Episode 41 - Boomer Series: JD

[Music] Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we're welcoming JD into the studio. Welcome JD. Well thank you for having me. It's great to be here. We're so happy to have you here. Ah joy. Our first question is always what year were you born? 1961. Okay so you are a boomer. Tail end of the baby boomers. You are. You're at the tail end of the baby boomers. Correct. Okay where were you born? Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh okay cool. Yeah midwestern by birth but moved around a lot so there's a lot behind that. So are your parents from Fort Wayne? My mother's family was there when she met my father and he was a Michigan guy. Okay so what brought your father to Fort Wayne? He um you know a little bit behind it. He was the first one to go to college in his family on the GI Bill. He was in the Korean War, a Navy guy, and started going to college in Michigan State and part of what was going down with that he was getting a degree in human resources personnel. So he started in some plants and I believe there was some interaction between Indiana and Michigan where they met in a malt shop and those like happy days type of thing. No way. Yeah true stuff. Wow. True stuff. So Michigan by birth him for a long time. My mom had I think Oklahoma, Indiana. Okay. But yeah they met there. Do you know what year? 58. Okay so. 57. So a real 1950s malt shop meeting. She had the little dog on the skirt. The poodle skirt. The poodle skirt and they you know for them it was ideal. It was truly like that happy days. Like Greece. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Okay so they met and do you know how long it was between the time they met and they got married? It wasn't. It wasn't long within a year. All right and did they stay they stayed in Fort Wayne obviously because that's

you know how long it was between the time they met and they got married? It wasn't. It wasn't long within a year. All right and did they stay they stayed in Fort Wayne obviously because that's where you were born. Yeah they bopped around a year or two. Okay. A year or two. Are you the oldest? I'm the middle child of five. Oh wow. I'm the middle child. How many boys? How many girls? Two boys. Excuse me. Three boys, two girls. And are the oldest. How does the order go? My sister Lori is a couple years older than me and I'm 63. My brother's one year older than me. And then me and then my younger sister who's probably two years younger than me. So probably 61, 60 and then my youngest brother is 59. Okay so I think your youngest brother is a Gen X. It might be. I think he's the last. What year was he born? He was born in 66. Yep he's a Gen X. Yeah. Okay and the rest of you guys are boomers. Yep. Okay so you were in Fort Wayne for like a couple years after like as a baby. Right. A year or two. Dad again, implant, moving up the chain. So we moved up. We moved a bunch. Okay now when he was in the Korean War, do you know how long he served over there? You know I don't know all the details. It wasn't really, he didn't really talk a lot about it. But you know you see the pictures and thank God he was off the coast of Korea. Okay. He didn't actually see active battle but they were part of the support function. And you know you see the ships and the history. It was pretty cool. But surprisingly he was soft spoken. Especially when a bunch of the kids are a little more out there. Yeah. But great dad, great dad. But his whole thing was I just want to make a better life. Comes from good family. But that going to school super important.

little more out there. Yeah. But great dad, great dad. But his whole thing was I just want to make a better life. Comes from good family. But that going to school super important. That's amazing. That must have meant so much to his family. Do you know what motivated him to want to go to college? Since his family hadn't gone. That's a really good question. I can't say he ever told me that. He just had that drive. Good man. One of those ones they were raised. Pretty devout Catholics. But you know they loved all people. And as long as people were good, it worked out so well. But that's the path they went down. And he just always wanted to do better. To be a better person. You know better community. That kind of thing. So that was him. He was just a good guy. Just a really good guy. That's cool. What did he do for a living? Human resources. And again he started in the plants. Worked into like manufacturing facilities. Whatever they, whatever those kind of, where they made. Whether it's sometimes I think it was petroleum type of things. Or petroleum products. And then he moved up into the executive offices. Into New York. Over time. This was you know when everything was made in America. Yeah. True. Yeah it's very different now. But this was back when you could get a job in America. At a manufacturing plant. And build a career off of that. Where those opportunities. You know like the younger generations couldn't. That's not as available to them I guess right. I'd agree. He did a lot of union negotiations. So it's interesting that you say that. So now that you're saying it's flagging me. I can remember how somebody was pretty tense. But you know very important. You know. Oh absolutely. Yeah yeah. So did his job.

So now that you're saying it's flagging me. I can remember how somebody was pretty tense. But you know very important. You know. Oh absolutely. Yeah yeah. So did his job. Was your mom a stay at home mom? Yes. Okay and with that many kids definitely. Now did his job. Did he travel or did you guys move because of his job? Yeah we moved. I think I lived in a total. Probably 10 states. Wow. Wow. Yeah. What states? So lived in Indiana. Baton Rouge. Louisiana. Wilmington Delaware. Randolph New Jersey. Baltimore Maryland. Went to college in Virginia. James Madison and Harrisonburg Virginia. Moved to New York. My college buddy. And then from New York to Florida. Okay. Yeah so that's been that. So with my parents you know once I went to college. That's when we dispersed. But yeah. Yeah. So we had a lot of moves. You did. You did have a lot of moves. So your elementary years where were they? A couple different places. It was Delaware and then New Jersey. And then what about middle school? New Jersey. In Randolph. Yeah. It was one. Randolph's close to where I grew up. I know. Yeah. I know. I heard your guy went. Yeah. I loved it. It was ideal. Quite frankly you go back there now and I can't believe it because it's been built up so much. Yeah. But it was you know he was going into New York City working for WR Grace at the time and they had that beautiful building with the bend. And really proud of that. Or into Parsippany where they had a lot of executive offices too for the various. I think at the time it was a chemical company that he was working for. Yep. Might have been Dow actually. Actually I had a friend of mine move from out of state from Michigan to New Jersey because his dad worked at Dow in Parsippany. It was allied chemical. Okay.

Yep. Might have been Dow actually. Actually I had a friend of mine move from out of state from Michigan to New Jersey because his dad worked at Dow in Parsippany. It was allied chemical. Okay. I don't know if that really. Yeah. They were at the time for sure. Yeah. So his commute he would commute into the city every morning? No. I think that he did a fair amount but at the same time they had a facility in Parsippany. Okay. And that's not too bad. Not too bad at all. No. People don't realize that part of Jersey is beautiful. They picture the Sopranos when you say New Jersey but there's a whole part of Jersey that's small town. We lived on a lake you guys. You know like you were talking about your kids. They're able to go out. This was fantastic. Yeah. So what I'm sorry. I was going to say he was real proud of that because each time we moved it was a step up for you know your housing which was always you know a blessing. And then you know I know my mom enjoyed that but you know five kids in seven years it was it was really tough when we talk about her. She was great great mom but I mean that's tough. It is. That was really tough. That's a lot. That's a lot. So when you were in elementary school and middle school did you do any sports? Yeah. Oh you know typical football and baseball and basketball. I was idyllic quite honestly. I can just remember having two a younger brother who we always play with my older brother and friends in the neighborhood. It seemed to be you know don't want to overplay that but it was just wonderful. Now did they have travel sports when you were growing up? That I don't believe so. Okay so it was still it was still like like just everyone neighborhood and school friends played on the baseball team then same

sports when you were growing up? That I don't believe so. Okay so it was still it was still like like just everyone neighborhood and school friends played on the baseball team then same friends played on football and basketball that kind of would go to different schools you'd have different schools you're competing against. But what's interesting is I think they were real smart about where they ended up purchasing the homes like near this lake and by the way it was called Shungum Lake if you know Randolph beautiful lake and then when we lived oh other areas they'd get it near a school. So you know you just go to the school and you you know they'd have camps in the summer or a tennis camp or all sorts of things. So I think my parents were they thought that through because that again dad was working and mom had you know probably the hardest jobs. Well your mom was sitting home with five kids she's like I need a playground nearby I need a lake you know probably have some rules. I think they really I think that was well thought through. Yeah absolutely did you walk to school? I can remember walking to school I can remember some of the bus rides. Okay so close enough where she didn't have to drive you guys. That is correct. No don't ever remember that. That's smart. I might have put her over the top. Yeah yeah so high school where was that? High school started in it was in New Jersey for one year and then I moved to Towson Maryland outside of Baltimore and that was my 10th 11th and 12th grade year. Okay so how hard was it to move to be the new kid in high school? For me it just worked out really well. We had moved for someone like brothers and sisters it was super hard. Yeah super hard. It's probably do you think that's because of your disposition and

For me it just worked out really well. We had moved for someone like brothers and sisters it was super hard. Yeah super hard. It's probably do you think that's because of your disposition and your personality since everyone kind of responded to it differently or because you were a little older like did you your younger siblings have a harder time with it or your older siblings? My older siblings. Okay. There it's really knowing me and then knowing them they're I love my brothers and sisters have always been very good but we are extremely different there. The two my older sister and older brother real intelligent and read a lot of books. My brother was very handy. I was out the door. I was playing ball. I was doing what you're talking about your son doing. I'm on the phone at 15. I want to talk to my friends and girls. So I was out. My brother was out. My sister was she was in between that the younger. But all good. All good. I think my sister and brother felt responsibility to help my mom. Especially my older sister. She's she's wonderful but I think that because my mom had parents had so many kids. Yeah she had she assumed a role. Yeah and you know lives a great life great husband and kids and all that but at the same time I think she got had to hold help out. I think that happens. I think I think in larger families the older siblings naturally are given some responsibility of the younger siblings. And so I think and I think back when your parents were having kids having a large family was pretty common. Right. Correct. More way more common than now I would say. Totally agree. Yeah totally. He said I have five kids now people definitely be like wow we're back then that was probably like yeah yeah. I think a lot of people did it.

than now I would say. Totally agree. Yeah totally. He said I have five kids now people definitely be like wow we're back then that was probably like yeah yeah. I think a lot of people did it. Yeah a lot of people. Especially Catholics. Right. That was a historical Catholic large Catholic family. Absolutely. Yeah absolutely. I think they felt that was a big part of it you know. Because I think my sister was born right about nine months after the wedding. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah but that was part of it. They you know they wanted to. Well everything you just said too right they met and then within a year you're saying you think they got married. Then by nine months later they have your sister and then four more kids coming through. Yeah that was that traditional. I think that's just how that's how it was you know. A little interesting tidbit on that though. We talked about the malt shop which is you know my dad just you know. They went there after basketball games when he was younger. So this was you know it is cool. But he said the moment my mother walked into the malt shop like he felt different kind of energy. He goes I knew I was going to marry this lady. Wow. He said that from the get-go and for him to say it's kind of interesting because he's kind of a little again soft-spoken a little quiet and might have kept that to himself. But I remember him saying that and then flash forward to when I met my wife which we can talk about when the time is right but met her at a party through her sister who I went to college with. And what's interesting she didn't feel this at all. Same thing happened she walked into the room and something happened. You know. I swear you guys I don't mean to because I almost would have been easier. I was living in New York.

Same thing happened she walked into the room and something happened. You know. I swear you guys I don't mean to because I almost would have been easier. I was living in New York. Life was great. Living with my college roommate the cross buddy. Life was great but this so there's a connection there. Remember my dad saying that I go I felt that about my wife. Shearcy everything changed for the better. That is so cool. It is cool and it's so true you guys. Yeah yeah that's fate. Wish she would have felt the same way. She's like what are you talking about? It's like you know. I think she can relate to what you're saying when I walked in the room. Well you guys did connect rather quick right? We were friends. We met when we were 19 and we were really good friends for three years. So it was a little different. Yeah yeah we were and our friendship just got stronger and stronger and stronger and then about a month before we graduated college we realized we felt like we kind of expressed how we felt. I was dating one of his good friends and so it allowed us to have a really strong platonic friendship because we were always in the same group always together. But did you feel close to Brian? Yeah the year before we graduated I remember feeling conflicted definitely and we would spend a lot of time together and I think when we have reminisced on that we both look back and think we were both feeling the same thing but I was dating his friend and I'd been with him for a long time and then I think it came to the point where it was okay so we need to just admit how we're feeling and see what happens and then we weren't apart after that. Yeah yeah. Beautiful though because you're the guy and at the same time you got those feelings like that you know you

how we're feeling and see what happens and then we weren't apart after that. Yeah yeah. Beautiful though because you're the guy and at the same time you got those feelings like that you know you want to be with that person. Yeah it was but you wanted to make sure you know you don't want to affect another relationship unless it's like real. That's tough. And then that was it we were we graduated a month later and we drove around the country. Are you still friends with that person Brian or that all? No I don't think so not really. No. No that's another story. He was not happy with that? Nope. Okay. But there was no um what did the kids call it? Crossover you know like I ended the relationship and then there was nothing like you know I'm trying to say it was all in the up and up. Okay so high school um then you graduate and well during high school did you kind of get an idea what you wanted to do for a living? I didn't really think about it. It's too good a time sports lacrosse uh baseball lacrosse wrestling friends. So when did you start playing lacrosse? The last year in high school. Your senior year? Yeah I was. You never played before? I never did and we were big in lacrosse outside of it but just so many friends played so I was picking up a stick. So it started really in college quite frankly. I lived with a couple really good New Yorkers that played some great lacrosse. Yeah. I got brought into the to the mix and it ended up being just a great time. So you played lacrosse in college? Correct. But you didn't start until your senior year? That is correct. I mean that's unheard of now. Well really at the time James Madison was a club so um really good lacrosse but they were clubs. A lot of the schools that are clubs now

That is correct. I mean that's unheard of now. Well really at the time James Madison was a club so um really good lacrosse but they were clubs. A lot of the schools that are clubs now now play D1 and you know what I mean? But it was just fantastic. We played like a Virginia B team and they would just beat you up. But that time Virginia was winning titles but yeah it was great and I was really it was good that I was able to pick it up like that. I probably didn't compare to some of the others but um you know I got involved in running the club and ended up being the president of the club and we would go to various campuses William and Mary you know Virginia military and you know you just play on the college campus that's probably beautiful all these beautiful campuses. Roanoke, Virginia Tech. Yeah. How would you guys get around? Like school? They provided us resources. Okay cool. Because lacrosse was big in that area that's Shenandoah Valley. So it was big in the area so we always had that and you know they would do various things to raise money but it was great you got to meet friends and then you'd be you know at Lynchburg staying overnight or whatever and some of the dorms of the other guys on the other team and did you have to try out for the club team? I know there's really no formal tryout but I think what happened by osmosis if you weren't good enough yeah you know yeah we had a coach who was a um ended up becoming a mentor loved the guy who was a World War II pilot never forget him Colonel Roland Bud Brady and he was the coach and he was uh lived down in Stanton probably 20-30 minutes from uh the college and he wanted to uh coach because he played lacrosse he was a skier he was just this wonderful gentleman and uh uh uh

and he was uh lived down in Stanton probably 20-30 minutes from uh the college and he wanted to uh coach because he played lacrosse he was a skier he was just this wonderful gentleman and uh uh uh great pilot some great stories behind it in World War II but he took to me so he knew that I had at least I could play but captain you know I was captain the wrestling team in high school um one of my buddies that I went to high college with played lacrosse with me um at college and he was captain so we already had that kind of experience on we can have fun and all this kind of stuff but at the same time we got to do this right you know so let's do it he saw leadership in you I think so yeah I think so yeah because now um I mean it's so competitive now like it's even competitive club is I think there's no doubt there it's completely different I think where um yeah I don't think you just can play club even now it's you try out for club and all that so for you to be able to have that experience and then to be recognized for your leadership characteristics and not just how long you've been playing lacrosse is pretty cool and I owe him a debt of gratitude because one it helped me further define who I was going to be and being an air force uh and he ended up being like the military attachéd turkey and so he was a class guy you needed to do it as right and he you know I met his wife and became part of the extended family for some time um they were class so he just wanted you you know he still knew we were kids but at the same time expected a certain level of and and you know I respected that he'd have us into his house and you know you'd have the uh a little drink before dinner and everybody dressed accordingly yeah and

time expected a certain level of and and you know I respected that he'd have us into his house and you know you'd have the uh a little drink before dinner and everybody dressed accordingly yeah and you know when you were at the table he he had dignitaries there periodically there was a couple yeah it was a couple wild stories about who he who I had dinner with as a young kid that I didn't realize till till after the fact but um he was well connected and well respected and you know like I said uh absolutely loved the guy you were you were learning life skills learning life skills yeah from a hero by the way from a year absolutely absolutely he left me his uh when he passed um and got buried in Arlington the most beautiful thing I've ever seen um he left me his flight records and some of the stories in the flight records were like you know how they flow in these formation if someone gets hit you got to take lead and stuff and there's just some of the stories and he wasn't he wasn't talked too deep about it but once I got the flight records the guy was a hero that's amazing it's amazing I wish we could have one of those guys on you know I don't know if there's any around there's a there's a small population of like world war two vets around yeah just to capture some of their stories you know because the younger generations have no concept of world war one world war two veterans really what they have to say you know we kind of do because of growing up and hearing you know on tv or interviews or whatever but there's just no exposure anymore you know so I just think that's so amazing that he was your lacrosse coach that's so cool it was meant to be did absolutely did you maintain a relationship after you

just no exposure anymore you know so I just think that's so amazing that he was your lacrosse coach that's so cool it was meant to be did absolutely did you maintain a relationship after you graduated I did you did any effort did he meet any of your like and kids or anything like that he did um again he was getting older and had some heart problems so I think he died in uh in his later 70s but they owned a really classy bath shop in this cute town called stant virginia we stayed there did you yeah so it's funny the world of lacrosse we were going to lacrosse tournaments a couple summers ago right up in the northeast kinetic at a road island or something and we left here south florida drove all the way up to stanton spent the night there got up the next day and drove up what is it 70 something whatever 81 81 I think so past odu old dominion which really has that's the purple stadium really cool school beautiful area yeah we're on the uh towards the water right what is old dominion in that that now no no I'm sorry where did you go again what did you say uh James Madison that's what we passed right right that's correct it was right off the script the two up we passed James Madison yeah yeah beautiful old dominions totally on either side of the state yeah I thank god for that college experience it was you hope everybody has it and I realize now more than ever you don't have to have a college degree by any you know whatever works but again it's super important to the time yeah but what a 40 well it's five you did five years you got that fifth year okay so when did you know um you wanted to go there because you're in high school because now of course everything's so crazy with kids you know junior year you're touring colleges and you can even

did you know um you wanted to go there because you're in high school because now of course everything's so crazy with kids you know junior year you're touring colleges and you can even start applying to college this summer before your senior year and a lot of these kids know where they're going by fall of their senior year but I don't think it was like that back then right was it yeah so what was it like when you went to go to college one it was exciting yeah you know what I mean and you know we had some resources the parents deal was they'll pay for half you got to work in the summers and because he had that kind of a job he was able to get us all good jobs where we're earning yeah money you know working in that's true HR we yeah yeah but they also was smart again seven to three three to eleven eleven to seven so we would be doing shifts working in these various plants and so that kind of made you appreciate learning how to be a good worker and and then being a little jealous of your friends going out but at the same time you know we made some good money so there was that good mix up we're paying 50 50 and you know that was that was the agreement but just being able to experience meeting the people that I did in the Virginia was beautiful it just you know I couldn't have asked for more but back to your question it really came down to what were our SATs I knew I wanted to go with my best buddy as well so his SATs a little lacking but you know you know what I'm saying and then it was how much to get in right so those were the two variables and then we'd bounce around on and visit where were that where were they and quite honestly it was so funny I can remember still were up in my bedroom you know figuring out they had the books at the

