and I texted him. I go, if I ever see your face again, I'm gonna freak out like you were so done. And that was the last time I ever spoke to him. That's crazy that he had the balls to show your mom that. I know. Oh my God. That was so awkward. I get home and my mom's like, we need to have a talk. I'm like, yeah, but hopefully she said our talk is going to be you never go near this kid. It was. It was. Yeah, it was. Yeah. I'm really sorry that we have to talk about this and other half was don't don't go near him. Like he's bad news. Right. Oh my goodness. So he was done. Yeah, you're working in jetties. And what was your next move after that?

about this and other half was don't don't go near him. Like he's bad news. Right. Oh my goodness. So he was done. Yeah, you're working in jetties. And what was your next move after that? Like you're still living at home. I'm living at home and I'm just trying to like figure out what I want to kind of do with my life at that point. I was like, I could go to the business route. I could go to this nursing thing. I don't know. I'm just kind of taking classes and then that's when I met Alex and how did you guys meet from jetties? He worked there with me. Okay. Yeah. And so for the first year, it was funny when I first started working there, my managers made an announcement that I wasn't allowed to be hit on by any of the men that were working there. I thought that was hilarious because I was freshly. I think it was just 19 at the time. Oh my goodness. And then everybody was like, oh, well, why not? And they were like, she has a serious boyfriend. Okay, do not ruin that. And I was like, please just like, yeah, stop. Like, it's not great. Right, right, right. And then I don't even really the Christmas party happened at jetties, which got a little crazy. Everybody just got really drunk as happens at work parties. Yeah, it's a bar too. Yeah, exactly. We were at a bar and it was just like and then one thing led to another and we started dating. It was kind of crazy. That's cool. So that was how many years ago? Three years now. Wow. You guys have been together a long time. So he lived in Jupiter. No, he lived in a point in the whole time and he was driving up to Jupiter. Wow. Yeah for work. So where do you live now? I live in now. We live in Delray. Okay. Yeah, you're close. Yeah. So you're living a home in Jupiter and

and he was driving up to Jupiter. Wow. Yeah for work. So where do you live now? I live in now. We live in Delray. Okay. Yeah, you're close. Yeah. So you're living a home in Jupiter and was he living in his own place in point and you guys are both working at jetties. And did you go back to school or yeah? I was kind of like doing the thing that I always was doing was taking two classes trying it out seeing what's happening. Yeah, and then it's going from there and then around I want to say it was like April of like so now we're in 2022. Yeah. My stepdad like so I got home from Alex's house for the weekend like I went back home and my stepdad just was like in a like a little mood you could tell and he was like you didn't clean your litter box like your cast litter box. Like okay, like I'll get it done. He was like, I don't like your attitude. What did I say? You didn't clean your litter your cats litter box all weekend. What is that's not my responsibility and I was like, okay ends up turning into this huge fight and he kicks me out and he goes you're gonna have to figure it out like get out of my house. So I literally within the next hour pack up all of my stuff into my car and I just drive and I call my friend. I'm like, hey just got kicked out. She's like go to my house. You can live with me. So what what what what like? Did something lead to that? No, the litter box has you been spending more and more time at Alex's? Yeah, but Lee's biggest thing was let me know where you are and when you're going to be home and I don't care and I told him every single day was like, hey, I'm staying the night. Hey, I'm staying the night and he was like, okay, no problem. I think he just had like a bad day at

him every single day was like, hey, I'm staying the night. Hey, I'm staying the night and he was like, okay, no problem. I think he just had like a bad day at work or something and then the litter box was like the last straw was like the last straw and so and you're like fine. I've been through this before. I was like, yeah. We're going to retract the shout out to Leon. He'll recover as we go. He might recover. Okay. Okay, so you went to your friend's house and it was it was like a very like I was I knew I was going to move out soon. Like I just had like an inkling that like this was going to happen or I was going to take the reins and just leave and so when I moved out for the first time, I finally felt like everything in my life was going. Okay, I didn't talk to Lee for a while. I'm not gonna lie, like probably a month. I was just like, I'm over you. My mom, she didn't know about this either. My mom was out of town. She calls me freaking out. What do you mean? You're you left like all your stuff just out of the house. I'm like, hey, I you told me to go. I'm not scared to go anymore. Okay, I'm an adult. Yeah, I can do this and she was like, well, you're going to come home and we're going to have a chat like we can have a chat. I'm out like I'm not coming back. No, it's also I'm sure in some ways whether it's consciously or subconsciously. Triggered old wounds and had to have because this is the first time I've been kicked out right and so it's like look I trusted you guys and you've broken my trust exactly and I don't it's not a safe space right now for me because I can't I'm not going to go back when now I can't trust you're not going to do this again exactly. How many times can someone be put through

don't it's not a safe space right now for me because I can't I'm not going to go back when now I can't trust you're not going to do this again exactly. How many times can someone be put through something like that by a parental figure? I've kind of like been I'm like at the I was at that point I should say where I was like you guys keep kicking me out. What's the end goal going to be? I'm gonna end up having to be fully out anyway. So why not just stay out? Yeah, now I don't blame you. Because they were begging me to come back home. They were like, no, I didn't mean it. I was just having a bad day. I'm like, I don't care. Yeah. I don't care. Especially considering the history. There's certain things, especially if you know the history, you just don't go there. Exactly. Because if you do, there's gonna be consequences. Exactly, and that was my whole view on it. And so, but-- Where did you live then? West Palm Beach. I lived with-- By yourself? With my friend, no. I moved into her apartment with her boyfriend and her dad was living there. And it was pretty, it was decent for a while. And then-- So her dad and you and her lived together. And her boyfriend, yeah. And her boyfriend. He was there too. Okay. And you know, it was a great time. I was never really there though, because I was always at Alex's house at that point. I'm like, nobody can tell me when I come home. That's right. You didn't have to tell anybody where you're going. Exactly. Yeah. And she liked it. She says it still to the stage. She's like, you were the best roommate ever. Never there. Yeah. Everything was always clean. You paid me rent way before time. Right, did your cat go with you? No, he had to stay there because she has a pit bull. And that wouldn't have been good for me. No, no, no.