and visit where were that where were they and quite honestly it was so funny I can remember still were up in my bedroom you know figuring out they had the books at the time there was not like what you see now we're like James Madison okay it was 3 000 a semester or it was affordable what it might even have been a year at the time and you know the SAT scores and then 65 girls 35 guys it was a woman's teacher college years and years ago boom that's a great so that ratio just fell right into something that just stood out and then you go visit and you're like yeah you know it's just blown up now but at the time there were like 10 000 students including you know people that are what's at the after graduates or whatever they yeah yeah so you guys would have a book yeah they would have all the colleges right and so you kind of narrowed down maybe where you want to go or you would just look through the book and read about the different and mainly it was the SAT score required so they didn't really look at care about grades as much um I don't think so so it's SAT and then you looked at how much does this cost like can we afford it can our family afford it correct I don't remember like the high school counselor helping me much might have but again yeah I didn't need that kind of yeah and then you didn't have to write an essay or have a resume did we no are you yeah we had to do that I don't remember that at all we had to do an essay but we didn't have to do a resume because now it's SAT grades okay resume essay yeah it's a whole thing I imagine people pay that pay college um counselors or guys like thousands there's a whole industry yeah it's so different okay so when did you know you got accepted got accepted

whole thing I imagine people pay that pay college um counselors or guys like thousands there's a whole industry yeah it's so different okay so when did you know you got accepted got accepted like senior year end of senior year you know I think I worked for six months before I uh because I didn't get in I don't believe the first semester or you know how that what was what they called they put you on like a waiting list yeah deferred and then my uh college roommate that I wanted to make sure it took him a year to be able to get in so I think six months I stayed working in the plants you know that kind of thing building up money but knowing that I was getting in and then he joined about six months later and then did you guys uh were you in dorms um we went off campus from the very get-go okay it went and that was so the two of you in an apartment we did and then did you do greek life at all I didn't we couldn't play in a sport okay it would have been really and I do miss that because my son went through that that thank god I was able to be part of as a dad and I really enjoyed what I saw but no it was it was too much well your form of that would have been being with lacrosse you still had that camaraderie oh absolutely so you guys had parties oh my god all that stuff was so when okay so if you started what maybe spring semester you said you were different yeah yeah okay um and then he started what the following the following yeah right the following fall okay so that first semester were you on your own I you know ended up just meeting a couple people that were in the same type of scenario and you know you get pot luck and it worked out pretty good nice work so you guys got an apartment together got an apartment

in the same type of scenario and you know you get pot luck and it worked out pretty good nice work so you guys got an apartment together got an apartment okay fine it was such a farm kind of area at those times yeah um and it was just it was you know you could go in there was quarries and forests and you know that shannon doan valley so they was just idyllic so they had like the dorms out campus because it was growing so much where these cute apartments they built into the scenery that's awesome it's it's truly a beautiful area for anybody who's not been through there it's beautiful it's so beautiful so when if you started spring and he started fall when did you guys start lacrosse that first that that fall yeah that fall that's fine so then that's when you're lacrosse yeah club lacrosse and did you do that time you were in school correct you say what's interesting one of the guys that i met that roomed with and you know we i don't think we stayed not friends he was fine but um just not meant to be as far as you know the lasting friendship kind of thing he's the one that turned me on to lacrosse so he would sit there so for those six months as my friend was coming down um you know that's where i learned in it just kind of well you had played for the senior year in high school right no no i just played with the guys that's the first time i picked up a stick yeah so what you didn't actually play on this the high school team no no you just had friends who did that's correct and would like pick up a stick and mess around with them but then that spring semester college and you met this kid correct and he pretty much taught you lacrosse it did that's amazing you know it's wild too is you know how some things like i love golf but

college and you met this kid correct and he pretty much taught you lacrosse it did that's amazing you know it's wild too is you know how some things like i love golf but i was never natural at that at all as much as i love it it just seemed like lacrosse you're you you must you must have been you must have been you know to be able there's a lot of stamina associated with that i was telling you i wrestled in college excuse me high school not college and you know you got to control weight you got to do a lot of things that challenge you discipline discipline so on a discipline yeah yeah so you know our practices and this is you know a army excuse me a air force colonel running the practice you ran i think 10 miles of practice that might be an exaggeration but we were in really really good shape so i think that that helped me as much i don't think i was as good as some of the ones that were more natural but i was able to score a fair amount be around that but uh i definitely wasn't on the top echelon but i was i was helpful in yeah you had a good uh athletic base to build off absolutely so do you know what position do you remember what position sure midi center midi okay and you need to be quick and have good stamina to be a midi because you're back and forth back and forth back and forth each end of the field that and that was it that was it and i love that as you know i think you're got you're telling me your son played plays yeah i love that you know it's physical it is and you know as a young guy you want to get that out of you yeah you know what i mean the sly brian and somebody's coming and you're coming across the crease and this guy checks you and i'm gonna take it was so that was now it's a great it's an

out of you yeah you know what i mean the sly brian and somebody's coming and you're coming across the crease and this guy checks you and i'm gonna take it was so that was now it's a great it's an amazing game i don't think she can relate to or not relate but she's shocked because it's changed so much yeah you've got to build up even just to get into a club program at this point it's a whole thing it's nuts yeah i don't know if i would have been able to get in it it's a whole thing and playing you need to play travel in order to really keep it like the rec um programs and i think this is true with a lot of sports now is younger kids start out in rec and then a lot of kids will pick a sport and do travel that sport and then play on the rec teams during that season and are so much better than just kids that are just doing it for fun and then those kids don't get playing i think travel sports has affected rec sports hundred percent it's kind of pushed out kids that just want to play sports just casually you know especially here in florida because it's so nice year round that kids pick a sport at a young age and they focus on it and they get really good at it so to her point the casual you know athlete rec athlete they're just behind it's become very intense very quickly yeah i don't know if i like that no i don't like it no because you know what you want these kids to still play sports even if they went into a y mca yeah they still have them and you know you get on a team and you know that was such a big part of my life yeah i and i think for our age too i think travel was just starting for gen x i played right i played football in the fall basketball in the winter and then baseball in the summer or spring summer and then you screw

for our age too i think travel was just starting for gen x i played right i played football in the fall basketball in the winter and then baseball in the summer or spring summer and then you screw around in the summer and you jump back into football but i think they don't do that anymore it's like year round that was fabulous right i mean it had to be i loved it i mean i can totally relate to what you're saying that ideally childhood of playing different sports and just being athletic and you know they do say a lot of the um like a lot of lacrosse coaches even football coaches the big programs they want multi-sport athletes because they know they're more well-rounded they're not just completely hyper focused you start running in the repetitive repetitive motion injuries you know pitchers now totally tommy john football players get hurt all that stuff and burnout right and burnout i think 100 percent yeah that's interesting you know it's it's changed and and there's just an intensity amongst parents and there's it's just different now so it's really that old fashion oh i'm just gonna play a sport it's not once you hit i feel like 10 10 is where the 10 you gotta be good or you're out or yeah the 10 is when they're really although now we've been at now it might be eight or nine like when you know you know what'll have to happen you gotta come back in a few years when jd jr's about to get in when he has to decide you come back and tell us yeah because he is a grandfather yeah your kids with their kids are i'm gonna end up going through it it's just i don't know the whole the whole phenomenon is really interesting i'm hoping that it's gonna go so far it's going so far this way that eventually it'll come back

going through it it's just i don't know the whole the whole phenomenon is really interesting i'm hoping that it's gonna go so far it's going so far this way that eventually it'll come back around it and people start to embrace just the organic playing of sports it'll happen that's i think so i think that's gonna be the next step that's the next business there you go is that so interesting you talk about it so i my grandson who's jackson decklin and john david so he's you know i was hoping he'd say call him james they got the initials right he's yeah but anyway for whatever reason his dad he's got these plastic clubs you know golf clubs he loves golf because his dad loves golf so i've taken him to the range you know at the country club a couple times and he's got a little bag that says jackson and you know we got him the real driver or real sandwich in a putter and he's two and a half right so we'll get up there and you know everybody's so kind to him and stuff you know we don't do it where you know because he's young and i don't want to mess up the flow of people really being serious but you know there's it's so hot right now that you know it's not near as busy but anyway two and a half there's a guy giving lessons to pro to a woman and you know jackson sitting there watching what's going on i can't explain well honey this teaches you how to be good well anyway i called the guy because started goes you're two and a half year old got he you know his swing he's got he's been walks around the swing so sure enough the the pro goes well generally people don't start till four or five but he goes i do have a couple two and a half year olds that wow you know if they can sit or and and they'll listen if they'll

goes well generally people don't start till four or five but he goes i do have a couple two and a half year olds that wow you know if they can sit or and and they'll listen if they'll listen so monday 11 o'clock monday or the afternoon i forget what time um god his first lesson oh my god taking him oh my no but i'm now i'm going back to going you're in it i'm in it but i'd rather him be well rounded and be able to do all those multiple things yeah yeah yeah but he walks around with the you know a club in his hand yeah he likes it he likes it no i mean i think and and training uh kids don't get trainings on all the sports it's very common now so whether they're playing multiple sports they're getting trainings on all those so like if you were to tell that to anyone they'd be like yeah that sounds normal you know that's just how it is that's what you do you know with everything we said we're part of it yeah we're part of it we've done the travel up to the northeast we've done it all so we're not it is what it is with your older kids or is that just your younger so it's interesting yeah so what's interesting is with our um with our old with our older son um travel existed he's 28 so he was born in 1997 so when he was in middle school elementary it was just regular little league um and then middle school he played for the school and travel wasn't really really prevalent yet for they existed but it wasn't no one was talking about it it wasn't like so what travel team is he going to play for or who's he trying it wasn't common like that so that was 15 that was like 14 13 14 yeah so he just he played little league um and then for his middle class he was a little bit older but he didn't do travel but he he showed an interest and we we

was 15 that was like 14 13 14 yeah so he just he played little league um and then for his middle class he was a little bit older but he didn't do travel but he he showed an interest and we we hired that one dude to teach him how to pitch yeah what was that or something yeah in new jersey oh yeah that was yeah that was for pitching but that was all we did with him but our daughter it was starting to get prevalent she played travel soccer that was a whole thing um so we were in the travel soccer world for a while so and she was born in 2000 so i feel like i feel like it's more like the early 2000s and then now it's just it's crazy now what's wild though like if we've got a you know there's a few nice parks here we're in south florida so the weather is always nice say if i go over we go over and throw a lacrosse ball or something at the park there's guys they're working on their drop back to be a quarterback they're working on footwork right it's crazy there's people there kicking field goals there's soccer kids they're you know doing penalty or corner kicks you know to try to all that stuff it's cool but it is wild especially you know you can relate to the jersey thing me growing up there that wasn't a thing yeah you didn't have an intense focus on this one thing no not at all no no where these kids are specializing it's cool but it's wild yeah you know not get it and that's great if you can be that you want to be that guy but i think overall yeah you just want to be well rounded and enjoy you know what i mean um so i i wanted to go back you moved a lot out of all the states you lived in is there one that you favored or that you have really strong memories from that time period because you were in indiana

i wanted to go back you moved a lot out of all the states you lived in is there one that you favored or that you have really strong memories from that time period because you were in indiana you were in louisiana you were in jersey that's a great question it's got multiple different ways to answer that because i think all i don't remember the michigan indiana you know i was young but i think we moved to louisiana when i was four or five so i can remember things about louisiana in the later 60s that impacted me greatly so i remember that as a young kid having some major influences nothing to do with sports or stuff like that at the time but it was a big difference from the midwest going to bat ruse louisiana what were some of the things that you were talking about there was a lot of racism and i can remember and it ended up being because i have to say this properly the way that my parents walked me through it the school that i went to which was a catholic school um was able to educate you on what's right and what's wrong and you know there was uh buses that were white and black there was restaurants that were white and you know people didn't treat various races the black folks fit well and i can remember it being really a bad thing and that hurt because you didn't want anybody else to feel a bad thing so i'm glad that i was left with that by through my parents um that there's absolutely no room for this and to see it it just you know i can just remember you know people talking down to a man got a son in front of him and i could think of that today and it would just be it's there's no room for that so not a great thing but coming away from that experience and bat ruse taught me to you know i'm not gonna i don't want to be

would just be it's there's no room for that so not a great thing but coming away from that experience and bat ruse taught me to you know i'm not gonna i don't want to be that person yeah because how old were you during those years probably six to maybe eight those are formative years formative years so that was something that you carried with you for the rest of your life yeah to this day yeah it's a pivotal pivotal moment so so i have such fun i mean bat ruse was cool and it was just different you know it was lsu so i can remember the first football game i ever went to with my dad lsu old man so there's bat and bat ruse um and then i really you know will michigan delaware seems to be a little stop off for us you know so can't remember too much except for living near a school and it was fabulous fun new jersey was outstanding so you were you were um more a teenager what 70s mid-70s correct so were you into music you know no rhythm no i loved i think our generation has some of the greeno that you know what i mean the band you guys know um so i was into it that way but you know i couldn't dance my rhythm was poor uh no musical aptitude but huge appreciation and surprisingly good at knowing what's good yeah but nothing related to talent did you go see live music oh yeah so what were some of the bands you saw bob seager super tramp bruce springsteen that kind of thing yeah did you see led zeppelin never saw led zeppelin in college there was a lot of uh country rock you know marshall tucker oh yeah neil young about leonard skinner leonard skinner tom petty um almond brothers almond brothers you see all of these um i didn't see the almond brothers i saw three of the four we discussed um yeah they would come and you know we lived near

tom petty um almond brothers almond brothers you see all of these um i didn't see the almond brothers i saw three of the four we discussed um yeah they would come and you know we lived near we were close to charlottesville so you'd get a lot of good stuff coming into charlottesville i think it was only 45 minutes away so you saw a lot of these bands um in their prime or as they were just starting yeah if they're coming to college just they came to your college or i'd go up into charlottesville and they'd had but yeah i think it was i forget who it was uh 38 special and and and i think neil young and you know it was a local type of thing and charlottesville is a major stop it's a major stop i think that's where a lot of it was so would you see them in big venues or in like a bar um big bigger venues bigger venue you know and then going back home into maryland for you know summer or for breaks and stuff we'd cruise into you know dc and the capital center that's where i you know saltine springsteen and some of the but it's all in that prime you know like for us because we were born in 71 so we're into that music but it for us it was looking back on that there was and and we have been able to see some of those bands live but it's not in their prime if that makes sense so i've always with the original members with the original members i just have always been envious of people who were able and probably kids that are older like would be envious if we were able to see maybe nirvana or pearl jam in their prime because that's when we were in our 20s early 20s but um i just think that's that time frame and music i don't think has been replicated since feels that way yeah my kids are listening to it other people you know

were in our 20s early 20s but um i just think that's that time frame and music i don't think has been replicated since feels that way yeah my kids are listening to it other people you know are they're doing remakes of those songs yeah yeah yeah yeah was that good time i mean you're 10 years younger you said okay so was that nirvana all that stuff was good stuff going to see i mean do you feel like so we actually you still had a good ride at the time we the grunge movement came when we were 23 22 23 24 maybe a little younger we didn't see the see those bands live because got married and started having kids and we were busy doing that but um we that whole thing that was going on it was happening when we were in our early 20s and so the discovery of that music like we were hearing it live on the radio for the first time you know where kids now look back on that like it'd be like hearing led zeppelin on the radio for the first time like so even though we didn't see nirvana we didn't see pearl jam we're also huge dead heads yeah so when we could see we had the time we went and saw the dead and then or dead cover bands or almond brothers we saw the almond brothers at the beacon in new york city we used to go do that once a year yeah cross we stills in nash and yang neil young um i saw seve and rivan before he died so that's that that i feel really lucky about that i i think we we were the tail end of that where they were probably still members yeah they were still good but they had aged a little bit and then then that whole grunge scene came on the scene and music did change we saw bob dillon we saw santana yeah all that so that's why our son's name is dillon after bob really yeah and then you see that movie which was just mind-blowing recently did

did change we saw bob dillon we saw santana yeah all that so that's why our son's name is dillon after bob really yeah and then you see that movie which was just mind-blowing recently did you we haven't seen it yet you guys no but it's timothy shall me i think it plays him amazing yeah i want to see that's all i can say and that music you that that that thing going really train he was the transition point as you know from that folk kind of yes yes go see that movie yeah phenomenal no i want to see it dillon movie yeah timothy shall i may i think plays it fabulous really fabulous see it in a theater as opposed if you can yeah you know what's coming up um what is what's the date there's that dead movie that's coming out yeah in the theaters so we go that they'll do what do they call it the night at the grateful dead night at the theater or something like that and it's all around the country on this one night all there's theaters in every town that plays and they do it and they take a different show it's cool so we go as a family so but anyways i just think that's that's cool that you were able to really go see a lot of these bands live and just experiencing the music yeah you know you were talking about the dead you got a lot of credit to them because a lot of the kids at college were going to see the dead yeah so they they they endured they they persevered because what years uh would college have been eighty to eighty four for college for you yeah was eighty to eighty four correct and they were going to dead shows they were going to dead yeah and that's that early 80s absolutely yeah i know there was a bunch you know because yeah yes one of my favorite shows i went to rfk in dc and saw the dead there i was i'm sure some of my friends

and that's that early 80s absolutely yeah i know there was a bunch you know because yeah yes one of my favorite shows i went to rfk in dc and saw the dead there i was i'm sure some of my friends might have been there because you know you don't just go to one or two no no no yeah because that was um brent keith and brent yeah those years keith and brent on the piano okay we're getting sidetracked with music which we do i do have a question though yeah i want to go back to your louisiana days sure so i've always known you as a kind giving open-minded person and a nice guy as well right does that experience in louisiana how much does that intersay your lens today and part of the question i have is when you were there as a little guy did you know it was wrong that what you were seeing and the parents helped you make sense of it or did they explain to you this isn't right that makes sense it does um to answer your question it defined me to be honest i'm appreciative and you know i don't mean that that makes me better than anything i'm just saying that absolutely defined me and yes my parents helped me but i knew it was wrong and i remember the look on the kid's face when they're chastising some man who's not the same color in it and it's wrong so yeah yeah so so i was the beneficiary of being able to see it but not having to be the person to experience and that it never should be that way yeah so so yeah it was very very fortunate that that that i was able to see it that way because some people don't yeah yeah but um yeah so that was a huge huge thing and you know when you look back at blessings in life i think that helped all our family yeah you know yeah no that makes just that time being there seeing yeah yeah makes sense yeah and we moved enough to

know when you look back at blessings in life i think that helped all our family yeah you know yeah no that makes just that time being there seeing yeah yeah makes sense yeah and we moved enough to know that there are differences yeah that's not right yeah so no that's that's again like i said just such a pivotal moment in your life for sure and again wish it never happened but couldn't be more thankful because you know if everybody was just treating people right you know i know it sounds you know yeah okay yeah but i mean it's as simple as that it really is a lot of things complicated so media platforms oh yeah but to the core yeah it's that simple so when you were in college what did you study uh it was like a marketing major and a minor in economics okay and at that time as you're going through school did you know what you wanted to do or were you just i'm interested in this so i'll get a degree in this yeah i think that i've always that type of guy sales guy i mean i didn't know i was going to be a sales guy but i didn't see me being engineering or have technical skills okay that led me down that path my sister was super smart val victorian three-year high school three-year university in Maryland wow you know smarter than us yeah well yeah my brother engineer smart that kind of thing but they you know they weren't doing the same things i did as far as with the social life so did your younger siblings take more after you yeah my sister went to madison which was kind of cool yeah we're there together yeah oh that's cool she came a year or two after but it was cool it was very cool you got to party with your sister a little bit i think she thinks i did a little more than you know i think she was a little more smart

she came a year or two after but it was cool it was very cool you got to party with your sister a little bit i think she thinks i did a little more than you know i think she was a little more smart about i was everywhere doing with everybody and she was knew a lot of people i had a lot of friends but she was also focused on being smart yeah and what about your younger brother he was great i think he went to west virginia for a couple years oh that's a fun school yeah and then i forget where he graduated from for two years but he played football and not in college but at high school he's high school quarterbacks he was my younger brother they kind of were more like loose like you so your older two were more responsible yeah and then you kind of broke them all that's exactly what did you were you the corruptive force or were just yeah and you know what i think you know the good things you get in life that some people just have this you know they're calm and control and they come off i've been i'm pretty hyper yeah i don't mean that a bad way but i'm excited i want to be in and i'm non-stop my parents should be just like i'm tired yeah and not so much in a bad way but you know back to what about talking about my sister especially when the kids were younger i think that she became some of that because she had to be responsible and she was and you know we're thankful that she was yeah yeah that makes sense but at the same time i'm glad i wasn't first because we yeah you know i mean after school or after dinner when you're 15 years old 13 years old 16 years old yeah some of the best times of the life so yeah yeah yeah yeah you said you went five years which um in college which i don't think back then was like now that's so typical

years old 16 years old yeah some of the best times of the life so yeah yeah yeah yeah you said you went five years which um in college which i don't think back then was like now that's so typical kids try to go five years actually but back then four and a half remember i said yeah okay so that's where it is okay okay okay so i was wondering where did that extra year come from okay so when you graduated did you know did you have a job already set you know what that's a great question because turned into this met another my best friend john lonann who happens to be the high school guy matter of fact when i moved it was hard you mentioned earlier about moving stuff tenth grade that was a little tough you know what i mean took me under his wing pretty much so became best of friends still are today oh that's cool so yeah absolutely so he helped me with um the high school acclimation and bringing me in to the the group that you know the sports people and that it was you know that's really cool yeah it is cool yeah yeah what's that matthew mcconaughey movie that they do where they're all in high school dazed and confused dazed and confused that was 100 us more on the booze side yeah okay other side but that's what it was like so dazed and confused is pretty accurate pretty accurate that's one of my favorite we love that movie yeah it's again you know we were athletes so there wasn't as much of you know uh marijuana at the time and not anti at all trust me ran into that in college in his grade but we were that was but keg parties in the field keg parties at the reservoir yeah what about the fashion from that movie pretty accurate pretty accurate yeah and the cars absolutely i had a dodge challenger oh nice nice so classic you guys it was

parties at the reservoir yeah what about the fashion from that movie pretty accurate pretty accurate yeah and the cars absolutely i had a dodge challenger oh nice nice so classic you guys it was again not everything's always yeah perfect by any means but boy that's that's sure how i remember that what color um it was white when i bought it from a guy i'll never forget it beautiful car he had painted the san francisco bay bridge on the car so here i am 17 years old and it was called the san francisco no way and i ended up painting over it because you know yeah but at the same time you got it you know it was a hearth pistol grip those are all those again even the climbing i'm so surprised that i'm survived they were fast and dangerous they didn't handle well but you could go fast you could go fast we were lucky enough to have some of those cars still around when like we got into high school like my buddy had an old camaro oh beautiful my best friend's brother had the smoky and the bandit trans am get a blue one we're driving down the parkway once in new jersey doing like 85 90 miles an hour he floors it and we spun out racing racing uh what are what's one of those other crazy muscle cars i can't remember like a camaro or mustangs or something like that grand terrina no something like that did you have an eight track oh that's what it started with and then it went to cassette i think right about yeah that time okay but you did you did have the eight track before you went that was such a small part but i do remember like the first time i was in the middle of the song clicking over so yeah yeah yeah that's cool that days the confused is authentic yeah we it was the big thing you know after friday night sporting event everybody went whether it was

song clicking over so yeah yeah yeah that's cool that days the confused is authentic yeah we it was the big thing you know after friday night sporting event everybody went whether it was football wrestling basketball and you know you'd go to the reservoir oh god this was great and you just like how many kegs yeah dependent upon what was going on or the time of year because you know winter little bit different but um uh you know they were good kids there wasn't a lot of bad things but you were very fortunate because i think right when i was uh either graduating or in high schools when they started you know the drinking and driving wasn't smart yeah wasn't smart you know that picked up in earnest by the time we got there yeah thank god actually wasn't the drinking age lower for did were you like 18 but because of accidents yeah they moved it up to 21 relatively quickly so did you experience were you able to drink when you were 18 before they moved it up yes okay all right so you were part of that yes and then they moved it up not that that stopped you from drinking but they ripped it up right right right because we've never we've only known 21 so you were there when that whole transition it's smart that they did that because of maturity but i also realized if you fight do all these things who am i to judge but from a safety standpoint yeah i think we're all very you know you sometimes you're just fortunate but if you're one of the unlucky ones and make a mistake yeah that's a bummer because you don't want that to happen to anybody but i mean we you guys we would have people you know those little consoles they had and they were bigger consoles i mean you know just where you like nowadays you put your keys yeah yeah i mean they'd have ice in

guys we would have people you know those little consoles they had and they were bigger consoles i mean you know just where you like nowadays you put your keys yeah yeah i mean they'd have ice in them and you'd have your beers in them and it was days confused you guys like roadies were normal just to bring a roadie everyone had a beer everyone had a beer yeah there wasn't liquor i can't remember until really later in college quite frankly but it was the beer everyone we caught the tail end of that we still got exposure to that but by then there was a lot more there's a lot more of laws against strong drive and bag parties and stuff oh yeah we did yeah we were in the field that you'll see gen xers talk about you know your our parents thought we were spending the night at someone's house and we were passed out in a field somewhere so we had that experience you know with kegs and we did more houses you guys did more houses we and we had house parties too but we did because i grew up in oregon so there were fields there were like timber fields or forests you know you could go and but we did have house parties yeah you grew up in a rural area but it was a smaller town so i think the cops were more on you guys if you were in a field there weren't as many fields there were cul-de-sac so yeah i think where i grew up where i used to play in streams and woods it's all houses now so they were building it all back then so you go up to a dead end we had party balls back then yeah or we'd go to like the clan or the you know have just that beer whatever but people's houses local kids you know local kids who would be in a band that was fun stuff yeah now those those were the days that's great stuff great so you were talking

that beer whatever but people's houses local kids you know local kids who would be in a band that was fun stuff yeah now those those were the days that's great stuff great so you were talking about your friend though that took you under his wing did he well so he took me under his wing the other roommate who was a new yorker who's wayne hall best friend as well to this day we talked twice a week at least that's awesome so when we he graduated probably a happy year or so before me and winton worked for uh at the time they sold like software to schools you know it was the time where the computers just like the apple just got developed and you know all these types of things that was like 84 85 that is correct that's exactly correct so i went up there and we did a lot of technology for years okay and it was great lived at his house the first year um so this is post college post college you lived with these guys yeah in the city um no outside city in honeyton long island oh in long island okay long island and then so what'd you do for your job we ended up starting a software services company called forest systems wow yep yep and it went really well for a lot of years um at one point had up to 50 people and we ended up having some issues on selling hardware products because a lot of it was based upon chips and at the time memory chips would fluctuate like that so that wasn't the good business to be in so divested ourselves from that a little bit painful to be quite honest but we had a services entered entity where we did a bunch of cabling and we'd put bodies on site yeah that's money yeah so so that happened i think we did this for 12 years and at that point it was you weren't making what you wanted to make it wasn't going

cabling and we'd put bodies on site yeah that's money yeah so so that happened i think we did this for 12 years and at that point it was you weren't making what you wanted to make it wasn't going to be the dream come true that you wanted although it provided well for a lot of years and at that time people that we met in the field uh either selling products to or becoming part of the industry is when my life changed in such a great way for career wise i went to work for cisco systems when they first started getting wind under their wing so here i am i'm 30s and i'm in a i've got a global job working out of pen plaza madison square garden service and ball street service and financial things learning from a company that you know had this leader john chambers who was just an incredible businessman and bought companies and did acquisitions better than anybody at least that i've ever come across and i'm sure there's a bunch of success stories rightfully so but he was known in the industry so he would always acquire these companies build them into the mix and cisco went off like a rocket ship what years uh when was that 90s yes that was 96 okay okay they did blow up then they had bought a communications company a france company that had this telephone line so it was the first time there was competition to companies like avaya brian yeah and i know you know cisco's phones but i mean it's turned into you know they bought a computing platform um you know now they're they're their servers are you know yeah they're right up there with some of the biggies so i was able to see and experience that and that allowed me to travel because i was in new york city i was able to service accounts that had a lot of you know meat on the bone so we got to california

able to see and experience that and that allowed me to travel because i was in new york city i was able to service accounts that had a lot of you know meat on the bone so we got to california several times a year give them executive briefings take them up to napa valley um have the wife come out on the tail end it was it was wonderful and then very very fortunate to become a global account manager so i was able for like six eight years travel the world so just to go back so you you guys start this software company which i'm still like that's so cool that you did that right out of college um really it like this is all kind of new right in the seven late 70s mid late 70s and early 80s this whole computer it stuff is new right so you're right there and then you said you for the next 12 years you handled a business that handled cabling well that was just a component of one of the services it was like we would get bodies and they would come in and train people on how to use like if you can remember again you're 10 years younger but it's like the first time like everything was lotus one two three you remember that yeah and it was at the time the multi-mator word perfect so these software packages came out that revolutionized yeah everything you know what i mean they went from uh the the green screen as everybody calls it the black screen with the white text back then it was green text yeah yeah right then what they're describing is that that shift from that to actual windows and a mouse and a keyboard so you were a part of that part of that so you would sell that software that is correct so you'd go to businesses correct and they would have that traditional black screen with the green writing yeah when you type right in my picture

so you would sell that software that is correct so you'd go to businesses correct and they would have that traditional black screen with the green writing yeah when you type right in my picture yes right because i'm not it so you're talking about what you got yeah yeah through osmosis sometimes i understand what things he's saying um and then you would say look at this look at this amazing software and what it can do and that were people blown away blown away and think about here's email right but you're you were pre-email that was the email the foray into email because was what did that software have emails did it introduce it didn't know what we're saying is the green screen no email it was just right yeah then there was probably some messaging app but it wasn't nearly as sophisticated and simple as 100 wasn't but you know these word processors are spreadsheets that you know accountants used to pen and pencil and calculators so i look back and it was so good and you know i've been very fortunate but at the same time you know made some mistakes because we could really capitalize if we would have not been four guys that got together and started a business that all just said grow grow grow give credit to people trust all these things like you need in a like the business that that i work for nowadays that brian's aware of the the leader and his partner um the partners are a very good accountant cfo we needed things like that because at that time you guys there was so much great opportunity if you remember y2k yeah and everybody was so concerned that when that clock went from 99 to 2000 that your systems didn't work so people spent a fortune to upgrade their billions billions and we were the recipients of that no

was so concerned that when that clock went from 99 to 2000 that your systems didn't work so people spent a fortune to upgrade their billions billions and we were the recipients of that no question so you were you were out there selling software so so that people could um be confident that their whole system wasn't going to fail once it went from 1999 to 2000 there was a mix of uh at that time what became popular just prior to that was the local area network so what that meant is that people were now connected to one another via computers it was all wired there was no wireless but if you can imagine the gain and productivity from going from single computers and they're only just single computers so you didn't really share anything unless you gave someone a floppy disk or some of those things yeah and it went to connected so it was steps along the way but it was really big because businesses got a lot more effective and efficient leveraging technology see yeah so you had the body shop setting up lands and then y2k stuff right now y2k stuff was amazing in terms of money because everyone was nervous and they would hire people you were probably putting people on site to go through old software code the green screen code line by line to make sure that it would handle four digits instead of two that's really what it was all about right it went from four two digits 99 everyone assumed 1900 and then it went to 2000 that's the whole problem so they had people going through lines of code i worked for a company they made tons of money and then once it happened and it was this big dud right there was this non-event they fired all those people in their stock tank and they had to diversify but that's when the dot com bomb uh uh dot

it happened and it was this big dud right there was this non-event they fired all those people in their stock tank and they had to diversify but that's when the dot com bomb uh uh dot com blew up that's correct yeah that's exactly correct but did it did um everything not fail because of all this because of the steps that were taken so was it a dud a combo actually would you say was a combo because there were some were true to it but a lot of fear you needed to do it because if you didn't and it didn't work you would have been you know who wants to be that person that didn't yeah didn't address an issue gamble it would be a gamble but um to brian's point it might not have been near as catastrophic as it was sold but catastrophic away because one you know budgets were available yeah totally so so it was good and i worked for cisco at that point in y2k and you know everybody yeah so but anyway prior to your question we were selling you know bodies to train people yeah um so you on these programs you actually were you i mean it's fascinating to think of that time in your life your your generation where you guys are on the forefront of that someone your age right so to go from that i was just getting into my career and i was at a company that was doing that and then the dot com uh just you know the internet exploded and being at cisco for that that's a straight up trajectory right and that's when chambers was doing all that stuff well at one point they were the most valued company in the world and it changed quick because you know there was a bust right yeah because they were all overvalued yeah they were you know you only sell what your revenue was this your profit was this but they were doing multipliers that didn't make

there was a bust right yeah because they were all overvalued yeah they were you know you only sell what your revenue was this your profit was this but they were doing multipliers that didn't make sense so there had to be a readjustment but cisco at the time cisco at the time displaced a via phones for jitsu phones everybody you you pick up a phone you watch tv now all those phones you see cisco you look at the white house phone of when their president sitting in whatever the oval office is it's a cisco phone so that brings me to um for listeners who are not um know nothing about technology like let's like they know nothing how would you describe to someone what cisco does what is cisco a company that enables you to do business in a very efficient and effective way you can do that by utilizing automation and and software programs that kind of like what you're used to your iphone now is does everything so you can imagine that just prior to this if someone would call there wasn't voicemail they'd get a sticky and they would give that to you but business still moved because you got the message and you responded to it but there was no connection and there was no immediate response there was no so i would say that cisco just provided all those kind of infrastructure elements and software systems really operating systems but that enabled people to have software programs on them that enabled you to do things that you couldn't ever do before so businesses could do get into markets they didn't serve before businesses could expand because it wasn't this big jump to have to put a facility there you could have a location and just you're connected to it so it really changed the playing field and i think brian correct me if i'm wrong because

this big jump to have to put a facility there you could have a location and just you're connected to it so it really changed the playing field and i think brian correct me if i'm wrong because you're in the glass house now right the cio really only got in the glass house when all this happened the chief information officer it used to be this there was no you know the chief operating officer the chief executive but then all of a sudden it became that important and the cio in the later 90s or maybe early 2000s he was sitting at the table and that wasn't happening and that was around the y2k time do you think y2k had a lot to do with it probably with everything was there like let's bring this person needs to be just as important as everyone else i think so because of what's going on so you were there at the birth of so much of this the internet so it really yeah like you remember life before the internet i do and then you were there which we do too yeah but um professionally though and then so professionally how how did your career change as technology grew how did it affect your career not just opportunity wise but just um hands-on your daily life like you were there when there was an email then there was email and all these different things like how did it affect you i think overall and i may be unique to some degrees because of the career path that i took being a salesperson but you know how everybody used to have to you know two hours in from the island into new york city you needed to be at your office technology allowed you you didn't have to be there as long as you were being productive so i could still help my wife raise the kids and work out okay so that was key um but even more importantly and again what a

you you didn't have to be there as long as you were being productive so i could still help my wife raise the kids and work out okay so that was key um but even more importantly and again what a blessing to become a global account manager i serviced price water house when they merged with cooper librand so if you think about it now they're they're all part of the this big four whatever they are big three now but it was two seventy five thousand person firms merging so they had locations in 152 countries so i'm the global account manager for that account that was the auditor did the books for cisco so here i am this guy i get this job where i'm flying around the world i have a global gateway account manager somebody that knew the language somebody that knew what's the right word the traditions and etiquette so i wouldn't you know what i mean oh so you're saying as you went to different countries you had a companion or a correct kind of a consultant to say okay make sure to bow take your shoes off here like a cultural a culture and they called them global gateway because it was one for europe there was one for asia there was it was so i mean think about i'm able and here i am and that person loves it because here i am i'm whatever and here's what's the greatest thing about it so this is from my standpoint why i was so fortunate as well because financially that was great but because we sold to them millions and millions and because they did cisco's books it had to be i learned how to you ethical ethics where everything in john chambers would come into the street and do our numbers every quarter and i got to sit in the back room when he was going to different accounts and help you sell so and i don't want to make more than

would come into the street and do our numbers every quarter and i got to sit in the back room when he was going to different accounts and help you sell so and i don't want to make more than that it is but for several years that man would come in every quarter and most of the times he'd say oh let's go visit metlife let's go visit equitable and why it's interesting because i've never known that you um but you've always spoken highly of him and how you're just like love him yeah like you've always spoken highly of him i've been an admirer of his as as sort of the client side because to your point this guy blew up tech right he changed the world in terms of uh just how the world works and and you asked what how would you describe cisco i would say it's slightly different from the client side they made the internet work the internet does not work without cisco's routers and switches and now it's their telemetry you know voice stuff they got rid of the pots line for the most part other you know there's other players there but cisco would have bought them and and made it better and blew it up but that explains to me now why you're such a you're why you're such a fan of his why you look up to him so much he would come in you're on these big multi-million dollar accounts right strategic accounts global accounts he rolls in jd let's go do this and you're kind of he's your he's helping you make it happen well honestly he had people and yes he would know my name but realistically um there was a because it was growing so big everything was orchestrated properly and he'd come everything was set but yeah we you know he'd go see accounts that i had or again you needed to you he was all why like john chamber so much he was a good man he was a good man and he put