Everything was always clean. You paid me rent way before time. Right, did your cat go with you? No, he had to stay there because she has a pit bull. And that wouldn't have been good for me. No, no, no. Is your cat still alive? Yeah, he's still at my mom's house. He still lives there. So you get to see him when you go home. Yeah, my mom won't let me take him. I've asked and she's like, that's my cat. Yeah, that makes sense. So you're living with your friend, mainly in Alex's. Still working at Jenny's and going to school. Now at that point, did you know what you were going to school for? You were just doing prerequisites. I knew nursing was like my end goal at this point. I was starting to take the prereqs for it. And Alex being in college also and seeing how hard he was working really pushed me to like the next level. And I was like, all right, I can't do this. And then I started taking more classes. Then I was taking four classes. I was like, whoa, who's this person? Yeah, right. Were you going to school or was it online? I did half online, half in person. And where was he going to school? UCF. So did online or did he go up to Orlando? He did online and he had to go to Orlando like once a week to go to one class or something. Okay, crazy. I know he hated it. With like an attendance maybe. Literally. At least it's only two and a half hours. It's not Tallahassee. I guess it could be worse. It could be worse. That ride though is. Yeah, but still. It does. It does, we've done it so many times. Okay, so you're now nursing. Did you know what kind of nurse you wanted to be? I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse for the longest time. I was like, that sounds cool. Babies, I don't have to see any of the really gross stuff.

of nurse you wanted to be? I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse for the longest time. I was like, that sounds cool. Babies, I don't have to see any of the really gross stuff. I just have to watch, I guess birth. It can be gross. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Trust me, I changed my mind real quick when I saw it for the first time. And it can be sad too. It's beautiful and it's also very sad sometimes. I just couldn't take it. So I was like, you know what, we'll figure it out. Yeah, yeah. So do you know what you're doing right now with nursing? Are you still in school right now for nursing? So how much longer do you have? So I have a year. I start like official nursing school in hopefully June if I get in. This June? Yeah. That's exciting. I know, I worked my butt off and finally, hopefully it's bang off. I just gotta take those tests. Wow, that is so cool. And do you know now what kind of nurse you wanna be or where you wanna be working? I kind of had the idea because I work at Wellington right now in the ICU. So I see worse than labor and delivery, right? And I love it. I eat it up every day. Like I think it's like, you just learn so much on that floor. There's nothing you really can't learn. Every day is different. Every day is different. Some days are terrible where you're just like, you don't sit for 12 hours and the other days I'm sitting and I'm just waiting for something to happen which sounds bad, but like, you're always on edge though in the ICU. You're just waiting for something to go wrong. And that sounds bad, but it's like you're in such critical condition up there. You deal with the worst of the worst. Are they like a level one or I don't know the designation. They're not a trauma hospital, no. But sometimes they take trauma.

critical condition up there. You deal with the worst of the worst. Are they like a level one or I don't know the designation. They're not a trauma hospital, no. But sometimes they take trauma. Like if it's the worst case scenario and no other hospital can take them, they'll take them. But they ship immediately to JFK. They're like, all right, we'll get you stabilized and then we'll ship. That's like our local hospital here. Yeah. If you like ICU like that, have you thought about being a trauma nurse? I thought about it. I just, I would have to start working at Delray which I've heard is like a decent hospital. So I've been debating on moving it over because now that we moved to Delray, it's right around the corner from my house instead of now Wellington being 35 minutes away. And waking up at like 5 a.m. to have to go to work is like. It's like Mormon school. (both laughing) It's like my, my bear's. It takes a very special person to be a trauma nurse. And just from what I'm hearing you say, you have some of that in you. So it's definitely something, my dad was a trauma doctor. It's definitely something, yeah, something to consider because I'm talking about exciting. I know. Would you ever consider becoming a doctor? Is that an interest? If anything, a nurse practitioner or like a PA or something like that, I don't think I could be a doctor doctor. Not because I don't think I'm smart enough. I think it's because, you know, I don't wanna be like $500,000 in debt with school. My aunt, she was an ER doctor and she told me she's like $350,000 in debt. She was like, it'd take forever to pay this off. Well nowadays I think nurse practitioners get more action even, you know, like they're busy. And it's almost as much school I think,

She was like, it'd take forever to pay this off. Well nowadays I think nurse practitioners get more action even, you know, like they're busy. And it's almost as much school I think, or it's a lot of school. It's six years, yeah. Yeah, so we'll let her get in as a nurse first to decide if she wants to. We'll rock and roll with this for a little while. Yeah, so then nursing school, that would be in June. And then how long do you attend nursing school? Until, so it would be a full year. So it would be a full year of school, which is gonna suck. But, you know, gotta grind through it. It's 40 hours a week, which is also crazy. Wow. Plus don't you have, aren't you working a job or two still? I'm working two jobs right now too, so. So what are you doing? I work at, so I work at the ICU in the hospital and then I work at Jetty's still as a bartender and server, so. What's so interesting about that is both of those jobs are giving of yourself to people, but in two completely different ways. It's exhausting. You have got to be exhausted. Always. Because you're always taking care of someone, whether it's behind the bar or as a server or in an ICU. I mean, do you take time for yourself and prioritize any self care? Yes and no. Alex just said this yesterday. I was like, I'm gonna go get my nails done. And then he was like, okay, go have fun. And then I was like, no, I'm not doing it. And he sent me money. He's like, please go. Go take care of yourself for once. And so then I went, I was like, wow, that's really nice. So I need to start doing it. Yes, you do. And at this age, if you can start making that a priority, because if you end up having a family and all that, it's the one thing as women we put on the back burner,