everything was set but yeah we you know he'd go see accounts that i had or again you needed to you he was all why like john chamber so much he was a good man he was a good man and he put good people around and you know we were all talking about how the internet blew up yesterday with that that couple yeah you know what i mean oh my god you know what i mean that would never happen in a john chamber yeah i mean think about cold play you've seen it right so i see stuff about a week before brian's sometimes i'm like have you seen it yet you know that that one hit the press oh exactly she's the head of hr yeah i mean could it get any worse no i mean i think the problem's not hers she's no no but i'm yeah i oh trust me but it blows up families it does no it's terrible his wife had his last name off her socials that morning yeah i mean and you can't do anything anymore by the way that's the other thing and that's where it things have really well now what's funny is um they've been i've seen on social media different like um morgan wallen and um different musicians that are playing live right now the last few nights and they'll say okay our camera's gonna go around so if you're here with your secretary separate that's crazy and they're giving more like hope every and then there's people at like baseball games and men have signs that say this is my wife this is my wife my sister so don't know that's great sister you know it's no but you're right so because you've been there from the very start and um have gone along the journey of technology as it's grown um from the aspect of a sales and sales yeah um and you continue i assume to go on this journey and i i'm assuming it continues to challenge you and um you're always

technology as it's grown um from the aspect of a sales and sales yeah um and you continue i assume to go on this journey and i i'm assuming it continues to challenge you and um you're always you're kind of always at a little bit of a learning curve every correct how how would you would you say that that has helped you stay young at heart and young in your mind because you're always kind of plugged into what's going on absolutely and that it's it's helped you feel still connected with um the present day of what's happening absolutely yeah because you probably have to know just i wouldn't say as much as like brian's and it he's technical but you probably do have to know almost as much in order to be able to sell it right like you can't fix it if it breaks necessarily but you need to be able to know a lot about what you're selling yes i have good people around me so i can't really tell you that i'd be that guy that knows all yeah what's behind it but you know what and and you know brian chime in if you if you because that'd be good to know but i like to think that you know when you appreciate people that are buying from you and when you have this relationship with them where it's mutually respectful even though i'm selling to them it makes for this partnership that you really want your client to win and of course you will as a salesperson or the company you're working for because you're doing quality work so i've always just wanted to provide a very good experience that goes long term because then you get relationships with people you're spending a lot of time with folks that aren't your family you're after hours and things that are enjoyable but at the same time you know i still understand my role as a

a lot of time with folks that aren't your family you're after hours and things that are enjoyable but at the same time you know i still understand my role as a salesman and um i look at that as bringing the right resources and making sure my client's good i do that more like a quarterback than the technical side because honestly why i went to college on the marketing side and why was that door is he i i'm not that guy that can sit there and go yeah you know this nanobite that talks to that and i do kind of understand a lot of way that works because over time but i'm just like where's my engineer okay yeah yeah yeah a lot of people don't there's a lot of salesmen they're a lot more technical yeah for sure but you're probably more knowledgeable than you realize i think so because i have adapted to like you said changing technologies and i'm and i see a lot of people my age that you know not they fear it but they don't utilize it yeah but i mean i love a lot of things the video and audio on this phone and the pictures i'm capturing of the family and these things and how to message them or it's fantastically powerful when you really think about it so i won't be great about behind the scenes but i do understand to your point so as far as sales um you just described a lot of the reasons why you enjoy it um as far as the relationship with your clients and um and that you're coming with good intentions you're you know you're selling them something that's going to truly help them correct you're not just selling to sell you're selling you have a meaning behind what you're selling there's meaning behind it selfishly too of course because you know what it does if you do well yeah of course it helps of course the family

what you're selling there's meaning behind it selfishly too of course because you know what it does if you do well yeah of course it helps of course the family but but you're selling with integrity and you know what i wouldn't be as hopefully as good if there wasn't passion behind what you're doing yeah yeah absolutely and i do see what you're saying because some people it's just a job i yeah i look at it different now i work for a person that i worked with at cisco who's just a wonderful man and built a great company um so there's that again respect relationship and delivering to your client good stuff so it kind of feels like been a win-win to your point there's there's components of that that need to be done right so yeah it has i mean there's some authenticity to it absolutely and you're proud you're proud of the business you're proud of what you're doing and that probably has contributed significantly to your success because people can see through it if it's not that way so you know so is there also though for yourself personally um do you enjoy that hit of making the sale totally yeah do you like to gamble no okay that's so interesting because um our older son is a salesman and he likes to gamble not in a bad way he doesn't have a problem but he likes to go with his friends the casino and stuff and um my father gamble my great grandfather my grandfather and i think one of the reasons he enjoys sales is because that hit is similar to when you hit when you're gambling yeah yeah so i wondered yeah i've wondered if salesmen in general like to also gamble because it's like the same hit i've always wondered that and you've been doing it for so many years so i didn't know if you if you or if you've known other sales guys that like to gamble not as a

it's like the same hit i've always wondered that and you've been doing it for so many years so i didn't know if you if you or if you've known other sales guys that like to gamble not as a problem just for fun no i understand your point yeah i think people find different you know entertainment that's that's all good i always looked at it that you work too hard to to risk that right you know what i mean yeah i like the environment being around but now i'm in and it might be also that i don't sit still real good like play board games with family members or things that are great to see i'm moving so you're so have you always been like that since you're a little kid yeah okay yeah so sports was good for you great for me okay and yeah sales would be like that right because it's that next chase that next thing that next thing got back to when you asked that question did you know what you're going to be no but yeah yeah you knew you had to do something you're hustling exactly and you are you an extrovert yeah yeah like you enjoy meeting new people and talking to them oh yeah no matter where you are no matter where yeah so you have all the components i do and i've learned too because like i said i've been very fortunate uh my wife's family's dynamite there's a bunch of successful people in there and i saw how they've interacted with people i've been able as i told you to travel and see how they interacted with people so i hope that we're doing that right but yeah i'm definitely out there jumping around and so when you're in greeting okay when you were traveling um around the globe uh for work what countries like what would you say were your top countries i love to reminisce on it because once i get closer to retirement i want to

the globe uh for work what countries like what would you say were your top countries i love to reminisce on it because once i get closer to retirement i want to do more i was so lucky um that i was the guy that when you had meetings there was always be like a thursday friday and a next wednesday right you got these certain people who'd come in and out god bless them i get it i wasn't that guy i was i'm gonna do the right thing but at the same time i'm gonna see i'm here yeah and then you know a lot of the times because we had great my wife's family in particular you know would help us with the kids my wife would join us on the tail end and that was wonderful she loved to travel we love to travel together but i'd have to say europe has always just been phenomenal you know i love my you know experiences in asia but i love the feel of history in italy and france i love the comfort of speaking english in england not that a lot of other countries don't because a lot of them do but i just love that for some reason so europe was where i felt most i loved that but um seeing the other cultures was was great because it really made me feel that much more boy we're a great country we have even though there's there's bumps and uh it was interesting even all those years ago to hear people what they thought of as good and bad there was still like you know what you guys are you guys are something so did you feel that um like because it feels like now there's a lot of america hate america stuff outside of america but when you were traveling you're saying that um you encountered more pro-american yeah but there was also negative if you guys remember that show like dallas yeah okay yeah so you know these things they play these things like

saying that um you encountered more pro-american yeah but there was also negative if you guys remember that show like dallas yeah okay yeah so you know these things they play these things like that but like if you go to a perisian restaurant right and you know i can remember walking because i forgot what a city um people would snap their fingers for a waiter and you never do that in paris and you knew they were and it just means you're not being or and the reason i bring dallas because you know they'd be sitting there and you know you'd have your boots up on the table yeah there's certain things etiquette wise you just don't do so i think they think that there was some of that and because we were for lack of a better word but top dog you know a lot of you know what i mean people would look for that but i think there was also a lot of respect and especially if you handled yourself properly and like i said i was so fortunate to be able to have a gateway account manager and be like listen you're right you know you wait you're turning if you're going to sit there and show them that you you want the bill real quick you're going to wait longer yeah so you know it's cool yeah greatest country where i would i love italy i think italy is to catch me out of countries and i'd like to gift yeah did you go so you did europe you did asia did you go to china i didn't i was never able to go to china i didn't get to japan want to do that but a lot you know vietnam and thailand and hong kong australia was a trip whoa god i love those people i've always wanted to go to australia oh you guys on my list yeah we need to do that i really want to go to australia you know and you know it's well what a country you know i obviously once you start getting

wanted to go to australia oh you guys on my list yeah we need to do that i really want to go to australia you know and you know it's well what a country you know i obviously once you start getting on the what do you call that the western side or you know how sydney and is the coast you're out on the thick side yeah the stick is done much so i didn't do that per se but i mean there's some crazy nature but i mean oh my god talk about just beautiful environment and people that just seem to get how to enjoy yeah done right because they're also successful at what they do so yeah that was that was right up there too and you know it's an english speaking and again not knowing other languages and god i wish that's one of the regrets i have i wish i learned yeah languages because i think there's power in that oh absolutely but again going there and being comfortable because again there's people in different countries france is a great example unless you've got the right thing they don't they really don't want to help you out unless you're you know making some effort which is yeah you can you can get by in france with just english i found you can i've been in hong kong and even china you can get by with english yeah now there's tools that can help you but i mean like if you're that person that is being kind of abrupt or rude yeah you can't be an asshole a cab driver yeah he's gonna act like i don't understand you at least that's my experience yes so yeah i just think again it's just be yeah approach it properly and and you know be respectful because you are in somebody else's country absolutely yeah did you ever go to south america um you know latin america that's about it that's about it i have not made it we didn't do a lot of business down there

are in somebody else's country absolutely yeah did you ever go to south america um you know latin america that's about it that's about it i have not made it we didn't do a lot of business down there for some reason and it seemed like i was traveling on behalf of price waterhouse cooper for systo and they were much larger in europe and asia what about africa never never that that'd be a dream too so how many years did you do this traveling it's a long time it was wonderful wow that is so cool so when okay so you you we covered your when you graduated and you worked but when in there did you meet your wife i have one question because i'm i'm real curious on that front too but in terms of the the sales approach you're you started young right out of college correct and what do you think's changed for you over that time and i think what i was thinking is she was asking you about your technical you know you are you technical can you do it have you always had the same approach or when did it maybe kick off evolve to where you're really more client relationship management more so than i'm going to sell you something right it's never i've got this product i want you to buy it it's more like how can i help what problems do you have what solutions can i bring you right i think that's more your approach how long did it take before you got there would you say great question because this will help your boy okay okay being a relationship person i want to hang out with them they want to hang out with me so if you have a connection that hey whether it's you're going out you're taking them out or you're golfing or you know and again there's certain people that don't you don't have to have that kind of relationship but whatever that is

taking them out or you're golfing or you know and again there's certain people that don't you don't have to have that kind of relationship but whatever that is if you find a tie that finds you're already at bat you're already on first second base yep so i was always that guy was in play yeah i'd hang out with people and play i'm not saying we were better than anybody you know probably thought we were but the net of it is is we just were it was great to meet people and it was great to kind of connect yeah so that's first and then second to your point over time brian you realize that only takes you so far it can be a door opener the company you work for can be a door opener but the reality is what's my value to them yeah and that did take some time but i think that if what i know now i wish i would have known then was understanding like you said take the time to understand what's important to your client and you know before i would be you know i'm not taking the time to read somebody's financial things and understanding where they're going and realistically that's powerful especially children nowadays or excuse me young adults there's so much information out you can google things and find it oh by the way i hear you got this initiative i never knew those kind of things yeah so the value proposition is key but i also think where you really get good at it because no matter how good your company is or no matter how it never seems to rain you're going to run into situations where you know your company or you or it was an act of god where good things didn't happen how you handle it then it's more important than how you handle it when everything's going great yeah i think that's a it's actually a great point even in the non sales

things didn't happen how you handle it then it's more important than how you handle it when everything's going great yeah i think that's a it's actually a great point even in the non sales world right how you deal with adversity and treat the people around you during those weird times or just how you handle it really starts to define you then more so than when things are good no doubt about it yeah that's a great point so how much would you say self-awareness comes into plays salesman a lot more than i gave it credit for and great that you bring that up because that's probably a weakness of mine i kept going without evaluating it naturally happened that i think i got better at what i did but the self-awareness i didn't take time to to really go down that path you know i would listen to people who'd mentor and give me help but um i just seem to be moving on and i think that's a good thing to think about is that you're not really evaluating unless it was you know obviously critical or something like that but that's a it's it's good to think that you could get yourself in a better place by doing more of that but and then how much would you say um delusion helps and when i say that i mean fake it till you make it like just believe in yourself and um just and delusion almost because if you're too self-aware you can get analysis paralysis where you um you're like i can't do it you know or you think to overthink it but then if you um are too delusional then you're not going to you're not authentic anymore would you say that's accurate like that balance of the two i think you're yeah does that make sense it does and you know i have again really thought too much about it but since we're talking about it you're making a really good

like that balance of the two i think you're yeah does that make sense it does and you know i have again really thought too much about it but since we're talking about it you're making a really good point because if you think about that that balance would make for a very good rep somebody that's willing to put themselves in play somebody evaluating themselves to be smart and then you know what's interesting about it you can be lucky a lot too i got lucky inheriting account that was one of the biggest accounting firms or what do they call them consulting firms at that time and then being able to work with a company leader so there's a lot of luck and luck you can put um and that happens but it's probably a very good mix of that i'd never looked at it that way as much and i probably could because i really do i always look at myself and i think it was a good sales rep but not a great rep and it's not because i'm not a really good guy and i care because i'm a good quarterback but never took the time to keep how am i working day to day to get better the guy that's a leader but also a very good family friend he's good at you know what's your pre-call planning did you sit there afterwards and then send that follow-up email and those ones that do it are good because they're taking the time before and after to really spend some time looking at what they just did instead of moving on to next so i always moved on to next somewhat successfully rather successfully but the hitters would do the mix of the three things that you just said the other thing too though where you're going as well as that's an entrepreneurial trait of i'm gonna go sell it and and if i get it and i land it and it's like oh wow all right it happened now let's make it happen so they're

going as well as that's an entrepreneurial trait of i'm gonna go sell it and and if i get it and i land it and it's like oh wow all right it happened now let's make it happen so they're willing to fake it a little bit right i'm bigger than i'm gonna let you think i'm bigger than i really am and if you bite i'm gonna make sure i make it that's that makes sense because if you don't then you know then you're not dead yeah because there is risk in that but but there's probably a bigger upside quite frankly and you can't hesitate because then you create doubt with your client right and you're you have to you have to at least appear you believe 100 percent in what you're selling without hesitation i'd be that guy that couldn't work for a company that wasn't you gotta deliver you know there's you know it there's no question you want a product of good service being delivered and you know don't don't compromise you know what i mean yeah you know because there are good companies and you want to be with the good company that makes good parts but also a great culture and then you you know then your life's that much more enjoyable for sure yeah because would you say that um for a salesman that wants to be truly successful they need to be working for a company they believe in and that they enjoy and if they're working for a company that they're miserable at or they're not satisfied it's going to affect their growth as a sales salesperson absolutely but i think it also bleeds into other areas that may be more important if you're not happy how does that help your health if you're not happy how does that help your relationship with your your spouse yeah how does that help you with your kids so i think there's a it's it's you know it's a whole

that help your health if you're not happy how does that help your relationship with your your spouse yeah how does that help you with your kids so i think there's a it's it's you know it's a whole package deal type of thing from my perspective i think you need to be healthy i think you need to be challenged i think you need to be you know and all those kind of things and it's not saying that's easy but you know i don't want to be in a culture where they're not paying it forward you know what i mean yeah yeah and i'm not saying you have to be you know unicef or behaving around anymore i think so but you get what i'm trying to say yeah i absolutely do yeah i just you know i want our company they pay it forward they do so in your experience i'm sure you've come across a lot of different sales people have you encountered sales people that their whole world is falling apart personally but they're still out there grinding and and you think that what's going on personally has affected them professionally absolutely but really definitely but also the other way around in what way that you're saying they're still grinding i think that kind of caused it do you know what i mean in other words it's self that's self-fulfilling it's self-fulfilling you know i mean get yourself i mean why is that happening you know what i mean yeah but but but yeah absolutely yeah you know i have this kind of personality probably addictive to be quite honest that served me well and also created some challenges so i'll see the reason i bring that up is because you'll see sales reps that you know they're not doing the right things you know uh eating too much drinking too much staying out too much putting their selves in situations that aren't healthy and i understand

reps that you know they're not doing the right things you know uh eating too much drinking too much staying out too much putting their selves in situations that aren't healthy and i understand you learn with age how to make better decisions but the net of it is the ones that make bad decision those categories it goes right down the path you talk about they're not healthy they're not happy they may be working fine and stuff like that but boy i don't know how that yeah you may be wired and that's okay but i don't see a lot of that i see a lot of people trying to do the right thing and you know trying to and there are some more driven and there's reasons for but you can tell if someone's going to be you know what i mean if they they're not handling things right and it looks like it's they're going to hit a wall or something like that is it a hard thing to fight where if especially if you're traveling and so you're meeting new people you're out to dinners you're doing all fun things is it can it be hard for certain people do you think to then have to downshift when they're home and just slow down a little bit because you're always on you're always you know talking to people there's always new and exciting um stimuli coming at you and then when you get home to your family when people people who sell come home to their family they're living the more monotonous day-to-day life do you think that can be hard for some sales people that transition absolutely absolutely do you think sometimes then they end up taking on more work and being gone more because that's easier than being home imagine so um that kind of gets back to how do you handle that relationship at home how is your relationship with your spouse are you doing the right thing to make

imagine so um that kind of gets back to how do you handle that relationship at home how is your relationship with your spouse are you doing the right thing to make sure that that person's needs are being met yeah and then the kid so you got to make sure you figure that all right because you don't want it to go down a path where it doesn't work out because of it but certainly i think you're 100 right that that could go down that path yeah just because you're right you got to be on but if you think about nowadays right like um i think you were talking the other day about you know technical problems and you had to be on phone calls for whatever so even though you're working for home that's a that's a tough thing and the next day you're shot because you were on calls so there's a mixed bag of that so you got to get both right whether you know it's good that you can be remote it's good if you're going in you're good you find the balance but the net of it is you got to be able to be find that balance so that you're healthy yeah right you do that through your sports or you know whatever you're doing your cold plunge your yoga yeah you know taking the wife out your your relationship with friends and finding a good balance because you're right there is a heavy load and you know what i mean i you know i was so happy my wife was able to stay at home until the kids left high school and raise the kids she did phenomenal on and that you know i've definitely felt pressure to produce yeah yeah i think it did create some issues absolutely yeah absolutely yeah it's a valid point yeah because it's such a delicate balance and especially if you have one spouse who i remember when he traveled there's you didn't do this again he called me from a drud from like a bar

yeah because it's such a delicate balance and especially if you have one spouse who i remember when he traveled there's you didn't do this again he called me from a drud from like a bar to tell me how wonderful everything is and our kids were like three three and six and i'm making mac and cheese and have to give baths and everyone's screaming and i think your dad actually said don't ever do that again that's not what you do but i think it can be it can be where you have there has to be an understanding there has to be good communication because you have one spouse that is out there supporting the family and then the other spouse is holding down the home front raising the family doing all the things so that the spouse that's leaving can go leave and not worry about the home front which is priceless um totally but that spouse that's gone is living a little bit more of a you know a fun existence there's no question you know and so there has to be that i'm sure in your marriage you had to find that balance it's not like you came home we're like guess what i did created some issues you're you're right yeah that's why it ended up being great when my wife was able to come yes and you know quite honestly at least from my perspective her job is so much more important than mine i mean raising those kids just the same way you did right yeah you know what i mean yeah and i don't want to speak for you but from my perspective hugely outweighs what i did i understand making the money and all that stuff and all the things behind it but i like what what i saw was happening with my children so well it goes together it's a partnership right absolutely and the communication i think is 100 key but i always say he laughs but i always do say that um you know

saw was happening with my children so well it goes together it's a partnership right absolutely and the communication i think is 100 key but i always say he laughs but i always do say that um you know i i was able to it was a privilege for me to stay home because brian was able to provide that but it was a privilege for him to be able to just go and build his career without one single worry about the house or the kids or anything he didn't even have to give it a second thought so we both were privileged from our partnership and not that it was easy we're going on 31 years this september um there's been ups and downs marriages ups and downs and there's bad days bad weeks bad months whatever but i think that communication but especially in your situation where there's somebody traveling i think it can create um extra challenges in marriage and marriage in general can be hard so that communication is is so important you know by the way you're right it did yeah yeah it absolutely did yeah we managed through it and we'll be married 37 years in wow or 38 in september you better figure out which one yeah well 1987 so what does that mean that's 38 i'm not math i'm not math it's gonna be 38 that's amazing when in september um 26 oh we're the 17th okay cool yeah i do have a question i think it's a perfect segue i want to get into how you meant your wife yeah yeah yeah that was gonna be my next question uh two comments one comment one question that bar madrid was amazing it's like a 200 or 300 year old i knew you were gonna come back to that amazing it's like i think it was three or four stories hi it was amazing it's a beautiful country oh it's oh my god you're up here it is a gift that was his favorite yeah yeah uh the question i have it's interesting i was talking to

three or four stories hi it was amazing it's a beautiful country oh it's oh my god you're up here it is a gift that was his favorite yeah yeah uh the question i have it's interesting i was talking to someone who's about your age actually guy i worked with the other day just talking about sort of that enlightenment that we go through i feel like you know this podcast has probably helped me um learn some things you know just talking like this meeting incredible people and talking about you know like your life story and all this when did do you have a point where you remember where maybe a life went off and you had some sense of like it may be an epiphany or the realization of just understood things a little bit better things started to fall into place was that your early 50s and if that doesn't make sense i could try to clarify but you mean personally yeah personally where you were just wisdom is the word i'm looking for where you kind of felt like okay i kind of got this i understand what i should do i understand that i didn't do that it does that make sense and would you recall a moment in life when there that clicked for you i understand the question i can't say a moment in life but but to put color around that certain things are important i knew that they were going along the right path like the raising of the kids even like you said calling from i mean i must have probably done that you know and it's so funny because you tend to forget but i can remember my wife man you know we didn't have help like her parents when we moved down here were here and they were the greatest for the kids charsey was with the kids alone so i can't say anyone but i mean it just seemed like over time there was just these i started feeling that you know not

here and they were the greatest for the kids charsey was with the kids alone so i can't say anyone but i mean it just seemed like over time there was just these i started feeling that you know not making as many mistakes grew up a little bit yeah yeah you know mistakes can be painful you know what i mean and who wants that you know and i feel i got a lot of breaks and then you start going man you don't want to be on the side of you know yeah yeah yeah i wonder sometimes is there a moment for men when they're in a marriage when they really kind of look around and think i am so lucky like i am so lucky that i have this marriage and these children but that you start to see people that are divorcing or things are falling apart and you take stock in what you have is that kind of what you're talking about yeah i feel like i'm in that and i've been in it for a little while and i'm just curious because it's not saying it's a new thing i've always been a pretty conscious person but i've also had the ability to be a jerk and just let it you know call from a pub in madrid at three in the morning and say how warm the throat right so yeah i wouldn't do that again i know not from that but just i don't know you yeah you grow up you get a little more conscious a little more awareness type of thing you know i'll add this brine since having grandkids and now you're looking at it from a different perspective and it's mind-blowing you're gonna love it you've had the three kids and if you're i've never seen my wife i mean we of course happy we enjoyed the kids so much now more than ever i was the officiant of my son's marriage yeah that's amazing and you know my daughter's getting married in january oh i didn't know that he's marrying um his name eric katz he's a great guy

i was the officiant of my son's marriage yeah that's amazing and you know my daughter's getting married in january oh i didn't know that he's marrying um his name eric katz he's a great guy and his father ron katz and i are going to be the officiants at my daughter's wedding so i feel so connected and in that way yeah you know what i mean yeah no that's a whole nother face it's a whole nother face so now that my kids have got older and you start understanding that you know you did a lot of the right things yeah and now i've got these grandkids and i'm like i got this and my kids and because you had made a point and wanted no one of your podcasts i was listening to and you were talking about not putting yourself front and center with with you know your kids kids and you're yeah you were talking and i got my wife and i played that i played it so well but these beautiful babies and how two of them but hey how can we help let us know because we're only 10 minutes away if that yeah yeah naturally involved in this thing where oh my god we we love our son but our daughter-in-law is amazing and we help each other we try not to to overstep and if so just communicate but honestly it hasn't been that way it just kind of has worked so it's you know a mutual respect but at the same time you know i wouldn't have ever taken the approach and just jumped and forced ourselves on it right no right but you'd be amazing how many people amazed at how many people do yeah you know and then there's a lot of they suffer the consequences i want that no no no so actually um what advice would you give to people whose children adult children have not gotten married yet what advice would you give to parents on how to be a good in-law to their future spouse

advice would you give to people whose children adult children have not gotten married yet what advice would you give to parents on how to be a good in-law to their future spouse take it slow right because you don't know that person well you may think you do you may have a lot of experiences but take it slow because you really want to learn about that person over time some trips with them so maybe one-on-ones or some whatever it may be naturally that evolves learn more about them and then slowly but surely how can you be helpful how can you be kind how can you make it a better day so that the relationship just blossoms in a good way doesn't mean there won't be bumps because there absolutely will be humans that you know aren't perfect but uh yeah take it slow learn it learn a good bit don't put the cart before the horse even if you like these i can't think that you know you want certain things to happen but you can't make them happen so be a great participant to help it unfold in the best for everybody involved right yeah no that's wonderful advice and respect their boundaries too right totally yeah totally yeah and how important would you say it is to make them feel welcome into the family from day one key especially you know there's there's people have issues that they've grown up with we've all had certain things some better than others some worse than others but you don't want to you know they're there some people don't have great parents and then all of a sudden they're in this house and it's brady bunches are you guys know what the brady bunches oh yeah okay yeah okay but you know we're seeing like everything was pretty cool yeah we grew up watching the brady yeah yeah senior things don't mean for a little but for us um it was reruns

yeah okay yeah okay but you know we're seeing like everything was pretty cool yeah we grew up watching the brady yeah yeah senior things don't mean for a little but for us um it was reruns okay yeah yeah i thought that ship was live uh maybe we're really little like but no i think it stopped okay but i thought when they were in hawaii doing that like ski jump competition i thought that was live on a sunday night maybe it was maybe it was the early seasons that were reruns but no no i think you're right i think like we were there for maybe like our age could remember live but then the early ones were black and white that's crazy yeah it's so funny you remember that but yeah but i mean how ideal like you know just the music is great so but a lot of you know and i see this because again some of the things that i do outside of uh my direct family you see these people aren't having the luxury of two good parents doing the right thing and being there yeah you know what i mean yeah you know i was telling you about that eucharistic ministry thing and it's such a awesome thing to do it and i do it for the sick and dying and it's so interesting to hear what they tell you as you're getting older and getting ready to move on and what's gonna blow won't blow your mind but one of the main things you'll hear is i wish i spent more time with family and they'll go i was just trying to work really hard but you know my daughter holds it against me because i wasn't there so there's regret on not being there and again some of it's selfish and you make your own bed but some of it oh i just thought i was working so hard so so important and the other one this just blows me away they'll go i didn't speak to my brother for years and the guy you know he's on his

some of it oh i just thought i was working so hard so so important and the other one this just blows me away they'll go i didn't speak to my brother for years and the guy you know he's on his deathbed he's just like why did i let that happen so it gets back to those family ties and it gets back to getting over those hurdles and just you know making that work out because when you can't change and it's getting to that point yeah it's and it's all those similar regrets it's like oh i wish i made more money i don't think that matters at that point it's about you what your kids are going to say about you yeah and you're good anyway not to keep going but it's so interesting to hear go i wish i would have well then do it yeah so yeah and i've it's not the first time i've heard that but at your door you're directly involved here and so hearing that is that's kind of powerful because you hear that you can read it and go on yahoo.com or whatever and read that but to hear it and you see it firsthand that's probably way more powerful i guess i've been able to use it my friends got a great friend that i love right to be golfing where it's it's so cool and may not be as close to his brother there's some whatever he was talking to me about certain things and i said have you really thought about that so i learned from that gentleman that said that to me about why didn't i speak to my brother for 40 years yeah and you know and that may be a little bit dramatic example but the point being if you can control and you can be there you're not gonna you're gonna feel good about how things unfold as you age yeah and the investment i think one of the what you were referring to the video maybe was also talking about um the investment you put into your

unfold as you age yeah and the investment i think one of the what you were referring to the video maybe was also talking about um the investment you put into your children their childhood and being there and present you get the reward when they're adult children and they give you access to their life because it's amazing how many access it's the reward it's the reward right like our old our our even our 15 year old still will hang out with us but our adult children want to hang out with us and we're every time we're like my daughter asked me if i'd go to yoga tomorrow morning i'm like yes of course my favorite thing so it's our favorite thing absolutely you guys were yeah you you're very similar to my and it's so important you got to work and it doesn't mean everything's perfect yeah but when you think about that and you know it kind of gets back to so important whether it's a man or woman that stay at home person i think more important than you know especially as times unfold and there's so much pressure to earn but man i'm glad my wife stayed home and thank god let's go there let's go how did you meet your wife yes let's start there yes i've been married 37 years i know i've said hi to her before but let's hear it okay when did you meet her okay so um i guess like 85 86 so right out of college right her sister was uh ran the soccer team for james madison so we'd share fields and she was just this beautiful cool girl did she go there oh yeah she was she would play soccer for james madison okay my wife's sister yeah okay okay so we were just great buddies great buddies and our groups hung out together and you know love her still to this day they live near us you know what i mean um and we graduated i don't know i went up to new york with my

great buddies and our groups hung out together and you know love her still to this day they live near us you know what i mean um and we graduated i don't know i went up to new york with my buddies doing our thing and she's like hey come down we're having a party um you know where she lived at the time you know where where was that like i think it was fairfax virginia okay yeah they're virginia girls um and again i'm at the party got a bunch of friends life is good this beauty walks in the house starts shaking i think my dad said you guys the energy changed at least for me and having him excuse me have said that i i knew something was different at that point and then how it unfolded so very quickly we knew she was flying up to new york shortly thereafter wow yeah so it was instantaneous and by the way you guys i'm sure for her as it was for me i was popping around soho Greenwich village going into the city nick games taking clients out to dinner on cisco i wasn't looking for love to yeah to get married yeah you really wasn't we're ready to settle down i wasn't ready to settle down that could be a little bit of caused some of the immaturity or back to what caused some of well how old were you when you got married so 87 so i was 26 she was 25 yeah you guys were young we yeah yeah that's even i can't imagine but yeah you're right it's young we my first kid was born when i was 30 so i felt good about that because we were able to do a bunch but i wasn't ready i wasn't and by the way not mature enough too because commitment made a lot of sense but there were other priorities and what they said when they were reading vows didn't make sense until you go through it yeah yeah so it's true i we always say we feel like we grew up together

were other priorities and what they said when they were reading vows didn't make sense until you go through it yeah yeah so it's true i we always say we feel like we grew up together because we got married saying you're 20s you grow so much in your 20s you change your frontal lobe doesn't even close to your 26 i think that's true you know we got married before our frontal lobes well we were we were married had a kid we had Nathan at 26 at a young age and then had Kaya at 29 and then popped up with Dylan at 38 yeah i know i can still remember that that's our bonus but you'd love being a mom from the get go from the get go so you were that i wanted that in fact we had a discussion before we got married and i made it very clear that i wanted to be a stay at home mom because my childhood was total chaos my parents divorced and married other people divorced and married again and i had step siblings and half siblings and moving it was just chaos and so i wanted stability and i wanted to give my children the childhood i wanted i wanted to make cookies and have them there when they got home from school i wanted the traditional 1950s quote unquote norman Rockefeller yeah i wanted it i wanted it and he wanted that because he grew up like that his mom was home till he went to junior high um so he had his parents were still married um he had a very traditional upbringing so we we were like-minded and when we got married 23 we didn't have any money like we lived in a house that was probably literally the size of not much bigger than this room not much bigger than this room when we brought Nathan home including the kitchen yeah when he and we're not exaggerating when he we brought Nathan home his crib was like here um like in in the there was a room

Nathan home including the kitchen yeah when he and we're not exaggerating when he we brought Nathan home his crib was like here um like in in the there was a room his crib was there so i stayed home even then like i i went we went without for me to stay home because that's how important it was to both of us i just couldn't put him in daycare none of that so and then we built the career together and we had a pretty mean independent streak too i think we were living in Oregon at the time yeah we we could have probably chosen some easier routes but we were pretty independent we could have lived in Michigan or Jersey near family and probably had more help but we were doing it on our own you know what though you were madly in love yes you had a child together yeah had to be one of the best times in your life right it was it was great like especially Nathan being born was i i don't even know it was magical it's weird we were kids raising kids and it was like i don't know i feel like my whole life is blessed since we've had a family so to go back and pick that as the best time i don't know today was pretty special i mean what a what an amazing when you think about it because you obviously weren't earning no no no you lived in but my point is how cool i can just remember that just being with similar a little little bit different but very similar well i think part of marriage is building the life together so many younger generations i think and i think a lot of it has to do with social media and comparing your life to others so easily um but i think they think they need to have the big house and the cars and all the things before they get married and it's like no some of this is you build it together there is something about starting out

think they need to have the big house and the cars and all the things before they get married and it's like no some of this is you build it together there is something about starting out small and doing it that's the marriage that's the foundation and um that creates that strength and those ups and downs and that adversity and all that so it's i mean it's wonderful once you get all those things it's lovely there's that's great and that's the goal but um doing it together you go i think you go through things that keep you together you know instead of just having it all and then i don't know having it all there can sometimes really create yeah problems having a lot of money not that that but i mean yeah you live in an affluent area i live in a fluent area and a lot of the kids that have problems they haven't been told to do chores or haven't had you know what i mean there's there's there's issues never you have to have that work ethic and you have to have an appreciation for money and the cost of things it doesn't and that and earn it because then you um you enjoy it but if you're just giving things then you really never understand how to be happy about something you know what i mean i do i do and that that's great because that kind of levels things out if you think about it you don't want to always struggle but at the same time yeah you just want it to work but you do want that appreciation yeah you want your kids to be good you want to be good you know again we were down to earth yeah absolutely and real when uh so you guys got together well you're going to the party you went to the party he met her and then she came up yeah came up did she move up uh we're shortly and then did you guys live together yeah and then from how long

you're going to the party you went to the party he met her and then she came up yeah came up did she move up uh we're shortly and then did you guys live together yeah and then from how long was it from the time you met who got married less than two years not even it happened quick and her family was from um northern virginia okay but what's wild and this is why it worked out again so fortunate when you think about it so that now we had two kids little ones in new york i'm living out on the north shore it's a great friends and still to this day wonderful but i'm going into new york city going back and new york is lovely it is is not having been a grind man it's a grind so her dad her stepdad really just phenomenal man anyway was very intelligent i had a company that built uh intelligence and cockpits during the reagan era so he software did different things so that these cockpits had intelligence um sold the company did very well and moved to of all things cape coral to start got into real estate eventually moved his way down into fort myers and so here we are after x amount of years in new york and we're ready and he's like come on down and cisco was like i don't care where you live it was meant that's great yeah so i went from that wonderful experience but burning out as you said it was i was you know what i mean the rat race was and you were in there during the julianna years right i was so that's when new york was wonderful yeah because i would yeah started with the rainbow coalition with david dinkins that administration was not a good one in my opinion no disrespect but julianna came in and cleaned things up and it was nice and i'll tell you there's you know it was great i still go back and forth and we would go in we bring the kids i

opinion no disrespect but julianna came in and cleaned things up and it was nice and i'll tell you there's you know it was great i still go back and forth and we would go in we bring the kids i would go with the kids by myself i think the toys are us and that whole times where it was different there was things you could do with kids then absolutely you can't say it's changed for the better as of now late so that's a shame it is it breaks my heart it'll it'll be a circle though because when i was a kid we'd go into the city and it was 70s there were hookers on the street guys selling drugs squeegee guys it was fun being in high school doing that but then i went to college came back and julianna you had taken over and it was like disney so we're back to that squeegee mode right now i'm hoping no i don't know it's a little crazy there right now i'm hoping it'll sort itself out well it doesn't certainly sound like what's going on in the the potential mayor uh anyway you just want safety right you want to be able to you know take your kids into the city and experience great and not that you kill stamp but you gotta admit you better be you better be smart about it right were you were you there then for 9 11 or had you moved south move a year before okay cool terrible yeah it's horrible we were so glad to to move and we still go back once a year twice a year dependent upon we got some good friends but living in napells the last 25 years has been nothing but but beautiful it's gotten too busy yeah since the pandemic everywhere in florida right so everywhere in florida yeah but but again roke before you guys got married like how i said brian and i had that talk about how we envision raising children and then i'd be home and he'd work