Yes, you do. And at this age, if you can start making that a priority, because if you end up having a family and all that, it's the one thing as women we put on the back burner, if you can incorporate that now with how crazy your life is now, then you'll be able to hold onto it, even if it's once a month. Exactly. Go get a massage or go have coffee alone where there's no noise, just something. It's important to keep that balance, especially right now. Now it sounds like Alex is very supportive. Very. And he knows all about your history. Oh yeah, we bonded over that because he's been through the wringer himself. Okay. Yeah. So he understands. We kind of trauma bonded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's interesting, because I also have a similar, not similar, but a traumatic childhood. But what's funny about Brian is he didn't. And so you would never think that that would work, because I always thought I would end up with someone who had a similar, I would trauma bond with someone. So that makes more sense to me. Exactly. But because they get it. You don't even have to explain. It's amazing because your trauma, and I'm not diminishing it, so don't give me shit later. I'm committed. But you've got a story. Oh, for sure. My gosh. For sure. I'm really proud of you, to be honest with you. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Because now you're, so wait, what's the step from, you were living with your friend, and then, but now you're living with us. So what happened there? So I was always just at Alex's house, and then one day he was just like, you wanna move in together? I mean, you're always here. There's no point in paying two separate rents. And it kind of all worked out, because then he got a really good, his sister needed a place to move into,

I mean, you're always here. There's no point in paying two separate rents. And it kind of all worked out, because then he got a really good, his sister needed a place to move into, so her stepdad was like, here, you can stay in this house, and we'll charge you like $6.50 a month for rent. Wow, geez. And we're like, that's amazing. So he was like, you can move in here, and just pay $6.50, call it a day. So that's exactly what we did. And then she was sad to see me go. And then my friend, she was like, we were never really roommates. Yeah. (both laughing) Your stuff was here, but you weren't. Yeah, and then now you guys have your own place in Delray? So, and how long have you been there? We just moved there in October. And is that your first time where it's a place you two picked out together? It's just us two, yeah. And how's that going? It's going really well, actually. I thought at first it was gonna be a shit show, because it's a 780 square foot apartment. Right. It's pretty small. And I was like, that's a lot of, that's close at all times. And I'm like the type of person I need my space. He's the same way. And so I thought we were gonna just butt heads all the time. But no, he shuts the door when he plays video games and I can sit on the couch in peace. That's perfect. That's awesome. That's perfect. And it sounds like you guys really understand what each of you needs, because you both kind of need the same thing. Yeah. So you don't have to explain it to him and he doesn't have to explain it to you. That's huge. At first when I was younger, because when we started dating, I was 20. So he was like, he had explained it to me. And he's like, okay, listen, if we're gonna make this work, I need my Sundays. Sundays are for football

because when we started dating, I was 20. So he was like, he had explained it to me. And he's like, okay, listen, if we're gonna make this work, I need my Sundays. Sundays are for football and the boys, that's it. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, okay, that's fine. I got it. What's your age difference? It's four years. So he's 28 and I'm 23, about to turn 24. So yeah. I mean, just being able to have that communication so early is so vital. And it could be because you both have already been through so much, you're like, I'm not afraid to speak up. I'm gonna stay what I need, because I don't have time to kind of like put up with stuff. I've already put up with enough. Exactly. It took me, it's still like to this day, I'm like the worst person to be like, like if I have a problem, I'll still push it down. And Alex would be like, tell me please for the love of God. Just tell me what's wrong. I'm like, no, it's fine, everything's fine. Do you have tells where he knows like certain things where he's like, okay, something's going on. If I'm super quiet, he's like, oh no. Cause I talk a lot. Right, right. So that's something you still have an impact. So, and that can, I can tell you for myself, really I spent good part of my thirties and forties trying to impact some stuff and really just settled it like maybe five years ago. You won't take that long, but once you unpack it, you realize, wow, I was holding onto a lot. You don't know you are until all of a sudden you're not carrying it anymore. And you're like, oh, yeah. And it'll just happen one day. You'll just decide to, you know, and you're probably doing it piece by piece. Yeah. Every year. I've been realizing that I've been getting better with just like talking what's on my mind. And he's like so funny.

and you're probably doing it piece by piece. Yeah. Every year. I've been realizing that I've been getting better with just like talking what's on my mind. And he's like so funny. He's like, there's nothing you can be embarrassed about in this relationship. We've told each other like our horror stories. Right. And he was like, I'm here for you. You're here for me. And like, that's it. I used to get so embarrassed if I'd like, if I said something out of place, he was like, why are you embarrassed? Like you're fine. And I'm like, oh no, well, I had that toxic relationship. I was like, if I spoke out of place, oh God. Right. Well, and for your childhood, there was just so much upheaval. And at times rejection when you're kicked out and then your dad was such a disappointment. So it sounds like Alex is really the first male in your life that you've ever been able to 100% trust with your heart. Yeah. And he's a safe place. Yeah, exactly. You know, even though Lee's great. Yeah, Lee's great. He's bad. But then he even had his moments. And not that Alex isn't going to, but it sounds like he's given you that place. Exactly. And then, but when you've gone through a lot growing up, it takes a long time to trust that and to really hand over your stuff. It took me a long time to trust Alex. Cause I heard frat boy and I was like, oh God. Right. (both laughing) Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No, and you just, it takes so long to, you also trust they're not gonna leave. Exactly. That was the biggest thing. I'm 20, you're 25, I'm 24, 25 at the time. I was like, you could find anybody. Okay. Right, yes. Yeah. And then having some abandonment probably issues too. Now, and I don't know if you did this, but I know with Brian, like I would test him, you know,

Okay. Right, yes. Yeah. And then having some abandonment probably issues too. Now, and I don't know if you did this, but I know with Brian, like I would test him, you know, or I would almost like start to sabotage things. Cause I'm like, well, you're gonna leave anyways. And it takes a while to realize, no, you're not. You're actually gonna stay and trust in that. I feel like there's a couple of times where I would just like really test the waters and see like how much he actually like wanted to be with me. And then we'd always get into a fight and I'd be like, oh, why did I do that? Yeah, yeah, no, but it's like learning and all that. Now I feel like I remember, I don't know if Nathan told me, but were you diagnosed with diabetes? So was that sophomore year? I know, I was thinking the same thing. No, no, it was thankfully. Oh my gosh. Actually crazy thing was right when my mom got out of rehab probably like two months later, I got diagnosed with diabetes and my mom was like, oh. So were you having symptoms? So they thought I had mono. They swore left and right that I had mono. They're like, oh, it's normal in kids, whatever. Like no big deal. So they ran a whole bunch of blood work and my blood sugar was like crazy. It was like 400 or something like that. And they were like, okay, we're gonna bring it back in. We're gonna rerun it, see if it was just a malfunction or something. It was even higher than, and then they pretty much looked at me and they're like, okay, so this could be an overactive thyroid or you're a diabetic. And I was like, oh, cool, cool. So then I got shipped to the hospital where they put me on an insulin drip and they just like pretty much were like, we're gonna just run some tests,

And I was like, oh, cool, cool. So then I got shipped to the hospital where they put me on an insulin drip and they just like pretty much were like, we're gonna just run some tests, really make sure like we know what we're seeing here is true. And then we'll get back to you. And they kept you at the hospital though. For a week. Then like, I think it was day two or day three of me being in the hospital. The doctor comes in with like the nurse practitioner and they're like looking at me. They're like, so it's not the thyroid disease, it's diabetes. And I just remember my mom looking at me being like, it's okay. And I looked at the doctor and like, okay, I'm gonna kill myself then. And then the doctor was like, okay, no, you can't say that. Yeah, we can't let you leave now. I know she's like, well, you're stuck here now. And so I was like screaming and crying and they were like, you gotta calm down. And then the doctor was like, put her in a wheelchair, take her outside, let her get some fresh air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I came back in and I was like, well, this is my life, I guess. So what were your, were you just exhausted? Was that the main thing? I couldn't get out of bed. I was peeing like crazy. My body was actually like aching at all times. I'm like, I feel so old, I'm 14. And had that happened before that? So it was an onset at that time. Is it considered type one or type two then? Type one. Okay. Because it just, so with type one, sometimes it just takes a long time for your pancreas to actually finally fully shut off. And then with type two, it just like, it still gives you insulin, just not enough for the upkeep. So is that genetic? Does anyone else in your family? My dad's side of the family has type one diabetes. Did you know that?

it still gives you insulin, just not enough for the upkeep. So is that genetic? Does anyone else in your family? My dad's side of the family has type one diabetes. Did you know that? No, at the time I didn't. And the best part is, is my mom called my dad and was like, hey, so I just want to let you know, like Brooke has diabetes and he goes, okay. And I was like, well, can you come see me? He was like, yeah, if I have time. And I was like, okay, so I'd call him every day and I'd be like, come see me, come see me, not once. And then he just called me when I got out and he was like, sorry, kid, just got so busy. This was before you lived with him, right? Yeah, this was before. This is, how old, 14, right? Yeah, I was 14, yeah. So then you needed to start giving yourself shots and learn and doing all that. You pretty much have to relearn the way to live again. And it was kind of crazy because the doctor, she was like, before you leave, you're going to have to give yourself an insulin shot. I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. She was like, well then you're going to be here for another week. I'm like, no, no, no, no. So then I gave myself an insulin shot and she literally discharged me within the hour. I was like, cool. So for people listening that are curious how diabetes changes your life and you said you had to relearn how to live, can you explain a little more on that? Yeah, so pretty much every food label you look at is like your kind of like guideline of like the type of, like the amount of insulin you need to take. So if I like look at, for an example, a gallon of milk, it's going to be like 12 carbs per like eight fluid ounces or something like that. So then you have to take whatever your insulin regimen

So if I like look at, for an example, a gallon of milk, it's going to be like 12 carbs per like eight fluid ounces or something like that. So then you have to take whatever your insulin regimen is for that 12 carbs. Okay. And then you also have to take into account fiber. Fiber is another one that you would subtract a point for how much fiber is like in that product. And it was just all this math at all times, but I've had it for, this is my 10th year having it. And it's like, it's like the back of my head now. Like I just look at a label and like, yeah, I got this. So what about when you go out to eat? So now I have like a insulin pump and I have a continuous glucose monitor. So I just type everything into my little, Oh wow, that's cool. My diabetes phone. I just type it in there and it gives me insulin. Don't even have to poke myself anymore. And so do you have to watch what you eat at all or can you just do whatever you want? You get to live. That's crazy. You can drink alcohol and do it. So it just takes care of it. Yeah, it kind of, well, when you drink alcohol, you just got to make sure that your blood sugar doesn't crash cause that happens. Because you know, alcohol is always going to lower your blood sugar and then you're going to get shaky. That's not what you want. Initially you'll spike it, right? Yeah, it goes up and it just crashes hard. I think that happens even when you're not diabetic, right? That's just something to happen. Cause I know we've woken up shaky before with my blood sugar down. It's partly why as you get older, it's harder to, the hangovers hit you worse. That's what happens, you crash harder. Yeah, exactly. So was it hard when you got diagnosed and was this when you were in Fort Myers?