so everywhere in florida yeah but but again roke before you guys got married like how i said brian and i had that talk about how we envision raising children and then i'd be home and he'd work did you and your wife have a discussion about roles or how you saw each of you playing out your role in the marriage no and would you say that um that was needed or you should have or did you got did just happen naturally for you guys happened naturally but i think if that discussion was had it would probably been a little bit better and the only reason i say that is she worked for city corps at the time city and she was she did well she did well and she wanted kids but you know everything changes the moment you have a kid and then like i said i wasn't you know a couple miles down the street right so you know for it worked so i think that was a difficult change but she just loved being a mom so that all worked out but that discussion probably would have been more prudent we just fell in love and so let's go would you say that that's pretty common in your generation that just to go for it and not have those that the communicating beforehand about those things wasn't discussed as much maybe i think so i think you're probably right i don't know as much about others but i do think it's probably that's real because if not people would talk about it more now like you know what i mean yeah yeah you know yeah you know it makes so when did you become a communicator because you probably weren't in the beginning right when did you in his marriage in his marriage yeah yeah probably she was a better listener i talked too much so i always thought i was a good communicator brian yeah but but um i think we had that we always loved each other

his marriage yeah yeah probably she was a better listener i talked too much so i always thought i was a good communicator brian yeah but but um i think we had that we always loved each other immensely and we always thought that you know you could always work through things but again i think we could have been me in particular more intelligent about some of the choices that i made you know i was loving life you know just doing things and putting it out there and at some point especially you know you can't come in late from the city you know but did you i think you've alluded to that you've got did you go through that phase where your your wife's home with the kids you're in the city doing a nice sales job yeah taking people out entertaining clients in the best city in the world yep at the time for sure right you're going to nyx games probably there were probably some hot clubs like studio 54 i don't know limelight was it so what's the deal there like what was that phase like for you what what were you guys what were you up to it was wonderful and a lot of times she participated but it was the 80s 90s and a lot of bad stuff happened with drugs yeah yeah yeah the coke years and you know i got caught up in it a little bit and it was tough because you know i have an addictive personality so that that is something i look back on it not proud of but you know it is what it is what it is yeah but got through it thankfully things went good but point is you guys there'd be friday afternoons you're on wall street street closes they've run out the bar restaurants and you'd go down there and i'm on that relationship guy they'd like to meet they'd have a room in the restaurant's a party room yeah yeah do you remember that kind of i

restaurants and you'd go down there and i'm on that relationship guy they'd like to meet they'd have a room in the restaurant's a party room yeah yeah do you remember that kind of i mean well the seaport area right that wall street's the seaport kind of area that party's there it's that i used to go in there as a kid we brought her there yeah brought the kids there we'd get on the seaport so cool all those restaurants all those bars it's a fun place to be yeah yeah i just wish that that was the little different times because you can't call you know especially or even if you're drinking too much and you got to go back two hours you know you're not in the healthiest of environments and i'm not boo-hooing about it but i mean those choices if you look back i would now go a lot better and i think that i shared that with my children and they made better choices back to you talk about my father's generation and mother's great parents they never told me a thing about it yeah and i would have been the guy that had been good to tell about it yeah you know what i mean about hey you know getting a girl pregnant or the the the i never had those discussions you guys i don't i think that's their generation there was it was and even in your generation like you guys i i think you talking to your kids about this that's probably kind of unusual for your generation because i don't think your generation really talked gen x is really the first generation where we're like we're talking about it all because no one talked to us about anything you know like our parents his parents didn't talk well you had silent generation and boomer maybe they both were silent generation i had boomer in our situation our parents talked to us about money about getting a girl pregnant

didn't talk well you had silent generation and boomer maybe they both were silent generation i had boomer in our situation our parents talked to us about money about getting a girl pregnant about anything menopause like you know anything that's coming up so we went in blind so now we're all making it a point let's talk so with our kids we're like we're gonna talk about it all even if it's uncomfortable or even if just so that we're a resource for you so i think but i you doing that with you your kids i think that was um you were progressive for your generation i think that you did that because i don't think a lot did yeah i'm glad to hear that because i think a lot of it stemmed out of i don't want them because i feel so lucky that some things that could have gone bad didn't and sometimes bad things happen to very good people yeah yeah so i didn't you know if you can limit that potential possibility i mean think about now with the drugs like the fentanyl they're talking you imagine these wonderful young kids make one mistake one mistake it happens so one to one of our son's friends and it was one you know i can't imagine and i would it just it's beyond me to think that because i tell you how many mistakes have been made by me my friends you think you're just smoking a joint but it's laced with fentanyl now all of a sudden you're phoning at the mouth dying that's fucked up that's crazy tougher time so we've talked i've talked to dylan about you can't take anything from anyone because it could have i say anything candy anything you're right you can't you know i mean the conversations we've had with him about that i never even had with nathan and kaya that i'm having to have with him it's it's crazy it's mind-blowing honestly

right you can't you know i mean the conversations we've had with him about that i never even had with nathan and kaya that i'm having to have with him it's it's crazy it's mind-blowing honestly the topics you have to cover nowadays and maybe it's it's always been that way and we to your point we're a generation that talks about it but it's crazy our parents didn't talk to us and now we're the the depths we go to it to cover everything that's not safe you guys that's no it's that's the problem and you you know doesn't mean it's not here or where i'm in but i'm saying anybody could make that mistake and now you're paying with your life and it's just not right so we have to address this as a society and fix it because that's not fair to them even if they made a mistake because haven't we all made we've all we've all made mistakes you should have a space to make mistakes you should not have it be life generally that's the way life seemed to have been and you know a safe space to to make those mistakes i guess i have a question um so i have to do this sometimes i have a question because she's ready to roll um in talking to your kids was that driven by you and your wife say together or more her because ours was definitely driven more by nicole right she's the the better parent but how would that what about your dynamics i guess mutual yeah you know it's interesting and again so cool that it happened this way but my son and i've been like this from the get-go it's just been that way still are um my wife and my daughter best friends they just had their bachelorette party for my daughter out in colorado outside of denver last week and a weekend ago and 12 wonderful girls flew into for my daughter and they invited my wife that's wonderful so when you

colorado outside of denver last week and a weekend ago and 12 wonderful girls flew into for my daughter and they invited my wife that's wonderful so when you have those kind of you know that's the reward yeah i stayed at my son's house and helped with two kids and it was the greatest few days to see this so i take that so oh but i think that comes from the hard work that yeah you all did and again just like you said about nicole i agree sure she's probably she's better parent she's definitely smarter yeah but you know i think i might be more fun to be honest with you yeah and i think that's the mix but yeah that i credit her so much because these kids turned out well but i did my part there's no question yeah but she was in it day one and they talked to her yeah they talked to her and they allowed that they'd invite us to school they invite my i'm telling you yeah my son i was responsible for him staying an extra year at university of central florida i loved everything about his college my wife and i'd go up they'd ourselves front and center whatever thing but but you're in orlando yeah what a boy i loved it i bummed out when he graduated yeah i swear to god i can relate my i would i'd go up to my son's frat parties for dad's weekend oh yeah so he had a reputation in the frat is that the greatest so you can get that you did something right doesn't know yeah but but that but that's not again it's earned it's earned from the time 100 yeah and you guys had a partnership you worked together all those years raising your children um as far as becoming a parent i always say that that's an emotion that you don't have until that baby's born and then it's a love you didn't know it existed and then it changes you forever and

becoming a parent i always say that that's an emotion that you don't have until that baby's born and then it's a love you didn't know it existed and then it changes you forever and it just changes the whole trajectory of everything hundred percent and it's the greatest thing ever and the hardest and the hardest because it takes so much effort and time to do it right i think but it's so rewarding you know what absolutely if you don't you never know yeah i got good news for you nicole great news for you it's better being a grandpa everyone says that it's true i can't imagine it's true and it doesn't mean even my kids who we adore and they adore us you're gonna you're gonna i can't wait you it you can't believe that it's the next generation of you yeah you see it of them they see it in you and they're just like so dad this is the way you were with me and it's just and then you're just like you'll have the time and energy you know you might be a little older when your youngest has the kids you too yeah yeah but oh but you are gonna it from my perspective i'm glad to hear that you say maybe it's because you're not as stressed you're better off financially you have some choices we happen to live near one another which is obviously the best you're probably going to want that yeah you know what i mean yeah absolutely but i've never ever ever experienced anything like this you know i cannot wait i cannot wait she's so our oldest and his girlfriend got a fish together paid a fish she wants them to go out of town so we can babysit the fish that's how much i can't we have a storage unit and half of it is filled with toys of my kids that are for our grave so we pay monthly on it but you know what though you know what you probably you

we have a storage unit and half of it is filled with toys of my kids that are for our grave so we pay monthly on it but you know what though you know what you probably you probably you know and i'd love to hear because by the way i listened to podcast one where you talked about the upbringings and what you went through as opposed to what you went through because i would truthfully say thank god because you know you never know right doesn't mean your parents weren't good whatever but two stable parents two good people was so wonderful so for you to make the choices kudos because you could also be tainted where people feel they got short change or whatever the case may be and you know you still own your own destiny but it's a little bit harder yeah yeah maybe a lot a bit harder but i mean what's better and what there's nothing there's nothing better and i know what i see it on your face so i can't wait i can't wait well he'll he'll tell you you know he'll tell you as soon as we get news well not only that he will be it too oh he will be it too i can't wait oh he's gonna be yeah no i i and you know what you guys both you complimented me you complimented your wife and i do think that everything you said about the mother in the home i agree but i do 100 feel that having a father and in a child's life is the game changer i for a son and a daughter for a son and a daughter it's a game change whether you're still married to the father or not the father being involved with the children is a game changer i think the mother's given has to be right yeah i mean really does although there are some women that um aren't understood you know yeah but yeah that's the base yeah but that father especially i think with girls especially

right yeah i mean really does although there are some women that um aren't understood you know yeah but yeah that's the base yeah but that father especially i think with girls especially with self-esteem um with um believing in themselves with knowing how to pick a partner having that father in their lives is such an aid they're not trying to fill that void of not having a father i would make an argument and i and i'm not saying i would win this argument but i would put up the argument that the father's more important but i would expect the mother to counter that the mom's more important right you agree to disagree right that we're both important but dads are super critical i think it's a it's an awesome responsibility we have to honor and and put work into and evolve and all of that it's critical i think yeah i can't i can't disagree be critical but i don't uh i would say that it's gonna sound a little odd but i mean my mother having a baby and developing inside of them just is amazing and not that you can't have the same connection because i think we do but i also think it's different 100 and i think the mother is that and it's both so we're talking that's what i'm saying yeah you can't but point is i do and you think about it a lot of the issues we have you got some strong mothers that thank god hold together things and then when you don't have a thing statistically there's no you're 100 on point yeah but um you both just think it works you guys you're gonna have this beautiful child let's just make it work yeah yeah that's the case so your so your son went to ucf yeah where'd your daughter go florida gulf coast okay so they were both in florida and now they both live close florida close so that's wonderful so it's just you just keep

your son went to ucf yeah where'd your daughter go florida gulf coast okay so they were both in florida and now they both live close florida close so that's wonderful so it's just you just keep hitting the jackpot you know what i mean i'm pinching myself yeah because it's you know what work did you want um maybe more grandchildren um because now you're at two right and it too so a boy or a boy two and a half year old cutest thing you've ever seen in this four-month-old and then it's the four-month-old a boy or girl girl oh jemma jemma and it's so funny you know babies right you said you're great you know and i happen to be i like the baby stage a lot never had a problem with mine and obviously them you know diapers crunk dumb batter but we walk around and all i see my wife do she's holding this little chunk of mugs and just kissing the head yeah and i'm sitting there going that's what you used to do with alexandra and it's i've never seen her happier yeah again i take yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh is your daughter and daughter-in-law are they stay at home my daughter is not she's a counselor florida gulf coast oh my daughter and she doesn't have a child yet my daughter she's getting married in january okay so really good young man so january okay um but yeah my daughter-in-law stopped working right before the child this woman was made to mother okay and do you know anything about because they're uh are they millennial or gen z when were they born um 93 and i think she was maybe 95 or 94 okay so millennial they're no yeah they're millennials yeah because nathan's the he's the oldest gen z and he's 97 expert in their millennials okay so they're millennial parents so or not parents your son is a millennial parent and with your

because nathan's the he's the oldest gen z and he's 97 expert in their millennials okay so they're millennial parents so or not parents your son is a millennial parent and with your daughter-in-law um have you observed do you think their communication is way more involved about roles parenting um raising a family than like even your generation or our generation have you observed any of that or gotten that vibe they interesting because they're really good but they don't put it out there as much as i put it out there they're very different they're more my son was much more to himself growing up about relationships and stuff like that i think i made him uncomfortable even though he was fine with it and ends up being good talking about some of the things that we talked about i think they must obviously do that well i don't see them doing that outwardly when we're around right but i see two parents that are joyous i noticed that this past week what was just me and my kid and sure it's a lot of work but it's joyful with them you know yeah and a lot of work i was someday come i was done yeah you know that two and a half year old yeah oh it's the cutest but a lot of work they have some juice they have some juice yeah but to your point they seem more i don't they're not as outwardly about it um i think my daughter with my wife is very good about going deep but my son's not his actions speak volumes yeah yeah yeah but um you know he's probably they're probably they're more private about they're more private about it but they're working as partners it's obvious that they're working in harmony yeah yeah and i feel that they're supporting one another very well and you know what for what it's worth i think he feels the same way making sure that his

they're working in harmony yeah yeah and i feel that they're supporting one another very well and you know what for what it's worth i think he feels the same way making sure that his wonderful wife has everything she needs to be a great mom because that's what's most important to him that's wonderful have you yeah have you seen has he um does he do more domestic stuff than like our generation your generation is the guy because millennial men will do more like um do dishes vacuum do diapers like they'll help out more around the house that generation then gen x men and boomer men did have you observed any of that we're the we're we're the difference like i'm big into that always oh really you've always helped oh well yeah you know five kids seven years oh true we're doing dishes we had a regiment and i think it's very important there's a lot of talk about successful people they've all done chores in that way forget about the money you make whatever they've done chores yeah yeah you have to have some responsibility feeling you're part of a team yes that kind of that's what we've always told our kids is you're part of the helping the household run yeah yeah so important a lot of statistics are coming out after they look over all these years it's interesting but she's real good i mean it's bedlam right now in a good way of course beautiful 80 pound antony and shepherd who used to be the king of the castle because everybody you know and they got the two and a half year old who's cutest can be but oh boy and then this little four month old so they're a beautiful home nice home but but you know what one more kid we got to get a new house it's not big enough um i think she's real good about keeping that up oh yeah he

four month old so they're a beautiful home nice home but but you know what one more kid we got to get a new house it's not big enough um i think she's real good about keeping that up oh yeah he um is a partner my wife's brother never got married great guy has a kitchen bath and cabinet company and they're doing a good job and he's a partner in that firm so um it's nice being an entrepreneur he's done it now eight nine ten years um my brother-in-law's in his later 50s it's you know it's going to be austin's business or oh that's wonderful yeah it's you with another partner this gentleman that that that's their third wonderful but austin so he gets up and out early and works but comes home at four and he's on duty from then that's wonderful you know the weekends they seem to make it work they really do that's but i think to answer your question i don't think he's doing a lot of things around there he's you know when i was there with him he was pretty good but i think based on the list that was on the refrigerator he had the instructions on how to do it right and he properly followed them yeah that's funny um now i was gonna you had mentioned about we've talked about your parents but we haven't discussed um were they around for your children when they were born like were they grandparents for your children were they were they happened to live in Naples until they got older and one had Alzheimer's one had a multitude of maladies that ended up being dementia and we moved them up to Virginia where there was two sisters that were great with them a brother that lived kind of close as opposed to just me down here but they were able to experience it but it's different because seeing her my wife's family they were all about it you

a brother that lived kind of close as opposed to just me down here but they were able to experience it but it's different because seeing her my wife's family they were all about it you know the big Italian Bernie Panella did well he was a smart man had beautiful homes life was good they're calling you hey you want to take Jersey out we'll take the kids my parents were burned out yeah love the kids no problem did it but they were burned out yeah yeah so were they more like they would visit and then yeah yeah they were like that they were like that and it was cool because they actually lived in this really nice community for several years on the same street and my father and mother and my wife's stepfather and mother were great friends oh that's awesome yeah that's wonderful it was and my dad had so much respect for her stepfather he was a really smart man and he would be that guy that you'd want to sit down with him and hey dad i'm gonna buy a car hey dad how do i finance this or i'm putting this guy he was the rock but anyway my dad loved and you know he sold to the military and then my dad was military it was uh it was a wild thing and that was enjoyable because we'd have these parties and everybody came together that's lovely actually the hands-on stuff like we're getting the kids as much as possible and i'm taking them to the golf course insurance is wheeling around we're having fun with it my parents are like yeah yeah yeah not bad they just wouldn't no i think there's two approaches two approaches and um and it's interesting too when you see what your parents you don't know how your parents are going to react right until you have children then you're like oh okay you're you're like that you so now did her family also live in Naples

see what your parents you don't know how your parents are going to react right until you have children then you're like oh okay you're you're like that you so now did her family also live in Naples uh yeah matter of fact sister that i went to college with lived in Naples lives in Naples and her parents too yep yep that's so wonderful remember they got them down here no i know but the um parents though their her parents too also lived down here they moved first yeah they were the parents moved correct correct okay so the pair oh i thought it was just the sister so the parents moved first then the brother came down oh the brother too you know 30 years and 20 some years ago because i was the last and that was 25 which seems like yesterday yeah that's what happens you get i don't we've been here a while and it's like almost 20 and it goes so fast so fast so when did your parents come down um you know they were that was probably like um we've been here 25 years maybe five years after that they started in cape coral bought a couple properties moved down and that's where they all kind of happened in Naples where they were all together and did any of your siblings also move down no they're they're they're mainly uh either uh richmond virginia outside of Baltimore ones in south carolina it's a little bit dispersed now but we still see each other fair amount it was you know with their parents passing a couple years ago there's a little bit of a miss now because there was always a reason to be there but the connection is still great that's wonderful and with social media and everything too that helps so much you know keep in touch and keep in contact when did your parents um who came down with dementia first my father and how old was he late 70s that's