it's harder to, the hangovers hit you worse. That's what happens, you crash harder. Yeah, exactly. So was it hard when you got diagnosed and was this when you were in Fort Myers? Of course. Yeah, going to school, was it hard socially at all? Did it spill into your social life or? At first I took it really hard and I was just like, everybody's gonna make fun of me. And they did, high school was fun. Like the first, my freshman year was just like, everybody called me Captain Diabido. Seriously? Yeah, it was kind of funny. Now it's hilarious, but back then I was like, you guys suck. So how did they know? Because you'd have to go to the office. Because I'd have to go to the nurse's office and give myself an insulin shot. And they would always just like see me walking there. They're like, yeah, go take your insulin. So I'm like, I'm like a hundred pounds, thank you. What? I wonder now if that would happen. I feel like in today's society, I don't think so. I really don't. Because I think maybe there was one positive of cancel culture, I'm not a fan of it. But I think you can't, I think kids just won't do that now. No, I don't see it as much. No, I don't think the whole, that whole bull, I think there's other bullying. But I don't think about something like that. So for high school, it was like that for you. It was probably for the first like two years. And then I kind of like grew like this like fake skin. And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I am Captain Diabido. Then they stopped, oh my God. The bullies, every time that you stop them in your tracks and you agree with them, they're like, what? You took the power away. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah. So, and then you said you just recently got on an insulin drip, is that what they call it?

and you agree with them, they're like, what? You took the power away. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah. So, and then you said you just recently got on an insulin drip, is that what they call it? Insulin pump. Insulin pump. And how long have you been on that? So I've actually had that for like six years now, but I got this, the continuous glucose monitor like two, three years ago and it's life changing. Yeah, I was gonna say, was that life changing? I don't have to trick my finger anymore, it's great. That's amazing. And how accessible is that to people with diabetes? Well, insurance companies nowadays. I mean, you can go pick up the continuous glucose monitor at like Walgreens. You can get them at Amazon. Yeah, but like the pumps, it just depends on your insurance company. They have like the one with the tube, which I absolutely was like not happening. Yeah. So I have the wireless one, so. Wow. And so for children, is that what children have now? A lot of kids have the, what do you call it? The insulin pump. So do you think having to go down to the nurse's office and give yourself a shot doesn't really happen as much anymore? No, because you can just do it from your like little diabetes phone. That's wonderful. That's amazing. No, that's a really positive thing. It is. For children. Now, do you come across, have you come across people with diabetes and nursing since you've been going in the ICU or? I feel like every day I see somebody who's in, it's called DKA, but it's diabetic ketoacidosis. Okay. I feel like I see somebody that's in that all the time, which just means your blood sugar is like high for such a high amount of time that there's so much acid in your like acidity in your body and it's eating away at

that's in that all the time, which just means your blood sugar is like high for such a high amount of time that there's so much acid in your like acidity in your body and it's eating away at like anything it can, fat. Sometimes when it gets really bad, like organs. In that scenario, are you seeing like amputations then? I have seen amputations. It just the most, it sounds bad, but unfortunately, it's like mostly only type two diabetes. That's what I thought. And I always feel bad saying that because there's that stigma around it when it's like, it shouldn't be like that, but that's the only time I really ever see it. And it's never like, I've never seen like a full leg amputation or anything. It's like toes all the time. Just people know toes. I'm like, damn. So that's mainly type two. And am I wrong? And I'm probably gonna get hate for this, but am I wrong that to sum up type two is people eat themselves into type two? Pretty much. It can come from drinking too much as well. Okay. But yeah, most of the time it's just your body. Yeah, it's over consumption. Your body just can't keep up with as much that you're putting in. Bad things. Yeah, well, like food. Like you could just eat a lot of sugar and just-- It's a metabolic disorder that people don't address. Exactly. I know Brian at times has gotten diagnosed with pre-metabolic in his annual checkups and that's when he changes everything. Well, what you do, you get your high cholesterol, high blood pressure, high sugar, your triglycerides are wrong and you Google it. And it's like, shit, I'm gonna die. I've got five years to live. But if I lose weight and I cut out carbs and I don't drink and you can kind of reverse it. You can reverse it. 100%. That's a beautiful thing.

I've got five years to live. But if I lose weight and I cut out carbs and I don't drink and you can kind of reverse it. You can reverse it. 100%. That's a beautiful thing. Like if you're borderline type two, you can easily fix that. 100%. But then once you are on insulin with type two, can you reverse it then? They say you can. It's just a very tricky slope. Like you could fall right back in. So your pancreas can like once again, like pick back up, oops, pick back up and like work again, but then you fall down that hole again. Yeah. It's completely within your control. That might piss people off too, but I can tell you, I've been in that pre-diabetic metabolic syndrome before. If you exercise and eat better, you can correct your numbers. Exactly. It's just the reality. He doesn't wanna be on medication. So that's what motivates him. I wouldn't blame you if you don't wanna be on type two medication, it's terrible. Yeah, yeah, he has family members. People do start getting their toes cut off. And then if then it goes up to your knee, then it's your leg and that's real. And it's the other leg. Yeah, yeah. It's unfortunate. So with type one, as long as you monitor everything, then you're good to go. Pretty much, yeah. You always have to like type one, you just, I don't know how to say this. Like it's, I always call it the better one because you can kind of play with your numbers. When you're type two, you take that, I don't know. I don't really know if type two diabetics is a really fast acting insulin. I know I do, that's what I like live off of is this fast acting. So it just acts really fast, like within 15 minutes. And so I can kind of play with my numbers. If I want my numbers to stay in a certain place, I'll just take a

is this fast acting. So it just acts really fast, like within 15 minutes. And so I can kind of play with my numbers. If I want my numbers to stay in a certain place, I'll just take a certain amount of insulin. I don't know how it is for type two people. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. And what about as far as having children and stuff, does type one affect reproductivity or? So pretty much they just warn you that like, if you are gonna have a kid, you have to keep your numbers pretty, like controlled. Like they have to be like, I want to say like in the low hundred, like you can get to like upper hundreds, but like they want you to stay in that like 100 range. But thing about it is like when you, oops, the further along you go in your pregnancy, the more you get insulin resistance. So then your numbers are always high. Right. Interesting. Yeah. And also if you have type one, are you more prone to gestational diabetes? Well, you already have diabetes. Oh yeah, I guess so you're just, it's not, yeah. It is gestational. So it is gestational, right? That's a redundant question. So, cause I know for people, the people that get that is that, that didn't have it, then is it more of like a type two thing they're getting? It's crazy though. Some people they get gestational diabetes and it leads to type one diabetes where their pancreas just shuts off. Even when they're just during the pregnancy? After the pregnancy they give birth, that pancreas never starts again. Really? I've seen people that happen to people. I'm like, oh my God. Wow. Welcome to the club. Yeah, right? Wow, that's so interesting. It's almost like your thyroid, I think, right? Your thyroid doesn't really work that well. At all. Yeah. Mine doesn't. So you have like type one thyroid.

Yeah, right? Wow, that's so interesting. It's almost like your thyroid, I think, right? Your thyroid doesn't really work that well. At all. Yeah. Mine doesn't. So you have like type one thyroid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have to take medicine every morning. Yeah. To replace what my thyroid doesn't produce. Exactly. Cause mine is gone. Yeah. Cause I have Hashimoto's too. Oh, okay. So it's like, it's a fun, it's fun. Fun little life. Fun little life. So I did wanna ask you for Gen Z, my impression of Gen Z women is they have a very strong girlhood. I feel like Gen Z women are in general very women supporting women vibe. Has that been your experience? And now that you're in your twenties, not through your adolescent years. Okay, now that I'm in my twenties? Now that you're in your twenties. That's a lot better. Yeah, I think that there are a lot more women supporting women than back in the day. I feel like more people were hateful, like a little hateful back when social media first started coming around. I was like, oh, everybody's judging it. I'm not saying it's good now. I mean, it's so crazy, but it's a little better. Like if you, for example, if you were going into a restaurant or a bar and you saw a girl with a cute outfit, was your first initial feeling be, oh my gosh, that's such a cute outfit, or would it be, oh my gosh, I have to compete with her? Oh, it would be the first one, that I think that's a cute outfit. Okay, so for Gen X women, our first thing was always, I have to compete with her. We never looked at another woman and we're like, that's so cute. We were like, shit, like she looks better than me. And I think that's a, I don't know what that is about you guys, but that's what I mean.

another woman and we're like, that's so cute. We were like, shit, like she looks better than me. And I think that's a, I don't know what that is about you guys, but that's what I mean. In general, you kind of are able to appreciate each other and not immediately put each other down. Exactly. And I think it's so cool. I see my mom's friends and they're so judgy. Yes. I'm like, you guys, come on. And we're not boomers, because your mom is a Gen X-er, right? We're not boomers, because that's a whole nother level of judgment. Because we are loving and we're caring and thoughtful and generous, but we, I've gotten past that, but I do know that about myself and my generation as women. We have not been known to be big women supporting women. I think your generation is changing the narrative on that. It's really cool. I think it has to be better with social media, especially, because you go on TikTok and you see all these girls just like hyping each other up. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that's great. It's awesome. I love to see it. So what's your approach to goal setting? Like, would you say you're the type that in five years I want to be here, in three years I want to be here, or how do you tackle that? So I'm actually the worst with goal setting. I said, I will try to set like short term goals because I don't know where I'm going to be in five years. No idea. And I think that stems from my childhood where I'm just like, I don't know what's going on. So I'm just going to take it one step at a time. So I kind of always start small and be like, okay, this month I want to try to like read more. And that's my goal for this month. And then I'll kind of do that month to month. This month is I want to go to the gym more because I used to be really

this month I want to try to like read more. And that's my goal for this month. And then I'll kind of do that month to month. This month is I want to go to the gym more because I used to be really into the gym and then I stopped. I don't know why, but I just one day was like, it happens. It happens to all of us. It's like they do anymore. Yeah, that happens. That's a great approach. And because then it's realistic. Yeah, I'm not going to disappoint myself. If I'm like in five years, I want to be this crazy, great person with all this money. And then I'm not. Right, right. Yeah. And I'm sure it does stem back to a little bit of the instability that you grew up with and maybe not trusting five years from now. Kind of like nothing's promised kind of thing. Yes, exactly. So you're like, but today is. Yeah, exactly. So I'm going to tackle today. Exactly. No, that's great. So if you, what is your goal this month is the gym. And so you haven't looked to next month yet. You're just tackling this month. Yeah, I take it one step at a time. I'm the worst. I love it. I love it. Now is Alex a goal setter? Like he, I want to say yes, but he's probably going to say no. Like he'll have a goal like for this year. I just want to like knock my numbers out of the park for work or something like that. But besides that, I haven't really heard of anything. I know he has his like step by step plan to get married. It's hilarious. Oh my God. Are you part of that plan? Yeah. Okay, good. He said before, before we even get engaged. Okay, this is my step by step plan. One, I have to have a big boy job. I said, okay. He goes, two, we have to get a dog. And I go, okay. And three, we have to buy a house and then I'll propose to you. Oh my goodness.