and everything too that helps so much you know keep in touch and keep in contact when did your parents um who came down with dementia first my father and how old was he late 70s that's early it feels early and it was a rough 10 years he had it for so he lived till late 80s yeah and when about what about your mom she had it later than him but she had all these issues broken backs she she unfortunately such a wonderful woman fell into just it started with back and then multiple surgeries then the medicine impacts yeah and then you know so just turned into more and then eventually dementia but my dad we had really good medical care so he was on a couple of the medicines air accept and i forget the other one early so it wasn't like he wasn't cognitive he was but he wasn't he got quiet because he wouldn't remember what he was saying in sentences and he didn't want to feel like that guy so he got quiet but he'd always remember you and so forth and he was this guy like i said he knew it with his the wife from the get my mother from the get-go he died three months to the day after she died and he had no reason to be i mean physically he was still yeah okay but you lose that will to live where they married do you know yeah they were married in 1959 so yeah so that had to be what is that 41 years today so 60 something late 60 60 i 60 yeah that's amazing and i think they had a really good relationship i really do did you guys use the services down in south florida then dementia right yeah we were able to fortunate that financially we could afford a concierge doctor who happens to be a friend who happened to be brilliant to be quite honest with you um and he he took care of his care until it got to the point that a lot of it

afford a concierge doctor who happens to be a friend who happened to be brilliant to be quite honest with you um and he he took care of his care until it got to the point that a lot of it here i was still working still having kids and my parents had a large house and i'd get calls all the time certain things needed to be maintained and of course you want to help them out but it got to be a lot my mom was going to either hospitals or rehab centers and interesting point because my wife god bless her said jd you've changed you're taking this too much you're being short with your family something's got to give did a webex call with the four brothers and sisters they took over and like wonderful brothers and sisters would and you know sold their house moved them up there the two girls girls will take care of you yeah care that not that the boys won't but guess what i'll take my two sisters manage my care i'm going to take i'll take my daughter managing my care but yeah so that was tough to see that but thank god they had great care that's good a lot of love but god no i'm sure it's something you can't describe to someone how torturous that is torturous good word until they've gone through you've gone through it and and just it's like a double death right because you're losing them and in real time watching it and then you lose them yeah um it's hard for me to say especially with my dad because he's the one who taught my mom was big supportive but this faith thing has changed my life in so many good ways and doesn't matter what faith you have turn out to be the person that what my father tried to us or did with us and a lot of it was spirituality but it was more your actions that's all you know that's yeah that's what i care about and

have turn out to be the person that what my father tried to us or did with us and a lot of it was spirituality but it was more your actions that's all you know that's yeah that's what i care about and that's what yeah so when did your eucharist eucharistic minister correct correct when did you start on that journey um directly tied to my parents um it was really important that they get the body of christ in their various facilities they were graduated so they started and you know where it was you could still live in your same thing and moved up you could live in the same thing but you had to have help and then they had to you know that kind of thing and um these wonderful people would come into the facilities and they'd give the body of christ to my dad or my mom or even before it got too bad they'd have this this beautiful group that would just join in a little little room that they had there and all the the people that were going through the same things they'd have a little reading and it was was uh maybe a song or two or whatever and that meant a lot so when when i saw that and got to talk to them it was kind of moving and then you you know as a catholic you believe that is the body of christ and i do and to see that miracle happen at that point i felt that that's something that i wanted to do um for for both those reasons is probably the most rewarding but it's it's also a little bit challenging you did you do it for them or that was just your motivation after that to to be able to do that for others like he means literally did you give them the eucharist yourself my parents no it was no no thanks for clarifying no i didn't that would have been great that would have been great yeah but um it's the greatest it's

you give them the eucharist yourself my parents no it was no no thanks for clarifying no i didn't that would have been great that would have been great yeah but um it's the greatest it's probably the the greatest thing but it's also just a little bit you know you you're seeing what's happening and as you're on that road when it goes down there there's some great discussions you have but it's also just to get an older process and it being you know you try to avoid it as much as you can yeah but now i'm right in the middle of that and you meet some good people and have lost yeah and it's uh it's uh it's a little challenging but probably one of the most wonderful things i've done it's a commitment you know my sundays are definitely not you know what do you do are you going to hospitals and no you not no i what i do is i actually go to various people's homes okay either generally can't make it to church so the church has a program that you will come and you will you know do a reading for them or talk to them it doesn't have to be this big grandiose thing yeah but the reality is you tell them what's happening the message from that sunday and then you give them the body of christ that's wild it is it's it's probably you know we've done a lot of things my wife and i she's got a good heart we've done a lot of things on the outside this is probably one of the more rewarding in terms of the connection because one you know i'm sitting there driving around and i'm like this is unbelievable man i've always taken it and i get it but i'm like you know what man i the guy that i'm giving this to or the woman i'm giving this to this is the body of christ man so yeah so when you leave are you leaving um energized and ready for

but i'm like you know what man i the guy that i'm giving this to or the woman i'm giving this to this is the body of christ man so yeah so when you leave are you leaving um energized and ready for the day and you feel good or do you leave kind of like maybe not necessarily with the heavy heart but like a real reflective mind of like wow that was pretty heavy and you know what i mean there's a difference there one's like let's go take on the day that was amazing the other is that was amazing wow i need to kind of gather my thoughts love the question because i now actually think of that because one always believed always believed but you know there's nobody i love more than jesus christ there's nobody you know and as much as i love my wife and kids it's hard to even but it has brought me that much closer to i believe as you know the savior and it's the greatest thing the greatest thing and it's the thing that makes most sense in the world that to me sometimes makes me a little bit down you know what i mean yeah and being able to have that closeness to that has been super rewarding um the greatest i've met some some good people and i like it selfishly sometimes i sit there and go it's sunday i'm limited yeah uh it makes me feel bad that i feel that way but but we're all sinners exactly and i don't really bad um but i do feel good because i know it's super important to them and again i'm sitting there driving with the picks they're called and and it is the body of christ and i took that not for granted because i've always respected and cherish that but at the same time i'm driving around and i'm giving that to somebody to experience that is is a beautiful thing and that's why i think priests and servers and deacons feel this thing because there's

same time i'm driving around and i'm giving that to somebody to experience that is is a beautiful thing and that's why i think priests and servers and deacons feel this thing because there's especially priests think what you got to give up and a lot of things but i think that that is probably what's a big thing about it think about what they're doing burying people and counseling people that have had tragedies yep so anyway great question i i i don't know if i leave energized i leave feeling closer to christ and that's more important to me than anything it's almost like you become a brinks truck it's that valuable it's more valuable than you know the brinks trucks that have the money the armor truck but but you're yeah you're you're it's more valuable than what's in a brinks truck you know it's the body of christ 100 is what i'm it's like you know you can't you have to be careful with that you know there's there's certain things around it you can't keep it overnight and now if you drop it or um there's all there it's the body of christ and there is there there's history behind it but yeah you're right and that feels it feels really really good it's an awesome responsibility but it really is but i mean it's amazing that um that you're doing that and giving it's such an incredible gift you're giving to people and i'm sure it does bring you so much closer to your own faith it does and that makes me super happy because i always believed and always tried to pay forward but the reality of it is i want that closer because that's goodness and sometimes like you know like i've had to take off certain applications social media platforms because i'm getting drawn into police chases or fights yeah and i understand it's like healthy no no you have to

you know like i've had to take off certain applications social media platforms because i'm getting drawn into police chases or fights yeah and i understand it's like healthy no no you have to be careful where you can mentally and spiritually for sure 100 percent have you been there when people have passed you give less rights no no no that's just the priest right that's correct that's the sacrament right i just a quickie because this will comes full circle and it's just amazing to me i had a gentleman in my neighborhood whose wife i know because we did the uh h o a in our neighborhood together she was real nice lady and when she heard that i became a eucharistic minister she's like hey do you mind being take care of my uh husband who's a nice guy he had some heart problems like 80 so i got to know him through her and you know we knew he wasn't in great shape but you know he's 80 and he got around well anyway i come or a call to say hey i'm on my way she goes don't come he passed away and i'm like oh i'm so sorry i didn't know but you know whatever and she goes i gotta tell you something and i'm like what she goes jadey his name was maurice her name's alicia she said he's in bed and he calls me and he goes honey lay down and hold their hands and he died holding her hand and they were kind of like what we were talking about you feel about your wife or whatever he knew it was coming wow and he said hold my hand and i it's hard it's almost hard to believe but this this i know this woman um wow yeah so wow so to be able to be feeling things like that and i know they were good acumen people that were successful great grandparents but the net of it is and i'm sure they had bumps in the road but that

to be able to be feeling things like that and i know they were good acumen people that were successful great grandparents but the net of it is and i'm sure they had bumps in the road but that that bond through their faith the guy knows it's coming hold my hand yeah what it throws me away that's amazing that's amazing true story so it's you're right it's amazing that's that's what i would want i would want that if i had to pick we would go at the exactly same time that's wonderful that's that's exactly you guys have such good energy 100 or 100 years old our kids are fine everything's good okay we're done i'm not dying so if i'm catholic just you know so i um in a pinch if it was like the middle of the desert could you give less rights or can you can't you can't you can offer comfort of course but you cannot do the performance the sacrament what is what is the the i was a race catholic i i'm i'm not at this point um what is the significance of the last rights in in that context i'll let you know that it has to be done by a priest i guess well i mean you know sacrament you're being yeah it's a sacrament you're passing on but you know you're forgiven you know that kind of a thing honestly i wish i knew more but um it's it's part of the process and you're at you're you're you're with a holy person as you are passing on yeah and it's a beautiful thing and again i think if there's any thing you want to say or anything you ask even carrying with you or any oh yeah oh is it almost like a not a last confessional but not if you're caught i guess you're not right you're not lucid at that point well you could be it's a good point honestly i'm not aware enough but yeah i want to even find out because the great thing about this

caught i guess you're not right you're not lucid at that point well you could be it's a good point honestly i'm not aware enough but yeah i want to even find out because the great thing about this journey too is i've learned so much more and i've never made the time and i love the stories i love the history oh if you take the time to really learn about it's fascinating it's really fascinating but like the sacrament's like baptism communion reconciliation confession marriage um last rights confirmation you got them yeah yeah that's it right last rights is is one of those right okay it's on that level it's on that level yeah yeah exactly so i think that's i've thought about that when i've been at church i've thought maybe in my future i'll do that the chris is probably one of the better things i've ever done one connection to my parents how about that yeah but more importantly oh my god i love everything about what this guy did and stands for and i hope we no matter what fate no matter what color let's just let's do what this guy was talking about and yeah love it on man and and and you know in our time and place and don't you think you're doing you we've talked about family that's what you've done to yours that's what i've tried to do to mine i've always told brian because he's not a practicing catholic but i'm like you're more catholic than a lot of catholics because by his actions yeah because he's lived the catholic but that's my that's sort of the rub for me that's my problem well he has i know i am but i it's yeah you know he you know it does take effort and there's something to say about that but at the same time that's not what matters it matters your actions and who you are yeah because you know this is why

it does take effort and there's something to say about that but at the same time that's not what matters it matters your actions and who you are yeah because you know this is why i'm saying all this faith fighting and race stuff i get that it's part of life but when you peel that back yeah so you are man and you know anything you don't have to go to church to do that or you don't have to do it kind of where i fall on it yeah yeah but but i mean you might feel better making the efforts i know i always feel closer to jesus when i'm doing those things you know what i mean i've got a wife that if there's a hurricane or a flood or something she's on the phone getting stuff together and then you go do something and i go god i feel so good about what we're doing but closer to you and at the same time you helping somebody how do you feel i don't think there's much better so yeah the only reason i'm saying that brian that does take some effort goodwill i do think i know that um you know between naples and here there's a large uh native american reservation the mikasuki tribe is out there i think um and i think you've told me how you've done some volunteer work there right have you done like the kitchen or soup type of thing right tell her about that because i remember you telling me about that it's like wow that's really cool but i remember you also saying it's kind of heavy because it's oh god yeah it's a makli so it's not so okay there is a casino now in mak amakali but you know what i mean but it's the city of amakli have you guys ever been to oh yeah that's where i have it's i've been in the area we've hiked down there i've gone to like everglade city i've done the whole oh yeah that whole area we've come in from what is it 41 uh

been to oh yeah that's where i have it's i've been in the area we've hiked down there i've gone to like everglade city i've done the whole oh yeah that whole area we've come in from what is it 41 uh between you know the old highway well if you were on alligator alley guys coming yeah yeah that area it's exit 80 okay and you go five miles what is that i think it's north right is that well north definitely west not not not you know no it's an east anyway the point of it is it is a where a lot of the migrants um are are picking that's right that's what it was so it's a lot of that and you know because the casino's there there's all those issues with that but it's very poor it's very poor so it was a church related thing it's called the and they're wonderful with their outreach and so forth so interestingly enough that's one of the things i was able to do with my dad early on before he started getting sick so it was it was you know doing it with your family was really cool another way you can feel closer but feeding's always such a good thing yeah you know and you also run into a lot of these businesses that supported this guadalupe center you know like a public you know you don't know if you know what's behind the scenes but they're pretty good they're pretty good man and i appreciate when that truck rolls in and it says it's not expired but they're not selling anymore yeah someone's eating it so anyway i really like that side of it so that's what it was it was a mockly and yeah there's a lot of needs there it's a it's a rough and tough kind of situation yeah we have a place here called boca helping hands in public there for it's for the homeless and um people who are in need of food publics delivers so much there uh it's amazing like i seem to do

have a place here called boca helping hands in public there for it's for the homeless and um people who are in need of food publics delivers so much there uh it's amazing like i seem to do it right that founder yeah yeah yeah no it's great they've become part of the community they are part of the world supporting part of the florida community they hire a lot of different kind of folks you know i mean some with special needs yes i like that and hopefully it's a it's good but i mean yeah no it's a good company so as your um oh i was going to ask you said that your wife went to work after your kids she did what did she do she was bookkeeper for the kitchen bathroom cabinet company okay perfect and then surprisingly enough guess when she stopped working grandchildren yeah it's a great excuse i love it i love it i love it yeah and again never happier that's wonderful and then your daughter's getting married in january um and will they stay here where you live in napells they live in fort myre's about 30 minutes away from us um she lives it's pretty close to that florida gulf coast where she's at and that's cool because if you go up there it's a pretty vibrant campus oh it really is we toured it i i'd love it well that was back with um nathan so that was like years ago we're going to be touring it this year with dylan trying to get him to go there well hey by the way let me know because my daughter will get you set up oh perfect counselor and what's so funny is so she went there but went there early got out of high school after three years you know what i mean and then went there to whatever and joined the sorority changed her life all good now she's counseling there it's like that's wonderful it is and i've seen the college grow to your point brian

mean and then went there to whatever and joined the sorority changed her life all good now she's counseling there it's like that's wonderful it is and i've seen the college grow to your point brian it's well funded yeah it's nice it's they're building yeah um safe it's safe and clean it's safe and clean yeah yeah every experience i take the little guy there to we've had lunch or drop you know combine see auntie alley at florida gulf coast with the two-year-old which of course she loves but i mean everything feels really good at florida gulf coast so it's a nice option for you guys yeah no we're gonna definitely he knows we're gonna go um check it out so your daughter graduated a year early she did she went through some tough times in high school a little bit of bullying yeah it was tough another reason why and it was up we sent them to this nice private school yeah um some of it may have been self-inflicted to be honest with you you know how you interact with you whatever but and i don't mean to make judgment because everything ends up working out or at least it did in this regard but she just had a a tough run um the last year or so and it just so happened that florida gulf coast had this program had with that in particular but she's smart girl she writes well she's creative and it was this type of thing that they made available that that i don't know if it was she went free or we had to pay a certain part i don't remember but all i know is the timing couldn't have been better and she loved it ended up being uh uh what do they call them the fraternity one of the girls that helped the got the uh the sorority members you know coast the parties and all those kind of so she got to she got to do that then she was in a sorority a lot of

fraternity one of the girls that helped the got the uh the sorority members you know coast the parties and all those kind of so she got to she got to do that then she was in a sorority a lot of the friends from there so it was a great experience i'm one i'm happy that that worked out that's wonderful because no i mean our daughter also went through some stuff like that just i think when girl when there's mean girls involved it's vicious and it can be so it didn't know that by the way oh yeah yeah um it and it's it's it's i call it quiet bullying when girls bully because bully is more obvious but with girls it's more behind the scenes vindictive stuff but it can be it can cause depression it can be horrible so well i think absolutely yeah and you have to i always tell parents of daughters you need to watch out for that because there can be things going on you don't even realize and then all and that's where the communication comes in with your kids and that's where it's like you need to talk to me you need to tell me what's going on and so um i'm going to do that because girls will just drop friends they'll be like i'm not your friend anymore that's that's hurtful especially some of them are you know they go camp together for years yeah but she's again my daughter handled it came out real well that's wonderful it really really is testament to because i think my wife i know my wife had a a lot yeah you know what i'm i was more like oh be a phase and it will pass still try to be a good dad but she talked to my wife that's the key that's the key and then back to the point that's most important yeah that is because i'm like i go to my wife so why you know especially with my son you know sports and all that and we're all

the point that's most important yeah that is because i'm like i go to my wife so why you know especially with my son you know sports and all that and we're all getting along really well but i'm like i don't why is this alie you're you're definitely the favorite in my life i always try to be that guy she's like jadey man start taking her to lunch yeah start doing these things that you do and you know sure enough i did it and our relationship turned into i i couldn't want anybody different than her for a daughter but it's funny my wife goes dude what is your problem in a good way you're good dad but you're not making the effort that you should have or because you're sitting here come to me why aren't i closer to so lesson learned so that goes back to my question when did that happen for you when did you that epiphany happened where you're like all right i gotta really was that my wife told me two years ago okay that was you know yeah maybe probably 10 plus years ago okay that's the track and we got along wasn't like there's a bad thing but i mean i don't think i was as near as helpful as my wife was um i tried you know again we had good family stuff but she was going through a tough time and my wife managed it and i didn't realize the degree of which and i probably could have been more helpful to be quite frankly you you just summed up our my life our life that relationship because they're way more she's the one who's guided that and it's like you really need to put in a little time that's a valid point because i'm like no one's ever told me that i'm always the guy whatever but i avoided that kind of conflict for one never dealt with it personally if anything i was always trying to hang out with buddies and you might have a bump here and there but i

but i avoided that kind of conflict for one never dealt with it personally if anything i was always trying to hang out with buddies and you might have a bump here and there but i don't remember it and i don't remember that at all with my son yeah to your point nicole i think there were some mean girls yeah oh usually there is no doubt that's usually what it is yeah and a lot usually that sums from jealousy it's usually that's that's typically what it is if you go back to the root of it someone was jealous and so someone decided to destroy your daughter's life that's pretty much how it follows on kind of yes it's like lord of the flies but girl version okay yeah and it's horrible it's not where that yeah it's very common it happens in middle school and high school for girls and it's very and then unfortunately some of these mean girls grow up to be mean women and so you but then by then you can handle them but you i can spot them a mile away you just know like keep them at arm's length because they're just like an energy thing or and for me i can read now like yeah you just you can tell just the way they are and i'm sure your wife could also totally spot you're like okay i'm not going to be good friends with her she'll stay in my outer woman you just know and it's unfortunate that they have children then they raise mean girls i would be very upset i get it because god you know make the mistake bah bah bah i wouldn't if my daughter was a bully i mean how's that i'm not gonna let i would be yeah front and center of that you can't do that but you're that's the point you're not a bully you're not raising a bully but there's adults that grow up and they don't change and they say generally that's it that's the point that the mother was

you're that's the point you're not a bully you're not raising a bully but there's adults that grow up and they don't change and they say generally that's it that's the point that the mother was probably the the mother or the parents um are were probably bullies and have not changed their ways have not grown as people and are just having little people like them like they think it's fine they don't correct they're like yeah that's fine they don't correct or they're insecure or they're jealous there's parents who are jealous of other kids you know i mean like their kid they're those kids might be doing better at something than my kid they're jealous it's just it's a horrible thing talk about faith like you were at the nick game while this was happening no might have been might have been no but those daughter daddy dates i call them um there's been times where i'm like you need to take her on a daddy daughter daddy date it's time and they go to lunch or they go to dinner or they go do something and it's such a game changer i will say this nicole and again i've only met your daughter the one time at that f1 but they that's yeah yeah and she's doll thank you really she's a sweetheart well you know i'm from that school nice to meet you and you're looking me in the eye and where you know what i mean i'm not trying to yeah i'm good too much into it but i you know oh really and you know you're you're generally going to talk to me and not just you know no she's a very authentic woman young i call her a woman i saw a girl but she's very authentic and very genuine and very kind yeah there you go yeah so no she really is she really is a good person yeah you know one of the first things she said when she new york comes she goes make sure and thank

genuine and very kind yeah there you go yeah so no she really is she really is a good person yeah you know one of the first things she said when she new york comes she goes make sure and thank him again for the f1 tickets i'll tell him how much i love it now and i said i will i promise you did mention and again i'll get you one of those days because to see that that much fun and that is that's become such an event the only problem is brian hot right and it gets packed so you've got to figure out timing and things like that and you'll have a better now now we know what to do and where the part dialed in yeah yeah you get what i mean because then there's you'll have my second year was a lot better than my first even the first was great but yeah we've literally watched every race since then the two of us watch every race i recorded now actually yeah yeah so before i ask my last question do you have any other questions oh i always have to ask him because i i ask and then he goes i had a question i don't think so i think we've covered some ground here you know you got everything i think so okay i think so my last question is always where do you see yourself in five years i would guess i had to guess retirement but i don't know so where do you see yourself in five years definitely retired okay you know and again i enjoy i have such a good working relationship if there is some consulting just to stay busy fine but um we love the working out type of thing my wife and i have really bonded that much closer because we both love to spend and love yoga so we'll do classes together and it's enjoyable because you know you're you're doing those things and then you know you meet the people there and like they're their hunts you know so i know that we'll be

classes together and it's enjoyable because you know you're you're doing those things and then you know you meet the people there and like they're their hunts you know so i know that we'll be doing a lot of that together yeah which is good because we enjoy it and it's the healthy i'm sure um more time spent trying to do the right thing for others i know that's a big part of it so i think we'll be busy i'll be doing a lot of golf there's no question hopefully with jd junior yeah know what i mean now he has those trainings he might be better than you oh i hope god i pray so i pray so but probably in a really good place probably still here we always thought about having a second home and we're kind of planning on that at some point and you never know but with airbnbs and you could month here and there my wife not leaving the children and there's there's no way and not yeah i don't want to either but you know i'm still saying my dream is seasons i still can't get over missing see yeah brian yeah i wanted to answer your question before i have one for you but but that was how i see myself retired and happy as can be and good friends and good family and just hopefully trying to stay healthy and maybe more grandchildren that would be the the don't mess up that wedding ceremony because that leads to the the grandchildren a lot of responsibilities you know what's interesting too my daughter she'll make a great mother my opinion because you know she will um she's ready now that's wonderful yeah and you know she's she's 30 years old now so yeah she's just turning 30 years old that's yeah great 30 so yeah but but i could see that happening and he's there he's done well he's smart kids got a good job so i could see that happening but

she's just turning 30 years old that's yeah great 30 so yeah but but i could see that happening and he's there he's done well he's smart kids got a good job so i could see that happening but yeah that would be awesome that's wonderful that's it you're so blessed i really am and i and you know and i'm appreciative of that um yeah yeah no it's wonderful yeah you said you had a question for us i do because i was talking to brian about this especially now knowing like that northern new jersey thing that you live and i lived this idyllic brown i remember fall and smelling fireplaces 100 you you know i mean i can remember snow days yep 100 okay and that was a lot more northeast right and you know i moved down here not that that love but moved down here love florida pretty hot you know what i mean and a lot the same and a lot of that's good you had mentioned oh you can play sports year round i was doing that in the summer but anyway i always always thought of that second home and then i go brian was telling me that you grew up in the west and the pacific northwest and you know having worked for cisco for all these years you know it's a lot of years as god's country right yes so i had family lived out in colorado then california why would you leave well i mean i i loved oregon um where i grew up in beaverton outside of portland i loved growing up there um we met in college in ashland oregon so are you guys okay okay yeah he came from jersey to oregon to go to college um so that's where we met and ashland oregon is this quaint little shakespearean festival town artsy hippie you got to go there magical if you're ever near ashland it's 20 miles north of the california border so you're in the redwoods area so that's

little shakespearean festival town artsy hippie you got to go there magical if you're ever near ashland it's 20 miles north of the california border so you're in the redwoods area so that's what i'm saying it's amazing no it's nice there's vineyards are out there new legal weeds out there now if you want but the whole thing but it's beautiful it's like she's saying it's 15 20 miles north of california border right on i5 there are little shakespeare's festival there wonderful park it's beautiful downtown area it's it's great growing up in oregon you know the thing is when you grow up somewhere like oregon you almost don't realize how beautiful it is until you leave and then you're like wow it's really majestic right it's majestic when you see a redwood tree you're changed yeah well that's northern california but even in oregon it's just douglas furs and green it's green green green the one thing i will say is it's very gray because it rains about nine months out of the year so like eight months out of the year that's key then i didn't know i didn't know maybe eight months out there i'm gonna have to oregonian say that's not right um it rains a lot i didn't realize that i lived in gray you don't know you live in gray and see and then i moved to new jersey with brian because we had nathan in oregon but then we didn't want to raise him in portland understood it was starting to turn into a little bit too much of a drug culture town which i'm sure you've seen what's happened to portland and where he's from sparta is kind of like where you lived in randoff this quaint little lake community super safe just idyllic all that so we moved out to new jersey to raise children when i moved is when i realized oh i was living in gray because in new jersey even

this quaint little lake community super safe just idyllic all that so we moved out to new jersey to raise children when i moved is when i realized oh i was living in gray because in new jersey even when it's cold in the winter it still could be a blue sky out like i didn't realize how much i needed a blue sky or i needed more sun so um i love oregon i will always love the pacific northwest but i don't think i could live in the gray again so that's what it is in gray because you think that beautiful nature it's gorgeous and then one of the reasons it's so green and so lush is because it rains so much and it and the air is clean and all that um and that's just what it's like up there it's just it's like seattle it's very rainy um it's gorgeous i love it but i just i couldn't do it again i because you do get seasons there but it's still gray seasons it does snow sometimes but it's still gray it is cool to like if you're driving in downtown portland i think it's i-5 you come around the corner and right there's mount hood in the distance and snow covered year round yeah so that's amazing i don't know if you can still see st helens or not i know it's erupted again and might have shrunk but st helens is out there yeah you know so as you're driving around there's these that's some objective volcanoes basically oh yeah i mean cool i'd be on the freeway just driving and there's the mountains like it's it was just like yeah that's right that's where it is but it's funny isn't it yeah the different things but you just said it because i couldn't do that either and you know what resonates because spending time in it's gray yeah it's very much like that a lot but you're 100 okay it's very much like that you know and again and i think there's a lot

and you know what resonates because spending time in it's gray yeah it's very much like that a lot but you're 100 okay it's very much like that you know and again and i think there's a lot of seasonal depression not just in oregon or washington but anywhere like that um i just i couldn't but you know what's funny you said about seasons i miss seasons too i do but i do feel the seasons in florida no i do i feel when the break comes in the fall um and then of course winter with that i feel i don't know about the break in the fall much more did when we moved here yeah but you know different strokes i do love and appreciate the sun and all that and do not get me wrong but you know in your mind you're like i'm gonna go be in the woods in northwest oregon or washington state and how they say british vancouver is the most i just you want what you don't have yes but i'm not going anywhere without you know the reality is everything's a plane right away yeah it'd be great to go on like a week or two vacation airbnb be it with the whole crew everything you would want you could get without living there you don't have that experience but you don't have to live in it you can get it in north carolina i think you were in north carolina or the summer right or south carolina well wherever you are i drilled into that city you were in looks really cool greenville yeah greenville yeah yeah um i need i want more north just because i want cooler yeah yeah but again uh you know i who wants black ice all that kind of stuff but i just laugh how there was four distinct seasons and maybe it was my youth too at that age where everything was looking good but god brawn i enjoyed that so much you knew spring you knew summer you knew fall you knew winter yeah and

and maybe it was my youth too at that age where everything was looking good but god brawn i enjoyed that so much you knew spring you knew summer you knew fall you knew winter yeah and i love the different clothes people are wearing yeah i miss that i miss the different like i wear all the things in january here i'm like where am i great i wear everything or january february and i see other people doing it too but um you know but in new jersey at least you'd be in winter was like six months or five months like you'd be dealing inside the kids were inside so much i found it as a kid i have such fond memories all wonderful when it would snow getting the day days what it would mean to come out in the spring when it's like 60 degrees and you're in shorts because it's not 30 right in the seasons but as a parent as a dad i hated it because if it snows i'm dealing i'm the one dealing with the sidewalks the driveway and then it melts and then it freezes again now i'm dealing with ice from a safety issue you know so it's fair because i haven't well i take that back i lived in new york with the kids long island yeah but then the the raking he i remember in the fall he'd be raking almost every weekend like blowing the leaves almost it was we had time we lived kind of back into the woods we did we had a cool place that our backyard was the woods and that was cool but he did spend a lot of the fall just blowing leaves so he he enjoyed he and plus when we moved here enjoyed that because you didn't have to deal with it he enjoyed the break from not doing it and it was fun i don't mind doing leaves honestly i'm all i'm okay with it because we'd be out there with the kids and they'd be rolling in it but now in new jersey they have ticks the ticks so it's

and it was fun i don't mind doing leaves honestly i'm all i'm okay with it because we'd be out there with the kids and they'd be rolling in it but now in new jersey they have ticks the ticks so it's not like you're like don't roll in it don't roll don't have yeah don't you could catch yeah so in conclusion we've all lived right about perfect timing where there wasn't yes you know oh i think so remember ticks when i was there now it's a big thing like yeah you got it because the deer oh you've not heard of it i've heard of it huge yeah and i think i've even come across a couple people have been you know they're hurting because of it yeah my mom got limes when she was up there it's terrible she did it's amazing how much she covered but yeah so we're like you we're not leaving the kids if the kids go to oregon i'm going oregon she's she's in that mode i'm like i'm not leaving floor i would go i actually would go to i i have my eye on like chattin ugah maybe that ash you turn me on to the chattin ugah it was nice i love it chattin ugah is cool yeah very cool town very cool i'll give a shout out to what is it 11 that whiskey at some white crew distillery right in chattin ugah i went there did you remember you told me to go there and then there was the hotel i stayed at when that river was right there i forget oh you stayed at the same hotel yeah the marion it's kind of like a bookie yeah yeah yeah oh my god great and you walk across that bridge right across the desserian bridge the tennessee river i think yeah but 11 whiskey at some of the best whiskey i've ever had if anyone's around go there to it's by the train right yeah that's right and nikol end on this if you want to end which is great because this was fun but part of the chat nuga i

ever had if anyone's around go there to it's by the train right yeah that's right and nikol end on this if you want to end which is great because this was fun but part of the chat nuga i love that you know the whole desmond dos story now he's that um the soldier that wouldn't carry a gun oh and oh my god it's the most amazing story uh guy's name is desmond dos and is this it was a i think i forget the name the movie hacksaw ridge or whatever but you told me about yeah but you gotta watch the movie because anyway he just became he people were against me wouldn't carry a gun anyway he ended up being like one of the bravest guys ever saved like 72 lives under five just crazy story anyway i i would tell everybody this is my hero this is my hero so sure enough that's where he's buried so when brian said check out chat nuga no way that's where this gentleman's buried and i went and saw his grave it just made because i'm like that's who you want to be a guy that's gentle but it's a hero and then oh my god it was that's amazing yeah oh i was meant to ask you did you go to your lacrosse coach's grave in arlington um i did i haven't been there since they buried him but it was the one of the most oh you went to the service oh god you guys i've never forget it horse drawn carrots oh no kidding fly over wow he was he was like i said you guys he can you imagine just i mean you know a manly man thing i never experienced war thank god but at the same time these heroes that put it out on the line this guy fought germans and planes yeah fought japanese and planes and you know just you need to challenge yourself as a man yeah so we have no clue no clue no i'll be the first to admit i would never be a cop and i would never i could never sign up for for an armed

know just you need to challenge yourself as a man yeah so we have no clue no clue no i'll be the first to admit i would never be a cop and i would never i could never sign up for for an armed service or thing like that i'm i'm a guy's guy but i'm not a guy a man's man or whatever right whatever that difference is i don't know what it is but these guys that that have gone the war flown over and you know in planes that's hero they're heroes heroes they give us they gave us the life work we're sitting here having a podcast thank you yeah exactly yeah yeah absolutely 100 100 and that's a note yeah you have to watch that movie and you get a chance it's it's i mean he's world-famous i mean and it's just real because at the end of the movie they interview people that oh that's cool and they tell the real thing like you know because he got just abused everybody didn't want to be with him because he wouldn't carry a gun wow yeah interesting we'll have to check it out yeah check it out watch that so all right that's a good note to end on before you end it i'll just say thank you really appreciate it come on absolutely that's part of my I know but you don't go and you have a nice succinct ending and wrap up but i just thank you so much it's awesome just yes really cool yeah really cool you know i i know your husband and you know we've we've it's it's been fun it's been it's been good because you know like you said you talk about business and you want to do the right thing i just like to yeah when you get when you have to go through that and you're with people that are good people that are fair people and you know it's it's wild to be able to be here so thanks well thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom and um you know i think a lot of

people that are good people that are fair people and you know it's it's wild to be able to be here so thanks well thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom and um you know i think a lot of people are a lot of our listeners will learn a lot from some some of the stuff you shared especially um professionally i think oh cool the wisdom you have when it comes to your professional journey um and the different aspects of sales and the integrity that you bring to that role i think the younger generations can learn a lot from that and so i really appreciate that you did such a deep dive into that because um i think there's aspects that um the younger generations need to learn a little bit more um about the meaning behind when you're selling something not just the sale so i think you really you you brought that to the forefront one one thing i'll add to what we've seen boomers get a take a tough rap um say in the comments and stuff but i do think you you've represented the boomer as well and i think for our listeners and i've said it in other episodes where i've said i've i know some boomers that are good people i think you've represented your your boomer generation well and i know you're not full of crap this is all genuine stuff and i've known jd for a few years now several years yeah 15 18 years probably wow wow i didn't know it was that long yeah wow well and so much of what we are about here is authenticity and so i can say to our listeners we have an authentic boomer in here that's authentic and i think there are more but i i think as brian just said you're such a great example of someone that gets it that's real that's um that can just relate with anyone probably from any age in any generation and i think that and you're

brian just said you're such a great example of someone that gets it that's real that's um that can just relate with anyone probably from any age in any generation and i think that and you're not all about yourself you know you you're you're giving back you um are there to to meet people halfway i just know that that's how you approach life and and i think there are other boomers like you out there it's just that unfortunately the younger 10 not like that before they come across one like you and so i think they get discouraged you know and so um i just i'm so glad you came on to share your story because i appreciate that what what are they if i may ask what what are they what do you find because that they're rude they're uh in general again i'm interested very rude to service people like staff at restaurants and stores self-centered greedy yeah greedy the whole world oh i'm not even kidding right there's a lot of people with an attitude of the boomers f*** it up for the rest of us type of thing excuse my friend do you still greatest generation to boomer what uh no greatest generation silent generation boomer gen x so i was raised by silent generation probably probably okay yeah yeah no and i think there's a lot of a lot of good boomers out there here's the thing there's a lot of good boomers but the ones that aren't are loud about it okay and so they're the loud ones and then the other boomers are just living their life like it like the rest of us you know but that's what's being projected onto the younger generation got it part of it i think part of it i the is probably very professionally driven corporate driven in that there's a lot of boomers still in management roles and they're tireless workers and they expect the same from

professionally driven corporate driven in that there's a lot of boomers still in management roles and they're tireless workers and they expect the same from the people that they're managing so that they don't they don't get the concept of work-life balance right they expect you to always be on and that's part of the the perception i don't know if it's as much as you you know you're go down the park and oh let's stay clear of the boomers but it's you know that's sort of cool to see what you guys have heard and it's good to know because you know what yeah you don't know right why do that yeah yeah no no but i think you are right because millennials brought the work-life balance tried to bring the work-life balance into the workplace and then gen z's really wanting that they're you know their state their their one have more expectations and um have even more boundaries and so i think when there's younger generations coming into the corporate world with that attitude and then if there's boomers that they're like we go to work we work as hard as possible you work over time you work on the weekends no questions asked they just don't they yeah they clash and so and so i think that's also what's going on you know and i think they can both learn from each other yeah but right now there's a clash and then there's gen x and they're going wait let's talk this out come on you guys so um that on the professional and then and then on and just when they're out in the wild it's the the ones that are rude but they were rude their whole life that's the thing these are just rude people they just happen to be in this generation it's not a generational thing there's gen x there's an act like that you know so but that's why again i'm so happy you came on

are just rude people they just happen to be in this generation it's not a generational thing there's gen x there's an act like that you know so but that's why again i'm so happy you came on and shared your story because you're just this awesome guy you know this is great guy you know you you you you kind of just end up with people that you want to be around and you know do the right thing you know probably a lot of that yeah well i think you're really cool really cool boomer really cool boomer so again thank you and just sharing about your personal life and um again there's just a lot of wisdom there and i'm really happy that our listeners are going to get um get some exposure to what you have to share because i know there's someone out there that will learn something or there might be other boomers out there listening that can say i can totally relate to that so cool i remember that you know or oh yeah so um again thank you so much yeah the impala is what i was thinking of when this is the race yes yes the car the car it was on his mind that's yeah that's what i mean yes i'm thinking that for the last couple of years and good luck with your daughter's wedding in japan you are always exciting and with your grand babies and um with your retirement that's in the future and all that stuff so thank you again and to our listeners please leave any questions or comments we always love to hear from you and we will see you next time bye