One, I have to have a big boy job. I said, okay. He goes, two, we have to get a dog. And I go, okay. And three, we have to buy a house and then I'll propose to you. Oh my goodness. I love it. That is goal setting. That is, that is. That is, that is what he wants. He knows what he wants. And I'm like, I can't, I can't shit on it. No, no, that is goal setting. Those are all very realistic and rational goals to success. And you guys are living, I always tell people you're even considering marrying someone you need to live together. You have to live together. You have to. I don't know how people are like getting engaged. First of all, one of my friends just got engaged. She was together with him for like nine months. I was like, that's terrifying. Yeah, you don't even totally know. They're not even living together. This is scary. That's a risk. That's a risky situation there. Good luck. Yeah. I have a question though. One thing, one of our episodes that came up, we did a short on it and got a ton of activity around just the corporate environment and people shitting on corporate. But like what you're doing is you're working two jobs plus going to school. So in spite of not being a big goal setter, that's a goal. And where I'm going is when we ended that episode, it was like, people are really struggling in the corporate world. And they're like, well, what the hell do you do? Because I don't want to go corporate. But I think one of the answers is you work your ass off and then you're doing that. And how did you get into that mode where, because you're grinding and it is the way to get ahead. It's the way to what you do at your age. How did that happen? Did you fall into it or you set some goals? So I think what was

because you're grinding and it is the way to get ahead. It's the way to what you do at your age. How did that happen? Did you fall into it or you set some goals? So I think what was happening is over the last year, I realized that when I was just working at the restaurant, that I was like living kind of an unhealthy lifestyle, like going out way more with my coworkers and staying out super late, waking up super late in the day. And just, I felt kind of like drawn down at all times. I was just like, oh, I feel terrible at all times. And then I remember Alex, I don't know, he just said something to me one day and he was like, you know what, you need a big girl job. And I was like, no, I don't. That sounds terrifying. No, thank you. And then I was like, I'll apply to this hospital. And if they accept me, they accept me. And unfortunately they did. Wow. And then I had a set schedule and I was like, all right, I'm going to work five days a week. I'm going to have my two days off and I'm going to call it a day. And that's what I do. And I kind of just like look at my like Friday and as like the best day of the week. I'm like, this is great. I can't wait. So I don't know, with school being involved in all of that, it's kind of like, I don't know. It all just flows together now. Like, I don't know how I've made it work. I'm going to be honest. I just, it's finally made it work. It's a lot, but you're doing it. So for the longest time I was just giving up shifts and just sitting at home, just playing video games. And I was like, oh God, I got to stop doing this. No, it's almost like you reached a point where you made a decision and to make a change of trajectory of your life. And you did. Exactly. And like Brian said, that is goal setting. Yeah.

No, it's almost like you reached a point where you made a decision and to make a change of trajectory of your life. And you did. Exactly. And like Brian said, that is goal setting. Yeah. It did set whether you, or maybe it was subconscious goal setting. I think it was. Yeah, but you did it. So are your grandparents still alive? And how do they feel about where you're at now? They love it. They think it's, well, at first they were a little iffy when I moved in with my boyfriend. They were like, you're not married. Okay. And they're still Mormon, right? Yeah. How old are they? My grandpa's turning 79 this year. My grandma is probably 78. I want to say. They're still relatively young. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They act like it too. My grandpa's retired like five times. Oh, that's great. He's so funny. That's great. He just keeps going back to Lowe's. He loves Lowe's. (both laughing) And they keep inviting him back. So hey, take it. That's awesome. But yeah, they're pretty supportive. They love Alex. Oh my God. Don't even get me started. My grandma will text me and be like, no, just how's Alex? (both laughing) I love it. I love it. And then how does your mom feel about where you're at? Oh, she's really, really proud of me. Especially with like me being so close to getting into nursing school. She's like, finally. Yeah. Yeah. And how does she feel about Alex? She loves Alex too. She's like his number one supporter too. Cause they're both in business. Okay. And so when he was like applying to all of these jobs fresh out of college, she like sat on the phone with him for hours and built his resume. That's wonderful. Oh my God. It was crazy. I was like, wow. That's great. And things with Lee? Things with Lee are great.

she like sat on the phone with him for hours and built his resume. That's wonderful. Oh my God. It was crazy. I was like, wow. That's great. And things with Lee? Things with Lee are great. I actually, I look at him as like my real dad now cause I put my other dad aside and I was like, you know, he was never truly there for me. So, and we learned that the hard way. Yeah. But yeah, I look at Lee as like my real dad now. And I tell everybody that he's my stepdad, but I look at him as like the real deal. And he's happy with where you're at in your life right now. Yeah. He's like the person that you could call at 2 a.m. and he'll pick up the phone. Like he always is like the best. That's wonderful. And how do you feel about yourself? I'm really proud of where I've come from cause I know it's been a rocky road. We should be. And sometimes that's hard to say about ourselves. I hated myself for the longest time. I was like, I'm not doing anything. I'm not going anywhere. And then I swear like Alex putting like, like getting into my life and telling me like, you gotta like work your ass off to get what you want. I just like opened my eyes. I was like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. And it gave you- Having a supportive partner is very important too. It is so important. No, I'll be the first to say Brian, he knows that I've said he saved me. Like he, I don't know where I would be if he hadn't entered my life. And it's important to have the right partner. Do you feel like Alex saved you in that sense? 100%. I was at a very low place. I mean, I came from that relationship where it was just so terrible. And then I was just like always down on myself and not thinking I was going anywhere doing anything with my life. And he came in and he kind

where it was just so terrible. And then I was just like always down on myself and not thinking I was going anywhere doing anything with my life. And he came in and he kind of just made my point of view completely different. Yeah. And I thank him all the time still to this day. I'm like, you literally changed my life. Like you have no idea. Yeah. And also he's proven that he is a safe place for you and you can trust him. Yeah. You know, and to get to that point is huge. It is. So, and you guys will always have that. No matter if let's say you do get married and all that, you'll always have that bond of respect, understanding of each other. And I think that marriage has ups and downs, but that's what will get you through is having that foundation. It sounds like you guys already have that and it's so important. It is. It really is. It's so important. And you don't have that foundation, you're screwed. You're screwed. And it's almost like I always say friendship before you get married is important. But what you guys have created is friendship within your relationship. And friendship is what maintains respect. Exactly. And that is what will make the relationship last because you have to respect each other truly. You have to. So, you know, and you should be so proud of yourself. I am now I am. You should be, yeah. Everything you've gone through. Do you wanna have kids? Yeah, I think so. You know, I go back and forth all the time, but like I'm pretty set on it now where yeah, I think I'm getting to the age where I'm not terrified of children anymore. Because when I was younger, I was like, oh God, I don't wanna be caught dead with one of those things. Now I'm like to the age where I'm like, eh, I could see kids not

terrified of children anymore. Because when I was younger, I was like, oh God, I don't wanna be caught dead with one of those things. Now I'm like to the age where I'm like, eh, I could see kids not anytime soon, but you know. Yeah, yeah. You can see it happening. Yeah, no, and definitely take your time. Oh, 100%. You guys take your time. No rush. Remember we gotta get through his five step plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alex has his plan. And you have nursing school. Exactly. We got stuff going on. Yeah, but I will be curious if you look into trauma at all. I want to, because ever since I started working the ICU, I mean, I went from labor and delivery to the complete opposite of like babies. So, you know, it's, I know down the line, if I wanted to go back to school and become a nurse practitioner, I'd wanna become a diabetic educator to teach kids kind of like all about diabetes and kind of what that nurse practitioner did for me. So that's kind of like my, if I go back to school after this, that's my goal. That's a goal. There you go. There we go. Just go into the trap. You don't think you're going, but you are. I know. (both laughing) Just sometimes saying it, like planning it, it can be overwhelming, but you are, that's what's gotten you so far. I like keeping a secret from myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're bringing that down too. Push it down. (both laughing) Listen, we can't thank you enough, honestly, for coming and sharing your story. I think you're very inspiring. I think that especially to other women, young women or any teenage girls or boys that hear your story, it could be just the thing to help them hold on. Because as you know, I'm sure there's some desolate moments during times like that. Oh my gosh, yeah.

that hear your story, it could be just the thing to help them hold on. Because as you know, I'm sure there's some desolate moments during times like that. Oh my gosh, yeah. And sometimes people just need to hear from someone who's gone through that, that, hey, there's life after this. There is. And you have to trust in that and just get through it. Because especially if those teenage years, every day is every day and they don't see tomorrow. Actually, have you ever thought of counseling or anything? Like going to counseling or becoming a counselor? I mean, I think you have a lot to offer the world and kids who come through your situation. I think you could do anything you put your mind to. Have you ever considered working with teens or getting into that? I did for a while. I did, I wanted to be, when I first started college, I was like, I wanna be a psychiatrist, I really do. And then I was like, no, I don't. Because I took psychology my first year of college and I was like, this is terrible. It's like a mind bend. And I was like, I can't do this. It's like, I'm gonna stick with nursing though. And like, I could go into psychiatric nursing though. I definitely think that like in my path, there will be a point where I can do like some sort of counseling work because I think I do have a lot of knowledge about like, like what's next after your traumatic experience. Because that's the thing is like, when you're that young and you go through so much stuff, you're like, always like, when is something good gonna happen to me? And I feel like I could be a light for kids and be like, listen, it's terrible now I get it. But like, it's gonna get a lot better. Definitely, I agree. And even as a nurse, I feel you could probably go

could be a light for kids and be like, listen, it's terrible now I get it. But like, it's gonna get a lot better. Definitely, I agree. And even as a nurse, I feel you could probably go and talk to kids, even whether it's in schools, like assemblies or something. Might be a nice balance. Because once you do get into that counseling world, you start to rehash the stuff you push down. You might wanna keep it there. You have to bring it back up. May not be the way to go. Exactly. You have to wait and see. I know when I really started forcing myself to unpack was when I became a mother. Because you don't wanna project your shit onto them. So you're like, oh, I gotta heal this so I don't push it on. And so that becomes a big motivator. So you have that way down the line. So you have time. You gotta go through Alex's plan first. Yeah, we gotta step by step, bless. But again, thank you so much for sharing everything and trusting us with your story. It's so inspiring. And we're so excited to see, we do wanna have you back in a few years and see where you are. I'll be back. Whether you set those goals or not, you are setting them. So we will see where you're at. And again, thank you for sharing everything with our listeners. Because again, I think that it's gonna be very meaningful for a lot of people. I think so too. Yeah, thank you. Good luck to you guys. And maybe next time we see you, there will be a dog. Hopefully. We'll know you're getting closer. Yeah, the dog. Here we get a dog. Check that stuff. Let's check too. Okay. (laughing) You're 66% of the way, or no, 40%. Yeah, exactly. So thank you to our listeners for listening. And if you have any comments or questions, we always love to hear from you. And thank you again, Brooke, for your story.

Yeah, exactly. So thank you to our listeners for listening. And if you have any comments or questions, we always love to hear from you. And thank you again, Brooke, for your story. Absolutely. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Bye. (upbeat music)